The Plan
by HitsInTheEye
Summary: At long last, the Nisekoi girls decide to reveal their true feelings to Raku. But things don't go exactly according to plan...
1. The Plan

**The Plan **

_Part One  
_

* * *

_**A/N: **If you're just coming off the anime or not that very far in the manga, this story will have spoilers. Proceed at your own risk._

* * *

Sitting at her desk as the first few rays of sunlight began to pass through her window. Dark brown hair and eyes, a slender girl in her second-year at Bonyari High School. Clad in her pajamas, Onodera Kosaki had her face buried into her arms, looking as if she hadn't slept for weeks.

"Today..."

She turned her head slowly to look at the cellphone blinking next to her hand. Her alarm was going off, vibrating like a buzzing bee against her thumb. The conversation from last night with her best friend, Miyamoto Ruri, flashed through her mind.

_Today..._

_I..._

She twisted her face back into her wrists, rubbing her sore eyes against them. Since middle school, or perhaps as long as eleven years ago, Onodera Kosaki had been saving up every drop of courage she ever had, just for this moment. Emotion boiled inside her chest and made her face redden just at the thought of it.

In a mansion a distance away from the Onodera confectionery, there was another girl in her second-year at Bonyari High School. Having eaten what others would consider an outrageously big meal before heading to bed, Kirisaki Chitoge had fallen asleep like a rock. Drooling slightly, the blonde girl with stunning blue eyes had snored away and clutched at her pillow and stuffed gorilla doll, rolling back and forth so vigorously that her sheets had fallen to the floor. When she finally awoke, she was completely upside down, head hanging off the edge of her mattress, and the annoying face of her gorilla doll staring back into her eyes.

"Geh..."

Chitoge grabbed the gorilla and reluctantly threw it back onto her bed. She sat up and hugged her pillow, her hair splayed out like shooting stars in every direction. Her tired eyes crept over to the clock sitting by her bed, indicating that morning had arrived and it was time to head to school.

Chitoge sighed and collapsed back onto her bed. While most of the time dreams faded away shortly after waking up, Chitoge's dream was being incredibly stubborn. It was pounding into her head, every single scene, every little feeling being embedded into her memories. A dream that had pushed something at her, an idea that wouldn't leave. Like the annoying gorilla that she now fiddled with on top of her pillow, it was something that she wanted to throw away with all her might, but...

Even then, it still sat on her pillow.

"This sucks," mumbled Chitoge, her voice muffled. She grabbed the pillow and pushed her face into it. "Gahhh! What are you thinking, Chitoge!? Don't be stupid!"

She relaxed back down onto the bed and peeked up from her pillow. The gorilla stared smugly at her.

"Am I really going to..." said Chitoge, squeezing her eyes shut. "Today...?"

A few rooms over, a girl who could be mistaken as a beautiful boy if it wasn't for her well-sized chest was also suffering from this dilemma. In an apartment belonging to the Chief of Police, in the room next to Onodera Kosaki, in the bed of a certain yakuza heir, there were girls that had somehow all come to the same conclusion. The very same decision that was currently being reconsidered over and over again by Kirisaki Chitoge, by Onodera Kosaki.

That today was the day when these girls were finally going to confess to a boy named Ichijou Raku.


	2. At School

**The Plan**

_Part Two  
_

* * *

Ichijou Raku felt tired as he walked to class. Besides the fact that it was that time of the year when exams were closing in again, Raku had spent the morning cooking breakfast for the yakuza gang members at his home and trying to convince his "elder sister," Kanakura Yui, to stop sleeping in his futon. Unable to get a straight answer from her, Raku had merely sighed and left early to go feed the animals in the school pen. The task had made him feel a little better, but it didn't change the fact that the day wasn't starting out very well for him.

Fortunately, there was always one thing to look forward to once he arrived at school.

"Good morning, Onodera!"

Yes. Although it hadn't turned out exactly like he had wanted, that disastrous seating change at the beginning of the year had resulted in his class neighbor being the girl that he had secretly loved since middle school.

Onodera Kosaki.

Every morning, seeing her sweet smile and hearing her cheerful reply was enough to dispel any negative emotions from Raku's body. It was like being embraced by warm sunshine and fluffy clouds. Just seeing Onodera was enough to light up the rest of his day.

"G-Good morning, Ichijou-kun."

Raku felt like he had just been shattered into a thousand pieces.

Something was wrong. The normally cheerful reply had been turned into something faint and half-hearted. In fact, she wasn't even looking at him! Her face was in the complete opposite direction!

"Uh...Onodera? Is something wrong?"

"W-Wrong? No, of course not. Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. Ahaha, why would you even ask that, Ichijou-kun?"

A second shattering blow.

So quick. The response had been so quick that it felt dismissive. What was going on here? Hadn't they wished each other a good weekend before leaving school last week? Hadn't they been on good enough terms that he had texted her a cat video just the day before? They had even chatted for a little on the phone. In fact, if he was to compare himself to the Raku of one year ago, he was sure that his past self would be jealous enough to cry blood.

"Hey...Chitoge. Do you think Onodera's acting a little strange—"

"Don't talk to me."

An instant reply that chilled Raku into ice.

"C-Chitoge?"

The hand that Raku put out to touch Chitoge's shoulder stopped in mid-air. An overwhelming wave was emanating from Chitoge, so fierce that Raku's hand was refusing to listen to him. He fearfully slid into his seat, wondering what the hell was going on.

_What should I do? _

Right now, Kirisaki Chitoge was in intense contemplation. It wasn't about the confession she had decided to make, but a different beast altogether. Or rather, if the confession was the dark mage that was the final boss, then this problem would be the dragon he kept as his minion.

A glitter of gold and a small clink from under the collar of Chitoge's uniform.

Ichijou Raku's pendant was currently hanging around her neck.

Because of the frustration of this morning, Chitoge had been running a little late to school. To save some time, she had decided to take a shortcut by jumping over the school wall. However, as had happened often in the past, she had seen something glinting on the ground near the animal pens as she rushed to her first class.

_Idiot...Why do you keep dropping this thing if it's so important to you?_

Sighing at his usual obliviousness, Chitoge had picked up the pendant and decided to give it back to him in class. It was a simple gesture, something that any normal person would have done if they were in her shoes.

So it wasn't until Chitoge had taken her seat in class and seen Raku enter that the thought had entered her mind. The reason why picking up the pendant had been the worst thing that she could've done today.

The pendant wasn't a secret or anything. But it was likely that Raku wanted to keep the true story behind the pendant to himself and his friends. After all, putting aside the issues of privacy, there was also the fact that Raku and his pseudoharem was frequently at the center of discussion. Learning about the pendant would surely only start up more rumors and cause all sorts of misunderstandings to happen.

That was why Chitoge couldn't just return the pendant to Raku any time she felt like it. It was more appropriate to do it away from the classroom or when they had a moment alone.

But then there was the matter of the confession. It wasn't like she could just return the pendant and then say "Ah, also one more thing. Raku, I think I've fallen in love with you!" Stupid, stupid! Just thinking about it ruined the mood. Chitoge couldn't bear confessing in that kind of situation. No, if she was going to confess, it wasn't going to be secondhand to this damn problem pendant!

But she had promised herself to confess today. If she didn't do it today, she wasn't sure if she'd have enough nerve left for a next time. But returning the pendant would mean wasting one of the few opportunities she had where they weren't in the center of a gossip cyclone. However, if she didn't return the pendant then this idiot would probably notice soon and start fretting over it. And then the question would be why Chitoge hadn't returned the pendant right at this moment, when everyone was settling in for the morning class and not really putting much attention on the star-destined couple anyways!

_Ahhhhh! What do I do...?_

Return the pendant, lose the confession.

Keep the pendant, but then make it harder to confess.

The waves emitting from Chitoge grew stronger. Raku involuntarily shivered as he began putting his textbooks in his desk.

_What's with this situation...?_ thought Raku.

On his left, an Onodera that was trying her hardest to ignore him for some reason.

On his right, a Chitoge looking more like a fuming gorilla than ever before.

"Ehem. Good morning, everyone!"

Kanakura Yui, the teacher and "elder sister" of Ichijou Raku, stepped up to the front of the classroom with her usual, bright smile. She gave a little wave and winked discreetly at Raku. For some reason, Raku couldn't help but feel like the day was just going to get worse.

* * *

Elsewhere in the school, in a first-year classroom, more trouble was brewing this morning. Onodera Haru, the younger sister of Onodera Kosaki, was reading and rereading the letter that she had spontaneously written the night before. Her friend, Fuu-chan, was watching her quietly from the side of her desk.

"I-It's not what you think," said Haru. Once again, Fuu-chan was showing that happily blank face.

"Hmm? What am I thinking about?" said Fuu-chan. Haru turned her reddening face back to the letter.

It was no use. Ever since finding out about her crush on Raku, Fuu-chan had been having that "I know what's really going on here, Haru" glint in her eyes. So now that she actually had a full-blown love letter right in her hands, there was no way that Haru could convince her best friend that she didn't have a crush on Ichijou Raku.

After all, she clearly did.

Haru sighed and her head made its way down to the cool surface of her desk, the cheesy, almost disgustingly romantic confession resting face-down against her springy cowlick.

"Okay. I like him. I really, really like him. I like that dense idiot that's always nosing his way into other people's business, that doesn't have a single clue that my sister likes him even though she's been trying so hard to get her feelings across, that stupid moron that has great taste in food and isn't bad at cooking and looks really good in a kimono—"

Haru banged her head against the desk. Her classmates looked up, startled at the sudden noise.

"Nggh..." groaned Haru, her eyes scrunching up. "...I like him, Fuu-chan. Even though Onee-chan likes him..."

"Haru..."

"Today...I'm going to give him this letter," said Haru, holding the letter tightly in her hands. "I'm going to give him all of my feelings with this paper, like you would normally do. And I'll get normally rejected by him and cry a little and then feel better and then be genuinely happy when he and Onee-chan finally get through to each other and..."

Haru stopped and shook her head. Oh no, no...she was starting to feel sad already. The same overwhelming feelings that she had felt when she had tried to give up on him, the feelings that had flowed out through her eyes in reluctant tears.

Not this time. This time was different. This time, she was going to be true to herself. She was going to face him not as Onodera Kosaki's little sister, but Onodera Haru, the girl that had fallen in love with him.

She took a deep breath. When she tried to smile, it came naturally, as if it had just been released from a leash. Yeah. She was probably going to get rejected. But it was okay. Because Raku and her sister deserved each other. Because, in the end, she knew that they'd all still have happy times together no matter what happened.

"Haru..."

"It's okay, Fuu-chan. I'm fine now," said Haru, turning her blinding smile to her friend.

"No, I mean...you're crying on the letter."

"GY-FUN!?"

Haru's face turned even more red as the class once again looked at her, this time because of the strangely cute noise that had just come from her mouth. Fuu-chan's happily blank face suddenly looked a lot happier for some reason. Haru looked down at the letter and saw that it was completely dry.

"Fuu-chan..." said Haru, her eyes watering with angry tears.

"Ehe~" said Fuu-chan, poking out her tongue.


	3. At School 2

**The Plan**

_Part Three  
_

* * *

Back upstairs, Yui had started her lecture for the morning class. Raku was jotting down notes out of habit, his eyes wandering back and forth from Kosaki and Chitoge. The two girls had started to act more like their usual selves but Kosaki was being unusually jumpy today while Chitoge was being unusually silent. Although it seemed arrogant to think so, Raku was sure that the problem had something to do with him. If they were just normally irritated or if some outside force was the reason for their discontent, then he wouldn't be singled out like this with their new reactions.

Just before class had started, both Miyamoto Ruri and Maiko Shu had come by to chat. Kosaki had talked normally with Ruri, although for some reason, their conversation had eventually descended into hushed whispers. Shu had made small talk with Chitoge, who had been a little more reluctant than usual, but still willing to whack him when he started flirting with Chitoge's friends. As modestly as Raku wanted to live his life, he couldn't deny the fact that all evidence pointed to him being the source of Kosaki and Chitoge's strange behaviors.

Raku tried to ignore them at first. If they didn't want to talk to him about it, then it was probably something obvious that he was missing or something he couldn't fix. So for the time being, Raku decided that he'd try and see if he had done anything wrong.

For Chitoge, there was probably a list long enough to wrap around the world. But as far as he knew, his relationship with Onodera Kosaki wasn't very rocky. They were good friends (something he cried about inside), having even talked about some cat videos the previous weekend. She hadn't been in a bad mood then and he hadn't seen her until this morning, so he couldn't figure out why Kosaki would be acting this wa—

_Oh._

_Wait._

The thought that blew into Raku's mind was like a boulder crashing through a thick wall. How could he have been so stupid? No wonder Kosaki didn't want to talk to him about it! It was so obvious, so blatantly in his face that he might as well have been blind.

Kosaki didn't like cat videos.

Raku slammed his face into his desk at how stupid that sounded. But it made sense! After all, she hadn't been in a bad mood earlier this weekend. And the only thing he had done with her before today was send a really cute cat video. As strange as it might seem since all animals usually loved Kosaki, the fact was that he didn't know whether or not Kosaki liked watching and talking about cats doing cute things. What if she really hated cats? Or what if she really hated cats doing cute things!? God, they had talked for almost three hours that day!

_Idiot, idiot, idiot! If she had been holding it in, if she had been pretending to like it for **three hours**..._

Ludicrous. But still plausible. Onodera Kosaki was just that nice of a person. But even someone as nice as her probably wouldn't feel good after wasting three hours of her day talking about something she didn't like.

_What have I done? I'm such an idiot..._thought Raku, face plastered onto the surface of his desk. He had to apologize to her as soon as possible. He wanted to believe that she would forgive him but three hours was a long time. No, that didn't matter. If he had to get on his knees and beg like a dog, if he had to restart their relationship from square one, it didn't matter. If he could just keep talking to her, if they could just get back on good terms...

Raku clenched his fist and made his determination solid. No matter what, he loved Onodera Kosaki. And as a man, this was one grievance that he needed to make up for or else he'd never be able to forgive himself.

_Jeez! How am I supposed to give him this pendant!?_ thought Chitoge, scratching her head furiously.

_How am I supposed to confess to him now...?_ thought Kosaki, crying on her desk. She hadn't meant to sound so abrupt with Raku, but her nerves had gotten the best of her. And now he was looking really uncomfortable.

But it didn't matter what Kosaki was feeling right now. Because like it or not, Miyamoto Ruri was staring daggers into her back. After their discussion last night, Kosaki had ended up promising that she would confess today. If she turned back on her promise, after all these years of failing to confess, Ruri would really be pissed off. There was an awful, dark feeling spreading across her back; although Kosaki wasn't exactly sure, this was probably what people called killing intent.

_Okay...calm down, Kosaki. You can do this. You made a promise to yourself. You said you'd do it today._

Kosaki took a deep breath and tried to relax. She was acting really awkwardly with Raku. If she could just get back to normal, the way they always talked, then she would feel a lot more confident about her decision.

_Okay...calm down, Chitoge. You can do this. You made a promise to yourself. You said you'd do it today._

Chitoge dropped her hands from her head and decided that she'd just forget about the pendant. Confessing was more important. She could give the pendant back anytime. In fact, if for some reason this beansprout rejected her, then she'd feel a lot better after kicking this stupid pendant out into the ocean. No, no, that was bad. She had to restrain herself.

Raku froze up like a sheep being hunted by wolves. For some reason, both girls had become really quiet. There was this sense of unease billowing off them, sending shivers down his spine.

_W-What? What's going on? What happened!?_

_I'm going to confess. I need to ask him for some time later today..._

_Screw the pendant! Just forget it! Right now, you have to figure out a way to get some time alone with this guy..._

"I-Ichijou-kun!"

"Raku!"

Three people turned into statues at that moment. It was like they had been struck by lightning. Raku had heard both of them call his name and wasn't sure who to respond to.

"S-Sorry. You can go ahead, Chitoge-chan," said Kosaki, her face glowing like a Christmas light.

"N-No, don't worry! It's nothing important. You go ahead, Kosaki-chan," said Chitoge, an equally impressive glow on her face.

_Hm?_ they both thought.

_Is Chitoge-chan blushing right now...?_

_Why's Kosaki-chan so red?_

The two girls stared at each other, their faces flush with embarrassment and the bottled-up feelings of a maiden in love. They could see themselves in each other's eyes, glittering blue and soft, velvety brown. To the two girls, this sudden confrontation, this moment when their feelings were just inches away from bursting out of their hearts, it was like looking in a mirror.

"C-Chitoge-chan...?"

"Kosaki-chan...?"

And then, suddenly, as if there had been piece hovering all along above a hole in their brain, it clicked.

"Kosaki-chan...the guy you like..."

"Chitoge-chan...could it be that..."

And Ichijou Raku sat in the middle of it, not understanding a word of what was going on.

Then, a hole exploded in the wall behind Kanakura Yui.


	4. At School 3

**The Plan**

_Part Four  
_

* * *

"E-Eh?"

Dust raced into the classroom. As expected of the head of the Chinese mafia group Char Siu, Kanakura Yui only gave a small yelp of surprise as the wall behind her blew into pieces. A stream of delicate, but wild laughter came from the cloud of dust. Something enormous was coming into the room, creating a racket of whirring gears and mechanical creaks.

"Hehehe..."

"T-This voice!" said Raku, hand over his eyes to block the dust. "It couldn't be...!?"

"Hehehe...I've arrived, Raku-sama!"

A small yellow crane rolled into the room, its hook swinging dangerously through the dust. In the crane's control seat, there was a girl with two tails of orange hair running down her shoulders, her entire appearance rendering fragile beauty, like a flower that had just bloomed.

"T-Tachibana!?"

"Ehehehe~" giggled Tachibana Marika, her eyes spinning feverishly as she drove the crane forward. "Look, Raku-sama! I've finished it! I spent the entire weekend crafting this just for you!"

As the dust began to clear, Raku got a whiff of something strong and oddly citrus-like. He reeled back as he realized what it was.

"Energy drinks!? Just how many energy drinks did you drink, Tachibana!?"

"Please accept this token of my everlasting love, Raku-sama!" said Marika, pulling various levers in the crane. The hook swung forward, bringing the enormous package that it held crashing onto the ground.

"W-Wha—!?"

The entire classroom covered their eyes as light bounced off the object, casting a blinding aura that illuminated the entire room. The object that Tachibana Marika had worked tirelessly on throughout the entire weekend, a product of dozens and dozens of cases of energy drinks—

A giant statue made of solid gold was standing in front of them. Just because it was Tachibana Marika, everyone had expected it to be a statue of Ichijou Raku. And they were right. At least with everything below the neck.

But instead of Raku's trademark cross-shaped clips and Gundam vulcan sideburns, there was a completely different characteristic trait being shown.

An enormous beak and gaping, wide eyes.

The face of Tachibana Marika's parrot, Raku-sama.

"W-WHY IS MY FACE A PARROT!?"

Chitoge was bent over her upturned desk, pounding on its legs as she tried to hold back her laughter. Kosaki could only stare lifelessly at the statue, having unknowingly hoped deep inside for an actual replica rather than this masterpiece.

"Aww. It's cute," said Yui, patting the golden statue. The entire classroom couldn't help but think the same thought: _WHAT!?_

"Ah...I'm sorry, Raku-sama. It might not be perfect...I started to feel a little light-headed," said Marika, swaying in the chair.

"Tachibana, I really appreciate all the work you put into it, so please get out of that crane and go to sleep!" said Raku.

"I'm sorry you had to see me in this state...I was hoping to bring it to you later today at your home. But for some reason, I got this strange feeling that something irreversible would happen if I didn't brin...brin...bring this to you...right...zzz..."

Tachibana's head fell back over her seat as she started snoring.

"What just happened...?" said Raku, feeling extremely let-down for some reason. Meanwhile, Chitoge had fallen off her desk, tears streaming from her eyes.

"Well...we can't really have class with all this dust everywhere," said Yui, carefully removing Marika from the crane.

_No, no, aren't there way more outrageous problems here!?_ thought everyone.

"Haha...Marika-chan can be really flamboyant sometimes, huh?" said Kosaki.

"I think that's an understatement, Onodera," said Raku, watching as Yui dragged Marika over to an area without debris.

_Wait a second. Just now...was Onodera talking to me again?_

"Onodera—"

"Ah...Ichijou-kun..." said Kosaki, also noticing that they were back to speaking terms. She looked down at her feet as she tried to stop a smile from forming on her face. "Uhm...Ichijou-kun..."

"O-Onodera. Listen...I'm sorry."

"N-No! You don't have anything to be sorry for," said Kosaki. _Oh no, I really was making him feel uncomfortable!_

"Yes, I do...I'm sorry that I put you in a bad mood earlier—"

"No, Ichijou-kun, that didn't have anything to do with you—"

"It was probably because I showed you that cat video, right? I'm sorry, I didn't know that you didn't like cats...and I talked to you for three hours about it too—"

"Ichijou-kun, I was just acting a little weird because I was thinking about confessin—I mean, I was worrying about something that's completely unrelated to you—"

As Raku and Kosaki talked over each other, brief snatches of their respective one-sided conversations registered in their minds.

_Eh?_

_Huh?_

"Cats...?"

"Something that's completely unrelated to me...?"

Chitoge stopped laughing as she saw the scene in front of her. Kosaki and Raku were staring into each others' eyes. Seeing their expressions, their lips quivering as if something was pushing forcefully at their teeth to try and get out

_Could it be...? Maybe Kosaki-chan really is..._

Chitoge swallowed. What had Kosaki been trying to say just a moment ago? Some time alone...? Maybe she wanted to...

No, it was a meaningless phrase. After all, Kosaki was good friends with Raku. It could've meant anything. But the way she had looked...the blush in her face, that aura of unease and hopefulness that Chitoge had only just recently started to recognize...

She felt the pendant cold against her chest.

_Maybe...the guy she's been in love with is_—

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

For the second time that day, the classroom suffered collateral damage. The windows shattered into a million pieces as a group of men wearing black suits suddenly burst into the classroom. They rolled across the floor, over the glass, and came to a stop in front of the classroom. One of the men let down a white bundle that he had been cradling while breaking in.

"Thank you," said the bundle, stretching out to reveal a small girl with a mask on her face. In fact, all of the men in suits also had masks. They were solid white with a big red X on the front.

"Who are you guys!?" yelled one of the students.

"Fufu. I'm glad you asked," said the girl wearing a white lab coat that was far too big for her. "We're an organization that's come to stop a dangerous event from happening here!"

"What!? Dangerous? Are you talking about the crane? Because that's already resolved—"

"NO! That puny thing? It's daily slapstick, that's all!" shouted the girl, pointing condescendingly at the crane. "No...we're here for something far more lethal. An event that has the potential to destroy the entire world!"

"What!?" shouted the students.

"Nuclear warfare!?"

"The release of Half-Life 3!?"

"Another new Sunrise series!?"

"WRONG!" shouted the girl. "Even worse than that! We, a group referred to by others as the 'Shield of False Love,' are here to stop only one thing!"

Her finger whipped forward to point at Ichijou Raku.

"PLOT PROGRESSION!"

"Huh!?"

"Hurry! Separate those females from that beta male before things start falling in his favor!" ordered the girl. The black suits began converging on Raku and Kosaki.

"GWAAH!"

There was a sound like a cannon going off and then one of the black suits went flying through the hole in the wall. Chitoge stood in front of Raku and Kosaki, her fist red from smacking into the black suit's face.

"I don't know what's going on here, but you're scaring my friends," said Chitoge, her eyes flaring up. "If you guys lay even a single finger on Kosaki-chan, I won't let you off easy."

The black suits hesitated as they felt Chitoge's battle rage wash over them. The girl in the white labcoat frowned and jabbed her finger at Chitoge.

"SILENCE, YOU FOREIGNER! YOU'RE NOT EVEN A PART OF THIS COUNTRY! BUTT OUT OF OUR BUSINESS!"

"H-Huh!?" said Chitoge, thrown off for a second.

"Hmph! Just because you have flowing strawberry blonde hair and a super-stylish body, you think you can stop us!?" said the girl, fuming.

"Eh? Her hair's strawberry blonde? I thought it was normal blonde," said one of the students.

"No, no. Look at the tips. They're kind of pink."

"Oh wow, you're right. Kirisaki-san, you're amazing!"

"W-What? Why are you all staring at my hair?" said Chitoge, looking flustered.

"Now! While she's distracted by the plebeians! Get her!" yelled the girl, stomping her feet on the floor.

At that moment, the wooden floors began to creak. Everyone stopped as they heard the sound. It was originating from underneath the enormous golden statue of Raku-sama.

"You can't be seri—"

Raku's sentence was interrupted as the floor finally cracked under the weight of the statue and sent them all falling down.


	5. Mayhem

**The Plan**

_Part Five  
_

* * *

Just moments before—

"Fuu-chan...!" said Haru, her eyes watering with angry tears.

"Ehe~" said Fuu-chan, sticking out her tongue.

_Craaack._

"Eh?"

"Hm?"

Haru and Fuu-chan looked at each other, wondering which one of them had made that strange noise.

_Crack. Crack. Crack._

This time, the entire classroom did not look at Haru. Instead, they looked up at the section of ceiling that was bending inwards.

"W-Wha..." started the teacher.

"GET OUT! NOW! DON'T STOP, JUST MOVE! GET OUT OF YOUR SEATS!"

There was a moment's hesitation, but then everyone followed the warning of one silver-haired beauty and ran out of their seats. Haru and Fuu-chan felt their hands pulled and their bodies fly across the room.

Then, the ceiling collapsed.

Dust and wood came crashing into the room. Luckily, only the front section of the room had fallen in and the students there had been the fastest to get to the door. Even so, there were still cries of shock and fear as the tremendous noise rushed into their ears.

As the dust began to clear, the shapes of second-year students from the classroom above could be seen trying to rise from the debris. Although something like the ceiling falling was certainly very serious, the drop was not far enough to cause any major injuries. Insulation material between the floor and ceiling had provided some cushioning and the ceiling had fallen in roughly intact pieces.

As a result, the remaining members of the "Shield of False Love," had no qualms with jumping down from the upper floor. There were more cries of alarm as the room began to fill with black suits.

"Ehem. Well, I wasn't expecting that," said the girl in the white lab coat. "Nevertheless, it seemed to have worked in my favor. Wahaha. Wahaha!"

"Ow..."

Her mouth closed so quickly that she bit her tongue. Crying because of the intense pain, the girl in the white coat looked through one watering eye at the plain, wimpy looking boy that rose from the floor.

Ichijou Raku rubbed the sore spot on his hip that he had landed on when the floor collapsed. But as the pain began to settle and his mind cleared up, he realized that there was something more important that he should be doing.

"Onodera! Chitoge!" shouted Raku, fear rising into his throat.

"We're fine!"

Chitoge shouted back, just a few feet behind him, Kosaki held safely in her arms.

"What about Tachibana and Yu-"

"I got her, Raku-chan," said Yui, her legs splayed out from when she had fallen onto the ground. She gave a relieved smile as she looked down at Marika sleeping against her chest.

It looked like everyone was safe. The knot in Raku's chest loosened instantly and he started to breathe again. But then he remembered that they were still in a dangerous situation.

"Damn it! They're still all together!" said the girl, biting her lip. "Whatever. We'll just take care of them now!"

"Beansprout! Take Kosaki-chan and get out of here!"

"Huh!?" said Raku as Chitoge pushed Kosaki towards him. "What are you talking about—"

"Chitoge-chan—!"

"You have to get Kosaki-chan to safety. I'll take care of them while you guys get away," said Chitoge, rolling up her sleeves.

"Hey Chitoge! Don't be stupid, all of us have to get out of he—"

"Does it look like we can do that, idiot!? You guys need to run before it's too late!" said Chitoge.

"Don't give me that! I'm not leaving!"

"What? You think these goons can take me?" said Chitoge, her eyes narrowed with irritation.

"That doesn't matter! You're a girl! You think I'm going to leave you here to fight all by yourself!?"

Chitoge felt her face flush at the comment. She turned away, unable to look at Raku's intense eyes.

"Idiot. I'll be fine. Do you want Kosaki-chan to get hurt?"

"No, but—"

"Then go! The longer you two stay here, the more dangerous it'll get!"

Raku was about to shout something back when he felt a tug at his sleeve. He turned to see Yui holding Marika out to him.

"Take Marika-chan too," said Yui, putting her into Raku's arms. "Don't worry. Chitoge-chan won't be alone."

Ie, Yui's short doll-like bodyguard, appeared at her side. Seeing her, Raku realized an important fact that he had been missing.

"Go, Beansprout," said Chitoge, her back turned to him. From the day that they had started this fake relationship, Raku had seen Chitoge's angry face, her laughing face, her crying face, her happy face. But right now, he saw nothing but a figure standing solidly to protect her friends, like a wall that could not be broken.

"Chitoge. Earlier, you wanted to say something to me, didn't you?"

Chitoge's heart jumped as she heard that. This damn beansprout! Why was he so perceptive only during times like this?

"That...that was..."

"If you have something to say to me, then I'll be waiting to hear it. So you better get out of this safe!"

Chitoge involuntarily took a breath. Really, that idiot. What was he saying at a time like this? That stupid moron. Chitoge brushed her hand over her mouth to hide the smile forming there.

"Hmph. I don't need you to tell me that. So, hurry up and go!"

Raku nodded. He adjusted Marika in his arms and then checked to see that Kosaki was ready. Yui stepped up next to Chitoge with Ie at her side.

"I assume you wouldn't want to talk this out instead?" asked Yui hopefully.

"Talk it out? I suppose we can," said the girl in the white coat. "Give up. Great. Glad we had this talk."

"Well no...not like that..." said Yui with an exasperated smile. Her expression became serious as the black suits moved to block the door.

_BOOM!_

Yui yelped as the floor shook from Chitoge's stomp. The black suits stopped, distracted, allowing Raku and Kosaki to run past.

"Ah! Wait!"

"Let's go, Onodera!" said Raku. The first-year students moved out of the way as Raku and Kosaki ran into the hall.

"After them!" yelled the girl.

_BOOM!_

Another stomp. Chitoge was now in front of the door. The black suits stepped back cautiously as Chitoge glared at them with blazing eyes.

"I told you before. If you lay one finger on my friends, I won't let you off," said Chitoge, her hair bristling.

"HAAHHH!? IS THAT RIGHT!?" said the girl, smirking. "And you think you can take us all on?"

"Heh! There's no way I'm going to lose to a washboard brat and her brainless muscleheads," said Chitoge, tightening the red ribbon in her hair.

"W-WASHBOARD!? You...!" said the girl, chewing her thumbnail angrily. "SHIELD OF FALSE LOVE! GET THAT FOREIGNER WITH USELESS MEAT, RIGHT NOW!"

As the black suits charged at Chitoge, someone jumped down in front of her from the upper floor. A person wearing a boy's uniform but possessing a body that was surely female whipped two pistols from the inside of her blazer and pointed them at the black suits.

"Ojou. I apologize for being late."


	6. A Night with Tsugumi

**The Plan**

_Part Six  
_

* * *

Tsugumi Seishirou did not have a good night. It had all started during the weekend when her phone had buzzed on her table.

"Hm? A message from Onodera-sama?"

Tsugumi had opened the message without any precaution. However, that had turned out to be her greatest mistake. For the next several hours, Tsugumi had sat at her table, watching videos of cute cats doing cute things.

"Hawawawa..."

Tsugumi trembled with all of the new feelings rising inside her. Raised as a hitman and having served Kirisaki Chitoge all this time as her bodyguard, Tsugumi had lived a life of violence and dark days. But watching these cats sleep inside a pillow, peeking out and tilting their heads slightly when the camera came close—

It was like a shell had crumbled away. Tsugumi felt like a vulnerable calf that had just been born. Everything she had taken for granted was now in a new light.

Wow! This apartment that she was living in was actually much nicer than she thought. Even though she paid 200,000 yen per month for the accommodations, it actually wasn't that much of a rip-off! It had a bathroom and a kitchen after all! Even if the actual square footage was not much larger than a room at the Beehive mansion, even if the sink kept leaking and the damn plumber never left his card so that she could call back and tell him he did everything wrong—

...

What a nice phone! It had email and 2 free GB of data included with the plan! Oh and look at her futon! So flat and soft. And that half-eaten plate of curry! You couldn't get much better than pre-packaged roux cubes!

_What am I doing?_

That was the thought that came to Tsugumi two hours later as she realized that she was dancing around with her pillow. Blushing red, she hastily dropped the pillow and tried to regain control of herself.

The glow of carefree happiness from the cat videos had started to wear off. It wasn't that she didn't still enjoy them, but watching anything for over five hours would be enough to desensitize anyone. She sighed, feeling a little empty inside after having been so full of joy and warmth.

However, perhaps it had been for the best. It was the dead of the night and if she didn't go to sleep soon, she wouldn't be able to walk in the morning with Chitoge. Of course, Ichijou Raku walked in the mornings with her as a proper boyfriend should, but she couldn't count on that fool to protect her mistress.

But then again...he had proven to be more reliable lately. Such as during the Seccaccino mission on the cruise ship...

_You don't need a reason to risk your life for a woman, if you're a man._

Even though that day had been an embarrassing hell, where her body was put at stake more times than her life, it had also become a kind of cherished memory for her. Believed to be a boy even by the person that had raised her, Tsugumi had never felt the need to be more feminine. Even though Chitoge and Kosaki were always telling that she possessed a lot of feminine charm, that day on the cruise ship had been the first time that she had become aware of her own attractiveness. Compliments had come from all of the passengers, men and women alike, people who were beautiful and rich. Thinking back, the day when she had worn a dress to chase Ichijou Raku all over town had also held a similar vibe...

_No, this is just the cat videos talking!_ thought Tsugumi, shaking her head. Indeed, the optimistic effects of the cat videos were putting strange thoughts into her head. Why would anyone find someone like her, with her masculine way of talking and lack of feminine grace, attractive? Compared to Chitoge or Kosaki...perhaps even Tachibana Marik—

No, not that woman. Never that woman.

_If you ask me, it's a real waste. You're plenty cute._

Tsugumi smashed her head against the wall. What was she thinking!? How long ago had Ichijou Raku said those words!? And not to mention that he had probably been joking! There was no way she could trust anything he said. After all, even with someone as wonderful as Chitoge beside him, that fool still dared mess around with the likes of Tachibana Marika!

Yes, she had to remember that Ichijou Raku was the worst kind of human being. A wimpy beansprout man that didn't even take his relationship with Kirisaki Chitoge properly.

At least...that was what she had thought. But lately, she had found herself being less irritated with him. In fact, he had even come to her for love advice once.

"...Love, huh?"

Tsugumi flopped down on her futon and sighed. Love. It was still something that she didn't quite understand. But Ichijou Raku had told her that she seemed to have a good hang of it. And the feelings she had felt when under that love drug...

It had felt familiar. And she knew why it felt familiar. Feelings like then always seemed to come up whenever she spent time with Ichijou Raku. A warm feeling, but not like the way the cats had made her feel; something stronger and more intense, a feeling that sometimes made her chest ache.

The question that she had asked herself countless times—

Did this mean that she was in love with Ichijou Raku?

Tsugumi covered her eyes with her wrists. No, none of that mattered. Ichijou Raku was Chitoge's boyfriend. She had no business feeling anything for him. Even if it was actually love that she was feeling, she couldn't act on it. No matter the scandalous thoughts that filled her mind; plans of a secret affair; acceptance from Chitoge and a happy life together; perhaps even becoming Ichijou Raku's mistress...

"GYAAAAHH!"

Tsugumi sat straight up. No, no! NO! She had to get these disgusting thoughts out of her mind! To think that even for a minute, she'd consider betraying Chitoge's trust—

If this truly was what love did to a person then it wasn't something she, a proud bodyguard of the Beehive family, needed!

Yes. She had to dispel these thoughts. Tsugumi got up and began rummaging around the room. She had left it here somewhere...she was sure that she still had it...

"Here we are..."

A photo of Ichijou Raku. She had used this for target practice a while ago. Tsugumi smiled and pasted it on the wall with a bit of tape. Shooting Ichijou Raku's irritating mug would be a good way to vent. Then she could go to bed peacefully and wake up in time to escort Chitoge to school.

Not wanting to wake up Paula, who was sleeping nearby, Tsugumi opted to use a toy gun with foam darts instead. Not that it was accurate to what a real gun was like; but Tsugumi still went through the same procedures she did with live weapons. Practice did make perfect after all.

She took a deep breath and let it out. When firing a gun, being able to control your breathing was important. Too erratic and your aim would be off. Just as important was taking the right stance; contrary to popular belief, just having the right stance would be enough to handle the recoil from even a shotgun, single-handed. Tsugumi took another breath, trying to match her timing with her exhale.

Finally, her mind cleared of needless thoughts. She was calm and focused. This was the quality of a professional hitman. She took aim with both hands at Ichijou Raku's face.

_Poomf!_

The foam dart hit the target spot-on.

Which had apparently been 5 inches to the right of Ichijou Raku's photo.

"Hmm!?"

Tsugumi couldn't believe it. She had taken a shot like this thousands of times. From this distance, with this much setup time, it was child's play! She could've fired this shot in her sleep, literally!

"Ah..."

Of course. Sleep! Although she might not have felt like it, her body was tired. And watching cat videos in the dark for all those hours...her eyes were probably a mess. She plucked the dart off the wall and reloaded her gun.

Right, that had to be it. Tsugumi rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple times to make sure her vision was clear. _Okay. Everything's fine now. I won't miss this time!_

Tsugumi missed again.

"H-How can this be...?" said Tsugumi, plucking the dart again. This miss had been even worse, veering ten full inches to the left of Ichijou Raku. Her face screwed up with shame and confusion as she reloaded the gun.

"Once more..."

The dart missed again.

"This time for sure..."

The dart stuck into the ceiling.

"Why!?"

Tsugumi fired the toy gun over and over. And still she missed, missed, missed! Just to test if her aim was off, Tsugumi tried firing at a different target. There! The cup with the heart shape icon that Chitoge had bought for her.

_Poomf!_

This time, the dart hit exactly on target. In fact, the shot was so perfect that the visible outer edges of the heart were perfectly symmetrical to each other. Tsugumi felt her face turning red for some inexplicable reason. She snatched the dart off the cup and fired again at the photo.

Miss. Miss. Miss.

Hit. Hit. Hit.

Miss! Miss!

Hit! Hit!

"GAAAHH!" screamed Tsugumi as she missed Ichijou Raku for the 300th time that night. Why? Why could she hit everything but Ichijou Raku's face!? Filled with anger instead of shame now, Tsugumi stomped right up to the photo and jammed the gun on it, point-blank.

_I can't miss. I can't miss this time_, thought Tsugumi, her finger on the trigger. She didn't even bother trying to control her breathing or taking a stance. At this point, all that mattered was that her dart hit Ichijou Raku's photograph. Because if it didn't, if she couldn't hit just this object, then it meant...it meant...

_I'm...with Ichijou Raku..._

Tsugumi squeezed her eyes shut.

_Please. Please hit. I have to shoot. I have to shoot and hit_—

But Tsugumi's finger didn't move. Tsugumi opened her eyes in shock.

And right in front of her was Ichijou Raku's face.

Her face exploded into a scarlet burn. She backed away, unintelligible squeaks issuing from her mouth.

No! No!

It couldn't be true!

It just couldn't be true!

"WAAHH! WAAHH!"

"Black Tiger. What's wrong?"

Tsugumi froze like a deer in headlights. Her neck creaked as she slowly turned her head.

Paula was standing behind her.

"P-Paula—"

"What are you doing this late at night?" asked Paula. She rubbed her eyes sleepily with one hand, the other hugging a large pillow to her chest.

"N-Nothing. It's nothing, Paula!"

"Eh? What are you talking abo—" As Paula's sleepy eyes scanned the room, they came to a stop at the photograph of Ichijou Raku on the wall.

"Ah...!" Instantly, a knowing smile grew on Paula's face.

"P-P-Paula," said Tsugumi, already aware of how this seemed. "Paula, this isn't what you think!"

"Hoho...I see, Black Tiger. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," said Paula, slipping back under her covers. Tsugumi jumped at her, alarm bells ringing in her head.

"Paula, this is a misunderstanding!"

"Black Tiger, if you spend all night doing things like that, you won't grow," said Paula, her eyes scrunching up as her smile widened. Tsugumi wanted to die on the spot.

"Paula...if you forget what you saw tonight, I'll buy you whatever snacks you want tomorrow."

Paula's face lit up immediately, but she coughed and turned her head to hide it.

"Well...if that's what you want, Black Tiger. I suppose I can do that."

_Oh no. What have I done?_ thought Tsugumi as Paula began listing off all the sweets that she had planned to eat this month. Tsugumi collapsed onto the floor, exhausted. With Paula's voice chattering in the background, Tsugumi looked down at the toy gun that was still laying on her hand.

_Damn it...I don't know why I can't shoot him..._

_But at the very least, what I know right now is...  
_

_That I hate you, Ichijou Raku!_


	7. Mayhem 2

**The Plan**

_Part Seven  
_

* * *

Onodera Haru did not talk to Paula McCoy often. Although she wanted to be her friend and they had spent a few moments together, they weren't yet at the stage where they could be considered good friends. Still, Onodera Haru really wanted to get along with Paula and made an effort to greet her every morning and make small talk.

Perhaps this was what prompted Paula to make her move. Or perhaps it was just the fact that Onodera Haru and her friend Fuu had been the closest people around. Having happily been going over the list of sweets that Black Tiger now owed her, Paula's reaction had been painfully slow, slow enough that it shamed her occupation as a professional hitman. But even then, she had been able to see the signs of the ceiling collapse and warn everyone in time.

"GET OUT! NOW! DON'T STOP, JUST MOVE! GET OUT OF YOUR SEATS!"

But perhaps we could say that Paula McCoy did have some sort of acknowledgement for Onodera Haru. That is because the split-second from the warning's end and the collapse of the ceiling was not enough time for Paula to assess the situation. Although she usually worked alone, even Paula knew that being a professional hitman also meant that you needed to minimize casualties on your allied side. However, Paula McCoy's instincts had not lead her to those closest to the ceiling's collapse. It had not targeted those who had moved slowly or those that were frail. Instead, she had automatically, reflexively, unconsciously grabbed Onodera Haru and Fuu's hand.

Even though they were not the closest to the collision area. Even though they would've likely just been hit by a few stray pieces of plaster. Even then, Paula McCoy snatched the two girls up and whirled away.

'WAHH!"

Never before had Onodera Haru felt her body move so quickly. In the blink of an eye, she moved from her desk to the front of the classroom. Her hand could barely keep hold on the love letter that she had been inspecting. As she came to a stop, an enormous crashing sound came from the classroom.

"Wha-!?"

The escaped students looked at the scene before them. A giant golden statue was standing in the front of the classroom, looking vaguely familiar except for the odd choice in the head area.

"What's going on?" said Haru, trying to look into the classroom like all of the other students. "Ah..."

And there he was. Ichijou Raku. Haru felt her worry and anxiety dispel in an instant. Of course. If this person was involved then it was likely just another one of those crazy events that happened daily around him.

"Ichijou-senpai is in the middle of something weird again," said Haru with an exasperated expression as black suits began pouring down from the ceiling.

"He gets involved with some incredible stuff, doesn't he, Haru?" said Fuu-chan, trying to peek over the shoulder of a tall student.

"No kidding," said Haru, sighing. "Anyways, thanks a lot Paula-sa-"

Haru felt her heart freeze over. Something was missing from her hands. She looked down and saw that the letter had disappeared.

"Well, I did save your life. Feel free to praise me more," said Paula, feeling extremely proud of herself. "And if you want, you could pay me back with some sweets late-"

Paula blinked. Wait a second...hadn't she been standing here just a second ago? Where was Onodera Haru?

"Oh no!" said Haru, running down the hall. Somehow, the love letter had come free from her grip and floated away. Paula McCoy couldn't help but feel impressed; to think that a normal girl could escape from her sight with such ease.

"Ah...Haru! Where are you going?" said Fuu-chan, realizing that Haru had vanished. She stepped back to look down the hall when, suddenly, something bumped into her and made her trip onto the floor.

"Let's go, Onodera!"

Ichijou Raku ran out of the room while carrying Tachibana Marika, with Onodera Kosaki right behind.

* * *

"Ojou, I apologize for being late."

Tsugumi sighed inwardly with relief that she had made it on time. Paula had kept her up even longer last night with her evergrowing list of sweets. Tsugumi had only woken up because Claude had messaged her to ask if any incidents had occurred while escorting Chitoge this morning.

"Please forgive me for leaving you unattended this morning, Ojou. I have no excuse."

"Tsugumi! I knew you'd make it!" said Chitoge, smiling. As the daughter of the Beehive Gang's leader, Chitoge had been watched and protected by guards since birth. Even though Tsugumi had been late this morning, Chitoge had believed that her best friend would arrive on time to help her.

"What!? The bodyguard!?" said the girl, her mouth wide open in shock. "What happened!? She was supposed to be incapacitated today!"

"I sent the cat video like you said, boss," said one of the black suits, pulling out his phone for confirmation. "I even used spoofing to put Ichijou Raku's name on the message."

"Let me see that," said the girl. She snatched the phone from the black suit and began perusing the message. "...You idiot! This doesn't say Ichijou Raku! This says Onodera Kosaki!"

"Oh."

"You useless moron! She'll only be a worrying wreck if it's from Ichijou Raku!" said the girl, throwing the phone at the black suit's head. Too far away to hear their conversation, Tsugumi and Chitoge watched with puzzled expressions.

"No matter," said the girl, taking a breath to calm herself down. "It's just a minor annoyance. Even with the bodyguard, they can't take all of us on!"

At those words, a white blur crashed into the classroom, showering glass fragments on the black suits. Dusting the glass from his impeccable white suit, the silver-haired man with sharp eyes hidden behind square frames stood in between Chitoge and the black suits.

"C-Claude!?"

"Claude-sama!"

"I have arrived, Ojou," said Claude, adjusting his glasses with a finger. "Please excuse me for the delay."

"WHAT!?" shouted the girl, her face looking like it was about to explode. "WHY IS _HE_ HERE!?"

"I don't know! We sent two hundred of our reserve men to attack him at the convenience store, boss!" said a black suit, looking equally surprised.

"Hmph! As if those small fry could keep me from Ojou," said Claude. He turned and held a plastic bag up to Chitoge. "Incidentally Ojou, today's dinner will be Hamburg steak."

"Yay! I love Hamburg steak."

"I love Hamburg steak too!" said one of the black suits. The girl with the lab coat smacked him in the face.

"THIS DOESN'T CHANGE A THING!" roared the girl, her lip trembling. "Do you understand!? Nothing that you do will change the outcome in any way-"

The girl's jaw dropped as Chitoge, Claude, and Tsugumi instantly knocked out the group of black suits that had been tiptoeing around the walls to ambush them.

"Huh? Did you say something? I couldn't hear."

"Khhh...grrr," growled the girl, her eyes bulging with anger. "FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY! I didn't want to resort to this, but you leave me no choice! Black suit #459! Show them what you're made of!"

One of the black suits nodded and stepped forward. With a few quick movements, he quickly unbuttoned his jacket and shirt and cast them aside. Hidden underneath was an impossible body, massive and rippling with hard muscles. Just looking at that chiseled figure was enough to recognize the dozens of years that must've been spent building and polishing that body. The muscled man stepped forward and flexed, deep lines etched into every bulging rock in his skin.

"EWW! So gross!" said Chitoge, her face turning green.

"W-What a disgusting amount of muscle," said Tsugumi, putting a hand over her mouth. "Claude-sama, this man-"

"Hmph. Not bad," said Claude, looking approvingly at the man. "I am impressed. To think that someone of your caliber would appear here."

"Huh!?" said Chitoge, trying to cover her eyes.

"Very well. Allow me to share with you my own resolve!" said Claude. He stepped forward and whipped his own jacket and shirt off in an instance. An equally, if not more rugged body appeared, the muscles pulsing as Claude flexed. Chitoge and Tsugumi couldn't resist slapping their palms onto their faces.

"Hmph. You, small man," said the muscled henchman, flexing harder.

"What was that? Don't get cocky just because I gave you a little credit, you punk. You're still a thousand years too early to try and fight with the Beehive Gang," said Claude, his glasses flashing. The two muscular men stepped up to each other until their faces were just inches away.

"Claude..." said Chitoge, feeling a little nauseous.

"Ojou. Please leave this man to me. He is not worth scuffing your fingernails for," said Claude, a vein pulsing in his brow.

"Big talk. For wimpy nobody," said the muscled henchman, tilting his chin up.

"Alright, forget that guy, Tsugumi. Let's take care of the rest," said Chitoge, turning away from the repellent macho fight.

"Ojou, allow me to take care of the-"

"We're going to do this together, Tsugumi. That's final. Now, where's that annoying brat? I need to punch her face in!"

Chitoge walked around the muscled men and to the front of the classroom.

But there was nobody there.

"Ah..." said both Tsugumi and Chitoge.

"WAHAHAHA! IDIOTS! IDIOTS! YOU THINK I'D JUST STAND THERE WHILE YOU WERE ALL DISTRACTED!?"

The labcoat girl's voice could be heard echoing from the hall.

* * *

_**A/N: **Grooovin' magic!  
_


	8. Escape!

**The Plan**

_Part Eight  
_

* * *

"WAHAHA! There's no way they can catch up to us now! The Shield of False Love has won today! We'll reach that Ichijou brat in no ti-"

The girl in the labcoat tripped over a foot that had been put out in her way. As she rolled onto the ground, she saw Kanakura Yui's smiling face.

"YOU-BOBOOJKDSFKJFALMO-"

Her face skidded into the floor as the black suits behind her also tripped and collapsed onto her.

"Good job seeing through them, Ie," said Yui, patting Ie on the head. A faint blush appeared on the doll-like bodyguard's face.

"Tch! I was wondering where you disappeared off to," said the girl, popping out of the pile of black suits. "But don't think I can't handle you!"

The girl brought a remote with a big red button out from her labcoat.

Ie instantly kicked the remote out of her hands.

"WAH!"

"I've got it!" said Yui, running over to the remote. A black suit jumped up to tackle her.

"Ah. No violence," said Yui, giving the black suit a sweet wink. The black suit came to a stop, blushing and fidgeting like a little girl.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GRAB THAT REMOTE RIGHT NOW!"

Yui bent down and snatched the remote just before a group of black suits fruitlessly slid past her. She waved the remote at the girl in the labcoat.

"Now, can we talk this through instead of fighting-"

The girl in the labcoat threw her shoe at the remote. It spun out of Yui's hands and landed face down on the ground, depressing the button-

And a giant robot crashed through the wall into the school!

"HAH! That's what you get for being a goodie-two-shoes! FACE MY GREATEST CREATION, THE GIANT ROBOT WITH ONE CLAW AND ONE NORMAL HAND!"

The robot with one claw and one normal hand rolled up to the girl in the labcoat with treads that would've fit on a tank. She hopped on top of it and leered at Yui.

"Wahaha! What will you do now, Don of Char Siu!? Even you can't contend with a giant robot!"

"Mmm...this really is a pickle," said Yui, still smiling. She lifted her hand and waved at something behind the robot. "Chitoge! Tsugumi! You should take the stairs on the other side of the hall!"

"What!?" said the girl, turning around. Chitoge and Tsugumi waved back and began running in the opposite direction. "STOP RIGHT THERE OR I'LL-"

Yui kicked the labcoat girl's shoe in front of the robot. The robot rolled onto it and tripped.

"WAHHH!"

The robot fell forward with a great crash. For the second time that day, the labcoat girl rolled and smacked her face into the ground.

"Grrr...I'll get you for this, Char Siu!" said the labcoat girl, raising her head. But she stopped as cold metal touched her cheek.

"I suggest you stay still, little girl," said Paula, her pistol pointed at the labcoat girl.

"Who are you calling little girl!?" said the labcoat girl, swatting the pistol away.

"Wha-!?"

"GO! After them, you fools!" shouted the labcoat girl. The black suits who had slid past Yui saluted and began running towards the stairs.

"Ah! Ie-"

But as Ie tried to move, the claw from the robot with one claw and one normal hand grabbed onto her leg.

"Each and every one of you, making fun of me!" said the labcoat girl, puffing her cheeks. She was holding another remote that she had pulled out of her labcoat. "Well, let me show you my true power! Then you'll be sorry!"

She pressed the button on the remote. The robot's chest opened up, revealing a red timer that was ticking down.

"What!? That can't be-" said Paula, her eyes widening.

"A bomb!?" said Yui, her face finally turning serious.

"Everyone! Get out of this hallway, right now!" yelled Yui. Having seen the results of the earlier warning, the students had no hesitation this time as they ran back from the scene. The timer on the robot turned to zero.

Ie kicked the claw to release its grip from her leg and then jumped from the claw to shield Yui. Paula dashed back like a laser, her red scarf swirling around her.

Then the robot stood straight, rockets coming out of its legs. It launched straight into the ceiling, blasting up into the upper floors.

"HAHHHH! FELL FOR IT AGAIINNN!" said the labcoat girl's annoying voice. "IIDDIOO-OW! OW! OW!"

Sweatdrops appeared on Paula and Yui as debris from the ceilings whacked the labcoat girl's head. They both sighed in exasperation and then looked at the remaining black suits.

"Uhh..." said the black suits, also surprised at the sudden change in events. "...We gotta go."

The remaining black suits zipped away towards the stairs.

* * *

Meanwhile, a few floors up the school-

"Ok. I think we'll be safe here, Onodera."

The two of them were hiding in the space below the stairway. They were both dead tired. Although they had been able to hide safely in a room earlier, the black suits had somehow sniffed them out. Then, a giant robot had suddenly blasted through the floor. Luckily, the robot hadn't seemed to notice them, but Raku and Kosaki had ran away just in case. Raku was especially tired, having carried Marika the entire way.

"Are you ok, Onodera?" asked Raku, panting.

"I'm fine," said Kosaki, sitting down to catch her breath.

"Good," said Raku. He put his hand in his pocket and fished around for his cell phone.

"Do you think Chitoge-chan and Kanakura-sensei are ok?" said Kosaki.

"They'll be fine," said Raku confidently. "I'm sure that Tsugumi and Claude were watching after her. They're probably down there protecting her right now. And Yui has Ie looking after her."

"Oh! That's right," said Kosaki, feeling relieved. "I'm so glad. I was really worried when we ran out of there..."

Although Raku didn't say it aloud, he was pretty sure that Chitoge would been fine even if Tsugumi and Claude didn't arrive. That gorilla strength and vitality wasn't something to take lightly. So right now, Chitoge wasn't something he needed to worry about. The big problem was Onodera.

"Ichijou-kun? Who are you calling?" asked Kosaki as Raku dialed a number on his phone.

"Someone who can help," said Raku. After three dial tones, there was a click in the speaker. "Hello? Ryuu?"

"Oh, Bocchan! How are you! Hm? Wait, aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"

"That's...right now's not a good time for class. I need your help, Ryuu."

"What can I do for you, Bocchan? Oh...could it be you're looking for some love advice with your girlfriend? Our Bocchan has grown up so quickly, boo hoo hoo!"

"No...that's not it, Ryuu," said Raku, making a strained face. "There's a crisis happening at school right now."

"A crisis? What do you mean, Bocchan?"

"We're being attacked by a bunch of black suits and a little girl in a labcoat."

"Huh? Black suits and a little girl? What are you talking about, Boccha-"

"Ryuu, listen to me. I know it sounds crazy, but right now...I'm in a situation where I can't protect the people important to me by myself. But even then, I need to. I definitely can't fail here!"

Kosaki saw Raku's grip on the phone tighten. His face looked so painful and filled with anxiety. _Ichijou-kun..._

"Bocchan..."

"So please, Ryuu. Lend me your strength. I need you guys, right now."

There was silence on the phone. It lasted so long that Raku had to check to make sure his batteries hadn't run out or his phone had disconnected.

"Ryuu? Are you there, Ryuu?"

"...Bocchan. Don't worry. We'll be there."

"Ryuu!" said Raku, his eyes brimming with gratitude.

"GET THAT TANK WE STOLE FROM THE BEEHIVES READY, YOU GUYS!" There was a loud roar from the phone and the sound of dozens of men marching around.

"R-Ryuu!? What do you mean tank-"

"Don't worry, Bocchan! You've put your trust in us! We won't fail you!"

"W-Wait! Ryuu! Ryuu?"

The call ended. Raku and Kosaki stared at the phone.

"Uh...Ichijou-kun..." said Kosaki, the fact that she had just heard a yakuza organization mobilizing a tank still processing in her mind.

"M-Maybe we should get to higher ground, Onodera," said Raku, forcing a smile on his face.

"Ah."

"Hm?"

"Eh?"

Raku and Kosaki turned towards the sound they had just heard. A black suit was staring at them from the hallway.

"..."

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!" said the black suit, jumping towards them. Raku jumped in front of Kosaki as she cried out, his arm stretched out to protect her from the black suit's assault-

_WHAM!_

Miyamoto Ruri dove into the air, landing a leaping sidekick on the black suit. The black suit went flying away, tumbling a couple times on the ground, completely knocked out.

"R-Ruri-chan!"

"Miyamoto!"

"Kosaki. Ichijou-kun. We need to hurry and get away from here," said Ruri, grabbing Kosaki's hand and pulling her. "That ridiculous giant robot is on the floor above."

"W-What!? No way..." said Raku, fear gripping him. There were black suits coming up the stairs and the robot was above them. There was nowhere to escape.

"Hurry. Get into this room," said Ruri, barging into one of the classrooms.

"What are you doing, Miyamoto? If we go in there, we'll just be cornere-"

"Don't worry, Raku~ I know a way out of here."

Raku stopped as he heard that voice. A voice that he never thought he'd be so glad to hear.

"Shu!"

Maiko Shu waved at him from inside the classroom.

* * *

_**A/N: **Brofist!_


	9. Ruri's Day Off

**The Plan**

_Part Nine  
_

* * *

In general, Miyamoto Ruri was expressionless. It was not that she did not have emotions; Ruri felt happiness, sadness, irritation, and sometimes even an almost god-like disdain for certain individuals. It was simply that she did not find many reasons to linger on them. If there was no reason for her to be happy, then there was no need for her to seem happy. If there was no reason for her to be depressed, then there was no need for her to seem depressed.

Perhaps Miyamoto Ruri, while certainly having emotions, did not understand them very well. She could not understand what made her best friend, Onodera Kosaki, hold such affection for Ichijou Raku. She also could not understand why they could not see what she saw, an aura of mutual feelings that poked clumsily at one another and missed every single time.

It was all supposed to be love. She knew that. She knew what it looked like. Tachibana Marika professed it every single moment she saw that beansprout boy. And even though she may not have completely connected the dots, Miyamoto Ruri had noticed the softening stance of Tsugumi Seishirou and the fake relationship that did not seem so fake anymore with Kirisaki Chitoge.

She knew what love was. But she could not understand it. She could not understand why these people were so roundabout, why they couldn't muster a single instant of courage to grab what they desired most in the world. What was stopping them? Nothing. What was blinding them? Nothing.

But they all did it. These feelings were running rampant in the air, but they could not seem to meet. It was as if they were separated not by location, but dimensions.

As a result, Miyamoto Ruri did not understand why she felt a pang in her chest, for just a split second. An ache that both hurt and felt good. It was a feeling that she was so unfamiliar with that it was overwhelmed. It vanished underneath the more familiar feelings that arose whenever this person showed up.

"Ruri-chan~!"

A look of intense disgust. Miyamoto Ruri could have wilted flowers with that sort of expression. It appeared automatically on her face, so quickly that it was as if her facial muscles had been born to flex this way.

Maiko Shu.

A person that could easily be called scum of the Earth. A fanciful pervert with too much freedom in his free-spiritedness. He was someone that irritated Ruri simply by being in her presence. Lately, that irritation seemed to have doubled in intensity.

So Ruri did not even answer back. She completely ignored Maiko Shu and continued making her way through the shopping district. It was a rare day off and she had decided to look at some new frames for her glasses, which were starting to have loose hinges. Although Kosaki had offered to come with her, Ruri knew that she wouldn't be able to. After all, she had made a call just the night before to Ichijou Raku and told him that Kosaki needed his help again at the store. Yes, perhaps this was a little sly, but if Kosaki had free time then why not use that in a productive way?

"Ara~ Ruri-chan! Perhaps you didn't hear me? It's me, your friend who is bonded to you through the power of glasses, Maiko Shu!"

A vein throbbed in Ruri's temple.

_Ignore him. If you answer, you'll only get caught up in his pace,_ thought Ruri, trying to calm down. She increased the pace of her walking and tried to put distance between her and Shu. The aching in her heart was more apparent now. Or rather, it was no longer an ache, but a very strange feeling.

Guilt? No, not that. Shame? No, what would she be ashamed of right now? No, it was a feeling that she rarely felt. But its potency could not be misidentified.

Embarrassment?

She was feeling embarrassed? Why?

No, no. That wasn't the problem here. The problem was why she even considered that to be a valid question. Of course she would feel embarrassed. This damn pervert was following her and yelling her name all through the shopping district. It was only natural that she'd feel this way. That was it. Nothing more.

However, a small portion of Ruri was frustrated. That answer felt crooked, as if it was only partially correct. But Ruri waved away the thoughts. It didn't matter. Today was a rare day off. She wouldn't let someone like Maiko Shu spoil it.

"Ara? Where did she go? Ruri-chan~!"

Maiko Shu dove back into the crowd to try and find the missing Ruri. Ruri sighed in relief and crept out of her hiding place behind a nearby bush. Stooping to this kind of thing...even if that person was one of the most detestable creatures on the face of the planet, it still felt like an overreaction.

Ruri shook her head. No, this was fine. An overreaction was fine. Giving Maiko Shu a single step in would just cause a chain reaction. He could cling harder than a baby missing its mother. She had made the right choice.

Finally feeling a bit calmer, Ruri made her way to the glasses store. Looking around and seeing no Shu within the vicinity, Ruri picked a safe corner to browse and began examining frames. Due to her terrible eyesight, Ruri wasn't going to take off her glasses until the last possible second. She looked at some red frames and bent the handles back to test its flexibility. Not bad, but perhaps a different color...

"Here you go."

"Ah. Thank you, Maiko-kun." Ruri examined the frames. A nice sky blue. It wasn't what she usually wore, but it didn't look too bad...

Ruri swung her fist so hard that a rain of glasses frames blew off their displays. Shu stood in a pose that would've made a yoga master proud, the smoking fist having just missed his abdomen.

"Hehe...Ruri-chan, don't you think that was a little extreme?"

"W-What?" said Ruri, her face reddening. Extreme? That had been extreme? Well...looking at the mess she had made, perhaps it had been. But why? Certainly, Ruri took shots at Maiko Shu all the time, but they were usually restrained. Usually. This time, she hadn't even thought about controlling her strength. "I..."

All of the people in the store were looking at her. Ruri's blush deepened and she walked over to the shop owner to apologize.

"You're so energetic in public, Ruri-chan," said Shu, grinning cheerfully as always. Ruri clicked her teeth. Of all days for her to meet this guy...

"Maiko-kun. I will say this straight to you so that we can get this over with. You are being a pest. I do not want to associate with you today," said Ruri, staring daggers at the cat-faced boy.

"Ah~isn't it fine, Ruri-chan? We share a special bond as glasses buddies after all."

"That again...? What exactly are you trying to say, Maiko-kun? We are classmates at best and eternal enemies at worst," said Ruri, her eyes dead and soulless.

"R-Ruri-chan...you're making quite the scary face there..."

"In any case, please stop following me," said Ruri, turning back to the frames.

"Eh~? I'm not following you though..."

"Hah? You were trying to find me earlier, weren't you?"

"Oh! So you did notice me. You're such a meanie, Ruri-chan~"

A rare flustered expression appeared on Ruri's face. No good. She was getting dragged into his pace. At this rate, this pervert would wind up tagging along with her and she'd be forced to deal with him for the rest of the day. Massaging her suddenly tired eyes, Ruri tried to think this situation through. Ignoring him wouldn't work. Maiko Shu could be unexpectedly persistent. She could already imagine him bouncing around her, prodding for attention. He was like an annoying pet that did whatever it wanted.

In that case, she would have to put up with him in this store at least. Then she would move to a different location while ignoring him. It would undoubtedly be embarrassing, but even someone like Maiko Shu would get tired of just chasing after someone for no reason. If it was Ichijou chasing after Kosaki, he would surely become lifeless and depressed. Honestly, how could two supposedly best friends be so different from each other?

_Eh? Wait...Ichijou? Why am I thinking about him right now?_

Again. These thoughts were popping up again. She shook her head and tried to focus on finding good frames. Ichijou chasing after Kosaki...why had she even made that kind of comparison? Yes, certainly, Ichijou would be depressed. But that was only because he liked Kosaki, as much as he tried to hide it. It made sense that you'd get depressed if the one you liked ignored you. She had seen Kosaki run into that misunderstanding plenty of times. But it didn't apply here. After all, Maiko Shu didn't like her. And she certainly did not like him. There would be no reason for Maiko Shu to become depressed, especially considering how freely he seemed to act without caring about others.

_No...that's wrong._

The photograph of her and her grandfather came to mind. And the time that Maiko Shu had stopped her from revealing Kosaki's feelings to Ichijou. He had even been surprisingly considerate with the one girl that had confessed to him. Yes, even though Maiko Shu acted as he did, he certainly still was aware of those around him. It irritated her more than anything else to admit this, but Maiko Shu may be more considerate of others than anyone else she knew.

_Miyamoto, what do you want to do?_

_Just ask for my help if there's anything you want to do, Miyamoto! I'll help you with anything. Whatever you want, just say it._

Even though it wasn't any of his business, even though he didn't know any of the feelings that were going through her, he had still tried to help. He had still extended his hand to her. Ichijou Raku. The boy that Onodera Kosaki loved. A nosy, dense, no-good idiot that made her head ache sometimes.

But even so...

Ruri looked at the frames she had chosen. Silver, like her old ones had been. She put them on and looked in the mirror. Even though the frames were thin and barely noticeable, it changed her face. Even just 10% of her face...it was like a mask that hid her just a little. But for everyone else, she could see them more clearly. She could see things that others missed or refused to see.

She took off the frames and put them down. Perhaps trying something else would be best. Even though she could see more clearly, nothing came out of it. She couldn't do anything about it. If that was the case, then she'd prefer being covered up completely. She would rather not see what needed to be seen, she would rather others not see about her what she could see. Because in the end, just seeing things didn't make a difference.

_Hm? Maiko-kun has been very quiet. Did he leave the store?_ Ruri gave the store a scan.

He was next to her.

"Gh!"

The small yelp escaped Ruri's mouth. Shu glanced at her with a questioning look.

"W-What are you doing, Maiko-kun...?" said Ruri, her heart beating hard. He had been so quiet that she hadn't even noticed him standing there. What was he planning? Something like this...it was irregular.

"Mm? Yes?" said Shu, still looking puzzled.

"I thought I told you not to follow me," said Ruri, averting her gaze.

"I'm not! Didn't I tell you, Ruri-chan? My frames are getting a little loose," said Shu, holding out his glasses. "I came here to buy some new ones. It looked like you were doing the same thing, so I was thinking we could buy them together."

"H-Hah? Why would we buy them together?"

"Well...we're glasses buddies, after all. I'd ask Raku, but it's not really something he knows too much about, you know? Ruri-chan is my best ally in this kind of situation," said Shu, picking out a thick black frame. "Hmm...I wonder if this would look good on me."

"Glasses buddies..." muttered Ruri. That again. At first she had thought he meant some kind of special relationship just because they both wore glasses. But now, it sounded more like people with the same hobby. For some reason, that kind of reasoning really annoyed her.

"What do you think, Ruri-chan? Which frames do you think would suit me?"

"Why do I have to help you choose-"

Ruri's words stopped in her throat. For first time ever, she saw Maiko Shu's face up close. No glasses. Just Maiko Shu. Nothing covering his face. No mask.

He had that same dumb, nosy, clueless and kind expression as Ichijou Raku. A face that she had seen before...one that had been covered by small spectacles rested on his nose...

"Ruri-chan?"

Leaked out in that photograph because a certain voyeuristic creep had taken it in secret. A feeling that made her heart feel heavy and light at the same time.

Ichijou Raku and Maiko Shu were best friends. They were different, the two of them. Even though they were both useless, no-good excuses for men, you could clearly see who Ichijou Raku was and who Maiko Shu was.

But...

Behind that mask...the one that covered 10% of his face...

"Hmph. You're just like them..."

"Huh? What did you say, Ruri-chan?"

Ruri took the silver frames from earlier and put them on. She turned with a whirl of black hair and faced Maiko Shu.

"Well? What do you think?"

Shu just looked at her for a moment, taken by surprise. But then he leaned forward and examined her face carefully.

"Thin and slender. It makes your face look more mature, but with a little mystery behind it. As expected, these are the frames that fit Ruri-chan best," said Shu with a wide grin. Ruri blushed, but did not remove the frames. She held them firmly against her face as she turned around again.

"Well...I guess this is fine for now," said Ruri with a small smile.

* * *

_**A/N: **10% luck, 20% skill._

_ Also, excuse me for some changes in the way people are referred to. I was trying to keep an omniscient sort of third-person, but it doesn't seem to work well when I'm constantly putting in thoughts for characters. I'll be trying to adjust this accordingly in future chapters.  
_


	10. Escape! 2

**The Plan**

_Part Ten  
_

* * *

During the weekend at a nearby WcDonald's-

"Siiiiiiiighhh..."

"Hm? Black Suit #320. What's wrong?"

"Black Suit #211..." said #320, seeing his coworker approaching. "Yo. How did your interview go?"

"No good," said #211 with a heavy sigh. "This economy just isn't good for young people like us."

"No kidding. I can barely even afford Weekly Shonen Not-Jump," said #320, a depressing black cloud hanging over his head as he waved the thick magazine.

"You're doing ok with your meals though?"

"Yeah, I'm getting by..." said #320, pointing at the ketchup packets he had secretly taken from a leftover tray.

"What have you been eating lately? I'm so sick of instant ramen..."

"Riceballs. My mom sends me a 20kg bag every month and I mix it with ketchup!"

"You eat 20kg of rice every month!?"

"Well...no. I've got some in reserve stock in case I have friends over. You want some?"

"You...You'd share your rice with me, #320?" said #211, tears brimming in his eyes.

"Of course, what else can poor low-rank guys like us share?" said #320, crying at the reality of his statement.

"Hey guys. What's going on?" said Black Suit #15, coming over with a tray filled with fries and burgers.

"Go to hell!"

"Die, you high-ranker!"

"W-What? What did I do!?"

"Go away! Your kind isn't wanted here!"

"Yeah! This seat is saved!" said #211, hugging the stool next to him. "Unless you're going to share fries. In which case, take my seat too!"

"No, take my seat!"

"...You guys really have it hard, huh?"

Fifteen minutes later, the tray was wiped clean and the three black suits were sipping water cups (except for #15, who had a cola).

"Y-You're such a good guy, #15!" said #211, sobbing as he licked the salt off his fingers.

"I haven't had french fries in three years," said #320, his head buried in his arms.

"Sheesh. I knew we switched to a hierarchical wage system to avoid taxes, but I didn't know you guys were suffering so much!"

"It's ok. It's our fault for not climbing the ranks," said #211, sighing. "I haven't done much work in the past year..."

"Weren't you the one that heated up Onodera's side of the bath just a couple weeks ago? That was masterful, you awesome bastard!"

"Talk about it cutting it close! When they went in the bath together, I didn't know what we were going to do. You saved our asses, #211," said #320.

"Well...that wasn't much..." said #211, his ears going red. "The last time I did anything worthwhile was when they were at the beach and I yelled 'Kimchi!'"

"THAT WAS YOU!? Oh my god, you're a legend!" said #15, awestruck.

"You know it! This guy's one of the best if he puts his mind to it!" said #320, slapping #211 in the back.

"F-Forget about me," said #211, embarrassed. "What have you been doing, #320?"

"Siiiiiggghhh..."

"Hm? What's wrong, #320?"

"I haven't really been in the mood to work..." said #320, his face down on the table.

"Why not? Did something happen?" asked #15.

"It's kind of stupid..."

"Come on. You can tell us," said #211, elbowing him. "We're all Black Suits after all."

"Yeah. Comrades through and through! Just tell us what's troubling you."

"...Well. It's about Not-Nisekoi..."

"Oh, I love that manga. Don't you think the faces the mangaka draws are really cute?"

"Yeah, yeah! And they fit the story so perfectly," said #15, nodding. "The character relationships are also really cute!"

"That's it! That's the problem," said #320, smacking the table.

"The faces?"

"No! The characters! Do you know how long this series has been going? Since 2011! It's almost the 3-year anniversary too!"

"Oh yeah...it is getting close," said #211.

"Three years but nothing's happened! I mean...this manga had so many developments in the first year but then everything just went flat! And they kept adding more and more characters but nothing ever happened with them. It's just dragging endlessly!"

"Now, now. Don't you think you're overreacting a little, #320?"

"Yeah, it's not like it's been going nowhere. We've had lots of stuff happening. I mean, the not-pendant isn't being held hostage by that tsundere little sister anymore."

"And we found out there's something stuck in there preventing it from being opened."

"But that didn't change anything!" said #320, flipping through his copy of this week's Not-Jump. "Look at this! A big development like that and it just gets swept under the rug! This is just trolling now! I mean, aren't these people in love? They're wasting their youth! You think they'll have time for love when they're older? No, sir! Hit your third year and its just studying for exams then! Then everyone's off to separate colleges or working and there's no time to do anything!"

"Well...I guess you have a point..."

"We haven't hung out like this in a while, huh?" said #15. The air around the three black suits became a little darker and colder.

"I...I just don't think this is right," said #320, tears rolling down his face. "I love this series, really! I love all of the characters and all the stuff they do. I don't want them to end up like us, stealing ketchup packets from a WcDonald's to season rice with later and going to sleep with just a newspaper to keep you warm at night!"

"And single! Single like all of us are! So bitter that our daily job is to wreck the relationships of a bunch of high schoolers!" said #211, tearing up too.

"D-Damn it. You guys are making me feel awful," said #15, trying to hold back his own tears. "D-Damn it all! Screw it! W-Why won't she return my texts!? I thought we had something!? DIDN'T WE HAVE SOMETHING, HANAZAWA KANA!?"

"Not-Nisekoi needs to speed things up! If not for us, then for the sake of the children!"

"Yeah! They need to experience love before they become old and cynical like we are!"

"Uuuu...sniff...KanaHana..."

"Let's send strongly worded letters to Not-Jump to get our feelings across."

"And then attach those to strongly worded emails to double their effectiveness!"

"W-Wait...this isn't KanaHana's mail address...WHO THE HELL IS HIRANO AYA!?"

"Ok, let's go to my house and get started on those letters," said #320, dragging the crying #15 along to put away the trays.

"Do you have enough room at your house, #320?"

"...No. Can we go to your house, #211?"

"Sure, buddy. I'll even cook you some instant ramen. And I'll cook it in a pot this time instead of in the bag since I'm having guests over."

"You're like a saint," said #320 as the three of them exited the WcDonald's. "But seriously, this manga needs to get its act together, I mean it's got a huge following no-"

_HONKKK!_

"What's that?" said #211 as the black suit trio clamped their hands over their ears.

"Hm? Is that a truck? Why's there a truck honking at us?" said #320, peering out at the road. A giant white Isuzu truck was accelerating towards them. "W-Wait...can't it see us crossing the road? Why's it speeding u-UWAAAHH!"

The three black suits dove away as the truck raced past them and crashed into the WcDonald's.

"W-What the hell!?" said #320, scrambling to his feet. "D-Did that truck just try to hit us!?"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT TRIED TO HIT YOU! IF YOU MEAN TRY TO HIT SOME SENSE INTO YOU!"

A fourth black suit kicked the truck's door open and crawled out.

"B-Black Suit #23!?"

"Hey! What the hell are you doing!? You almost killed us!" said #320.

"I should've killed you! What was that!? Not-Nisekoi needs to speed up!? YOU MORONS! IT'S BECAUSE OF MORONS LIKE YOU THAT GOOD SERIES GET AXED!"

"What did you say!?"

"You guys don't understand a thing! Not enough time for love!? They're in love right now! Now's the only time when they'll be able to have such an easygoing, slow progression to a relationship! When you're old and in a retirement home, which lovey-dovey days do you think you're going to look back on? When you were at work for 10 hours and came back to a horny housewife only to decline because you're too exhausted to get an erection!? Or the days when just sitting next to the girl you liked was enough to make you pass out from a heart attack!?"

"...Both of those sound awful."

"Sitting next to the girl gives you a heart attack? Which century were you born in? Or more like, which fanfiction?"

"Y-You guys! You guys, Hirano Aya just messaged me back! Oh my god, I think I'm in love."

Suddenly, four ringtones started to go off. The black suits held their hands up to excuse themselves and take their calls.

"...You bastards. You better not be talking to my lovely Aya," said #15, glaring at them as he answered his phone.

"Hello?" said the black suits.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!? ICHIJOU RAKU JUST SENT ONODERA KOSAKI A CUTE CAT VIDEO AND NOBODY STOPPED IT!"

The voice blasting from four separate cell phones startled the crowd of people that had come over to check out the burning WcDonald's.

"B-Boss!" said the black suits, hurriedly turning down the volume on their phones.

"Goddamn it, why do I have to handle a bunch of idiots like you!? Do you know what you've done!? HUH!? DO YOU?"

"...Sorry, Boss."

"GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE, PRONTO! We have to go invade Bonyari High School now because of you morons!"

"Don't you think that's a little overboard, Boss...?"

"Overboard!? Who was that? #320? It's because you underestimate cute cat videos that you're just a #320! And your riceballs suck!"

"Ouch," said #211 sympathetically. #320 wilted and shut his mouth.

"Now hurry up! And bring back french fries from WcDonald's!"

"...Yes, Boss."

The four black suits sighed and put away their phones. They looked over at the burning WcDonald's.

"...Crap," said #23. "I didn't have insurance on that truck."

As the black suits left to find another WcDonald's, a certain cat-faced individual slunk back into the crowd, the lens of his camera glinting...

* * *

"You knew about this all along!?" said Raku.

"Fufu, don't underestimate my information network, Raku," said Shu, beaming proudly.

"Why didn't you tell us!?"

"Come on, Raku. Would you believe the words of a couple of random people on the street? Plus, it wasn't like I heard the whole thing. I only had scraps of conversation to work off of," said Shu, trying to look downcast.

_He definitely thought it'd be more fun this way,_ thought Raku.

_This idiot definitely thought it'd be more fun this way,_ thought Ruri.

_It was definitely more fun this way,_ thought Shu.

"Ok, so now what? Didn't you say you know a way to get away from these black suits, Shu?" asked Raku, deciding that Onodera's safety was more important right now.

"Yep! That's exactly it, Raku! You see, even if it were the words of random people on the street, saying that you're going to invade Bonyari High School sounds like a threat. So of course, I needed to take some countermeasures."

"Countermeasures? What do you mean?"

"Ufufu. Tell me, Raku. If you were to escape from this situation right now, where would the safest place be to hide?"

"The safest? Maybe the principal's office...?"

"Don't bother. There are black suits swarming there, just waiting for you," said Shu.

"Uhm...perhaps the cafeteria?" suggested Kosaki.

"Nope! But good thinking, Onodera-san!"

"The roof," said Raku, a lightbulb winking on over his head. "It's locked so no one would expect students to get up there."

"Close, Raku! But the roof is like the backyard of a harem lead."

"Huh!? Harem lead?"

"Why do you think she's been blasting through the floor with a giant robot, Raku? She knows you'll head to the roof eventually so she's trying to corner you up there. Once you get to the roof, there's nowhere to escape."

"I-I see. That makes sense," said Raku, deep in thought. "The classrooms are out, they're too easy to get into...maybe we could go back to Chitoge and Tsugumi...no, but we'd just get in their way...uhm..."

_Ichijou-kun is really thinking hard about this_, thought Kosaki, a little happy at seeing this new side of her crush.

"Ichijou-kun, if you take any longer, the black suits will find us," said Ruri.

"Ah, that's right! Shu, just get to the point!"

"Ah~ fun time's over," said Shu, grinning. "Ok. If you think about it logically, there's only one place that we can hide in complete safety."

"And that's...?" said Raku, unconsciously feeling a little expectant at the answer.

"That is...the roof!"

_Huh?_ thought everyone.

"Shu, didn't you just say the roof is no good?" said Raku, wondering if his best friend was still trying to mess around.

"Fufu, Raku. You were very close. The truth is that the roof is most definitely the worst place you could go to. There's nowhere to hide up there and once you get up there, there's no way to escape."

"So then...why...?"

"And that's exactly the beauty of it! Whoever looks up in the roof won't look very closely. The very fact that it's the worst hiding place means it's also the best!"

"But you just said there's no hiding place up there-"

"Now that's where you're wrong. Like I said before, Raku, I did make countermeasures for this," said Shu, climbing up onto one of the desks. He pulled away a square of the ceiling, revealing a large hole with a ladder inside.

"W-Whaaattt!? What is that!?" said Raku.

"It's an escape route! Me and my crew spent all weekend making it," said Shu victoriously. "Ah, don't worry, I gave an excuse to Yui-sensei for approval."

_Nee-chan, be more careful about what you approve in the school!_

"This will lead right up to a small hidden space _underneath_ the roof. You can get into there from a loose tile, but it's safer going up this way," continued Shu.

"This is..." said Raku, feeling conflicted as he looked up at the escape route. "...It's amazing, in a way."

"We can just hide out here while we wait for everything to wrap up," said Shu, jumping down from the desk. "You called your family to come help out, right Raku?"

"Why are you only helpful during situations like these?" said Raku, grinning.

"Go on up first, Raku. I'll close up when all of us are up there."

"Alright. Let's go, Onodera," said Raku. Kosaki nodded and climbed onto the desk with him.

"And don't look, you pervert," said Ruri, forcing Shu's head away.

"Arara, don't you trust me, Ruri-chan? I thought we got closer last week when we went shopping toge-ow ow ow ow!"

_Good job, Miyamoto!_ thought Raku as he began climbing. Of course, he had to go first so that he wouldn't be looking up Onodera's skirt. He grabbed onto a rung and pulled himself up into the tunnel. There was enough light creeping in from cracks between the floors to see where he was going.

"Can you get up ok, Onodera?" said Raku, looking down.

"Yes," said Kosaki, lifting herself up into the tunnel. Ruri increased the strength of her grip on Shu's head, just in case.

"Shu, we're almost there. You should come up now," said Raku as he felt a slight rush of air. The tunnel was leading into a larger, more open area.

"Don't worry Raku. You see, those guys aren't after us. We'll be fine."

"Huh!?"

"Kosaki. Good luck."

"R-Ruri-chan!?"

And then, the light underneath them vanished as the ceiling tile was put back into place.

"Excuse me, Mr. Black Suits! I heard that Ichijou Raku was going to come here. You should stake this place out for the next hour or so."

"Oh, thank you. You know, it's nice to see upstanding students like you are still around. We need more of your kind in today's society."

_SHUUUUU!_

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Hello everyone, this is HitsintheEye. I think. There's 3 e's, right? In any case, we've hit chapter 10 so thank you to all who have read up to this point! And a double thank you to those that took the time to review, favorite, and/or watch the story! We're keeping at a good pace, so let's keep chugging along! _

_Also, the end of the new Nisekoi...I blacked out from the HNNGGGG._**_  
_**


	11. The Haru Paradox

**The Plan**

_Part Eleven_

* * *

"Alright. Done with my bath."

Onodera Haru walked into her room as she toweled off her steaming hair. She hopped onto her bed and grabbed her phone to check her messages. She sent a "Good night" message to Fuu-chan and then put her phone on silence. She walked back up to her door and looked down the hall. Her sister's door was closed but she could hear her chatting with someone. Probably Ruri-san. She looked down the stairs and made sure that her mom was busy watching primetime television.

Her dad was out on a business trip this weekend. Her computer was turned off. Her window was closed. Now her door was closed. She cleared all her homework and books from her desk and carefully put them into her bag. A clean sheet of notebook paper on the spotless desk and a 0.5mm mechanical pencil. She placed them all in symmetry and then angled her seat so that the paper would be covered by her body from the door.

Taking a deep breath, Haru picked up her pencil and wrote her first words on paper.

_Dear Ichijou-senpai-_

Haru stared at the paper. Her handwriting had become all cute and round. Not to mention that kind of beginning to a letter...it was so cliche and normal, she wanted to die. She crumpled the paper and threw it into her wastebasket.

_Dear Ichijou-senpai-_

Her forehead slammed into the desk.

Tonight, Onodera Haru was writing a love letter to Ichijou Raku.

"I can't do it, Fuu-chan!" said Haru into the phone five minutes later.

"Haru, you need confidence for these sort of things!"

"It's sick. I want to puke just reading this..."

"It can't be that bad. Come on, read to me what you have so far."

"No way!"

"Come on, Haru! You're not going to make any progress if you keep acting like this."

"...I never wanted to make progress in the first place," said Haru, coughing loudly to cover the tremor in her voice.

"...Ehh~ Is that right? So you mean to tell me that you didn't feel depressed today at all?"

"Well..."

"And that you didn't whine and complain about Ichijou-senpai being a dense idiot for five hours today for any good reason? It was just a whim on your part to waste my free time during the weekend?"

"N-No...Fuu-chan..."

"And you don't have any feelings for Ichijou-senpai at all? So you're perfectly fine with him going out with whoever and it's none of your concern who he associates with or what he does with other girls?"

"T-That's completely different! Ichijou-senpai clearly likes my sister, so there's no way I'm going to stand for any womanizing-"

"So if Ichijou-senpai and your sister like each other, then there's no reason for you not to tell them. Since you don't have any feelings for Ichijou-senpai, right Haru? You don't feel anything when you're with him, right~? You're perfectly capable of telling your sister right now and watching with a happy face if she and Ichijou-senpai get together and be all lovey-dovey from now on."

"T-That's...not what I meant..."

Haru covered her face with her arm. Even though Fuu-chan was just on the phone, she couldn't bear to show her face. This shameless face that she had been having more and more often, a face that she had seen frequently on her sister. Bright red, looking as if it was bursting with steam, this sort of shy, clumsy expression that only a lovesick heroine would have...

Haru groaned into her arm. It was almost too much to bear. Her heart was aching at the thought of it, sending shivering pulses through her body. It was as if she was sitting naked at the desk, her body open to anyone's prying eye. She felt vulnerable, completely unguarded; she wanted to roll into a ball and just disappear from the world.

Ichijou Raku. Her upperclassman that was in love with her sister. The Prince that had saved her countless times, the boy that she had found herself falling for even though there were hundreds of reasons for why she shouldn't.

A hopeless love. A failed love. An unrequited love that never bloomed. Never had a chance to bloom. It hurt enough for her to cry. It tickled her enough to laugh and smile. To stroke her softly, slap her violently, kiss her warmly on the cheek.

Haru let out an enormous sigh. She rested her cheek on the desk with the phone next to her ear.

"Dear Ichijou-senpai..."

A snort came from the speaker in her ear.

"Fuu-chan!"

"S-Sorry. Sorry..." The speaker crackled as Fuu-chan tried to hold back her laughter.

"D-Dear Ichijou-senpai," continued Haru, her cheeks blazing. "I-It seems that over the past few months, I've a...acquired some feelings for you. Maybe you could call it something like 'love.' I-I mean, what is 'love' anyways? The dictionary says that 'love' can be written with the kanji for 'ai.' But there's also 'koi' and 'ren'ai.' In the first place, 'love' wasn't a word that existed in the Japanese language, so how can we know that this is truly 'love?' In any case, t-there seems to be some sort of attraction towards you, so I suppose we can call it 'love' for now. Uhm...please go out with me."

For several minutes, only the sound of air rushing through the phone speakers could be heard.

"...Fuu-chan?"

"Haru...That's not a love letter."

"...I know."

And so another ball of paper was thrown into the wastebasket.

"Haru, are you sure that you want to confess to Ichijou-senpai? It doesn't sound like you really want to write this letter."

"O-Of course I don't want to confess to him! I can't believe someone like him was my first love..." said Haru, her face pressed into her desk. "It had to be the guy that Onee-chan liked too..."

"Then why are you trying to write a love letter in the first place?"

Haru kept her face down on the desk. It wasn't like she wanted to confess. There was no need for Ichijou-senpai to know about her feelings. In the first place, this would probably make things awkward between them and make it harder for him to confess to her sister. But Haru didn't know what else to do. Once she had found out about the mutual attraction between Raku and Kosaki, Haru had decided to support her sister and get them together. She would give up her feelings for the sake of her sister's happiness.

Only, giving up her feelings wasn't working out well. In fact, it seemed like she was just falling more and more in love with Raku.

That was why Haru decided to end this once and for all. She would confess to Raku and get rejected so that she could move on with a clear heart. Broken, perhaps, but it would mean that she would have no more lingering feelings. Everything would be put to rest and she could end this charade.

But what if Raku accepted her? What if he somehow returned her feelings? There was no chance. Haru knew for a fact that Raku was in love with her sister. Even if he did return her feelings, there was no way she would be able to be in a relationship with him. The fake relationship with Chitoge was one thing, but going behind her sister's back and stealing the boy she had loved since middle school? Haru would rather kill herself than do something so heinous.

"Yeah...I definitely won't put Onee-chan through that kind of horrible ordeal..." mumbled Haru into the desk.

"Huh? Did you say something, Haru?"

"Nothing. Anyways, Fuu-chan. I'm going to write this letter tonight no matter what. Help me, ok?"

"...Well, if you're that set on it. Maybe we should look up some examples..."

And so for the rest of the night, the two first-year girls had gone through hundreds of pages of shoujo manga and looked over the confessions of at least twenty heroines. And their hard work paid off with a love letter of impossible force and elegance. It was as if Haru's own heart had been sealed within this letter.

Naturally, Haru couldn't bear to read it once it was finished. Fuu-chan had to hang up for an hour to regain control of herself.

When the letter was finally finished, the dawn of a new morning had arrived on the lovestruck little sister.

* * *

"This letter was supposed to be for Ichijou-senpai..."

That was the plan. However, the incident in the classroom had changed all that. Perhaps it was because the strangeness of the situation had caused Haru to loosen her grip. Perhaps it was the wind blowing in from the broken windows in the floor above. Whatever the reason, the love letter that Haru had poured so much effort into had escaped from her grasp. It had flown down the hall, like a soaring hawk, threatening to bare Haru's heart to anyone who picked it up.

"So why...?"

She had scrambled after the letter with her heart pounding. Luckily, whatever was propelling the letter away didn't carry it far. It had landed gently on the ground at the next corner. Haru had picked it up without any incident and let out a sigh of relief that made her fall onto her knees.

And then she had been surrounded by men in black suits.

"SO WHY ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO STEAL IT FROM ME?!" cried Haru as she ran through the school.

"DON'T LET HER GET AWAY! THAT GIRL POSSESSES A PRIORITY TARGET!"

* * *

Earlier in the morning when the black suits had been mobilizing for their invasion-

"Let me reiterate the mission of the 'Shield of False Love' for those that are new to the group. Our organization seeks to prevent world destruction through the plotblocking of the lead protagonist, Ichijou Raku. As we all know, our world hinges solely on the fact that Ichijou Raku is a run-of-the-mill harem lead. He has the perception of a braindead sloth and has no redeeming qualities that any decent human being does not already possess. As such, we are- Yes? You in the back."

"So...this isn't like a fan community? We're not supporting the characters and their relationships?"

"...What number are you?"

"Number 404, ma'am!"

"Well, #404. If you wish to stay within our organization, you must answer this one question honestly and without any pretenses."

"Y-Yes! I am prepared."

"How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?"

"C-Cash? Uh...maybe 4000 yen? I just flew in from America and the exchange rate's been fluctuating a little bit so I'm not exactly sure what the value of the American dollar is right now-"

"Show us your wallet."

Black Suit #404 took out his wallet and opened it to reveal around 45USD sitting inside it. The labcoat girl jumped down from the stage and walked over to verify.

"At current market exchange, I would say this is around 4850 yen."

"Uh...wow. That's more than I expecteeaaAAAHHHHHHH!"

The black suit's shout echoed down the hole that had just opened up beneath him. The trapdoor slammed shut with an ominous creak, causing all of the neighboring black suits to sweat anxiously.

"Ok, french fries on #404. Note that down on the budget sheet."

"Yes, boss."

"Also, kick that idiot out of our organization."

"Yes, boss."

The labcoat girl climbed back onto the stage and cleared her throat.

"As I was saying. We are the only thing that stands between Ichijou Raku's hot and bothered female squeezes and WORLD SALVATION! We cannot, under any circumstance, allow any of these high school BIMBOS to upset the status quo!"

"Isn't that a little harsh...?"

"Shh! The boss doesn't like any of the girls."

"Why not? I mean, some of them are a little violent but they're all bombshell beauties-"

"You know how girls are at her age. Very susceptible to tsundere-reactions towards their role models."

"Ah, I see."

"YOU TWO THERE! If you have time to be blabbering, then maybe you can tell me what our priority targets are for today's mission!"

"Uh...the pendant!"

"...What else?"

"...Uhm." The black suit looked to his neighbors for help. They all shrugged, having been paying as little attention as he had. "...WcDonald french fries?"

"...Well, at least some of you seem to read the agenda," said the labcoat girl. The black suit sighed in relief and wiped the sweat off his brow.

A trapdoor opened underneath him and sent him shouting down a dark hole.

"Does anyone else want to interrupt?"

"No, boss!"

"Now, we have a new key priority target that was just created two hours ago! A love letter from the little sister of Onodera Kosaki. This is a full-blown confession from Onodera Haru to Ichijou Raku!"

"Yay, HaruxRaku!"

"I knew it. I knew this was going to happen. All of you said it was going to be a Chitoge ending. WELL WHAT DO YOU KNOW? LOOKS LIKE THE ONESHOT WASN'T BIBLE AFTER ALL."

"Ohmigod, I'm tweeting this right now. /r/Nisekoi is so going to be filled with Haru gifs."

"YOU AREN'T DOING _ANYTHING_ BUT DESTROYING THAT LETTER!" screamed the labcoat girl, silencing all of the black suits. "Now you listen to me, you birdbrains! If that letter or ANY OF THE PRIORITY TARGETS get to Ichijou Raku, WE'RE FINISHED. This world is done! WE'LL BE AXED IN A MATTER OF WEEKS! Now, all of these priority targets are DESTROY ON SIGHT. Are we clear!?"

"Yes, boss..."

"Good. Now, moving onto the next bullet point on our agenda. Ehem. The new Raku x Shu doujinshi will be released next week at Toranoana-"

The black suits all groaned.

'Shut up! All of you shut up! Now, pick two sacrifices among yourselves to go line up for the release next week. Meet me after the meeting and we'll discuss sales rates."

* * *

"And that's why we're chasing after Onodera Haru and stealing her letter," said one of the black suits as they ran after Haru.

"Wow. I totally missed that meeting. Thanks for filling me in."

"No problem. By the way, you have to go to the release next week. You weren't there so..."

"God damn it. You guys are assholes!"

_Why!? What do these people want with my letter!?_

Although Haru was in no way an out-of-shape girl, she was still just your regular first-year high school; unlike Chitoge or Tsugumi, Haru's athleticism was perhaps just slightly above average. Consequently, it was no surprise that the black suits were constantly on her heels and would be within striking range at any second.

Haru gritted her teeth and tried to put all her energy into running. Although she didn't know what these guys were planning on doing with her letter, this was an item that she couldn't risk in anyone's hands but her own! If this letter couldn't reach Ichijou Raku, then at the very least, she would destroy it with her own hands!

"Grab her!" yelled a black suit as they closed in on Haru.

"H-How do you grab a girl?" asked the closest black suit.

"What do you mean how do you grab a girl? Just...Just put your arms around her!"

"But that seems like sexual harassment."

"Who cares!? The priority target is the priority!"

"B-But...I'm a Haru fan..."

"God damn it! HEY! Anyone here not a Haru fan?"

None of the black suits raised their arms.

"What!? Are you freaking kidding me!? Why the hell is everyone here a Haru fan!?"

"Well...all the Chitoge fans and Tsugumi fans stayed behind. And the older Onodera fans are chasing after Ichijou Raku."

"Oh god. This is what the boss was worried about. THIS is the reason why you're all supposed to attend those orientation training sessions!"

_What...What the heck are they talking about?_ thought Haru as she continued to run. The black suits seemed to be arguing about something as they came closer. In fact, it was incredibly creepy how they were all surrounding her with their hands stretched out, but not actually touching her in any way.

Haru felt her burst of adrenaline starting to fade. Her legs were growing heavy and her face was dripping with sweat. She must've ran across the entire length of the school by now. But she hadn't put any distance between her and the black suits. In fact, they were closer to her than ever before.

"So, I just reach over and grab her, right?"

"Just put your arms around her waist and pull back."

"Does it matter how high I grab her around the waist?"

"Well, you can't do it too high or you're going to mash her breasts."

"And that's bad, right?"

"Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. On one hand, you're molesting this girl deliberately by copping a feel. On the other hand, you could say that it was inevitable since you're capturing her anyways. You could really spin it either way."

"Hmm. This is a hard decision."

Her feet throbbed with each impact they made against the ground. The letter was crumpled in her tight grip and flapping all over her hands. She couldn't keep this up. Any second now, Onodera Haru would run out of steam. Any second now, these weird creeps would snatch the letter from her hands and do whatever the hell they wanted to it. Haru felt a wave of fear that made her eyes water.

_Someone...please. Someone help me. Please..._

Her vision became blurry as tears began streaming down her face. Her feet tripped over one another and she fell hard onto the ground.

_Help..._

_Ichijou-senpai!_

"GWAAHHH!"

Haru heard the symphony of loud cries as the black suits were blasted away by a flickering blur. Coming to a stop in front of Haru, the silver-haired beauty swept aside her laser-red scarf.

"Paula-san!"

"Ho? What a coincidence meeting you here, Onodera Haru," said Paula. "I just happened to be passing by."

"Paula-san...you came to rescue me," said Haru, sniffing and wiping her wet face.

"I-I did no such thing! Like I said, I was just passing by, that's all! I-It's not like I was concerned about you or anything," said Paula, trying hard not to show the happiness on her face. "W-Well, if you're that grateful, I guess we can talk about some kind of reward-"

"Who is that? What just hit us?" said the lead black suit as he struggled onto his feet.

"That's...That's the 'White Fang!' Paula McCoy!"

"What!? I thought she and Onodera Haru were just on classmate terms!"

"Apparently not. How fearful."

"Fufu, that's right. You are right to fear me. You lackeys are no match for me, the 'White Fang' of the Beehives!"

"To think that Onodera Haru won over even someone like the deadly 'White Fang,' Amazing. Her compassionate and pure heart is truly above us!"

"W-What!? What are you talking about!? I'm the one that saved her! And we don't have anything special between us!"

"Well, Paula x Haru is good too..."

"Y-You bastards...how dare you make fun of me," said Paula, her killing intent rising out of her like a storm of blades. She flapped open her coat, taking two large pistols out from her collection of arms inside.

"Crap. This might be bad," said the lead black suit, watching the pistols warily. "How many Paula fans do we have here?"

None of the black suits raised their hands.

"What? Are you serious? Not a single one!?"

"Well...she's not that popular to be honest."

"Yeah. She's not even part of the harem."

"Oh. Well damn. It's not that bad then." All of the black suits drew guns out from their suits and pointed them at Paula. "Now, we'll give you to the count of ten-"

A shower of bullets struck the black suits' guns, disarming them in an instant. Paula cocked her pistols.

"What were you saying?"

"...Please be my waifu."

"#255! NOO! DON'T FALL FOR HER TRICKS! She's just a loli!"

"Listen up," said Paula, firing bullets at the black suits' feet. They shut up and settled down. "I am willing to negotiate because I feel generous today. If you supply me with one bag of candy each, then I may consider sparing your lives."

"P-Paula-san?"

"Shh, Onodera Haru!"

"A bag of candy each?"

"Jeez! Do you know how expensive that is? I can't afford that on my salary."

"What about peppermints? Do they count?"

"NO! I hate peppers!" said Paula.

"Well...they don't have peppers in them-"

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"Make your decision!" said Paula, cocking her guns again. The black suits looked at each other and sighed.

"Ok, I'll cover you today."

"Thanks #163."

The black suits began taking out candy from their pockets. Paula watched them with a greedy expression on her face.

"...Paula-san," said Haru with a touch of exasperation.

"No, none of those cinnamon ones. I don't like those."

"What!? But cinnamon is great for your metabolism!"

"Then you eat them!"

"...Well, I mean, they're good for you but-"

"Come on. You gotta eat them now."

"Yeah, you can't just wimp out like that after trying to force them on someone."

"...Damn it." The black suit stuffed his mouth with a handful of cinnamon chewies. "Are you guys happy now? B-Because...because I'm not...sniff..."

"Ok. You're free to go," said Paula after she piled all the candy into her voluminous pockets.

"You know what. I feel liberated," said one of the black suits.

"Yeah. Now I won't get cavities."

"You guys are just trying to cope. Don't get ahead of yourselves."

Deprived of their candy, the black suits filed out and left the hall. Haru finally relaxed and exhaled in relief.

"Paula-san...thanks again."

"H-Hmph! D-Don't think this was anything special. It was for the candy," said Paula, pulling her scarf up to her mouth. "Why were they chasing you anyways?"

"I don't know. They were after my letter for some reason," said Haru, smoothing out the love letter. Paula's ears pricked up at her words.

"Letter? You mean a love letter?" said Paula, her eyes glinting mischievously. "Heeeh~ you like someone, Onodera Haru?"

"H-Huh!? N-No! I-It's not like that!"

"Who is it? You can tell me," said Paula, her eager smile crinkling her eyes.

"I-It's no one! It's not for anyone!"

"Heeeh~. But this is clearly a love letter," said Paula, pointing at the hearts drawn on the envelope. Haru wanted sink into the ground. Why had she drawn those? Why!?

"This is just...a normal letter. It's not a love letter-"

"Oh really? Let me see it then."

"N-No! It's nothing, really, Paula-san!"

"Oh come on, let me see it~"

"P-Paula-san!" said Haru, holding the letter up above her head.

"Just let...me...see it!" said Paula, stretching and jumping to try and grab it.

"I-I'm telling you, this is not a love lette-!"

_BANG!_

"DOWN, ONODERA HARU!"

The sound of a gunshot. Paula pushed Haru down onto the ground. Haru's hand stayed up, waving the letter in the air.

A hole appeared in the love letter.

_BANG! BANG!_

Two more shots. With the passing of a single second, there was only a tattered scrap left of the love letter in Haru's hand.

"YEAH! I got it!" said a black suit on the other end of the hall, bent over the scope of a sniper rifle. "Priority target deeeestroyed!"

"Nice shot, dude. You're totally going to get promoted for this."

"Finally! I can start buying real Spam instead of that cheap imitation Spam."

_Ah..._

Paula tried to locate the source of the gunfire. A sniper, huh? She grabbed Haru and tumbled over to a nearby wall. They wouldn't be able to hit them from this angle.

"Onodera Haru. Are you ok?" asked Paula, reloading her pistols. There was no answer. A flash of worry struck through Paula. "Onodera Haru! Don't tell me you were hit-!"

Haru was fine. But her letter was destroyed. All that was left of the love letter was a tiny scrap in her palm. Haru sat against the wall, staring disbelievingly at her hand.

"Onodera Haru...?"

"Ha...haha..." All that time she had spent on this letter. All the feelings that she poured into it. All the hopes that she had pinned on it. Gone. Just like that.

Even though she had tried so hard. Even though...she had finally decided to...

"Ha...ha...I guess...I guess it's karma. I shouldn't have...had these feelings in the first place..." said Haru. She hugged her knees to her chest, hot tears flowing down her face. Paula was taken aback. For a moment, even the deadly 'White Fang' of the Beehives couldn't think of a single response to the scene in front of her. A young girl whose dying love had been stomped on once again by fate.

"S-Stop it, Onodera Haru," said Paula at last. "What are you crying about?"

Haru just sniffed in answer. She tightened her hold on her legs as she felt her heart squeeze.

"W...Why are you crying, Onodera Haru?' said Paula, tears welling up in her own eyes. "Y-You shouldn't be crying. You said it wasn't a love letter. Y-You said it was nothing."

"...Uu...Uwaaah..." A sob escaped past Haru's mouth.

"D-Don't cry. Don't cry," said Paula, her words half-mumbled as she started rubbing her eyes. "Y-Y...hic...You don't have anything...sniff...to cry about!"

"AAhh...aahh..." Haru released it all. All her doubts, all her worries; all of her love, all of her emotions; they flowed onto her knees, down onto the floor, soaking into the cold tiles.

"A-Anyways...i-it's just a letter!" said Paula, trying to get a hold of herself. "It's just a letter, Onodera Haru! I-If...if you really like that person...then it's not like you can't tell him directly."

"Sniff...hic...huh?" said Haru, lifting her head, her hair matted against her wet face.

"Y-Yeah. You can just tell him! You don't need a letter," said Paula, wiping her eyes. "In fact, it's better to say it face to face."

"...Tell him...directly?" said Haru, wiping her own face.

"Yeah. If you love someone, you're supposed to confess to them in person, aren't you?" said Paula, sniffing a little. "Y-You tell them to meet you somewhere alone and you go and confess your feelings to that person. Isn't that how it's done here?"

"T-That's..." said Haru, laughing a little. "I-I guess..."

"So, you've still got a chance! You can still tell that person you love him."

Haru rested her head against the wall. Paula's encouraging smile fell a little.

_Tell him directly...huh?_

Her love letter was gone. When those bullets had torn through the paper, it was like Haru's own heart had been shot. And now that it was gone, now that her feelings were scattered in singed scraps on the floor, she felt tired. Finally, finally at last, she felt like she could give up her feelings. She felt like now, when she had been beaten down like this, now she could just let everything go.

_...Let it all go._

_Just support Onee-chan._

_Push them together with a big smile. And wish them happiness._

That was what Haru wanted to do. That was what she wanted to give to her treasured sister, the person she loved most in the entire world. If Haru could do this, she felt like she would be happy. She felt like she would have no regrets.

_Yeah..._

_Finally...I can just..._

_Let you go...senpai._

The boy that had taken care of her when she had gotten lost in middle school. The Prince that had saved her from thugs and from that falling scaffolding...

The boy that was so awkward that he was forced into a fake relationship-

The boy that loved the same foods she did, that matched her love of sweets, cooking, and her sister-

The boy that had cheered her on even when she had been up against the girl he loved in a beauty contest-

The boy that made Haru's heart skip a beat whenever he called her name, that made her feel warm and clumsy whenever he smiled at her-

"I don't..."

"What? What did you say, Onodera Haru?"

"I don't...want to..."

Haru pressed her palms against her eyes.

"I don't want to...give up on him...I don't want to...stop loving him..."

Paula smiled as she saw Haru scrunch her mouth up and try to hold back her tears. She put a comforting arm around Haru and let her cry on her shoulder.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the hall-

"...We're very sorry. We are bad men. We have done an awful thing."

"Continue."

"We made a young girl cry. We are deeply ashamed. We will apologize to this girl as soon as possible and beg for her forgiveness."

"What else...?"

"And we will do everything in our power to make amends to the girl that we have wronged."

"Good. I hope you understand now how much trouble you caused," said Yui to the black suits.

"Yes. We understand. We are very sorry," said the sniper and his comrade. They bowed again, so low that their foreheads touched the ground.

"Ok, Ie. I think we can let them off the hook," said Yui with a wink. Ie nodded and hopped off the black suit's back.

"Well now...I wonder if Chitoge-chan and Tsugumi-chan are ok."

* * *

_**A/N: **Phew! That one was long!_


	12. Blood Ringing in Her Ears

**A/N:** _Happy Halloween everyone!_

* * *

**The Plan**

_Part Twelve  
_

* * *

For her tenth birthday, her parents had allowed her to have a birthday party. She invited all of her friends and double-checked all of her plans to make sure that everything would go fantastic. When her birthday came, everyone who was invited made it and everything was going well. Pizza arrived on time, the cake was a chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream filling, and the girl was able to blow out all of her candles when she made a wish.

It was the perfect party. She knew that her birthday would be the talk of the class when the weekend was over. She had even made some new friends after showing them how nicely her Tamagotchi family was growing.

And there was still the best part left. Opening the presents. Everyone sat at the table, looking expectantly at the birthday girl's present stack, which was so large that it completely covered the girl from view. She looked at her presents with star-struck eyes and hugged her parents. Of course, each person would be thanked individually once their present came around. After taking pictures and making small talk, the grand event was about to start.

"Look at how excited she looks," said the mother to one of the parents. "Thank you so much for buying her a present. But you didn't have to buy something so extravagant..."

"Oh, it was no problem at all! She's a growing girl. It's important that she has a good childhood, don't you think?"

"Yes...I suppose so. Thank you again."

The mumblings of the adults only fed the girl's excitement. She grabbed her first present, the largest in the stack, and looked at the tag. It was from her neighbors, the Yamadas.

"Oho, happy birthday _! I hope you enjoy what we got you. The wife spent a whole day trying to decide."

"D-Don't tell them that!"

The adults all started laughing. The girl's friends gathered around so that they could see what the present was.

"What is it?"

"It's got to be a N64. Look at how big it is!"

"I bet it's Pokemon, the board game! Oh my god, that would be so cool."

"Hurry up, unwrap it!"

The girl carefully unfolded the wrapping paper. Although she was eager to see what the present was, she also knew that she had to be polite and respectful. After all, she was ten years old now! She was no longer an immature, bratty girl. She was already on her way to becoming a fine, mature woman!

The final bits of the wrapping paper came away. There was a large white box in front of her. With trembling fingers, the girl took the lid off the box, allowing her friends to see the beautiful treasure within-

"Oh wow! It's a...a..."

An enormous tapestry with black daubs that vaguely looked like mountains.

"An ink wash painting! That's a genuine one, you know! We had it painted by a famous artist."

"Oh, you shouldn't have...really! This is too much..." said the mother, uttering a little "wow" as she held the painting up. "Don't you think this will look great on your wall, _?"

"...Yeah," said the girl, struggling to keep her tone upbeat. "I...It's great. Thank you very much, Yamada-san."

The adults oohed and ahhed at the ink wash painting. The male Yamada was giving a summary of the artist's portfolio, eliciting cries of wonder and awe.

The girl and her friends looked at the son of the Yamadas.

"It's great, isn't it?" said the son. They all gave him crooked smiles.

_W-Well...there's plenty of presents left,_ thought the girl, putting the painting aside. She picked up another present, this one from her closest friend. This was bound to be a great present. They knew exactly what each other liked.

The girl unwrapped the present a bit more quickly than before. It was another white box. Feeling a sense of dread, the girl lifted the lid.

"Oh wow. It's...a wool sweater..."

The girl looked at her close friend. She averted her gaze, covering her face with her hand.

"Oh a sweater! That's perfect for the winter," said the mother, pulling the sweater out of the box.

"Isn't it? That's what we thought too! They said it's going to be quite chilly this year," said one of the parents. "Our daughter was going on about something called Super Mario 64..."

"Oh no, this is much better," said the mother. "The school year is starting soon and it's been hard finding some good clothing for _ to wear."

"Yes, yes. They're getting more and more expensive every year," said the parent, nodding sympathetically.

The girl hurriedly picked another present. Heh, this was a joke, right? They couldn't all be like this.

The next present was a _kendama_. The girl stared at it with eyes like a dead fish.

"That's mine!" said one of her friends. "I got you that. It's so cool. You flip the ball and try to catch it on the spike-"

The girl flipped the wooden toy, catching the ball and its string instantly on the spike. She tossed it aside and grabbed the next present.

An _akabeko._ The head of the red cow wobbled as the girl finished unwrapping it.

Next was a wristband with the words "I love Tokyo!"

Then a necklace of cheap bottle caps.

A bottle of _ramune._

A packet of instant ramen.

A boxset of Fist of the North Star DVDs.

A freaking labcoat, of all things!

And so on.

Finally, there was only one present left. All of the adults were cheerfully talking about the presents and how each of them had picked such wonderful things for her tenth birthday. Her so-called friends were watching one of the guys trying to catch the ball on the _kendama_.

She wanted to cry. How did things become like this? Wasn't this going to be the best birthday party ever? Hadn't everything been going her way up to this point? She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling. Was this what it meant to turn ten-years old? Was this the kind of sacrifice she had to make to become a fine, mature woman?

She took the last present into her hands. It was obviously a book inside. She began unwrapping it, feeling beaten and weak. She just wanted one. One good present that would make all of this worth it. Yes, she was no longer a kid. She was ten-years old. But she didn't want to end her old self like this. She didn't want to start her new life with such disappointment.

Being a kid meant you were immature. It meant that no one listened to you and everyone thought they knew what was best for you. But, she realized, it also meant that you had a lot of fun. You were spoiled and everyone wanted to show you the best time of your life. Being a kid meant that you had the spotlight.

But it was ending for her now. The curtains were going to close. The girl wiped her eyes and tore away the last of the wrapping paper.

If only she could leave the stage with a grand encore...

The present was a volume of manga. A big grin appeared on her face as she saw the title. A miracle! It was a miracle! It was her favorite series, the one that she had been following for two years now, the one that she begged her parents to buy everytime a new volume was released in stores. Her parents had made her start saving up money for new volumes so she hadn't been able to get the newest one. But here it was now! Right in her hands!

"Oh, you like that manga, don't you _? I was hoping that was the right one."

"It is! Thank you so much, Mr. Yamamoto!" said the girl, beaming with happiness. Oh, she wanted to read it right now! It was love. She was in love with this manga. She was in love with the characters and their antics, all the fun times they had with each new volume. She knew that no matter how old she got, she would always be reading this manga.

"That's good. It's the last volume, you know? Real shame that the series ended."

It ended up being a horrible birthday. All of the guests left, muttering to themselves and wondering what had happened. The parents were so worried that they called an ambulance to take their daughter to the hospital.

Because their daughter had been sitting in the same spot for the past five hours. She did not speak. She did not move.

It was as if she had turned into a rock.

* * *

"And I swore to myself after that. I would never let anything that I loved end so miserably ever again."

The labcoat girl finished her story on the stage, her arms crossed, a triumphant smile on her face.

"...Well? Where's my applause? Don't you think that was an inspiring life story?"

The black suits looked at each other and hesitated. The labcoat girl's smile started to falter as the silence continued to stretch.

"Well!? Wasn't it inspiring!?"

"Uh...yeah..."

"...T-That wasn't easy, you know? ...It's not like I had to tell you guys that! It was really traumatic, you know! I only told you guys...sniff...cause I thought you'd understand..."

The labcoat girl became teary-eyed.

"B-Boss! G-Go Boss!"

"Yeah! Boss is the best!"

"She suffered so much! What a brave ten-year old, she was!"

The black suits began cheering and applauding. The labcoat girl stopped rubbing her eyes and looked at the crowd.

"R-Really? You guys mean it?"

"You're the light of our life, Boss! A shining example to all Oliver Twists in the world!"

"Hooray, Boss! We're with you all the way! Keep persevering!"

"Wasn't she just a spoiled brat?"

The room went dead with silence. A spotlight lit up the black suit that had just made that remark.

"You there. What number are you?"

"...Uh #155."

Normally, this sort of pattern would lead to a trapdoor opening beneath the black suit and sending him falling down to some unknown location deep under the Earth. And of course, that was exactly what happened. However, this was Black Suit #155. A veteran Black Suit. He had seen this pattern enough times to prepare himself.

"HWAAHH!"

With a tremendous cry, #155 jumped away just as the trapdoor opened underneath him. He ran through the other black suits as square after square of the floor popped away into holes.

"UWWOOOOOOOHHHH!" yelled #155, running all the way onto the stage. The other black suits stared at him in awe. It was the first time! The first time that a black suit had escaped the traps! A deafening cheer came from the black suits.

"He did it! HE DID IT!"

"HE OVERCAME THE BOSS!"

"#155, YOU'RE MY HERO!"

#155 raised his arms over his head and roared proudly.

"NO MORE OPPRESSION! NO MORE TAKING ORDERS FROM THIS KID WITH A LACKLUSTER BACKSTORY! WHO'S WITH ME!?" said #155, punching his fist into the air. Another bout of cheering that shook the room. He spun around, flinging a finger at the labcoat girl. "WE'RE THROUGH WITH YO-"

The labcoat girl had disappeared. Eyes wide with surprise, #155 scanned the stage, trying to see where the labcoat girl had gone.

_Sluuuuuurp._

The labcoat girl was calmly sipping a soda at the front of the black suit crowd. She waved up at #155, who felt his heart immediately sink.

Then, a trapdoor opened underneath the entire stage.

* * *

"And that was how I regained control and quelled a coup brewing in the 'Shield of False Love,'" said the labcoat girl, nodding approvingly at her flashback.

"Wait a second. Did we just have a flashback within a flashback?" said one of the black suits, momentarily disorientated.

"Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up."

"In any case, I hope you all got the moral of the story," said the labcoat girl, sitting on the shoulder of her giant robot. "There are important things in this world. Things that you have to fight for. And if you do nothing, fate won't feel sorry for you. It'll mercilessly whisk it away."

"Well, that's part of growing up, Boss," said one of the black suits. "You know, back when I was just finishing college, I fell in love with this one sweet gal and-"

"Who said I wanted to hear your life story!? Did you find Ichijou Raku and Onodera Kosaki!?"

"...No, boss."

"Well, go find them! If we find them, then we can easily take care of _Kirisaki Chitoge._" A vein throbbed in the labcoat girl's temple. "Calling me a washboard of all things...that foreign bitch...!"

"Does the boss sound more pissed off than usual?"

"Maybe. I can never tell. Her loli voice is so squeaky and cute."

"You two! If you have nothing to do, then wipe the dust off my robot! It needs to be kept in tip-top shape. These parts are expensive," said the labcoat girl, hopping off the robot's shoulder. The two black suits sighed and walked over to the robot. Not having a rag or anything, the two were forced to use their jackets to wipe the robot down.

"This is dry clean only..."

"Well, you don't get to wear a suit often. I'm glad that we're such a stylish organization."

"I guess so. This suit does make me look slimmer."

The labcoat girl walked over to a nearby window and looked outside. The sky was quite clear today and the sun was shining brightly. All in all, it didn't look a day for an invasion to happen on.

"Well, no one would expect the world to end because of a few high school students," murmured the labcoat girl, resting her cheek on the window. What a ridiculous place this world was. A fragile balance that tilted on the whims of something like children's hearts. A beansprout boy. The girls that reached out to him, hesitantly, delicately.

They were just kids. They would fall in love again. They would have their hearts broken again. And they would live on. Live on until their hearts numbed into an adult heart. Their burdens and responsibilities, rather than weights on their shoulders that could be held up by their friends and family, they would become shackles on their sore ankles, the lock rusted shut and the key crumbled to dust.

In the end, that was the sort of world that they lived in. A world where childhood, as brightly as it shined, was brief and only darkness waited after it dimmed. It dragged on, sluggishly, leisurely, these clear sunshine days.

To be honest, it bored her. The world that they lived in. The road that their lives slowly walked on. Smooth and stretching endlessly. It was a carriage ride, with only the occasional passerby and pothole.

It bored her because she had ridden on this carriage all her life. But at the same time, she loved it. She knew it better than anything else. She could feel it when a single new pebble made its way onto the trail. She knew the best position to sleep comfortably under the clouds. The smell of sun-kissed wood enveloped her like an old friend. Looking around, she only saw the same, boring scenery. Heard the same, boring sounds.

She'd take a breath of the same, boring air. She'd lay back on the same, boring carriage, rest her hands lightly on her same, boring chest, and close her eyes.

It was truly boring. But she was at peace.

This world was her comfort zone. Her home.

No matter what, she would protect this place. With every fiber of her being. Even if this world was on the brink of disaster, she would fight. She would claw at chaos' hands and shred them to pieces.

The world needed change. It needed progress.

But right now, the world was fine. There was no need for change. No need for progress.

Stay the same. That's all it needed to do.

It was a child's greatest wish.

A fine, adult woman. A mature, responsible life.

It would have to wait. It _had_ to wait. Just a little longer. She wanted to enjoy her childhood, just a little longer.

"Boss! We've found Kirisaki Chitoge and Tsugumi Seishirou!"

"Oh? Where are they?" she asked, stepping away from the window.

"On the floor above us."

"I wasn't expecting to find them this quickly. But well, I suppose it might as well happen now," said the labcoat girl, putting her hands inside her coat's pockets. "Kids that want to taste adulthood early. This world doesn't need worthless things like that."

* * *

"I see. So they're safe," said Chitoge into her cell phone. "Ok. I'll contact you guys when we're finished up here."

Chitoge hung up the call and pocketed her phone. Ruri had informed her about Shu's prepared hiding place below the roof tiles. Chitoge was a little worried about having that perverted beansprout all alone with Kosaki, but it was a necessary risk. And if that guy ended up laying a finger on Kosaki, then she'd just beat him up after this was all over.

Chitoge had also called the Beehive Gang for backup. It seemed that Raku had called his family too. All they needed to do now was keep the black suits at bay until reinforcements arrived. Luckily, they weren't posing much of a problem.

"Ojou, all black suits in this area have been annihilated," reported Tsugumi. Behind her, the floor was almost completely covered in unconscious black suits. Chitoge nodded, rubbing some marks off her shoulder.

"You're really amazing, Tsugumi. You took out fifteen more guys than I did."

"No...I think it's more amazing that you were able to handle so many, Ojou," said Tsugumi, not sure how to feel about her mistress being so powerful.

"You think so?" said Chitoge, looking bemused.

"Hoh? You did quite a number on us, didn't you?"

Hearing those words, Chitoge and Tsugumi spun around and got into battle stances. The giant robot and a small army of black suits were at the other end of the hallway.

"I was expecting you two to be annoying at best, but you're proving to be massive thorns in my side," said the labcoat girl, jumping down from the giant robot. Chitoge felt her eye twitch reflexively. It wasn't just the girl's arrogant tone; just the way her face looked pissed Chitoge off.

"Heeh~ Look, a tiny wall appeared," said Chitoge, her voice colored with contempt. The labcoat girl ground her teeth, but forced her lips into a fake smile.

"My god, even after I warned this plastic Barbie doll reject...it seems your head is just as hollow, hm?"

"Ah? What was that? I couldn't hear you from all the way up here."

Tsugumi and the black suits watched uncomfortably as the hallway between them seemed to fill with dense air full of crackling sparks.

"Hmph. I was hoping to take care of Ichijou Raku and Onodera Kosaki first. But then again, skipping to the best part of the story is the audience's privilege," said the labcoat girl, smirking.

"Stay away from my friends!" said Chitoge, her eyes becoming sharp.

"Ooh, I'm scared. How are you going to stop me?" said the labcoat girl, stretching out her arms tauntingly. She frowned at the silence behind her. She snapped her fingers impatiently and the black suits started laughing weakly.

"Khh...this washboard runt," said Chitoge, balling up her fist.

"Ojou. Please let me take care of this," said Tsugumi, stepping in front of her.

"Haaahh? Tsugumi Seishirou? Ahaha, I'm quaking in my boots," said the labcoat girl, taking big gulps of air and releasing loud, obnoxious laughs. "HA! HA! HA!"

"Even though you are a cute little girl, I won't hold back against anyone that threatens Ojou," said Tsugumi, raising the pistols in her hands. The black suits moved to protect their boss, but the labcoat girl halted them with a hand.

"Hoh~? Pretty brazen thing for a third-rate hitman to say," said the labcoat girl.

"Third-rate?" Tsugumi's eyes narrowed in anger.

"Looks like it. After all, what else can I call you but third-rate?" said the labcoat girl, shrugging. "You can't even hit a little photograph."

It was like a bullet pierced Tsugumi's heart. An intense chill ran through and froze her body.

"Hm? What's wrong, Tsugumi Seishirou? You look pale," said the labcoat girl, her smile widening to show teeth. Tsugumi's body trembled, throwing off her aim.

"Tsugumi...?" said Chitoge. Tsugumi jerked at her voice, horrible guilt spreading in her stomach.

"O-Ojou..."

"Tsugumi, what's wrong?" said Chitoge, her face full of worry. Tsugumi clenched her eyes shut, trying to clear her head. _Ojou...I'm trying to protect Ojou. That's all that matters. Don't think about useless things!_

"It's nothing, Ojou," said Tsugumi, regaining control of herself. She took a deep breath and repositioned her aim. The labcoat girl's smile continued to widen.

"Yeah, what's wrong, Tsugumi Seishirou? Surely you've told Kirisaki Chitoge about your little handicap. She's the one under your protection. Don't you think she should know about things like that?"

"Shut up!" said Tsugumi, her arm trembling again. "Shut your mouth!"

"Oh? Could it be...that you didn't tell her? How irresponsible...are you really a bodyguard? I feel awful for that mafia brat, having a worthless bodyguard like you."

"What did you say!?" shouted Chitoge, bristling. Tsugumi gritted her teeth, unable to respond.

"Hm? What, you aren't ashamed of that weakness? Ah...that's right. It's not just any photograph, is it? It's just one particular person..."

"Shut up!" said Tsugumi again, a hint of desperation in her voice now. "Don't..."

"Heeh~ forget what I said earlier. You're even bolder than I thought. Having those kinds of feelings..."

"What the hell are you talking about!? What would you know about Tsugumi!?" yelled Chitoge.

"Why don't you ask her?" said the labcoat girl.

"What...?" Chitoge turned to look at Tsugumi. For a moment, their eyes connected, but then Tsugumi sharply averted her gaze. Chitoge felt her skin grow cold.

Tsugumi was Chitoge's best friend. Whenever she looked at Tsugumi, her eyes were full of warmth and kindness. Tsugumi truly cared for her, perhaps more than anyone else. And Chitoge loved her because of that.

So, Chitoge was startled. She was startled by the look on Tsugumi's face, an emotion that she had rarely seen in Tsugumi's eyes.

Fear. Pure, gnawing fear.

"Tsugumi...?"

"Ojou...I-I..."

Tsugumi couldn't think. Her body wouldn't move. Everything was blowing up inside her all at once. All the guilt, fear, and shame she had accumulated, these awful feelings that had surfaced sparingly over the past year, they surged forward and crippled her. She was drowning. Drowning and unable to swim. The weight of her feelings gripped her tightly, dragging her down into unbearable darkness.

_Just a little more._

The labcoat girl was feverish with triumph. Just a little more and the most dangerous obstacle would be broken. With Tsugumi Seishirou in pieces, Kirisaki Chitoge wouldn't stand a chance.

What a foolish girl. Trying to protect someone while possessing such a fragile heart.

It was asking to be smashed.

"Who is this special person, I wonder?" said the labcoat girl. "Well, Kirisaki Chitoge? Don't you want to know?"

Chitoge's throat locked up. She wanted to know. She wanted to know what could cause her best friend to be so frightened. She wanted to know what was hurting her friend so badly that she couldn't move.

But she couldn't ask. Because Tsugumi was scared of that knowledge. She was frightened of others knowing about it.

_A photograph of one person..._

An enemy? No...she wouldn't hide something like that from her. A close friend? But why would she be afraid of that? Chitoge wracked her brains through the possibilities. But nothing added up. What could Tsugumi, one of the strongest people she knew, be so afraid of?

_What would I be afraid of?_

The thought came to Chitoge. There were plenty of things. Ghosts and being all alone in a dark forest. Her favorite ramen stores closing down. Not ever being able to see her parents ever again. Having Raku find out the truth about her feeli-

_Ah..._

Chitoge lost her breath. A special person's photograph. One that you couldn't damage, one that you wouldn't want anyone else to know about-

The photograph of someone you loved in secret.

_Is that it? Does she know about Tsugumi's love?_

Chitoge couldn't forgive her. Taking advantage of Tsugumi's pure feelings like that...it was blackmail, plain and simple. It was evil and cruel!

"Tsugumi. That photograph is someone you like, isn't it?"

The fear on Tsugumi's face escalated into sheer terror. But, Chitoge clamped a supporting hand on her shoulder.

"It's ok, Tsugumi! Even if it's someone you like, it's just a photograph. And I won't tell anyone!" said Chitoge, smiling encouragingly.

"O-Ojou...that's not..." Tsugumi started to cry. If Chitoge found out...if she knew that she was holding such disgraceful feelings even though she was supposed to be Chitoge's best friend...

"Ehh~ how heartwarming. Perhaps I had Kirisaki Chitoge all wrong. To think she holds so much trust for her close friends..." said the labcoat girl.

"You shut up!" yelled Chitoge. "Tsugumi is my _best_ friend! Nothing you say is going to change that!"

_Ojou..._

_I'm so sorry, Ojou..._

Tsugumi opened her eyes. Yes, it didn't matter if this person knew about her feelings. Chitoge was her friend. Chitoge was one of the most important people in her life. Right now, all that mattered was to protect Chitoge.

She would do anything it took. Because Chitoge would always stand on her side.

"I'll protect Ojou!" declared Tsugumi. She pointed her guns at the labcoat girl, her aim steadier than ever. Her fingers pressed the triggers.

_THERE!_

The labcoat girl pulled a remote from her labcoat and pressed the button. The giant robot dashed in front of the girl, shielding her from Tsugumi's range.

And then, its chest opened up.

Tsugumi choked. She fired her guns, but the bullets missed and ricocheted off the walls. Tsugumi's arms fell to her sides.

On the robot's chest. A blown up version of the photograph she had at home.

Ichijou Raku's face.

It broke. Everything crowded in and burst inside her head. Tsugumi's mind and heart cracked.

Tsugumi didn't know how to react. She didn't know what to do, what to say. Only a single, panicking thought rampaged through her-

_Ojou-_

_She knows-_

"That's..."

Chitoge blanked out too. What was that? That was a photograph, right? Was that the person that Tsugumi loved? The special someone that she had feelings for? Eh? But...that was...

_Tsugumi likes..._

_Huh?_

_Eh?_

_But...that can't..._

_What?_

_When?_

_Wha-_

Tsugumi screamed. She screamed so violently that the black suits cried out in pain and grabbed their ears. The labcoat girl laughed, her eyes overflowing with manic joy.

_I did it.  
_

_I broke Tsugumi Seishirou!_

"RAAAHHHHHH!"

Shame and guilt changed into absolute fury, etched into every line on Tsugumi's face. She charged at the labcoat girl, still screaming, her body flying across the hallway in a flickering blur. In one blink, she was right in front of the girl, her pistol just inches from the girl's forehead.

A ear-piercing crack. It echoed through the hallway, ringing all the way into Chitoge's ears.

The giant robot stood again in front of the labcoat girl, its claw swung to the side after smashing into Tsugumi's head. She was flung backwards, blood spraying from her nose and mouth.

"TSUGUMI!"

Chitoge ran. She threw herself, arms outstretched. Tsugumi crashed into her, sending both of them tumbling backwards.

"HAHAHA! What is this! Charging straight at the enemy in such a predictable way. You really are an awful bodyguard!" said the labcoat girl, slapping her leg. "Huh? Were you blind with rage? Haha! Is that all it takes for someone like you, 'Black Tiger?'"

"Tsugumi! Tsugumi!"

"Ojou..."

Tsugumi's eyes fluttered. But her mouth wouldn't work the way she wanted. She felt the blood dripping down her face, but couldn't feel the pain.

"Tsugumi!" cried Chitoge, wiping at the blood with her sleeve.

"I...I'm sorry...Ojou..."

"Don't talk! Don't talk, Tsugumi!"

"I'm...sorry. I...I betrayed your trust..." said Tsugumi, tears mixing with the blood. "I'm...an awful person..."

"No! DON'T SAY THAT, TSUGUMI! IT'S NOT TRUE! YOU..."

Chitoge's words stuck in her throat. She hugged Tsugumi to her chest tightly.

"You didn't betray me, you're not awful. You're my best friend," said Chitoge, her voice cracking.

"O...Ojou..."

Tsugumi's vision began to blur. She felt her eyes growing heavy. A rattling breath escaped from her lips.

"Finish them," said the labcoat girl. The giant robot stepped forward, its weight stamping cracks in the floor. Chitoge sat there, holding Tsugumi's limp body in her arms.

"That's right...This world won't end so easily," said the labcoat girl. "I won't let it. Even if I have to dirty my hands until they're black."

The robot stood over Chitoge. It raised its claw above its head.

"Don't underestimate the difference between what we fight for, you damn brat!" said the labcoat girl. The robot's claw swung down with the speed of a crashing jet-

_SMASH!_

The robot's claw tore away from its body. It crashed into the window, shattering the glass, then recoiled to the other wall, cracking the plaster. The robot swung its free arm-

Chitoge stomped it into the floor, splintering the tiles. She clenched her fist and swung it at the robot's chest-

Ichijou Raku's face disappeared. A hole blasted through the robot's chest, scattering wires and shards of metal behind it, like an explosion. The robot was sent back with such force that it threw the black suits all the way back to the stairway.

"What-"

The labcoat girl's breath caught, her body pressed against the wall. She had just barely dodged the giant robot. Her hair splayed in a mess across her face, the labcoat girl twisted forward in a panic.

**"You're dead."**

Words filled with killing intent. Lethal words that had never come out of her mouth. Kirisaki Chitoge stepped forward, crushing the remains of the robot's claw under her foot.

"Heh..." The labcoat girl gripped the wall with a mixture of horror and excitement. Cold sweat dripped down her face. "Is that right? And how exactly are you going to kill m-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Chitoge's fist, balled so tightly that her nails ripped her skin, drilled into the girl's face.


	13. Intermission

**The Plan**

_Part 12.5  
_

* * *

In hindsight, it really wasn't his fault. After all, things had been chaotic and he _had_ put his life at stake in order to protect the girl he loved.

But even so...

"He's human trash. The worst kind of guy."

"Now, now...let's not be so harsh on him. Although...this is pretty cruel, Raku..."

* * *

_Just a few minutes ago~_

Having gathered to wait for the supposed arrival of Ichijou Raku in an hour, the crowd of black suits had decided to entertain themselves while they waited. Currently, they were in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors with a special rule that the loser would have to join the winning team.

"Don't lose! We absolutely need #76! He's the best at this game!"

"I'm going to play rock."

"D-Damn it! I let my guard down. Now I have to worry about whether he'll really play rock or if he's lying!"

"Or I might play...paper."

"Two consecutive hits...this guy is a pro!"

"He's done for! There's no way this could get any worse..."

"Or...maybe I'll surrender..."

The black suits roared in awe at the technique. What amazing skill! To introduce the possibility of winning to an opponent that was sure to lose! Not to mention using a bluff that didn't even make sense in the context of the game! It was a chilling move that disorientated the player while also provoking them to be more aggressive.

Ruri and Shu slipped out of the room as the battle came to a climax, the sound of a louder roar than the first one signaling that some sort of massive upset had occurred. Well, at the very least, it seemed like they had gained themselves about two hours. Shu was sure that these sort of guys would get distracted and lose track of time.

"Alright, now that we've got Raku and Onodera-san in a good place, we should get ourselves to safety," said Shu. "It looks like Yui-nee is helping to evacuate the other students, so we should go and join up with her."

"I'm amazed that you were able to get info at a time like this," said Ruri. "No wait...how did you even know that?"

"Fufu, like I said to Raku, don't underestimate my information network, Ruri-chan!" said Shu, his glasses glinting. A buzzing sound came from his pocket. "Ah, some more info-"

Ruri stomped on Shu's foot.

"Ruri-chan, that's the worst place you could aim for right now..." said Shu, his eyes watering. "But well, this Ruri-chan is nice too~"

"...I haven't said anything before, but it's starting to irritate me," said Ruri, shoving Shu's grinning face away. "When did we get so close that you could call me by my given name?"

"Ara~ we are close, aren't we!" said Shu with an enormous cat-like smile.

"The day I'm close with voyeuristic scum like you is when you turn into a woman," said Ruri with her eyes dead.

"You just can't be honest with yourself, Ruri-chan. But that is cute too~"

"Speaking of which..." said Ruri as she finished whacking Shu a couple times. "The only ones you call by their surname are Kirisaki-san and Kosaki-chan."

"Eh? Do I?" said Shu, his eyes spinning.

"But you've known them as longer than Tsugumi-san or Tachibana-san, so why...?" said Ruri under her breath.

"Hmmmmmm. I really can't say," said Shu, seriously considering the question. "Well, I wouldn't want to call them too familiarly anyways. It'd be rude."

"What?" said Ruri, her eye twitching. "A damn pervert like you considering the feelings of girls?"

"That's harsh, Ruri-chan. I try to show my best behavior to all girls!" said Shu, pounding his chest. Ruri desperately wanted to smack him again, but at this point, it was her hand that was taking more of a beating. "But well, I meant it'd be rude to Raku."

"Ichijou-kun?" Ruri's eyebrows went up a little in surprise.

"Of course. He's my best friend after all," said Shu, shaking his head like the reason was so obvious that anyone could tell. It hurt, but Ruri tightened her fist anyways.

"I see...you were being considerate of Ichijou-kun," said Ruri. It was a surprising answer. It was true, though, that they were the only two girls that Shu did not refer to so familiarly. The girl that was "dating" his best friend. The girl that his best friend had feelings for. But to hear something like this from Maiko Shu...no...it was unexpected, but not completely implausible. Although he was a pervert and an enemy to women everywhere, he wasn't actually a bad person...

"Hm? Are you alright, Ruri-chan? Your face is all red."

"I-It's nothing," said Ruri, turning her face away.

"Ara~~~~~ is it really nothing?" said Shu, an eager smile appearing on his face. "It seems like you're trying to hide something..."

"What would I be hiding right now, you...!" said Ruri, trying to shove Shu away again as he popped up all around, examining her from every angle. "This is why you're a pest, Maiko-ku-"

_Hm?_

_Oh...?_

* * *

_Back to the present~_

The two of them had seen something move in the corner of their eye. It had been in the space underneath the stairway, away from the black suits' sight. However, it was still unthinkable that she had been lying underneath the stairs this entire time...

"He's human trash. The worst kind of guy," said Ruri, a look of pure disgust appearing on her face.

"Now, now...let's not be so harsh on him. Although, this is pretty cruel, Raku..." said Shu, feeling a little embarrassed for his friend.

Lying underneath the stairway, abandoned in the heat of the moment, was the sleeping figure of Tachibana Marika.

"I've lost all respect for Ichijou-kun," said Ruri, sighing. "How could he just leave her here?"

"Well, there was a lot of stuff going on, so it's understandable," said Shu, walking over to Marika. "In any case, we should get her out of here. We can't be sure that the black suits aren't after her and it's too dangerous to leave her here all alone."

"I'll carry her," said Ruri, sensing a detestable aura coming from Shu.

"No way, Ruri-chan~ I can't let you carry her," said Shu, lifting Marika into his arms.

"Maiko-kun, for the sake of Tachibana's sanctity...what little of it is left..." started Ruri, reaching over for Marika.

"Sorry, Ruri-chan," said Shu, twisting away from her. "But there's no way I can let a girl do so much work. It's not manly at all."

"You _aren't_ manly."

"Ahaha, but I have to look the part at least," said Shu. "Someone told me that I'll be a good man in the future."

"Someone...?"

"Let's go, Ruri-chan! Off to join the others," said Shu, stepping forward and looking back at Ruri. "I wouldn't want something to happen to cute Ruri-chan also-"

_...Hm?_

His cheek was pinched by two soft fingers and pulled. Silky strands of black hair brushed past him.

"Well then? Hurry up, Maiko-kun," said Ruri.

"Ah...yeah..." said Maiko. He put a hand up to the warm, red spot on his face, a rare moment where Maiko Shu was thrown off.

That sort of brush-off. It was clear who he was thinking about when he had said it. And maybe it was true that he would become one inside and out in the future. When he became an adult and dropped this childish act of trying to act mature-

But even so...

Ruri walked briskly ahead, her face glowing. It wasn't that she was jealous or anything. She just wanted to him to know about her acknowledgement as well.

That perhaps...Maiko Shu was already a good man.


	14. A Small Hope

**The Plan**

_Part Thirteen  
_

* * *

Sitting while facing each other, Ichijou Raku and Onodera Kosaki both had the same opinion of the room.

Small and cramped.

The room that Maiko Shu and his comrades had made was not much more than a cubical enclosure. Although simple, the room had been meticulously sanded down to ensure that there were no rough spots to hurt yourself with. In addition, ventilation was provided through thin slices in the walls and ceiling, through which both light and air filtered through.

Small and cramped, but perhaps also cozy in a way. However, for Raku and Kosaki, it was like being perched on the highest mountain.

"S-Sorry Onodera!" said Raku for the fifth time as his leg involuntarily brushed against Kosaki's.

"N-No. I-It's my fault!" said Kosaki, shifting her leg to accommodate Raku. Her foot touched the inside of Raku's thigh.

"Hiii!"

"E-Eh!? Ichijou-kun!? What's wrong?"

"Ah...no...it's nothing..." said Raku, trying to calm himself down. What was that!? It wasn't like he had the inside of his thigh touched regularly, but his body had reacted more violently than he had expected. A shiver had run through his whole body and an embarrassing voice had escaped from his mouth. Raku tried to move his thigh away from Kosaki's foot.

"KYAH!"

"O-Onodera!? What's wrong!? Did I hurt you?"

"N-No...that's..." said Kosaki, her face glowing so red that she was sure that Raku could see it in the darkness. She covered her face and tried to shift her body away. Raku's ankle had pushed up inside her skirt.

_This is bad..._thought Raku as their limbs continued to tangle together. The space was just large enough that they could sit with their backs to the wall; however, this left no space for their legs even when they kept them bent. Every little movement had Raku's legs touch a little more of Kosaki's legs. Raku felt like he was going to pass out from the battle raging inside his head. Pure bliss at feeling Kosaki's soft skin in brief pecks; insane embarrassment as Kosaki unknowingly inched into Raku's most sensitive areas; immeasurable guilt at putting Kosaki in such a shameful position.

Raku wanted to curse Shu for placing them in this situation, but at the same time, his heart was ready to bow down in gratitude to the masterful strategist.

_Damn you, Shu!_

_Why do you do this to me!? I mean, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!_

Kosaki was having an equally intense battle of emotions. At her core, Kosaki was a wholesome, soft-natured, young girl. There were those that referred to her as a "healing angel," an existence that warmed the soul and calmed people's weariness. However, it wasn't like Kosaki was a saint; like others her age, lewd thoughts crossed her mind. Naughty, even scandalous dreams and fantasies, urges that sometimes made her uncharacteristically aggressive in her actions; Onodera Kosaki had all the feelings of a girl in love, including those that weren't so innocent.

As much as Kosaki sometimes wanted to act on these emotions, her common sense held her back. She had a sense of dignity as a woman, but at the same time, she also did not feel prepared to take such daring steps. After all, she was still just a high school student. She hadn't even had her first kiss yet. Holding hands, little hugs, these gestures of affection had been chanced upon her in accidents and coincidences.

It wasn't that Kosaki didn't want to do those kinds of things. It wasn't like she wasn't aware of them. However, she did not have the courage to act on them. She did not want to be seen in that light by Ichijou Raku, such a shameless, unfiltered part of her self exposed so readily. Even though she loved Raku, even though she desperately wanted to convey her feelings to him, there was no way that she could do something like stand in front of Raku, naked, right at this moment. In a similar fashion, Onodera Kosaki could not expose her bare heart to him.

But, Onodera Kosaki was still a young girl. She was still a maiden in love, both the good and the dark sides. As such, as Ichijou Raku's legs tunneled deeper into the depths of her skirt, wild thoughts began to race through Kosaki's head.

"Hawawawawa~" said Kosaki, her face steaming up and her eyes spinning. No, she couldn't think that! Could Ichijou-kun tell what she was thinking? It had to be all over her face. Even if she covered it up, he could tell! She knew he could, it was emanating out of her!

"Eh? Could this be...Onodera's..." said Raku as he felt his foot touch something soft, much softer than anything else so far. "UWAAAH!"

"Ichijou-kun!?"

"Ah..." groaned Raku, cringing as pain whizzed through his head. The intensity of his emotions had caused him to reel his head back and crack it against the wall. This was crazy. This was insane! He couldn't keep this up. He was so close to Kosaki! His foot was in places that it had no right to be in! He couldn't bear to look at Kosaki's face. What if she was disgusted at him? He was invading her in ways that would be considered criminal! If he looked into Kosaki's eyes right now, he was sure that he would die.

A sign that would make Raku feel like borderline sexual molestation was a-ok; such a thing couldn't possibly exist in the Onodera Kosaki he knew.

_Damn it...there has to be a better way, _thought Raku as he tried to rub the pain away from the back of his head. _Maybe if we try a different position..._

"Onodera. Let's try lying on our sides. Maybe we'll have more room that way."

"O-Ok!"

In their rush to get out of physical contact from each other, the two Bonyari students flung themselves onto their sides.

And smacked their heads on the opposite wall. The two of them winced, clutching their heads with shaking hands.

"Ok...that didn't work," said Raku, his eyes watering. Kosaki gave a small laugh. Oh, it seemed like she wasn't mad at him after all. Maybe she understood that he hadn't been doing those things on purpose. Raku wanted to cry at the generosity of Kosaki's empathetic heart. "Let's try something else, Onodera."

"Yeah."

The two of them tried to sit side by side with their legs out in front of them. However, the space forced them to sit shoulder-to-shoulder, their legs touching, their fingers separated only by a sliver of thin air. Although it was more comfortable than their initial positions, the two of them both agreed that for some strange reason, this position just didn't feel right. Unable to look at each other because of how red their faces were, the two tried to figure out some other position.

"Ow!" said Raku as Kosaki accidentally kicked him.

"I'm so sorry, Ichijou-kun!"

"No...it's ok. I'm fi-"

"OW!"

"Onodera!"

"I...I'm ok..." said Kosaki, clenching her stomach. _I KICKED ONODERA!_ How could he do that!? Stupid, STUPID! He hadn't been careful enough. Of all the things he could've done! He could've tapped her gently on the hip. He could've accidentally brushed against her breast. He could've knocked their foreheads against each other. But no! Oh no, this stupid idiot beansprout had to KICK HER in the stomach!

It was one of the rare moments in Raku's life where he wished Chitoge was around to beat him up.

"Ichijou-kun?" said Kosaki as Raku cried to himself silently. "Ichijou-kun. Are you ok?"

"I'm so sorry, Onodera..."

"It's ok! I'm fine, really!" said Kosaki, trying to reach out to find Raku. She knew that it had been an accident, but judging from Raku's voice, it sounded like he was really taking it hard. Without realizing it, her hand was searching through the darkness, trying to touch and comfort him. "Ichijou-kun?"

"Onodera? Where are you?"

"Over here!"

Their voices echoed in the small space. Raku tried to stand on his feet so that he could turn around, but his body ended up blocking all the light. He couldn't see a damn thing. He reached his hand out behind him, trying to feel around for Kosaki.

"Onodera!"

"Ichijou-kun!"

Their hands waved over each other without touching. But they could feel the displacement of air. They tried reaching for each other again, trying to find each other in the darkness while squatting in the cramped space-

"Ah!"

"Wah!"

The two of them lost their balance and fell backwards into each other. Having been turned around, Onodera Kosaki and Ichijou Raku landed on their butts, their backs pressing into each other-

Silence. The contact between them cut the words that were in their throats. They could only hear the gentle rhythm of their breaths trying to settle.

_Onodera is..._

_Ichijou-kun's..._

Raku gulped. With each and every breath, he felt Kosaki's delicate back rise into his. He felt her pressing into him, his spine and ribs being gently stroked by her soft weight.

Kosaki couldn't stop trembling. She could feel warmth from Raku's wide back. It was firm against hers, a smooth, supple embrace that caressed the curve of her back.

The two sat together, back-to-back, their breathing gradually matching the rise of each other's bodies. Neither of them wanted to say a word. It was a moment that the two had never experienced together, a moment where it seemed like they were more deeply connected than ever before.

Neither wanted to break it. They wanted it to last as long as possible. They sat there, their thoughts melting away into nothingness. Sitting blankly, just pressing into one another, Ichijou Raku and Onodera Kosaki felt the waves of their unspoken romance finally relax.

A minute passed. Five minutes. Ten. Or perhaps more. At some point, they stopped caring about time. They didn't question why the other had suddenly gotten silent. They didn't wonder why the person they loved didn't show any adverse reaction to being in such close contact. The two of them stayed in that blissful trance, like the kind lull of a warm blanket wrapped around you; like the soothing flow that spread through you when you drank hot chocolate on a winter day. It was comforting. It was peaceful.

For Onodera Kosaki, it was something she wanted to last forever. She wanted it to surround her, to cling to it and press her cheeks against its assuring touch. Her body, desiring more, pressed back until it was fully touching Raku's. Her hand inched back, her palm lightly bumping into his.

"Ichijou-kun..." murmured Kosaki, her eyes half-lidded with happiness.

"S-Sorry, Onodera," said Raku, his senses returning to him slightly. But he didn't move. Because Kosaki didn't move. He didn't know why, but he didn't care. He just wanted to stay like this, this dream-like scenario.

Inside of her, an irrational, impatient part of Onodera was prodding at her. It was urging her to confess. This moment, it was a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Would there ever be a better mood? A better opportunity? Where no one would interrupt them, where nothing could possibly happen that could stop her from revealing her feelings once and for all-

But Kosaki bit her lip. She didn't want to say it. She didn't want to ruin this moment. By talking, she would lose it. This moment where she was connected with Raku. The closest that she had ever been with him. Her mind argued back, telling her to sacrifice this moment for a lifetime of moments. A future where the two of them would be together, happier than now, closer than now.

Raku felt his teeth clench. He couldn't do it. He couldn't say it. No matter how much his heart ached to do it, no matter how much those words struggled behind his lips. Was he scared? Was he nervous? It was everything. Having been given this moment where everything was right, a taste of all that could happen if she was to return his feelings, it frightened Ichijou Raku. It frightened him because he finally became aware of what was at stake. For the first time, Ichijou Raku saw the depths of his heart as clearly as a mirror.

_I love Onodera Kosaki._

_I love Ichijou Raku._

_I don't-_

_want to lose him-_

_I don't want to-_

_lose our time together-_

_Ruin it-_

_Break it-_

_I want to-_

_keep loving him-_

_I don't want to stop loving her-_

_I don't want to have to give up on him-_

_I can't-_

_These feelings-_

And then, it was gone. The moment ended. The two hunched over their knees, separating their backs.

It was too frightening. The thought of losing what they had. Of being forced to give it up. Even if it was just an illusion, even if it was a meaningless hope-

They wanted to hold onto it. And so, they backed away from it. They decided to look at it from afar, to try and keep hidden underneath its glow.

Unnoticed. Meek.

Basking in the eternity of youth.

"Say...Onodera?"

"Yes...?"

"...I know this is sudden, but do you remember when we worked for your aunt at the hot springs inn? That conversation we had together in the bath..."

_Why did you say that you would be happy if I was your first love?_

Kosaki's heart squeezed. It scared her. It was like he had suddenly torn away a piece of the shell that was covering her heart.

"That's..."

"About that question I asked you...can you forget about it?"

"Eh?" Kosaki turned her head in surprise. What did he say? Forget it? Why? Why would he say that?

"Uh...it's just that..." started Raku, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. "It wasn't fair to ask you something like that. Asking about someone's first love...it wasn't very manly of me."

"What do you mean?"

"I...I wanted to hear your answer because I was hoping it would answer something I wanted to know. I thought I needed to know it...that it was important..." said Raku, scratching his head. "But now...I feel like I was doing it all wrong."

Fear. That had been what stopped Raku. The fear of rejection. The fear of losing his bond with Onodera Kosaki. In other words, he had been a coward. He had run away from the moment, from that single amazing burst of happiness. It was then that Raku had realized why he hadn't been able to take a step forward. He had always wanted to confess to Kosaki, but he had never actually made moves towards it. Because he had always been afraid. He had tried to look as far as possible and at the slightest sign of danger, he had bolted.

Sitting there with Kosaki, he could've confessed. In fact, at that moment, he had felt like Kosaki would've returned his feelings. He felt as if she had tried to reach out to him in her own way. He didn't know if it was a delusion or if it was just foolish wishing on his part. But it hadn't been "reality" that brought him back; no, it had just been his own worthless, cowardly thoughts.

"Onodera. There's something I want to tell you," said Raku. He turned around to face Kosaki. A small shaft of light played on her face, revealing her light, brown eyes, glimmering against the soft shadows. Seeing her face, Raku's chest tightened with fear again. _Don't say it! You're not ready. You're not close enough. You're just friends! You'll ruin everything!_

Yes, he was scared. He was so scared that, right now, he would rather face the entire Beehive Gang by himself.

But...

As scared as he was...

He couldn't lie to himself.

He loved Onodera Kosaki.

And he wanted to be deserving of her.

"Ichijou-kun...?"

"Onodera," said Raku, his eyes locked onto hers. _That's right...I won't be afraid anymore. I won't be reckless, but I won't be held back by my fears either._ "I want to tell you. It's the most important thing I'll ever tell anyone. So...please."

He had never looked at her so directly before. He knew that his emotions were on his face, that his feelings were being reflected in her eyes.

"I...I still have a ways to go. But I promise to tell you, face to face. So when I do...will you hear me out?"

"Yeah. I will," said Kosaki, smiling. "I'll always be there to hear you out."

"Onodera..." said Raku, feeling his heart swell. "Hehe...sorry for getting all serious. It's just...you know, being in here with you made me thin-"

It broke.

It broke into pieces.

The wall behind Ichijou Raku.

Completely disappeared.

Small pieces of debris scattered into the room. Snapped wires and ventilation fluff were dancing in the air. Cool wind rushed into the hidden room, blasting away all the warmth and feelings that had been floating around.

"W-What..."

Destroyed. Something had cut through a section of the school, like a drill piercing to the heavens.


	15. Plot Armor

**The Plan**

_Part Fourteen  
_

* * *

_KILL. KILL. KILL._

_I'LL KILL HER._

_I'LL FUCKING MURDER HER!_

Rage. Violence. Madness. Her blood was pumping through her head. Her vision had turned red, focused only on the little girl in front of her.

_KILL HER!_

_KILL! HER!_

She kept seeing Tsugumi's broken body, the blood on her face, the darkness in her eyes, the limpness of her body-

_I need to get her to a hospital-_

_I need to find a way out of here-_

_I need to save Tsugumi-_

None of these thoughts crossed her mind. They were pushed out, banished to the deepest corners by her rage. Tsugumi had been hurt. She might even be dying...or already dead. Chitoge's mind was in shock. It couldn't understand what had happened.

So only her body remained. A body filled with throbbing fury, fixated on just a single goal-

_KILL!_

_I'LL KILL HER!_

"Is that right?"

Step. Step. Step. She was already in front of the girl.

"And how exactly-"

Her fist was balled up, blood streaming from her palm-

"-are you going to kill m-"

Up. UP. UP!

Her fist swung through the air at lightning speed!

The labcoat's eyes widened as she saw the flicker, just the air seeming to shimmer in front of her-

Hm? But she was just talking to Kirisaki Chitoge-

_BOOM!_

It was as if the air exploded. Chitoge's fist smashed into the labcoat girl, the girl's cheeks rippling as the blow lifted her off the ground, head twisting into the air, the ground cracking from the reactionary force pulsing off Chitoge's body.

_CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!_

At the last moment, she had slackened her jaw. But even then, she could feel the bone fracturing. She could feel blood spitting out from her gums. But worst of all was the sound. The animal-like roar that came from Chitoge as she beat the girl into the air. It rattled into her heart, as if a tiger had chomped down on her chest.

A blow full of rage. A soul-shattering blow.

But it wasn't enough.

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!"

A second blow. Even before the labcoat girl fell back onto the ground, she was blown higher into the air-

A third blow. Even before she could move more than an inch upwards, she was flying backwards-

A fourth blow. A fifth blow. A sixth blow.

Raining down on her. Chitoge flew through the hallway like a missile, the labcoat girl the nose of the rocket-

"DOOODDGE TO THE SIIDEEEE-!"

The black suits were blasted into the wall as Chitoge and the labcoat girl zoomed past them. From the speeding rush, there was the sound of flesh hitting flesh, dull whumps that escalated into a machinegun barrage.

"AHHH! AHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

They collided into the opposite wall, but Chitoge didn't stop. She flung fist after fist, siphoning all of her rage into increasing her speed, increasing the number of times she hit this girl. Make her feel the pain that Tsugumi felt, make her feel the pain that she felt, a thousand, no, a billion-fold! Until everything in her mind was released in her fists, until she could reverse time itself with the ferocity of her blows!

Flecks of blood flew into the air. Chitoge was punching so quickly that the resistance of her skin was failing- her bruised fists were now crackling apart, little scratches turning into bloody gashes as she punched, punched, punched, PUNCHED-

Her scream intensified. The black suits couldn't even move because of how strong her killing intent was. They were submerged, pressed down to such an extent that they couldn't even rise onto their feet. The pressure, the emotions blasting from Chitoge, it burned them like a meteor crushing their backs-

Then it hit her. Like a knife, clarity suddenly cut through the blood mist. She felt the strength that she had been using, overusing, wearing out the very limits of her body, disappear. Her fists slowed to a stop and her legs began to shake. Her logical thoughts, her worry for Tsugumi, it all came flooding back in.

_Ow._

_It hurts._

_My hands hurt._

_Tsugumi is hurting too-_

_I have to go get Tsugumi-_

_But what if it's too late?_

_No, she was still breathing-_

_But what if she was just barely breathing? Then that means I left her-_

_I let her die-_

_I killed Tsugumi-_

_No, that girl-_

_It was all that girl's fau-_

_It's my fau-_

_I have to help Tsugu-_

_My hands hu-_

Breathe. She had to breathe. She took in deep breath after breath, her body trembling as her mind overflowed with thoughts. She held her bleeding hands up to her head, clenching her eyes shut, trying to silence everything down-

_Eh?_

_What was I..._

_What am I doing?_

Chitoge opened her eyes. The dust was clearing. In front of her were massive holes in the wall, her blood splattered onto them.

_Huh?_

_But wasn't I just hitting that gi-_

"Finally my turn?"

_WHAM!_

An intense flash of pain from the right side of her head. Her head flung into the wall, nearly snapping her neck in the process. She stumbled against it, tasting iron in her mouth, her vision blurry and her body feeling like the whole world was rocking.

_Ahhh-_

_Who-_

_What just-_

More pain struck her in the chest. Her back crashed into the wall, knocking the air out of her. She coughed up a mixture of spit and blood and sank to her knees.

"Ahh? What's wrong? Haven't hit the wall enough, you bitch!"

The labcoat girl cracked Chitoge's forehead against her knee. Chitoge hit the wall again, then slumped forward, spots in her eyes.

"I thought! You were! Going to! Kill me!" said the girl, kicking Chitoge in the face with each outburst. Chitoge's hands moved on their own, grabbing at the girl's foot after the last kick. But the labcoat girl jerked her foot away, pulling Chitoge forward right into her fist.

Chitoge cried out as she hit the wall a third time. This time, her body crumpled and she laid against the wall, too weak to support herself. The labcoat girl, panting hard, stepped forward and dragged Chitoge up by the hair.

"That's not all, is it? You've got more, way more, much much more left, don't you!?" said the girl, her manic eyes drilling into Chitoge's. "Weren't you mad at me? Weren't you trying to get back at me for tearing up your friend there? Ah? You damn useless bitch!"

The labcoat girl flung Chitoge away. She stepped towards her and began kicking her viciously in the stomach.

"That's why you're just a damn brat! You don't know shit! You can't do shit! You're just a waste of air, you damn shit!" said the girl with each kick. Chitoge coughed as bursts of air were forced out of her. She grabbed at the foot again, but this time, when she was pulled away, Chitoge let her body move along with it.

"GRAHHH!"

She used the momentum from the movement to force her body up and punch the girl in the face. Staggering past her, Chitoge twisted around to hit her again. The labcoat girl stumbled backwards, but then ground her weight into her back leg and pushed forward. She slammed into Chitoge with all her weight and forced her back. As Chitoge tried to regain her balance, the labcoat girl threw herself completely into the air and punched Chitoge again.

"Is that all you've got!?" shouted the girl, fury etched into her face. "I asked you! IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT!"

Chitoge was on the ground, her knee and hand down, just barely keeping her up. But now, her eyes were sharp and clear. Pain had forced her back into reality. This wasn't the time to lose her head. Sure, it was fine if she was beating the beansprout or a bunch of goons. But this girl was different. She was on the level of professional hitmen like Claude.

And something about her was off. Escaping from Chitoge's onslaught wasn't a particularly difficult task; after all, Chitoge had literally been blind with rage. However, escaping without being noticed at all by Chitoge, whose entire body had been focused on crushing this girl; that was the mark of high skill.

Little by little, Chitoge's disordered thoughts were coming together. The labcoat girl had definitely been attacking with a level-head in the beginning. Targeting a blow to Chitoge's head to make her disorientated, then attacking in such a way to keep her breathing low. It was a hundred times more effective than disabling limbs. But after that, she had simply attacked rashly, as if her new goal had just been to inflict as much pain as possible on Chitoge. She had gone berserk, just as Chitoge had. But why? Wasn't her purpose to stop Chitoge?

_Actually..._

Who was this girl anyways? What was she trying to accomplish?

They had just attacked the school for no reason. Put everyone in danger for no reason.

What had she said before?

Plot progression?

What was she talking about?

"Hey, you," said Chitoge, looking up at the labcoat girl. The pain was starting to fade, but Chitoge's voice was still shaky. "Who are you? Why are you attacking us?"

The labcoat girl's face went blank. It was like someone had taken a cloth and wiped all the expression of her face. Every muscle went slack and, for just a moment, she looked like a real little girl, perhaps one that was struggling with a hard math problem.

But then rage entered her face, more intense than before. With her teeth gnashing and her skin drawn taut-

"THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOTHING BUT SHIT, KIRISAKI CHITOGE!"

The labcoat girl threw a fist at Chitoge. But this time, Chitoge was in control. She used the hand and knee that she had been leaning on to propel her backwards. The labcoat girl's fist hit empty air, but still created a crater in the ground through sheer force.

"What's wrong? Suddenly found a brain, Kirisaki?" said the labcoat girl, stepping out of the crater. Chitoge ignored the taunt and slowly made her way back to Tsugumi's body.

_Ok. Good._

She wasn't in as bad a shape as she thought. The blow to the head might be some cause of concern, but it didn't feel like there was any serious breakage or internal bleeding happening. But this still needed medical attention. Even if everything looked fine, there was no telling how much damage the brain might've suffered from being knocked around in the skull.

Chitoge quickly took out her phone and checked her texts. The beansprout and Kosaki-chan were still fine. So were Ruri and Shu. They seemed to have picked up Marika. From the status updates in the school message feed, Yui was evacuating a couple floors below them.

_Damn it..._

There was no one nearby. And she couldn't take Tsugumi away herself, not without leading this insane brat back to the students. Nor could she just leave Tsugumi here. She had to assume the worst if this girl was out of her mind. And after taking all of those blows, Chitoge wasn't in any state to worry about others during a fight.

_Calm down...stay calm. You've lived your entire life surrounded by the mafia. Crisis is no problem._

Chitoge smiled. It was something like the beansprout would say. Really, just how lovesick was she? To think about that guy during a situation like this...

_Are you an idiot!? Like hell I can sit back while you're getting hurt! Its times like this where the man has to step up for the woman, isn't it?_

Yeah. Something like that. Even though he was a super weak beansprout. Even though he probably couldn't even last ten seconds against one of these black suits. Even though he'd probably be shaking and almost wetting his pants while he stood in front of her, trying to protect her. Stupid. What an idiot. Wasn't he ashamed to look like that? She didn't need protecting. It was the other way around.

But even then...

He'd still...

The labcoat girl attacked again. Chitoge blocked the punch with her arm and flicked upwards. The girl went spinning into the air, unable to control her movement. With the speed and technique of a high school girl, Chitoge began typing in a text with one hand while leaping forward and smashing the girl away with a roundhouse kick.

_I'll leave Tsugumi to you._

Only one person had the speed to get here in time. The flexibility to appear here in an instant for Tsugumi's sake. And someone who would have the knowledge to assess Tsugumi's current condition-

"BLACK TIGER!"

Paula crashed into the hallway through a window with Haru tearfully clinging to her neck.

"Again..." breathed the labcoat girl, shaking. "What the hell...again...?"

"Paula! Take care of Tsugumi!" said Chitoge.

"Damn plot armor...you think I'll let you have your way!" shouted the labcoat girl, dashing forward with such speed that the air displacement sounded like a jet passing by. But Chitoge flung out her arm and caught the girl in a beautiful clothesline.

"I'm sorry, Lady Chitoge! But we can't be sure if Black Tiger has spinal trauma," said Paula, checking Tsugumi's body carefully. "It may be dangerous to move her."

_What?_

Chitoge bit her lip. If that was the case, then...

"I-I'll look after her! Paula-san, please go help Kirisaki-senpai!" said Haru.

"Onodera Haru...you-"

"I'm counting on you, Haru-chan!" said Chitoge, unable to make any other decision. Paula nodded and joined the fray.

"What the hell is this..." said the labcoat girl as both girls charged at her. "I was so close...I broke Tsugumi Seishirou, I was crushing Kirisaki Chitoge, but now..."

The labcoat girl threw a punch with such power that Chitoge and Paula's charge was blown back.

"IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH!? How far...just how far do I have to go, YOU DAMN PLOT!" roared the girl, the windows and lights shattering from the volume of her voice.

"Paula, from both sides!" said Chitoge.

"Yes, my Lady!"

The two jumped onto the walls to dodge the falling glass debris and leapt into a pincer attack on the girl. But the girl blasted them back to the walls with two swings of her arms. Chitoge and Paula hit and bounced off the walls, tumbling back into the center, where the labcoat girl was ready with another punch.

_BOOM!_

Chitoge and Paul were blown away past Haru, rolling on the ground until they reached the opposite wall. The labcoat girl panted, sweat pouring down her disheveled hair.

"Black suits! Get up now!" said the labcoat girl, wiping her face.

"B-Boss! We're all injured. A lot of us can't even get onto our fee-"

"**Shut your mouth**," said the labcoat girl, her voice bleeding with venom. "**Get. Up.**"

The black suits shivered at the chill in her voice. They staggered to their feet, holding onto the walls for support.

"Well, Kirisaki Chitoge. As expected of the main character. You've done well in getting this far," said the labcoat girl, sweeping her hair back with her hands, stray strands falling back across her eyes. "But this is all very ordinary. Very cliche. Of course, no matter how detrimental, the plot will side with you in the end."

"Like I said before, what are you talking about, you damn brat!" said Chitoge, getting back onto her feet.

"Look at this," said the labcoat girl, spreading her arms out. "Do you see this? I have an army behind me. I've spent years building up my forces to the extent that I could demolish your school in an instant, if I wanted to. My body is stronger than a hitman's, nearing supernatural levels in fact. This is my life's work, this body, this 'Shield of False Love.' I've done everything I could to perpetuate this lie of yours, this cliche-ridden cocktease of a world!"

Chitoge couldn't understand. She was listening carefully, trying to figure out what this girl's objective was, but it was all gibberish to her.

"You don't understand a thing, do you? But of course you don't. That plot armor won't let you. That massive shield that I see right before me, always taunting me, laughing at me safely on that side," said the labcoat girl, her lip curling. "How miraculous! Look! Even a fatal blow to the head by a giant robot isn't enough to kill Tsugumi Seishirou! Because she can't die in this place. None of you can die in this place!"

The labcoat girl pointed at Chitoge with an accusing finger.

"It's as if you've all entered God's territory. Isn't that cheating, huh?" said the labcoat girl, a smirk appearing on her face. "Just how many TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO CHEAT BEFORE YOU'RE SATISFIED!"

"What the hell are you talking abou-!"

"I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW!" screamed the girl. "There'd be no damn point if you knew! Do you get it, Kirisaki Chitoge? This ridiculous illusion we live in? No, you don't. And that's how perfect it is. That's how perfectly_ I_ have maintained it. And I will continue to do that. I will pour every drop of sweat and blood I have into keeping this world frozen in place."

She stomped her foot and shook her head like an angry toddler.

"Do you hear me!? I won't let any of this end! You guys will continue on this boring, happy-go-lucky life until you fucking die!" said the labcoat girl, her face red and her tiny chest puffing.

"This person has cracked," said Paula, moving in front of Tsugumi's body.

"I know. That's why we have to bring her down," said Chitoge, tightening her stance.

"Right. I'm insane," said the labcoat girl, laughing at the irony of it. Insane for trying to keep insane things from happening to this perfect world. It really was a laugh! "But that's fine. All of it is fine. Just as long as this world does what I want!"

The labcoat girl stepped forward again, her eyes gleaming with emotion-

"I will break that plot armor of yours! You will taste reality! I'll show you that hard work and guts will break down everything that protects you! If you're invincible because you're the main character, then I just have to be as strong as a main character!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT-"

"KIRISAKI CHITOGE, YOU AREN'T IN GOD'S HANDS ANYMORE. YOU'RE IN MIN-"

_BANG!_

A piercing sound. Loud, yes, but that wasn't why. It pierced because it was unnatural. It was unheard of in this school, except in a comical light. But this was not a situation where it would do no damage. This was not a situation where it would miss and everything would go just as things had been.

So it did not miss. It did not fail to damage.

The bullet went straight into Kirisaki Chitoge's chest.

"...Huh?"

Every eye was on Chitoge. She fell back, her beautiful golden hair trailing into the air, like a heavenly spirit being pulled out-

Her body hit the ground with a thud.

"K-Kirisaki-senpai...?"

"My Lady..."

But Chitoge didn't respond to their words. A small trail of smoke floated up from where the bullet had pierced through her uniform.

"Ah..." said Haru, her throat locking up. _What...? Huh? Why? Why...Kirisaki-senpai-_

"Who..." said the labcoat girl, her eyes wide in shock. It hadn't been the black suits. They weren't even looking in her direction. They were all looking back at the stairway, where a new figure was standing-

A bundle of white fell onto the ground, cracked square-framed glasses clattering away from his face. Silver hair. A white suit.

And standing next to the defeated Claude, with a pistol in his hand, was the muscular body of Black Suit #459.

"Ah? What wrong?," said #459, grinning at them. "If you no like, you kill. Right, Boss?"


	16. Divine Shield

**The Plan**

_Part Fifteen_

* * *

"Hah? What was that? What did you just say, idiot? What just came out of that fucking shithole you call a mouth, you goddamn idiot!" said the labcoat girl. Kirisaki Chitoge was shot! A bullet straight through the chest!

_WHAT THE FUCK!_

"Hmm? Bitch die. Everything ok, Boss?" said #459, looking puzzled. Words jumbled up inside the labcoat girl's mouth. Her fist clenched and she began shaking with anger.

"Who told you...no...what kind of mental damage did you get to make you even consider for a moment that KILLING KIRISAKI CHITOGE WAS ALRIGHT!?" screamed the labcoat girl.

"Girl troublesome. So kill girl. Everything fine now, right Boss?" said #459, tilting his head.

"NO! NOTHING IS FINE, YOU GODDAMN RETARD!" said the labcoat girl. Her hand was tearing at her hair, her mind unable to understand the stupidity of what she was seeing. "Do you understand what you've done...?"

"Boss mad. Why you mad? I kill girl. Everything ok."

"YOU **CAN'T** KILL KIRISAKI CHITOGE!" said the labcoat girl. "You could've killed anyone else. You could've killed Tsugumi Seishirou. You could've killed Onodera Haru. Any one of those damn fodder characters would've been fine. But Onodera Kosaki and Kirisaki Chitoge, they're glues to Ichijou Raku! THIS WORLD CAN'T MOVE WITHOUT THEM. YOU CAN'T KILL THE PRIMARY PROTAGONIST, YOU FUCKING MORON!"

"Ah? But *uuka did. So it fine, Boss."

_BANG!_

#459 stepped to the side, easily dodging the bullet that whistled past him. He eyed the white-haired girl that had just fired the shot.

"You bastard...I won't forgive you!" said Paula, her face contorting.

"Shut up. Grown-ups talking," said #459. Paula fired two more shots at him, but missed as the muscular black suit dodged again.

"Ah, little girl annoying," said #459. With superhuman speed, the black suit cleared the distance between the two of them in an instant. Paula had just enough time to appear shocked before #459 thrust his fist at her body.

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

The noise was deafening. The force of #459's punch scattered the floor tiles, debris blasting forward like they were in a raging tornado. Paula barely avoided the blow, but she was still blown away, spinning. She twisted her body to stabilize herself and dug her feet into the floor. She slid to a stop at the other end of the hallway, her clothes torn in places from the shrapnel.

"P-Paula-san..." said Haru, her face pale. That was all she could say. One part of her mind was frozen from the shock of Chitoge being shot right next to her. The other was grossly aware of the hulking mountain that had just obliterated an entire hallway, standing just inches to her left.

"MM...feel like blondie," said #459, eyes turning to Haru. "Maybe kill you too?"

Haru's mouth dried up. The fear she felt now was nothing like the fear she had felt when the black suits had been chasing her. Her entire body shut down. Her mind was too afraid to even have a thought.

"#459! I order you to stand down!" yelled the labcoat girl. This was bad. She had known that #459 was strong, but this wasn't just your average musclehead. The destruction that he had caused in just a single hit...it was the force of a monster. All of her senses were shrieking at her to run away.

"Ah? Why? No like any of them, right Boss? So just kill them," said #459.

"STOP SAYING THAT! We were never here to kill them!" said the labcoat girl, desperation in her voice now.

"But you fight blondie. I see, you hate her," said #459.

"No! I didn't...that's not..." said the labcoat girl, fists clenched. No, there was no point getting into it now. She had to take control before the situation got out of hand. "You listen to me. It doesn't matter one way or the other what I was doing. I'm your Boss. You do what I say. Now, stand down!"

"Boss, feel ok? I think Boss not know what important," said #459. The labcoat girl wanted to scream. What was going on? Why the hell was this happening now? Who the fuck was this goddamn idiot that couldn't understand a simple thing like KILLING THE PEOPLE THAT CONTROLLED THE FATE OF THIS WORLD?

"For the last time..._stand down_," said the labcoat girl, her own killing intent rekindling. It washed over the hallway, sending shivers down everyone's spines.

"No, Boss," said #459, laughing. "Because you can't. So I do. That what I'm for."

"Enough. I'm trying to save the world and you're doing the exact opposite," said the labcoat girl, sweeping back her hair again. "So I'll just eliminate you."

"Save world? Wrong, right Boss? You no save world. You _want_ world," said #459. His hand moved over and picked Haru up by the collar of her uniform. She was lifted into the air, hands scrabbling uselessly against #459's grip as she choked. "World fun. Blondie no fun. This girl no fun. We kill them, we only have fun."

"Stop it!" said the labcoat girl.

"No good lie yourself, Boss," said #459, shaking Haru a little. "Be happy, that all. That best."

"You think this is going to make me happy!?" shouted the labcoat girl, crying now as Haru's body flopped around. "I just want this world to keep going! I want them all here! No fighting, no tears, no pain. Just this boring, this carefree cookie-cutter world!"

"Oh. My bad," said #459. He tossed Haru aside with a shrug. She cried out as she hit the wall. "Well, it ok. There other fun stuff."

"Oi. Musclefreak."

One of the black suits walked in front of the labcoat girl, hands in pockets, glaring at #459.

"#320! What are you doing?" said one of the black suits.

"I've got some questions to ask this guy," said #320. "I respect you #211, but don't interfere."

"#320? Senpai, huh? What I do for you?" said #459.

"You're our newest member, aren't you? Did you go to the orientation training sessions?" asked #320.

"Ah? No way. It boring."

"I see. Makes sense. Most of us didn't go either," said #320. "Now, answer this question. Who is the 'best girl' in Bonyari High School?"

"No care," said #459. "Think more fun to break them. What you think, Boss?"

The labcoat girl began to reply, but was silenced by #320's hand. A black suit, silencing the Boss! It was an unprecedented act. It was so unnatural a move that its effectiveness was doubled.

"You know, there's a reason most of us don't bother going to orientation training sessions," said #320. The other black suits had perked up at #459's answer. They began surging forward slowly. They dusted their suits, tore strips to bandage their wounds, and reset their bones with quick snaps. "There's a reason why the Boss doesn't punish us for not going. And that's because the orientation training sessions have a single purpose. This organization has _only one purpose._"

"Ah? What that?"

"LOVE!" roared the black suits in unison.

"WE LOVE THESE GIRLS," said #320, his eyes bulging. "WE LOVE THEM AND THE BOSS LOVES THEM. IT IS BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM THAT WE WANT TO SAVE THIS WORLD! But you...you don't have any love. I don't know how the hell you got into our organization, but without love, you're not a true member!"

"KIRISAKI CHITOGE IS BEST GIRL!"

"ONODERA KOSAKI IS THE KINDEST, WARMEST SOUL YOU'LL EVER FIND!"

"HUGE BOOBS!"

"MARIMARI FACTION, REPRESENT!"

"ALL FOR THE VALENCIA ORANGE!"

"YUI FOR LIFE!"

A clamor rose from the black suits. They drowned the hallway with their professions of love and admiration.

"So tell me this, you damn musclefreak," said #320, his suit flapping in front of the overflowing love coming from his comrades. "Do you have any love in you?"

"Nooooope," said #459, grinning expectantly. #320 took out a radio from the inside of his suit and held it up to his mouth.

"Yeah. We can't let this guy go," said #320, his eyes piercing. "Murder him."

A loud screech of feedback came from the announcement system.

"Ehem. All members of the 'Shield of False Love.' Kirisaki Chitoge was shot by #459. I repeat, Kirisaki Chitoge was shot by #459. He is kill-on-sight."

The announcer paused for a second to take a deep breath.

"FUCKING DESTROY HIM, NOW!"

Rumbling. The entire hallway, no, the entire school began to shake violently.

From every direction, a stream of black suits came in a stampede. Strangled, rage-soaked cries deafened the hallway.

Kirisaki Chitoge was Tsugumi Seishirou's best friend. She was one of Onodera Kosaki's closest companions. She was a rival to Tachibana Marika and a dear friend to Kanakura Yui.

If Ichijou Raku was the one that glued all of these people together-

It was Kirisaki Chitoge that had extended her hand out to embrace them.

No matter their preference-

No matter their favorite girl-

There was not a single black suit that would stay calm upon hearing that Kirisaki Chitoge had been shot.

"KILL! HIM!" shouted #320 as loudly as he could, with every last molecule of breath in his lungs. The reply from the charging black suits seemed to make the air itself shimmer. Leading the charge, #320 launched a flying sidekick at #459.

"Why you mad?" asked #459 as he easily grabbed #320 from the air. He snapped the black suit's leg and threw him away like a rotten branch. More black suits came at him from the side. He smashed one's jaw with his fist, elbowed one into the ceiling, and cracked another's shin with a jerk of his foot. The black suits swarmed over #459, their anger whirling around him like a mist of blood. But #459 did not fall. He walked through the swarm, swatting them aside or disabling them with the air of someone casually browsing a game store.

"GRAHH! Take this!" said one black suit, punching at #459's face. #459 chomped on his fist and swung the black suit's entire body out a window.

"I just having fun," said #459, not even looking as he punched faces, broke bones, and sent blood spraying into the air. "That whole point, right?"

The labcoat girl couldn't speak. He was demolishing them. Taking them apart as easily as he could breathe. Granted, the lower rank black suits were not fully combat-trained. However, there were still many seasoned fighters in the organization and several that were even stronger than she was. Professionals and masters alike. But this person...he was unstoppable.

_What do I do?_

_How do I stop him?_

She had to stop him. She had to. He was going to destroy everything. At this rate, it wouldn't just be Kirisaki Chitoge or Onodera Haru. At his whim, this beast would devour any of the priority targets.

_But...isn't that ok?_

_He's right, you know._

_You don't need all of them._

_Maybe they'll cry a little and be a little sad._

_But as long as Ichijou Raku is there..._

_In fact, this might be better. It'll be more exciting, won't it? More interesting? More unpredictable...it'll be a great change of pace. Yeah, this is good, isn't it? In fact, maybe people would prefer this. Maybe the world will actually live longer because of this. There are precedents. This kind of twist is good enough to make ratings go skyrocketing-_

"Heh. Don't mess with me," said the labcoat girl, her manic expression returning to her face. "If I wanted a world like that, I'd just go to *eo Kouji!"

She barged through the black suits in front of her and yelled at the top of her lungs-

"MOVE, YOU MORONS!"

She raised her foot and hit the floor with a massive stomp. The floor rippled like ocean waves and made #459 lose his footing. The black suits jumped in time with the wave, landing on their feet before #459 could regain his balance.

"NOW!"

The black suits aimed for every single inch of skin they could reach. Their hits made #459 cry out, his entire body smoking from the sheer number of blows.

"AHHHHHH!"

Paula dashed in for the finishing blow, slicing through him with a fierce axe kick. What was left of #459's suit exploded into scraps of fabric and the muscular giant finally fell to his knees.

"Kirisaki-senpai!" shouted Haru as she was carried off to safety by a black suit. But she didn't need to be worried; other black suits had picked up Tsugumi and Chitoge. But then, an explosion from the smoking figure blew them away, sending Tsugumi and Chitoge tumbling back onto the ground.

"GREAT! WE HAVING LOTS OF FUN!" said #459, spinning viciously. Black suits went flying in every direction, crashing through windows, hitting walls- The muscle man had become a hurricane of blows.

"Kh! That still wasn't enough?" said the labcoat girl, her leg bruised and swollen from the impact of her attack.

"Boss! We need you to retreat," said one of the black suits as wave after wave of his comrades were wrecked right in front of them. "Everything's over if you can't lead us!"

"Chitoge-chan!"

Suddenly, a shout came from the end of the hallway. Yui appeared, her hair in a mess from her frantic running. The spinning hurricane was getting closer to Tsugumi and Chitoge.

"Ie!" said Yui. In an instant, the small Char Siu bodyguard dove into the eye of the hurricane, blade flashing-

_CLANG!_

Ie's eyes widened as #459 snapped the blade with two fingers. He grabbed Ie by her head and then smashed her into the ground. Haru was screaming tearfully in the distance. Paula was coming back for another blow, but she was grabbed by the scarf and thrown into the wall. Yui raced forward, but a wave of black suits protected her from the massive chop that flung them all backwards-

Dust was everywhere. Glass shards were falling like sprinkles of snow. The announcement continued, urging more and more black suits to fight #459.

_...SHOT...GE! ...KILL-ON-SIGHT! I REPEAT..._

Her eyes flickered. There was a sound entering her ears. No, many sounds. Dulled and bleeding into one another. Her head was pounding with pain.

_...OGE...#459 HAS SHOT..._

"Ojou..."

"#459 HAS SHOT KIRISAKI CHITOGE!"

Tsugumi Seishirou's eyes ripped open.

"OJOUUUUU!"

#459 came to a halt as Tsugumi's fist plowed into his abdomen. He looked down, pain flashing across his face for the first time. A pistol appeared right in front of his nose.

Tsugumi let out a war cry as she fired the entire clip of bullets into #459's face, her finger pulling the trigger so quickly that the resulting build-up of heat ignited her ammunition. But #459 moved even faster still, tearing out a piece of broken window frame to deflect the bullets and the smoking pistol that Tsugumi slashed at him.

"OOPS!" said #459 gleefully as the scorching pistol spun towards Chitoge's body.

"BASTARD!"

Tsugumi kicked the pistol away and fired with her other pistol, this time aiming at the ceiling. The bullets cut a ring into it and an entire section collapsed on top of #459.

"BLACK TIGER!" called out Paula. As #459 raised his arms to clear the falling debris, both Tsugumi and Paula converged on him, their eyes burning.

"AAHHHHHHH!"

The two roared as white and black met in a spiraling crosscut, a flurry of wind and destruction radiating out from its center.

* * *

_Hmm...?_

_It's so noisy..._

_What happened?_

_What was...I doing?_

_Oh right..._

_I was fighting with that washboard brat..._

_And then..._

She had been shot. She remembered now. That ear-piercing noise, the acrid smell of gunpowder; they were things she had known her entire life. Even worse, she had felt the bullet impact against her chest. That meant she had been hit.

And being hit in the chest meant she was dead.

_I died..._

Perhaps it was because she was in shock. Or perhaps she was still in a stupor from switching from a living breathing body to whatever she was now. But Chitoge couldn't feel much. If anything, she just felt numb.

It was strange really. Maybe she thought she'd be a little more emotional when she died. Especially when she hadn't even graduated high school yet. But then again, it was surprising that she hadn't died before. The fight with the little girl had been brutal. She was sure that, at one point, her body had kept fighting even when she had passed out from pain and exhaustion.

_Heh. I really went all out, didn't I?_

In the end, she'd acted like a real gorilla girl. She could almost hear that beansprout's laughter. No...maybe not. He wasn't the kind of person that'd laugh at that kind of situation. But maybe he'd be exasperated by her actions. He'd shake his head and ask her why she overdid it. Then with that knowing look on his face that irritated her, he'd hold out a hand to help her up.

_Ahh...I just died and I'm still thinking about that guy?_

Lately, it seemed like he'd creep into her thoughts when she least expected it. Guess that's what it was like, being in love. It made her act crazy sometimes. Do stupid things. Being in love was a tiring, embarrassing, stressful thing. But at the same time, it was something that she didn't regret. Feeling warm and content from something small like a smile in her direction. Truthfully speaking, it really seemed stupid. The changes that happened to her as she fell in love with this guy. The expectations she held, the thoughts she had. But she treasured them. She never thought about letting them go, not in her heart anyways.

And maybe she wasn't the only one that felt that way. It felt like it had been a long time ago, but a certain memory came back to her. Being in the classroom with Raku in-between them. The simultaneous exclamation, the realization that had come as she had looked at Kosaki's expression-

_Kosaki-chan..._

_Did she like Raku?_

The question had been pushed to the back of her mind by the events that had happened today. But now that she was dead, she could think about it freely. And to be honest, it troubled her a little. Because she had promised Kosaki that she would support her love. They had promised that together, that one Valentine's day.

_Well...I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. But if Kosaki-chan did like him...then maybe it'll be ok._

For a moment, a nasty thought passed through Chitoge's mind. Kosaki was nice and sincere, one of the few people she knew that was really good-natured at heart. Thinking about it, she fit better with the beansprout. They both had that kind of quality, that self-sacrificing kindness that felt so genuine and special.

Maybe it was for the best that Chitoge had died.

But she immediately discarded that thought. No...even if she had thought it, it was nothing but a lie. She knew, because she could hear them yelling at her. Raku would say something like_ Don't ever say something like that! There's not a single good person that would think something like that about you!_ And Kosaki would say _No, Chitoge-chan! Don't say something so sad...it's not true at all!_

And they would mean every word of it.

Really...they were like a pair. And if Chitoge was still alive, she might consider giving up on Raku for Kosaki's sake.

No. She wouldn't do that. She couldn't do it. And even if she wanted to, she wouldn't. Because that would only hurt Kosaki. It wouldn't help her in any way.

_Sigh. Love is really complicated..._

She wondered if Tsugumi had these kinds of problems. There seemed to be someone she liked too. Did Tachibana Marika think about things like this? She was always being annoying with her love for Raku, but she was so straightforward that, sometimes, Chitoge felt a little jealous. But Raku never took her seriously. She wondered how she'd feel if he treated her like that if she had confessed.

...

She'd probably punch his lights out. But she could totally see it happening. Even though she was in love with him, it didn't change the fact that Raku could be such a dense idiot sometimes. But there were other times where he was pretty sharp and on point. It was really unexpected when he did that, but she had come to realize that he always tried to be considerate, in his own way. It was one of the parts that she loved about him so much.

...

Hmm...

Was that it?

She couldn't really think about anything else to think about it. Of course, there were plenty of things left over. Lots of regrets she had, lots of things she wished she could have told her friends, done with her friends. But she didn't want to think about them right now. It'd only depress her.

In the end, being dead was kind of boring. There were only her thoughts and memories. And if she didn't want to remember and if she didn't want to think, then there really was nothing else to do.

_I wonder if I'll be reincarnated..._

Or maybe there really was a heaven and hell. Was she in limbo? Oh, but there was limbo for reincarnation too, wasn't there...? What would she be reincarnated as? Maybe a dog...like the stray puppy she had taken care of before. Of course, she wouldn't be so ill-mannered. Well...for the most part. She might bite some annoying people. That's what dogs did, wasn't it?

...

Ugh. Look at her. Thinking about life as a dog. Death was really something. Maybe she could become a ghost...yeah. That'd be nice. She could haunt that beansprout. Maybe visit Kosaki-chan or Tsugumi in their dreams. Definitely haunt Marika. Haunt her hard. In fact, she might just haunt her everyday. Yeah, there was an idea! Maybe if she thought really hard about it, it'd work. _Ok, let's haunt Tachibana Marika...turn into a ghost, me..._

"Useless! Everything you do useless! You too weak! All weak!"

Ah? Who was that? That annoying voice...like someone with half a brain was talking...

"You'll pay for shooting Ojou!"

Hm? That sounded sort of like...Tsugumi?

"Black Tiger! Watch out!"

Oh...that was Paula. Ah, she kind of wished she'd gotten along a bit better with Paula. She was cute, like Haru, but they hadn't been as close.

"B-B-Breasts! I see breasts! Oh, look at that wonderful jiggle!"

Huh? What was this now?

"You idiot! Stop ogling at her breasts and help her!"

"I...I can't. They're mesmerizing. I...I think I'm in love. I'm in love with breasts!"

"That's what you said about Hirano Aya, you half-assed Romeo!"

"Hey! This is true love right here!"

"W-What do you think you're looking at!?"

"Oho...as expected of Black Tiger's weapons of mass destruction..."

"P-Paula! What are you saying!"

"Ah? Big boobs? Good job! Let see!"

"G-Get away from me, you bastard!"

"AH! Keep your hands off Black Tiger's national treasures!"

"THAT BASTARD! HE SHOT KIRISAKI CHITOGE AND NOW HE WANTS TO MONOPOLIZE TSUGUMI SEISHIROU'S TITS!?"

"WHHHAAATTT!? THAT'S UNFORGIVABLE, YOU SON OF A BIIITCCH!"

...Seriously. She had just died a couple minutes ago. Was this really the sort of conversation they should be having-

"HURRY, TSUGUMI SEISHIROU! POP THOSE KNOCKERS OUT AND DISTRACT HIM SO WE CAN DELIVER THE FINAL BLOW!"

"BOSS! YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND US!"

"Shut up, you idiots! This is for saving the world!"

"For a boob-hating person like Boss to actually request help from boobs...this is really a high-level battle!"

"STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BREASTS!"

Kh...these guys...

"HAHA! SHOW! SHOW! WEAKLINGS, I BE FIRST LOOK!"

"STOP THAT BASTARD! STOP HIM NOW! THIS IS A MATTER OF INTERSTELLAR IMPORTANCE!"

"Wait, the stakes rose that high!?"

"Hurry, Black Tiger! Just flash a little and he'll be blinded by those superweapons!"

"P-PAULA!"

"Tsugumi-senpai...you're really amazing..."

"O-Onodera Haru! You too!?"

_These guys..._

"AHHHH! THE BUTTONS CAME OFF! OH MY GOD, THEY'RE BULGING!"

"OW! MY EYE! MY EYEEEE! NOOO! I CAN'T SEE THE BOOOBS!"

"NOOO! Don't look!"

"Oh my, Tsugumi-chan~ you really grew since you were younger..."

_Stop it...stop..._

"SEISHIROU RADAR ACTIVATED! I CAN SEE IT! Such blinding brilliance! Those are truly sacred globes from a higher dimension, the plane of angels!"

"Maiko-kun. It seems like you're wasting those eyes of yours, so I'm sure you don't really need them..."

"Ah? Ruri-chan? That's a scary face...wait...where are you aiming those fingers at-!?"

"B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BBBBB-BBBRR-B-B-BBRRBREAAA-AAAGGHHH-"

"Oh no! #255 is having a stroke! All the blood has left his brain and gone straight to his-!"

"BOOOBBS. SHOW BOOBS. SHOOOOWWW!"

_STOP IT!_

_STOOOOOOOPPP IT!_

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ITTTTTTTTTT!"

Everything came to a standstill. The strangeness of the scene stopped everyone in their tracks.

A streak of strawberry blonde hair-

A red ribbon bow shaped like rabbit ears-

Rising from the debris-

Beautiful, elegant form-

After the event, a black suit would recall that it had been like seeing a white dragon emerge from the Earth, barreling up skywards. A ferocity that quelled even time itself until it stood immobile before its might.

Kirisaki Chitoge-

Rose from the dead-

Her fist drilling into #459, blasting him up, up, up towards the heavens!

"N-No...How can that be..."

The labcoat girl watched in astonishment. Watched as the hulking wall of muscle was launched through the ceiling, through the next floor's ceiling, through the ceiling after that-!

_Hah...haha...that..._

Tears began to fall from her eyes. They dripped down her cheeks, like new rivers of hopes and dreams. It shone like a tool of God on her chest, that amazingly bright shield, that shield that encompassed her so completely and with such range that it filled the hallway with it-

_Damn...plot armor!_

#459's yell was heard through every floor as he accelerated upwards. CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! Nothing stopped his ascent. The power of Kirisaki Chitoge was pushing him to the very depths of space!

_CRAAAAASSHH!_

His body shot through the roof. It tore through an entire piece of Maiko Shu's secret hiding spot underneath the tiles. Ichijou Raku and Onodera Kosaki watched in utter shock as the muscle man rose into the blue sky.

Then-

He-

Began to fall-

"GGGUUAAAHHHH!"

Fast! FASTER! HIS BODY HURDLED BACK DOWN TO THE EARTH LIKE A DIVINE SPEAR-!

He fell through every single one of the holes he had made. He hit the destroyed floor back in the hallway, falling even further down through more ceilings, crashing all the way to the bottom of the school-

And it exploded. The entire bottom floor exploded from the impact, blasting windows, blasting doors, expelling dust and debris out in rolling waves to the evacuated students outside.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY TSUGUMI'S BOOBS!" shouted Chitoge to the heavens. She panted, sweat and hair streaked across her face.

Nothing was said.

Nothing could be said.

For at that very moment-

Kirisaki Chitoge had single-handedly achieved victory.

* * *

"Chitoge-chan!"

"Kirisaki-senpai!"

"Ojou!"

"Lady Chitoge!"

The four girls ran over and hugged Chitoge. She immediately began feeling pain on every inch of her body.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! It hurts!" said Chitoge, squirming under their hug.

"Ah! I'm so sorry, Ojou! The bullet wound-!"

"Huh? Oh no...I'm just bruised all over," said Chitoge, rubbing her arms.

"But Ojou...you were shot..."

"That's right! It hit me right...huh?" Chitoge blinked as she felt something where her chest should've been.

"Ah...that's Ichijou-senpai's..." said Haru, recognizing the golden object.

"That...beansprout..." said Chitoge, a smile growing on her face. The pendant shone from the light that was passing down through the hole in the ceiling. "Even when he's not here..."

"Indeed. It's ridiculous. That 'armor,' you have."

The girls' changed to battle mode as they heard that voice. The labcoat girl and the black suits were approaching them.

"You still want to fight?" said Chitoge, raising her fists. She winced as pain lanced through her arms.

"Heh. No, I've lost," said the labcoat girl, her hands up in a gesture of surrender. "It's all too much for me. This ridiculousness."

"Huh? You showed up here and wrecked half of our school!"

"And you wrecked the other half," said the labcoat girl, smiling. "I'm not going to deny the things that have happened today, Kirisaki Chitoge. But this was for the sake of the world's safety."

"That again...what are you talking about!?"

"Hmph. I don't know," said the labcoat girl, turning away with a flap of her coat. "My eyes have been opened today. Perhaps things aren't how I saw them in the past anymore. In any case, it's your win today, Kirisaki Chitoge. Perhaps we'll meet again...on a better battlefield..."

The labcoat girl walked right into Yui's ample chest.

"Hmm~ I don't think so," said Yui with a frightening smile on her face. "I think you need to give us an explanation, young lady."

"W-What...how dare you talk to me like that! I'll have you know that I'm already t-"

The army of black suits ran over and hastily covered her mouth.

"We're terribly sorry! Big mistake!"

"Yeah, we screwed up. We're Special Forces, you see-"

"And we had a mission here that got a bit out of hand-"

"Our boss is really enthusiastic you know, but no common sense. We're terribly sorry and we'll pay for all the damages and repairs-"

"Of course, we'll also go into negotiations for a temporary school to be used for students while repairs are underway-"

"And we'll compensate students for any trauma they may have experienced-"

"Please take our card. It really was for necessary circumstances, but we handled it quite badly. Feel free to talk to our supervisors about this-"

"And we'll be on our way."

"Goodbye!" yelled all the black suits as they raced out of the school with the labcoat girl tied up and held up over their heads.

"...What just happened?" said Chitoge. None of the four girls had an answer.

* * *

"Agghh...that really hurt."

#459 was collapsed on top of a mound of debris. He lifted himself up into a sitting position and massaged his jaw.

"Jeez. That Beehive girl is really something. If it hadn't been me, she would've killed someone."

He stretched the tendons on his neck and got to his feet. Well, it had gotten more rowdy than he had expected. But it looked like everything had worked out.

"I hope Tachibana-sama is happy with this..." Well, in any case, he had done his best. Now...it was time for him to get out of here before those black suits caught up with him-

_RUMBLE!_

_RUMBLE!_

An enormous tank pulled up to #459. Standing behind it were an army of scary-looking yakuza.

"Oh? Black suit, huh? Just like Bocchan's friend said in his message. So you're one of those bastards that's been causing trouble for Bocchan."

"Huh? Wait a second...you guys are Shuei-gumi..."

"YOU DARE ATTACK BOCCHAN IN THE PLACE OF HIS GLITTERING YOUTH!?"

"N-No! Wait a second! You don't understand! Let me explain-"

"ALRIGHT, YOU GUYS! NO MERCY! WE'LL SHOW THOSE BEEHIVE BASTARDS THAT WE CAN USE THEIR TANK BETTER THAN THEY CAN!"

"No...NO! NOOOOOOO!"

* * *

_**A/N: **One more chapter to go! You don't want to miss this shocking epilogue, coming later this week!_


	17. FINAL - First Half

**The Plan**

_FINAL_

_First Half_

* * *

Ichijou Raku felt oddly content. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that right now, at this very moment, the level of comfort he was experiencing had no equal; past, future, alternate dimensions- there was no way that he would ever again, in any lifetime, feel as amazingly good as he did right now.

Why was that? Well it was obvious why. After all, he was in the middle of something that could be considered an otherworldly experience. The number of people that would glady trade their house, their cars, their entire life savings just to switch spots with him could very well be the whole population of Japan, no, wait, the entire world!

For right now, Ichijou Raku was receiving a lap pillow from Onodera Kosaki.

Heaven's privilege! That's what it was. It was every single drop of luck that his body had ever been granted with, used up, right here! This unrivaled softness. A light heat against his cheek. A fresh scent that reminded him of mellow strawberries. A calm, motherly-like aura that warmed him up from the inside-out. He was soothed, his body was melting in the light of this astonishing event.

Her hand lightly brushed against him.

"You had something on your face." It was Kosaki! Such a sweet, tender voice. It made his heart skip a beat!

"O-Onodera...are you really ok with me lying on your lap?"

"Hm?" She giggled a little and looked down at him. "Why wouldn't I be ok with it, Raku-kun?"

_RAKU-KUN!?_

"O-Onodera! W-What...that's..."

"Ah...do you not like it? I just thought about trying it out...since you know..."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Know? Know what!? What sort of reason would she have for calling him so intimately!?

"Meanie...don't make me say it..."

"Huh?" That was all that Raku could say. His brain was turning to mush from cuteness overload. Was this really the Onodera Kosaki he knew?

"Don't tease me so much..."

"N-No! I really don't know what you're talking about, Onodera!"

"Eh? What do you mean?" said Kosaki, twisting a lock of hair around her finger. "It almost sounds like you weren't serious..."

Serious? About what? What was going on!?

"Sorry Onodera...but...what are you talking about?"

"You're so cruel, Raku-kun," said Onodera. But her tone was playful. She leaned down until her hair was falling over Raku's face and her lips were hovering over his ear. "We're going out, aren't we?"

_..._

_Huh?_

_Huh?_

_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT!?_

When!? How!? W-Where!? The questions kept piling up inside Raku's head. Was this for real? W-Wait a minute. Think back. Think back, Ichijou Raku. What exactly had his past self done to bring about this situation that was powerful enough to warp spacetime itself!?

_We were running from black suits..._

_Then we met Shu and Miyamoto..._

_Ah right. That guy...he left us up there...kuuuuu, I don't know if I want to hit him or hug him! Alright, moving on..._

And then they had been in the hidden space. Cramped up and touching each other everywhere. Raku's face turned red as he remembered those scenes. Aha, those were very nice too...damn it Shu! Where was he? Where was that bastard? He deserved a big bear hug!

And finally they had gotten into that enviable position. Uwoooo! Raku wanted to be back in that position again! Not that he would give up this prime spot in Kosaki's lap, but he wished he could do both things at once! If only there were two of him! Or rather, that'd be awful, because then he'd get jealous of himself!

Wait! Was it that time? Something...he made some kind of resolve then. It felt almost like the beginnings of a confession. Maybe that had been it! Maybe at that moment, wrapped up in the mood, he had blurted out his feelings to Kosaki-

_R-Really? I did that? Go, past me!_

And she had accepted. That was it! She had accepted!

SHE HAD ACCEPTED.

ONODERA KOSAKI LIKED HIM BACK.

SHE WAS...

SHE WAS...

Raku's brain exploded. He couldn't process this. A dream! It had to be a dream! It had to be one of those delusions that he always had at home! Right, maybe they had run out of air in the hidden space. Maybe he had suffocated and fainted in that box. But wait...that'd mean Kosaki fainted too! What was he doing!? Having delusions while Kosaki was dying in an airless box!?

"Raku-kun? How is it?"

"Uhuu...Onodera, don't die..."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Onodera, can you pinch me? Right in the cheek?"

"Uhm...ok." Her soft fingers squished his cheek. She pulled lightly making it feel more like she was fondling his cheek than actually pulling it.

"Ifh hurfs," said Raku.

"Ah, sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"It hurts..."

_IT HURT._

_THAT MEANT-_

"Onodera!"

"Y-Yes?"

Raku had sat up. He had given up that prime spot on Kosaki's lap. Because this was more important. This revelation, this impossible fantasy coming true-

"A-Are you my girlfriend?" said Raku, holding Kosaki by her shoulders. She looked at him with a cute, confused expression.

"Y-Yes...?" said Kosaki, not knowing exactly how to answer. _WHACK!_ A hard jab right to the kisser! Raku keeled over, his heart unable to take the lethal injection that had just burst into his chest.

"I...I asked you out? And you said yes?"

"Y-Yes...?"

"And we're dating? We're together? We can hold hands and kiss and stuff-"

"Ah...uhm...wa..." Kosaki held her hands up to her flushed cheeks. "I...Yes...we can..."

Raku's face also turned red as he realized what he had just said. The adrenaline that had been pumping through his body settled and he felt his body start to relax. So it was true. He had confessed. And she had returned his feelings back to him.

Raku dropped back onto Kosaki's lap.

"Wah! R-Raku-kun?"

"This...this can't be true. Even if it hurts, it still has to be a dream! Something incredible like this..." Raku hugged Kosaki's lap. He pressed his face into it, not wanting to let go.

It couldn't be true. He didn't want to raise his expectations. If this all turned out to be a dream, a delusion, he'd be a broken man. It'd be a prank worthy of the Devil! So he'd just cling to his prime spot for now. Just rest his head here, pretend for a few minutes...that it was ok...

"Raku-kun? You're crying..."

"Sniff...s-sorry, Onodera. I...Damn it..."

Kosaki smiled. She patted his head and let him cry. How long had Raku loved her? How many years had he been wishing for a moment like this? It was too much...his heart couldn't bear it. Living in a home full of yakuza, Raku had been raised with the values of a man. He had always tried to live up to the standards of a real man, of someone that didn't make excuses, that grit his teeth when it counted and took action. The kind of person that wouldn't let a woman cry, a person who kept every promise he made. He was still lacking...in a lot of those parts...but it was still shameful. That for someone who aimed to be a real man, to be crying in a girl's lap like this.

But it was...It was just unfair!

"Raku-kun?"

"Sniff...hm? What is it, Onodera?" Raku tried to dry his eyes sneakily.

"I'm really happy right now," said Kosaki, leaning over so that her face was touching his. Her arms came around and hugged him. "I'm so happy."

"-gh- #$ #$-!"

Raku's mouth stopped working. His body shut down. Deadly! Scary! This was so dangerous! To think that Onodera Kosaki possessed such dangerous weapons!

"I love you, Raku-kun."

One phrase. It was one phrase. But it was a bomb. It was an exploding star. A hypernova! Raku felt like his vision went completely white! Wait, wait! Had those words just killed him!? Did he just die from the potency of those words!? No, no, no! He couldn't die! Not now! He had yet to say his piece, he had to be a man and say the words he had always wanted to say to her-!

"Wait...no, wait! I...I love you too, O-!"

"Hah!?"

The white receded. Slowly, blurry figures appeared in his vision. They became clearer and more sharp. He saw something gold glinting in his face.

Blonde hair, blue eyes. A red ribbon shaped like rabbit ears.

A face that was just as red as that ribbon.

"W-What are you saying!?" said Chitoge, steam bursting from her ears.

"H-Huh? C-Chitoge? But wait a second, wasn't I just talking to-"

Pounding! That pain in his head, it throbbed with such intensity! He leaned back down and felt his head hit something soft. Ah...that was better. Back in his prime spot. This felt good. What was this again? Right, Onodera's coveted lap pillo-

NO!

NO, THIS WASN'T ONODERA'S LAP PILLOW!

THIS WAS A FAKE!

A PHONY!

"This isn't real!" yelled Raku, jumping out of Chitoge's lap. "Y-You imposter!"

"What! What's wrong with you! I was even nice enough to let you rest on my lap!" said Chitoge, bright red now out of some strange feeling of shame. What was this guy's problem!?

"Y-You! What are you doing, being a cheap knock-off!" said Raku, still drowsy. How could this be? That unparalleled softness, that amazing sensation...it had been Chitoge all along!?

_Ah._

_Wait._

His body went on full alert. It knew this pattern. It had an instinct for this kind of thing-

"You..."

Rumbling. The air was rumbling!

"YOU STUPID BEANSPROUT!"

_WHAM!_

And once again, Ichijou Raku went flying into the air.

* * *

"S-Sorry, ok? But even if you were half-asleep, you were still being a jerk..." said Chitoge, unable to look Raku in the eye.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I was asking for it," said Raku as he was being treated by Yui. Luckily, she had brought along a first-aid kit after the evacuation, in case there had been any injured students. She took out a cold pack and shook it, then applied it on Raku's head.

Everyone had gathered on the rooftop. After the battle had ended, Shu had explained to everyone where Raku and Kosaki had been hiding. However, since Chitoge had blasted a hole straight through the roof, they had been a little worried.

"Honestly, it's very much like Kirisaki-san to do that," said Marika. For some odd reason, the mention of Chitoge potentially blowing a psychotic muscleman into Raku had woken her up instantly. She had been the one that had forced everyone up to the rooftop to check on the situation. Of course, Shu's mention of Raku being with Kosaki all alone in a hidden space had made her break out into an insane sprint.

"It all turned out ok, so it's fine, isn't it!" said Chitoge. In the end, the worst damage hadn't actually come from Chitoge herself. It had been from #459's shoe, which had smacked Raku in the head while he had been helping Kosaki out of the space. "At least he didn't get amnesia this time! Right, Kosaki-chan?"

"Huh? Y-Yeah...that's right..."

"...Kosaki-chan? Is something wrong?"

"Huh? N-No! Nothing's wrong!" said Kosaki, quickly flashing a smile. _Ah...I should've given Ichijou-kun a lap pillow...This is the second time! Auu, why didn't I just put his head on my lap..._

"In any case, I'm just glad you're alright, Raku-sama. No thanks to this hussy here," said Marika, hugging Raku tightly. Chitoge's eye twitched uncontrollably.

"Hold your tongue, Tachibana Marika! If it wasn't for Ojou, none of us would be safe and sound right now," said Tsugumi, bristling. "She even took a bullet shot to the chest in that battle-!"

"T-Tsugumi! Shh-"

"What!? You got shot, Chitoge?"

"Nnng..." Chitoge tried to look nonchalant. This was why she hadn't mentioned it. Raku was looking at her with extreme concern. Although it made her happy that he was so worried about her, it was also kind of annoying sometimes. "I'm fine! It didn't hit me."

"Are you sure? Where did you get shot? You need to get checked for injuries," said Raku, starting to poke and prod her body.

"I don't need- haha, don't- hahaaa- STOP TOUCHING ME, YOU IDIOT!"

A second cold pack was given to Raku.

"I'm fine!" said Chitoge, holding out the pendant. "See?"

"Wait...is that a hole in..."

"Ah..." started Chitoge, realizing her mistake. "It's your fault for dropping it...I mean...it really saved me...I mean..."

With a cascade of blonde hair, Chitoge bowed her head before Raku.

"I'm really sorry! I got your pendant damaged..."

"Uh..." started Raku, thrown-off by the sudden apology. But then he smiled wryly and took the pendant from her. "Well, it's fine, I guess. Since it did save you from the bullet."

"You're not mad at me...?"

"Of course not. I'm just glad you're not hurt," said Raku, looking at her seriously. "This pendant's important to me, but you're more important."

There it was. Classic Raku. Saying such things at the drop of a hat. From his expression, she could tell that he wasn't even considering the deeper meaning of those words. Chitoge sighed and tried to hide her embarrassment.

"But it got shot, huh...?" said Raku a little mournfully. Although he lost the pendant frequently, he still kept good care of it. And it was a treasured piece from his childhood that linked all of them together. Now there was a big, gaping hole in the center of it. "I wonder if Shu's relative could fix this..."

Raku held the pendant up to his face to examine it.

Then-

The front of the pendant-

Fell off.

It landed on the ground with a small _clink!_ Everyone's eyes widened as something fell from inside of the pendant and landed on the ground.

"I-It..." said Raku, staring with his mouth open at the broken pendant.

"Wait a second. Did that really just..." said Chitoge with a similarly shocked face.

"I-Ichijou-kun's pendant..."

"It's open," said Tsugumi, just as astonished as everyone else. Paula and Haru looked at them with confusion on their faces. What was the big deal with the pendant opening?

"Onee-chan, what's going on? Isn't that just a trinket from when he was a kid?" said Haru.

"H-Haru. T-This is...Awawawa-" Kosaki was breaking down. The pendant! It was open! The promise that they had all made! Right there, on the ground!

Marika was the first to bend over and pick it up.

"W-What are you doing!?" said Chitoge.

"Obviously giving it to Raku-sama," said Marika. For some reason, she seemed a little sad as she passed Raku the object. "It's his, after all."

It was a folded-up piece of paper. Everyone crowded around Raku to look at it.

"This...This is it?" said Raku, feeling a little underwhelmed. Ten...no, eleven years ago, they had all made a promise over the contents of the pendant. A promise that when they met again, a key would unlock the pendant and they would take out what was inside. _Zawsze in love._ Forever in love. And then they would get married-

And the question had always been-

Who was the promised girl?

Who had been his first love?

This piece of folded-up paper, this was the biggest clue he had to that identity. He gulped, fingering the edges of the paper. But then, he noticed that all of the girls were looking at him.

Raku sighed. No, this wasn't right. It had been a promise. Doing it like this...it felt wrong.

"You guys, I know we're curious, but I think it's best if we-"

The girls snatched the paper away from him before he could finish.

"Aa~ah. I know what you're going to say, but..." said Chitoge, holding the paper. She glanced at Kosaki out of the corner of her eye. Then Tsugumi. And Marika.

She knew now. They all loved Raku. This wasn't something that she could just sweep under the rug. If this item was put back in the pendant, then they would just go back to their regular days.

Lying to each other.

Trying to hide their knowledge.

Being sneaky and under-handed.

No. That was the worst. It would hurt more to have to continue on like that then knowing who Raku's first love was.

So Chitoge made the decision. They would find out here. They would get over this hurdle once and for all.

"No dice. We're going to see what was inside," finished Chitoge. She began unfolding the paper. Raku started to say something, but stopped. He wasn't prepared for it. Yui had asked him the question before. If who he loved would change depending on the identity of the promised girl.

For the first time, Raku suddenly became aware of the situation he was in. A fake girlfriend that he had to continue dating for another year. The girl that he loved that wasn't his girlfriend. A girl that was in love with him, but that he never took seriously.

_Can we go back from this?_

As Raku thought that, Chitoge finished unfolding the paper. Everyone leaned forward to look. Raku steeled himself and joined them.

_Huh?_

_This is..._

"Ah..."

Tears began to fall from Marika's face. An expression that could have only been on a child's face appeared. She looked up at Yui, those pure, innocent eyes filled with water.

"This is..."

"Yes, Marika-chan. That's how it is," said Yui, smiling.

"Ah...ah...so it was like that..." said Marika, crying uncontrollably. She tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, but they were streaming down, coating her hands, falling in fat drops onto the ground. "Ahh...I'm an idiot...I'm an idiot..."

Marika fell to her knees, covering her face with her hands. Chitoge and Raku blinked, unable to figure out what had caused Marika to react like this.

"But this is..."

"Yeah...this is just..."

'That's right, Raku-chan," said Yui, putting a hand on Marika's shoulder. "It's just that."

In Chitoge's hands, there was the final page of a certain children's storybook.

* * *

_**A/N: **It was turning out longer than expected, so splitting into two parts! Focusing on finishing the second part, so excuse any really noticeable grammar errors, will fix them up afterwards!  
_


	18. FINAL - Second Half (END)

**The Plan**

_FINAL_

_Second Half_

* * *

"Stupid Rakkun..."

Eleven years ago, a five-year old Tachibana Marika was sitting in bed, wiping her eyes. Just a moment ago, a boy named Ichijou Raku had come through the window to visit. Marika had a frail body and so her father had brought her to this home in the mountains to give her a fresh, clean environment to rest in. However, being stuck in bed in the mountains...as peaceful and relaxing as it was, it was also boring. Raku had changed that. He had been climbing a tree to explore this house and they had met.

It was fun. Being with Raku. He wasn't like her other friends, who had made half-hearted attempts to visit, but then stopped coming altogether. He always brought things for her from his adventures in the mountains. He would tell her about all the things he did, like running down hills, investigating dark caves, and splashing in the river. Through Raku, Marika could see the world outside again. She could run through the wind and feel sweet exhilaration instead of exhaustion.

When he came to visit, it was always with a smile. When she didn't feel like taking her medicine, he would scold her and tell her that it was important. That she needed to get better so that they could play more together. With her father and guards in the house, Marika felt a suffocating atmosphere. Although her father treated her gently, it was with the air of someone handling a fragile doll. Every single action was filled with worry and even someone as young as Marika could notice. Because of that, she felt uncomfortable whenever the adults came to talk with her. It was only with Raku that she could feel at ease.

Recently, her father had asked if she liked Raku. She had thought about it, in passing moments, but hearing it so bluntly, out in the open, it had made her want to hide her face under the covers. Yes, she probably did like him. Like those stories that Raku told her with princes and princesses. She felt like one, stuck in a castle in the middle of nowhere, just waiting to be saved. And he had come, right through the window, bringing a bag full of goodies that they could both enjoy. Maybe one day, when she was strong enough, he could whisk her away from the castle and they could live happily ever after.

But...for some time now, there had been new people in Raku's stories. New girls that were out there with him, running with him, laughing with him, while Marika was stuck in her bed. She tried not to think about them though. Because then she felt bitter and jealous. Her small hands would tighten and she would feel so small, so far away from Raku. But then she'd look up and see him, right there in front of her, chatting away as usual or playing with some toys he had brought. He would look up at her and, with a big smile on his face, ask her to join in.

And she would stop thinking about those girls. Because right now, at this moment, she had Raku all to herself. She had to make the best of it because Raku would not stay here forever. He was only here temporarily like her. And if they ever parted, then she had to make sure that he wouldn't forget her. That she'd be in his heart until they grew up and could find each other again.

Girly girls with long hair. Like princesses. That was what Raku had told her he liked. It was hard, but she was trying to change herself. To fit into the image of Raku's ideal girl. Everyday, when Raku wasn't there, Marika would sit in front of the mirror and try talking more delicately, more girly-like. Every once in a while, she'd try talking to Raku that way, but Raku would just look at her, puzzled, and ask why she was talking so weird.

She had a lot of work to do. But Marika could do it. Because she truly did like Raku. Perhaps...even loved him.

But then they had met. One day, Marika was feeling very good. The doctor had suggested that she be allowed to play outside, to get exercise and fresh air. Her father had talked with Raku's father and they had agreed that they could watch over Marika today.

"Rakkun! They say I can play all I wan' today!" said Marika. She was running outside for the first time in weeks. Although her limbs quickly burned from the effort, it was a pleasant burn. She breathed in the crisp air and laughed as she whirled around.

"That's great!" said Raku, taking her hand. "Let's go play with the others!"

"Yeah!"

Evil grin.

Yes, they were going to meet today. Those other girls. Marika had been planning for this day. She was in her best condition. If there was ever a time to strike, it could only be now!

She'd show up and play. They would all have fun. But little by little, Marika would show them who was the real contender here. There was only room for one love in Raku's life and she intended to be that one.

_Hmph! I won' let ya take my Rakkun away. I'll show dem what a real lady's like!_

Finally, it was time for all her practice to come together. Maybe Raku would be a bit confused at why she was acting so differently, but she'd win him over. She'd act elegantly like a real princess. Her hair still wasn't very long, but whatever! As long as she had the mindset. Besides, these girls were always running around the mountains with him. How ladylike could they be?

"Ah, Raku! You're late!"

"Raku-kun..."

"Hm? Who's that, Raku-chan? A new friend?"

Huh? Huuuhh!? What...how could this be!?

Who were these girls!? One had long, blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes! A foreigner? And such white skin! She was a princess! A real princess!

And the other girl...she looked so small and gentle. She was smiling kindly at her. That kind of expression...even more than Raku! Who was this person? Like an angel, a real angel!

And last, the older girl. Black hair and the feel of an older sister. Was this Raku's sister!?

_W-Why...?_

So high-level! The hurdles in front of her were amazing! Marika couldn't believe it. Compared to them...compared to them she was...

"This is Mari! The one I've been telling you about," said Raku, grinning. He pulled Marika over into the group.

"Ehh~ This is Marika-chan? So cute," said Yui, looking at her closely.

"Hi, Marika-chan," said Kosaki shyly. "Uhm...I'm Onodera Kosaki..."

"I'm Kirisaki Chitoge! You can call me Chitoge if you want!" said Chitoge, bouncing up to Marika. "Hey, how are you feeling? I heard you were sick."

"I'm...feelin' better today," said Marika, taken back by the sudden start in conversation. She closed her mouth shut, realizing that she hadn't changed her way of speaking.

"Hm? Feelin'?" said Chitoge curiously. Marika blushed. Darn it. Darn it! A screw-up already! Not to mention against this person who had started with an advantage...this princess-like girl...

"Isn't it cool? She kinda talks like the guys at home," said Raku.

"Huuh? No, she doesn't. She talks like my guys," said Chitoge, shaking her head.

"What are you talking about? Your guys talk completely differently," said Raku, frowning.

"Your guys talk all old-like!" said Chitoge, glaring back.

"D-Don't fight!" said Kosaki, getting in-between the two of them.

"Come on, you guys. Don't act like that when we're just meeting with Marika-chan," said Yui, knocking the two of them lightly on the head.

"Sorry Yui-nee..."

"It's Raku's fault..." said Chitoge, puffing her cheeks. Yui knocked her on the head again.

"Chitoge, don't point fingers."

"...Ok. Sorry."

Marika wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but it seemed like they didn't care too much about her accent. But most importantly of all, none of these girls seemed to look at Raku as a boy! Marika's inner self grinned. They were immature. That explained it all. Maybe her only competition was the older sister there. But since she was his sister, she could ignore her.

Maybe things weren't as bad as she thought.

"It's nice to meet you all. Please take care of this little old me," said Marika, bowing her head. Hah! Perfect! Just like a real lady!

"Huh? Why are you talking so weird, Mari?" said Raku.

"Yeah, don't you mean 'meetcha?'" said Chitoge, looking equally clueless. Marika felt her eye twitch. This girl...she could already tell that she was going to have bad blood with this girl.

"I-It's nothin'," said Marika, deciding to drop princess-speak. It was hard for her to keep up with and it didn't look like it was making much of an impression anyways. It looked like she still had a lot of work to do.

"Well, whatever. Let's go play!" said Raku, running off.

"Ah! Hold on, Raku!" said Chitoge, chasing him.

"W-Wait for me!"

"Let's go, Marika-chan! We have to catch up!"

Yui took her by the hand and pulled. Marika almost tripped because of how sudden the movement was, but her legs quickly found their footing. She raced along with them, out onto the hills. They took off their shoes and ran around, the grass soft underneath their feet. The sky was blue and the sun was warm and bright. They rolled down the hill, their faces becoming streaked with dirt, and laughs filling the air.

For a few, breathless hours, Marika forgot about being a proper lady. She forgot about her jealousy towards the other girls and her feelings for Raku. She forgot about her frail body and the loneliness of the house.

The energetic Chitoge. The gentle Kosaki. The sisterly Yui.

And Raku, charging ahead of them all.

On that day, Tachibana Marika just played. She lost herself in the joyful sparkles of her childhood.

And it continued onto the night. They took a bath together and talked. Chitoge told them about how Raku had saved her from a vicious dog. Kosaki told them about her little sister back at home. They all asked Marika questions, like where she got her accent from and what her dad was like.

And eventually, the time came where Raku had to take Marika back home. They passed by another boy who was entering the bath and got dressed.

"Did you have fun today, Mari?" asked Raku as they walked back to the house.

"...Yeah. It was fun," said Marika. Although she didn't want to admit it, she hadn't wanted to leave everyone. It was the most fun that she had in a long time. Everyone was so nice and vibrant. Yes, it was a lot like taking a bath. Feeling that initial shock of uncomfortable heat; but then she would melt into a pleasant, relaxing warmth and just float for a few minutes. Then that time would end and she would get out, feeling cold and a little regretful as she toweled off.

She didn't want the day to end. But they were already at her home now. Raku was saying he'd come visit again, maybe with Yui next time. And then he was turning and leaving with the escort-

"Rakkun!"

"Hm?" He turned around.

"We gun play again, ok? For sure!"

He smiled and gave her a thumbs-up.

"Yeah!"

But a day like that never happened again. Because Marika's condition worsened. She was back in bed, forbidden from leaving the house.

Raku still came to visit. Just like he promised, he brought Yui with him sometimes. They were happy times, the three of them playing together. But when they left, when Marika was all alone in her room-

They could be together whenever they wanted. Yui, Kosaki, Chitoge, and Raku. They could play whenever they wanted, talk whenever they wanted, wherever they wanted. It was only Marika that was confined to a bed. Stuck in this room. Forcing them to visit her, never the other way around.

And it was then that Marika realized why her old friends had stopped coming. It didn't make sense, after all. It couldn't have been fun, coming over every day but not being able to do anything fun, always just talking or playing by themselves because Marika was too sick.

She had been sick for so long that she had forgotten. But that one day had reminded her. Reminded her of the fun, of the happiness you could feel when you were free to be with your friends, free to do whatever you wanted. Not the shackles that she put on Raku and Yui. The chains that they willingly wore whenever they entered her room. No running. No jumping. No exploring new places. No catching fish in the river. No climbing up trees.

She became less and less happy during their visits. She became more and more depressed when they left. Maybe she could've done this. Maybe she could've talked about that. They could've had more fun if she had been more active. If she hadn't been so negative, if she had put a little more effort into it.

Kosaki and Chitoge always had fun with Raku. Whenever Raku told her about their adventures, that smile never left his face. He was always happy when he was with them. And they were happy too, they were seeing parts of Raku that she could never see-

And the jealousy returned. The bitterness sunk into her heart. She hid it though, hid it because Raku would hate her if he found out. But it made her cry at night, made her wish that she didn't have such a weak body. She still worked at trying to be a lady, but it was half-hearted. What was the point of being a lady if her body couldn't keep up? What was the point if she couldn't make Raku happy?

And that day arrived. The day when her father had told Marika that they would be leaving soon. She tried to convince him not to, but there was no helping it. They couldn't live in the mountains for the rest of their life. And Raku wouldn't be here forever either.

So at the very least, she wanted to meet with Raku before they left. She wanted to tell him goodbye and tell him all the things she had saved up.

But he couldn't come. He said he had to go meet with Kosaki and Chitoge.

"Rakkun! Don't...Don't go. Stay with me!" she had said. He had already started climbing out of the room.

"I can't. I have to go see Chitoge. It's really important-"

"I'm leavin' Rakkun! We're never gun see each other again! Ain't that more important?" said Marika. Raku had hesitated, looked down at his feet as he thought.

"...Sorry, Mari. I can't."

And he had jumped. Jumped to somewhere Marika could not reach. She had rolled out of bed, crawled to the window, but he was gone.

She couldn't keep up.

"Rakkun...stupid Rakkun!" she had shouted out. But he hadn't heard her. Because he had gone to meet with Chitoge.

He had chosen her.

"Stupid...dummy...Rakkun, I hat-!"

She choked on those words. She couldn't say them. Because they weren't true. They weren't true at all. Even when he had left her, even thought he hadn't chosen her, she still loved him. She still loved him so much that her heart ached.

For the rest of the day, Marika wouldn't meet with anyone. She wouldn't talk with anyone. She had just sat in her bed, lost in her thoughts. Pitying herself. Hating herself. Hating herself for hating herself. It was endless. The black hole she was sinking into.

The evening passed. And the day came. But Raku didn't come back. They were leaving soon. Her father had come in and packed her stuff. She was walking down the stairs and to the car outside.

"Mari!"

She almost didn't hear it because of the car's engine. She poked her head out the window and yelled for her father to stop. The car stopped on the road down the hill.

"Rakkun!"

Raku was running after her. He was covered in dirt and little bits of leaves, looking like he had run through an entire forest. Raku came up to the window, panting.

"Here!"

Thrust something at her face. But she didn't care about it. He had come! He had come to meet her after all!

"Rakkun..." said Marika, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Mari...sorry. Sorry I took so long," said Raku. He held the key up and put it in her hand. "Take this, ok? Take this and we'll meet again."

"What is it, Rakkun?"

"We'll meet for sure," said Raku, closing his hand over hers. "If you keep that key with you, we'll meet for sure again and keep our promise!"

P-Promise? W-What was he talking about? What promise? What was this key for? And what was that thing around Raku's neck?

"Hey! So that's where you got off to, Raku!"

Raku's father was running up behind him with a group of yakuza. Marika's car opened up and her father came out of the driver's seat.

"Ah? What's going on here?" said Marika's father.

"Geh...you're still here, huh?" said Raku's father. "Well, it looks like I've caused you a bit of trouble."

"Hoh? I was wondering why that boy didn't show up. So you brought him here, eh? Looks like you really are thinking of keeping your promise."

"Huh? Promise...?"

"Ah..." said Marika, finally understanding. That's right, what had her father said? He'd ask if she could marry Raku. Was that it? Was that the promise he had been talking about!?

"Right...the promise..." said Raku's father, laughing. What was that again? Well, whatever. Couldn't be that bad. He could figure it out later. But if he showed any mention of not knowing it right now, there'd probably be a big fight.

"Hmph. I guess it's a good occasion," said Marika's father, rummaging through one of his bags. "They might be apart for a while, so we should take a picture."

"Oh, good idea," said Raku's father. "Seems like my son's been getting along well with your daughter."

"Alright, stand there. I'll take the picture," said Marika's father.

"Ah? Don't you want to be in it too?"

"**...Haah?** You trying to start something with me?" said Marika's father, a scary look appearing on his face. "The police chief in a photograph with riff-raff like you? You've got to be joking."

"Ahaha...right," said Raku's father. _...You didn't have a problem when we were drinking last night._

"Rakkun."

"Hm? What's up, Mari?"

"I'm gun keep this forever," said Mari, holding the key to her chest. "So, don't forget our promise, ok?"

"Yeah! Of course," said Raku, smiling. He held up the pendant hanging off his neck. "I'll never forget. We both live in Japan and our dads know each other, so we'll meet again! For sure!"

"Yeah. Promise, Rakkun."

"Promise," said Raku, holding Marika's hand.

And then, the photo had snapped.

* * *

Once upon a time, two girls had met the same boy. They had all played together and spent a happy month as good friends.

Once upon a time, one of the girls had brought along a storybook from her mother's visit to a foreign country. She had gone there to study about Western confectioneries and she had brought back this book as a souvenir for her daughter. If you had asked her mother, she would have said that she had only bought the book because it was the only children's story with a Japanese translation that she could find there.

Once upon a time, the two girls had read this book together and loved it dearly. But they had cried at the ending. When they met with the boy they were friends with, he had offered to change the ending.

And now, it was sundown and they were standing on a hill as one of the girls was about to leave.

"Chitoge!"

Raku and Yui had gone to see Chitoge. She was leaving for America soon and they might never meet again. When she had told them, it had been sad for all of them. But Raku had gotten an idea.

"The story. We'll do it like in the story," said Raku.

"What do you mean?" said Chitoge.

"The prince and the princess get separated, right? But they said they'll meet again and they kept a pendant and a key to find each other."

"And the fairies helped him with other keys. Yeah, I know," said Chitoge impatiently.

"But the fairies disappeared..." said Kosaki sadly. Her eyes began to tear up. "Even though they helped the prince so much, he couldn't reach the princess. So one by one, the fairies used their keys to build a bridge and they disappeared because of that."

"And even though they finally came together, the fairies that helped them never came back," said Yui. "They unlocked the pendant with the key and inside was the fairy that had been helping them all along, dead because she used all of her energy."

"Not that one! The good ending," said Raku, showing Chitoge the book. "The one we wrote."

"Yeah. The one where all the fairies are inside the pendant and they all lived happily together," said Kosaki, brightening up. "We even drew in all the fairies."

"We'll do it like that!" said Raku, fishing in his pocket. "My dad's guys and Yui-nee helped me buy this."

In one hand, there was a golden pendant identical to the one in the storybook. In the other, there was a group of keys.

"That's..."

"Here, Chitoge," said Raku, handing Chitoge one of the keys. "_Zawsze in love._ I'll hold the lock and you hold the key."

"And if we grow up and see each other again, we'll open the lock and take out what's inside...?" said Chitoge, a smile growing on her face.

"Yeah! But you need the fairies first!" said Raku, giving a key to Kosaki and Yui. "We'll all be here in Japan if you ever come back., so you just have to find one of us!"

"Eh? So you mean..." said Kosaki, thinking back to the story. "She needs to find all of us first?"

"Yep! We need all the keys or we can't open the pendant!" said Raku. "We have to do it together. No matter what."

"Heh...that's never going to happen," said Chitoge, laughing a little as she wiped her eyes. "We might not even remember any of this when we grow up..."

"Then don't forget!" said Raku. "Look, we can do this..."

He tore the last few pages out of the storybook.

"! Raku-kun-!"

"What...WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Hmm. We can't fit it all in here...whatever. I'll just put this page. It's the important one," said Raku, folding the paper up and putting it in the pendant.

"How could you just rip up Kosaki-chan's book like that-!"

"Here!" said Raku, shoving the rest of the pages into Chitoge's hands. "Don't forget those! Put them somewhere safe and you'll always remember. And you'll need to find us if you ever want to read the last page!"

Chitoge's face was turning red and she was starting to cry. She shook her head and apologized to Kosaki.

"No, Chitoge-chan. It's ok. Take them," said Kosaki, holding her hands. "Raku-kun's right. Come back and we'll see each other again."

"Yeah...yeah, I'll keep them," said Chitoge, holding both the papers and the key to her chest. "I won't lose them, ever!"

"And when you're back, we'll just put the key in here," said Yui, sticking her key into the pendant. "And just turn like this-"

_Snap!_

"Uh...oh no," said Yui. She stared at the broken key with her lips trembling. "S-Sorry everyone...I think I...I...broke it..."

"D-Don't worry about it! You know Shu, right? He has a relative that can fix it. Don't worry, ok?" said Raku to Yui, who had started to cry. Chitoge started laughing again. Really, what was this? It was so stupid.

"Anyways, don't forget, ok? About our promise..." said Raku, trying not to look embarrassed. "Both of you!"

"I won't," said Kosaki, holding her key tightly.

"Me either," said Chitoge. She leaned forward and smiled at Raku. "You don't forget either, ok? The other part of the promise..."

"Huh? What other part?"

"Oh!" Kosaki clapped her hands as she realized what Chitoge was talking about. Chitoge bounced away and hugged Kosaki close.

"Getting married. That's what they do in the story," said Chitoge.

"Huh? Married?" said Raku.

"Yeah. You have to get married to all of us!" said Chitoge. She looked at Kosaki and winked. "Right?"

"Eh? Uhm...uh...yeah..." said Kosaki, blushing deeply. Yui came over, still crying, and hugged them all.

"Me too! Me too, ok, Raku-chan?"

"Y-Yeah...ok, Yui-nee," said Raku, not exactly sure what was going on anymore.

"Hm? Wait a minute. What about Marika-chan?" said Chitoge.

"Oh, I've got a key for her too-"

Raku checked his pockets. Nothing.

"...Huh?"

"Ah...Raku-chan...I think we only bought three keys..."

"What!?"

"Hey, Raku! What are you doing!?"

"Raku-kun, that's not good! You have to get Marika-chan a key too! She's the one that said we're all going to play together again, right?"

"Gh...don't worry! I'll get her one! Let's go, Yui-nee!"

"Y-Yeah! Chitoge-chan, Kosaki-chan. Bye!"

"Chitoge, we'll see you later!" said Raku, waving as he ran.

"Don't forget! You dummy!" cried Chitoge. Kosaki was crying too again.

"I won't! I'll never forget!"

And then he ran. He ran to get the last key for Tachibana Marika...

* * *

"And that's what happened," said Yui, finishing the story. In front of her, in Raku's hands, was the final page of the storybook.

The prince and the princess. And the fairies all drawn in around them, instead of empty as it was on the back of the book.

"W-Wait...so you mean..." said Raku, trying to process everything that had been said. "It wasn't one promised girl? It was two?"

"Yeah. Well, I guess the promise was really just to Chitoge-chan, but Kosaki-chan was there too," said Yui. Huh? But that couldn't be right...whenever Raku had thought of the promised girl, it had been a vague image of a girl in a white dress, with long brown hair...

_...Huh?_

He looked at Chitoge and Kosaki. Long blonde hair. Short brown hair.

_No, it couldn't be..._

_That..._

_That was just..._

"H-Huh? Huh...?"

"So then...the promise Raku made wasn't about getting married? It was about all of us playing together again?" said Chitoge, feeling her world crashing down. All this time...she had thought all this time...

"Yep!" said Yui.

"Y-Yui-nee! Why didn't you just tell me that!" said Raku.

"Y-Yeah! If you knew about it, why didn't you say anything, Yui-san?" said Chitoge.

"Well...it didn't really matter," said Yui. "Since you all came together anyways."

"But you could've still told us!" said Raku. She was smiling at him. Ugh...that meant all this time...so cruel Yui-nee...

"Darn it...gosh darn it!" yelled Marika, holding her hands over her face. "All this time...all this time, I thought Rakkun was talkin' bout marriage, but it was that promise! That promise! AHHH!"

"...Tachibana."

"Then...it's all over?" said Kosaki. "The mystery with the keys and pendant?"

"Seems so," said Yui. "Well, this still doesn't change the fact that Raku-chan has a decision to make."

"Huh? What do you mean?" said Raku.

"I told you before, didn't I, Raku-chan? That the promised girl didn't matter, that you have to know who's most important to you now," said Yui. "Did you come to a decision yet?"

Raku didn't know what to say. It was so sudden. All this time, he had been trying to find the promised girl's identity. He hadn't known why he wanted to know, but it had been a strong goal of his. Knowing who that girl was, that girl who might've been his first love. But now that he knew the whole story, he realized that it wasn't just one girl. It was two. And the promise had been to everyone.

But did any of that really matter? The truth was that he liked Onodera Kosaki. He had liked her since middle school. Yes, he was in a relationship with Kirisaki Chitoge, but it was a fake relationship. If he just went by his heart, he would have to say that Kosaki was the girl that was most important to him...

So then, why couldn't he say it? Why couldn't he answer? Raku looked at Kosaki. Yeah, there it was. That heartbeat. That feeling of warmth. He loved her. He really did. If this wasn't love, then he didn't know what was.

He looked at Chitoge. Calm. He felt relaxed around her and a little irritated. But if he thought about it, he had spent the most time with Chitoge because of their relationship. But he didn't like her, right? Not the way he liked Kosaki...

But Chitoge had technically been the promised girl...right?

So that meant...

_Shit...this is so confusing!_ And then there was Marika! Now that he knew the whole story, there was no way he could think that her feelings weren't serious. But he couldn't return her feelings! Or could he?

And Yui-nee? What about Yui-nee?

Raku wanted to run. He wanted to sprint like a deer. But he couldn't. Because that'd be the worst. That'd be the route of a scumbag.

What was the problem? He loved Onodera Kosaki. He just had to say it.

But wait, confession? Here!? Confess in front of all of them!? No, no...that was too much! No, he'd just say...yeah...he'd just say that he did make a decision. After all, that'd make sense. Since he was in a fake relationship with Chitoge, the decision would seem "obvious." Yeah and then he could sort out his feelings for Kosaki...sort out the mess that was in his mind right now...

_What is he doing?_

Chitoge watched exasperatedly as Raku paced back and forth, holding his head like he was in agony. He was probably thinking of a bunch of needless things. Well, it made sense. After all, even she was shaken up. All this time, they had been chasing after the truth about the keys. They had hoped that some sort of answer would be there, hoped with both apprehension and eagerness. Maybe that answer would be bad. Maybe the answer would be in their favor. In either case, the answer had been what they had all hedged their bets on.

But...

The answer had turned out to be useless.

It didn't change anything. It didn't change the fact that she was in love with Raku. It didn't change the fact that Tsugumi was in love with him. That Marika was in love with him. That Kosaki was probably in love with him. That Yui was in love with him.

None of that was changed by this revelation.

Of course, Raku didn't know about any of this. He was probably struggling because he had just become aware of everyone's feelings. Maybe not as directly as Chitoge, but he was starting to see hints of it now. Chitoge couldn't blame him for being clueless, since she hadn't known either, but after being ignorant all this time, getting everything at once was probably stressful.

She really wanted to give him a break. Create an out and just leave things like they always had been for a little while longer.

But...

She looked at Kosaki. She looked at Tsugumi. Marika. Yui. Raku.

_Yeah..._

That just wasn't possible anymore.

"Everyone, I want to say something," said Chitoge suddenly. Since everyone had just been looking at Raku do contortions for no reason, Chitoge quickly got their attention.

_Phew..._

_It's really scary._

_I think this is the most scared I've ever been._

But at the same time, she was confident. She felt courageous. More than she had ever been. It was a strange feeling. On one hand, it was like she was about to stand naked in front of everyone. Every inch of her would be under scrutiny. It was her true feelings, her true heart pulled out into the open. But on the other hand, the feelings had been waiting for this. They had been waiting and preparing for this moment.

"I'm not Raku's real girlfriend," said Chitoge. "We're just pretending because of various complicated reasons."

No one really reacted to that. For a moment, Chitoge wondered if they hadn't heard her, but then, it all slid into place. _Oh..._

_Everyone figured it out..._

Chitoge wanted to facepalm. She wanted to crouch down and roll up into a ball. But no, she couldn't stop here! If she stopped here, it would be even more awkward!

"We're not really dating," continued Chitoge, embarrassed. But the words were coming out more easily than she had thought. That little change in the mood had worked in her favor. "We're not really dating but..."

Here it was.

The moment of truth.

Where her false love-

Would at least become-

"I..."

The words stuck to her throat. It was holding them, last-minute doubts surfacing in Chitoge's mind. _Don't say it! He's not even looking at you yet! He's going to reject you! There's no going back from this!_

'I..."

She clenched her eyes shut. Damn it. She had just fought with an entire organization of weirdo black suits. She had beaten a muscleman that had the power to wreck the entire school. She had punched out an insane little girl with a giant robot!

_Kh..._

_Don't..._

_Don't underestimate me!_

"I...I LOVE YOU, RAKU!" said Chitoge. "I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU. NOT PRETEND, BUT FOR REAL. I LOVE YOU!"

Silence. It was like even nature was stunned at her declaration. The silence was so strong that Chitoge could hear her panting echoing in her ears.

_I said it..._

_I said it..._

_I..._

_Oh my god, I actually said it!_

She didn't care anymore. She rolled up into a ball and covered her face. Screw it! It was over! It didn't matter what anyone thought now!

"H-Huh...? What did you say, Chitoge?"

_Snap!_

Chitoge got up. She stomped right over to him and pushed her face right up to his. Her eyes stabbed into him like daggers.

_Oh no!_

_You're not going to pull this shit!_

"I love you! Ok? Did you hear me that time? I love you, stupid beansprout!" said Chitoge.

"W-What...since when...?" stammered Raku.

"Since...probably all along!" said Chitoge. "Look, the bottom line is, I love you! I have feelings for you. I want us to date for real. I want to be your girlfriend! In fact, I want to get married too!"

_W..._

_WHAAAT!?_

_WHAT!?_

_What is she saying!? She loves me? Chitoge loves me?_

_That can't be right! Chitoge hates me! Or at least, she doesn't feel that way about me..._

_We're always fighting-_

_We're always arguing-_

_We don't get along at all-_

_People even got suspicious of our dating-_

_We're always together-_

_We know what each other is thinking-_

_We've pulled each other through a lot-_

Raku stopped. He looked, really looked, at the girl in front of him. Kirisaki Chitoge. His fake lover.

The girl that had fallen in love with him. That loved him right now, with all her heart. That had confessed to him, done something that even he had never found the courage to do, done it in front of everyone knowing full well the risks, the potential for rejection-

"Chitoge...I..." said Raku. Seriously. What was this? Uncool. Super lame. A girl had more courage than him. A girl had more guts than him. Even if it was Chitoge. No, because it was Chitoge. Because he knew so many of her faces. Her sad face. Her happy face. Her depressed face. Her angry face. He knew, from the face that was in front of him right now, that she was completely serious.

"I love you. That's all," said Chitoge, hugging him. "Don't say anything right now or I'll kill you."

Raku shut his mouth. Ok. He'd shut up. Because he knew. And she knew. There had to be a decision made. He was going to have to answer her confession sometime. And when that happened, there were just two ways it could go.

Either he would love her or her heart would be broken.

But he loved Kosaki.

So that meant...

_Shit...damn it..._

Raku gritted his teeth. He was an idiot. A real idiot. To let it get to this point.

Chitoge clutched him harder. Her arms were wrapped so tightly around his waist that it almost felt natural.

No one spoke. No one made a move.

Except for Onodera Kosaki.

"Chitoge-chan...I'm sorry, but..."

"Huh? Kosaki-chan?" Chitoge looked up from Raku's chest.

Kosaki walked up to them. Walked up until she was standing behind them.

Then she hugged him. Hugged Raku from the back.

"I...I love Ichijou-kun!"

...

Extinction.

Ichijou Raku's mind was completely deleted from existence.

Kosaki pressed her face into his back. This was the decision she had made. When Chitoge had confessed to Raku, she had felt her heart sink. Because the one thing that she had always tried to ignore had happened. Chitoge and Raku's relationship. A fake relationship that she had become accustomed to. Because it meant that she still had a chance. That she could still enjoy these days a little longer.

But Chitoge had confessed. She had found the courage to confess that Kosaki hadn't been able to muster all these years. Seeing that scene, although Kosaki had wanted to cry, she had also admired Chitoge. She had thought that Chitoge was really a good person. That in the end, it was fine if Raku chose Chitoge. If it was Chitoge...yes...she could be fine with it. She could let her feelings go for the sake of her important friend.

...

No. She couldn't. If she could have, then she would have back when she didn't know the truth about their relationship. No matter how she tried to hide it, her feelings for Raku were real. They were there, beating in her heart.

And she wanted him to know. She wanted to tell him, just like Chitoge had. Because if he just knew her feelings...if for just a moment, he would look at her the same way that she looked at him...

Kosaki rubbed her face on Raku's back. She was crying. If she didn't rub, then the tears would soak into one spot. She couldn't let Raku know that she was crying. Raku was going to make a decision and she had to be strong enough to take it.

Warm. Suddenly, she felt warm hands on her arms.

"Kosaki-chan..."

It was Chitoge. She was hugging her from around Raku. _I'm sorry, Chitoge-chan. I didn't...I didn't mean to hide it from you..._

_I know. Me either. Hehe...it's weird, huh? Looks like we ended up liking the same guy._

_...Yeah._

_Remember the promise we made, Kosaki-chan?_

_Promise? The one from eleven years ago?_

_No. The promise just between the two of us. That I would help you with your love and you would help with mine._

Their hugs tightened. Yeah, they had promised. Even if it was the same boy, they had promised to each other.

"Raku-"

"Ichijou-kun-"

"I LOVE YOU!"

All three of them toppled over from an incredible force. Huh!? What was this!? Who was ruining this touching moment!?

"I love you too, Raku-sama."

"Y-You! Why do you always have to ruin everything!"

"Marika-san..."

"Hmph. You think I'll let you steal Raku-sama away from me like this?" said Marika, joining in the hug.

"Kh...just as annoying as ever," said Chitoge, trying to bat Marika's hand away.

"Besides..." said Marika, a flash of a genuine smile appearing on her face. "I suppose I do owe you..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing! Raku-sama, it's me, isn't it? The one you really love? Let's set aside this hussy and this docile bunny. I know that you will take me, a real woman."

_H-Hussy!?_

_B-bunny...?_

What was going on? Raku couldn't comprehend it. Was this a joke? No...no, it wasn't. But...what? Seriously?

Chitoge was actually in love with him.

Kosaki loved him back!

And Marika was...well...

No wait, back to the real point! Kosaki loved him!

Their love was mutual!?

He wanted to celebrate. He wanted to get up and dance on his feet. But he couldn't. Because there was still Chitoge. And Marika. And-

"Ehh! No fair!"

Yui jumped in to hug them too.

"I love Raku-chan too!"

"Geh...why you..."

"Ah, Marika! Where are you putting that hand? Get off Raku already!"

"Uhm...Ichijou-kun. Are you ok? You look like you're in a lot of pain..."

"Tsugumi! Tsugumi, get in here too!"

"H-Huh!? W-What are you talking about, Ojou-!"

"I know already. You like Raku too, right? Get in here."

"N-No! That's...that was just..."

Ruri and Shu winked at each other. Then they silently gave Tsugumi a push-

"WAAHH!"

"GAH!"

"P-Please get off! Your enormous chest is crushing Raku-sama!"

"Oh my, Tsugumi-chan. I might lose to you when it comes to those..."

"...What is this?" said Haru. Honestly, that senpai of hers. It was all just a mess. Even when he was being sincere, things became like this around him. Haru smiled and stepped back. _Good for you, Onee-chan. You finally did it._

"What are you doing, Onodera Haru?" said Paula, looking at her.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't you be joining them? After all, everyone else is confessing to the Ichijou boy."

"M-Me!? No...I can't do that. I don't even have a key..."

"Does it matter?" said Paula, nudging her. "You love him, don't you? Love him enough to cry on my shoulder."

"Ugh...Paula-san, that wasn't..."

"Go!"

Onodera Haru was also thrown into the pile.

"H-Haru?"

"O-Onee-chan...I'm...sniff...sorry, Onee-chan..."

"Huh!? Haru-chan!? You like this idiot!? No, no, Haru-chan, leave! Get out! Don't fall for this stupid beansprout! You can do sooo much better than him!"

"Well, if you think that way, Kirisaki-san, why don't you follow your own advice? After all, Raku-sama is going to pick me-"

"Shut up! No way I'm going to hand him over to you!"

"Haru...Onee-chan's happy that you two really got along..."

"O-Onee-chan!? That's not the kind of reaction you should be having!"

"Oh! So many nice pictures! Isn't this great, Raku? Actually, let me join in the fun!" said Shu, getting ready to dive into the bundle of delicious female bodies-

_WHAM!_

"Please control yourself, just this once, Maiko-kun," said Ruri, throwing Shu down the stairs.

Raku couldn't move. He was completely pinned down by the girls hugging him. On one arm were Tsugumi, Chitoge, and Marika. On the other arm were Yui, Haru, and Kosaki. They all loved him. Every single one.

He looked up at the sky. The sun was starting to set and the clouds were awash with lavender, cream orange, and pastels.

He sighed and closed his eyes.

In the end, a promise was a promise.

* * *

Back inside the school, in the destruction of a certain hallway, a silver-haired Beehive member in a white suit was regaining consciousness.

"Boss, I know how you feel, but we should probably retreat today."

"Idiots, of course we are!"

"H-Huh!? But...Boss, weren't you hell-bent on stopping the confessions because they'd destroy the world-"

"Hmph. Things have changed. I just got a call from some of our intel. It looks like we have an outside force interfering with the world's progression."

"An outside force?"

"It doesn't matter. In any case, the path the world is taking right now doesn't seem to be too bad. Now, go gather everyone up. We'll get WcDonald's ice cream on the way back."

"Yay! I mean...wait...we're not paying, are we?"

"Nope. I ran into some cash recently."

"Really!? How?"

"Oh...just a little rummaging around. Now, let's get out of here. Not only the Shuei-gumi, but the Beehives are here now."

"Yes, Boss!"

It seemed like they were retreating for today. Claude waited until they had all left before rising into a sitting position. How fearsome, this strange group. To think that he had to play dead to get away unscathed. He searched around for his square-frame glasses and found them a few feet away. Cracked, but still usable.

So the rest of the Beehive were here, then? He would have to rendezvous with them and try to track down the rest of that group-

_Hm?_

_Hmmmm?_

_Wait a second..._

_Phone. Keys. The picture of Ojou I eat lunch with everyday._

Claude took out his phone and called the Beehives.

"Yes, Claude-sama!"

"...Search every WcDonald's you can find."

Those bastards had his wallet.

* * *

A certain pink-haired girl was seated in front of her monitor, watching the aftermath of the great invasion of Bonyari High School. That Tachibana Marika. What a cunning human. To not only have realized that the current relationships with Ichijou Raku were complicated, dragging, and ultimately damaging to all those involved; she had also come up with a plan to take advantage of an underground organization.

First, send in one of her father's men to infiltrate the organization.

Then, create the scenario where the pendant would be broken open.

Have the infiltrate manipulate the organization's movements to force the students to react in certain ways, ways that would create pockets of knowledge and insight-

Yes, this was all done to prepare the girls for the final revelation. To view it in a certain way, to accept it on certain terms, so that a certain path would open up for them-

Well, of course, the plan had been modified slightly. After spending so much time in the organization, the infiltrate had made a suggestion to bring a little quality-of-life improvement for the Boss. A person with a good nature, just misguided in a way.

There had been a few hitches, but in the end...things had gone quite smoothly. The results were better than expected.

She smiled and lightly bit into a strawberry. Yes, it had gone very well. And if things continued as they were, she would get some very good data in exchange for her assistance in Tachibana Marika's plot.

"In any case, thank you very much. This information will prove very useful for the harem plan," said Momo Velia Deviluke. Yes, she would monitor this situation very closely. All for the sake of Rito and the many girls whose lives were entangled with his.

* * *

**The (Harem) Plan**

**END**

* * *

**Afterword**

_And, it's finally over! On the same day that it was published, a month later too! So now that it's all ended, I'm sure there are still some questions you might have. Like what happened to the extra pages if Raku gave them to Chitoge? How could Marika have planned all this if she didn't know what was inside the pendant and had a misunderstanding about what the "promise" was this whole time? There are plenty of similar holes that were left unexplained, but they can certainly **be** explained! So, if you have any questions, just leave a comment or PM and I'll answer them in the next chapter. _

_Wait, what did you say? You're continuing with this story? Not exactly. But before we get into that, let's talk about this fanfic first._

_I've written a lot of stories over the years. I also wrote fanfiction from time to time, although most under a different name. However, I never actually managed to finish a story. Sure, I'd have a big plot fixed up and all the characters thought of, but I just never could pull myself to the finish line. No NaNoWriMo for me. Even my only other fanfiction on this account, Those Minions, was not completely finished. _

_So this is a big achievement for me. I was finally able to write something all the way to the end (even if it ended up being a bumpy story)! The idea for this Nisekoi fanfic started when I was trying to sleep, but unable to sleep because I took a nap a few hours before. Strange how you really latch onto ideas when you can't sleep. In any case, the initial seeds for this fanfic was wondering what would happen if all the Nisekoi characters confessed all at once! Wouldn't that be crazy? How would that even work?_

_Now anyone on this side of the planet who's read Nisekoi will know about its strengths and weaknesses. On one hand, the art is just fantastic, in any sense. People are divided on the story and characters. Since Nisekoi is Jump romance manga, it's going to be setup so that there are a variety of girls that people can root for. It's kind of like picking a football team._

_And of course, like football, the arguments can get heated. The fanships can become very aggressive. So one of the biggest points of discussion in Nisekoi is "Where's the plot?" Can we get some actual development here, rather than useless resets? As a result, a lot of Nisekoi meta-discussion and fanfiction revolves around what it'd be like if actual developments happened, if Nisekoi had some more meat to it. _

_That was a sphere I tried to explore in my first Nisekoi fanfiction. But I quickly discarded it. Because it was awful. Trying to bring reality and drama into something like Nisekoi? It was like adding a bucket of soy sauce to vanilla ice cream. The salt! The soy! That overpowering stench fighting with another overpowering stench!  
_

_So, when I got the idea for this fanfic, the idea where all the girls would confess and actually have developments happen, I had a deja vu feeling. This wouldn't work. I couldn't handle this like a teen romance novel or a mature discussion between intelligent people. It had to be lightened up. It had to stay in the spirit of the series._

_So I threw in a giant robot. And stuff. And suddenly, it felt more Nisekoi-ish. It didn't feel heavy and suffocating. _

_And things went on from there. I wanted to make sure that each girl got her little spotlight, since that's kind of what Nisekoi's about. At the same time, I couldn't just leave the black suits and the labcoat girl hanging. You can certainly have an antagonist with no backstory, but these antagonists were OC and came out of nowhere. They needed some anchor into the world. And then things started getting meta, because I was reading so much material, going back over so many chapters, it was bound to get meta._

_And finishing up this long afterword is about the ending. Just how plausible is the theory put out here? Well, I won't say that I did anything intensive like "research" with Nisekoi (LOL). But having a few volumes on hand and the Internet to fill in holes, I was able to go back and scrutinize a lot of pages to be as faithful as I could to the series. At one point, I was even combing through chapters just to find details for the layout of Tsugumi's apartment. But of course, I was too lazy to thoroughly read through the entire series again. In addition, there are actually a good number of inconsistencies that Komi creates when he talks about the past, especially with the addition of Kanakura Yui. Of course, these can be easily worked around (as I did), so it's all up to Komi's ability and perhaps the foresight of a good editor to handle that in publication. It's the sort of thing that's expected with a weekly publication._

_In any case, because of my laziness and these inconsistencies, the theory could probably be picked apart somewhere. But **the result** is something I very much want to happen in the original series. That's because choosing just "one" girl is very painful with the way the relationships are set right now. No matter what, some girl is going to get hurt, and it's not just as simple as "he doesn't like me." The relationships that Komi has drawn have huge splash damage if you look at them in a serious light. But I guess we'll see how it ends up in the near future (as someone has pointed out to me, there has yet to be a Jump romance to hit 200 chapters. I believe that's correct, although I haven't looked very hard to verify). _

_And why the To Love-Ru reference? Well, because To Love-Ru switched gears from the realistic, drama-filled tone of series like I''s and Ichigo 100% to the kind of light comedy that we see in Nisekoi today. In a sense, Nisekoi is To Love-Ru's successor, with moe expressions instead of nudity._

_So, that's all about the fic! Wait, what about that next chapter? Well, that's up to you actually! I'm thinking of writing some bonus chapters now that the main story is over, to expand on certain aspects. I'm divided on what to expand on first, so I'll have a poll up for you guys to decide on my profile page!_

_**And lastly, thank you all for reading this fanfiction.** I hope it kept you entertained at the very least. As for the reviewers, a double thanks! Reviews are one of the ways writers on this site can find out what they're doing right and what they're doing wrong. Ditto to those that favorited and alerted. But of course, this couldn't have happened without you, the reader! So thanks! Like really! I'd use more exclamation marks, but FF won't let me!  
_

* * *

**_See you next time!_**


	19. Bonus Arc - Haru's Christmas 1

**Bonus Arc**

**Haru's Christmas**

_Part One_

* * *

"You're going to a Christmas party with Ichijou-senpai and everyone?"

"Yeah, it's going to be at Chitoge-chan's house. Do you want to come too, Haru?"

Onodera Haru was in her room, lying on her bed as she talked with her older sister on the phone. It was the night of Christmas Eve and the spirit of Christmas had passed through Bonyari's streets. The shopping district was full of lights and colorful promotions. On every street corner, there was a Santa Claus handing out fliers or asking for donations for the poor. And a line had formed at the local WFC that stretched all the way outside to the local WcDonald's.

"Uhh...sorry, Onee-chan. I can't. I'm...doing something with Fuu-chan for Christmas."

"Oh! Ok, I understand, Haru. Chitoge-chan was really looking forward to you coming, but I'll tell her that you're busy."

"Thanks...sorry I can't go."

"It's ok. Have fun with Fuu-chan, alright?"

"Ok. Thanks, Onee-chan. Yeah, I'll see you later."

_Click._ Haru ended the call.

And promptly buried her face into her pillow.

_Ah...what did I just do?_

A lie. Onodera Haru had just told her sister a lie. The truth was that Fuu-chan was visiting her family for Christmas. In fact, all of Haru's friends had seemed to have made plans. It was just Haru that hadn't given a single thought to Christmas.

And it was all because of a certain beansprout upperclassman named Ichijou Raku.

It had been over half a year since the Bonyari Invasion. Raku and the others had become third-year students while Haru, Fuu, and Paula had become second-years. The older students seemed to be more busy now that they had to study for university entrance exams or make preparations for their future careers.

Chitoge had said that she would go to university so that she could better help out in her mother's corporation. There were talks of the Flower Corporation creating a Bonyari branch. Tsugumi, of course, was also planning to attend the same university. Although Claude had suggested a prestigious private university for them to attend, the two had decided to go for a high-level public university in Bonyari instead.

Raku was still wanting to be a civil servant, so he was hoping to enter a competitive university where he could get serious education to better his chances in the recruiting exams. With his grades being average at best, Chitoge and Tsugumi were working hard to help him during this final year.

As for Marika, she was still adamant about marrying Raku and becoming a housewife, but her abysmal grades in the second year meant that, unless she went to cram school, she would likely be unable to graduate with everyone else. Chitoge had grudgingly accepted to tutor Marika so that she would only have to go to cram school twice a week.

Ruri was still going ahead with her plans of becoming a translator and was planning on going to America after graduating to study English. Shu had decided to pursue a career in photography and, after graduation, he was planning on doing some traveling. Although Ruri was being reluctant about it, it seemed like he would be tagging along with her to America for his first stop.

As for Yui, she would continue teaching at Bonyari High School, although she was planning on moving to an apartment to give Raku some space while he was studying.

Lastly, Kosaki had decided to go to university to explore her options. Although Mamadera wasn't very happy about it, Kosaki had agreed to go to a university with an art program so that she could also hone her strengths in decorative sculpting.

In the end, the whole gang would be splitting up and going down their own paths. It almost seemed like the confessions had never happened. Everyone was getting along and going on with their lives.

But Haru knew it was just on the surface. Kosaki had talked with her over the past few months and a lot had happened since the Bonyari Invasion. She and Chitoge had found out the truth about Raku's feelings during their summer adventure, but they hadn't confronted him about it yet. Raku had finally seemed to gotten back to his old self during the summer and the two girls didn't want to ruin that. Because this was the last year where they were guaranteed to all be together, Chitoge and Kosaki had decided to let the year pass by like normal. Things would change after graduation, but they still had one year left of their youth.

Haru felt the same way. Although she didn't hang out with the older students as much anymore, they were still some of her best friends.

But that was the reason why she had declined the invitation to the Christmas party. It was why she had lied to her sister, the best sister anyone could ever ask for.

It was because they were all her friends. They were important to her.

And Haru didn't want to get in their way.

Even though she had confessed to Raku, that didn't mean that she wanted to pursue her feelings. It was still a fact that Raku was in love with her sister. It was still a fact that Tsugumi, Chitoge, Yui, and even Marika were all closer and more suitable for Raku than she was. Although Paula had said that it didn't matter that she didn't have a key, it _really_ did matter.

The key was a piece of their childhood. They had all been together back then, they had all had a connection before Haru was even in the picture. They were all older than her, they were all in this phase of life that she was one step behind.

The past few months were enough to show that. She rarely saw Raku in school anymore. The only times they had interacted were during the summer adventure and when he came by to talk with her sister. Sure, sometimes they went on little eating adventures in the shopping district, but it wasn't like a date or anything.

After the Bonyari Invasion, Raku had clearly been suffering. He had been troubled by the hard decision he had to make, a decision that was significant enough to destroy their warm, happy, everyday life. But to be honest, Haru couldn't imagine that she had been included in that suffering. That he had considered her in his decision, that he had thought for even just a second to pick Haru over any of the other girls.

It didn't make sense. It was so dream-like. And that was exactly what it was. A dream. A wish that Haru had been holding in her heart for too long.

And she was still trying to let go. She was still trying to give up, because she knew that nothing would come out of it. It was just an unrequited love. Sweet feelings that would turn bitter. Right now, during the time when they were happiest, when they were closest; this was the best time for her to let go and move on. To enjoy the times that her sister and Chitoge were sacrificing their feelings for.

Haru sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Maybe it was impossible. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she just wasn't able to let go of her feelings. Nothing she did worked. It was like trying to open her eyes when they were already open. It was a logical loophole, a mistake in interpretation.

Just. Not. Possible.

She had tried to move on. Maybe find someone in her year that she'd be interested in. But there was nothing. Nothing like the feeling she got around Raku. The rush that went through her body, like she was going down a steep drop. The warmth in her face and the strange thoughts that filled her head. The unnatural giddiness, the intensely calming, almost peaceful comfort that wrapped around her like a soft blanket.

People said that when you were in love, your world turned pink. What they didn't say was that it was a bright pink. A pink that was almost white because it was blinding and intense. Yet at the same time, it was tender and gentle.

Haru rolled on her bed. Well, none of this changed the fact that she had lied to her sister and had nothing planned for Christmas. She sort of regretted it now. Even her parents were attending some sort of Christmas celebration with some of their old friends. Here she was, having spent all her time worrying about her feelings and about Ichijou Raku and all the girls in love with him. Spent so much time that, now, she was all alone on Christmas Eve, with nothing to do but go to sleep.

Her heart gave a small pang. It wasn't a big deal, if you really thought about it. It was the kind of thing that people would tell you to get over. Maybe say something like, well, what about the children in Africa?

But it was still lonely. It was still a little sad that, on Christmas Eve, she was pretty much going to be a pathetic loser crying herself to sleep.

_Wait a minute, isn't that going a little too fa-_

Haru almost said something in retaliation, but then realized it was just herself. Ok, she wasn't going to cry herself to sleep. At least she still had her spirit.

_Ding dong._

Hm? A visitor? Didn't they know the shop was closed today? Couldn't they read the sign?

_Ding dong. Ding dong._

Haru huffed and got off the bed. Even a lonely, uneventful Christmas Eve wasn't going her way. Although, truth be told, she was a little happy about it. Moving around and answering the door. It got her away from dark thoughts. Maybe she could even muster up some real Christmas spirit.

"Hello? I'm sorry, but we're closed toda-" started Haru as she opened the door. But then her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock.

Because at her door were the black suits from the Bonyari Invasion.

* * *

**A/N: **_Hello everyone and happy holidays! Sorry for the lack of updates and skipping ahead on the Porno Arc. I've been working on an entry for the LINE Webtoons Challenge League called IBAK and it's been keeping me from working on the bonus arcs. It's partially a time issue, but also because IBAK has a different atmosphere from Nisekoi. _

_The Porno Arc was already in the middle of things, so I had a hard time getting back into it with the right "feel." I decided to start a new arc so that I could refresh on the Nisekoi spirit (kudos to Moriyama for the initial suggestion). I was actually hoping to finish this before Christmas, but personal issues caused even more time constraints. In any case, I hope to wrap this up by New Year's, but we'll have to see.  
_


	20. Bonus Arc - Haru's Christmas 2

**Bonus Arc**

**Haru's Christmas  
**

_Part Two_

* * *

Haru slammed the door shut. She locked it and dove towards the countertop, sliding over the surface and taking cover.

What was this!? Why were they here, at her house!?

The black suits!

What was going on? Were they here for revenge? But hadn't they lost at the invasion? Wasn't it like some sort of villain code to completely give up and move on to another town after being defeated so badly?

"Wait, she just opened the door, right?"

"You probably scared her off with your ugly mug."

"But it's hot chocolate! I thought she might want a hot drink..."

"Let's try ringing the doorbell again."

_Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong._

"You totally scared her off. Give me that mug."

"I guess I should have used a more plain-looking mu- hey! That's Haru-chan's hot chocolate!"

"Not anymore. Yeesh, I'm freezing."

"Don't you have any respect for the great Haru-chan!?"

"Hey guys, check this out. I think I figured out how to do this."

The doorbell began ringing in tune to "Jingle Bells."

"I don't get it."

"It's 'Jingle Bells.' What's not to get?"

"Would you stop messing around? Just bust the door open!"

"No! You'll scare Haru-chan!"

"Are you serious? We're proud members of the 'Shield of False Love.' Being terrifying is one of the perks. Oh wow. You know, this is pretty damn good hot chocolate."

"Thanks. I put in a little bit of burnt caramel sauce. It adds that little bitterness that makes you come back for more."

"Ok, ok. How about this, guys? It's Bump of Chicken."

What song was that? She couldn't figure it out.

Wait, no! That wasn't the point!

What were these guys doing in front of her house!?

Haru reached for the phone and decided to call 110. The cops would make it here in time, right?

_BANG!_

The door busted open.

"Oh. Crap. I was just kidding..."

"Look at what you did! Don't you know this store has to open later this week!?"

"What? They open up after Christmas? Talk about dedication. You know, my local sweets store back at home just completely clears out until after New Year's."

"Guys, guys! TM Revolution! Can you hear it?"

"For god's sake, would you leave that poor doorbell alo- Oh wait, wait. I think I got it. 'Heart of Sword,' right?"

"Sorry, Haru-chan. We'll make sure to fix this right up. We have some connections in the organization, they're quick and reliable at stuff like thi-"

The black suits came to a stop as they peered over the counter.

Onodera Haru had fainted onto the floor.

* * *

"Ugh..."

Bleary. Haru's eyes fluttered. Her face felt cold and stiff. Haru reached around for her blanket and then pulled it over her head.

"That's right. Be jealous."

Hm? Who was that? Someone was in her room?

Haru peeked out from under her blanket. No wait...this wasn't a blanket.

This was a black suit. She looked up and saw a man with black sunglasses look down at her and smile.

"KYAAHH!"

"HARU-CHAN!? HARU-CHAN, WHAT'S WRONG!?"

"ARE YOU INSANE, YOU'RE DRIVING! DON'T LOOK BACK HERE!"

The car skidded on the icy road and nearly hit a light pole.

"This is why I swore off fanclubs," said the black suit sitting next to Haru. Haru realized that she had been hugging his waist and quickly scrambled back to the other side of the car.

"W-Where are you taking me...?" said Haru, hating herself for the waver in her voice. Oh no, tears were already starting in her eyes. She couldn't believe it. She was going to cry right from the start!

"You bastard! What are you doing back there!? Why's Haru-chan crying?"

"Damn it, pipe down! Let me handle this." The black suit smoothed out his jacket and looked over at Haru. "You might want to put on your seatbelt."

Haru bit her lip, but didn't make a move. The black suit sighed and reached over for her belt. Haru squeaked and the car made another sharp turn.

"Would you control yourself already!? You're going to get us killed!" shouted the black suit at the driver. He finished buckling Haru in and then went back to his seat to secure his own seatbelt.

Haru was shivering. She was frightened. These black suits had just broken into her house and kidnapped her. And now they had secured her safety with a seatbelt.

She started to cry for real. This was too much. What was going on? Why were they concerned for her safety? And where was her hot chocolate!?

"Did you make her cry!? I swear to god, I will pull over right now if you made her cry!"

"I didn't make her cry! She cried all on her own!"

"Ok guys, what do you think? Classic Christmas songs or Nishino Kana? Wait wait, how about Christmas songs _by_ Nishino Kana!?"

"What do you guys want from me?" said Haru, her throat finally unlocking.

"Look, girl. We're the ones asking the questions here," said the black suit, shoving the driver's face back towards the road. "So you better answer as truthfully and quickly as possible! Got it?"

"Y-Yes..."

"Ok. Hold on," said the black suit. He leaned over into the front seats and furious whispering between the three black suits began. After a few minutes, the black suits seemed to come to an agreement.

"Alright. So first question."

Haru waited, her heart beating painfully. What could they possibly want to ask? Chitoge had been the one that beat their boss. Were they going to ask for Chitoge's whereabouts? She'd have to throw them off. She'd tell them that they went on a trip out of the country. No wait, that was too vague. She needed to be specific to give truth to her lie. Ok, she would tell them that they were lined up at the nearby WFC. But what if they took her along to go check? Well, she could tell them that they'd probably left and she had no idea where they were. But then...wouldn't they get angry? Wasn't that a bad thing?

"...Are you ok?" asked the black suit. Haru's face had grown more and more pale by the minute.

She let out a little sob and nodded.

"Ok...anyways. The first question. Now remember. If you don't answer me truthfully, then we won't be nice anymore. We'll have to play hardball."

"STOP SCARING HER, YOU BASTARD!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP! ARE YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD? I HOPE TO GOD YOU HAVE INSURANCE!"

The black suit turned back to Haru.

"Now listen carefully and answer, Onodera Haru!"

Haru gulped. Her hands clenched onto the front of her pajamas.

"Do you like duck?"

"Yes, I do!" said Haru. Wait.

Huh?

The black suits made a collective sigh of relief.

"See? What'd I tell you? No one hates duck except people who've never ate it."

"I'm glad I made a reservation at the restaurant now. Did you know they do an authentic Peking Duck _and_ sushi?"

"Ok guys. You know what, I didn't have any Nishino Kana or Christmas music. So we're just going to listen to Maximum the Hormone."

Both black suits grabbed his hand before he could insert the CD.

"Let's try something a little more festive, yeah?"

"Do you have any Oku Hanako?"

"How is that festive? Look, just put on some UNCHAIN-"

More furious whispering.

"Ok, Onodera Haru. Please tell these idiots that you'd rather listen to UNCHAIN than ONE OK ROCK."

"Uhm...can we listen to Hey! Say! JUMP?"

"WHAT!?"

"H-Haru-chan...is that...really what you like?"

"Ok, I've got Super Junior!"

"NO! Absolutely not! We are not listening to that crap! You know what, just put on ONE OK ROCK!"

In the end, they finally settled on_ enka_ music that Haru was a fan of.

"...This girl has varied tastes, huh? I thought Kirisaki Chitoge was the one that liked _enka_."

"This is pretty soothing actually."

"Oh shut up. I know you're just sucking up."

"So Haru, I've got _these enka_ CDs too. What do you think?"

"HEY! How dare you refer to Haru-chan so casually!"

Haru had no idea what was going on anymore. Now that some time had passed, her mind had cleared up and she was starting to notice her surrounding environment.

They were in a sedan old enough that there were only manual locks. The heater didn't seem to work, which was the reason why it was freezing inside. There was dust all over the seats and the windows were discolored. Haru was hesitant to put her feet on the floor.

"...Can I ask you something?"

"No, I made it clear that we're the ones asking the que-"

The driver slammed the brakes so that the black suit's face jammed into the headrest.

"Of course you can, Haru-chan," said the driver, picking up speed again. "What do you want to know?"

"...You guys aren't trying to hurt me, are you?"

"Of course not! Please do not worry, Haru-chan. We have no intentions of harming you or doing anything malevolent!"

"Oh. Ok. Then...why did you guys kidnap me?"

The car swerved again.

"Just concentrate on driving! I'll explain this."

"No! NO! So far, you've done everything _except_ explain!"

"That's because you've been interrupting me with Haru-chan this, Haru-chan that-"

"Hey guys-"

"SHUT UP!" said both of the black suits. Haru felt her fear slip away a little. It was like watching a comedy act. These guys were idiots.

"Ok, Onodera Haru. This is the deal. #163 over there-"

"You can call me Satou."

"...Anyways. _Satou_ is part of your fanclub."

"I recently joined the Bonyari High School Haru fanclub specifically-"

"And he was stalking you tonight-"

"It was not stalking! It was surveillance! One's for perverse desires, the other is for the sake of security and peace of min-"

"Look, the point is, we've been watching you, Onodera Haru. And we've seen that perhaps you, more than anyone else, did not come away from the Bonyari Invasion entirely unscathed-"

"Yamada-san is just dressing it up. He's awfully sorry that he shot your love letter to pieces."

"#163! What the hell do you think you're doing, giving away my identity like that!"

"I'm Karuizawa."

"#255!"

"What. We're off-duty," said Karuizawa, browsing the track list of an _enka_ CD.

"You were the one that blew up my letter?" said Haru, remembering back to the Invasion. That's right...there had been a sniper and Paula-san had saved her. But her love letter to Raku had been destroyed...

"That...That was...I mean..."

Yamada suddenly looked like a little kid that had just been caught by the teacher.

"Sorry," said Yamada, looking away from Haru's gaze. "I was just following orders, but I guess I did a bad thing."

"_Yamada-_"

"Ok! I really did do a bad thing. I took those treasured feelings of yours and turned them into scrap. Anyways, the point is that me and #369, the other guy that was with me, wanted to make it up to you-"

"...#369? Wait, he's #163 and he's #255. And you're..."

"...I'm #10," said Yamada reluctantly.

"Who's #369?"

"Ah, he couldn't come with us," said Satou. "But he's awfully sorry too. He's the one that invited your parents to a Christmas party so that you'd be all alone at home."

"..."

"Eh? N-No! Haru-chan! That's not what I meant! I meant that we were waiting for you outside, in the dark, watching your every move-"

"Shut up already," said Yamada, kicking the front seat. "So, the point is that I'm making it up to you with a nice night out on Christmas Eve. And #163 over there-"

"Satou."

"..._Satou._ Wanted to come along to make sure I did things properly."

"Then...what about Karuizawa-san?"

"Is that seriously your surname?" said Yamada. Karuizawa nodded absentmindedly, still browsing through the tracks. Yamada sighed. "Yeah. Well, _Karuizawa's_ here for a different reason. He wanted to ask you a favor actually."

"Huh? A favor?"

"Yeah. Haru, you're good friends with Paula, right?" said Karuizawa, turning in his seat to face her.

"Paula-san? Well...I mean, I want to think that we are but..."

"Great! Hey, can you give me some advice? I'm thinking of asking Paula out."

Haru blinked. What? Ask Paula out? For what? A date? Wait a minute. This black suit...this person that had helped in destroying her school-

Wanted to...

"Uhm..."

"Look, don't mind him. He's just along for the ride," said Yamada. "Now, I hope you're ready for duck and sushi. Because that's where we're going first."

"Wait, shouldn't we head to the theater first? It's a long movie and Haru-chan might feel sleepy on a full stomach-"

"No. Are you stupid? If we go to the theater on an empty stomach, we're going to be peckish. And then we're going to spend money on concessions. Do you know how overpriced concessions are? I am not going to fill my stomach up with jacked-up popcorn so I can survive long enough to poke at a deliciously roasted duck. Duck like that deserves to be devoured."

"Wait a minute. A movie? Duck? What exactly are we doing tonigh-"

"Everything!" said Karuizawa excitedly. "Dinner and movies and shopping-"

"Maybe we should go shopping first. Haru-chan's still in her pajamas-"

"Who cares? I've been out in pajamas before. You get some weird looks, but it's not like you'll see anyone you know-"

"That's not the point. It's indecent! People will be ogling at Haru-chan in her bedtime fashion-"

"-and karaoke and driving to Tokyo to look at the lights and eating Christmas cake and staying at a hotel-"

"A hotel!? Wait a minute. I didn't hear anything about a hotel."

"I booked it. We're just going to stay for a couple of hours."

"Why would you book a hotel, Yamada!?"

"Do you know who's paying for all this!? Me! If I'm going to be splurging on Christmas Eve, I'm damn well going to splurge! If that means staying at a swanky hotel room for two hours, then damn it, we are staying at a swanky hotel room for two hours!"

Haru sank back into her seat. This...this was a dream, right? Or a nightmare? Whatever, either way, she had to be sleeping! Maybe she really had cried herself to sleep. Haru pinched her cheek. Nope, nothing. But that wasn't a sure thing, right? It was a dream, so anything could happen, right?

"Onodera Haru! Hey, Onodera HARU!"

Haru looked up to see Yamada right next to her.

"I know this is probably all a big shocker to you. Woohoo. Get over it. I did not set all this up for you to be star-dazed and thinking this is all a dream or whatever. You _will_ have fun tonight and you _will_ feel happier by tomorrow morning. Do you understand?"

Irritation. Suddenly, there was this flash of irritation that blew all her fear and anxiety away. What was this guy's deal? He said that he had planned all this to make up for shooting her love letter, but he was acting like a total jerk about it!

"No, you understand," said Haru, sitting straight up. "I don't particularly care about that love letter anymore, so you don't have to do anything. But if you're going to act all high and mighty this whole night, then I'd rather stay at home! Satou-san, please take me back."

"Wait, wait. This is the Christmas night your grandchildren will hear about when they're younger! Are you serious? This is the best Christmas Eve you'll ever have!"

Haru gritted her teeth and glared at Yamada.

"That's fine! I'd rather have a horrible Christmas than spend it with a jerk like you!"

"_YAMADA!_ Lord have mercy, I will pull this car over!"

"Cool it!" said Yamada. He looked back at Haru with a strange look on his face. It was something like admiration. "Ok. I got it wrong. You're right. This wouldn't be very fun if we're not treating each other like equals."

Yamada held out his hand to Haru.

"Let me apologize. My name is Yamada. I'm the #10 in the organization, 'Shield of False Love.' Today, I wanted to invite you, Onodera Haru, to a night out for Christmas Eve to make up for what I did to you during the Invasion. But...I suppose that's not the only reason."

Yamada glanced at Satou and Karuizawa. He sighed and gave a wry smile.

"Sure, Satou's the only one that's part of the Haru fanclub. But I'll be honest. It's a sad thing to see a girl crying alone on the night before Christmas," said Yamada. "So what do you say, Onodera Haru? Will you let us take you out tonight? I promise that, at the very least, you won't have tears in your eyes at the end of it."

"Believe us, Haru-chan! That's all we want," said Satou.

"At least watch the movie with us, Haru! It's that one movie from America, about black holes and spaceships-"

"Quiet! Don't spoil it for Haru-chan!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Satou! Everyone knows that already-"

"I didn't know that! I thought this was about a basement-"

"It's _Interstellar_, not 'Enter the Cellar,' you moron!"

And then they were shouting again. And the car was swerving again. The soft ballad of _enka_ music was filling the car.

Haru sat back, unable to stop the smile that was forming on her face.

Really...

Even a lonely, uneventful Christmas Eve wouldn't go her way.


	21. Bonus Arc - Haru's Christmas 3

**Bonus Arc**

**Haru's Christmas  
**

_Part Three_

* * *

"Which way do I go now, Haru-chan?"

"Umm...I think you take a right turn here."

"Onodera. There is no right turn."

"Oh. Then maybe a left?"

"This is a straight road!"

It had been two hours since the black suits had picked up Onodera Haru from her shop. Not knowing how to get to Tokyo from Bonyari, the black suits had asked Haru for instructions.

Haru was sure that this was the way. She had been to Tokyo with her family several times on road trips.

"I think we just need to go straight for a bit then. There's probably going to be a turn up ahead."

"Ok, Haru-chan! Don't worry, I'm sure we're going the right way," said Satou cheerfully. Haru looked outside, feeling a little nervous. There had to be a turn, right? It wasn't like they were lost or anything. Bonyari wasn't even that far away from Tokyo. Besides, they were in a modern time with GPS navigation and 4G networks. Getting lost was something that only geezers and ancients did. Anyways, she had a great sense of direction.

A grazing cow zoomed past Haru's window.

Wait a minute.

"Umm...S-Satou-san? I think I may have made a mista-"

"By the way, Yamada-san. How are things going for New Year's?"

"What? New Year's? It's not even Christmas yet."

"Sure, but it's only a week away. Besides, since we're taking Haru-chan out tonight, New Year's is going to be the only time left for that sort of thing."

"What the hell are you talking about? What sort of thing?"

"Oh? You're being awfully shy about this, Yamada-san. Perhaps you've already prepared something extravagant for the two of you...?"

"...Satou. If you don't explain in _words_ what the fuck you're going on about, this car is going to crash."

"He's obviously talking about the Boss, dude," said Karuizawa.

An explosion. Yamada exploded backwards, spraying spit all over the back of Satou's seat.

"W-What the hell are you saying!? Why are you bringing the Boss up!?" said Yamada, his face red all the way to his ear tips.

"The Boss? Are you talking about the little girl from the Invasion?" said Haru, her inner girl senses tingling.

"Yeah, that's the Boss alright," said Satou. "Not many people know this, but Yamada-san was a good friend of hers back when they were younger-"

"SATOU, SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Ehh!? Really?" said Haru, eyes sparkling with interest. But then she remembered that she was talking to people who had participated in destroying half of her school. "...Satou-san? About your Boss...what exactly does she do?"

"Oh, you wouldn't know, would you, Haru-chan? Just to clarify, we didn't really mean to destroy your school that one time. I mean...maybe the Boss did, but I'm sure she was just a little bit out of control."

_A little?_

"But we're part of a secret organization called the 'Shield of False Love.' Our sole mission as members of this organization is to prevent the end of this world's canonical timeline due to completion of its main crisis points-"

"SATOU, FOR GOD'S SAKE, WOULD YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH ALREADY!"

Yamada breathed hard as he finished gagging Satou with his tie. He sat back into his seat and smoothed back his hair.

"Listen, Onodera Haru. All you need to know is that our organization's main goal is the safety of this world. You could say that we are more important than the Japanese government or the US military. Although the destruction and reconstruction of your school, along with any unforeseeable consequences, were regrettable, they were necessary for the greater good of this world's safety. Take comfort in that the safety of yourself and your peers is of the utmost priority for our organization."

"I...see..."

Haru didn't really get it, but it didn't sound like they were bad guys after all. Chitoge had said something similar after the Invasion. Perhaps it had been a misunderstanding? Yeah, like how she had viewed Raku as a scummy womanizer, even though it had just been how things looked due to his situation...

Ugh. Again. She was veering back onto that depressing road again. Haru shook her head and tried to stop thinking about it.

"In any case, whatever business I have with the Boss doesn't matter right now," said Yamada, clearing his throat. "What's more important is that we reach our destination. But it seems like we've still got a long way to go, so let's do something else to warm up for the night."

"Yay! Road trip games!" said Karuizawa, sitting up straighter. "Let's play! Let's play!"

"Also, put on some tunes, Karuizawa. Preferably Crystal Kay," said Yamada, brushing back his bangs. "Cause we're cool cats."

Silence.

"Pfft..."

"Ghhrrff..."

Haru held her hand to her mouth, her body shaking.

"What? What's with you guys?" said Yamada, watching the other three try to suppress their laughter. "What's so funny!?"

"Nothing...it's nothing."

"Gffufufu..."

"Yamada-san...um...how old are you again?"

Yamada spent the next half hour with his hands pressed to his face.

"Ok, let's play the 'Did it!' game!" said Karuizawa after all the laughs had passed.

"The 'Did it!' game?"

"Hfhfhhmhmh."

"...Karuizawa. Take my tie out of his mouth."

"It's a variation on a popular drinking game," said Satou after the tie was removed from his mouth. "Karuizawa here is younger than the rest of us, so we usually play the opposite of the original."

First, a person will say something that he/she has done before. If you have never done it, then you take a drink. If everyone has done it, then the player needs to take a drink.

"Although, in this case, we'll just go by points," continued Satou. "The person with the most points will be the loser."

"And you have to clap everytime you get a point!" said Yamada.

"I've got the perfect one," said Karuizawa, rubbing his hands.

"Um...do we really have to clap?" said Haru. What if it was about something embarrassing or revealing?

"Of course. Shaming is part of the game," said Yamada, a devilish smirk appearing on his face.

"Well, Haru-chan, if you're uncomfortable about it-"

"Nope! She has to do it too. Don't butt in, Satou. Sometimes, you need to step out of your comfort zone to have fun. Especially if you're having fun with other people. Besides, you might learn something special from this."

Satou became silent.

"Satou-san!?"

"Ah no. I mean, I wasn't considering it, but it was like...I mean...everyone's doing it, Haru-chan."

"Why do you sound so guilty, Satou-san!?"

"Ok, let's start! I'll go first," said Karuizawa. "Uhhh..."

What would it be? Although Haru wasn't usually someone to have indecent thoughts, at times like this, it was the first thing to come to mind. The fact was that these sort of games were easy ways to coax out deep, dark secrets under the influence of group mentality. Not that Haru was thinking that hard about it. But her inner girl instincts were saying that it was best to be cautious at this point. One false move and certain boundaries could be crossed...

"Ok, I have cooked an egg sunny-side up."

Two claps. Haru didn't make a move.

"Alright. My turn," said Satou. He thought for a minute and then said," I have joined a Haru fanclub."

Two claps.

"Wait a second. Karuizawa, what the hell are you doing?"

"Hm? What's wrong, dude?"

"Are you telling me you joined a Haru fanclub?"

"Yeah. But I quit. I'm making a Paula fanclub."

"What!?"

"And I'm going to be the only member. Paula's my waifu."

"That's not a fanclub, you idiot!"

"It's your turn, Yamada-san."

"Oh. Ehem. Well. Let's see...uhh...give me a second. I didn't think this through. Alright...uhh..."

Yamada mumbled to himself for a few minutes.

"Ok. I got it." He cleared his throat. "I have...kissed someone on the mouth."

Nobody clapped.

"Aha~ Satou. You dog, you. Who was it? Let's hear all about it now that you've revealed it with your clap."

"I didn't clap, Yamada-san."

"Come off it. You're telling me it was Karuizawa?"

"Nope, not me."

"...Onodera? I don't believe it, but I guess I had you all wrong-WOAH!"

Yamada let out a cry of surprise as he realized that Haru had sidled up right next to him. Her eyes were twinkling with such brightness that he had to use his hand to shield them.

"Yamada-san. The person that you kissed. Could it be...your Boss?"

Spit exploded all over the car.

"Y-Yamada-san!"

"Dude, no way!"

"S-Stop! Stop right now! You better not think that! No, no, no! Don't you dare!" shouted Yamada, his face blazing. "Listen, you love-starved morons! I did not kiss the Boss! Ok? It wasn't her!"

"Then who was it?" asked Haru, leaning closer.

"I-If you must know...it was at a mixer with my circle in college," said Yamada, averting his eyes. "We had a few drinks so I offered to take her home."

"T-Take her home!?" said Haru and Satou. The car started to rock as it veered off the road.

"SATOU, FOR THE LAST TIME, KEEP YOUR DAMN EYES ON THE ROAD!"

"You never told me about this, Yamada-san," said Satou as he straightened out the car.

"There's not much to tell," said Yamada. "She just said I was cute and then gave me a kiss before leaving. That's it! It wasn't anything special, ok?"

"Eh? Are you sure, Yamada-san?" said Haru, her inner girl instincts on full blast now. "It sounds like she wanted you to take her home. You should've been more aggressive, Yamada-san!"

"That...that wasn't it at all," said Yamada.

"But you met her in your circle at college, right Yamada-san? Did you like her?"

"S-She was attractive. And I would be lying if I didn't have some feelings for her. We had the same classes and we liked to eat in the same spot. Turns out we had similar interests too, so we ended up talking a lot together."

"That's amazing, Yamada-san! It's like a destined meeting. Didn't you feel like fate had brought you together, Yamada-san?"

"Fate? No, Onodera. Nothing of the sort," said Yamada with a wry smile. "That wasn't anything like destiny. It was just a guy getting hot air in his head and doing all the wrong things."

"What are you saying, Yamada-san? It seems like you were getting along very well with this girl-"

"You think so, Onodera?" said Yamada, a bite appearing in his voice now. "If love was as simple as spending time with someone and a few kisses, then it'd be a cheap, damn flimsy thing, don't you think?"

Haru blinked at the sudden chill. Contrary to what she was expecting, Yamada didn't seem to be enjoying going back down memory lane.

"Yamada-san-" started Satou.

"I know," said Yamada, opening the window. "I'm cooling off."

Yamada put his arm out the window and looked out at the passing trees. Haru didn't know what to say. It was obvious from the silence that she had hit a sensitive spot. Was it one of those things again? Perhaps it hadn't actually gone well with the girl after all. Perhaps Haru had been making assumptions and messed up again.

Like her first impressions of Raku as a danger to her sister. Like how she had assumed it was as easy as playing matchmaker with Raku and her sister to make them happy. Like how she had assumed that she would be able to just discard her own feelings.

Assumptions. Plans. Hopes and dreams. The ideal state.

But it just wouldn't go her way.

She could never get it right.

Every single time-

Even though it looked like it would go so well-

She just couldn't do it.

She couldn't get it to work.

It wasn't like the world was against her.

She just didn't have it in her. She just made mistakes.

The thing was that Onodera Haru was just a second-year high school student. A girl who was in an unrequited love. As much as she wanted to be, she wasn't a _shoujo_ heroine or a damsel waiting to be rescued by her prince.

She was just a normal girl. With normal feelings. And normal frustrations.

Haru looked out her own window. The moon had started to peek out. Its soft glow was playing against her pajamas.

Really, it wasn't about hurting Yamada-san's feelings. As much as she felt bad that she had pushed things too far unknowingly, that really wasn't the issue here. At least not for her.

The real problem-

Which had always been the real problem-

It had never been a matter of throwing away her feelings.

It had never been a matter of confessing her feelings.

Or accepting them.

Or rejecting them.

Or hiding them. Or avoiding them. Or distracting them.

It was all about having them.

Just possessing these feelings.

That was the problem. That was the issue. And it was unsolvable. Like a curse that didn't exist. Like a trick in a mind that wouldn't bend.

"Sorry about that," said Yamada, rolling the window back up. "I sort of ruined it, I guess. Let's just move on. Onodera. It's your turn."

Haru played with one of her fingers. The silence continued to stretch.

"Damn it. I guess I really bust the mood," said Yamada, sighing. "Karuizawa, just play some tunes. We must be getting close, anyways-"

"I..." started Haru, her voice small and quiet. "I have had an unrequited love."

Nobody clapped. Haru looked over at Yamada.

"Yamada-san? What happened to the girl from the mixer?"

He didn't answer immediately. His mouth moved this way and that, as if he was carefully chewing on his words.

"She asked me out," said Yamada at last. "Then I rejected her."

Suddenly, the car came to a stop. The engine whined down and the lights went out.

They had run out of fuel.

* * *

**A/N: **_We need more Scandals and Zones in our life.__  
_


	22. Bonus Arc - Haru's Christmas 4

**Bonus Arc**

**Haru's Christmas**

_Part Four_

* * *

"How is this possible...?"

Satou was standing in a field of small bushes and tall grass. Lit only by moonlight partially covered in drifting cloud, the black suit surveyed the wide landscape that stretched endlessly before him.

"We...we must be out in the sticks. This is...nowhere near Tokyo. This...is this Chubu? _Aichi!?_ We're in Aichi Prefecture!?"

"Don't joke around. Does this look like Nagoya to you? We couldn't have possibly gotten that far anyways!"

"Y-You're right...I-It's just...there's nothing. For miles and miles...I have no clue where we are."

"Um...Satou-san..."

"Ah, not that I meant anything by that, Haru-chan! It's not like I'm doubting your directions! In fact, it was probably my fault! I must've driven in the complete opposite way or something! I mean, there's no way that Haru-chan's sense of direction is so awful that we drove completely out of the urban zone and nowhere near the direction of Tokyo. This can't be Haru-chan's fault."

"In any case, looks like we're lost. And we have no signal down here either," said Yamada, trekking through the tall grass. "We're stuck."

"Dude, catch!"

Karuizawa threw something at Yamada.

"What...what is this? It's kind of...is this-IS THIS A FISH HEAD!?"

"Oh...maybe there are some farmers around here. They might be using fish heads to nourish the land," said Satou as Yamada hastily dropped the fish head and wiped his hands.

"Satou, you can't be serious. Do you see all this grass? It's untrimmed. They're damn weeds. This is obviously a no man's land."

"Yamada-san, please. Are you trying to tell me that we're in some area where anything, say for example, **something incredibly violent and morally questionable,** could be done to someone, **perhaps a young female high school student** whose current whereabouts will not be investigated for the rest of the night, and not a single person would **know about nor be able to trace said events?**"

The three black suits looked over at Haru. Haru felt a sudden chill run down her spine.

Wait a second. That was an incredible run-on, but...huh? No, no, that couldn't be right. It was just Satou being awkward with his words again, right? Because it really did sound like this whole thing had been a ruse so that they could trek her over to this completely barren area that was surely not Tokyo, even though she had been listing off directions to Tokyo, and then...

Haru involuntarily took a step backwards.

"Um...Satou-san..."

"Haru-chan..." Satou was refusing to meet her eyes.

"Onodera Haru," said Yamada, his eyes glinting in the dark. "You were one of the people that was present during the final battle with our Boss. Even though you're a normal, high school girl like your sister, that was pretty incredible of you to be in the midst of that kind of chaos and still lend Kirisaki Chitoge your support..."

"Y-Yamada-san. What are you..." said Haru, her throat drying up. Wait, wait. Why was he talking about this? It was almost as if...as if he was trying to paint her in a _certain_ light...

"You knew...didn't you? When you came with us into this car so willingly. You knew what would happen here...didn't you?" said Yamada, stepping closer.

_Eh? No way...this...this can't be right._ Haru took another step backwards. Her body was starting to shake. She couldn't control it. _N-No way...right? Right?_

"We're sorry, Haru-chan...but it has to be done..." said Satou, stepping forward behind Yamada.

"Sorry, Haru..."

"H-hold on a second! I thought you guys were going to celebrate Christmas with me. I thought...no..." said Haru, scrambling back now. Predictably, she tripped over her feet and fell into the grass. _No. No...why? This can't happen...something like this can't happen. I haven't done anything wrong. I was having a bad day. This was going to be an awful Christmas, but it was supposed to get better, right?_

"Onodera Haru..."

Yamada was standing over her, his body completely covered in shadow, the moonlight blocked by his silhouette. Haru couldn't move. Again. It was like when that monster had looked at her in the Invasion. She was terrified. She was petrified. Her body wouldn't listen.

"Yamada-san...please don't..." said Haru, tears welling up. Crying. All she could do was cry. All she could do was fumble on the ground and be a damsel in distress. She was the victim. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't like the world was against her. These things just happened.

And she couldn't do anything about it.

_Senpai..._

She just wished she could. But she couldn't.

_Senpai...Ichijou-senpai..._

Even now, she was depending on a miracle that couldn't happen. Wouldn't happen. Because she wasn't really a victim. She wasn't really the protagonist. She was a side-character. She was overshadowed by so many others whose needs were greater, more important.

Onodera Haru was never in the running anyways.

Who cared about her?

_That's right. I...can't do anything. There's nothing I can do. Because if I do, then..._

If she did, then her sister would get hurt. The boy she loved would be hurt. The girls that loved him would be hurt.

It was better to be a martyr.

A sacrifice was all she was worth.

It was better this way for everyone.

Sometimes, that was just what you had to do. You had to be a good person. Stick to your moral fiber. Give way for someone else. Someone luckier. Someone better. Just let things happen to you, since you never had a chance in the first place.

Onodera Haru could die here and the world would go on. Perhaps there'd be sadness. Perhaps there'd be pain and lingering feelings.

But it was not like Haru was _necessary_ for this series.

She wasn't even in the same grade. She had no treasured connections. She was just there for the little sister fetish. She wasn't even in the top 5 on the character polls. No one's seen her in the past few chapters anyways.

Bye-bye, Haru.

It was nice knowing you.

* * *

And so Onodera Haru was killed that night. Her body was ravaged by an insatiable fan that had decided that he could take out two birds with one stone. After all, Onodera Haru was a liability in the long run. But unlike the other characters the "Shield of False Love" protected, her existence was hardly exclusive. A terrible, but memorable Christmas. At the very least, her family and close friends would remember.

Ironically, this Christmas ended up being the event that drew them all closer together. Neither Chitoge nor Ruri went to America. They stayed in Bonyari to support their friend, Onodera Kosaki, in her time of grief. The three became extremely close and all ended up going to the same university.

Ichijou Raku, never directly having heard Onodera Haru's feelings from herself, hadn't gotten the clue. But nevertheless, he felt remorse for Haru's death and paid more attention to Kosaki after the fact. And so, Onodera Haru's death ended up also being the piece that connected Raku and Kosaki, allowing Raku to take the leap and finally make his decision.

Tsugumi stayed with Chitoge and continued to be friends with the Nisekoi group. Marika, having lost Raku to Kosaki, went into depression and ran away to the mountains, where she stayed in solitude and isolation for several months. However, this also ended up being a good thing, as when Marika returned, the mountain air, natural diet, and frequent depression-driven sleeping had allowed her body to heal up nicely.

With the Nisekoi group regularly visiting her in the mountains, her spirit was reinvigorated and Marika began to use her father's connections with the political force of Japan more seriously. In a matter of years, she had successfully reinstated polygamy within Japan as a limited practice.

As for Fuu-chan? She and Paula ended up becoming good friends in the absence of Haru. Perhaps _a little more_ than friends during the year when Tsugumi had moved into the dorms at Chitoge's university.

* * *

**Bonus Arc**

**Haru's Christmas**

**END**

* * *

**AFTERWORD**

_And so, that was Haru's Christmas. A bit depressing in the end, but I think the end results made everyone happy, even for Haru fans. See, even if Haru was killed at the end, it's not like it did any harm. It actually made everyone's life better! I'm sure Haru felt great when her life was flashing before her eyes, because she could see that being a martyr is her TRUE ROUTE. Anyways, thanks for reading, we'll see if I can wrap up the previous bonus arc soon too._

_Are you happy now, Haru?_

_I ruined your life. I killed the spirit of Nisekoi for you. Everything so you could have your way. I finally made it so you actually gave up instead of just saying you'd give up and listlessly continuing your life in the shadow of your sister. And things turned out better than expected!_

_You're happy now, right Haru?_

_I did good, right?_

_Praise me, Haru._

_This was for the fans. Muah! Thank you, thank you._

_#RIPHARU2015 (yolo)_

_New Year's Resolution! More depressing Haru fanfics!_

_But more importantly-_

_That was for you, Haru._

_I did it for the greater good._

_Your good._

_Can I have a cookie?_

...

...

What the hell.

What was that?

Are you kidding me?

What is that? A joke?

It's god awful. It's disgusting. What is this?

Huh?

What is this? What the hell is this?

I feel sick.

I don't want to die.

I still have things to do.

I didn't watch that new historical drama yet.

I still have to finish the holiday candies I was making with Mom.

I have to help my sister get together with Ichijou-senpai.

I have to pass my exams.

I have to graduate high school.

I have to go on a trip with Fuu-chan.

I have to become friends with Paula-san.

I have to move on from...

I can't...

I can't die right now...

I can't. I won't. I don't want to. Even if everyone's life is happier because of that, I can't-

Because...

I...

**_I want to be happy too._**

**_I want to be happy with them._**

**_Together...with everyone..._**

* * *

Onodera Haru listened to her instincts. Even as her heart was still swaying, even as her reasoning was still playing through the future, her body knew what it had to do. The most important thing that any character in a serialized work needs in order to continue existing-

**SURVIVAL.**

You can't trust the author. You can't trust the fans. It's up to yourself, your _character,_ to bring them all onto your side. To cheer for you, to root for you, to believe you have a fighting chance.

Onodera Haru's existence as a romcom character knew that. It knew that no matter how much its master wanted to just give up, there was no way it could. It had to keep fighting. It had to do so, for the sake of Onodera Haru!

So as the black suits converged on her-

As Yamada's hands slowly, but surely, reached out for her-

Her body lunged forward-

And chomped down on Yamada's hands.

"OWWWWW!"

Yamada reeled back, trying to shake Haru's teeth off.

"Ow! Ow! Damn it, Satou! What did I say! I knew it!"

"No...Haru-chan. That can't be true..."

"HaruHaru...you _betrayed_ us..."

"Karuizawa, why are you using that dramatic voice? And did you just call her HaruHaru? Stop acting stupid! I can't ask for help getting this girl off my hand if I have to keep retorting to your crap!"

"GRR! GRR!" Haru's teeth clamped down harder on Yamada's hand. _I won't let you! I won't let you kill me! I can't die!_

"Damn it, Onodera! I thought we had something!" said Yamada, tears of pain in the corner of his eyes. "To think you'd take us to this place in the middle of nowhere just so you could exact your revenge on us..."

_Huh?_

Surprise overrode instinct. Haru's jaw slackened. Yamada was finally able to extract his hand from her mouth.

"NOW! GET HER!"

Satou and Karuizawa jumped on Haru and pinned her down.

"Hold still, Haru-chan! I swear, even though it looks like I'm about to do naughty things to you and we're in an extremely compromising position, it's not what it seems like! I'm just going to bind you with this rope that's had all the stiff hairs burned off and smoothed out with fire. It's not like I was thinking of using this for some kinky play or anything! It's just something I keep in handy in my pocket. I mean, when I say handy, I'm not talking about a service I'd like you to do to me, anywhere, anytime, anyplace-"

"Satou! Shut the hell up and tie her!"

"W-Wait! I think there's a misunderstanding," said Haru as Satou began wrapping her in rope.

"And what kind of misunderstanding is that!? That you were angry about me destroying your love letter during the Invasion? That you saw the kidnapping as a perfect opportunity to finally take me out!? Then you fooled us into thinking you knew the way to Tokyo with your supposedly 'amazing' sense of direction, but instead led us out to this place where no one would ever suspect to look for our bodies!?"

"Yeah! That misunderstanding!"

"And you were going to kill us with these fish heads that you prepared ahead of time, weren't you!?"

"W-What?"

"Wait, Yamada-san. How would you even do that?"

"What do you mean how? You just...put a bag over someone's head. And then wait for the stench to kill them."

"No, no dude. Don't you read? Your olfactory receptors temporarily turn off when it smells something bad. That's why farts stop smelling after a while."

"...Karuizawa. No offense here, but let the real men talk, ok? You're pretty good with music, but I...haha, don't laugh Satou, haha. I mean, come on. Everyone knows that farts stop smelling because they disperse into the air, spreading out the potency of the stench until it's unnoticeable-"

"Yamada-san-"

"Onodera, don't interrupt! Look, maybe you're fine with bad science, but I can't stand for that stuff. You know, I go on the Internet sometimes and these goddamn idiots are on the image boards, just spreading downright lies around to unsuspecting people who'll parrot whatever the hell they see first on a web page. It drives me insane. You know, that movie we were going to watch, _Interstellar?_ It was ruined because some science guys with the wrong assumptions had their crap just blasted all over by the media-"

"Yamada-san, some of those points were genuine. I mean, _how did he survive going into a black hole?_"

"Satou, for god's sake. Do you really want to stir that crap with me right now? There's something called a fucking_ gravity well-_"

"YAMADA-SAN!" shouted Haru.

"WHAT!? What the hell do you want Onodera Haru!? IF THAT'S YOUR REAL NAME."

"B-B..."

Haru clenched her eyes shut and used all her strength to jackknife out of Satou's grip. She rolled onto the grass, the rope trailing off her, and jabbed her finger into the air.

"BEAAARRR!"

Yamada whirled around. An enormous brown bear was looking down at him.

"No...no..." said Yamada, stumbling backwards. "That's not true...THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! NOOO!"

"Yamada-san! The Japanese wolf is extinct! The bear is not!" said Satou from back at the car.

"Oh. Ok. Wait, Satou!? What the hell! When did you get all the way over there!"

"I have Haru-chan and Karuizawa-san with me too!"

"You backstabbing bastard! This is the lowest thing you could've done!" said Yamada.

"I agree. That is horrible!"

"Yeah. Yeah, you heard that, Satou? The bear agrees with me! You're horrible, you son of a b-"

Yamada paused. Wait a minute...

He looked at the bear. The bear looked at him.

"Did you just..._talk?_"

"What?" shouted Satou from the car.

"I SAID, DID THE BEAR JUST TAL-"

Yamada's shout was drowned out as the car exploded with a deafening boom. Satou, Haru, and Karuizawa were blasted away into the grass as smoke and flames erupted into the sky.

"What...what the hell is going!?" shouted Yamada.

"Oh my god, it blew up!" said the bear.

"WHY ARE YOU TALKING!?"

"Y-Yamada-san!" cried Satou as he tearfully carried Haru and Karuizawa back over. He panted and gently dropped them on the grass. "I...I think we're ok. We weren't that close to the car."

Yamada brought him down with a flying dropkick.

"YOU IDIOT! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DITCHING ME! I mean, that's what you get for bringing everyone back to the bear!"

"Satou-san!" said Haru, running over to him.

"Ah...Haru-chan. I'm so happy that you're actually worried about me-"

"Please move!" said Haru, kicking Satou out of the way. She scrambled in the dirt for the fish head that Yamada had dropped earlier. "I found it! YAMADAAAA-SAAAAN!"

Haru threw the fish head into the air. It lobbed over the bear's head and landed behind him.

"Run Yamada-san! While he's distracted by the fish head!"

The bear continued to look at Yamada.

"He's not distracted at all!"

"Oh. Wait, that was for me? Oh, I'm sorry. Usually I get them whole..." said the bear. He turned around and picked up the fish head with his paw.

"...Wait a second. What kind of bear is this?" said Yamada.

"Many bears are capable of walking on two feet, Yamada-san," said Satou.

"I don't know if this is a bear..." said Yamada, peering at the bear.

"Yes I am! I'm a bear," said the bear. "Gao! Gaooo!"

"That's...not a real bear?" said Haru.

"Oh, phew. Thank goodness. I didn't know what I'd do, since playing dead doesn't work on bears anymore," said Satou.

"You just punch them in the nose, dude."

"Karuizawa, for the last time! Stop spreading around bad science! You punch sharks in the nose."

"Ahh...I messed up," said the bear, sighing. It raised its arms and lifted its head off, revealing a man in a costume.

"W-Who the hell are you!?" said Yamada.

"My name is Nakano Hitori. Please, let me explain."

"Yamada-san, we should hear him out."

"Satou, don't you see something suspicious about a guy who's wearing a bear costume in the middle of nowhere!?"

"That's...I have a reason for that!" said Nakano. "You see, I'm an _otaku._ A bear _otaku._ I've posted online frequently under the alias-"

"No one cares. Get on with it."

"Ah...right. I suppose no one would," said Nakano, looking a bit dispirited. Haru nudged Yamada sharply with her elbow.

"What?"

"You're such a jerk, Yamada-san."

"Do you want to hear his whole life history, Onodera?"

"So why are you dressed up as a bear, Nakano-san?" asked Satou.

"Well, you see. I love looking at bears. Bears have fascinated me since I was a kid. But...it just wasn't enough, you know? Bear models, bear costumes, bear mating documentaries-"

"What-" said Haru, with a flash of horrified disgust.

"You sick FREA-"

"Yamada-san! Please! This man is clearly a sensitive soul," said Satou, raising a hand. He walked over and patted Nakano understandingly on the shoulder. "Go on, Nakano-san."

"Satou, are you freaking serio-"

"_Please go on,_ Nakano-san."

"Right. So...I decided I needed to do something more. It wasn't just enough studying and observing bears. I...had to _become_ one."

Silence filled the field. The sound of the crackling fire from the car became unbearably loud. Satou started crying.

"You...are an inspiration, Nakano-san. That's truly the kind of spirit a fan needs."

_I see. It's not just enough being a fan of Haru-chan. I need to **become** Haru-chan._

_I bet this idiot is thinking about becoming Onodera._

_Oh no...I hope Satou-san's not thinking about becoming me._

_Hmm...I wonder if Paula likes bears._

"So I've decided to live the rest of my life the way bears do. I came to this place two years ago and have been living here since."

"You..._live_ here? How?"

"Well, technically, I live in that forest over there. There's a stream inside where I hunt for fish. I also eat berries and smaller wildlife. However, the scent of fish remains attract other bears, so I've ended up having to divert a bit from natural bear life and discard them in this field..."

"You put the fish heads here!?"

"Yes, I also blew up your car. I mean, I didn't mean to blow up your car, but I was thinking about how the car might ruin the carefully balanced ecosystem in the forest, so I couldn't let you guys get any closer. It was lucky that you guys ran out of fuel. I was actually just hoping to stall your engine, but I guess something inside blew up-"

"YOU BLEW UP OUR CAR!?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I'm a bear!" said Nakano, cowering.

"Stop it, Yamada-san! You're scaring one of our nation's potentially endangered species (depending on which region you're located in)."

"Satou, would you stop having Stockholm syndrome with this bastard!? HE BLEW UP OUR CAR!"

"And I'm going to eat you to get rid of the evidence," said Nakano.

"AND HE'S GOING TO EAT US TO GET RID OF THE-"

They all looked at Nakano. He had put the bear head back on his suit.

"I'm sorry. I can't risk you guys going to the police and compromising my life's dream. I mean, gao. Gao. GAAAOOO!"

"I understand, Nakano-san. It's a hard road, pursuing dreams for people of our kind-"

"SATOU, WOULD YOU RUN THE FUCK AWAY ALREADY! HE'S A GODDAMN CANNIBAL!" shouted Yamada, lifting Haru forcibly by the waist and running off.

"Actually, I'm a bear, so this isn't cannibalism-"

"WAAAAHH! Why is this happening!?" cried Haru as they ran from Nakano.

"Into the forest! We'll be sitting ducks if we stay out on this flat land!" said Yamada.

"GAO! GAOOO!"

Suddenly, the remains of the car exploded again, throwing the group headfirst into the forest.

"WHAT THE HELL, WHY!?"

Yamada and Haru rolled off the main path, twisting and tumbling through the bushes.

"HARU-CHAN! YAMADA-SAN!'

"SATOU-SAN!" shouted Haru as they continued falling. "LOOOOK OUTT!"

Nakano the bear appeared behind Satou and Karuizawa.

"GAOO! GAOOO! GAA-cough cough. Oh god, the smoke is reaching here. Oh no, it's going to trigger my asthma. Inhaler...I need an inhaler..."

Haru's voice drifted away as she and Yamada fell deeper into the dark forest.

* * *

**A/****N:**_ And now, back to radio silence. Also, Lagann: Yes. That was a Gurren Lagann reference.  
_


	23. Bonus Arc - Haru's Christmas 5

**Bonus Arc**

**Haru's Christmas**

_Part Five  
_

* * *

"Ow..."

Haru winced as she sat up straight. Judging by the little lances of pain, she was sure that she had bruises all over her body. She patted her hair and clothes to brush the leaves and dirt off.

"Yamada-san?" called Haru. She gingerly got to her feet and looked around. It was completely dark now in the forest. She couldn't see more than a few feet ahead of her. "Yamada-san?"

"I'm here, Onodera." The gruff voice came from somewhere in front of her. There was the sound of a metal flick and then a small flame lit up the darkness.

"Are you ok, Yamada-san?" said Haru, seeing him leaning against a log with a lighter in his hand.

"I think I busted my leg," said Yamada, trying to shift his leg out from underneath him. Haru knelt down and helped him adjust. "Damn that Satou. I'm going to kill him. What was he thinking, encouraging that bear maniac?"

"This doesn't look very good..." said Haru. The flickering light showed that Yamada's leg was quite swollen.

"Help me get it straight, Onodera," said Yamada. Following his directions, Haru rummaged around until she found a small log. She rolled it underneath his leg, keeping it elevated.

"What should we do? Should I go look for Satou and Karuizawa-san?"

"No. Are you insane? Forget that bear maniac, there's plenty of other dangers in a forest like this! Besides, it's pitch-black. You'd just get lost."

"But your leg-"

"My leg can handle a night. We can look for them in the morning. Right now, we need to set up camp," said Yamada. He reached into his suit and pawed around in one of his inner pockets. "Ah, here we go."

He pulled out a booklet with the title _Black Suit Survival Guide_.

"Ok...let's see...Terms and conditions...contract obligations...what to do if you're falling out of an airplane that has no pilot...what to do if you're being attacked by an angry mob...ok! There we go. What to do when you're stuck in a dark forest with a wildlife-obsessed lunatic on the loose."

"That's oddly specific."

"Ok, Onodera. I'll need you to go look for some firewood. This is what you'll need to find..."

After going through the booklet, Haru set off into the forest to look for firewood. According to Yamada, the lighter only had perhaps 30 minutes of fuel left in it. She had to hurry and find the proper wood for a fire.

Luckily, it seemed like it had been a while since rain had fallen in this area. Being a thick forest, Haru was able to find a good amount of dry sticks on the ground. She couldn't stray too far from Yamada though, as without his light, she couldn't see anything. She separated the sticks by thickness and also collected some small branches.

Thankfully, the log that Yamada had been leaning on already had some dry moss. He also tore pages out of the booklet to use as starter fuel. Yamada had Haru clear a circular space and put some rocks around it to contain the fire. She put down a bundle of moss and paper strips then arranged some smaller sticks over it. Yamada handed her the lighter so that she could light the starter fuel.

"Ah...it's just smoking and curling..."

"See that bit over there? That tiny piece that's glowing. Blow on it softly."

"Like this?" Haru blew at the glowing spot. It grew brighter, almost white in its center. But nothing happened.

"Again. Have some of the paper just barely touching it."

Haru moved some of the strips and blew again. This time, as the spot glowed brighter, the paper began to burn. And then, a tiny flame flickered to life.

"It worked!"

"Good. Now, make sure you don't choke the flames. Just feed the smaller sticks in to get the fire going, then lay down the larger pieces."

After about fifteen minutes, they had a warm, crackling fire ready.

Haru sighed in relief and huddled closer to the fire. The night had brought in a chill and she was still in her pajamas. She was glad that Yamada was a quick-thinker under these situations. With the fire, they'd be kept warm for the night and it'd keep animals at bay.

"Hah? Animals? Are you kidding me? Animals love fires," said Yamada.

"W-What!? T-Then, a bear could come here-"

"Don't worry. Real bears are pretty peaceful as long as we leave them alone."

"Really? But you said this forest was dangerous..."

"Of course it is! There are probably raccoons in here. Did you know Japan's raccoon population covers every single prefecture now!? Damn import pets. Those things are vicious!"

"Raccoons..."

"Don't underestimate them, Onodera. They'll steal your panties when you're not looking."

"W-Wha...why would they steal my panties!?"

"Exactly! Perverse monsters. As if the panties of a kid like you is worth taking-"

Haru threw moss at Yamada's face.

"In any case, we'll be fine if we just throw this around."

Yamada pulled a box of fabric softener out from inside his suit. He pulled out a few sheets and then threw them in the air. They floated gently in the air before blowing back into Yamada's face.

"Grah! GRAAHH!" Yamada shouted as he bundled the sheets into balls and threw them as hard as he could. They fell a foot or two around him.

"Whatever. This will keep animals away."

"Really...?"

"That's what the booklet sai...damn it," said Yamada as he looked at the torn-up booklet. "Look, just trust me, Onodera."

Haru really didn't want to, but there was nothing else that she could do.

"Alright. We've got a nice fire going. Let's have that delicious Christmas dinner," said Yamada.

"What are we going to...um...Yamada-san?"

Haru's question changed mid-sentence as Yamada pulled out a metal bottle, two packs of instant noodles, and two pairs of disposable chopsticks from inside his suit. Just what kind of magical suit was this...?

"I've still got some water left in this. Put it near the rocks, Onodera. Not too close to the fire though, you'll scorch it."

"Yamada-san, even if we can boil the water, these are bag noodles. How are we going to cook this without a pot-"

"About that. Now, this is something I learned as a kid," said Yamada, bending the bags to snap the noodle squares into smaller pieces. "Watch closely."

He opened the bags of noodles and took out the seasoning packets. Then he pushed the noodles down as flat as possible to the bottom of the bag. He tore open the seasoning packets and sprinkled them into the bag.

"And now, we just pour the hot water inside..." said Yamada after the water finished heating up. "Here, hold that for me-"

A few minutes later, two bags of instant noodles were half filled with hot water, the open tops twisted closed.

"If it's too hot for you, you can take that hairclip of yours, Onodera-"

Yamada slipped the hairclip over the twisted part.

"Just leave it on the ground for a bit, between your feet. But be careful not to let it spill. When it's not so hot, just give it a massage to make sure all the noodles are getting contact with the soup."

"Umm...is this safe?" asked Haru. "It's a plastic bag..."

"One bag is not gonna kill you, Onodera. But if you've got to settle your paranoia, just don't drink the soup," said Yamada.

The strong scent of instant chicken broth mixed with the overpowering, floral scent of the fabric softener. Haru thought that if she was a wild animal, she wouldn't be sure if the smell would attract her or make her run.

"Ok, let's eat! Thanks for the meal!"

For a few moments, there was only slurping as the two wolfed down their noodles. Although she was guessing, Haru thought it was probably the middle of the night right now, maybe 2 or 3 in the morning.

"I wonder if Satou and Karuizawa-san are alright," said Haru.

"They're probably fine. Satou's an idiot, but he's still #163 in the ranks."

"Is that a high rank in your organization?"

"...Look, just don't worry about it," said Yamada, sucking on his chopsticks. "We'll go look for them in the morning."

"But how are we going to find them? There's no phone signal out here..."

"We'll go back to where the car was. Even if we don't find them on the way out, it's better if we get out of this forest first before we start searching seriously."

"You're surprisingly reliable, Yamada-san," said Haru.

"Are you hitting on me, Onodera? Look, if my earlier comment didn't make it clear, I don't go for little kids like you-"

This time, Haru threw her slipper at Yamada's face.

"AGH! What are you doing!? Do you know where that slipper's been!? You were walking on rotting fish heads back at the field!"

"Stop calling me a little kid! I'm going to be graduating from high school this year!"

"Oh yeah? Could've fooled me," said Yamada, slurping down another bite of noodles. "Your body makes me think of an elementary-schooler."

"Ghh...well...you're in love with a little girl!"

"W-Wh...the Boss is not a little girl! She's already in her 20's!"

"No way! How can someone that looks like that possibly be in her 20's-"

"It's fact of life! Don't be jealous, Onodera Haru."

"W-Why would I be jealous of someone who looks like a little girl when she's in her 20's!? Please do not make false assumptions about me-"

"You know what you are, Onodera? A little sister!"

"What does that have to do with anything!?"

"It looks like you and me just don't get along," said Yamada, flopping back against the log.

"T-That's not true, Yamada-san..." said Haru, chewing on her chopsticks. "I've forgiven you for destroying my love letter and I don't think you're a bad person..."

"Hmph. Well..." Yamada went back to eating silently.

It was true though. Sure, just a few hours ago, she had thought that the black suits were going to kill her. But it had come as such a shock to her because she really did see them as good people, even if their methods were kind of weird and awkward. Even this silence between them now was more welcome than the anxiety that had been creeping into her chest.

Although she had said that she was not a little girl, it didn't change the fact that Haru was close to helpless in this situation. If Yamada had not been here, she was not sure if she would've made it through the night. And for that, she was grateful to Yamada. She was grateful to all three of the black suits, actually. Even if things hadn't gone how they had planned, even if they were now in a precarious situation, it was still preferable to the night that Haru could have spent. A night filled with self-loathing and loneliness.

'Heh. Yeah..." Haru wiped her eyes and smiled. Really, it was strange. Even though there was only this small fire, it felt infinitely brighter and warmer in this forest than she had felt at home lately.

'What are you crying about now?"

"I'm not crying!"

"Good then," said Yamada, drinking the soup from his bag. He exhaled with satisfaction and fed another stick to the fire.

The flames slowly began their march onto the stick. The wood melted into the white heat, turning into clumps of ash that settled into the dirt. Every few minutes, the sticks would shift in position as they fell apart in the fire. A small drizzle of sparks would drift into the air, flitting around like fireflies. Yamada kept a thick stick against the flames, watching the tip turn black and start to crumble.

Haru's eyes began to feel heavy and she was blinking frequently. Maybe it was because she had been staring into the fire for such a long time. Or perhaps she was tired. She rubbed her shoulders and tried to sit into a more comfortable position. Suddenly, a bundle of black hit her in the face.

"Go to sleep, Onodera. I'll keep watch," said Yamada. Haru picked up the jacket that he had thrown at her. It was wet on the inside from the crumpled ramen bag in the pocket.

"Yamada-san, this is-"

"I'm not taking a no for an answer, Onodera. Can't just leave you in your pajamas all night."

"No, but your jacket is-"

"I told you, Onodera! I'm not taking no for an answer!"

"..."

Haru tried to wipe off as much of the soup as she could, then wrapped the jacket around her. She felt a variety of bulky items press against her body. Just what sort of things were still in this jacket!?

She wasn't sure how to position herself for sleep, so she just lay on her side, brushing away twigs and rocks so she could put her head down.

"It's strange," said Haru, wrapping the jacket tighter around herself. "I feel really peaceful right now..."

"Heh. Even though you're stuck in a forest with a cannibalistic lunatic rampaging around?"

"...Well, if you put it that way-"

"It is pretty peaceful," said Yamada, bringing his stick up to his face. He sniffed the smoke and watched it rise in spirals. "Man belongs in nature, or something?"

"I don't know. It's just..." Haru took a deep breath and exhaled. Clean. Spotless. Out here in a forest full of dirt, rotting leaves, and probably a million bugs underneath her right now. But she felt so clean and light. Like she had been relieved of some clinging weight.

"I get it, Onodera. It's been a hard year for you, hasn't it? Take the peace of mind while you have it and go to sleep," said Yamada.

"...Yes. I'll do that..."

Haru closed her eyes. That's right, just go to sleep. Surrender to the blankness. For just a little bit...just for tonight...she could stop thinking. She could...

...

...

Ignore it.

Avoid it.

Run away from it.

Haru opened her eyes. The fire flickered in front of her, little shadows dancing.

"Yamada-san...?"

"What is it, Onodera?"

"...Why did you reject that girl from the mixer?"

Yamada didn't reply. Although Haru couldn't see his face from her position, she was sure that the question had taken him by surprise. She heard him shifting his leg a little and the fire stir up as he put another stick in.

"Because I didn't love her," said Yamada. "Even if I wanted to believe that I did."

"What do you mean...?"

Again, Yamada stayed silent. He stirred the fire with a stick, watching sparks rise from where the ash was being disturbed.

Eventually, when it seemed like Yamada had nothing more to say, he spoke.

"I knew the Boss from when I was a kid. She's the one who taught me the ramen trick," said Yamada. His tone was softer than usual. Haru sat up, the jacket slipping from her shoulders. "Stupid thing she learned from TV. She refused to eat ramen any other way for a while."

A bitter smile appeared on his face.

"We were just kids. Not even out of elementary school yet. We were just friends, the way guys and girls can so easily be friends when they're young. But we weren't really close."

"I messed up," said Yamada, laughing a little. "On her tenth birthday. Like I said, we were friends, but not close friends. Plus she was a girl. I didn't really care what she got for her birthday back then, so I let my parents choose. They got her an inkwash painting."

"..."

"Don't give me that face, Onodera. I was a kid."

"...I understand. Please continue."

'Anyways, she had always been sort of a spoiled brat. Some things happened during the birthday and she looked really down. No one else really cared, but I felt guilty. Because I was the only one that hadn't properly given her a present."

"Yamada-san, that's so cu-"

"Onodera, I will sew your mouth shut with a goddamn splinter if you-"

"Y-Yes. Sorry."

"Point is, I thought I could do something. Even if I hadn't cared before, I was a brat that watched way too much anime as a kid. She wasn't just some random friend that happened to be a girl anymore. She was a damsel in distress, so I had to do something."

"I found out that the real problem was that her favorite manga had just been axed. I went to the store and bought one of my favorite manga with my own pocket money. I looked around for her all day and found her at the playground."

_Here, take it._

_...What is this?_

_I heard your favorite manga got cancelled. So here's a better one! It's really good. I-It was your birthday yesterday, so I'll give this to you. Since...my present wasn't really that great..._

_..._

"She punched me," said Yamada, chuckling.

_Wasn't really that great!? It sucked! It sucked like Slam Dunk!_

_What!? Don't say crap about Slam Dunk!_

_Slam Dunk sucked! It sucked, sucked, sucked! Sports manga sucks!_

_Why you!_

"It was the first time I hit a girl. No one was around at the time, so it was just us two, a couple of brats, punching each other like it was the final arc in a battle manga," said Yamada. Perhaps it was just the reflection from the fire, but his eyes looked warmer than usual to Haru. "We fought until we were covered in bruises and tired out."

_He was on his back, on the sand. Panting, tears drying on his face, a girl sitting on top of him._

_"Does it hurt? Do you feel ashamed? A little girl just beat you up!"_

_It hurt. It was embarrassing. But he couldn't say anything. Because the girl was crying. Her tears were dripping onto his face._

_"I...I won't lose. I won't...ever lose anything again," she cried, sniffing and clenching her teeth. _

"Seeing a crying girl is a strange thing, Onodera. Normally, it's the most fragile thing you'll ever see," said Yamada, rolling the stick between his fingers. "Say the wrong thing and she'll just fall apart. But...the Boss was different. Seeing her crying back then, her face streaked with sweat and dirt, crap from her nose covering up that cut lip..."

_It had been the eyes. Those eyes that had been brimming with tears._

_Shining, victoriously._

_Blazing brighter than the sun setting behind her. More blinding than the tears that were blurring his vision._

"It's strange. Just strange. How do you fall in love with someone, Onodera? It just happened to me...for no reason..." said Yamada. "Maybe it's because I was just a kid. But I fell for her, hard. It was like she had just reached down and stolen my heart. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak."

Yes. She understood. It was strange, this feeling called love. It had snuck into her heart, just appeared when she hadn't been looking. The seeds of it, growing without her knowledge. The rush of it, coming when she least expected it to. So silently, so gently.

But now, it was fully formed. It was loud and intense. Aching. Drawing all of her senses to it.

"That's why I rejected that girl from the mixer, Onodera. Because I didn't love her like I love the Boss. I wanted to love her. I wanted to move on, to let go of my feelings. But it didn't happen. You know why, don't you? You know exactly why."

Yamada's face became haggard, like he was on the verge of dying.

"It's a sickness. This thing," said Yamada, pounding his chest. "It sinks in so deeply that you can't pull it out. Not without tearing bits of yourself apart. And if you manage to take it out, you're not the same anymore. The wound won't scar, it just festers."

The trees around them shook as a breath of wind passed through. The fire moaned and the leaves shuddered.

"You get it, don't you? Onodera? Onodera Haru...you understand. You understand why people tell you to confess even though there's not a chance. Even if you've never even talked to the person. Because keeping it in...just holding it to yourself, it's the worst thing you could do. It's a goddamn torture! It rips you apart from the inside!"

To love someone. To want to be with them. To want to touch them. To want to smile with them. To want to be there with them when there was nothing left and everything was falling apart.

This intense feeling-

This strange, unexplainable feeling-

To deny it. To crush it. Over and over again. Growing until it aches, then stabbing it. Smashing it. Grinding it into powder. Bleeding, bleeding, drowning in your own blood.

"But I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to throw these feelings away. I wasn't done with them. I didn't want to be done with them!" said Yamada, his voice growing louder. "I-! I...I don't know why I couldn't tell her. Maybe you can't love someone else until you've emptied your heart. I don't know why I couldn't move on. Just accepted that girl's feelings, just fallen in love again, because living a lie is better than this...this unspoken truth, this useless dream."

Haru cried. She held her hand up to her mouth, tears rushing down her face.

"Look at us, Onodera. Look at what we are," said Yamada, laughing bitterly. "It's not even about fear anymore. We're not afraid of being rejected. We're afraid of losing these feelings. We're brats that don't want to grow up, conceited whiners that don't want to wake up from their dream! Sore losers! Clinging failures!"

Yamada threw the stick at the fire. He grabbed dirt, grass, twigs, anything that he could reach for, and threw it at the fire. It moaned again, lashing out violently, spraying Haru with ash and char.

"Shit! It doesn't make any sense. Any of this. This shit!" shouted Yamada, laughing and crying at the same time. Haru clenched at her hair, pressing her wrists to her eyes.

Every word that Yamada said, whether it was true or not, kicked Haru in the face. Cold and hard, it broke her, little by little. The fire almost seemed to be taunting her, dancing out of her reach in this darkness, this suffocating darkness.

And the worst part was that she could leave. She could stand up at any time and run out.

But she didn't.

It wasn't that she couldn't. She wouldn't.

Because she was selfish. Because she was unrealistic. Because the world wasn't going her way, but it should. It damn should! It was her life! It was her feelings! Why? Why did it have to be her sister? Why did it have to be the people that she had come to care so much for? Why couldn't it be her, what reason was there? Why, why, why, why, why, it was all just a mess, why was it all a mess?

"It's a curse, Onodera. A curse we're keeping on ourselves," said Yamada, his voice hoarse and strained now. He threw one last stick at the fire and spat.

"You're right, Yamada-san. You're...right," said Haru, sniffing. She wondered how she must look. In her pajamas, dirt everywhere. Like a prisoner.

"Hmph. Am I?" said Yamada, slumping against the log. "Spending time and a few kisses. Maybe that's enough. And we're just making it hard for ourselves."

Haru wrapped the jacket around her once more. In the end, she was back where she started again. There was no answer, no magic solution she could use. Was it really impossible for Onodera Haru to have a happy ending? For her feelings to amount to something...more. More than just a curse...

"But Yamada-san..." said Haru with a sarcastic smile. "You have it better...there's nothing stopping you from confessing to your Boss..."

"Hah? What was that?"

"We both have unrequited feelings. But Yamada-san, aren't you being a little hasty in thinking we're exactly the same? Yamada-san, I can't confess to Ichijou-senpai because he loves my sister. But from what I heard, there's nothing stopping you from taking the next step with your Bo-"

"Onodera!" said Yamada, scoffing. "I don't believe this. Are you..._judging_ me? _You?_"

"I'm just saying, maybe your problem isn't exactly that difficult to solv-"

"Oh, is that how we're going to play? You think it's easier for _me _to confess? You've _already _confessed! In fact, your situation is pretty much the prologue to a damn harem! Are you seriously going to try and say you've got it harder than I do?"

Haru felt a flash of irritation run through her.

"Yamada-san, the only reason you haven't confessed is because you're a coward! That is very different from my situation-"

"W-What!? I don't want to hear this from the girl that had to get thrown into a dogpile to get her feelings across-"

"I wasn't _thrown!_ And I didn't actually confess that time-"

"And look at you! You're a pretty young girl with so many things in common with the guy you like. Maybe if I wasn't a lackey that can't even fight properly against a bear nerd..."

"You're selling yourself short, Yamada-san! Look at how reliable you are, even with your leg broken! And you're so nice, planning a whole Christmas evening to make up for something like destroying a letter in the middle of an invasion..."

"You're nicer! Trying to give up your feelings for your sister, suffering all alone so no one else is hurt-"

"No, you are!"

"Damn it, Onodera, you are the better person here! Anyone will tell you that! In fact, Nakano! NAKANO, YOU FUCKING BEAR FREAK. GET OUT HERE! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE!"

"Y-Yes! Nakano-san! Please come here! Please tell Yamada-san that he's the better person!"

"NAKANOOOO!"

"Nakano-san!"

"Hitori, is that you? Hitori, where are you!"

"...Huh?"

"Eh?"

Suddenly, a beautiful blonde in a white cashmere sweater popped out of the bushes. Yamada's eyes went wide as two enormous breasts bounced in front of him.

"Ah...you're not Hitori..."

"W-What...who..." said Yamada, his mouth flapping like a fish's.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting your camping? I was just looking for my husband and I thought I heard someone calling his name-"

"...What," said Haru and Yamada together.

"Jeez, where could he be...? I've been searching for two years and I finally followed his roaming patterns here..." said the blonde, sniffing and rubbing her eyes. "I'm so worried."

"Are...you goddamn...serious...?" said Yamada, his teeth grinding sparks.

"Nakano-san...why...?"

"Nanako-san! Nanako-san, we have him!" A voice came from further out into the darkness. Two men appeared, dragging a large bear in between them.

"H-Hitori!?"

"W-Who are they!?" said Yamada and Haru.

"Private detectives. I've had them searching for Hitori," said Nanako, rushing over to the bear. "Oh Hitori, it's you, isn't it?"

"N-Nanako...why are you..."

"You idiot. I told you when we got married, didn't I? I love you and I'll always accept you, no matter what you become."

"N-Nanako. You'd...love a bear like me...?"

"Yes! I love you, Hitori!"

Nanako tried to kiss the bear, but seemed to be unsure about where to put her lips. Finally, she settled for sticking her head inside the bear head's mouth section.

"Oh...I missed you so much, Nanako," said the bear in a muffled voice.

"Me too, Hitori. Don't ever leave me again," said Nanako, her voice equally muffled.

"I won't."

_Smooch, smooch, smooch._

Haru and Yamada looked at each other, their mouths agape in disbelief.

"Nanako-san. We also found this person with the bear," said one of the detectives. "Is she...your daughter?"

They pulled up a limp girl in a Bonyari High School uniform, with dark hair tied up to one side with a scrunchie.

"..."

"..."

Haru and Yamada buried their faces into their palms.

"N-No...I've never seen this girl in my life. I don't mean to sound insulting, but I would think my daughter would be less...manly-looking."

"Detectives. I'm ashamed to say this, but that person's with us," said Yamada, unable to look them in the eye. The detectives dropped the girl next to Haru by the fire.

"Haru-chan..." said the girl weakly. "I...understand you so much now..."

"...I see. T...Thank you, Satou-san," said Haru, using all of her willpower to force a smile onto her face.

And so, the night came to Christmas morning.

* * *

"Well, we're here. Welcome back home, Onodera."

After Nakano Hitori had been found by his wife, Nakano Nanako, the two had decided to settle down in a different prefecture, where Hitori would be the only bear and be able to keep his wife in a safer environment. The two detectives had helped in locating Karuizawa, who had constructed and stayed in a fully furnished cabin, complete with a stone hearth and furniture. According to Karuizawa, he had just followed the directions in the _Black Suit Survival_ _Guide_.

"Satou-san will be alright, won't he?"

"Don't worry, he'll be fine. He's your fan after all, so you can at least trust him on being around," said Yamada. Having hung around with Nakano in the forest, Satou had contracted a tick-borne virus that had given him severe diarrhea. He was now being treated at Bonyari hospital, but seemed to be on his way to making a full recovery.

"By the way, I never asked where he got that uniform from, but it's not yours, is it?" asked Yamada.

"No...that's definitely not mine."

"Good. I'll burn it then."

It was about 6 in the morning. The detectives had given them a ride to a town where they had been able to take a bus back to Bonyari. Unfortunately, they hadn't come back in time to attend any of the events that the black suits had prepared for Christmas.

"Well, I still have my reservation at the hotel, so I'll probably crash there and eat some free peanuts or something," said Yamada.

"I'm sorry I ruined all of your plans for the evening..."

"Onodera. Don't worry about it," said Yamada, patting her on the head. "It was a crazy night, but I hope you had a good time anyways."

"I did. Thank you, Yamada-san."

"Heh. You aren't so bad, Onodera," said Yamada. "Well, I don't think anyone in your family is expected back yet, but you're probably tired. See you around."

Yamada smiled at her before heading back towards the rental car. Haru stood in front of her house. Yes...she was tired. Anyone would've forgiven her for just walking in and going straight to bed.

But...

Haru felt light. She felt clean and new. Taking a deep breath, she found that none of the clinging weight seemed to be there in her heart anymore.

"Yamada-san!"

Yamada had just reached the car door. He turned and saw Haru running towards him.

"What is it, Onodera? I've got the gas running and prices are sky-high-"

"Can I borrow your phone?"

"Huh? Why?"

"Please, just let me borrow it!"

Yamada reluctantly gave her his cellphone. She flipped it open and began pressing a few buttons.

"Yamada-san. You were right. We've put a curse on ourselves," said Haru. "But you don't want to keep going on like that, do you? I know I don't..."

"What are you talking about, Onoder-"

"So...let's help each other move forward," said Haru, handing him back his phone. The dialtone rang as a call started to connect.

"W-What...Onodera! What have you do-"

_Click._

"Hello? Who is this?"

The caller ID said "The Boss."

"B-Boss!"

"Hm? #10? Well, this is rare. You don't call often."

"T-That's...uhm...about that-"

"What is it, #10?"

Yamada's mouth opened and closed. He looked pleadingly at Haru, but she simply mouthed encouragement. He sighed and held the phone tightly to his ear.

"B-Boss. I'm uh...not calling for business. This is Yamada talking."

"Ok. What is it, Yamada?"

Yamada clenched his eyes shut, like he was lifting something extremely heavy.

"Uh...look. I know I should probably be taking this slow, like asking you for a coffee or something. But...well, I'm not good at that kind of stuff. So, I'll just be straight with you."

Yamada took another breath. When his eyes opened, he remembered the dirt-streaked face and shining eyes of a certain girl from his childhood.

"-. I love you. I've loved you since back when we were kids."

Karuizawa popped out of the backseat. He met Haru's eyes and started laughing silently. Yamada's face was so scrunched up with nerves that he looked like he was about to explode.

"Ok. So?"

Yamada's face went blank as the phone answered him.

"Um...so...uh...I...want to be in a romantic relationship with you. And...maybe spend Christmas together."

"Ok. Come over."

"Huh!?"

"What? I said come over. I don't have anything planned today."

"W-Wait," said Yamada, panicking. Haru and Karuizawa shared concerned looks. "Are...Are you serious? You're fine with this?"

"Yamada. You just woke me up at 6 in the morning to confess your love to me. Get down here with breakfast or I'll break your neck."

"Y-Yes, Boss."

"I'm going back to sleep. Ring the bell when you're here."

_Click._

"Yamada-san?"

"Dude, how'd it go?" said Karuizawa from the backseat.

Yamada pocketed his phone without a word. He took another deep breath, then got into the car.

"Onodera. Let me see your phone."

"Yamada-san, what happene-"

"_Your phone, Onodera._"

Haru handed her phone over, a mixture of confusion and worry in her expression.

"Onodera. You can't expect everything to go the way you want it to. That's a part of living," said Yamada, tapping buttons on her phone. Haru's face fell a little. So things hadn't gone well with the Boss, huh...?

"But...even if moving forward might be more painful, at least you'll get to somewhere new. And maybe that's what people like us really need," said Yamada, handing over her phone. It was making a call to Ichijou Raku.

"Yamada-san..."

"Good luck, Onodera. If you need someone to talk to, I added our numbers to your contact list," said Yamada, winking.

"Good luck, Haru!"

Karuizawa waved from the backseat as they drove off. Haru watched them leave, feeling a bit stronger than she had the day before.

_Click._

"Haru-chan? What is it? You're calling pretty early..."

Haru looked down at her phone. The voice was unmistakable. The feeling in her heart was undeniable.

"Ichijou-senpai..."

But this time, she could face it with a smile on her face.

"I have something to tell you."

* * *

**Bonus Arc**

**Haru's Christmas**

**END**


	24. Bonus Chapter - Chitoge and Kosaki

**Bonus Chapter**

**Chitoge and Kosaki  
**

* * *

"Kosaki-chan!"

Onodera Kosaki turned around at the sound of her name. The blonde hair was a bit longer, but that familiar red ribbon still coaxed a small smile from her lips.

"Chitoge-chan."

"Sorry!" said Kirisaki Chitoge, clapping her hands together in apology. "Something came up at work, so I had to stay a little later than I thought."

"It's ok, Chitoge-chan. I understand how important your job is to you," said Kosaki.

"Well, my mom's just overworking me again," said Chitoge with a strained smile. "I don't know how that beansprout did it back in high school..."

Kosaki laughed. That's right, Raku had worked for Chitoge's mom back in their first-year. And then there had been that misunderstanding with the hotel after. It was really nostalgic.

"Well, I'm here now. Shall we get going?" said Chitoge. Kosaki nodded and they set off together. Today was an important day for Onodera Kosaki.

Back in high school, this sort of outing had been frequent. During those carefree days where everyday had been filled with fun, sometimes ridiculous, antics. But those years were over now. Everyone had grown up and started taking their own paths.

"How's university going, Kosaki-chan?"

"Not bad. I'm a little worried about my grades now that Ruri-chan isn't here to help anymore..." said Kosaki with a nervous smile.

After graduation, Kosaki had decided to go to a local university to explore her options. Not that she didn't want to take over the family business, but she also didn't feel like rushing into it. To be honest, she had never really thought about her future. Her grades were not very good, but she did seem to have some artistic talent.

"I'm really enjoying the club I'm in. The seniors have really helped me learn a lot."

"Ehh...that otaku club?" said Chitoge.

"Come on...don't be like that, Chitoge-chan," said Kosaki, nudging Chitoge's shoulder.

"I know, I know. They're not that weird. But...I mean..." said Chitoge, scratching her head. Kosaki laughed a little. She understood. She hadn't really known much about that sort of culture, so even Kosaki had been a little bit thrown off when she had first met the club members. But they were all nice people, even if they could be very _passionate_ about their interests. And she hadn't fully grasped all the lingo that was being thrown around during meetings yet either.

"Well, as long as you're having fun..."

"Actually, I started making PVC figures recently," said Kosaki, pulling out her phone. "See? I hope you don't mind that I used you as a model though..."

"Wow! That's amazing," said Chitoge. Although it wasn't yet colored, the figure in the photos looked just like a miniature Chitoge. The slender line of her figure, the clarity and glow of her skin. Even the flow of her blonde hair seemed to have been perfectly replicated. The attention to detail was incredible. "It looks so much like me. Like...I'm kind of getting creeped out by it now..."

"Ahaha..."

In the end, Kosaki felt like she still wanted to take over the family business. But going to university and meeting new people, taking in all of these different experiences...it wasn't something that she regretted. They were important moments in her life now and what she had experienced would stay with her for the rest of her life.

"Chitoge-chan, do you know what a _tsundere_ is?"

"Huh? What's that?"

"It's like...hot and cold? I think..."

"...What are you talking about?"

"...Nevermind." Ok, maybe some things were still slipping out of her grasp.

They continued chatting as they walked through the streets. It had been quite a while since they had last met because of their schedules. Although everyone still kept in contact with each other, none of them were able to see each other daily like they had in high school.

"How's Ruri-chan doing?" asked Chitoge.

"Good. We just talked on voice chat last night. It seems like she's doing well in her studies over there."

"What about Maiko-kun? Has anything changed between them?" said Chitoge with a teasing grin.

"Ah, about that! It seems Maiko-kun was caught in a girls' locker room..."

"What!? That scummy dirtbag! What does he think he's doing!?"

"Maiko-kun said Ruri-chan threw him in there accidentally during one of their fights," said Kosaki.

"Ah...I can see that happening, " said Chitoge, laughing. "But it seems like they're getting along better."

"Yeah. Ruri-chan is denying it, but..." said Kosaki, her eyes shifting with a knowing glint. "How's Tsugumi-chan?"

"I'm not sure. She and Paula left the country last week and according to Claude, they're not really in a place where they can make outside contact," said Chitoge, sighing. "Well, I'm not really worried, but I hope she makes it back before Christmas..."

"Eh...so she's still doing those 'deliveries?'"

"Yeah. Claude said they're 'special Beehive deliveries.' In any case, Tsugumi's really dedicated to getting them done," said Chitoge. "It's kind of weird actually. I wonder why we can't just mail those deliveries out."

"Huh. Yeah, I wonder why...?"

They chatted about Yui and Haru for a bit afterwards. Yui was continuing to teach at Bonyari High School and Haru had just recently been accepted to the same university that Kosaki was attending. Kosaki was happy that she would be going to school again with Haru, but she was also a little worried about her sister. Since last Christmas, Haru had been occasionally chatting with some suspicious-looking people in black suits...

"Eh...? That sounds so fishy. Is Haru-chan ok?"

"It doesn't seem like they're bad people. And it seems like one of them is friends with mom's friend. But it's just kind of..."

"Hmm...we could stake them out. I could ask Tsugumi to help when she comes back."

"Doesn't that seem a little excessive...?"

"It's Haru-chan, Kosaki! She's all grown-up now, but you know she went to an all-girl's school. She doesn't know enough about how dangerous guys can be!"

"Well, I'll try talking to her about it first...it might be nothing after all..."

The two walked in silence for a bit after that. Kosaki wasn't exactly sure how to go onto the next topic. They had caught up on everyone else except...

"So...about Marika-chan..." started Kosaki.

"Don't," said Chitoge, averting her eyes.

"You went up to the mountains to visit her, right? How is she?"

"...Not well," said Chitoge, still looking away.

"Then is she..."

"Yeah. I can't believe I'm saying this, but things have gotten really bad..."

"You mean-"

"Yep. Marika's gone completely cuckoo," said Chitoge, sighing. "She's holed up in her room with a bunch of telephones and paperwork. She's serious about making that exception for polygamy in Japanese law..."

"Ahaha...that's Marika-chan for you..."

"Seriously, I can't believe she still hasn't given up on that," said Chitoge, stretching her hands over her head.

"She's amazing in her own way..."

"I guess. Well, we chatted a bit in the mountains, but you know we don't really get along..."

"Really? I think Marika really treasures you, Chitoge-chan."

"T-That's...maybe..." said Chitoge, her face turning red. "Not that I care either way."

Kosaki covered her laugh with her hand. Hot and cold. It really was like that.

"So, are we getting close?" asked Chitoge a few minutes later.

"Yeah, we're almost there."

The sun was starting its gentle slope into the horizon. Blue and purple shadows were scattered on the walls across vines dyed orange by the light. As the two girls took a turn and went down some stairs, Chitoge saw a glimmer in the distance.

"Wow!"

The beams of the setting sun shot into the sky, painting the clouds with creamy pastels. The Bonyari that was in front of her was like a piece of art.

"This place is amazing, Kosaki-chan," said Chitoge, running over to the rails. "You can see so much of the city."

"You're saying the same things as Ichijou-kun," said Kosaki, smiling.

"You brought Raku here?"

"Yeah. A long time ago, back in high school. It was my secret place, so I wanted to show it to him," said Kosaki.

"Heeh. Were you going to confess to him here?" said Chitoge, leaning against the rails.

"I...was thinking about it. But I couldn't really do it back then," said Kosaki, resting her head on the railing next to Chitoge. "But I was still glad that I showed him this place. Sometimes, we'd meet here by coincidence and it was really special because it was just us two here..."

"I get it. It was kind of like our fake dating," said Chitoge, looking out at the city. "Just a secret between us."

The two of them watched the slowly dipping sun in silence. A lot of memories existed between them. And to be honest, it had all been because of one boy.

"Have you heard from Raku lately?"

"Not really. It seems he's studying hard for the civil servant exams."

"Honestly, that beansprout. Once he puts his mind to something..."

"Yeah," said Kosaki with a small laugh. "But that's what's good about him."

"I guess so. I still haven't met anyone like that idiot," said Chitoge.

"Our first love..."

"But not our only love, right?" said Chitoge, looking over at Kosaki.

"Yeah," said Kosaki, her pinky touching Chitoge's. Chitoge's hand moved over her fingers and lightly squeezed.

"The weather's starting to get chilly, huh?" said Kosaki.

"You think? It still feels warm to me," said Chitoge, moving slightly next to her. Their shoulders and arms touched.

"Chitoge..." Kosaki's eyes slowly drifted to Chitoge's, mild brown melting into sparkling blue.

"Yeah?" She leaned in closer. A small strand of blonde hair brushed against Kosaki's neck.

"I love you," she said softly, eyes closing.

"Me too."

A small, light touch. Heat billowing from their lips, their breaths caressing each other's cheek. Kosaki opened her eyes and the two of them glanced down shyly. They turned back to the sunset view, their bodies leaning against each other.

"Let's come here again," said Kosaki. "With everyone else too."

"That'd be nice," said Chitoge. She pulled a little at Kosaki's sleeve. "But just us two sometimes..."

"Yeah. Just us two."

A cool breeze tickled their faces. Small flecks of dust rose into the air, a warm, golden aura swirling around them. Kosaki turned her face again.

It was hot and cold, the sweet taste of youth.

* * *

**A/N: **_Bit of a breather chapter for me. I'm not sure why, but I just had this urge to do Chitodera. The next one will wrap up the Haru arc. And how about that new Nisekoi chapter? I highly doubt that there'll be as much progression as some people are thinking (The anime's second season is coming out soon! That means time to milk the money!), but it doesn't change the fact that Komi got in a critical hit this week! _

**_Some thoughts ahead (potential spoilers for Nisekoi and other Jump manga) TL;DR below.  
_**

_As I've said before, the main reason that I believe Kosaki has such an overwhelming advantage over the other characters for Raku's affection is because she's the only one that Raku is actively viewing as a love interest. A lot of people see Chitoge as the true route because she was essentially the "first girl" (being the main female protagonist in the oneshot and technically in the current series). Because Chitoge's feelings have changed the most in the series, it also seems like she's getting more attention in the development portion. However, the new Nisekoi chapter has Tsugumi step forward a bit with her own feelings, so props to Komi for that. But just as Tsugumi can't really be a contender comparable to the Kosaki/Chitoge tiers until she actually accepts her feelings, Chitoge can't reach the Kosaki tier until she gets Raku's attention. _

_Looking back at some other Jump romcoms, To-Love-ru is the most similar to Nisekoi in terms of tone and character archetypes (albeit, more fanservicey). Like Chitoge, Lala was the first girl while Haruna was the Kosaki of the series. But Rito's feelings became divided over Lala and Haruna by the end because Lala had already confessed to Rito early on in the series. She made Rito aware of her feelings for him, which in turn actually gave her a chance to be a potential love interest._

_In the end, the male protagonist needs to see the female character in a romantic light to even start going down any sort of successful relationship path. From the female side, this requires her to make the male protagonist aware of her feelings. Otherwise, with so many girls around him, the dense male MC archetype will just view her as a friend.  
_

_Kosaki is truly seeded while Chitoge is pseudo-seeded because of her role in the plot. But because Kosaki is a true seed, she has an advantage if she actively tries to pursue Raku, as she has been trying to do since her declaration during Yui's confession. The new developments in Nisekoi may bring Chitoge up to speed with Kosaki, however. Right now, the fake relationship is an obstacle for Chitoge. It prevents her feelings from being seen by Raku as anything more than a ruse. If the fake relationship ends, then Raku will be able to see Chitoge's feelings more clearly and become more conscious of them. But it's only when this happens that Chitoge will be on-par with Kosaki-tier in terms of romance. _

_**TL;DR** Until Chitoge finishes playing catch-up with Kosaki, she offers no real competition. In the new chapter, Komi has potentially created a setup for Chitoge to finally reach the starting line (or, just troll again with a reset)._


	25. Bonus Chapter - Nanakorobi Yaoki

**Bonus Chapter**

**Seven Times Down, Eight Times Up**

* * *

"Tachibana..."

Tachibana Marika turned at the sound of her name, being uttered by those sweet lips-

"Yes, Raku-sama! Is there something that you wish of-WAUGH!"

It was a horrible sight. Ichijou Raku looked as if he had aged twenty years. He leaned against the window in the school hallway, his already pale skin looking even worse against the bright sunlight.

"I...can't do it anymore..."

"Raku-sama!" said Marika, rushing over to his side. "What has happened to you!"

"Tachibana...no, Mari. Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Of course, Raku-sama! Anything you need," said Marika, cradling Raku's head against her chest.

"Just for today...could you..."

* * *

"And so, that's how it is," said Marika, standing in the home economics room with her arms folded. "I will be taking over for Raku-sama today."

In front of her, Kirisaki Chitoge and Onodera Kosaki looked down at the floor sheepishly.

"I-It wasn't that bad this time, right Kosaki-chan?" said Chitoge.

"Y-Yeah..." said Kosaki, although her wobbly smile didn't hold any confidence.

"Honestly, Raku-sama is too kind. To think that he was secretly trying to teach the two of you how to cook..." muttered Marika under her breath.

"L-Like I said, we're sorry!" said Chitoge. "But it's not like we forced him to help..."

"I'm sure you're quite aware by now of the kind of person Raku-sama is," said Marika, walking over to the counter. There stood the two failed creations that had just forced Raku to go to the infirmary.

"So this is Kirisaki-san's?" said Marika, looking at a pot of bubbling black liquid.

"Yeah! We were trying to make curry toda-"

Marika swept the pot onto the floor, coughing what sounded suspiciously like "garbage" into her hand.

"HEY! What are you doing!" said Chitoge.

"Oh...this is Onodera-san's, then?" said Marika, looking at the next dish. It certainly looked like a curry of impeccable quality. The gravy was smooth with just the right amount of thickness. The rice underneath had soft, white grains, like angel feathers. Even the toppings of meat, carrot, potatoes, and onions were cut into just the right size, each coated until glossy by the gravy.

"Well, we know how this really tastes though," said Marika, tossing the dish.

"That was too cruel, Marika!" said Chitoge. Kosaki smiled understandingly, but there were still tears creeping from the corners of her eyes.

"Cruel, you say?" said Marika, her eyes flashing as she whipped around. "I should be the one saying that to you! Forcing Raku-sama into that state with this toxic trash!"

Both Kosaki and Chitoge recoiled, stabbed through the chest by her words.

"Honestly, you two became far too carried away," said Marika with a sigh. Behind her, Honda passed through like a ghost, clearing the spilled curries in the blink of an eye.

The two girls didn't respond. It was true after all. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that their homecooked meals were veritable weapons of destruction. They had known fully well that there was no way that eating their food could be good for Raku.

But...he always tried every one of their dishes without a complaint. He forced it down, even if the taste was enough to make both Chitoge and Kosaki cringe and roll all over the floor. And then he would say smile at them and encourage them to keep working at it.

It was a cheat. It was unfair. How were they supposed to stop giving food to someone like him? Everytime they had regrets, everytime they had second thoughts, that idiot would make their hearts flutter again and there'd be that delicious warmth spreading through their body.

But now that idiot had nearly forced himself into a literal food coma.

_D-Damn it...this is all your fault, beansprout!_

_I'm sorry, Ichijou-kun...I'm a sinful girl..._

Grey clouds were hanging over their heads. Marika clicked her tongue. Well, it wasn't like she didn't understand.

"In any case, this was a special request from Raku-sama. I will make sure to put all my effort into it."

"We're in your care," said Chitoge, a bit reluctantly. Kosaki repeated the same.

"Very well. Let us start with something very basic," said Marika, motioning with her finger. Ingredients overflowed from the bags that Honda placed on the counter.

"An omelette."

* * *

Several minutes later, the girls were dressed in aprons and had their bangs held back with kerchief hats. Marika paced in front of them like an army sergeant.

"At its most basic form, the omelette is just an egg. By minimizing the ingredients, even someone like you should be able to get it, Kirisaki-san."

"Ah, is that right...?" said Chitoge, her eye twitching.

"The important parts are thorough beating, to properly spread the yolk's color, and gentle heating, to keep the egg's fluffy texture," said Marika, lighting a gas stove. She placed a non-stick pan on top and rubbed some vegetable oil onto the surface. With clean movements, she cracked two eggs into a bowl with some salt and then began beating them with chopsticks. Once the eggs had homogenized into a light yellow color, Marika used her chopsticks to drip a small bit of egg onto the pan, to test the heat.

"To minimize burning, you must keep the egg moving," said Marika, pouring the eggs gently into the pan. Light sizzling sounds were made as Marika agitated the eggs with her chopsticks, allowing uncooked egg to seep in under the soft folds. "Once the eggs have just started to set, you fold it over like so-"

With a light flick of her wrist, the egg folded back on itself, its edges aligning perfectly. She slid the omelette onto a plate, its surface a spotless, even yellow that looked like tender foam.

"Enjoy," said Marika lightly. Chitoge and Kosaki reached over with their chopsticks to taste it.

"Ghk!" said Chitoge, hand over her mouth. She couldn't accept it! To think that someone like Marika...someone like Marika could make something so fluffy and soft, the subtle flavor of the yolk brought out by the light salt-

"It's delicious!" said Kosaki, chewing.

"Well, I don't expect perfect results on the first attempt. But as long as you keep the heat low, we shouldn't see anything disastrous," said Marika. "Are you two ready to try?"

Honda set the two up with their own gas stoves. Chitoge turned hers on, blasting the air with a roaring flame.

"LOW HEAT!" shouted Marika.

"It is low," said Chitoge, her bangs starting to singe from the heat billowing from the stove. Marika rushed over and twisted the knob.

"Now place a little vegetable oil into the pan, just enough to coat the surface-"

"Like this?" said Chitoge, her pan filling with enough oil to deep fry.

"Ahaha...Kirisaki-san. You must be doing this on purpose~"

"Huh?"

Marika had Chitoge dump the oil back and use a small sponge dipped in oil instead.

"Now, crack the eggs into a bowl. Kirisaki-san, please do not just smash it against the bowl."

"I know how to crack an egg!" said Chitoge, remembering back to when she and Tsugumi had tried making fried eggs. First, a light tap against a flat surface to prevent pieces of shell from getting into the egg. Then, take both ends lightly and pull the ends like they're on a hinge-

A clean egg slid into the bowl.

"Yes!" said Chitoge to herself. Marika glanced over with a small bit of surprise.

"I suppose there are miracles," said Marika with a teasing smile. Chitoge pouted, but cracked her second egg in just as seamlessly. She took her chopsticks and broke up the yolk.

"How are you doing, Onodera-san?"

"Mm. I've got the eggs mixed," said Kosaki, showing an almost radiant mixture of eggs. Marika was a bit taken aback. What sort of magic was this?

"Well...the taste seems fine..." said Marika, licking a bit of egg to make sure that nothing fishy was happening under the surface.

""So, I can put it in the pan now, right?" said Chitoge.

"First check that your pan is not too hot. Just drip a little egg onto-"

Marika blinked. She brought her hands up and rubbed her eyes.

Huh? Huuuh?

"Kirisaki-san...what is that?"

"Eggs...?"

"...Those are definitely not eggs," said Marika. Yes, they had the yellow color of beaten eggs. It was definitely mixed well, having become a homogenous mixture.

But it was thick. The bit on Chitoge's chopsticks drizzled back into the bowl in delicate folds.

"What are you talking about? These are eggs."

"Tha's a damn custard, ya idiot!" said Marika.

"D-Don't mess with me! I just beat the eggs like you told me to!"

"That ain't possible! Yer lyin'!" said Marika, stomping over. "Mix it agin!"

Chitoge cracked another two eggs into a new bowl and added a pinch of salt. Then she took her chopsticks and began beating them.

With. Insane. Speed.

Marika realized what had happened as she watched the whirlwind in front of her. The high speed of Chitoge's mixing technique must have created enough friction to just cook the eggs till they thickened. The violent action of her mixing also tore the yolk's fat particles apart, distributing them evenly into the whites, creating a smooth texture.

What an absurd technique...

"I'm impressed, Kirisaki-san," said Marika, patting her on the shoulder. "I will acknowledge your skill with the title 'Custard Gorilla.'"

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

A few minutes later, Chitoge finished her omelette and plopped it onto a plate. It contracted on contact with the cold plate, as if deflating. In contrast, Kosaki's omelette was glowing pristinely on its plate.

"Very well, Kirisaki-san first~"

"Get it over with..."

Marika sliced a small piece with her chopsticks and tasted it.

"Mmm...well, it's not burned. But it's dry from cooking too long. And the texture is rubbery."

Chitoge wilted at the comments. She had expected it, but it still hurt to see her hard work evaluated like this. Marika patted her mouth with a napkin.

"But I suppose it's a start..." said Marika. Chitoge scowled in a self-conscious manner.

"As for Onodera-san, the visual is perfect as usual," said Marika. "The texture has just the right firmness..."

She popped the egg into her mouth. Then, keeled over on the spot.

"M-Marika!?"

"Marika-chan!?"

"Ojousama!"

It took a few minutes for Marika to recover. Honda gave her a glass of water and some medicine.

_Just how can Raku-sama endure that kind of taste each and every time?_ thought Marika, panting as if she'd ran a marathon. She had thought that Chitoge was bad enough, but Onodera Kosaki was in a league of her own. How could she possibly get that kind of flavor when her end result looked so appetizing!?

"Onodera-san, please show me how you cooked this...omelette."

"Ah...ok..."

Marika watched carefully as Kosaki redid her omelette. Perhaps it was because of her family business, but Kosaki's mechanical skill was quite polished. She cracked eggs quickly and beat them just the right amount with her chopsticks. She added a small amount of salt and then tasted the egg. So far, so good. It was all very basic procedure. But then again, Marika hadn't expected there to be a problem here. She had only supplied these two with eggs for now; yet that flavor couldn't possibly come from a normal egg.

It had to be the cooking process. A twisted Maillard reaction or something!

Kosaki poured the eggs into her pan and handled them softly with a rubber spatula. It was like watching a mother rocking her baby to sleep. Marika felt like she was watching something extremely personal.

_I never looked too closely at her, but maybe this gurl gun be a big problem..._

And then, it was done. Kosaki slid the egg perfectly into the center of her plate.

"How was it, Marika-chan?" said Kosaki hopefully.

"P-Perfect..." said Marika, stunned. In fact, with the way the egg was shining, it seemed as if Kosaki was at a higher level! Had the previous attempt just been a fluke? Perhaps doing it a second time had refined her technique.

Marika took a bite of Kosaki's egg. Then, flew into the wall, spinning like a tornado.

"GYAAHHH! WAZ DIS AWFUL TASTE!" shouted Marika, rolling in agony on the floor.

"Ojousama!"

But it seemed that the previous tasting had helped her build a tolerance. Marika rose shakily from the floor, face strained with effort.

"Marika-chan! Are you ok?" said Kosaki, rushing over.

"Onodera-san...you cooked your eggs perfectly..." said Marika, straining to say each word. Even after swallowing a glass of water, the taste was still clinging to her tongue. "I saw every single step you did! So I don't understand where this taste comes from..."

Marika wobbled back over to Kosaki's eggs. It looked so tasty. So innocent.

But it was a dangerous beast. A vile poison. Something like this could start World War III.

Marika held the plate up to her eyes.

_It's so perfect...completely flawless, _thought Marika, turning the plate so she could see every side of the eggs. _It looks unreal...how perfect it is...almost as if every bit of the egg's existence was forced into its physical characteristics...perhaps even the taste..._

No, no, that sort of thing was impossible. There had to be some other fundamental reason here.

"Ojousama, please leave all other tastings to me," said Honda. "I'm worried for your health if this continues..."

"Ah...yes, please do so, Honda," said Marika. She looked over at Chitoge and Kosaki, who were staring at the ground again.

"Well, let's start again."

* * *

Thirty-two omelettes later, they ran out of eggs.

"More than anything, today has made me appreciate you more, Honda," said Marika. Honda had dutifully tasted each omelette and given a score out of 10 with no change in expression. None of the omelettes had scored anything higher than a 3.

"Thank you, Ojousama," said Honda, wiping the blood that had been trickling from her mouth.

"I suppose that's all we can do today," said Marika, brushing her skirt down. "I will go check on Raku-sama before heading home."

"Hold on, why do you have to go check on hi-"

"Kirisaki-san. Cooking isn't just making delicious food. What distinguishes a good cook is how well she can clean up after herself also," said Marika with a devilish grin. There were dozens of dishes piled into the sink.

"Why you!"

"I brought those plates from home, so please make sure they are all spotless," said Marika, skipping out of the room with a little "tehee." Chitoge raised a fist at the door, but relented. Well, they did make the mess after all...

"Let's clean up, Chitoge-chan."

"Yeah..." said Chitoge, heading over to the sink and squirting some soap on a sponge. "But that girl really irritates me..."

"Hehe...well, Marika-chan is Marika-chan."

"I guess..." said Chitoge. The sink began to fill with suds as Chitoge soaped the dishes and Kosaki rinsed.

"But it was nice of Marika-chan to help us today...I feel like I learned a lot with her teaching us," said Kosaki.

"Yeah, but she's probably just doing it because of _Darl-_ I mean Raku," said Chitoge, reflexively using his petname.

"You are wrong about that, Kirisaki-sama."

Honda interrupted their conversation casually as she began stacking the plates and putting them into a bag.

"Eh...? What do you mean, Honda-san?" said Chitoge, confused.

"It seems that I have crossed my boundaries somewhat," said Honda, bowing her head. "Please forget that I mentioned it."

"There's no way I can do that, is there?" said Chitoge. Honda smiled slightly.

"It is true that much of Ojousama's actions are derived from her feelings for the Ichijou boy," said Honda, stacking the last of the plates. "And perhaps for her old self, that would be all."

_Ojousama. Dinner is prepared._

_...Say, Honda. What do you think of my hair?_

_...I am not sure if I understand. You are very beautiful, Ojousama._

_It's still quite short, isn't it...?_

_No, I would say it is now on the longer side._

_I see. Tell Father that I'll come to eat soon._

"Ever since their parting, the only thing in Ojousama's mind has been the Ichijou boy," continued Honda. "She worked hard to improve herself for his sake, for the sake of their reunion. But..."

_Marika stared at the mirror. Long hair that was almost to her shoulders now. A smooth, delicate face. Her posture was straight and her lashes were long. The clothing that she wore, the words that came from her mouth, they were all as she imagined. Like a princess. Like an elegant woman. A girly girl._

_A young girl's face appeared in the mirror. Short hair, short as a boy's. Sick and frail. Rough and tough._

_She could still see herself. Still see Mari inside her. But soon, Mari would be gone. The transformation was progressing more and more everyday. Soon, she would be Tachibana Marika, the woman that would meet Ichijou Raku again, the woman that would win his heart._

**If his heart was still waiting for her.**

**If he still remembered her-**

**Still remembered their promise-**

_Marika smiled bitterly into the mirror. What an expression. It was an adult's expression, masking the pain inside. Mari could never do an expression like this. Mari could never hide the insecurities, the doubts, the loneliness._

_But Marika could. Marika could do everything that Mari hadn't been able to._

_She could be cunning. She could be sweet. She could be whatever she had to be._

_Yes..._

_I can be anything for Raku-sama..._

_Her hand touched the mirror, reaching out for the little Mari's face._

**Don't worry.**

**I'll take care of everything.**

_But Mari didn't smile. She looked lonelier than ever. She started to fade, as if she had never been there at all._

"There were hard times. On one hand, it was all because of the Ichijou boy. But on the other hand, it was only because of the Ichijou boy. Only because of him that Ojousama was able to reach the point she wanted to reach without falling into despair."

Kosaki and Chitoge looked at each other. They had never really talked much about Marika. Other than the undeniable fact that she loved Raku aggressively, they didn't really know much about her at all.

"Right now, Ojousama is still deeply in love with the Ichijou boy. And now that all of you have confessed, perhaps the Ichijou boy will take her feelings more seriously," said Honda. Chitoge felt a slight pang at that. Even though she was annoying, even though she was always in the way, Marika really did love Raku. Chitoge couldn't deny that. Chitoge knew how Marika felt, how real love felt. She didn't know if she could be like Marika, continuing to charge forward even as her feelings were constantly trivialized and rebuffed. Looking at Kosaki, it seemed that she was having similar thoughts.

"But even if he doesn't end up answering to her feelings, I believe that she will be fine," said Honda.

"Even though she loves him so much?" said Chitoge.

"Yes," said Honda, smiling. "Because she has people like Onodera-sama and Kirisaki-sama at her side now."

Pure shock. They were struck speechless by this casual remark. Chitoge looked away, biting her lip.

Marika loved Raku. She always told Raku that she loved him. She had been putting her all into having Raku look at her, not just as a classmate, not just as a friend, but as a woman.

Although Marika hung out with the other girls, they were different. Different because none of them loved Raku openly. All of them had wanted Raku to look at them, but in a slightly different way. Hidden, veiled by the secret. The secret feelings that they had held close to their chest. Perhaps the reason Marika had annoyed Chitoge so much was that she could do what Chitoge had never been able to.

"We're different..." said Chitoge, still looking away.

"Yes. You were classmates at first, then perhaps friends," said Honda. "But now, you are rivals. And perhaps it is just my perspective, but I believe that this allows you to understand each other more than anyone else."

Kosaki wiped her eyes and nodded. Chitoge was trying to hide the emotion flooding onto her face.

"I have observed Ojousama since she was a child," said Honda. "That is why I believe that today was not just for the Ichijou boy's request, but for the sake of opening her heart to others, even if it is just a little."

"Idiot..." said Chitoge, sniffing. "That's why she's so bothersome." Kosaki laughed a little.

"It seems that Ojousama is returning," said Honda, glancing at the door.

"Thanks," said Chitoge, finishing wiping her face with some water from the sink. She looked over at Kosaki. "I guess she did help out today. I'll let her off this time."

"Yeah," said Kosaki.

The door opened and Marika swept in, flowers sprinkling in shining twinkles behind her.

"Ah~ today, Raku-sama was so bold..."

"Is that so?" said Chitoge, winking at Kosaki.

"Hm? Your tone sounds oddly callous..."

"Just your imagination," said Chitoge, hooking her arm into Marika's. Kosaki did the same on her other side.

"Let's walk home together, Marika-chan," said Kosaki.

"E...Eh? Uh...yes, that's fine I suppose..." said Marika, bewildered at their lackluster reaction to her statement. "...Did something happen while I was gone?"

"I guess you could say we broke a few eggs..." said Chitoge.

* * *

**A/N: **_Interrupting the Porno arc again, this time to show Marika a little love! She hasn't gotten much attention lately from both this story and the manga. In many ways, Marika has the seeds of a complex character, but Komi never really does more than hint at it. I just think she's outstanding, always doing things to the extreme. Whether it's her straightforward feelings for Raku or her mask over the devilish cunning side lurking within. _

_In this chapter, I had a bit more Honda interaction, but it's tricky. Honda doesn't get a whole lot of screentime in the series, so I had a harder time reviewing her. I went with vague memories for some decisions (like Ojousama), so it may not be entirely accurate._

_On another note, I remember Moriyama wondering if there could be concept art for some of the original characters in the story. Looks like we will be seeing some! My friend recently drew a piece for the fanfiction, showing off the climatic scene from chapter 16. I believe there's also a drawing of the labcoat girl in the gallery somewhere! You can find the link on my profile page.  
_

_And for the last note, tasting raw egg. Although the fear for salmonella and the like is high in the US for eggs, different regulations and practices for egg production in other countries means that raw eggs aren't considered as highly a threat, to my knowledge. It's why you can have beaten eggs as a dipping sauce for a variety of dishes like sukiyaki._


	26. Bonus Chapter- Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan?

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Let's Have Sex!_

* * *

_How did it come to this!?_

The thoughts of Ichijou Raku and Onodera Kosaki collided. Right now, they were seated in her room, on either side of the small coffee table that was holding their drinks and a plate of snacks.

Or rather, what was this? Not really snacks, this was more like an appetizer! An entire bowl of candied yams!

"Ehehe...it looks so yummy..."

N-NO!

T-That wasn't what she wanted to say! thought Onodera Kosaki as she hastily wiped drool from her mouth. F-Forget the yams! But candied yams...no, forget them! Wasn't there something much more important happening right now!?

"Y-Yeah...Haru-chan made these so they look really good..."

Ichijou Raku clamped his hands over his face. Who cares about the yaaaams!?

Peek.

Their faces turned away hastily, cheeks burning with steam.

"This...this isn't a dream...right?" thought Kosaki.

"This...is for real..." thought Raku.

A few minutes passed as the thought sunk in.

"NOOOOO! H-How...how are we supposed to so suddenly-!"

"What's with this sudden development!? It's true that I was hoping for this to happen someday, but isn't this too soon!?"

Pounding on the ground. Rolling on the ground.

Ichijou Raku looked up from his pounding. Onodera Kosaki turned her head back towards him.

"Uh...what are you doing, Onodera?"

"N-Nothing...what are you doing, Ichijou-kun?"

"N-Nothing..."

"I see..."

_What __**am **__I doing_?

The two of them slumped onto the ground, depressed.

_Get a hold of yourself, Raku! As a man, it's your responsibility to take the lead!_

_D-Don't give up, Kosaki! Ichijou-kun is doing his best, so I have to do my best too!_

"O-Onodera, l-let's just start with hugging first!" said Raku, holding his arms out.

"I-Ichijou-kun, l-let's just start with this!" said Kosaki, holding out a box of condoms.

"..."

"..."

_T-That's right, protection is important, isn't it!?_

_W-Why did I jump to this from the very start!?_

"Y-You're right, Onodera. We're just high school students after all, we can't skip on something important like that-"

"Y-You're right, Ichijou-kun. We're just high school students, we should try hugging first-"

They were back on the floor. Depression again.

_Damn it...I just can't get this right..._

_Uuu...Ichijou-kun must think I'm a lewd girl..._

"A-Anyways...maybe for starters, we should just get on the bed..." suggested Raku.

"Y...Yeah..."

Kosaki timidly accepted. And so the two moved onto her bed.

_Waaah...I'm sitting on Onodera's bed..._

_I-Ichijou-kun is right next to me..._

Even though they weren't touching, they could feel every little movement the other made. That was the special characteristic of the bed, that you could feel the other person's presence, the other person's weight, just as distinctly as if they had gotten right on top of you.

_Wh...What do I do now?_

_I-Ichijou-kun isn't doing anything...Should I do something...?_

But what? How were you supposed to start something like this? As she had thought, maybe the box of condoms-

_NOOO! That's got to be wrong!_

Kosaki's face made a ›‹ and she shook her head back and forth to banish those thoughts.

_C-Crap...Onodera looks so cute!_

Right now, Raku's instincts were urging him forward. Guiding him. Marching him to victory!

_Ichijou Raku. You understand what is going on here, don't you?_

_This may be the most important moment of your life. Don't be stupid and just leave everything to chance! You have to make the right preparations, make calculated moves. Only fools will run into battle blind!_

That was it! Of course! If he didn't know what to do, then he just had to go find out! Was he stupid or something? This was the modern age! The world's knowledge base was right at his fingertips! Raku pulled out his phone and began tapping at the virtual keyboard-

Aha, aha! As he had thought, foreplay was the first thing to do. So he had been on the right track with the hugging! But this was saying that it might be better to ease her in with some small talk...hmm...a bit of aggressiveness to kickstart the mood, huh? There was so much he had to learn...

_Hm? Wait a second...aren't I forgetting something...?_

Raku turned his head to the side. Kosaki was waiting patiently beside him, fiddling with a stray thread on her sheets.

_I'm so sorry, Onoderaaaa!_

Forget it! He had been missing the crucial part. That Onodera Kosaki, the girl that was so important to him, was right in front of him, at this moment! It didn't matter what advice the world had to give him. The important thing was that he focus on this moment, this person, this situation!

"Sorry, Onodera...I was nervous, but I shouldn't have ignored you," said Raku, tossing his phone aside.

"B-But Ruri-chan...I can't do something like that...!"

Onodera Kosaki was now on the phone.

_ONODERAAA!_

"E-Eh!? Ichijou-kun!? S-sorry...I didn't realize you...uhh..."

Kosaki stammered as she hastily hung up the phone.

An awkward silence now hung between them.

"So..."

"So..."

"So...I guess we really should start with hugging, huh? I'm sure you want to take it slow, haha-"

"Ichijou-kun, I'm sorry that I keep making you wait...So let's just get into the lotus position-"

_WHAT THE HELL IS THE LOTUS POSITION!?_

_NOOO, that's not what I wanted to say! R-RURI-CHAN!_

_WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S MEDITATION!_

And so they sat cross-legged, in the lotus position.

"Do you feel better, Onodera?"

"Yeah...I feel really relaxed..."

They sighed contently together. Their eyes opened and their gazes met.

"Ichijou-kun..."

"Onodera..."

Their faces leaned closer. The bed squeaked slightly as their weights shifted.

"Onodera..."

Raku could almost feel the warmth of her breath. His lips puckered up instinctively for the final event-!

"Ichijou-kun..."

"Onodera..."

"Ichijou-kun...I can't...anymore..."

Kosaki reeled back and collapsed.

"O-Onodera!? W-What's wrong!?"

"Ichijou-kun...I can't stretch that far..."

_WHY WERE YOU STRETCHING IN THE FIRST PLACE!? AND WHAT!? ONODERA, YOUR BODY IS THAT STIFF!?_

Suddenly, the box of condoms hit the side of Raku's head.

"Don't forget that you're just high school students~"

There was a little ufufu~ before the door closed itself.

_ONODERA'S MOM!?_

Then the door opened again, slightly, and a small face poked in.

"H-Haru-chan!?"

"Eep!"

Onodera Haru retreated. Ichijou Raku looked at the door, mouth agape, while Onodera Kosaki gasped for breath on the bed.

"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! WE DIDN'T EVEN START YET!"

"W-WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ONEE-CHAN!?"

"YOU'RE ASKING THAT RIGHT NOW!?"

There was silence from the door. Then, after a moment's hesitation, a small voice said-

"...Take me too."

"WHAT!? WHAT WAS THAT!? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, HARU-CHAAAAN!?"

"I-I said that there's more than one condom in that box!" shouted Haru, barging into the room.

"IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CONDOMS, THEN THAT MEANS YOU ALREADY KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON HERE!"

"NO! It's all mine!"

A white-haired loli crashed through Kosaki's window.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME IN THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR!?" shouted both Raku and Haru.

"Hehehe, you thought you could hide it from me, did you little boy? But you can't fool the sharp senses of Beehive's 'White Fang!'"

"What are you talking about!?"

"Don't try and act like you don't know! Now, hand over your lollipop so I can suck it!"

"Wh...WHAT!?"

"I know all about it! If I suck your lollipop and hard candies, then I'll get an unlimited supply of cream!"

"T-THAT'S COMPLETELY WRONG! WHO TOLD YOU THIS LIE!?"

"T-That's wrong, Paula-san! It's not a lollipop, that was just a comparison..."

Haru's body jolted as she realized what she had just said.

"HARU-CHAN!?"

"W-WHAT ARE YOU MAKING ME SAY!?"

"HOW IS THIS MY FAULT!?"

"Ichijou-kun. I think I'm feeling better now. We can try ag...Haru!? Paula-chan!?"

"You just noticed, Onodera!?"

And so, the door was closed again, but this time, two more girls were added into the room.

"I'm not leaving until I get my candy."

"It's not candy! What you've been told is a lie!"

"I-It's not a lie! It was just a misunderstanding..."

Raku and Haru had their faces in their palms. How were they supposed to fix this situation?

"Hmph, it is candy, it's not candy. Fine then! I'll have you know that I'm an expert when it comes to candy. Just show it to me and I'll tell you whether or not it really _is_ candy!"

_IT'S NOT CANDY!_

But, Paula's eyes were shining with anticipation. Neither Raku nor Haru had the heart to say anything more.

"What is she talking about, Ichijou-kun?"

"I-It's nothing..."

"If I recall correctly, it's located inside your pants," said Paula, her hands fumbling with Raku's zipper.

"HEY!"

"Paula-san, NOOO!"

Haru tackled Paula, making her head hit the side of the bed.

"Ow...what is your problem, Onodera Haru!"

Paula cried out while tearfully rubbing the bump on her forehead.

"Y-You can't...you can't have this candy!"

"And why not!? Why shouldn't I have it? All the candy in this world belongs to me!"

"N-No! This is...this is...ONEE-CHAN'S CANDY!"

"Eh?"

"WHAAT!?"

"Y..your sister's candy?"

"T-That's right! Senpai is Onee-chan's boyfriend, so i-it's her candy!" said Haru.

"I...see. Is that how it works...?"

_NO, IT'S NOT!_

Is what Raku wanted to say, but it seemed that this twisted reasoning was working on Paula.

"Very well then. Onodera Haru's sister. Please lick this candy and give me the cream."

_PAAAUUUULLAAAA!_

"E-Eh? Candy? Cream...?"

Question marks were popping around Kosaki's head.

"...Onee-chan. Do you really not understand what's going on...?"

"S-Sorry...I didn't get what you guys were talking about..."

"Could you guys just get out of here!? We were in the middle of something..."

"In the middle of eating candy, huh!?"

"NO!"

"Don't try and trick me! I know you're going to whip that candy out and eat it right when I leave! Well, I'm not going! If it really isn't about the candy, then it's not like you guys can't do it with us in the room, right?"

_THAT'S EXACTLY WHY WE CAN'T DO IT!_

But damn it. It looked like there was no choice but to give it up for today. Raku sighed. There weren't many chances when things were all set up for them like this. Now that they were in their third-year, most of their free time was spent studying for exams.

"Ichijou-kun...it's ok," said Kosaki with an understanding smile.

"Sorry Onodera...I didn't think it'd end up like this."

"It's alright. I know it's hard for you, but you have to do it. Paula-chan is waiting..."

"Huh? What are you talking about, Onodera?"

Kosaki tilted her head.

"I mean...you can **do it,** if you want..."

_WHAAATT!?_

Raku's body felt like it was going to fall apart. How many times had he made such a ridiculous exclamation today!? Was Onodera being serious!? She really wanted to **do it** in front of them!?

"O-Onodera, are you sure about this!? We don't have to do this right now, you know!"

"No, it's fine," said Kosaki, smiling again. "I really want you to **do it.**"

_OOONODERAAA!_

Raku wanted to cry. To think that Onodera would be willing to...even in this situation. She was an angel! Such a kind soul!

_Paula-chan really looks like she wants that candy. Ichijou-kun, I don't know why it's hard for you to give her the candy, but you can do it!_

Kosaki looked at Raku with her fists pumping supportively at him.

_O...Onee-chan..._

Haru's mouth was wide open and refused to close.

_W-When did you become so daring!?_

"Oho...your sister is nicer than I thought, Onodera Haru. I approve of her," said Paula, nodding happily. _No, no, Paula-san, it's not what you think!_

_Onodera said it's fine! In front of all these people! Doesn't that mean she really wants _it_!?_

_Wait a minute, could it be that Onodera is really excited about this!? M-Maybe all that foreplay from before got her like this? Is it my fault!?_

_That means...I have to take responsibility..._

Raku looked over at Haru and Paula. No, no. Even if this was Onodera, to do _it_ in front of her sister and her sister's friend like this...

_I can't do it! This is too much for me! I'm just a high school student!_

But then he looked into Onodera's eyes. She was smiling at him, silently cheering him on.

Damn it! Damn it! If she looked at him like that, how could he refuse!?

"Ok...Onodera. I understand. I'll start right now."

"Yeah. Ok."

"S-Senpai!? Onee-chan!?"

"Ohh!" said Paula, licking her lips in anticipation.

Raku slid closer to Kosaki. He gently put his arm around her and drew her in.

"Eh? Ichijou-kun, what are you-"

"Shh. Just leave it to me, Onodera," said Raku. He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the neck.

"Ah..." Kosaki's eyes slowly closed and a sweet sound brushed Raku's ear.

"N-No way...Onee-chan..." said Haru, steam rising from her overloading brain.

"What are they doing? Where's the candy?" said Paula, although her face was also turning somewhat red. It was something about the atmosphere. The air had changed. The Ichijou boy was moving with purpose now, carefully going over every inch of the older Onodera's body...

_Ah...I see!_

_He hid the candy on her! What a clever hiding spot! I've underestimated you, little boy..._

Yes...no one would think that you'd hide your secret stash of candy on your girlfriend's person. Of course...since if you saw her naked, she'd get pregnant! That meant the candy was safer in there than in any vault, even from your own hands!

Raku tried not to listen to the mumblings come from Haru and Paula. Kosaki had asked for this. She was putting in so much effort to do this...it would be disrespectful...no, it'd be his failure as a man if he got distracted. Raku's hands slipped down to Kosaki's waist, pulling their bodies even closer together.

"Ah! Ichijou-kun..."

Kosaki tried to stifle the lewd sounds coming from her lips. She didn't know why Raku was doing this so suddenly. She wanted him to stop because Haru and Paula were watching. But...his lips felt so good...and she was so close to him...

"Ah...ahaha...that tickles, Ichijou-kun," said Kosaki, as Raku nibbled the crook of her neck. "Mmm..."

His breath was hot against her skin. The small little bites he made were soothed by the soft texture of his tongue.

"Onodera..."

Raku pushed her shoulders gently. She didn't resist and allowed herself to fall back on the bed. Her face was flushed and her eyes were glazed over as he looked down at her.

"Ichijou-kun..."

"Onodera..."

"Ah! Ichijou-kun...don't...not there...!"

"It's fine, Onodera. Don't worry..."

"Ahh...my thighs..."

"Does it feel good, Onodera?" asked Raku as he began cupping her breast.

Wait a minute.

Thighs?

"Ah...your hand is so soft, Ichijou-kun..."

"S-Soft!? What are you..."

Raku twisted around to look at Kosaki's legs.

"PAULA!?"

"Where is that candy...?"

"Eh...? What did you say, Ichijou-kun?"

Raku batted away Paula's hand.

"What are you doing!? Get away from Onodera!"

Raku whispered furiously at Paula, his voice low enough that Kosaki couldn't hear.

"You're taking forever! I'll help you look for the candy!" said Paula in an equally furious whisper.

"What the hell are you talking about!?" whispered back Raku.

"Don't play dumb! Now get back up there! I'll search this side."

"Stop searching!"

"What are you two whispering about!?" said Haru, joining in. "Senpai, stop messing around! How can you leave Onee-chan hanging like that!"

"You too, Haru-chan!?"

"Oh, good timing, Onodera Haru! You take this leg and I'll search this other leg-"

"H-Huh? What...Why do I have to look at Onee-chan's leg...?"

"Haru-chan, don't listen to her!"

"Mmm? Ichijou-kun...why are you focusing so much on my legs?"

Kosaki's voice came from behind Raku, a little giggle included at the end.

"Get out of here, you two!"

"You're taking too long!"

"Turn back around and finish with Onee-chan first, Senpai!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do!?"

Raku slapped away Paula one last time, then turned back to Kosaki.

"Sorry, Onodera. Ok, now let's get back to it..."

"Eh!? There's no way I can do that, Ruri-chan!"

Kosaki was back on the phone.

"Ah...Ichijou-kun. Ichijou-kun, what's wrong!"

"I can't do this anymore..."

Raku hung over the edge of the bed, completely lifeless.

"That's why I said leave it to me," said Paula. She sidled up to Kosaki, grinning.

"Eh? Paula-chan? What are you-"

"Don't worry, Onodera Haru's sister. I'll be gentle," said Paula, stroking Kosaki's shoulder. Kosaki jumped at the touch.

"Uh...wait...Paula-chan, I d-don't...that's not what I'm interested i-"

Paula's hands began fondling Kosaki's breasts.

"KYAH! Ah...don't...!"

"Where is it...it's got to be in here. It's always in here in the movies...huh...these are unexpectedly large..."

Raku and Haru's mouths were wide open.

"P-Paula-san is...is into that kind of thing...!"

"Wrong...that's all wrong, Haru-chan!"

"Muu...these are too big! How can there be such a difference between Onodera Haru and her sister..?"

Haru crashed onto the bed, like she'd been slapped.

"Haru-chan? HARUUUUU-CHANNN!"

"I can't tell! Whatever...I'll just have to inspect them directly!"

"KYAAAHH!"

Something hit Raku on the head. It dropped down onto Haru's nose.

"...A button?"

A button? A BUTTON!? FROM WHEEEREEE!?

A man's instinct. It was that which propelled Raku's head. It twisted it instantly from one side to the other, completely abandoning the little sister for the twins that were completely exposed behind hi

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N:**_ So I've decided to end this fanfiction. It's been a great run, but with season 2 coming up, I think it's a good time to make my departure from the scene for new adventures. Thank you all the readers that have kept up with me so far and I hope you've enjoyed the ride!  
_

_Anyways, I didn't want to just rush through everything for the current arc, so I just skipped to the end! Well, the end wasn't completed yet, but who cares!_

_Now, why this kind of chapter? Well, to be perfectly honest, I have a deep, dark secret. _

_I've always wanted to try writing erotica! Or maybe just a sex scene! Even just extremely obscene fanservice..._

_Yes...sometimes the thought turned to the protagonists of Nisekoi...especially considering that we'll probably never see sexual tension like in I''s with Nisekoi. But it's a romance series too, right!? Doesn't it deserve something like that? Especially Kosaki with all of her blush-worthy dreams...  
_

_I don't think that I can write titillating scenes, so I said to myself that if I ever write a sex scene, I'll just make it awkward! Yeah, the contrast between sweet love and the stagnant air of embarrassing mistakes..._

_Anyways, that's all! Hope you enjoyed **The Plan** and let's meet each other again real soon! But next time, I'll be an erotica author!  
_

* * *

_**PS:** So if we already have Nisemonogatari, then what do we call that crossover? Nisiokoi...?_

**PSS: **_Completed on **April 1st,** 2015.**  
**_


	27. Bonus Chapter - Shu's Suggestion

**Bonus Chapter**

**Shu's Suggestion**

* * *

A normal day at Bonyari High School.

For the remainder of their lunch break, the two best friends, Ichijou Raku and Maiko Shu, had decided to relax on the roof underneath the clear, blue sky. The warmth of the sun was occasionally dispelled by the refreshing passing of a lazy cloud.

In all the chaos of their usual, everyday lives, just being able to be at ease with his friend, quietly sipping some juice while leaning back against the rails, was a welcome change. Whereas a situation like this would be extremely awkward if it had been one of the girls, with Shu, Raku knew that silence was just a mark of how strong their friendship had become. There was no need for useless words between men. This was the kind of quality relationship that all high school boys needed to experience in their adolescence.

"..."

"..."

"Cough."

"..."

Raku sipped at his juice and looked out at Bonyari over his shoulder.

Yeah, peace and quiet. He could get used to this.

"Sooo, Raku. About what happened at the shrine...care to tell me the details?"

"...Why did you have to bring that up now, man?"

"What are you talking about, Raku? We're best friends, aren't we? You know that there's no need for words between guys. I could clearly hear your heart saying that it wants to spill everything to me."

"Isn't that what _your_ heart is saying!?"

"I'll be honest, Raku. It's a little hurtful that everyone else knows about what happened at that shrine, but you haven't told me, your oldest and bestest friend."

"You already know about it, don't you? Since...you know...Onodera and I are..."

"Not dating yet."

Raku slumped against the rails. The truth that he had been avoiding. It was all out in the open now.

Even though they had professed their loves to each other—

Even though their lives had been tied together by a red string of fate—

Ichijou Raku was still...not in a relationship with Onodera Kosaki.

"Right, how did that happen anyways? I thought you found out that your feelings were mutual."

"They are..." said Raku, his face buried into his arms. "But then that stuff with Yui-nee happened...and then Tachibana's wedding..."

And. Then. Somehow.

He had never actually asked Kosaki to be his girlfriend.

"Things are never easy for you, huh Raku?"

"If you can really hear my heart, you'd know that I don't want to talk about this right now."

"On the contrary. I think you'll want to hear me out. Since I have a plan."

"...A plan? You mean a way for me to ask Onodera out...?"

"No, that'll come together on its own. I'm talking about afterwards, Raku."

"Afterwards?"

"When you and Onodera start going out, you're going to face a lot of challenges. Did you think it'd be as easy as just continuing your usual relationship? Everything will change when you two become an official couple."

"What are you saying? Why would anything...change..."

Raku trailed away as he considered Shu's words. Would things change? If he became Kosaki's boyfriend...if they started being lovey-dovey with each other at school...

The fake relationship with Chitoge...would have to end.

And it would be Kosaki at his side everyday instead...

Walking to school together—

Chatting in the classroom, eating lunch together—

Hanging out after school, going on outings to a cafe or the mall—

Maybe even helping out at the Onodera confectionery once in a while...

...

Wait a second.

"What the hell is going to change!?"

"Are you taking this seriously, Raku? Of course things will change. Just think about it for a minute."

Take it more seriously...? Okay, maybe he hadn't gone deep enough. His relationships with everyone else wouldn't change, right? Since Marika was still in love with him, Haru was still Kosaki's little sister, Ruri was still Kosaki's best friend, Tsugumi was still Chitoge's best friend, and Yui-nee was still teaching. And Chitoge...

Of course.

Chitoge.

His relationship with Chitoge would change. Because she and Kosaki would switch places.

Chitoge taking the place of Kosaki...? How would that pan out...?

_Good morning, Beansprout-kun._

_Ahaha...Kosaki, I said you could call me Raku._

_Y-Yeah, but...it's a little embarrassing..._

_Hyuu hyuu, it's getting hot in here!_

_The lovey-dovey pair is at it again first thing in the morning!_

_C-Cut it out, guys! Jeez, we're just greeting each other!_

_Look at you, making excuses. You better be taking care of Kosaki-chan properly, Raku!_

_I-I know that!_

Hmm.

No random punching. No look of disgust. No haggard feeling after pretending all day. No weird mood swings from Chitoge.

Wow.

This was amazing.

Holy crap.

Wasn't this like the best change ever!?

"Do you get it now, Raku? Things won't be the same anymore."

"Yeah...but why's that a bad thing?"

"Just hear me out, okay? Trust me, you're going to need this plan moving on into the future."

Raku still wasn't sure what Shu was getting at, but he decided to give his friend a chance. This wasn't something that he could be half-assed about. Now that he could have a real, serious relationship with Kosaki, he had to man up and really focus on being successful.

"Raku. Once you and Onodera start going out, you guys will have to go on dates and have anniversary celebrations and things like that."

"Yeah, I do that with Chitoge already—"

"But Onodera isn't like Kirisaki. Being all lovey-dovey like that, it takes something that Kirisaki has a lot of."

"Ah...I see."

Money. Chitoge was heir to the Beehives so she didn't have much of a problem with money. So even though Raku took responsibility as a man and emptied his wallet often, he never really had to worry if things didn't work out because Chitoge would be able to handle it.

But Kosaki was a different story. Not to say that the Onodera confectionery wasn't making much money, but it was unlikely that Kosaki would be going on extravagant dates like Chitoge sometimes did. Thinking about it now, dating Kosaki would be a very different experience from dating Chitoge...

"Well...I think it'll be fine. We can make do even if Onodera doesn't have a lot of _that._"

"What are you talking about, Raku? Sure, you can try to skirt around the issue, but no relationship is going to work out without _that._"

"Really? Come on, if our relationship revolves around that, it'd be really shallow...I don't think Onodera would want _that_ either."

"Trust me, Raku. Despite how Onodera might seem, she's still a girl! And girls definitely want_ that_ in their relationships."

"How would you know...?"

But Shu seemed convinced about it. And it was true that while neither of them had been in a serious relationship yet, Shu was surprisingly popular with people at school. Maybe he did know more about this stuff. Was Raku being naive, ignoring how much money could affect a relationship?

"Look, the point is that Onodera doesn't have a lot of _that_. Maybe you've taken it for granted because of Kirisaki, but you need to realize that this is a crucial factor for any successful relationship."

"Aren't you blowing this out of proportion—"

"Listen to me. There's no denying it. So, if Onodera doesn't have _it_, you're going to have to give _it_ to her."

"What!?"

"You have to ease Onodera into it. Show her that you're not content with just your normal relationship. Otherwise, you're going to be stuck at the starting line forever, man!"

"...Even if that was true, how am I supposed to give _that_ to her? I have some, but I'm not loaded!"

"That's why you have to cultivate yourself. You have to get more of _that_ and share it with Onodera. Open new doors for her."

W...Was Shu being serious? Raku didn't expect to hear this out of the blue during his lunch break, but how else was he supposed to take this?

He was telling Raku to go get a job.

Not that it was unusual to have a part-time job around his age...after all, Raku had done some work for the Onodera family and the Shuei-gumi guys already...

But still!

Like, what about tact!?

What kind of best friend just slapped unemployment in your face! Especially when he was trying to get love advice!

_No...Shu's right. I'm the one that's not getting it._

Best friends told you hard truths. And the truth was that he had gotten pretty reliant on Chitoge's position for their relationship. Things had to be different with Kosaki and that required effort. What was he doing, complaining about this? Wasn't this how relationships normally went? Wasn't this the usual kind of change that happened? He was finally going to have a normal love and he was getting all cold-feet about it.

"Okay. I get it. You're right, man. I'm doing this all wrong."

"Glad you've come to your senses, buddy."

"So...I guess I should get to work soon then..."

"Why wait? You can start right now."

"What are you talking about!? We're at school!"

"Raku! Are you really going to let that stop you!? This is the girl you've been in love with since _middle school_! If you back down now because of something silly like social order, what kind of man are you!?"

_No, no, even if you say it in that confident tone, this is just ridiculous!_

"Come on, Raku! You've got everything you need on you right now! Just go give it to her!"

"G-Give it to...Shu, I'm completely broke right now, man!"

"What are you being ashamed for? Don't let that stop you!"

"No, no, like I said, I'm broke! I can't give her anything!"

"Yes you can, Raku. Just believe in yourself. Can't you hear your heart cheering you on? Because I can!"

"Look, that's great and all, but I've got nothing! Nothing, man!" said Raku, pulling out his empty pockets.

"Who cares! Just go give it to her!"

"Like I said, I can't give her anything!"

"Yes, you can!"

"No, I can't!"

"Raku, you can do it!"

"Man, I'm telling you, I can't give her anything!"

"And I'm telling you that you just need to go down there, take her hand, and give her a five!"

"What five am I going to give her!?"

"What are you talking about, Raku? You're not making any sense."

"_You're_ not making sense! How the heck am I supposed to give Onodera money when I don't have any money to give her!?"

"Look, Raku you don't need money to give her skinship. You just need to have courage and be a little more aggressive than your usual sel—"

...

...

The two boys stared at each other in silence as their final words finished churning through their minds.

"..."

"..."

Raku leaned back against the rails and sipped on the rest of his juice. Shu cleared his throat and twisted the cap off his own bottle.

...

A time when men needed no words to understand each other.

The best kind of male bonding.

"So...Shu. What's this I hear about you getting confessed to by a first-year?"

_PPPFFFFFTTTT!_

Juice spilled from Shu's mouth as he began coughing and sputtering.

"Hah...haha...sorry about that. I guess I drank too quickly."

"Right..."

Shu pushed his glasses up into his spiky hair and wiped at his face with a handkerchief. The juice had trickled down his chin and was dripping onto his open collar.

"So, are you going to tell me about her?"

"We still haven't finished our earlier conversation though."

He flashed a grin at Raku as he dabbed away at the juice.

"Ah...it's pretty sticky."

Shu licked his thumb and began rubbing at his cheek.

"Our earlier conversation...you were talking about skinship, huh?"

"You and Kirisaki have been pretending to date for a while. Not to mention you guys are really good friends. I think you're a lot more comfortable with having Kirisaki in your personal space than Onodera."

Shu licked his thumb again and then his index finger. He rubbed at his cheek again, but this time trailed down along his jawline.

"I guess...you're right..."

"So Raku. My suggestion is that you give Onodera some skinship. Make her feel like she can lower her guard around you."

"Even if you tell me that...we're not even dating yet. Besides, I don't even know how I'm supposed to go about giving her skinship—"

"What you need is practice, Raku. Be comfortable with your body and with letting other people in."

"...What?"

Shu's hand swept across his face, his glasses dangling between his fingers and his spiky hair settling gently into slightly upraised locks.

"Practice, Raku."

Shu leaned back so that his elbows rested on the rails. His empty hand moved up and played with the top button of his shirt.

"...Practice? How am I supposed to practice something like that...?"

"That's a good question..."

The button popped away from Shu's shirt. The subtle, but rugged line of his pectorals peeked through the triangular space.

"Shu...what are you doing?"

Raku swallowed as his throat tightened a little. Something was fluttering in his chest. A feeling he had never felt before, slowly drifting down through his stomach.

"There's no other way for you to get closer to Onodera. You need practice, Raku."

Suddenly, Shu's hand grabbed Raku by the arm. He pulled him in until their eyes locked, their faces just inches away from each other.

"I can help you with that."

"W-W-What are you saying, Shu? I don't get what—"

The words faded away. Shu's golden brown eyes, deep and warm, were staring into him relentlessly. Raku couldn't get his thoughts straight. He couldn't focus on anything except the strong, firm grip on his arm and the warm breath that he could feel faintly near his lips.

The tiny remnants of saliva and juice still shining—

A sweet taste, mango flavor...

Raku swallowed again. His body started trembling.

What if...

No, no, this wasn't...

Right, this wasn't...anything. Nothing was going to happen right now. This was Shu he was talking about! His best friend! The guy that had stood by his side longer than anyone else.

Nothing...was going to happen.

It was just...

Practice...

Just a little taste...

Just a way for him...to gain some experience...

Shu's grip loosened. His fingers slipped down Raku's arm and wrapped around his back.

The glasses clattered on the ground.

And those golden brown eyes closed, just like the heated space between them—

**"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Pandemonium at the headquarters of the "Shield of False Love."

The Black Suits were in agony. The base was in flames.

But the doors would not open. The walls could not be breached.

There was no escape in sight.

"AAHHHHHHHHHH! GAHHHHH! I'M DYING, I'M DYING!"

"#225! You can fight it! Close your mind! Think happy thoughts!"

"AAgghh...#377...I can't...I...didn't know...that it would be like this..."

"Don't talk! Just—just empty your mind, #225! Empty your fucking mind, damn it!"

"It's over. I can't get it out...anymore—I saw it. In my mind..."

"Don't you dare give out on me. DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

"Tell my wife. That I...I wasn't able to...keep our vows..."

"You're going to tell her. You're going to stand up and walk out of here on your own damn legs! Alright? Okay? You'll be fine, so just...just...uuu—"

"...I'm sorry. #377...I'll be going ahead of you..."

"Ghhh...uuu...no...NOOOO!"

But his cry was lost in the noise. The sounds of Black Suits perishing one by one, struck by an inescapable image that had wormed its way into their thoughts—

"Ya...Yamada-san..."

"...What is it, Satou?"

"Y-You're...going to be dating this pers—"

"_Shut the fuck up, Satou or I swear to God_—GAH...aggh..."

Seated at the head of the table, the Boss of the "Shield of False Love" organization, a little girl wearing a labcoat—

"Ehem. Okay...so that was page 25 of the Shu x Raku doujinshi that was released at Toranoana. I was a bit disappointed that _someone_ wasn't able to get the Raku x Shu title, but I suppose this will suffice."

The labcoat girl drank some water to moisten her throat and then held the mic back up to her mouth.

"Continuing on—"

"STOP! BOSS, PLEASE STOP! We're sorry, we're real sorry that we got the wrong doujinshi! But you're going to wipe us all out at this ra—"

"SHUT UP! SHUT THAT IDIOT UP RIGHT NO—"

"Ah, I see. So this is _my_ fault, is it?"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck—"

"Yamada-san...I'm sorry, but..."

"Satou. Satou, don't you dare. Don't you dare leave me here alone, you ass—"

"Haru-chan...is waiting for me. I must join her...along with the others that Komi has abandoned—"

"SATOUUUUUU, DON'T LEAVE ME, YOU BAAASTAAARDDD!"

"And Shu slammed Raku back against the rails, his hands clamped onto the sides of his face—"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: **_It's been a while since I wrote for this story, so I was just trying to get back into the groove. But this... _

_I don't even know..._


	28. HSKC 1 - Let's Watch a Porno!

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Part One_

* * *

Onodera Kosaki was facing a problem. It had been two weeks since she had confessed to the love of her life, Ichijou Raku. But during her confession, she had also found out that one of her best friends, Kirisaki Chitoge, was also in love with him.

And so was Chitoge's bodyguard, Tsugumi Seishirou.

And her own little sister, Onodera Haru.

And...well, she had always known about Tachibana Marika and Kanakura Yui.

These revelations put her in a tough spot. On one hand, she was feeling an unexpected feeling of happiness and pride. No one else had seemed to notice how good a person Ichijou Raku was. She had always been frightened that he might be taken away by someone else someday. When Chitoge had started "dating" him, the shock had hit so hard that she hadn't known how to cope with it. Maybe that was why Ruri had been able to persuade her to continue shooting for Raku. It wasn't that Kosaki was the kind of person that would fight for a guy that was already taken. In fact, Kosaki was like a docile little bunny. The punch had been like a tiger's strike, knocking her completely senseless.

It had been with great relief that she had found out the truth, that the two had been pretending to date because of issues between their families. Of course, there were times where she was asked some awkward questions because she seemed interested in a supposedly taken person. And maybe that made people think that perhaps Onodera Kosaki wasn't so innocent after all. Perhaps she was really a schemer, someone that waited for an opportunity and then mercilessly swooped in to take it.

But the truth was that Kosaki was really that nice of a girl. She had been ready to give up and cry over her broken heart when she had thought that Raku and Chitoge had spent the night together at a hotel. Then there were the numerous times where Raku had been found in a compromising situation with the other girls. It was exhausting, constantly having her heart pulled one way or another.

But for some reason, she had never really considered the possibility of someone else loving Raku. Or rather, she had considered it, but it had slowly started to be put in the back of her mind. The problem wasn't so much that Raku might be taken away, but that she couldn't muster her courage to confess to him. Was she really good enough for someone like Raku? Could she be a girlfriend that he'd be proud of, that was deserving of his love? She wasn't sure about that. Although her sister and Chitoge doted on her, Kosaki didn't feel that special. She wasn't smart like Ruri and she wasn't as pretty as Chitoge. She wasn't good at cooking like Haru and she wasn't strong physically like Tsugumi. She didn't even have the strong passion that Marika possessed.

In essence, Kosaki was a very normal girl. Perhaps even worse than normal. All she could do was a little decorating. She couldn't see how she could stand with someone like Raku, whose kindness constantly saved people. You only needed to look at their group of friends to see the influence of Raku's actions. He was honest and always trying to do the right thing. Like a white knight? No. Raku wasn't suave or strong. He wasn't fast or very smart or really that special at all.

In fact, you could say that Raku was like Kosaki, a very normal person. But he worked hard no matter the situation and he never let his "normalness" stop him from helping others and standing up for them.

Perhaps you could say that Kosaki admired Raku. Because he could do things that she wished she could do. He was like a light that she wished she could reach. She wanted to feel his warm feelings everyday, continue spending fun times together, and grow into someone that deserved him.

Because she felt so strongly about Raku, the feelings of the other girls made Kosaki a little happy inside. Because it was like an affirmation of how good a person Raku was. How special he was. Other people could see it too, not just her.

But of course, it also troubled her. Because Kosaki was a normal girl. She didn't have anything that would make Raku look her way if there were other stars shining more brightly around him.

They were ugly feelings. It hurt Kosaki because she loved her friends. Just as she wanted to continue her somewhat tumultuous, but enjoyable days with Raku, she also wanted to continue those days with everyone else. But harboring these sort of feelings, this muddy jealousy and self-disdain, it made their glowing days look a little more dull, a little more painful.

It went against every notion of "romance" that she had, but Kosaki wanted to cheer her friends on. She wanted their love to succeed just as much as her own. Confusing and oxymoronic. It really didn't make any sense to her. But that was what she felt.

And that was how she continued after the so-called "Black Suit Invasion." The school's repairs had been made rather quickly by a private construction company. In just a week, the students were back to their regular schedule and classes.

Back to their usual carefree days. Back to their life as second-year students. Raku had never given an answer to their confessions. But she could understand why. Having six girls confess to him all at once...she was sure that he was having trouble trying to sort out his own feelings.

And she knew. She knew that in the end, one girl would be picked and the others would have to deal with the holes in their hearts. She didn't envy Raku for it. In fact, she wanted to take back her confession, save him the pain and turmoil that he had to face in his decision.

But they had all agreed on not discussing the matter anymore with Raku until he came to a decision on his own. It was fair and it was also for the best. Although it hurt just thinking about what Raku had to go through, it was necessary. Now that the truth was in the open, they couldn't just go on with their lives like it had never happened. She didn't want to belittle her friends' treasured feelings like that either.

No, a decision had to be made. But until then, Kosaki was content with the usual antics that happened to their group. She was just fine with spending just a little more time having fun and happy times with everyone.

So, it wasn't really Raku's fault that Kosaki was troubled. Actually, it was because of a completely separate matter that Kosaki was feeling stressed.

And that was because of a certain proposition suggested by her best friend, Miyamoto Ruri, during lunch one day.

"Kosaki, let's watch a porno."

HEAD SLAM.

Kosaki's face came back up from her desk, her forehead red from the collision.

"R-Ruri-chan!?"

Just what was she saying at a time like this!? At lunch time! In class! Right in front of everyone! Did anyone hear? Kosaki whipped her head back and forth to make sure no one was around.

"Ruri-chan, what are you thinking!?" hissed Kosaki.

"Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear enough. We are going to watch a **pornographic** video involving people **being naked** and having **sexual intercourse**."

"! T-Th...It's not about the details! Ruri-chan, we can't do that!"

"Why not? The boys do it."

"That's..."

"I bet even Ichijou-kun does it."

"Geez! Geez, Ruri-chan!" said Kosaki, pulling her friend's cheeks frantically. "Why do we have to watch a p-p...one of those videos anyways!"

"Kohahi, it hurfs." Kosaki reluctantly let go of Ruri's cheeks. "So, we'll get one this afternoon and watch it at your house."

"Why are we watching it at my house!?"

"If I was found watching porno at my house, I wouldn't be able to show my face around my family."

"Neither would I, Ruri-chan!"

"No, it should be fine. Your mom is just a sweets-nut anyways."

"That's...true but...no, no, Ruri-chan, we're not going to watch it at all! This isn't something we should be doing!"

"Kosaki...do you think I like doing this? Do I seem like the kind of person that sits at home all day watching pornos? Do you think I would force my best friend to sit and watch some random strangers fornicating on the screen just to have a silent laugh at her reaction?"

"...Ruri-chan. Don't tell me that's why..."

"Of course not. This isn't just a random suggestion I'm making, Kosaki. It's for your sake!"

"My...sake?"

"That's right. Believe me, if I thought there was any other way to do this, I'd do that instead. But watching a porno is all we can do. It's the only way to fix this mess you're in right now."

"What do you mean, Ruri-chan? What mess are you talking about?"

"Kosaki. If you're really that dense, then our friendship can't continue."

"E-Eh!? R-Ruri-chan, you can't be serious!"

"I'm completely serious! This is as serious as it can get, Kosaki! It's not just about Yui-sensei anymore!" said Ruri, huffing irritably.

"Ah...that's..." said Kosaki, finally getting what Ruri was talking about. "B-But we all agreed that we'd give Ichijou-kun some space so that he could make a decisi-"

"Listen, Kosaki. I can't tell you exactly why I think this because of an especially annoying glasses-wearing bastard, but you have a much stronger chance than the other girls," said Ruri, jabbing her palm with her finger. "Yes, even against Kirisaki-san's and Yui-sensei's extremely high specs. Yes, even against Tsugumi-san's much more endowed chest."

"Wait, what about Marika-chan...?"

"The point is, Kosaki, you have a very strong advantage over them that you're not aware of. And if you don't act now, then you're going to throw that away! This is the real deal, Kosaki. Even your sister is gunning for Ichijou now!"

"Haru is...I mean...I think it'd be ok if..."

"Don't think like that, Kosaki! For the last time, if you want your man, you have to fight for it! Didn't you tell me that you'd fight for him, Kosaki? You think because you confessed to him that you can just sit back and relax? This is when you have to strike!"

"Nnngg..." Ruri was right. This was no time to be relaxing. True, she had confessed her feelings, but five other girls had also confessed their feelings. The special someone in Raku's heart was still up in the air. But unlike previous times, there was an end in sight now. No matter what, Raku would be making a decision sometime in the near future.

"I get it, Ruri-chan," said Kosaki, accepting defeat. "So...how is watching a p...those kinds of videos going to help me?"

"She who strikes first strikes twice," said Ruri. "We've all been more or less friends for the past two years. What's the one thing that Ichijou hasn't done with any of the girls that like him?"

"Uhm...k-kissing, probably. I think...on the lips..."

"And?"

"...T-Touching. And t...those kinds of things..."

There was a moment of silence. Kosaki looked at Ruri apprehensively in the silence.

"Kosaki."

"W-What, Ruri-chan?"

"...You're more daring than I thought."

Kosaki's face burst into steam.

"T-That's not...you were the one that asked, Ruri-chan!"

"Well, yeah. But you could've said something like going on a trip alone together or spending the night in the same room-"

_Uggh..._

Kosaki held her tongue. She hadn't mentioned it to Ruri, but there had already been an incident like that when they had gone together to help her relative at the onsen. Also, since Raku was pretending to be Chitoge's girlfriend, he had already done a lot of date-like things with her. There really wasn't much left besides the intimate stuff!

"But this is good. It'll make things easier when we watch the porno if your mind is already in that kind of state."

"My mind is not in that kind of staaate!"

"Ah. Lunch is almost over. Ok, we're meeting after school. Don't forget, Kosaki."

"Ehhh...Ruri-chan, you can't be serious..."

"**Be there**," said Ruri, her eyes piercing like daggers.

It looked like Onodera Kosaki would be watching a porno after all.

* * *

**A/N: **_And so, the bonus arc begins! These chapters will have a more spread out and unpredictable update schedule than the main plot. Sorry for the inconvenience!_


	29. HSKC 2 - Let's Watch a Porno! 2

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan! **

_Part Two  
_

* * *

Watching a porno. It was a crazy idea. It wasn't something that you'd normally do to solve your friend's romance problems.

But in Kosaki's case, it was necessary.

Miyamoto Ruri's best friend was Onodera Kosaki. For the longest time, she had been watching her friend clumsily try and convey her feelings to her love, Ichijou Raku. Most of the time, it was infuriating for her, watching them dance around the pole, almost exactly the same way each time. Stop chasing after your own tails, damn it! She wanted to take their heads and have them properly face each other for once!

But she couldn't do that. As an especially annoying glasses-wearing bastard had once told her, being able to attain your own happiness was something special. It was something that you couldn't do over and over again in life. Perhaps once or twice, maybe never. Being happy is a selfish thing at its core; no matter what people may think, your own pleasure will never be the same as someone else's. Your happiness can't come from someone else's.

To achieve happiness with the help of others is not real happiness. It is an illusion of happiness that gets created by accepting the false expectations of others.

_You like _? Ah, you should confess! I'll help you! I know exactly what you should do._

In a way, this fake happiness is even worse than not achieving happiness; it is a compromise that's forced by having too many hands dip into the pot.

In the end, the most others can do is create the opportunities and give a little push forward. But happiness must be taken with your own hands. She knew that. But it still frustrated her to see that her friend still couldn't put a finger on her own happiness.

Perhaps it was something idealistic like being happy if her friend was happy. That sort of contradictory logic that didn't fit in this pretentious platitude. The truth was that Miyamoto Ruri wouldn't reach happiness just because her best friend was happy.

But it would be a good step forward for her.

And the first thing that needed to happen to do this was make Ichijou Raku aware of Kosaki's feelings. This had been accomplished at the end of the "Black Suit Invasion." However, she hadn't expected the other girls to also confess. Sure, she had been suspicious about Tsugumi and Chitoge's true feelings; meanwhile, Marika and Yui had already declared their love for Raku. But having all of those confessions at once-

It was certainly not on purpose. But those other confessions had made Kosaki's confession meaningless. There was no advantage gained from this. Everything was still on the same playing field.

Except for one fact.

And that was the all-but-confirmed suspicion that Ichijou Raku was in love with Kosaki.

Sure, Ruri had no direct evidence. But she was sure enough that she'd bet everything she had on it. If this was true, then Kosaki merely had to push the right buttons.

Being confessed to by the person you like would floor anyone. Being confessed to by five other people, that was just overkill. No doubt Raku was struggling. What Kosaki needed to do in order to bring that idiot back on track was remind him of his true feelings. The feelings that Ruri was sure he had been holding onto since middle school.

And that meant that Kosaki needed to be aggressive. Not "try" to be aggressive as she had been failing to do the past two years in high school. No, she needed to turn on the charm. She needed to get physical with Raku. Actively ask him on outings. Spend more time together.

But Kosaki was an innocent girl. She was a passive, meek, goodie-two-shoes. Compare her to the forceful, sometimes underhanded, Tachibana Marika. Compare her to the direct, so-pure-that-it-didn't-seem-real love of Kanakura Yui. Raku was in love with Kosaki. So Kosaki just needed to make him fall in love with her all over again.

Watching a porno. It was something that you couldn't see Onodera Kosaki doing. But that was exactly the point. The porno itself wasn't important; what was important was that Kosaki be able to push herself past her character type. Be able to do the things she wanted to, put her body to what her mind and heart wanted.

Yes. This was all for the sake of her best friend. Even if it meant tainting her innocence and dragging her up the stairway of adulthood. Yes, this had nothing to do with the fact that Miyamoto Ruri had been extremely proud and impressed with Kosaki when she had confessed, but then Kosaki had ruined all of that by deliberately nerfing herself with some sort of "peace treaty." Nope, it had nothing to do with how annoyed she was at how sheepy Kosaki acted after getting just one good punch out there in the open.

Nope, it wasn't like that at all.

She was just helping her best friend.

"Sorry, Ruri-chan! Did I make you wait long?"

_Three years too many, you sheep!_

Is what Ruri wanted to say sometimes.

"No. Let's go, Kosaki. We have to hurry before the store closes."

"The store?"

"Mitsuya," said Ruri.

"Eh...? Mitsuya? In the city?" said Kosaki. Hm? Weren't they going to watch a porno after school? Why were they going to a popular video rental chain in the shopping district-

Suddenly, Kosaki smiled brightly and walked briskly past Ruri.

"Aha, I forgot. I have to do some tastings for Haru today because of the new items we're adding to the menu," said Kosaki, laughing cheerfully. ULTIMATE MOVE! Make-a-convenient-excuse-while-running-away technique!

ULTIMATE MOVE!

Threaten-to-reveal-Kosaki's-feelings-for-Ichijou-

"Ah..."

Kosaki ran away.

Damn it! That stupid Ichijou! Even at a time like this, being useless!

In most cases, Ruri didn't like resorting to blackmail on Kosaki. After all, friends don't blackmail each other. However, for some inexplicable reason that had nothing to do with Kosaki, Ruri was feeling vindictive today. She took out her phone and searched for the image that she had bought from that glasses-wearing bastard a year ago after the school trip.

For a moment, Ruri hesitated. She had actually bought the picture because Kosaki looked so cute in it, but now she was going to stain those pure feelings with this act of betrayal. Perhaps there were better ways of doing these things. Maybe she could try talking to Kosaki again. Yeah, she'd try doing that. She'd just call her up and-

_Click._

Kosaki hung up.

Rapidfire texting. Ruri's thumbs moved at the speed of light!

After a few moments passed, Ruri's ringtone started playing.

"Hello?"

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAAAT!?"

"Since you're already running, we'll meet outside Mitsuya. Or else."

"Ruri-chan, you're so mean today..."

"Kosaki." Her voice was black! Kosaki could see black waves spilling out of her phone's speakers!

"Y-Yes!"

"**Hurry up.**" The line went dead with a sharp click.

Kosaki leaned against an electric pole, tears falling from her face. So scary. Why was Ruri so scary today?

* * *

Although Bonyari had its fair share of local businesses, it didn't change the fact that video rental stores were starting to lose their grip on the economy due to new mobile streaming options. Of course, there were still a good number of customers, but they were largely dominated by middle-aged and elderly demographics. However, Mitsuya was an exception. Being part of a nationwide chain, Mitsuya had the manpower and the distribution to compete with the capabilities of the net.

The two Bonyari students met at the Sterbucks next door to discuss their battle plan.

"Are we really going to do this...?" said Kosaki, sobbing with her head in her arms.

"W-We're already here. W-We can't back away now," said Ruri, shakily sipping a caramel macchiato.

"Ruri-chan..." started Kosaki, noticing her friend's pale complexion. "Why are you shaking?"

"It's because I'm nervous!"

"Nervous!? About what!? Wasn't this your idea!?"

"It's true that it was my idea. But it's all for your sake, Kosaki. So naturally, I have to go with you. It's not like I can trust you to buy one yourself. Besides, you'd just fall apart when you're walking inside. You'd probably do something stupid like ask the cash register where the adult video section is. So of course I have to go with you. It's not like I didn't want to go buy one myself because it'd be awkward and I've never done something like this before and I don't want to do it alone so I need my best friend to be here with me so I can force her to buy it instead of me-"

Kosaki felt her anxiety start to crumble away as Ruri said all of this with a monotone expression. So Ruri felt the same way as her. But she had still dragged her over here to do this. Kosaki wasn't exactly sure how this was supposed to be for her sake, but if her best friend was putting up this much of an effort, it must be for a good reason.

"Ok, Ruri-chan. I-I think I can do it!"

"Hm? Really?"

"Yeah!" said Kosaki, downing her doppio espresso.

"Kosaki...you were supposed to get that mixed into your-"

"I know..." said Kosaki, clenching her mouth and trembling violently. So bitter! How could something be so bitter!?

"Well then, here's the plan. We step into the store and go to the AV section. We have exactly ten minutes of browsing before a clerk comes over and asks us if we need any help."

"O-Ok...Ten minu-"

Kosaki began pounding the table as the aftertaste kicked in.

"Then when we get up to the register, act like you're not seventeen."

"Eh? Wait, what's that got do with anythin-"

"Ah? Is that Kosaki-chan and Ruri-chan?"

Ruri spat her drink into Kosaki's face. A blonde beauty was waving at them as she walked over with a boyish-looking girl in tow.

HUUUHH!? Chitoge and Tsugumi!? What were they doing here!?

"A-Ah...Chitoge-chan! What a coincidence!" said Kosaki, wiping her face with a napkin.

"Yeah, I didn't expect to see you guys here!"

"Hello, Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama."

"What are you guys up to?" asked Chitoge, pulling up a seat at their table.

"J-Just drinking coffee," said Kosaki, laughing shrilly. _Ah...I'm such an idiot._ "What about you and Tsugumi-chan?"

"Us? We're going over to Mitsuya to get a video for Tsugumi."

"E...Eh...? Really? What video?"

"Well, she's been really into cat videos lately, so-"

"O-Ojou, I don't think Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama would care about hearing such mundane-"

"Ehh? Cat videos, huh?" said Kosaki, her eyes glimmering. "You're into that kind of stuff, Tsugumi-chan?"

"I-I wouldn't say into it...but I have developed an interest..." said Tsugumi, blushing furiously.

"We were talking to Marika about it and she suggested a video for us," said Chitoge.

"Marika-chan?" Kosaki and Ruri looked at each other. That was unusual. In general, Marika and Chitoge weren't on good terms. Could it be that after the confession, they had started getting along?

"Yeah, I know right? But she was pretty helpful this time. She even told us which store the video was available at."

"What video was it?"

"Something neko...? What was it again, Tsugumi?"

"I believe it was 'Netorare Neko-chan!', Ojou."

Kosaki's face was blasted with coffee again.

"Netorare? What does that mean?"

"Hmm...perhaps something like 'to take by sleeping with?'"

"Take by sleeping with...? Oh, I get it! It's about an adopted cat!"

Ruri's mouth had turned into a subway tunnel. She exchanged glances with Kosaki, who also had her mouth gaping open. Ah, so she knew too. Wait a second. Kosaki!? Where did you learn that from!? When!?

"Uh...Kirisaki-san. I don't think that video is available anymore," said Ruri, thinking fast. "We just came from Mitsuya actually and that was one of the videos my...friend wanted to watch."

"No way...they're out?"

"It must be a popular item," said Tsugumi.

""Khhh...I really want to see it now," said Chitoge, completely forgetting her original purpose. "Maybe someone returned it just now."

"Yes, we've already made our way here. It wouldn't hurt to check."

_NO!_

Ruri and Kosaki exchanged panicked looks. This wasn't good. How evil! Marika wasn't getting along with her at all! At this rate, Chitoge and Tsugumi's innocence were at risk!

"Chitoge-chan!"

"Kirisaki-san!"

Ruri and Kosaki looked at each other again. There was no helping it.

"We'll help you look," said Kosaki with a forced smile.

"Yeah, my friend would be grateful too," said Ruri, feeling like her teeth were going to crack.

"You guys don't have to do tha-"

"WE INSIST!" said the two of them. Chitoge blinked at their enthusiasm.

"Ok...ah! We can all watch it together if we find it. It'll be a girl's night!"

"O-Ojou, I'm sure that Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama both have things that they have to do toda-"

"NOPE, WE'RE FREE!"

"...Well, if that's the case...we'll be in your care," said Tsugumi, bowing her head. Ruri and Kosaki panted after their outburst. As the four of them left the Sterbucks and headed to Mitsuya, Ruri and Kosaki frantically whispered to each other-

"What do we do, Ruri-chan!?"

"I-It's ok. There's no guarantee that they'll have that video in stock-"

"But Marika-chan said-"

"Damn that Tachibana! If it's like that...then there's no other way. We'll have to do that."

"Huh? Do what?"

"This is actually a chance for us, Kosaki. Mitsuya recently executed some new policies. For porno rentals, they put the discs in coverless boxes now with just the title. This was partially done to address customer concerns but it also means that more sales will go to their online store and video purchases, where the cover is left intact."

"...Huh? What does that mean?"

"It means that if we're lucky, we can leave this store without them knowing about the video's contents."

"We're going to let them rent that video!?"

"Yes, Kosaki. They're going to rent that video. And then..."

Ruri's glasses glinted as they reached Mitsuya's front entrance.

"We're going to steal it from them."

* * *

**A/N: **_Just to clarify for some that might not know about the subject; a common equivalent given to netorare (NTR) is cuckold. There are long debates about its exact definition on the Internet, but NTR is usually used to refer to the act of the protagonist's loved one being stolen from him/her. _


	30. HSKC 3 - At the Video Store

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Part Three  
_

* * *

"Ah, it's Maruusha!"

"Oh, the ambassador for the Nonbeeri Kingdom. I didn't know that you kept up with their politics, Ojou."

"Huh? Oh yeah...ahaha. I just came across it and got interested..."

Chitoge tried to look nonchalant as she went back to watching the television screen in front of Mitsuya. It was on an international news channel and was showing Maruusha Lu Vieh Nonbeeri as she discussed new efforts the kingdom was undertaking to further foreign relations.

"Looks like she's doing well..."

"Hm? Did you say something, Ojou?"

"Nope! Ok, let's go on in, Tsugumi! It's our first time at Mitsuya, so let's check everything out!"

"Ah, it's Maruusha-san!" said Kosaki as she followed Chitoge and Tsugumi through the door.

"Maruusha-san?" said Ruri, looking back at the television screen.

"Oh yeah, I didn't get a chance to tell you before, Ruri-chan. Actually, a couple months ago-"

"Sorry, Kosaki, but we'll have to discuss it later," said Ruri as they entered the store. "We can't afford to be distracted right now."

"R-Right..." said Kosaki, getting her mind back on track. Yes, now wasn't the time for them to be making small talk. They had come here for only one reason after all-

To rent a porno.

Or more specifically, to stop Tsugumi from realizing that she would be renting a porno.

"AHH! I can't believe this movie is already out! We have to rent this, Tsugumi!"

"_Bodyguards and Assassins..._Perhaps this would be a good reference..."

As Chitoge and Tsugumi examined the display case with great interest, Kosaki and Ruri snuck over to a nearby shelf.

"Ok. It looks like we've got a bit of time to set things up."

"W-What do we do, Ruri-chan? Now that I think about it, isn't it impossible for us to stop Chitoge and Tsugumi from just asking a clerk for the porno?"

"That's right. But that won't be a problem. Listen up, Kosaki. Your average Mitsuya probably gets hundreds of customers in just a single day. And of those hundreds of customers, there are dozens of weirdos."

"Really?"

"Yes. You don't get people like that at your store?"

"I don't think so. Everyone's really nice. Ah...but sometimes Haru and my mom come over and say they'll take care of a customer for me..." A quizzical look appeared on Kosaki's face. "Hmm...it's kind of weird actually..."

"...Kosaki. We need to talk about this some other time. Not now, but we definitely need to talk about this."

"Huh?"

"In any case, you meet plenty of weirdos in retail service. Asking for a porno, renting a porno, it happens more than we think, Kosaki. But because of that, many clerks don't bat an eye if someone asks for a porno."

"I...see..." said Kosaki, her face a little red. Even though it was necessary for the discussion right now, hearing Ruri say "porno" over and over again was a bit much for her. Did Ruri really think nothing about saying the word "porno?"

"Kosaki, are you listening?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Ok. Like I was saying, it's not a big deal if Tsugumi or Chitoge-chan ask a clerk for the porno. The problem is when they try to rent it."

"That's right...Ruri-chan, how were we going to rent the p-por...that kind of video anyways? Don't you have to be a certain age to-"

"Kosaki, I told you that you meet lots of weirdos in retail service, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Just as there are different types of customers, there are different types of clerks. Actually, I only wanted to scout out the store today. But now that we have Tsugumi and Chitoge-chan here, we don't have that kind of leeway anymore. It'll all depend on luck now," said Ruri, her expression grave.

"Luck? What do you mean, Ruri-chan?" asked Kosaki.

"It's true that you need to be a certain age to rent pornos from Mitsuya. But think about it for a second, Kosaki. To check if someone's the right age, you need to ask that person to show some identification."

"We can't rent a p- those kinds of videos then. We only have our student identification, Ruri-chan."

"This is where the different types of clerks come in. We're out of luck if we have a strict, by-the-books sort of clerk at the register. But...there's one type of clerk that we can count on letting us slide without showing our identification."

"Eh? What type of clerk is that?"

"A herbivore."

"Herbivore?" said Kosaki, tilting her head.

"In short,** timid, spineless, diminutive **people that can't muster the nerve to be even the slightest bit aggressive."

Each accusation stabbed Kosaki sharply in the chest until she was reeling back, her legs giving out underneath her.

"Ah, I wasn't referring to anything specific about you when I was listing those out."

"So you _were_ talking about me!"

"Anyways, do you understand now, Kosaki? Herbivore clerks will find it hard to ask for identification because it'll mean that they have to confront the customer. Some customers will take it as a challenge or an insult and that just makes the herbivore clerk feel more uneasy."

"R-Really? Is that how it is...?"

"That's why if we're lucky enough to have a herbivore clerk at the register, then we might be able to rent the porno without showing any identification. All we need to do is look and act like we're the right age."

"But...isn't that illegal, Ruri-chan?"

A sharp glare, sharp enough that it made Kosaki avert her eyes instinctively.

"Do you want Tsugumi-chan to find out that she came to this store to rent a porno?"

"N-No...but you were planning on doing this befo-"

"The past is the past, Kosaki. Now, we need to get to work. First, we need to see what the clerk is like at the register so we can adjust our plan accordingly."

As Kosaki and Ruri tiptoed towards the register, they passed by a girl and a boy who were browsing through the Blu-ray shelves.

"Hey...are we really going to do this?" said the girl.

"Of course we are. We're already here, aren't we?" said the boy, casually picking up a Blu-ray case and inspecting it. "Oh...a new Mahouka BD."

"Mahouka? Oh, it's that one anime, isn't it?"

"I'm surprised you know about it. I thought you didn't watch much anime."

"W-Well...my friends told me about the light novels..."

"Heeh...but _this guy_ is nothing like your type," said the boy, putting the stoic Tatsuya back into the shelf.

"W-What are you talking about? How do you know what my type is anyways...?"

"Because you confessed to Maiko-senpai," said the boy, taking another Blu-ray out. "Ah, Yuruyuri."

The girl's face exploded into a cloud of steam at the casual remark.

"D-Don't say that so loudly!"

"He's not here, you know," said the boy.

"Yeah, but...there are people around..."

"Jeez, that's why you got rejected by Maiko-senpai. You're too sheepy," said the boy, pushing back his slipping glasses. The girl looked down at her feet with a troubled expression.

"Muu...I still don't understand how renting a p-p..."

"Porno."

"Ngh...Why are you making me rent that anyways..."

"You don't get it at all, do you?" said the boy, comparing the Yuruyuri Blu-ray with a Love Lab Blu-ray. "You got rejected because he said he's not ready to be in a relationship now, right? Doesn't that mean you still have a chance then?"

"Y-Yeah, but...I don't want to trouble him. And I think he and Miyamoto-senpai might have something going on-"

"Jeez, you're really a sheep, aren't you? That's why we're renting you this porno. It's perfect reference material for you to use for your next confession."

"I...I never said that I'm going to confess again!'

"You said you were going to look for a new love, but you're still hung up on Maiko-senpai."

"T-That's not true..."

"Maiko-senpai and I have overlapping social circles, so I know what his type is like. Don't you want to understand him better too? Watching a porno will help you with that."

"It doesn't seem like it'll help me at all..." said the girl, exasperated.

"Don't worry. I did a lot of research into picking out the perfect porno for you. This is a legendary item. I've heard that you can only find it at this Mitsuya. There are people that come here all the way from Kyushu just to rent this DVD."

"What!? How can a porno be that famous!?"

"It's called 'Netorare Neko-chan!' It's perfect for you, since it's all about a thieving cat girl that steals another woman's boyfriend."

"That sounds horrible!"

"No, no. It's very good. I would even go as far to say that it's perhaps one of the best pornos made in this decade," said the boy.

"Don't talk about this porno like it's a critically-acclaimed film!"

"Well, don't worry about it. Just let me handle everything. I'm tall, so they don't ask for my ID when I rent pornos here."

"You've done this before!?"

"Are you judging me? Well, that's fine, I guess," said the boy. "I'm going to judge you after this anyways."

"I'm leaving! I'm going to leave right now!"

"Ok. Then I'll tell Maiko-senpai that you were looking for a porno in this Mitsu-"

"WAWAWAWA! Don't! You're horrible!"

"You can think that. But I'm doing this for your sake," said the boy. "I don't think you fit with someone as great as Maiko-senpai, but that's why we'll work at it. At the very least, I think someone with sincere feelings like yours could help Maiko-senpai finally move on from his past love."

"Eh...? You...really think so?"

"Yeah. So ready to get the porno?"

"...W-Wait. Give me a few minutes to prepare myself..."

"Ok. Can you hold this for me then? I need to check the prices for these other Blu-rays." The boy dumped a towering stack of Blu-ray's into the girl's arms.

At that moment, Kosaki and Ruri tiptoed back to the shelf on the other side of the two students, having finished their reconnaissance.

"Alright. We're in luck. It's a herbivore clerk."

"How could you tell?"

"I see herbivores often," said Ruri, flashing a rare smile. Kosaki pouted at Ruri. "We already told Chitoge and Tsugumi-chan that we'll ask about the rental for them. All we have to do now is ask the clerk in the right way."

"That's good. It feels like we'll really be able to pull this off now, Ruri-chan!"

"True, we're making good progress here," said Ruri in agreement. She clapped a hand on Kosaki's shoulder. "That's why it's all up to you now, Kosaki."

"Eh...? Ehhhhh!? What do you mean by that, Ruri-chan!"

"As much as it pains me to admit...my short size makes it less convincing that I'm of legal age to rent a porno," said Ruri grudgingly. "That's why it has to be you, Kosaki."

"No way...I can't do it, Ruri-chan! It's impossible for me."

"You have to do it, Kosaki! There's no other way. Now, I'm going to practice with you. You need to be able to do this without raising any suspicion."

"But Ruri-chan, you're way better than me at doing stuff like this-"

"I know, Kosaki. So that's what you need to do! Be like me, Kosaki!"

"E-Ehhhhhhh!?"

"We don't have much time. Pretend that I'm the clerk. Hurry, Kosaki!"

"Ah...um..." stammered Kosaki, trying to process everything that was going on. "Uh...d-do you have a DVD c...called..."

"Not good enough. Again!"

"Ok...I think I'm ready," said the girl on the other side of the shelves.

"Alright, let's go ask the clerk for the DVD."

"W-Wait! Actually, I'm not sure anymore-"

The girl jumped as the boy suddenly grabbed her hands.

"Listen, you can do this. Never forget. Believe in yourself. Not in the you that I believe in, not in the me that you believe in. Believe in the you that believes in you."

"...Huh?"

"Don't you get it? What's so hard to understand?"

"...None of that made any sense!"

"Ok, then do it for Maiko-senpai."

"Why would Maiko-senpai want me to do this!?"

"...Trust me. Every boy reading this right now wants you to do this."

"Ehhhhh..."

The girl took a deep breath and tightened her fists. Ok, she was ready. She could do this. N-Not for Shu's sake or anything. But because she wanted to. Yes, she wanted to rent this porno.

...

"I...I want to go home..."

"Come on, let's go," said the boy, pushing the girl out of the aisle. As they headed up to the help desk, they passed by Chitoge and Tsugumi, who were now watching a variety show on one of the television screens.

"Huh...Kosaki and Ruri-chan are taking a long time," said Chitoge.

"Perhaps they do not have the rental after all, Ojou," said Tsugumi.

"I'll go check on them. Where's the help desk?"

At that moment, a shocked Miyamoto Ruri stepped out of her aisle, her glasses slipping down her face.

"What...what have I done? K...Kosaki?"

Onodera Kosaki was like a harmless bunny. It was in her very nature to be mochi-like. Soft, squishy, sweet in the inside. To be rigid and callous as Miyamoto Ruri could be, it required a transformation. One that Onodera Kosaki herself was not capable of.

But there was more at stake here than just Onodera Kosaki. The fate of her friend's chastity was at stake. For all that Onodera Kosaki wasn't, she was someone that did her best to come through for her friends.

And so, she had searched deep within herself. She had dived into that pool of memories, that well of experiences that spanned through her middle school and high school years. Sifting through her character, through the small residual influences that had slowly been piling up inside her-

Yes. She knew Miyamoto Ruri well. Miyamoto Ruri had and would always be her best friend. There was no doubt about that.

She could trust Ruri. She could believe in Ruri.

Friendship. Marriage. Family.

These sort of bonds were trivial to the sort that Onodera Kosaki and Miyamoto Ruri held.

Yes, she could do it.

She could become Miyamoto Ruri.

She would transform, for what was at stake here.

What an intense change. The warm, bright light that was Onodera Kosaki was extinguished. Suddenly, there was a cool draft in the room. A blankness with a hint of something beneath. A veil of glass that surrounded her.

Calm, steady fingers grasped the glasses that were slipping off Ruri's face. Kosaki gently pulled the glasses off and placed them over her own eyes.

"I'm ready, Ruri."

_What...what have I created?_ thought Ruri as for the very first time in their years together, Ruri could not read the expression on Kosaki's face.

* * *

**A/N: **_A small adjustment here; going over some of the more recent chapters had me realize that Ruri now refer to Tsugumi and Chitoge more closely than earlier in the series, so I'll be using the -chan suffix from here on. On another note, Maruusha was referred to as Chitodera by some when she was first introduced. What would a Ruri/Kosaki fusion be called? Ruridera? Kosari?_


	31. HSKC 4 - Introducing Society

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Part Four  
_

* * *

His name was Nakano Shakai. A new freshman at one of Bonyari's universities, living alone in an apartment after leaving his parents' home. Perhaps if he had been a year older, he would've been going to university in Tokyo instead. However, his brother, Nakano Hitori, had seemed to have succumbed to the pressures of marriage and ran away to some unknown prefecture. With his parents using their funds to assist Hitori's wife in her search, Shakai had to fend for himself. He had decided to go to university in Bonyari, where tuition was cheaper, and get a part-time job to help supplement his meager savings.

And so, Nakano Shakai was now working as a clerk at a local Mitsuya. Having classes in the morning, he took afternoon shifts, 5 days a week, and was given a 50% employer's discount on brand new rentals. Sometimes, if his boss was in a good mood, he also got a coupon for one free movie viewing at the theater, as long as the film had been released for at least 3 weeks.

Yes, in short, Nakano Shakai had been able to accomplish on his own what his brother and the rest of his family hadn't. Become a proper member of society. Enter the flow of the world, begin his journey down the path of an adult with responsibilities, with a future to work towards.

_Who am I kidding...?_

Shakai sighed and looked out at the customers roaming through Mitsuya's aisles. True, perhaps he looked the part, with his clerk uniform, his short, tidy hair, his average build. He bowed at the right moments, answered questions politely, and didn't get into trouble with any of the customers. He apologized profusely for his mistakes, worked overtime without having to be asked to, and wore a happy smile on his face. He didn't complain about his loud neighbors to the landlord and he never declined a request from his "friends" when they asked to borrow money.

Was Shakai a yes-man? No, there were things that Shakai wouldn't do, even if pressed, even if forced by circumstance. Moral obligations, legal obligations, perhaps even a sign of individual character. But to be frank, there were _few_ things that Shakai was not willing to bend on. He was like a blade of grass. It didn't take much to have his forehead touch the ground.

Well, it was fine to be like that. After all, he wasn't a troublemaker. And he wasn't a fanatic like his brother. Even if he was a little wimpy, he was still normal. He was still a functioning gear in society.

He told himself that, but his legs still wouldn't stop shaking as she approached the service desk.

From the moment _that_ group had entered, heads had turned. A beautiful blonde whose hair was like a stream of shining gold and whose eyes were like vibrant, untouched oceans. A delicate flower whose kind, warm soul seemed to radiate in an aura around her. A cool glasses-wearing beauty, with the alluring charm of well-frozen ice, clean and clear like a mirror.

They had the uniform of Bonyari High students. Judging by the color of their ribbons, they were in their second-year.

Shakai sniffed the air and felt a dreamy smile grow on his face. Ah. Fresh, young high school girls.

_No, no, no! Stop! Stop it, Shakai! That era of your life is over! Don't become like your brother!_

What a struggle. Perhaps it was because Shakai had never had any sort of relationship with a girl outside of his family yet. The rose-colored life of high school had passed on by without hesitation and he had graduated without a single happy memory to dwell on. Or perhaps it was because of the age difference now that he was attending university.

Whatever the reason, high school girls had never looked so appealing to Shakai as they did now. Was this the reason for JK-fetish? Perhaps they weren't crazy perverts after all! The reasoning was sound. After all, wasn't high school the primetime for romance, the spring storm that scattered blooming firsts while nurturing growing adults? Yes, the time before high school was of naivety, of blissful ignorance. The time after was a winding, rocky road that seemed to have no end. It was only in high school where things were perfectly maintained, where opportunities could arise so easily, so gracefully.

Shakai wanted to cry. What a wasted youth. Now he walked through throngs of unfamiliars, faces that shifted and changed relentlessly with each quarter, with each blitz of text and droning lectures. Couples walked past him, reeking of experience. Mixers, parties, circle activities, just more and more white noise that he had to filter out, that he couldn't bear to think about. And then off to work, where he saw the true cruelty of society, the chains of laws, societal expectations, employee responsibility. Smile and wave as the prizes pass by. Then go home and fall into worthless dreams, just to wake up again to the next round of nightmares.

_When did I start having such dark thoughts?_ wondered Shakai. It was an extremely negative perspective on his life, his normal life, his functional role in society. What about all the good things? He had the independence of a free young man. He had money in his pocket, a roof to sleep under, the beginnings of a quality education that would allow him to take his first step into true adulthood. Yes, yes. And look at this. He was even given views like this. How envious his situation was, this chance to watch these beautiful, untainted high school girls walk through the aisles. Their eyes were gleaming with the bright, pure light that only a young maiden could have. Kuuu! So beautiful. So calming. He wished the image would imprint in his mind forever.

_I really have a problem..._

Shakai was now crying for a completely different reason. Well, it wasn't like he had the courage to do anything. So wasn't it fine to just watch! Didn't someone worthless like him deserve a small reward for all the hardships he suffered through? Even if it was a reward fit for pigs, at least let him enjoy the meal as best he could!

"Huh...Kosaki and Ruri-chan are taking a long time."

"Perhaps they do not have the rental after all, Ojou."

"I'll go check on them. Where's the help desk?"

Huh? Wait, what did she just say? Wait a second, those two were coming over here!? A beauty like that, a high school girl like that, over here...to him...

His body began trembling violently and he felt like a hole had just appeared in his stomach. Oh god, this was bad. This was horrible. He couldn't even talk well with regular customers! But with someone who looked like she modeled for magazines, this was too much! Nakano Shakai wasn't ready for this kind of exposure!

He wished he was a turtle. Perhaps he could retreat into the collar of his polo. Could he manage this feat without using his hands? Just start with getting your chin under there...

"Huh? They're not here..."

The blonde girl looked around as she approached the desk. Was she looking for someone? Maybe she was lost...oh, of course! She had gotten separated from her parents. He needed to put in a lost child alert.

_Don't be stupid!_

Shakai mentally slapped himself. Remember who you're dealing with, damn it! It's a high school girl! Sniff the air! SNIFF!

"Do you think something is wrong, Ojou?" asked Tsugumi, watching the clerk beat his head on the counter.

"He looks like he's having trouble with something. Maybe we should ask later."

"Please leave this to me, Ojou. It's on my account that we're here in the first place."

Hmm? Someone was at the counter.

_Ah..._

Another beautiful person. A handsome face, but impossibly delicate and smooth. There was a swell at his chest, probably diamond-hard pectorals built from hours of hard exercise in the gym. And the sharpness of the school uniform on his body, the confident way he carried himself while walking forward-

_Snap!_ Shakai felt intense rage build up inside him.

_Damn normalfag! So she's your girlfriend, huh!? I hope you go to hell! Shit, you lucky bastard! Why are you coming into this store with your girlfriend!? Are you looking for a romantic movie that you can watch together while sitting cozily in a cushy loveseat!? Damn you! Damn you, you're so cool! Where did you get your hair cut at, you suave son of a bitch!_

"Excuse me. Are you available to help us with a small matter?"

"Yes, of course. I'd be happy to assist you with anything you need," said Shakai with a broad smile. _Die, normalfag!_

"I see. Thank you," said Tsugumi, turning around to call for Chitoge. "Ojou!"

_OJOU!?_

Shakai turned into stone. What an overbearing nickname! Was this guy serious!? Did normalfags actually talk that way to each other nowadays? Wasn't it supposed to be _Darling_ or _My Honey!?_

_Shit, this guy's on another level! Even if I somehow got a girlfriend myself, I'd never be able to call her something like _Ojou_ out in public! Damn it, I'm starting to admire this guy!_

"Do they have it, Tsugumi?"

_Jolt!_ A wild blonde appears at the counter! Shakai caught a whiff of a flowery scent. His whole body stiffened up as Chitoge looked at him.

What long eyelashes. What soft-looking lips. Clear, light skin. Curves in all the right places. This wasn't just your regular blonde! This was the ideal of a true high school international student! So there was a god out there. He had to thank this god. Offerings...what could he offer? Yes, these John Wick DVDs...the god would be very pleased with those...

"I was just going to ask, Ojou. Excuse me-"

"Y-Yes! I'm at your service! Please do not hesitate to ask any questions! For example, just ask and I'll tell you who my top ten AV idols are!"

"Uh...I'm not sure what that is, but we don't need to know that," said Chitoge. "We're looking for a rental."

"I see...uh, please wait for a moment," said Shakai, marveling at how the words just tumbled out of his mouth. Perhaps there was something to regulated dialogue after all. He could just let his trained reflexes take over. "Ok, I have pulled up the search. What is the title of the rental you're looking for?"

"I believe that it's called 'Netorare Neko-chan!'" said Tsugumi in a hushed whisper.

'Very well, 'Netorare Neko-chan!' Let me just pull the information we have on this item..." said Shakai, typing into the computer. Hmm? Wait, something about that title seemed a bit off...

The rental information finished loading up on the screen.

Ah, of course. That sort of title was definitely an adult vi-

"MPH!?"

Chitoge and Tsugumi tilted their heads. Shakai laughed nervously, putting down the hand that he had just used to cover his mouth.

He hadn't read the screen wrong, right!? There was nothing wrong with his eyes, right!? That was exactly what he thought it was, right!?

An adult video! Or in more common terms, a porno!

This guy wanted to rent a porno!? And in front of his girlfriend!?

Scum! Trash! What normalfag! This guy was just a lecherous fuck that was lucky enough to be born with good looks! Disgusting! Horrible! How could he have thought about admiring a scumbag like him!

Wait...did that make sense? Sure, perhaps if the blonde girl was some trashy wannabe girl that hung out in groupies. But this blonde girl was on a class of her own! In fact, if he had to directly compare, the blonde girl's level was much higher. So it wouldn't make sense why she'd be with this guy if he was a scummy douchebag.

And wait...

Didn't she know about the rental? Weren't they looking for it together?

...

...

"Um...excuse me? Did you find the rental yet?" asked Chitoge as Shakai remained silent for several minutes.

It couldn't be true. But there was no denying it. Did such a thing really exist in reality?

A girlfriend that'd watch porn with you!

_DAMNNN YOU, COOL GUY! APOLOGIZE TO EVERY SINGLE MALE VIRGIN OUT THERE! HOW DARE YOU SUCK UP SO MUCH LUCK! It's because of luck like yours that we have shut-ins and losers that live with their parents until their 40's!_

_Hmm? There's killing intent in the air,_ thought Tsugumi. But where was it coming from? It was close...

!

"Ojou! Please stay behind me!" shouted Tsugumi, taking out her pistol and jabbing it at the clerk.

"W-What...!?" stammered Shakai. _Is that a gun!? IS THAT REALLY A GUN!?_

"Bastard! To think that you were able to hide your presence to this point...who do you work for? What's your objective!" shouted Tsugumi.

"Hey! Tsugumi! What are you doing?" said Chitoge, waving her hands frantically as customers began looking over at them. "Ahaha~ you know you shouldn't bring **toy** guns into stores!"

"It's really a toy, right!? You're not lying, right!?" said Shakai, the end of the pistol inching closer to his nose.

"Speak, you villain! How dare you try and attack Ojou!"

"Tsugumi! Knock it off already!" said Chitoge, putting on a forced smile as she tried to wrestle the pistol away. "You're making a scene-"

"Excuse me. I want to ask about a rental."

The two underclassmen from Bonyari, Boy A and Girl A, appeared at the counter, standing in between Tsugumi's pistol and Shakai's raised hands.

"No! I'm not ready! I'm not!" said Girl A, struggling to escape Boy A's grip.

"Ah, sorry. Were you ahead of us?" asked Boy A, ignoring Girl A's pummeling fists.

"Eh? Um...well..." stammered Tsugumi, thrown off by the sudden development.

"Yeah, we were already asking about a rental," said Chitoge, ripping Tsugumi's pistol away from her. She threw it casually over her shoulder and whipped her leg back, kicking the pistol into a garbage container outside.

"I see. Sorry, but could we cut in front of you? My friend is sort of cutting it close, she needs this rental as quickly as possibl-"

"NO, I DON'T! I DON'T NEED IT AT ALLL! STOMMMPPHHHGHH!"

Boy A took out a cleaning cloth and stuffed it down Girl A's mouth.

"...Is she ok?" asked Chitoge as Girl A shook her head, trying to get Boy A's hand off her mouth.

"Yeah, she's always like this," said Boy A, now taking a roll of scotch tape from his pocket and wrapped it around Girl A's head. "So, would you mind...?"

"Huh? Oh no...Go ahead. We're waiting for our friends anyways," said Chitoge, deciding that it wasn't really a big deal if they waited.

"Thank you very much. Appreciate it," said Boy A, sitting on top of Girl A and tying her hands behind her back. He stood up and faced Shakai. "Do you currently have 'Netorare Neko-chan!' available?"

"Eh?" said Shakai.

"Eh?" said Chitoge.

"You also want to rent 'Netorare Neko-chan?'" asked Tsugumi.

"Hm? Oh, that's surprising. I didn't notice earlier. You two are our upperclassmen, aren't you?" said Boy A, looking at Chitoge and Tsugumi's uniforms.

"Oh yeah! I didn't notice either. You guys are first-years?"

"Yeah. What a coincidence. We also seem to be looking to rent the same DVD," said Boy A.

"Yeah, actually it's for my friend Tsugumi here," said Chitoge.

"O-Ojou!" said Tsugumi. "T-They didn't need to know that..."

"Ohhhh! You're a fan of stuff like 'Netorare Neko-chan!'...even more surprising," said Boy A.

"I...It's a recent interest..." said Tsugumi, blushing. "I know it doesn't suit someone like me..."

"No, no. I think it suits you fine," said Boy A, looking at Tsugumi's chest critically. "Yeah, I can understand why you would be interested in this. If only my friend was as direct with her interests as you."

"Mmmpphhh! Mmmphpphh!"

"Huh? Hold on..." said Boy A, unraveling the tape from Girl A's mouth. She spat out the cloth and coughed a few times.

"H-He doesn't know what he's talking about! I don't have that kind of interest, Kirisaki-senpai! Tsugumi-senpai!"

"Eh? How do you know our names?"

"Ah...I'm sorry! Let me introduce myself. I'm actually Miyamoto-senpai's underclassman on the swim team! My name is-"

"Moving on, we would like to rent 'Netorare Neko-chan!' if you have it available."

"Wawawawa! No, don't! I don't want to rent that!"

"Ehh~ there's no need to be ashamed about that kind of stuff," said Chitoge, poking Girl A's cheek in an affectionate way. _Ruri-chan's underclassman, huh? She's so cute!_

"N-No! I really don't have any interests in that sort of thing..."

"I understand your feelings very well..." said Tsugumi, her face still burning red. "But I believe the battle has already been lost for us..."

"E...EHHHH!? W-Wait! Kirisaki and Tsugumi-senpai...are you two really ok with this sort of thing?"

"Of course we are. Don't worry about it, everyone has their likes and dislikes. Only idiots judge people for that kind of stuff," said Chitoge, nodding approvingly.

"E-Ehhh! Tsugumi-senpai..."

"...As hard as it is for me to admit it, I cannot deny that I have become ensnared by its charms..." said Tsugumi, images of adorable cats rolling around streaming through her mind.

_W-What!?_

_What is going on here!?_

Shakai looked back and forth from the Bonyari students and the computer screen. Hold on a second...were they being serious here!? This wasn't a prank or something!? This was a porno they were talking about! A porno that they were gushing about, like it was an everyday thing! Was this how modern high schoolers were like now!? No, no...this was too much of a gap! How could the moral character of the younger generation have changed so much in just the two years since he had graduated high school!?

"That...can't be...The senpais are actually ok with this kind of stuff..." said Girl A, trying to wrap her head around it.

"Waah, I think I've become a fan. Maybe I'll join the fanclubs after all..." said Boy A, applauding Tsugumi and Chitoge in a monotone fashion.

"Well, since we all want to rent it, how about we all just watch it together?" suggested Chitoge.

"W-WHAT!?" said Girl A and Shakai. _Huh__? Did this clerk just shout too...?_

"Isn't it fine?" said Chitoge, puzzled at the exclamations. "We can watch it at my house. I have a big TV at home."

"W-W-W-Watch this kind of thing at K-Ki-Kirisaki-senpai's house!?" said Girl A, steam whistling from her ears.

"A-Are you sure, Ojou?" said Tsugumi, thinking about Claude and the other Beehive members. "I think a more discreet location may be more appropriate..."

_Discreet!? You baaaasstaardd! You're going to take these two girls to a discreet location with this porno and do this and that with them!? Is that what you're saying!? _thought Shakai, flaring up again. _So lucky, you're too lucky you suave bastaarrd! Share your luck with me!_

"Well, your place is too cramped for all of us, Tsugumi."

"T-That's true..."

"Then how about we watch it at the school?" said Boy A. "The AV Club has a projector that we can use."

"Hey you! What are you thinking, watching that stuff at school!" said Girl A.

"Oh, that sounds great," said Chitoge. "But we'd need a room then, right?"

"Don't worry. I can arrange all of that," said Boy A, his glasses glinting.

"I suppose if it's after school then..." said Tsugumi, a bit unsure about all of this still.

_After school!? Now you want to make memories at the very place where your high school youth starts and ends!? Damn you! DAMNNNN YOUUU! _thought Shakai. What an amazing person. Not only was he gifted with great looks, but it was as if he could seduce destiny itself, bringing him these miraculous opportunities one after another!

"WAAAAHHHH!" cried Shakai, unable to take anymore of this. It was like being the benchwarmer on a tennis team, where all the regulars were professional-level players that continuously reached new and better heights. No matter how hard he struggled, no matter how much time he devoted, the regulars would do more. To the very end of the team's career, the benchwarmer would never be able to surpass the gleaming potential of the regulars, never be able to close the distance that they held in talent, determination, and fortune. And with each and every rejection, with each and every victory that he had to forcefully swallow and cheer on, a little more of his heart would shatter until, finally, he would realize that he was nothing compared to these regulars, that he was just a useless background character that should just quit and stop dreaming about things like Wimbledon.

"WAAAHHH! WAAAHHH!" wailed Shakai the benchwarmer.

"W-What's wrong!?" said Chitoge, taken aback by the outburst. "Hey, are you ok?"

"S-Sniff...this...this is so unfair," said Shakai, his voice muffled as he cried into his arms. "How am I supposed to compete against people like him!"

"Huh?" said the girls. They looked over at the only other boy there, Boy A.

"Are you referring to me?" said Boy A.

"No, him," said Shakai, pointing at Tsugumi.

"W-What!?" exclaimed Tsugumi, surprised. Then, realizing what he had said, her eyes narrowed in exasperation. "No...I think we have a misunderstanding. I am not a ma-"

"STOP HER! STOP THAT MONSTER!"

Ruri's voice cut through the store. Tsugumi instantly reacted, dashing in front of Chitoge. A chilling wave blew against her, or to be more exact, the heat on her body was being absorbed. A gap, a blankness in the air. The lack of a presence, a literal black hole.

"Excuse me. I would like to rent 'Netorare Neko-chan!'" said Kosaki, coming up to the counter, her glasses flashing.

"K...Kosaki-chan?" said Chitoge. Was this really Kosaki? She was so different!

"Ah, Chitoge-chan," said Kosaki, turning towards her, her facial expression unchanging. "Sorry for making you wait."

"N-No...that's ok."

"Also, Chitoge-chan. I like Ichijou-kun," said Kosaki, her straightforwardness slapping Chitoge, as if with a frying pan.

"I...Uh..." said Chitoge, unsure of how to respond. "I know, Kosaki-chan. Are you ok-"

"I'm going to win, Chitoge-chan. But I want to stay friends with you," said Kosaki.

"W-What...Kosaki-chan, you're acting really weird-"

"We'll talk more later," said Kosaki, turning back to the counter. "'Netorare Neko-chan!' please."

"...Huh? You...you want to watch it too?" said Shakai. Two more girls! And beauties too! Even if this one was a little scary! Just what was going on here!? Why did so many beautiful high school girls want this porno!?

"She's with us," said Chitoge, hugging Kosaki close.

"Actually, I just want to rent it myself. You see, Tsugumi-chan, Chitoge-chan. The truth is that the DVD that you want to rent is actually a-"

_SMACK!_

Kosaki went flying as Ruri was forced to use a leaping kick to silence her.

"Ruri-chan!?" said Chitoge.

"What a disaster..." said Ruri, panting. Fortunately, she had made it just in time. "Ehem, sorry Chitoge-chan, Tsugumi-chan. Kosaki is feeling a little off. I think she might be coming down with something. Why don't you two help her out and I'll get the DVD-"

"HOLD ON THERE!"

A loud screeching noise came from the public announcement speakers on the ceiling. Everyone in the store grimaced and covered their ears.

"Ah, sorry. I seem to be too close to the mic."

Crackling and popping noises came from the speakers as the person adjusted his mic.

"Ehem. Service desk!"

"Y-Yes!" said Shakai.

"Please bring those customers to the back room. I need to speak to them face-to-face."

The speakers clicked as the announcement finished. Shakai blinked and looked back at the Bonyari group.

"Are we in trouble...?" asked Chitoge.

"N-No...I don't see why you would be," said Shakai. That had been the manager, right? Sure, the group had been a bit rowdy just now, but it wasn't like they had been doing it in the center of the store. The service desk was out of the way and this kind of volume level wasn't infrequent, given the number of unhappy customers they had coming in with returns. Why would the manager want to meet with them?

"Please come this way..." said Shakai, deciding to follow orders for the time being. He took the lead and marched them over to the back of the store.

There, the Mitsuya manager stood waiting for them.

"Welcome," said the manager. He was a tall, lanky man with a red apron. On his head was a thick, enormous plume of black hair, a flaming red visor nestled right on top. As he came into view, the air around him seemed to shimmer with an invisible heat.

_They have come._

"Welcome, you who seek the legendary item that was forever engraved into mankind's history!" shouted the manager, his pointed finger emitting an intense pressure at them. "I, the Blazing Video Manager, shall show you the path that you must follow to reach your destination!"

His hand whipped back, the curtains behind him flowing to the side, like scarlet waves rippling through the air.

"BUT BE PREPARED! That which awaits you is not for the faint of heart! IF YOU TRULY WISH TO ACQUIRE THIS TREASURE THAT LIES BEYOND THIS ENTRANCE-"

"Yeah, let's go!" said Chitoge, blasting the manager into the wall as she charged inside.

"Ojou! Please wait for me!"

"Come on, let's go~. We can't let the senpais beat us."

"No, no! Wait a second, this is weird! This is too weird, why are we going into this back room where no one can see us-"

"Ruri-chan...my head feels funny..."

"It's ok, Kosaki. You'll feel better soon."

"Manager...do I have to go inside too?" asked Shakai, pulling the manager's head out of the wall.

"Have to? No...of course not. No one can force a man to do what he cannot. BUT!"

Flames exploded around the manager, throwing Shakai backwards.

"A TRUE MAN IS ABLE TO DO WHAT OTHERS CAN'T! THAT IS WHAT BURNING YOUTH TRULY IS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, NAKANO SHAKAI!?"

"N-No...I don't..."

The manager clapped a hand on Shakai's shoulder.

"It's fine. You will understand," said the manager. "Now go, Nakano Shakai. Become the man that you have been waiting to be."

"Uh...sir. When you said treasure earlier, you didn't mean the por-"

"Let's go, Nakano! Onwards!" said the manager, pushing Shakai through the entrance.

A moment of darkness, then light. Light that contrasted so heavily from the momentarily darkness that Shakai had to shield his eyes-

"Eh...? W-Wait...what-"

_What the hell is this!?_

* * *

**A/N:** _For the curious, JK = Joshikousei, abbreviated from Joshi koukousei, literally high school girls. JS = Joshi shougakusei, elementary school girls, and JC = Joshi chuugakusei, middle school girls. I believe that sometimes an alternate Joshikousei (Joshi kousei) is used, where the direct translation is "girl student" vs "high school girl," for porn to bypass censorship laws for minors. The alternate Joshikousei does not explicitly say the girl is a minor, but it **could** be implied. Sort of like how "teen" in porn can refer to underage teens or "eighteen" and "nineteen."  
_

_On a completely unrelated note, as strange as French dubbing sounded to me initially, I still ended up vastly preferring it to the English dub for Wakfu._**  
**


	32. HSKC 5 - The Scavenger Hunt

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Part Five_

* * *

Chitoge dashed past the red curtains. Today was turning to out to be a great day! Even though she had been in Bonyari for almost two years already, it didn't change the fact that she had been forced to spend most of that time with the beansprout. Not that she really minded that much anymore, but she still wanted to have days off with her friends. Sure, there were times where she went out with Kosaki and Ruri-chan to try out some new places to eat; Tsugumi and Paula were always hanging around the mansion; and she didn't see much of Marika, but that wasn't a bad thing!

But this was different. This was something they could all do together! Kosaki, Ruri, Tsugumi, Ruri's underclassman-

A big girl's night! Not some group event centered around that beansprout! A real get-together with good girlfriends. It was the kind of thing her youth was sorely missing due to the presence of the Beehive gang members. Plus there was no Marika!

"Ehehe~ I'll make Claude go buy food so he doesn't interfere and then we'll go watch the movie and then maybe have a slumber party and we can talk about all sorts of girls' stuff-"

Hm? What could they talk about? Ah, what about that new cafe that had opened where that cakery had used to be across from Kosaki's store! Or that family restaurant with the cake buffet near the station. Or WAIT! The curry truck that just started its business near the park!

_Hmm...it's all about food, isn't it? Isn't there something more girly we could talk about...?_ thought Chitoge. Maybe fashion. Or TV idols? Chitoge scratched her head. Hold on a second. That wasn't all there was, right? There was more interesting stuff to talk about, right?

A scary thought passed through Chitoge's mind. Hmm? HMM? Could it be...that maybe...she wasn't that girl-

No, no! She was just overreacting. A girl's night wasn't something forced and pre-planned like this! It was just a time where girlfriends got together and had fun! Yeah, she didn't need to think much about it. Besides, she always had fun with the girls; it'd just happen naturally, right?

"Yeah, that's it! We'll be fine. We won't end up playing shiritori all night or something!" said Chitoge.

"Chitoge-chan."

"Ah, but maybe some other party game would be fun...I know! I have Monopoly! Yeah, we can play Monopoly and then we can make a midnight snack-"

"Chitoge-chan!"

"Hmm, I guess we can't talk about who we like since we all like Raku. But we don't know about Ruri-chan's yet..."

"CHITOGE-CHAN!"

"I was just kidding, Ruri-chan..." said Chitoge, looking up. But Ruri wasn't looking at her. She was looking out ahead, into the room that they had just entered-

An enormous chamber. So large that it could've been a theater. The wall and floors were smooth hardwood and the only lights were from dim lamps on the walls.

But what Ruri was pointing at wasn't this enormous room in the back of a local Mitsuya. Instead, it was at the crowd that had gathered inside the room.

Fifty? Eighty? No, the number was easily over a hundred. Every available space in this room was taken up by people. In this dim light, it was like being at the ocean. The people moved in shapeless waves and the drone of idle conversation splashed into the air.

"What's with all these people?" said Chitoge.

"Indeed. To think that there would be so many people in the back of a video rental store," said Tsugumi, eyes quickly scanning the room. "Huh!? Those are-!"

Tsugumi jumped in front of Chitoge, reaching into her blazer to pull out her pistol.

"Huh? It's not ther...ah! From before..."

"Tsugumi, what's wrong?" said Chitoge, surprised at her sudden movement.

"Ojou. We are in danger right now," said Tsugumi, tapping her wrist. A small concealable pistol popped out from inside her sleeve.

"Danger? From what?" said Chitoge, her expression becoming serious.

"Just ahead of us in the crowd, there are enemy members from the Seccaccino family!"

"Eh...? Seccaccino? Who's that...?"

"Wait...it's not just the Seccaccino Family!?" said Tsugumi. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, she was able to recognize more and more faces.

Further into the crowd, she could see members from Char Siu! And those to the right were clearly from Dollars! Wait a minute...were those people from the Vongola Family!?

And not just hitmen. There were international forces here too! Agents from Nonbeeri Kingdom. The United States Secret Service! The...Bonyari baseball club?

The more she looked around, the more she became confused. Tsugumi couldn't understand why there were so many people from so many organizations in this single location.

The manager had brought them here because of 'Netorare Neko-chan!', right? But these people couldn't all be here for a measly DVD about cats...

"Eh...? What? What's going on, Ruri-chan?" said Kosaki. Her head was feeling woozy and it was all she could do to keep herself balanced by clinging to Ruri's sleeve.

"Kosaki! You're back to normal now?"

"Normal? Did something happen to me?" said Kosaki, inspecting herself. "Huh? Why am I wearing your glasses?"

"...If you don't remember, it's fine," said Ruri, taking back her glasses. She was glad that Kosaki had returned to her old self. To be honest, although she always badgered Kosaki to be more aggressive, the straightforward Kosaki had been more frightening than she had anticipated.

"Eh!? Why are there so many people here!?" said Kosaki as her vision returned to normal.

"That's a good questio-"

"Oh? Oh? What's this?"

A taunting voice came from their left side.

"If it isn't the Beehive daughter and her bodyguard," said the lanky, blonde man that approached them. He was flanked on both sides by two wide bodyguards with shaved heads. "How nice to see you two here."

"Who's that?" said Chitoge.

"I'm not sure, Ojou..."

"Sorry, we don't know who you are," said Chitoge. "Ruri-chan, did you know your underclassman was here? She was with us just a second ago..."

"Eh? Really? I didn't see her..."

"Your underclassman? Ah, the one from the swim team? We should go look for her then, Ruri-chan. We can't leave her alone when there's so many people around," said Kosaki.

"You're right, Kosaki. Ok, let's go look for her."

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" shouted the blonde man, stomping his foot. "Stop ignoring us!"

"What?" said Chitoge, looking back at him with disdain. "We told you that we don't know you."

"Feigning ignorance, Beehive? Or perhaps you understand that you're in the presence of a higher power," said the blonde man, sneering.

"What did you say?" said Tsugumi, her eyes sharpening into knives.

"So this is the famous 'Black Tiger', eh? Not very impressive in the flesh," said the blonde man, brushing his bangs from his eyes. "What do you think, boys?"

"A real twig, Boss," said the bodyguard on the right, laughing.

"Never seen such a girly-looking man," said the bodyguard on the left.

Tsugumi's face flushed red as she trembled with anger.

"Do you have some kind of business with us?" said Chitoge forcefully, glaring at the men.

"No, not really. We don't usually fraternize with low-level organizations," said the blonde man. "I just wanted to save you some time and effort. After all, it is us, the Coccinella Family, that will claim the rare treasure here."

"Ehh...? You guys want 'Netorare Neko-chan!' at your age...?" said Chitoge, eying the Coccinellas. "...That's sort of disgusting."

"W-What do you mean at our age! This is perfectly normal!" said the blonde man, stomping his foot again. "As expected of the daughter of a brutish organization like Beehive. You don't understand how things are in the upper echelons of society!"

"Huh!? What are you talking about? Ask anyone you want! It's weird to see full-grown men watching stuff like this!" said Chitoge, inching away from the Coccinellas.

"No, it's not!"

"Yeah, it is! Weirdos! Gross old guys!"

"Khhh...hold your tongue, you tasteless tramp!" said the blonde man. "Boys, teach them a lesson about how the world works!"

The bodyguards grunted and stepped forward, cracking their knuckles.

"I don't know the Coccinella Family, but step any closer and you'll become enemies to the Beehive," said Tsugumi, raising her mini-pistol.

"Heh. And what's a girly-looking kid like you going to do?" said one of the bodyguards.

"I'm not girly-looking, I am a gir-!"

"ENOOUUUGGH!"

There was an explosion between the Coccinella and Tsugumi. The manager appeared, his entire figure wrapped in blazing flames.

"Save your strength, Coccinella Family," said the manager. His burning eyes fixed onto them. "THE BATTLE HAS YET TO BEGIN, YOU FOOLS!"

"Tch..." said the blonde man, retreating. "We won't forget this, Beehive!"

"Bleh!" said Chitoge, sticking her tongue out.

"I'm sorry for the disturbance. Some of the guests seem a bit overeager," said the manager.

"No, they're just jerks," said Chitoge. "But thanks for helping us."

"Of course. It is my duty as the manager," said the manager, bowing. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm sure you are all curious to know what this is all about. If you would like to follow me, I shall explain everything."

"Chitoge-chan," said Ruri, realizing that a chance was here. "Kosaki and I will go look for my underclassman. We'll call you after we find her."

"Eh? You don't want to look together?"

"No, we'll look by ourselves. You and Tsugumi want to rent the DVD, right? It's probably better if you follow the manager."

"...I guess you're right. Ok, we'll see you later, Ruri-chan, Kosaki-chan."

"If you'll come this way," said the manager. Chitoge and Tsugumi followed him into the crowd, separating from Ruri and Kosaki.

"Ruri-chan, what are you doing? Isn't this bad? What if they find out that the DVD is a p-p...that kind of video!" whispered Kosaki.

"No, that's exactly what we want, Kosaki," said Ruri, her glasses glinting. "I didn't expect this DVD to become such a big deal. So we needed a change of plans."

"What do you mean?"

"Our objective was to make sure that Tsugumi and Chitoge didn't find out that they were trying to rent a porno. The only reason I didn't tell them it was a porno from the beginning is because it was the easiest way for me to force you to watch that porno."

"No way! Are you serious, Ruri-chan!"

"But there's no point in that anymore," said Ruri. "There's just too many people going after this DVD. We can always rent some other porno. So now, we just need to have Tsugumi and Chitoge-chan realize that 'Netorare Neko-chan!' is actually a porno."

"Then why didn't we just tell the-"

"Because, it'd be embarrassing if they found out in front of us! It's better this way, Kosaki," said Ruri. "There's a high chance that the manager will say something that'll make them realize it's a porno. It's better if they find out just by themselves."

"Ruri-chan..." said Kosaki, a little surprised. Ruri usually wasn't a fan of these sort of roundabout methods. Ruri noticed Kosaki's stare and looked away.

"They're important friends to me too..." said Ruri. Kosaki felt a rush of affection for her best friend.

"Ruri-chan!" said Kosaki, hugging her.

"Nnnggh..." mumbled Ruri, trying to hide her reddening face. "Anyways, you were right before, Kosaki. We need to find my underclassman if she really is here..."

Suddenly, a bright light lit up the darkness, revealing a massive stage in the center of the room.

In the crowd, Chitoge and Tsugumi shielded their eyes as the light turned on.

"Now, I shall take my leave," said the manager, having taken them up all the way to the front of the stage. "Please ask my assistant here any other questions you may have."

There was a flash of flames and a confused Shakai seemed to appear from nowhere.

"Eh? Eh? Where am I!?"

"Oh, you're the clerk from earlier," said Chitoge.

"Ah...yes..." said Shakai, flustered at the sudden proximity to Chitoge. "M-My name is Nakano Shakai. I work here at the Mitsuya."

"I'm Kirisaki Chitoge. Nice to meet you," said Chitoge, smiling.

"Y-Yes...nice to meet you..." said Shakai in a dazed way. _So beautiful..._

The manager flipped into the air and landed on the stage.

"Welcome, valued customers!" shouted the manager. "If I could please have your attention!"

The noise in the room slowly died down. The manager cleared his throat.

"I would like to first say that Mitsuya is thankful for your continued patronage. Please know that we are currently holding a 25% sale on all foreign releases from the year 2014. Now, this does not include exclusive or seasonal materials, so be warned that-"

"Get on with it!"

"I refuse!" shouted the manager, lashing his finger out at the crowd. "In our society, the duties of the working man hold the highest order of priority! Without the determination of man, society crumbles! Answer me, you faceless person from the crowd! Do you value nothing but your own self!?"

The person from the crowd was struck speechless, as if by lightning. What a question! Was it true? That his outburst of impatience had actually been selfishness that overshadowed the well-being of the general public!? Yes...it was true that he could always just wait a few more minutes. He could endure silence and listen to the sales pitch of a local video store manager. After all, the manager was only doing his job!

The person from the crowd fell to his knees. How shamefully he had acted! He wasn't the kind of person that belittled someone just for doing their best in society! No, that was the viewpoint of a tyrannical overlord, of someone that didn't appreciate the blood and sweat that went into ensuring that a bowl of freshly steamed rice would be sitting at the table every morning!

"I was in the wrong..." said the person from the crowd, tears streaming down his face.

"No, you were simply misguided by the darkness in your heart," said the manager, turning away. The person in the crowd clenched his eyes shut. What a person, this Blazing Video Manager! To show not only mercy, but also respect to his opponent!

"It is my loss! Ask whatever you want of me!" said the person from the crowd.

"Our historical drama sales have flagged 55% for the past two fiscal quarters!"

"I WILL BUY YOUR ENTIRE STOCK!"

And so a five-minute break was granted so that the sale could be made.

"Now then, back to business," said the manager, getting back up onto the stage. "You all know what you are here for today!"

The legendary DVD that can only be found in this Mitsuya-

**NETORARE NEKO-CHAN!**

A deafening cheer came from the crowd.

"Wow...they are a lot of people that want this p- DVD..." said Kosaki, unsure of how to feel about that fact.

"Lecherous scumbags," said Ruri, eyes full of contempt.

"Jeez! Ruri-chan, you're no better!"

"I can't believe this. What's so good about this porno? The number of people here is ridiculous."

Kosaki and Ruri looked to their right to see a little girl wearing a labcoat standing besides them.

"Eh...?"

"What-"

"Hm?" The labcoat girl looked back at them. "What...Onodera Kosaki and Miyamoto Ruri!?"

"The little girl!?" said Kosaki and Ruri together.

"Then that means..." said Ruri, looking up.

A group of men wearing black suits and sunglasses were standing behind the labcoat girl.

"Boss, can we take these sunglasses off? I can't see a thing..."

"That's why I told you to buy photochromic glasses! Damn idiots," said the labcoat girl, shaking her head.

"W-What are you doing here...?" said Kosaki.

"Hah? Isn't it obvious?" said the labcoat girl. "For the same thing you are. The porno."

"N-No! I-It's not like that! We're not here for a p-p...that kind of video!" said Kosaki.

"Heh? Then why are you here? Checking out the sights?" said the labcoat girl, smirking. "Well, I'm not actually here for the porno either. One of these idiots told me he _had_ to come..."

"But it's 'Netorare Neko-chan!', Boss! No one's seen it for decades!"

"I heard that only one copy was made in the entire world," said one of the black suits.

"Wait...did porno DVDs even exist decades ago...?" said another black suit.

"It's remastered from a VHS-"

"No, no, it was on Betamax-"

"Are you guys idiots? It was obviously on slide projectors-"

"In any case!" said the labcoat girl, silencing the black suits with a glare. "That's how it is."

"You also have a lot of problems of your own, huh?" said Ruri sympathetically.

"Ehem," said the manager, after silence returned. "Continuing on from where I left off-"

The light narrowed until only a faint spotlight was lit on the manager.

"Valued customers...surely you have heard of legendary videotapes that are so old that only a handful still have readable magnetic tapes...or exclusive DVD/Blu-Ray sets that can no longer be found except on eBay or Mandrake."

"Why are they packaging the OST in parts with the Blu-ray volumes!? I didn't hear about this! How am I supposed to listen to the BGM tracks in my Mazda now!"

"The truth is that the advent of streaming video and online media access has hurt video rental stores all across the world! Even in the great land of America, adult video stores are in ruin! Physical copies are for the niche of the niche! JAPAN IS THE LAST HAVEN FOR A SUSTAINABLE PHYSICAL MEDIA INDUSTRY FOR PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIALS!" shouted the manager.

"What the hell are you talking about! They've already removed adult magazines from convenience stores!"

"Are you serious!? This an outrage! What am I supposed to have as my side dish with my daily riceball now, you bastards!"

"Customers, we don't have anything to do with adult magazine policies-"

"It's all because of expansion, damn it! Not only with our lands, but also with our store aisles! This is the problem with trying to have a modern civilization on a fucking island!"

"Don't be stupid! It's globalization! All those prudes from Britain or whatever are trying to bully us with their stupid foreign policy-"

"Don't you think it's because of where they put the adult magazines? What am I supposed to say when I get a boner right next to a popular middle school girls' fashion magazine!"

"No one wants to hear about your damn boners! Where the hell is 'Netorare Neko-chan!'"

"Yeah, we came here to hear about 'Netorare Neko-chan!', not the state of the porn industry!"

"I was getting to that point!" said the manager, raising his hands for silence. "However, a product of this magnitude requires the proper respect!"

"W-Why are they talking about p-p-porn?" said Chitoge, blushing.

"I-I don't know, Ojou," said Tsugumi, her face equally red. "B-but it looks like the manager is getting back on track..."

"Valued customers! 'Netorare Neko-chan!' was created solely for the Japanese audience! If it wasn't for some outrageous obscenity charges, 'Netorare Neko-chan!' would've been a national treasure! Only a single copy of this legendary item exists in all of the world!"

"Ever since its release, 'Netorare Neko-chan!' could only be found in this very location! It was here, where a local video rental store used to stand, that I, as the manager of this current Mitsuya, inherited the legendary disc and the right for its distribution!"

"But possession of such an incredible item made me suffer. For days and nights, I struggled to find a way to properly handle this item in my store. I didn't dare release it to the eyes of the general public! No, it had to be kept safe and hidden...away from devious hands."

"UNTIL NOW!" roared the manager, flames blasting from his body. "After careful consideration, I have brought all of you here to partake in a journey that thousands before you have traveled in order to obtain the great treasure that is 'Netorare Neko-chan!' BEHOLD!"

The manager swung his arms back, revealing a giant, black screen standing vertically behind him.

"Yes...it is on this ancient tablet that the secrets given to me by the previous owner are currently stored!"

"Isn't that a Googol Nexus 100!? What ancient tablet are you talking about!?"

"Yes...the secrets are here!" said the manager, showing the tablet's back side to reveal a tablet cover made of stone.

"It's still on a _tablet!_"

"Now, look closely, valued customers! Here, on this stone tablet cover, are the directions to the hidden spot where 'Netorare Neko-chan!' is currently being kept!"

"Directions...!? Hold on a second, are you saying 'Netorare Neko-chan!' isn't here!?"

"Fufufu, OF COURSE NOT! Why would I risk putting a UNIQUE, LEGENDARY ITEM IN A ROOM FULL OF ORGANIZED HUNTERS? No, valued customers, obtaining 'Netorare Neko-chan!' is not so easy a task! Past owners of the DVD had to follow the same path as you are, armed with only their wits, guts, determination, and the information on this stone tablet cove-"

_Click!_

The room went silent as the sound of a camera shutter interrupted the manager's words.

"You got it?" said the labcoat girl.

"Yeah, Boss! Nice and clear, 20 megapixel image."

"20 megapixels, that's one hell of a phone!"

"Shut up and get to it!" ordered the labcoat girl. The black suit nodded and pulled out a rocket launcher.

"Wait...just what do you think you're doing!?" shouted the manager.

"Isn't it obvious?" said the labcoat girl, grinning. "Securing victory."

_BANG!_

The manager threw himself off the stage, the missile streaking over his head and into the tablet-

The explosion hurtled a reactionary force so strong that Chitoge and Tsugumi were blasted off their feet. Pieces of singed plastic showered onto the crowd.

"AAHHHHH! THEY DESTROYED THE TABLET!"

"WHO WAS IT!? WHO WAS THE IDIOT THAT DID THAT!?"

"How am I supposed to get 'Netorare Neko-chan!' now!?"

"Oho, looks like it's time to make our getaway," said the labcoat girl. She drew a handful of pellets from her pocket and threw them at the ground. Smoke rushed through the room, blinding everyone in the vicinity.

"Wawawawa!" squealed Kosaki as she was lifted into the air.

"W-What are you doing!" said Ruri as the black suits ran off with Kosaki and her slung over their shoulders.

"Kirisaki Chitoge is one thing, but you two won't survive long on your own," said the labcoat girl. "We might as well take you along."

"No, but we're not here for 'Netorare Neko-chan!'" said Kosaki.

"I know that. You two aren't the type to buy pornos. But that was never your reason for being here, right?" said the labcoat girl.

_Eh? Wait...the manager never said that the DVD was a porno! That means Chitoge and Tsugumi-chan are still going to try and rent it, doesn't it?_

Kosaki exchanged glances with Ruri. The labcoat girl was right. Their mission wasn't over yet.

But...how?

How had she known about that? Kosaki felt a small chill run down her spine. It was just like during the Bonyari Invasion. Kosaki felt like this little girl knew things about her that even she didn't know herself.

"Well, just leave it to me!" said the labcoat girl as they rushed out of the back room and into the store. The other customers gave cries of surprise as a little girl and a small army of black suits carrying two high school girls rushed past. Then, the customers ran out of the store in a complete panic as a stampede of what seemed like a hundred random people came charging out.

"THERE THEY ARE! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!"

"STOP! 'NETORARE NEKO-CHAN!' BELONGS TO NEO VONGOLA PRIMO!"

"Don't think you can get away with this! There are a hundred of us and only like...one, two, three...SEVEN OF YOU GU-"

The stampede came to a halt outside the store as the entire entrance was covered in shadow-

A hot-air balloon was rising into the sky, carrying the Black Suit group away.

"WHAT IS THIS, LUPIN THE THIRD!?"

"Kosaki-chan! Ruri-chan!"

Chitoge and Tsugumi came out of the back room, coughing from the smoke.

"Where did they go?" said Chitoge, looking around the empty store.

Tsugumi ran out to where the crowd had gathered outside. Her sharp eyes spotted the hot-air balloon and the possibility struck her mind.

_It can't be...but it's also the kind of thing that happens in this sort of situation-_

Tsugumi reached into her blazer and pulled out a sniper scope-

"Miyamoto-senpai! Kirisaki-senpai!"

Girl A cried out as she was bumped left and right by the frothing crowd. Where was everyone?

"Over here!"

A hand reached out for her. Girl A grabbed it and was pulled out of the crowd.

"Th...Thank you..." said Girl A, gasping to catch her breath. "Uhm...I'm looking for someone with glasses and a ponytail? I was wondering if you'd seen the-"

"It looks like Ruri-chan's in safe hands. But wow, I have to hand it to them. That was quite an escape."

_Eh...?_

Girl A recognized that voice. She looked up, seeing that familiar spiky blonde hair and glasses-

"S-Senpai!?"

"Hey! It's been a while, hasn't it?" said Maiko Shu.

* * *

**A/N: **_It's probably confusing seeing "video" and "DVD" being used interchangeably. But "video" is the term for physical media like that, so I'll probably end up using "video" to refer to stuff like that in general, while "videotape" will be used for VHS._


	33. HSKC 6 - Trouble in Bonyari

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Part Six  
_

* * *

Chaos in the Bonyari shopping district.

_Just what is going on!?_ The thought rampaged through those passing by, through those working, through those just coincidentally present for the moment.

An amazing thing had happened at that moment. A massive flood of people had come roaring out of the local Mitsuya. As large as Mitsuya might be in comparison to some of the other local stores, it was still a strange sight to see such an incredible number of people pour out into the open streets. It was like a rally or a mob.

Yes, perhaps a mob would be the best explanation. After all, some of these people looked dangerous! Hold on a second, were those people swinging around aluminum bats!? Wait, wait, did that person just pull out an automatic rifle!?

Chitoge's eyes flicked back and forth. There were so many people. She couldn't find them. Not a single hint.

"Tsugumi! Did you find Kosaki and Ruri-chan!?"

"That is..." said Tsugumi as she approached. She turned and looked back up at the sky. "Ojou...Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama are currently on that hot air balloon."

"What!? No way, what are they doing up there!?"

"It's the Black Suits, Ojou," said Tsugumi gravely. Chitoge flinched at her response. "I'm sure of it. I was able to see them with the sniper scope. They currently have Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama in their possession."

"It can't be...they're targeting Kosaki and Ruri-chan this time?" said Chitoge. But was that really the case? Hadn't they reached an understanding last time? But the scale of this commotion...it was definitely the sort of thing they would cause...

"Ah! We can still call them!" said Chitoge, taking out her cell phone.

"Do you think they'll be able to answer?"

"That's what we'll find out," said Chitoge. "If those guys are up to something again..."

Her eyes hardened as the dial tone went off. If that was the case...this time...

_Click._

"Chitoge-chan?"

Kosaki's gentle voice answered.

"Kosaki-chan! Are you ok?" yelled Chitoge into the phone.

"Y-Yeah...we're ok."

"Are you with the Black Suits? What are they doing with you?"

"That's...uhm...it's kind of complicated-"

Kosaki's voice was cut off as a roaring explosion crackled from the phone's speakers.

"What are you doing, you idiot!? Don't shoot so close to the burner, you'll ignite the propane!'

"DAMN BRAT! DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE RISING DRAGOAAAAAGGGH!"

Another roar of static.

"Kosaki-chan? Kosaki-chan, what's going on over there?" said Chitoge, clenching the phone to her ear.

"Trying to board us, are you? You're pretty damn arrogant, thinking you can just waltz into our basket!"

"N-No, don't! I wasn't...I mean, I just kinda landed here! Yeah, it was my partner, he kicked me out of the plane! I'm serious, I'm just an innocent victim!"

"Oh? You poor thing."

"Wait! WAIT, DON'T STEP ON MY F-AAGGH! AAAAHHH!"

"How's that, you worm! Can you feel the pebbles stuck in the ridges of my rubber sole!?"

"OWWW! It's grazing my knuckles! AAUGGHHH, it burns! It burns...so good..."

"Hah? What are you, WAH! W-Where do you think you're touching!?"

"BOSS! You bastard! What do you think you're doing to Boss's loli ankles!?"

"Haahh, haahh. The grazes on my skin sting...it feels so stimulating! More...MORE!"

"LET GO OF MY LEG, YOU DISGUSTING FREAK!"

"AHHH! That sharp glare that makes me feel like I'm worse than a scuttling cockroach! LOOK AT ME MORE WITH THOSE DISGUSTED EYESSS!"

"R-Ruri-chan! No, you can't kick him off, he'll die if he falls from here!"

"Kosaki, this world's better off without that kind of nauseating trash-"

"Wait, Miyamoto Ruri! Don't let your repulsed aura spread ou-"

"WAAHH!"

"RURI-CHAN!"

Crackle. Pop. The sound of distant gunfire. Another explosion. And then the return of Onodera Kosaki's voice-

"Chitoge-chan, I'll call you back, ok?"

_Click._

The call ended with a few short beeps. Tsugumi looked at Chitoge questioningly.

"How was it, Ojou? Are Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama safe?"

Chitoge's head turned slowly, her lips twisted into a twitching smile.

"...I don't know."

"Huh!? What do you mean by that?"

"A-Anyways, we still need to catch up with them, Tsugumi," said Chitoge, pocketing her phone. "Do you know which direction they were headed in?"

"I'm sorry, Ojou. I lost track of them once the crowd filled the streets," said Tsugumi, bowing her head shamefully. "However, if they are using a regular hot-air balloon with that many people, they should not be able to go very far."

"It didn't sound like they were trying to hurt Kosaki or Ruri-chan. But then why would they kidnap them?" said Chitoge.

"As far as I can tell, it was the Black Suits that took a picture of the stone tablet in the Mitsuya," said Tsugumi. "It could be possible that they intend to use Onodera and Miyamoto-sama for something related to that."

"The stone tablet...ah! I know why!" said Chitoge, a lightbulb blinking above her head. "Tsugumi, you've seen it movies, right? Those kind of tablets always have inscriptions in a foreign language that reveal the location of the treasure!"

"Y-Yes...I suppose so. But what does that have to do with..."

"They must have been aiming for Ruri-chan," said Chitoge. "Kosaki told me that Ruri-chan's dream is to be a translator!"

"I see! Perhaps they took Onodera-sama hostage in order to gain Miyamoto-sama's cooperation."

"Tch. That brat is being awkward again," said Chitoge, remembering back to the Bonyari Invasion. In the end, that entire battle had been some sort of misunderstanding. Having fought one-on-one with the labcoat girl, having felt the weight of her punches directly on her skin, Chitoge had felt the ring of truth in her words. That she really had been trying to save the world. However, after the battle had ended, the labcoat girl and her lackeys had just retreated without a proper explanation.

"But why are they after 'Netorare Neko-chan' too...? It sure is popular..." mused Chitoge.

"Ojou, if we do not hurry, we may lose their trail completely."

"You're right. We'll think about this later. Let's go, Tsugumi!"

* * *

In the skies above Bonyari-

"W-What's going on!?"

The cry of a young maiden traveling by hot-air balloon. Onodera Kosaki sat with her arms covering her head as explosions seemed to boom all around her.

"Ugh. We finally got that rid of that damn masochist," said the labcoat girl, furiously wiping her hands on her coat.

"Boss! Enemy in the distance!" yelled one of the black suits.

"More of them? They just don't quit, do they?" said the labcoat girl, leaning over the basket. Kosaki and Ruri lifted their heads up cautiously.

The air above them hissed as something flew past them at high speed.

"What's this? Just a few girls and some muscleheads! Looks like easy prey, eh?"

The high-speed object swooped in a loop around them, appearing on their rear side.

A jetpack! There were men with jetpacks chasing after them!

"Allow me to introduce myself! I am the Boss of the Iron Talons, the ultimate international criminal organization that rules the skies! Falcons or military jets, there's nothing that we fear under the sun! We fly freely and with just a single purpose!"

"And what's that?" said the labcoat girl. "To pay for all the fuel you're using?"

"H-How did you know...!?" shouted one of the jetpack pilots.

"Even people in the skies have trouble with the economy, huh...?" said one of the black suits mournfully.

"Heh! Rulers of the skies? Come at me then," said the labcoat girl, smirking maliciously. ""I'll show you why Icarus fell to his death."

"You have guts, brat. But there's a difference between the Iron Talons and Icarus," said the Iron Talons leader, squeezing the trigger on his right hand.

Two missile launchers extended from his jetpack.

"Release the vents, now! All of them!" shouted the labcoat girl. The vents in the hot-air balloon opened, releasing the hot air in the envelope. The balloon began to descend.

"Too slow!" shouted the Iron Talons leader, squeezing the trigger on his left hand. Two missiles launched and flew at the hot-air balloon.

"Eh...? What's that?" said Kosaki, peeking over the basket.

"Kosaki! Get down!"

Ruri pulled Kosaki back and tried to shield her friend's body.

"Hey, Miyamoto Ruri."

The labcoat girl grinned down at the two of them.

"I said leave it to me, didn't I?"

The two missiles exploded as a barrage of other missiles collided with them.

"H-Huh!? What just happened!?" shouted the Iron Talons leader.

"Ah...sorry, Boss. I fired my missiles."

"Me too..."

"I thought we were all shooting at them."

"You morons! Why would you fire when I had them perfectly in my sights!? Do you know how much those missiles cost!? Who fired their missiles!?"

Hands were raised among the group of jetpack pilots.

"One, two, three, four..."

"Payback, you noisy birds!" said the labcoat girl. She jammed her foot onto the edge of the basket and fired the rocket launcher.

"WAH!"

The rocket narrowly missed the Iron Talons leader.

"You bitch! Wait a minute...you guys were the ones that blew up the tablet!?"

"EHHH!?"

The cry of the entire Iron Talons group.

"Boss, you didn't know!?"

"Huh? Wait...was I supposed to know that? Hey! Why are all of you suddenly looking at me with those pitiful eyes!?"

"So noisy," said the labcoat girl. "Hey, Onodera Kosaki, Miyamoto Ruri. Why don't you help out?"

"Eh?"

A rocket launcher fell into Kosaki's lap.

"EHHH!?"

Kosaki was surprised to find the rocket launcher was lighter than she expected. However, she trembled as she lifted up the weapon.

"U-Um...I-I think w-we'll pass...right, Ruri-chan?"

Kosaki looked to Ruri with a pleading expression. But Ruri was already beside the labcoat girl, firing her rocket launcher.

"Ruri-chan!"

"Oh, you've got a good eye, Miyamoto Ruri."

"You're not half-bad either, little girl."

"Call me Boss."

"Never."

_Why? Why's everyone so relaxed about shooting rocket launchers?_

That was Kosaki's thought as a black suit helped her start firing her rocket at the Iron Talons.

"WAHAHAHA!"

The labcoat girl's wild laughter echoed as a storm of rockets went flying at the Iron Talons.

"Damn it! Damn it!"

The Iron Talons leader cursed as he swerved left and right. His comrades fired missiles to intercept the endless barrage from the hot-air balloon.

"Damn it...DAMN IT!" roared the Iron Talons leader. "Stop...!"

"WAHAHAHA! WAHAHAHA!" said the labcoat girl, throwing one empty rocket launcher after another out of the basket.

"Stop...STOP IT!"

"WAHAHAHAHA!"

A shower of rocket launchers was falling into the streets of Bonyari.

"STOP SHOWING OFF, YOU BBIIIITCCCHHH!" shouted the Iron Talons leader, weeping at the sheer amount of cash being flung at them.

"JEALOUS, YOU STUPID BIRD?!"

"WAAAGGGHH! Yeah, that's right! I'm jealous! I'm so damn jealous, you stupid little girl! How can you afford all of those rockets!?"

"That's why you're all just small-fry!" said the labcoat girl, shoving her middle finger at them.

"DAAAMNNN YOUU! Fire everything! I don't care where, JUST SHOOT EVERYTHING WE HAVE!"

"But Boss, our savings!"

"S-SHUT UP! You think we can step down from a challenge like this and still call ourselves men of the skies!? FIRE EVERYTHING! YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION!"

"BOSS!" cried the Iron Talons.

"Uuuu...just do it already, damn it!" said the Iron Talons leader, crying rivers from his eyes.

The labcoat girl dumped an entire crate of rockets over the edge of the basket.

"WAAAAHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOINNNNGG!?"

The Iron Talons leader dove straight for the rockets.

"BOSS!"

"DON'T LET THEM FALL! THOSE ARE 20,000 YEN A ROUND!"

* * *

Meanwhile, down on the streets of Bonyari-

"Fufufu. As expected of the Iron Talons. Diverted by such a simple strategy."

Roaring down the streets, a gunmetal black, four-wheel drive, light sports utility vehicle!

Better known as THE STEEL BOAR CUSTOM manufactured by NOT-JEEP!

"But no matter! For we, the Steel Boars, will succeed where our adversaries failed!"

The leader of the Steel Boars stands straight and tall in the driver's seat with his arms folded!

"Leader, please drive properly!"

"FUFUFU! Don't underestimate me, newbie! I, the leader of the Steel Boars, can do such a simple task without the use of my hands. Behold! I am controlling this vehicle perfectly with just my kneecaps!"

"No, you're not!"

The Steel Boar Custom veered onto the sidewalk, blasting through bushes and advertisement signs. The pedestrians of Bonyari shouted in alarm and dove out of the way.

"We're finally in position. Newbie, take the wheel for a moment."

"I've already been holding onto the wheel! But your kneecaps keep steering us into the sidewalk! Please hurry up and get off!"

"Boys, take a look. This is the fruit of all the hard work we've accomplished in the past three weeks since the Steel Boars were established."

"Only three weeks!? You guys said this was a time-worn organization with generations of history behind it! And why are there so many people in the back seats!?"

The twenty members of the Steel Boars cheered as the Leader stood over a massive cloth-covered object.

"Is it finally time, Leader!?"

"You've finally done it, Leader!?"

"Yeah, that's right. I've finally done it," said the Leader, chuckling smugly. "Our influence and prestige has finally reached the point where I was able to funnel all of our funds into this ultimate device!"

"All of your funds!? Wait, you guys are totally broke!?"

"Watch carefully, you punks! This is the latest addition to our undefeatable Steel Boar Custom!"

The cloth covering was torn off and thrown into the street-

"THE STEEL BOAR CUSTOM VULCAN GATLING GUN! A twelve-barreled, air-cooled, rotary cannon that can fire over 7000 rounds per minute!"

"IS THAT EVEN LEGAL TO HAVE INSTALLED ONTO A NOT-JEEP!?"

"Listen up, men! With this ultimate weapon, even the sky can no longer stand against us! No...EVEN THE MOON WILL BE CONQUERED."

"Hold on a second, even if it's a gatling gun, I don't think the bullets can reach that high up!"

"Alright, guys! Let's rock and roll!" shouted the Leader, switching the gatling gun on. The heavy twelve barrels began their rotation, emanating a high-pitched whirr.

"NGGGGG!"

The Leader grunted with effort as he tried to aim the heavy cannon towards the hot-air balloon.

"You can do it, Leader!"

"I believe in you, Leader!"

"Why don't you guys help him instead of just cheering him on!?"

"Newbie. It's perfectly fine to accept help from others when you need to. But sometimes, a man has to take matters into his own hands...no, rather, there are certain matters that must be done solely through one's own strength."

"I agree with you, but clearly your strength isn't enough!"

Pulling at the gatling gun with all of his weight, Leader's head was hanging over the side of the Steel Boar Custom.

"For goodness sake...someone take the wheel! I'll help the Leader!" said the newbie.

"I don't know how to drive this thing..."

"I don't think I have a license to operate a Not-Jeep."

"I'm not wearing my glasses today."

"Stop making excuses, you bastards!"

A rocking crash! Suddenly, the Steel Boar Custom was flung with enough force to knock it onto only two wheels!

"W-What's going on!? What was that!?"

Newbie jerked the steering wheel, forcing the Not-Jeep back into a stable position. As the tires made contact with the road again with a jolting bump, the force that had nearly flipped them came into view.

"You've got balls, don't ya...breaking traffics laws and waving around illegal armaments in broad daylight."

Black! The oppressive aura that spilled from the driver was monstrous!

"W-Who...who are you!?"

"Ah? Me?"

It was like a tiger looking down on a shivering rabbit. A demon-like face with a stitched-up scar on the left eye. Hair that rippled through blacks, grays, and whites.

What sort of group could have such a frightening member!?

"I'm the Bonyari Police Chief, you bastard," said Tachibana Marika's father, his eyes spewing black flames.

Newbie was filled with so much shock that his face froze with his mouth wide open and his eyes rolled back.

"Hey, newbie! What's going on over there!?" shouted the Leader.

There was no response. Leader motioned at one of his men to go check.

"He's...dead."

"What!? What are you talking about!? Then who's driving the Steel Boar Custom!?"

The Not-Jeep crashed through a hot dog stand, sending wieners and buns flying into the air.

"Move! I'll take the wheel!" said the Leader, chewing on a hot dog. He hopped off the gatling gun and into the driver's seat.

"WHAT DO YA THINK YA DOIN', YA DAMN CRIMINAL!" roared Tachibana's father, slamming the police vehicle into the Not-Jeep's rear end. The Not-Jeep spun sharply and veered back onto the road.

"What the hell is that!?" shouted the Leader as he regained control of the vehicle.

"I think it's the Bonyari Police Chief, Leader!"

"Heh, the big fish right from the start..." said the Leader, his eyes burning with determination. "Fine then, you demon! Let's see if you can keep up with the leader of the Steel Boars!"

A race through the streets of Bonyari. The ringing sirens cleared the streets and the violent skidding and screeching drove away the pedestrians.

_What's with this guy?_

_It's as if..._

A constant attack. The Steel Boar Custom was being battered all over by the police vehicle. The Steel Boars in the back seat were crying out as each hit shook the Not-Jeep.

_Over and over again. He's rammed into us countless times._

_But..._

The Steel Boar Custom had not crashed. The Steel Boar Custom hadn't, not even once, driven in the direction the Leader tried to steer to.

_It's as if he's controlling my movements!_

Precise strikes to the Not-Jeep. Tachibana's father was reining in the Steel Boar Custom. He was forcing it down a straight path, like a sheep dog herding livestock.

"L-Leader..."

"Newbie, you're still alive!?"

"We can't...win against that monster...please give up."

"You're definitely a newbie, aren't you!" said the Leader, grinning. "The Steel Boars just get stronger in the face of danger! You guys, take that damn police car down!"

"Yes, Leader!"

The Steel Boar members clambered over each other and started pulling and pushing at the enormous gatling gun. With intense effort, they were able to rotate it to aim at the police vehicle.

"Pull over now!" ordered Tachibana's father, ramming into their side again.

"Khh...over my dead body, you geezer!" shouted the Leader, flooring the gas. The two vehicles raced down a straightway, the speedometers ticking away to 150km/hr!

"Leader, we've got them in our sights!" said one of the Steel Boars, the gatling gun whirring into action.

"Alright! On my mark!"

The police vehicle rammed into them again. Newbie cried out as glass sprayed onto him from the passenger's window. The Leader jerked his wheel, steadying their position.

The Steel Boar on the gatling gun tightened his grip. The clip of rounds were being fed into the cannon.

The two vehicles were so close now that sparks flew off from their colliding rims.

"FIREEEEE!"

The gatling gun's whirring reached its peak. A blinding flash of muzzle fire as the first rounds blasted into the police vehicle's shell-

There was a horrible screech of metal-

Then, the entire rear half of the Not-Jeep collapsed and tore off.

"Eh?"

"Huh?"

"HUH!?" cried all of the Steel Boars as they fell onto the street, the heavy gatling gun crashing on top of them in an explosion of debris and dust.

"What...just happened?" said the Leader.

"The vibration from the gatling gun...it must have been so powerful that it tore apart the Not-Jeep," said Newbie, a twitching smile on his face.

"Oh...haha..."

"Haha..."

"HAHAHAHA!"

"WE DON'T HAVE REAR TIRES ANYMORE, DAAAAMNNN IITTT!" cried Newbie as the Steel Boar Custom spun out of control and flipped completely 180 degrees into the air.

The sound of shrieking metal. An explosion that rocked the entire street.

The two Steel Boar members crawled out of the wreckage, barely able to stay on their knees.

And in front of them, lit up in the smoke and flames of the wrecked Not-Jeep-

"Caught you, ya damn weasels," said Tachibana's father, his eyes gleaming like a spirit from Hell.

* * *

Back at the Bonyari shopping district-

"Why is it like this...?"

Chitoge and Tsugumi were stuck in line.

"You bastards! How dare you set up a blockade!" cried a person in the mob.

"Hehehe...I don't know what you're talking about," said the executive representative of the Bonyari shopping district's neighborhood committee. "However, I do know that we have delicious fried chicken in a cup on a special 2-for-1 sale right now!"

"F-Fried chicken in a cup!? You...bastards...that's unfair!"

"And of course...you can choose among ten specialty dipping sauces..."

"Gghh...Just take my money already!"

"Ojou...there are too many people blocking our path. We have no way of getting out of the shopping district."

"Why does this have to happen now of all times!?" said Chitoge, chewing her thumbnail.

"What should we do, Ojou?"

Chitoge tried to process her thoughts. This wasn't good. Kosaki and Ruri were getting further and further away. The Black Suits aside, there were plenty of other dangers out there with all of these scavengers trying to obtain the location of 'Netorare Neko-chan!'

"Ojou...?"

"Tsugumi," said Chitoge, finally coming to a decision. Even though there was a chance of things getting worse this way, it was better than taking no action at all. "It looks like we don't have a choice."

Blue eyes met red eyes.

"Call Claude and the other Beehive members. We need their help."

* * *

**A/N: **_And this arc gets even longer..._

_On a side note, the new developments in Nisekoi have been pretty exciting. Although I did a headslam on my desk when the new chapter pretty much nullified this fic's main plotline ending...  
_


	34. HSKC 7 - Preparations

A thermos of hot black tea. A platter of rolled sandwiches stuffed with pickles and cured meats.

It was a rare moment in the busy life of the Beehive member named Claude. A moment where he could sit down at a table on one of the large balconies in the mansion and enjoy a bit of a late lunch. The past week had been tough for Claude, with various missions and ongoing investigations on his plate. Even though his position required him to contend with and oversee an enormous number of Beehive activities, it was still unusual to see this many overlapping duties happening all at once. It was for this reason that Claude had gotten behind on his meals. Had he truly been able to finish everything in a timely manner, there would have been no lull in-between his activities and he would have been able to tackle each task seamlessly.

No, this short break was a sign of Claude's ineptitude. It was something that would need to be reflected on at a later time. A better man would be able to finish everything without having to resort to inefficient delays.

Claude sighed and took out the picture of Chitoge that he always carried on his person. He set it down on the table next to the sandwiches and began eating his meal.

"Ojou, this incompetent Claude will eat his meal and work harder to make up for his mistakes today," said Claude, chewing his sandwich. "Please forgive me for having shown you something so unsightly."

The picture of Chitoge smiled wordlessly back at Claude.

"Thank you, Ojou. I will make sure to give it my all, so please watch me," said Claude, intent on showing his good side this time. He took a sip of black tea and sighed contently.

Just then, his phone began to vibrate.

"Which bastard dares to ruin my peaceful lunch with Ojou!?" snarled Claude, snatching his phone out of his pocket.

The name on the caller ID made Claude's face go white with horror.

_Click._

"Hello? Claude?"

"O-Ojou! I have made an unforgivable mistake! I am not worthy of hearing your gracious voice!"

"...What are you talking about?"

"I am very sorry, Ojou! I will transfer you immediately to a more suitable member. I do not have the right to speak to you with this vile tongue of min-"

"Claude! Listen to me! I need your help."

FLASH! Claude's blubbering cut off immediately. His glasses turned white as he stood up from the table.

"I understand. This unworthy Claude will do exactly as you order," said Claude. For Ojou to request his assistance...there was no task that could be of greater importance.

"I'll leave it to Tsugumi to explain." There was a crackle as Chitoge passed the phone to Tsugumi.

"Claude-sama. Please mobilize all of the Beehive members. This is a search and rescue mission."

* * *

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Part Seven_

* * *

"Umm...Maiko-senpai. Where exactly are we going?"

Girl A asked this perfectly reasonable question as they walked through what seemed to be a deserted alleyway.

"We're leaving the shopping district, of course," said Shu. He opened a door in the alleyway and gestured for them to follow.

"As expected of Maiko-senpai," said Boy A as they sneaked through a bustling kitchen. "These are urban shortcuts, aren't they?"

"That's right! For all users of hidden photography, having a network of shortcuts and secret paths is a necessity! Who knows when something interesting may be happening in a location that is inconvenient to get to through conventional means!"

"And we get free food sometimes!" said one of Shu's comrades.

"Amazing, I need to take notes," said Boy A.

So..you really were here for the porno, Maiko-senpai...?" said Girl A. Taking secret paths like this in a shopping district...the reason could only be to get ahead of the clogging crowd outside.

As Girl A looked at him uncertainly, Shu clapped his hand onto her shoulder.

"You seem to have mixed feelings about discovering this side of me. But you have nothing to worry about," said Shu with a serious expression. "We can watch it together."

"W-W-WATCH IT TOGETHER!?"

Girl A's face exploded at those words. A porno? Watch a porno with Shu!? Just the two of them!?

"Just kidding~" said Shu, laughing. "Of course, it's just a joke."

Girl A suddenly felt an intensely burning connection with Ruri.

"Or perhaps you were really considering it?" said Shu, smiling at her. Girl A's heart skipped a beat. She was getting bounced around by every word he said.

"Maiko-senpai, please don't tease her so much. She's the kind that easily gets her hopes up even after they've been stomped to the ground," said Boy A casually. Girl A's fingers snapped to his cheeks and started pulling them. "Ow...what are you doing?"

"Of course, the real reason is mainly just to help out some friends of mine," said Shu, flashing a thumbs-up at the other male students with them.

"Come on, Shu. You know you're interested too."

"Someone like you doesn't go to these lengths for just any old perverted video!"

"True! This is certainly more than just your average porno!" said Shu, chuckling in a self-satisfied manner. "Needless to say, I can't say no if a beautiful treasure like this turns up right in front of me!"

"I knew you were one of us, Shu!"

"You understand that it's more than just some primitive titillation on this disc! It's a real masterpiece, that's what it is!"

"I should have known that you would be among the hunters, senpai! Please allow me to call you Master!" said Boy A.

"Don't talk like that. I'm just one of you right now...in pursuit of greater heights in my journey through manhood," said Shu.

"No, no, there is no need for you to be so humble, Master-"

"Umm...excuse me?" said Girl A, raising her hand timidly. "Could someone please explain to me what's so great about this...porno?"

The disbelieving eyes of every single male student there turned to Girl A with complete synchronization.

"She doesn't know...?"

"Of course not, she's a girl...why is she even here?"

"What is the meaning of this?" asked one of the male classmates, his question directed at Shu and Boy A.

"Now, now. Don't be like that~ it's not like we could just abandon her with all those dangerous people out there," said Shu.

"It is fine," said Boy A, hands up in an attempt to pacify the uncomfortable stares. "Although she tries to hide it, she is already one of us. She is a tsundere to her own desires and thoughts."

"Who's a tsundere to what!?" shouted Girl A.

"Ah, I see. That makes total sense."

"Phew, had me worried there for a second."

"If you explain it like that, then I guess there's no helping it."

"A real-life tsundere, huh...? I thought she was more of the gentle, soothing type."

"H-Hold on! Why are you guys accepting those lies about me so easily!?"

"Well, if that's how it is, then I suppose we have to fill you in," said one of the males.

"Wait, I don't want to know anymore!"

"It's a legendary disc with only one copy said to exist in the entire world," said Shu. "Although it looks like there are a lot of people outside, if you consider the fact that the number of people out there only consists of 0.000001% of just the Japanese population alone...there are very few people that know of this porno's existence and even fewer that have laid their eyes on the real thing."

"I understand that it's a very rare item," said Girl A, having listened to the manager's speech earlier. "But...is that really the only reason everyone seems to want to get it?"

"Isn't that enough reason!?" said one of the male students. "Think about it! The fact that its legendary status has survived this long even accounting for its extreme rarity suggests that it's not a normal porno! Horrible pornos are forgotten in the blink of an eye! Even great pornos become buried underneath the enormous catalog of mass-produced porno available today. It's just a matter of time."

"Exactly," said Shu, nodding. "A classic is something that can withstand the test of time. In film, in literature, even in games, everyone has at least one that they can consider a classic. But to find the same among their list of pornos...the fact that 'Netorare Neko-chan!' has accomplished this impossible feat is a testament to the quality of the content that it must hold."

"As we said before, it's not just about mere arousal," said one of the male students. "It's curiosity. And a desire to show this masterpiece the proper respect it deserves. A porno is created to be watched. It is only right that this sort of god-tier material has the proper kind of audience."

"It just sounds like you're trying to justify the fact that you want to watch a porno..." said Girl A.

"Well, I can't lie about that," said Shu. All of the other males nodded in agreement, proudly.

"Do you understand now, Tsundere-chan? The pure feelings that we are pouring into this journey to obtain the greatest porno in mankind's history...!"

"No...I really don't! And I'm not a tsundere!"

"Well, she wouldn't get it. After all, she's trying to watch the porno for indecent reasons like trying to steal the heart of the boy she li-"

Boy A seemed to vanish into thin air for a second as Girl A tackled him so hard that he flew away at the speed of light!

"Anyways, that's how it is," said Shu as they continued their way through the path of open doors, back alleys, and dusty stairs.

"I see..." said Girl A.

"Ow...that wasn't very sheepy," said Boy A, rubbing his swollen cheeks.

"So, are you sure you don't want to watch it with me later?" said Shu with his usual cat-like smile.

"..."

Girl A looked silently at Shu.

"Maiko-senpai...do you really just want to watch this porno?" said Girl A.

"Of course! I can't pass up such nice footage...oo hoo! It'll probably be tame considering censorship back in the day, but there certainly has to be a beauty inside!"

"..."

_If that's true..._

Girl A was in love with Maiko Shu. She had been in love with him since the beginning of her time in high school.

That was why she knew. Because she had always been watching him. Because she had been to see parts of him that even someone as perceptive as Miyamoto Ruri hadn't. Parts that even his best friend, Ichijou Raku, hadn't noticed.

That those eyes that Maiko Shu had right now...

They were eyes fixated on a goal.

A goal that was far more important than just watching a really good porno.

"Maiko-senpai-"

"But Master, the tablet with the directions to finding 'Netorare Neko-chan!' was destroyed," said Boy A, interrupting Girl A. "Right now, only those people who took off in the hot-air balloon have the directions. How are you going to catch up to them?"

"Oho, good question!" said Shu, cat-like smile widening. "And the answer to that is 'we're not!'"

"Huh?"

"There's no need to catch up to those guys," said Shu, chuckling with his eyes closed in complete confidence. "After all, we've got better information on our hands than some encoded directions."

"R-Really!?"

"We're going to meet up with our secondary unit right now," said Shu, opening another door. "Right now, they've managed to obtain an extremely valuable asset from the crowd outside..."

"Asset? What do you mean?" said Girl A, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"Think of it this way. Even though 'Netorare Neko-chan!' is a legendary porno, what else is it?"

"Uh...a DVD?" said Girl A, unsure of what else to say.

"Bingo! You've got a pretty good head on you!" said Shu, eliciting another blush from Girl A. "That's right...that's the key point there..."

"Netorare Neko-chan!" was a DVD. But not just a regular DVD.

It was a rental DVD.

"Eh? Does that make any difference...?" asked Girl A.

"Not for the average person," said Shu. "However...if you get the _right_ person..."

"Shu! We see them!" shouted one of the male students that was running ahead.

"Ok! Let's go!" said Shu, pulling Girl A and Boy A by the hands.

"W-Where are we going?"

"Ah, that reminds me! Even though Onodera-san and Ruri-chan are probably safe in _those_ guys' hands...maybe I should notify _him_..." said Shu, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

Girl A looked at him questioningly. Suddenly, a shrewd grin appeared on Shu's face.

"Yeah...I think _that_ guy has seen too little screentime lately..."

"S...Senpai?"

A stream of devious laughter as Maiko Shu pulled out his cellphone to make a call.

* * *

At this moment, Ichijou Raku was in the kitchen, trying out a new recipe that he had heard about recently. He mixed Korean red pepper paste, garlic, and ginger together in a bowl, creating a thick mixture that clung to the spoon. A drizzle of mirin for some sweetness and some soy sauce for a more savory, salty flavor.

"Alright...now I just need to cut up some chicken..."

Raku had finished washing his hands in the sink and was in the process of heading to the fridge when his phone began vibrating.

"Hmm...? Oh, it's Shu..."

_Click._

"Yo, Shu. What's up?"

"Hey, Raku~! What are you doing right now?"

"Ah...just doing some cooking."

"Ehh~ no harem today?"

"What are you talking about...if you mean Chitoge and the others, yeah. It seems like everyone's up to something today. It's kind of peaceful actually..."

"Ah, I see. So you're enjoying the peacetime, huh?"

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. But it does feel a little dull today, I guess..."

"I see. Well Raku, I have to be going now. But I think you might be getting a call from Kirisaki-san later~"

"Huh? What are you talking abo-"

_Click._ Shu hung up abruptly.

_What was that about?_

Just as that question was forming in Raku's mind, his phone started buzzing again.

"...How can this guy predict the future like that?"

Kirisaki Chitoge was calling him.

_Click._

"Hey, Chitoge. What's u-"

"RAKU, KOSAKI-CHAN GOT KIDNAPPED!"

"HAH!?" shouted Raku.

"Ah, but I think she's safe."

"What...hey you! Explain properly! You're giving me a heart attack!"

"Putting that aside, Raku. Have you heard of 'Netorare Neko-chan!' ?"

"Huh? What's with that questionable title...? And what's that got to do with Onodera!?"

"Ah, jeez! You're really frustrating, you know that! Look, just get your butt down to the city area and look for a hot-air balloon!"

"A hot-air balloon? Why would there be a hot-air balloon in Bonyari!? And what's going on with Onodera!? Is she ok?"

"The Black Suits took her."

"HEY! That's really bad, isn't it!?"

"Is it? I don't know, I'm pretty sure they don't have any bad intentions..."

"What are you talking about, they destroyed half the school last time!"

"...Hmm. Anyways, I need you to go catch up to them and make sure Kosaki-chan and Ruri-chan are safe! Me and Tsugumi are stuck in the shopping district."

"Miyamoto too!? What do you mean you're stuck there, this isn't the time to be shopping-"

"I _know_ that! Look, just catch up to those Black Suits, ok? You're a useless beansprout, but you should be able to do something, right!? I wouldn't be asking you if I had any other choice!"

"Damn it. Alright, I'm heading out! Where are am I supposed to go?" said Raku, throwing his apron aside.

"I don't know, we lost track of them."

"You don't know where they were headed!? How am I supposed to find them!?"

"I don't know, you figure it out! Look, I'll call you again once we get out of the shopping district. Just hurry up!"

_Click._ Kirisaki Chitoge hung up.

"Damn it...Onodera got kidnapped?" said Raku again, just to confirm the truth. What was he supposed to do? If she was lost or something, he would just search every single corner of the city to find her. But if she was kidnapped...the faster he could find her...

"Bocchan! I just got a call from the Don that she is coming home late tonight-"

"Ryuu!"

Although he felt wary about how things could get if he got them involved, he knew that this was his best chance.

"Ryuu, I need your help!"

* * *

"Hmm...? I feel like I forgot to tell Raku something really important..."

"Ojou! This fried chicken in a cup is actually quite delicious."

"Really!? Let me try some..."

Chitoge dipped the chicken into a tangy, spicy ketchup sauce and popped it into her mouth.

"Wow! This really is delicious! You have to try it when you get back, Kosaki-chan."

"Yeah..." said Onodera Kosaki, listening to the sound of crispy chicken being munched on. "So, Chitoge-chan. Who were you on the phone with?"

"Ah, I told Raku to come and get you. Is that ok with the little girl?"

"I-Ichijou-kun!? Uh...um..."

Kosaki looked up for confirmation.

"I see. In that case, we can release you into safe custody once this is all over," said the labcoat girl, nodding.

"But jeez. You guys should've just said that you were just trying to protect Kosaki and Ruri-chan..."

"Well, things were moving pretty fast, Chitoge-chan..."

"In any case, Chitoge-chan. Kosaki and I will retrieve the po...I mean 'Netorare Neko-chan!' So, please don't strain yourselves," said Ruri into the phone. She and Kosaki exchanged meaningful glances.

"Ehh...I kind of wanted to help...it sounds really interesting. But ok! We'll all watch it together when you come back with it."

"R-Right..." said Kosaki, unconsciously averting her gaze.

"Ah! I'm getting another call. It's probably from Claude. I'll call you guys back when we're out of here, ok?"

They exchanged goodbyes and then hung up the call.

"Well, now that we have that taken care of," said the labcoat girl, cracking her knuckles. "Shall we get on with it?"

A Black Suit took out his phone and opened up the image of the stone tablet case. Kosaki and Ruri crawled over to look at the picture.

"This may be a rare item that hasn't been seen in years, but the fact that it was in the possession of _that_ Mitsuya means it has to be somewhere in Bonyari to be lent out in a timely manner," said the labcoat girl. "Now that we got rid of those Iron Talon idiots, we can burn one hour of fuel before we have to land. We've got a bird's eye view of the city, so once we crack this code, we can head straight down for it."

"So we have less than an hour to solve this puzzle," said Ruri.

The picture of the stone tablet case that held the secret location of the hidden treasure "Netorare Neko-chan!"

Not only were the inscriptions written in a completely foreign language, but it also seemed to be a multi-layered code involving pictograms, strange symbols, and what seemed like an extensive grid filled with patterns and small etchings.

"R-Ruri-chan...can we really solve this in less than an hour?" said Kosaki.

"We have no choice, Kosaki-chan," said Ruri, her glasses flashing. "Right now, we have the chance to watch a real legendary porno. This is sure to fix that timid attitude of yours."

"You're still on about that!?"

"I see. So you wanted to make Onodera Kosaki watch a porno to get her more comfortable with making aggressive attacks on Ichijou Raku," said the labcoat girl. "Well, I can't say that I'm not a fan of this kind of progression."

"Boss, if Kosaki-tan needs this porno, I'm more than willing to let her watch it first."

"Kosaki-tan!?"

"Yeah...this kind of thing is something that the younger generation should experience first..."

"A young, fresh high school girl watching a porno before me...actually, please watch it before me!"

"Sorry if I sound a little irritated. I'm being reminded of an annoying, repulsive bastard right now..." said Ruri.

"Don't worry, Miyamoto Ruri. I understand your feelings," said the labcoat girl, sighing and rubbing her temples. "Anyways, back onto topic-"

The hiss of the burner faded away as the balloon became perfectly perpendicular with the center of Bonyari below. The labcoat girl sat back, hands cradling the back of her head. An incisor showed as she smiled wickedly.

"Let's see if this second-rate puzzle is worthy of protecting a legendary treasure."

* * *

**A/N: **_Wait...Haru...!? What are you doing back in Nisekoi with such an important plot point!?_


	35. HSKC 8 - Joining Forces

**Bonus Arc**

**Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!**

_Part Eight  
_

* * *

How much time had passed?

That was the thought that floated occasionally floated through Nakano Shakai's mind. Perhaps an hour? Two hours? Two minutes?

"Do you know why you've been brought here?"

A voice came from somewhere to his right. Instinctively, Shakai turned his head towards that direction, although it didn't really matter in the end.

After all, right now, Nakano Shakai was blind.

To be more precise, his eyes were covered. He had been blindfolded by a thick piece of fabric that felt like fake cotton, likely made of some very fine polyester. Not even a speck of light could be seen. The only thing that he knew about his current situation was that he was strapped into a flimsy metal chair with the same type of fabric.

The truth was, Shakai could probably stand right now and make his escape with the chair tied to him. That was how light this chair was. However, as someone who was an average member of society, Shakai knew that he wouldn't get far while being completely blind.

So Shakai did the only reasonable thing a person in his situation would do.

He answered the question.

"Mmrr..."

"What?"

"Mmrrrr..."

Hm?

Hmmm?

He was saying "no," but...

His voice...

His mouth...wasn't working properly...

"What did he say?"

"I think he said 'Mia.'"

"Mia? Mama mia? Who's 'Mia?'"

"Who knows...? Jeez, interrogations are really difficult..."

"Maybe if we were in his position, it'd be easier to decipher his responses."

"Oh! Great idea. Alright, let's try it!"

Huh? For some reason, there was a dragging sound. A squeak...was that another metal chair? They were putting another chair next to him?

"Alright, you're all tied up. How do you feel?"

"Uhh...kinda normal, I guess. I mean, since I know where everything is, I'm not really that scared..."

"Does that mean _he's_ not really that scared?"

"Maybe. He's an employee, right? They must have training for this kind of thing, you know, in case there's a situation in the store..."

"Then should we go off the assumption that he's not scared?"

"Are you guys idiots!? He's clearly scared, look at his knees! They're wobbling!"

_Eh!?_ Shakai's legs stiffened out of reflex.

"What are you talking about? He's as solid as a rock."

"Huh? I could've sworn..."

"Now, now. If the guy's clearly not scared, then we can't treat him like that. We'll have to be upfront and direct about this."

"I told you guys to do that from the start...this whole interrogation crap is just smoke and mirrors..."

"Oh wow, look at this guy talk. Have you ever done an interrogation?"

"I don't need to do one to know that they're just a waste of time. Seriously, you think you can get people to do things they don't want to just like that? You should see my little sister, she doesn't fall for anything! And what are we going to do, cut the guy's pinky off?"

There was a loud clamor as multiple responses shot from every direction around Shakai.

"Now, now! No one said that we'd need to get that extreme-"

"Then how do we make this guy talk? Huh? What are you going to do, waterboard him? Fine, why don't you try it. Let's see how far you get with that little water bottle."

"Jeez, you're such a killjoy..."

"Ah? What was that? You got a problem with what I'm saying?"

"That's...I didn't mean it like that..."

"Huh? Speak clearly! Because it sounds like you do have a problem!"

"...I'm just saying! You know, the guy can't even see anything right now...what's wrong with a little force? I mean, we already kidnapped him-"

"Ahh, I'm going to go crazy. This guy really knows nothing, huh? Hey, you. Are you a delinquent?"

"...No."

"When someone gets mad at you for something you didn't do, do you tell it to their face?"

"...Sometimes."

"Sometimes my ass, you probably just walk away while mumbling about how stupid they are. Am I right?"

"...Yeah."

"Yeah, yeah...I get it, ok? I understand, cause I'm like that too. We're all like that. SO. WHAT. I'M. SAYING. There's no damn way losers like us can force someone to talk, is there!?"

"...I guess so."

"So this is all just a waste of time. Expecting a bunch of otaku and perverts to interrogate someone...you guys think you're normalfags or something!?"

_!_

Normalfag.

He said normalfag, didn't he!?

That meant...

Yeah, that meant...

"We're...comrades?"

"Huh? Jeez, I really can't understand a word this guy is saying."

"Maybe we should try using Googol Translate..."

"Can't we try Piri...?"

"What are you talking about, everyone knows Googol Voice is way better-"

"You guys are all idiots. Pirouette is the best of them all."

"What the hell is this guy saying, that's just an open-source clone of Piri!"

"Being open source is what makes it better, you noob!"

_Ahh...what is this feeling I'm having..._

He was moved. Nakano Shakai was moved. How long had it been since he had last heard a conversation like this? Not something boring like workplace gossip or what teachers were the best for certain courses. That's right...those dragging conversations that were mandatory...just a way to kill the time while you were forced to be in the same room with someone who was completely different from you-

"Hm? Hey guys! I think he's...crying..."

"Huh!? What did you do!?"

"Me!? Nothing! I didn't even touch him!"

"It was obviously you! Now that I think about it, it's probably because you smell! When's the last time you took a shower!? You could kill a cat with that stench!"

"H-Hey! This is just cause my sister always cooks with lots of garlic..."

"Oi, oi! You have a sister cooking meals for you!? What the hell, I thought you were one of us!"

"And it's a little sister too! You bastard!"

"Let's go over to his house for dinner tonight!"

"Yeah! I want his sister's homecooked meals too!"

"W-Wait! You guys can't be serious, there's no way we have enough food-"

Suddenly, the sound of a door opening-

"What are you guys doing? It's all dark in here."

"S-Senpai!"

_Senpai...? Is this person...the leader?_

That was the first conclusion that Shakai could think of. With the entrance of this new person, all conversation had stopped. The atmosphere of this room...there was no mistaking who the person with the most authority here was.

"Is this the guy?"

"Yes. We captured him from inside the Mitsuya during the uproar."

"Ok, good job! But why'd you guys tie him up like that?"

"We didn't want him to escape if he wasn't willing to cooperate..."

"But there was no reason to blindfold him, right? Well, whatever. I'll just take it off~"

Blinding light. For a moment, everything was blurred and indistinct. Shakai blinked rapidly, trying to adjust his eyes to the sudden change in lighting.

"Hey, are you alright?"

A blonde boy with glasses was crouching down to look at him. Shakai gulped to moisten his dry throat.

"Um...why did you guys kidnap me...?"

"Ah Maiko, do you need Googol Translate?"

"That was Japanese, you idiot!"

"You guys are really noisy..." said Shu with a light smile. "Can we get the lights turned on here? And someone help me get him untied..."

Scattered responses from the group. Based off Shakai's estimate, he guessed that there were around a dozen people here. From the light coming from the door, Shakai could see that they were not in a very large room; perhaps an unused office or something.

"You asked why we kidnapped you, right?"

"H-Huh?"

Shakai turned his head back to Shu.

"Y...Yes..."

"Don't get creeped out, but I was watching you in the store today. And now that this whole riot has happened with 'Netorare Neko-chan!,' I thought we could join forces."

"Join forces...? But I don't...I mean...I can't contribute anything..." said Shakai, lowering his eyes.

"You're wrong."

Shu clapped an encouraging hand on his shoulder.

"In my eyes, you're the most crucial piece needed for this goose chase right now."

"I am...?"

Shakai half-mumbled those words, unable to understand what he meant. He opened his mouth to ask for clarification, but he was interrupted by sounds of running footsteps-

"Senpai...you're too quick..."

A boy appeared at the door, followed closely by a panting girl.

"Oh, you guys! You arrived at the perfect time. Come in and close the door behind you."

Shu stood up, a fierce grin on his face as his glasses glinted.

"It's time for us to begin our attack."

* * *

Chitoge had changed.

That was what Ichijou Raku thought as he waited in his house. Ryuu was currently gathering information on Black Suit sightings in the city. They were also on the lookout for a hot air balloon, but it seemed to have vanished from the skies.

It also didn't help that Chitoge's line seemed to be constantly busy. Not having much to go on, Raku had decided to just look for more Black Suits. If they were an organization, like they had announced during the Bonyari Invasion, then finding one member could lead them to Kosaki.

But still, Raku was uneasy. Judging from Chitoge's tone of voice, it didn't sound like Kosaki was in any serious trouble. But he'd feel much more at ease if he knew what was going on with her and Ruri right now.

It was this sense of worry that had driven him to ask Ryuu and the guys for help. He had talked with his father to explain the situation to him and had gotten his full support.

_It's good that you're taking your role as the heir more seriously now, Raku._

_It's not like that, old man. _

_Well, this time is fine. But Raku...remember. If you really don't intend on taking up your position as the heir, you won't be able to depend on these guys in the future._

_I know that...this is just a one time thing-_

_I'm not talking about that, Raku. I'm saying that in the future, you'll come across obstacles that you can't handle on your own. When that time comes..._

Raku looked down at his hands. It was true. Even back in the Bonyari Invasion, when things had gotten tough...he had called the yakuza members for help. When Kyoko-sensei was leaving the school...when Ruri had visited her grandfather...when Chitoge had reconciled with her mother...

As a man, Ichijou Raku believed that he had to do his best when others counted on him. That he couldn't just turn a blind eye to the troubles around him.

When he was confronted with a problem, he wanted to run sometimes. He wanted to avoid it. But when things became serious, he knew that he had to buckle down and face it. Because he was a man...and because running from problems didn't change anything.

But there would be times where his best just wasn't enough. When Chitoge had been about to move to America...when they had been fighting against the Black Suits...

He wasn't overly smart. His physical strength wasn't anything great. He didn't have any special skills or talents.

Coming down to it, he wasn't really reliable.

There were many, many things that could stop Ichijou Raku right in his tracks.

_When that time comes..._

_Make sure that you do have people you can count on, Raku._

Chitoge had changed. In the beginning, she had come to this country with no one but her family and the Beehive members. But now, she had plenty of people she could count on. She didn't try to fight alone and she made sure no one else had to.

Raku wanted to be one of those people. Not just for Chitoge but for Kosaki too. And Marika and Tsugumi and Yui and Haru...

_I love you, Raku!_

Yeah...

He had no other choice.

After all, they all loved him.

Raku didn't have an answer yet for that problem. But right now, Chitoge needed him. Kosaki needed him.

His friends needed him.

It was true that he didn't have enough power to solve this all on his own. He had to ask his family for help.

But...

"Bocchan! We've found something! Apparently there is a Black Suit that frequents a coffee shop in Bonyari. He should be there right now."

"Ok! Let's go meet him!"

Raku hurried after Ryuu and the others.

Right now he wasn't strong enough alone...

But...

Damned if that was going to stop him from doing all he could.

* * *

_Ah...also, Raku. About this hot-air balloon you're looking for..._

_You know something about it, old man!?_

_Uh no...that's...Have you looked at the news lately?_

_...? What are you talking about?_

_...Hehe. It's nothing. Forget I said anything about it._

_?_

* * *

_Huh? Chitoge, I'll call you back. I'm sending the guys out to find some Black Suits.  
_

That was the last thing that Chitoge had heard from Ichijou Raku.

And right now, Kirisaki Chitoge could not get Ichijou Raku back on the phone. He wasn't picking up and she would always go to voicemail.

But she needed him to pick up. If he didn't answer, then it could become disastrous.

Because Kirisaki Chitoge realized that she had made a horrible mistake.

_Ah, Claude? Did you send the Beehive members to go protect Kosaki and Ruri-chan?_

_Make sure that you've packed enough ammunition! Ojou's orders! This isn't just a scuffle, we need to show our best today!_

_OHHH!_

_...Claude? I want to make sure that Kosaki and Ruri-chan are safe, but they're with some reliable people. You guys shouldn't overdo it..._

_Please do not worry, Ojou! This unworthy Claude has ensured that nothing in our arsenal is being spared from use. I promise you, we will __**completely**__ and __**unrelentingly**__ eradicate all signs of Black Suits in Bonyari._

_Huh!?_

That was when Chitoge had realized that something was wrong. As she had detailed with Tsugumi, this would be a search-and-rescue operation. The plan was to rendezvous with Kosaki, Ruri, and the Black Suits and help them find "Netorare Neko-chan!". However, their main task would be to help protect Kosaki and Ruri once they solved the puzzle and had to land the balloon. No doubt the other hunters were waiting for the balloon to come back down to visible range. The moment Kosaki and Ruri hit the ground, there would be an entire army of hunters waiting for them.

It was at that point where the _rescue_ part of the operation would happen.

In retrospect, there really was no need for Raku to be a part of this operation at all. However, she knew Raku's personality. He was the kind of person that couldn't sit still when someone was in trouble. So she had initially planned to meet up with him in the city and then join with the Beehives to go rescue Kosaki and Ruri.

But she hadn't expected the idiot to send out the yakuza!

And now Claude had somehow gotten the wrong idea about the Black Suits!

_Claude! That's not what I told you to do! The Black Suits are our allies-_

_I'm sorry, Ojou! I couldn't hear you properly! Men, don't forget the grenade launchers!_

_Claude! THE BLACK SUITS AREN'T OUR ENEMIES!_

_I understand! We will surely destroy those Black Suits! We've already found one at a local coffee shop! We'll be taking him in for questioning so we can smoke out the rest of these rats! Ah, excuse me, Ojou. I need to go and help the men prepare the spare tank-_

_Claude, no! That's not it, Claude! Claude? CLAUDE!_

"Ojou? Ojou, what's wrong?"

Chitoge looked up at Tsugumi with trembling eyes.

There was no way...that it'd happen. Even with all this, there'd have to be enormous coincidences for the worst-case scenario to happen-

But...

_But..._

"T-Tsugumi..."

Chitoge's voice shook as she heard the words coming out of her own mouth.

"I think I might've started a war..."

* * *

"Welcome everyone. As you all know, today our goal is to obtain the elusive, extremely rare 'Netorare Neko-chan!'"

A hearty cheer came in response to Shu's statement. He quieted the room down with a wave of his hands.

"However, it's true that our only resource containing the information necessary to hunt down 'Netorare Neko-chan!' was destroyed. The only copy of this information is currently with an organization called 'The Shield of False Love.' And right now, all eyes are focused on them and their hot-air balloon. I believe that there will be a mad scramble once they've solved the puzzle and head out to obtain 'Netorare Neko-chan!'"

"Then aren't we screwed?"

"How are we supposed to compete with those gangster and thugs!?"

"It's true that we're at a disadvantage!" continued Shu. "We're just high schoolers that have similar interests. We can't fight against organized crime groups and professional hunters."

Girl A glanced over at Shu. It was essentially the same thing that she had been told on the way over here. As they were right now, the Maiko group had no chance of obtaining "Netorare Neko-chan!"

However-

"However, we have an alternative route open to us. While the other groups spend their time twiddling their thumbs and waiting for the balloon to come down, we'll sweep 'Netorare Neko-chan!' from right underneath them!"

"How!"

_How._ That was the ultimate question. And once Girl A had heard the answer to it, she couldn't believe that she hadn't thought of it before.

"Netorare Neko-chan!" was a rental DVD.

Which meant...

"With the help of our new partner here. Nakano Shakai!"

"H-Hello..."

"Hey, Maiko. Get on with it. We know this guy's important since you had us catch him, but _why_ is he important..."

"Sorry, I guess I've milked this too much! Alright then, I'll get to the point."

Shu had the group huddle closer so that everyone could hear the plan.

"Hey, hey...are you serious?"

"We can do something like that? Isn't that illegal...?"

"But that's the only thing we can resort to, right? The tablet was destroyed..."

"But that means..."

"Yeah..."

Along with the rest of them, Girl A looked again towards Maiko Shu. "Netorare Neko-chan!" was a rental DVD. That meant that there was a database containing information about those that rented it, for the sake of billing and identification purposes.

However, if "Netorare Neko-chan!" was not kept at the store-

That meant that the previous renter had also hunted it down.

Which meant-

"That's right," said Shu, patting Shakai on the back. "We're going back to the Mitsuya to find the previous renter. And once we do that..."

An alternative route to finding the elusive, one-of-a-kind "Netorare Neko-chan!".

Girl A couldn't help but smile.

Really...Maiko Shu was really quite something.

* * *

**A/N: **_Just for clarification purposes, no, this fic hasn't ended yet! April Fools! _

_...So late._

_Anyways, just as a heads-up, I'll be out on a trip later this month. So there will likely be a break before the next release! I guess you can take this time to watch Nisekoi, season 2!_


	36. HSKC 9 - The Pervert Puzzle

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)  
**

**The Pervert Puzzle  
**

_Part Nine  
_

* * *

"Now, now. Don't be like that. You know, contrary to your opinion of me, I'm not very good at things like this. It's not really something I try often, so you _know_ that it's really about the circumstance and not like I'm just your everyday penny pincher!"

"Customer-san, I get that, ok? How many years do you think we've been doing business? I could probably recite your resume by heart, we've known each other for so long."

"That's exactly it! That's the kind of relationship we have. It wasn't just me thinking that, was it? You know it too!"

"Customer-san, I'm not denying that. I'll be perfectly honest, sometimes we get some really nasty characters coming into the shop. But you've never once been like that. The staff here really appreciate your patronage. I'm sure you've noticed that we put extra toppings on all your orders."

"Of course, of course, and I'm truly thankful for that. I understand that favoritism isn't something you can show openly in an industry like yours. I give thanks to you guys ten times before savoring each and every bite."

"It's not a problem. As we've already established, our current relationship is definitely something that neither of us want to ruin. It's in appreciation of that fact that we want you to know that we're always willing to put in the effort to ensure that we can accommodate your order in a diligent and satisfactory manner."

"That's it, that's it! Really, you guys are nothing like the other chains. It's why I've always ordered from here, even when the other chains sent me limited-time 2-for-1 coupons. That's the reason why I was counting on you guys to come through here."

"Customer-san, once again, we really appreciate your trust and commitment to our store-"

"Don't try and sugarcoat it. We're like family, you know that? It's not just about scratching each others' backs anymore; we're at the stage where we can scratch each others' kids' backs too."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far-"

"So, I have no intention of troubling you guys, who are like my family. It's just, I only have 4000 yen. That's a fact. And the other fact is that my order costs 4158 yen after you add in taxes and the delivery fee. Now, you guys already have the order made; it'd be more troubling to just cancel the order because I'm missing a measly 158 yen. What would you do with all that pizza? And your manager would definitely be furious about that and I wouldn't be able to live with having caused you so much grief. So all I'm saying is, for both of our sakes, you know-?"

"...Customer-san. First of all, would you please stop trying to haggle down the price? This isn't a store stall out on the streets looking to score some cash from suckers who have money flooding from their pockets. Our prices are _fixed_ to any and everyone who orders from this store. If you can't pay for the order right now, we can open up a tab or charge your credit card instead."

"Ah, really? That's great. I feel like a load's been taken off my mind. In that case, please just open up a tab under my name and deliver the pizza."

"...Customer-san. These are my sincere feelings. I really think that you're a good guy and I even feel like you're someone I can be friends with. But _please_...please stop asking for the impossible."

"But you just said I could open a tab. Look, if you really can't do that, then can you pay the difference? You know I'm good for the loan-"

"Customer-san, for the last time, WE CAN'T DELIVER TO A HOT-AIR BALLOON FLYING ABOVE BONYARI!"

"That again...look, why don't we talk about what this is _really_ about. How was I supposed to know that Domino's was the name of your store chain the very first time? It sounds like a bike rental place and you know it! It wasn't like I _intentionally_ stole that delivery bike, that was a complete accide-"

"Tch...this idiot," growled the labcoat girl, a vein throbbing above her eye. "WOULD YOU SHUT UP? How much crap do you have to spew out of your mouth to order a goddamn pizza-"

Heaving a sigh that seemed to deflate her entire body, the labcoat girl massaged her temples and returned to the problem at hand.

The stone tablet leading to "Netorare Neko-chan!".

"How is it, Miyamoto Ruri? Any progress yet?"

"No...I'm sorry. It's true that English is my preferred second language, but I thought that I might be able to interpret at least _some_ of the inscriptions..."

The labcoat girl's brow furrowed. She was having similar difficulties with the puzzle. Not to be arrogant, but the labcoat girl did have a genius-level intellect, having been able to construct her own army of giant robots, discover the truth about the governing metaphysics of this entire universe, and build her own organization of poorly paid, but stylishly dressed minions for the sake of discreetly ruining the romantic opportunities between a bunch of high schoolers.

Even so, all her knowledge and experience was drawing a blank on the inscriptions here. Over thirty minutes had passed already, meaning that they had wasted half of their fuel for nothing.

"Damn it...it's going to get annoying if we have to get back on the ground and deal with those cannon fodder before solving the puzzle..." said the labcoat girl, chewing on her thumb. "Onodera Kosaki. Have you thought of any ideas?"

"Oh my god...that's amazing! So that's how you make a paper crane!"

"That's not a paper crane, that's a work of art! Did you see that perfect inside reverse fold? Not a single crease is even a millimeter out of place!"

"Ehehe...it's not that great..." said Kosaki, scratching her cheek sheepishly.

"Kosaki-chan..."

"Onodera..."

Kosaki jumped as black flames began radiating out towards her.

"I-It's not what it looks like, Ruri-chan!" said Kosaki, surrounded by black suits struggling to make their own paper cranes. "It's just...You know how they say you can get a wish if you make a thousand cranes? So, I was thinking maybe if we all made origami cranes, it could help solve the puzzle...or something...ahaha..."

Kosaki's voice withered away. She started losing confidence in those words even as they came out of her mouth.

"Ah, I see. Good thinking, Kosaki-chan."

"Yeah. I never thought about it that way. You're onto something there, Onodera Kosaki."

"Eh? Really?"

Both Ruri and the labcoat girl pinched Kosaki's cheeks and pulled hard.

"Aph sopphy..." said Kosaki, tears forming in her eyes.

"Well, it's not like I can fault you," said Ruri, letting go of Kosaki's cheek. "This kind of stuff isn't your specialty, but you're still trying your best..."

"Ruri-chan..."

More black flames erupted from Ruri, her hair whipping into the air like a demon's aura.

_It's all this stupid puzzle's fault! There's not even a linguistic base for any of these scribbles, it's like some sort of child was given a rock and a chisel and just got lucky enough to make something that seems to have a repeating pattern and structure that looks like it could bear just the faintest bit of resemblance to some sort of grammatical syntax-_

"Ruri-chan..."

"Perhaps these inscriptions were made using a one-time pad encryption..."

"No, a one-time pad is too risky and complicated to construct properly in a real situation..."

"It's likely not using an asymmetric key encryption if we consider the age of the DVD..."

"Maybe some sort of polyalphabetic cipher...but none of this looks like a recognizable language..."

"If we look at it from the perspective of steganography-"

"Wait, perhaps its based off the Voynich manuscript..."

Question marks appeared over Kosaki's head as Ruri and the labcoat girl entered a deep conversation while huddled over the mobile phone. Twenty-five minutes left...even though it looked like Ruri and the labcoat girl weren't going to give up, it was clear that time was running out.

_If only there was something I could do..._

"Uhm...Kosaki-tan-"

A black suit approached Kosaki tentatively with his paper crane.

"Fweh!? I mean...uhh...you can just call me Kosaki..."

"I can't seem to get my crane to look right...It's kind of floppy and lifeless..."

"Ah, really? I think it looks fine..."

"No, no...compared to yours, it's almost like a different creature..."

"Hmm...but I think if you just tilt the head a little here..."

Kosaki delicately rotated the tip of the crane's head until it was looking down, almost like it was shyly tucking its head.

"See? It looks cute."

"Ah! It really does...ehehe...my crane is so cute..."

"N-No fair! How could you make something so adorable...you're not even a K-On! fan!"

"Heh...damn straight! K-On! isn't even cute! I mean, when you compare it to something godly like Lucky Star-"

"Ah! You're a lolicon! You damn pervert!"

"What'd you call me!? Don't try and smear my good name because you're a fan of Kyo-Ani when they went moeblob sellout!"

"Bunch of idiots...Kyo-Ani was always a moeblob sellout. The only time they produced anything good was Munto."

"Uwah...look at this hipster. Who even bothered watching that..."

"What was that? All I could hear was UGUU~ from a mouth that's almost in the same position as the nose!"

"Ahaha..." said Kosaki a little nervously. "Well, in any case, it's like that. Sometimes, things turn out better when you look at it from another angle..."

"Damn it, only fifteen minutes left..." said the labcoat girl, scratching her head furiously. Ruri's eyes were scanning and re-scanning the image with such speed that her glasses were fogging up.

"I can't believe that Boss is having so much trouble with something like this..." said one of the black suits.

"Maybe we should get some outside help. Like ask the CIA or the NSA."

"Are you serious? You do realize we have our own Japanese government intelligence agency that we could ask for help from. Look at this Hollywood idiot, jumping straight to begging America to help solve all the problems..."

"Didn't I tell you guys to shut the hell up!? How are we supposed to think like this!?"

The labcoat girl snapped, irritated to the limits of her patience. Not a single clue! She couldn't find anything even close to a hint at how to solve this puzzle. The labcoat girl bent over her legs, rubbing her palm fiercely into her forehead. Something. There had to be something. There was no way that there was nothing! Others had solved this puzzle before!

"Another angle..."

Ruri repeated her best friend's words. For some reason, they had stuck in her mind. Was there some other way to see this puzzle? Was there some sort of loophole that they were missing...some kind of trick...

"How did those perverts before us figure this out...?" said Ruri, eye twitching. As reluctant as she was to admit it, the previous renters of "Netorare Neko-chan!" must have been some amazing people...

Amazing...

People...

...

...

_Ah._

Their eyes met at the same time. On the faces of Ruri and the labcoat girl, an expression of sudden realization-

"There's no way..." started the labcoat girl.

"Yes...there's no way..." said Ruri.

The two of them looked over at the black suits playing with their paper cranes.

_There's no way idiots that'd rent something like that could possibly solve this puzzle!_

That was the conclusion that they reached.

"If that's the case..."

"Then we _did_ miss something."

"Another angle..." said Ruri again, a smile appearing on her face. "We need to look at this from their angle..."

_The angle of perverts!_

"Damn it, but they're all idiots...I don't know if I can bring myself down to their level..." said the labcoat girl.

_The angle of a pervert..._

Intense displeasure appeared on Ruri's face. But there was no choice. Only ten minutes of fuel were left now...

"Why even at a time like this..." said Ruri, clenching her fist. "Even at a time like this, he ends up being around..."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. There was no time to waste. As disgusting as this was, as repulsed as she felt, there was no way around it.

She had to look at this from the angle of perverts.

For just this moment-

Just for the sake of solving this puzzle-

Miyamoto Ruri had to think like Maiko Shu.

_Think...how would Maiko-kun approach this puzzle..._

The stone tablet appeared in her mind. The cat-like face of that perverted idiot popped up beside it.

_Ohohoho! What a fine mixture of quartz and feldspar...ehehe, such a treasure you see rarely nowadays! Ah, maybe it's fallen for me? Ahaha, it's such a delight to be in the presence of something so rocky and ancient-_

_..._

_No, Ruri...that's wrong. Even if he's an insufferable idiot, that's very, very wrong..._

Some other way. A less literal way. For example, how would Maiko Shu approach this problem from a logical point of view?

_HHMMM, I wonder if there's something naughty in these texts! If someone's taken the time to hide them, then they must really be quite something! Ohoho, I wonder if maybe there'll be some steamy scenes from the past that would definitely be too much for young children reading this to comprehend!_

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_

"Miyamoto...?"

"Ruri-chan!?"

"WAHH! Sh-Sh-She punched a hole straight through the basket!"

"S-Sorry..." said Ruri, her face turning red. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine. It seems like you're trying to go through with a difficult method," said the labcoat girl understandingly. "Just try to keep the collateral damage in check though."

"Y-Yes..."

Ruri took another deep breath and tried again. It was so irritating. Seeing that guy's smug face was really pissing her off more than usual. To think that she had to try and get into the head of someone like him...

Yeah...into the head of someone like him...

...

Wait a second.

...Didn't this mean that she could relate to him really easily now?

_WHAM! WHAM!_

"S-STOP IT! YOU'RE GOING TO DROP US ALL OUT OF THE SKY!"

Damn it. It just wasn't working! She couldn't do it. It was just too much. There was no way that she could get into Shu's head. She was getting shivers just thinking about it. In fact, her body was turning really warm! Her heart was beating like crazy!

_Wha..._

Ruri's eyes began spinning in spirals.

_What...What am I thinking!?_

The basket was saved from destruction with the valiant sacrifice of a few black suits, who offered to be punching bags.

"Y-You know...I think OW! I know why that OW! Rising Dragons guy was so into this kind of stuff..."

"Shh! You're OOWWOOHH...ruining it."

"Tch..."

The labcoat girl couldn't get her thoughts together. There were only five minutes of fuel left. True, they could cut into the small amount they'd reserved for landing, but that might make it riskier in the long run, especially since the other hunters were probably planning ambushes below them.

_Is this it? Is this all we could do in an hour? _

She let out a weary sigh and watched the black suits getting beat up. Heh. Honestly. To think that people like them had solved this head-stumper of a puzzle...what a world they lived in. It was almost enough to make her fall into depression. In fact, she was seriously starting to question the meaning of her existence.

"God, those perverts probably just posted it on the Internet or something too. What a goddamn laugh that'd be," said the labcoat girl, snorting.

...

Wait a minute.

* * *

**A/N: **_I'm back and rested from my trip! Which means more of this long, long bonus arc! Since it's gotten so long, I'm going to start adding titles back in. Anyways, I'll be moving pretty quickly here, so try and keep up! I've also reorganized some chapters (didn't know you could do that!) so that the chapter list is a bit neater.  
_


	37. HSKC 10 - And so, Society has a dilemma

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)  
**

**And so, Society has a dilemma  
**

_Part Ten  
_

* * *

"No more pink salon advertisements in magazines anymore...what's our country come to?"

By using the urban shortcuts, Shu's team had made it back to the Mitsuya without encountering any of the crowds that were still clogging up the streets of the Bonyari shopping district. Entering the Mitsuya had been like coming back to a ghost town; while previously, the aisles had been moderately packed with people browsing the store's catalog, it was completely empty now.

For that reason, Shu's comrades had decided to peruse the dirty magazines now that no one was around to make them feel uncomfortable while they were sneaking looks.

"Hold on a second. Why does it even matter if there are no pink salon advertisements. It's not like you'd ever go to one in the first place."

"Hmph. How naive. True, I'd be way too scared to step foot into a pink salon right now. But you know, once I'm a third-year and the popular phase of my life starts, I'm pretty sure that I'll have gotten enough experience to handle the advanced level of pink salons."

"Sorry, but that's not going to happen. Since _my_ popular phase is going to overshadow yours in third-year-"

"Woah, woah guys. I think you're all getting a little too excited here. It's obvious that _none_ of you guys will get a popular phase _ever_. I mean, come on. There's only so many girls in our school. How are you going to be popular when I've attracted them all with the great looks I develop from the final stages of puberty?"

Sparks began to fly as the members of Shu's team butted heads and growled at each other.

"Ok, I think we all know how we have to settle this..."

"Right...it can only be that way..."

All eyes turned to Girl A, who was looking at some newly released CDs on the wall.

"Huh?"

The cute yelp came as she felt dozens of gazes suddenly lasering in on her.

"You...You're a girl, right?"

"Eh...yes...I'm pretty sure I am."

"See that? A real girl. I think we can all accept her judgment as the final say on this matter."

"Well, if it's a real girl...I guess I can't have any complaints."

"Heh. Well, if you guys are fine with it..."

"Um...what exactly am I supposed to be judging..." said Girl A with a bewildered smile.

**"Which one of us is going to be popular!?" **shouted all of Shu's comrades together.

"E...Ehhhh..."

Girl A continued smiling, but all the light had left her eyes.

"Umm...I'm sorry. I can't..." said Girl A, waving her hand. "I'd just hurt your feelings."

_BANG!_

It was like a shotgun blast into the group! Several members keeled over from the blow.

"H-Hold on! You can't possibly compare me with these other guys! Look, I've already changed my style! My pants are just tight enough and I got a perm!"

"...Yeah. You do look pretty fashionable."

He looked back at the others with a triumphant grin.

"...So, what's your name again?"

A headshot. The others looked on in horror as the fashionable member fell to the ground, his eyes completely white.

"C-Cruel!"

"W-What is this!? I thought she was supposed to a tsundere healing type! But this is more like...an ice queen! It's the real 'Untouchable Queen'!"

"Wait, but doesn't that mean she has a warm, fuzzy side inside of her...?"

"She looks really warm and fuzzy right now."

"I want to take her home!"

"Uhm...could you please stop? You're creeping me out," said Girl A, her smile now icy. Shu's team roared in despair as they were blown away by the ferocious blizzard.

"Ahaha, you guys look like you're having a lot of fun! What's going on?"

"W-Wah! S-Senpai..."

Girl A's face reddened as Shu suddenly popped into the fray.

"AH! Did you see that!? That was definitely the warm and fuzzy side!"

"Because of Shu!? Are you saying that she has feelings for Shu!?"

"E-Ehh!? N-No! That's...that's not..."

Girl A looked over to see Shu's reaction. He looked back with a slightly questioning smile.

"Ah...I..." stammered Girl A, shoulders hunching up. "...Yes. I like Maiko-senpai..."

Silence. Immeasurable silence. Silence so deep that, for a second, Girl A wondered if she had gone deaf.

"U-Um...about that...even though I have feelings for Maiko-senpai, he's already reje-"

"D...Did you guys hear that?"

"Yeah...I can't believe it, but...my ears don't lie."

"It happened...it finally happened..."

Girl A blinked in surprise. Hm? Their reaction was a lot different from what she expected...

"THE NEW HKT48 SINGLE CAME OUUUTTT!"

"Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot! The album was being released in stores today, wasn't it!? Oh man, we are so lucky! This store is completely empty!"

Girl A stood frozen in place as the HKT48 song played from the speakers in the ceiling. Shu's comrades all ran past her to the wall of newly released CDs.

"O...Ohhh!"

Left behind by Shu's comrades, Nakano Shakai was still perusing his dirty magazine.

"A-Amazing...this person is just...wow..."

Shakai's eyes popped as he turned the page to a glorious pull-out pin-up poster.

"Ah...this idol, huh? You have good taste!"

"U-Uwah!" cried Shakai as Boy A suddenly appeared over his shoulder. "You scared me..."

"Why is that? It's not like you're going to get in trouble for reading a dirty magazine right now..."

"Well, that's not really the reason...but you're right about that," said Shakai, looking wistfully down at the magazine. "No one's going to say anything if I read this magazine here..."

"In the first place, you're old enough to read these without infringing on the law, aren't you?"

The shock on Shakai's face was of such intensity that it was clear that the thought had never crossed his mind.

"That's right...I'm a university student now..." said Shakai, bent over the shelf in shame.

"Ah, but I do understand," said Boy A, pulling a magazine from the shelf and flipping through it. "Even if you're old enough, you can't really shake off the feeling or something like that? It's true that if most people don't do it in broad daylight...you never know what someone's going to be thinking of you when you read something like this."

"Yeah...I guess that's right too..." said Shakai.

The thoughts of others around you. That was the key point in functioning within the boundaries of society.

It was only when you tried to join into society that you had to start to empathize with others. Sympathize with them. Understand them.

But there was no way to perfectly understand someone else without being them. The best you could do was create the illusion of understanding.

Either by fabricating the image of understanding-

Or by fabricating an image of the person that was close enough to the real thing-

_Ah, I know what you mean-_

_I get it, I get it-_

_I understand what you're going through because I went through the same thing-_

When you find someone that tries to understand you, that is the highest compliment you can receive. Because that means they are being considerate of you. That means that they are trying to build a relationship with you. A bridge that'll transform the fabrication into something else-

Friends. Best friends. Romantic partners. Family.

As you go through society, you'll receive different levels of understanding, different versions of fabrications that may or may not be like the real thing. Perhaps at some point, you'll just wish they were, and that wishful thinking will turn into your own fabrication, a self-delusion that makes sense because it's your reality-

But in society, very few will try to understand you.

They will try to understand a fabrication of you-

They may even try to understand the fabrication of a fabrication of you-

But why bother trying to understand the real thing?

Because true understanding requires the ability to empathize 100%, to become the person-

But if the qualities of the person are undesirable, if there's no way that you'd ever want to be like that person-

Then what is the point of trying to understand them?

Keep them at a distance.

Just get a surface look-

Because that's enough for your interactions with them-

It's not like it'll hurt anyone-

Not to mention, you don't really care anyways-

Since it's just common courtesy, after all.

If there was a difference between Shakai and his brother, it was that Shakai had accepted society and his brother hadn't. If there was a difference between Shakai and Shu's team, it was that he had clung to hopes while they had diverted their attention.

If it's not for the sake of building connections with someone-

If it's not for the sake of using someone-

Then there's only one other reason for understanding someone-

To become like them.

Debugging of the human meta at its finest.

What would the proper members of society think? How would the proper members of society react?

If it's not within their lines, then perhaps this is the wrong path of development-

Perhaps there are changes to be made-

It's not that the world is faulty; it's that I'm defective.

It wasn't self-pity. It wasn't low self-esteem or self-criticism.

It was just the acceptance of a set of facts built upon a certain worldview-

No matter how you looked at it, there was no other word for it but your "self" was there?

"Yeah...what am I doing right now?"

Dirty magazines...talking about a legendary porno...hanging with comrades of the same cloth-

That wasn't what Shakai had wanted, right?

It wasn't what his life had been for, right?

That's what his brother had done-

But he was different. Different from all of them. He hadn't rejected society.

He still wanted to be accepted.

"Maybe I really can't do this anymore..." said Shakai, putting the magazine back on the shelf. He looked back over his shoulder and saw the high school boys clamoring over the new HKT48 CD. _That's right...I'm not a kid anymore. I'm old enough to read dirty magazines. I have a job now. I have a goal in life and I'm working towards it, step by step._

_I'm a proper functioning member of society. _

"But really, this store certainly has some gems here. I need to examine this in more detail when this is all over..."

Boy A also put his magazines back on the shelf.

"...Hey, young man. Are you ok with that? Wasting your time on dirty magazines and anime...don't you have something else to do? A dream? Or a goal?" said Shakai, smiling wryly.

"Of course I do," said Boy A, without hesitation. "But I can always accomplish those things later. Right now, these are the things I need to do."

"E..Eh? What are you saying...? What you're doing right now is what you can always do later...in fact, it'll probably be easier to do when you're older-"

"Really? I don't think that's true..." said Boy A. "I mean...you don't do things like that anymore, do you Nakano-san?"

"Huh? What are you saying? Of course I do-"

Huh...?

_That era of your life is over!_ _Don't become like your brother!_

No...that's...

_How long had it been since he had last heard a conversation like this?_

"Is that true, Nakano-san? I'm impressed. I thought that an adult like you wouldn't really want to bother with childish things like this anymore..."

"What are you saying? Just because you grow older doesn't mean you can't-"

Shakai became silent. What was this...this thought he just spoke out loud?

H...He didn't really believe in something like that, right?

Because...

Because, wouldn't that just mean that all this time...

All that effort to keep himself away from that sort of thing-

...Hadn't it just been a waste?

"But a dream...huh? What about you, Nakano-san?"

"Huh?"

"Do you have one? A dream that you want to fulfill?"

_A dream..._

Shakai almost laughed out loud. A dream...someone like him with a dream? This person, whose only source of pride was that he had separated from the manic desires of his family and struck out on his own. Whose only badge of honor was having entered university with a part-time job as a video clerk on the side. This person, whose childhood dream to become a bearkeeper at a zoo had been destroyed by his brother's ever-growing fanaticism.

_A dream...huh? Yeah...maybe if I had a dream..._

But who was he kidding? The only dream that he had now was making enough rent to pay for his apartment fees. Maybe somewhere deep inside, there was also a dream to be in the top ten percent of his class by the time the semester ended. In fact, maybe if he handled things correctly, once he reached his third-year in university, he'd be able to secure an informal job offer from a big company. Then he could look forward to working towards a formal job offer by the time he graduated.

Then after that, he'd start his work at the company and get a monthly-based salary, one holiday per week, and annual paid leave starting from 6 months into his employment. As he got older, he'd get more free time to himself, but his workload would certainly increase. Eventually, there'd be a point where his skills would be outdated and his contributions to the company would be minimal. Maybe then he'd be offered a new position and work hard at something that was insignificant to the overall scheme of things until he reached retiring age.

Right, right. In fact, he had already given up on the prospect of marriage. Sure, it was probably something expected by his parents, but who cared about relationships with the opposite sex now!? Look at how it had ended up for his brother! Sure, he admired girls, sometimes even high school girls, even middle school girls at some point! But it wasn't like he'd ever have a chance with any of them. Not to mention he didn't have a clue at what he'd do if he somehow managed to get a girlfriend.

A date? What the heck was that? What was so fun about walking around together and holding hands? You'd just block people's way at the door! And shopping? If their interests didn't coincide, then it was guaranteed that shopping would just be a nuisance on both their parts! Why did they have to go shopping together? Wouldn't it be better just to order everything online anyways?

And the money! Eating out, going to the movies, maybe even riding on that 30-minute ferris wheel ride at Odaiba, it'd just suck up all his funds! There'd be nothing left for his retirement, especially since Japan's pension system was at risk with the aging population!

Yeah, what a bunch of bull. A dream, huh? His life couldn't afford a dream right now, much less expend any effort at obtaining one. That was just a fact. Sure, he had said earlier that age shouldn't stop someone from fulfilling their dreams. But! You had to have a dream first! And you couldn't just create one out of thin air! That wasn't a dream, that was just a way to kill time!

_That's right. I don't have something frivolous like a dream! I'm a properly functioning member of society! If I have a dream, it's to work hard to ensure that the rest of my life will pan out normally, peacefully, and without any hiccups! _

Yes, yes, yes! Pornos and dirty magazines. Otaku and high school girls. What had he been thinking? How had he gotten so sidetracked? Adventure and romance! This wasn't the kind of thing he should be thinking about! Look at him! He was just about to hack into his own store's database for god's sake! Was he insane!?

"Nope...I don't have a dream. And I don't have the time to go find one anyways. Besides, who cares about dreams! It's not like I would've have had any dreams worth pursuing after all. For example, that young blonde girl that was here earlier! Maybe if I was back in high school, I might've dreamed about getting together with her. But there's no way that'd happen now. And even if I did have a chance, is it even worth it? It's not like she's a princess or anything, right? There's no way that my life would be that fortunate. It's too risky to lay down the foundation of my current life just to chase after a girl that I might've gone *kyun* for!"

"Ohh...a blonde girl, was it? That sounds intriguing...please provide some more details on this blonde girl."

"Ah...that's...I mean, it wasn't like she wasn't pretty. She was definitely a model or something! Really beautiful! But she already had a boyfriend! So there's no helping it, right!? There was never any chance in the first place, right!?"

Shakai was crying again. Damn it all. Damn it, damn it, damn it! He'd fallen for it again! He had his hopes raised, even though he knew better! Had he already forgotten the axiom that had spawned from his life experiences with love?

_If there's a girl you can fall in love with, then she's surely being sought after by a guy better than you!_

"Hmm...a really beautiful blonde. It sounds very familiar to me...I wonder if I've seen this person before..."

"It doesn't matter," said Shakai, wiping his nose. "I probably won't see her again anyways. There's no way that life would be so generous to a loser like me."

"Well, it's true that you are a loser...'

"...Young man. Don't end up like me, ok?" said Shakai, sniffing. "I lectured you even though I'm more lost than any of you. I got my priorities mixed up and now it's too late. Even if I had one, there's no way someone like me will ever be able to fulfill something like a dr-"

"Ah...I remember now! Isn't that who you're talking about, Nakano-san?"

Shakai stopped his sniffling and looked to where Boy A was pointing.

One of the televisions in the Mitsuya was tuned into a local news station.

"What are you talking about...why would that girl be on the news right no-"

_...Eh?_

_...Eh!?_

_EHHHH!?_

Shakai's face plastered onto the television screen with such force that it was almost knocked off its stand.

It couldn't be...there was no way that she was-

But there was no mistaking it. The hint of strawberry in the tips of her blonde hair. The long lashes, the clear skin, the soft lips-

It was her. She was on television!

"Maruusha Lu Vieh Nonbeeri, huh...? Even though she's the princess of Nonbeeri Kingdom, she really does look a lot like Kirisa-"

"Ma...Maruusha..."

Shakai's face melted into a sappy, bubbling smile.

"Ehehe...Maruusha. What a beautiful name..."

"Huh? Do you really think so? I can't say that I agree..."

"I see...so she really was a princess. Then that means...that guy must've been her bodyguard. That's why he had a gun," said Shakai, slipping down onto his knees. "I met a real-life princess..."

"Hmmm...but this is a live recording from an international conference being held in Nonbeeri, so I must be wrong. If that's the case, then the person you actually met might be Kirisa-"

Boy A's words were interrupted by a long, intense wail from Shakai. He stood up, no, _bounced_ up, energetically, vibrantly, and clasped Boy A's hands.

"Young man. Thank you. You've shown me something important here today!"

"Eh? An international news broadcast...?"

"You've shown me that dreams aren't just for people in their youth," said Shakai, flashing a smile that was so bright that Boy A's eyes began to water. "Ehehe...Maruusha, huh? Nakano Maruusha...ehehe~ it doesn't sound half bad..."

"Uh...excuse me. I'll be honest and say that I was really just trying to cheer you up earlier. But you are getting a little too eager about this-"

"Dreams...huh?"

Suddenly, the two of them were surrounded by the rest of Shu's team.

"Eh? What? What's going on?" said Boy A.

"Hehe. Take a look, you guys. Mama mia says he's got a dream now."

"Even though just 30 minutes ago, he was divulging tightly-kept secrets under our expert interrogation skills..."

"No, no, all we did was make him cry. And what does this have to do with dreams!?"

"Old man (no, no, he's only two years older than us at the most!), don't you think you're overextending yourself? It's not like just anybody can have a dream (yes, they can! That's the point of a dream!). What makes you think that someone like you can all of a sudden build yourself up like you're a shonen manga protagonist or something?"

"It's true that I'm far from what I was in my prime (you've already peaked!? Your life is going by way too fast, dude!), but there's no denying what I'm feeling right now."

Shakai turned to Shu's comrades with eyes of roaring fire!

"Right now, I'm in love! And you know what, when you're in love, nothing makes any sense! And for once in my life, I'm fine with that. I'm willing to just go with the flow and see how things turn out. Because these new feelings that have grown inside my heart...if I keep them inside...my heart will burst!"

"Hey, hey, you guys! Stop acting like he said something cool there!"

Shu's comrades had used their hands to cover the tears flowing from their eyes.

"Me too...I have feelings like that for someone too..."

"It's not like...I don't understand. Because I do. I understand...on the instinctive level of a human being that has evolved to meet the needs of a modern civilization..."

"Are you guys kidding me!? You're telling me that you're going to back down from your hardass stance just because he said something you can relate to!? I mean, seriously! Come off it, you guys! I...It's not like...It's not like we weren't all dreamers in the first place...uuhuu..."

The straight man of Shu's team began crying with the rest of them.

"N-Nakano-san..." said Boy A, also crying with them. "P-Please allow me to call you my 'Second-Rate Master.'"

"But a princess, huh? You've chosen a hard path, old man..."

"Yeah...we struggle with just high-spec high school girls like Kirisaki Chitoge, Onodera Kosaki, and Kanekura Yui (she's a teacher!). When you compare your love to ours, its clear that you have to climb a much steeper wall."

"Damn it...I don't want to admit it, but you've inspired me. Alright, take it! Just take it, you bastard!"

The new HKT48 single was offered to Shakai.

"Me too...Take mine too!"

"This is our investment in your efforts, Mama mia! Take these CDs of ours...and show that princess what you're really made of!"

An entire stack of CDs were now in Shakai's hands.

"Everyone..." said Shakai, clenching his glistening eyes shut. "Thank you...I won't forget this."

"Hmph...even if you're not an official comrade, we know our kind when we see them," said one of Shu's comrades with a thumbs-up.

"Yeah. It'd be a disgrace if we didn't give a struggling comrade a push when they need it," said another of Shu's comrade with a thumbs-up.

"After you get together with the princess...you better treat me to some delicious Nonbeeri food," said one more of Shu's comrades with a thumbs-up.

"AHHH, shit! I could've said that...Damn it! I wasted my supportive remark!" Thumbs-up.

"Don't worry...I won't let any of your guys' support go to waste," said Shakai. Two thumbs-up.

"Do your best, Second-Rate Master," said Boy A, dragging over Girl A's thumb.

"W-What are you doing with my thumb!?"

"Now that I have a dream...I suppose I should hurry up and help you guys," said Shakai, turning to the service desk where he worked at.

"What are you talking about...?" said Shu, appearing behind them with his hand to his chin. "Isn't it obvious that among us, love comes first?"

"Senpai, you know what they're talking about!?"

"No, I don't. But love is always the answer!" said Shu, thrusting his fist out.

"Ah...could it be that the manager's password is...!?" said Shakai, hurrying over to his computer.

"NOOOO!"

_BOOM!_

Shu's team was knocked back as an explosion of flames erupted in front of them.

"To think that you already figured out my password...as I expected, I can't underestimate you hunters..."

The Mitsuya manager stood in front of them, blocking the path to the computer!

"That's what you want us to think...but the truth is that your real password is different, isn't it!?" said Shu, pointing an accusing finger at the manager.

"W-What!? It is!?" said Shakai.

"My password isn't 'LoveXJapan4Ever' !?" said the manager, in shock. "Ah, you tricked me!"

"As I thought, we'd have to face off with the boss sooner or later," said Shu, grinning.

_Eh? _thought Girl A, looking at Shu's confident expression. _Could it be that Senpai let all this commotion happen to lure the manager and drop his guard-_

"Well-played, hunter. Or shall I say Premium Customer ID 102345, Maiko Shu!"

"Eh!? You actually shop here, Senpai!?"

"My membership is premium!?" said Shu.

"That's right...if you had wanted, you could've gotten 10% store credit on all purchases you made in the past year, with an additional 8% off for taxes..."

Shu lurched back, as if an uppercut had connected with his chin.

"S-SENPAI!"

"Khh...not bad, manager," said Shu, struggling back into a solid stance. "As I thought, you're a fearsome obstacle...I'm sure that there's no way we can take you on in a fair fight."

"Indeed. There is no chance for you to win, Maiko Shu," said the manager. "Although, I must express my admiration for your strategy; no other hunters have ever thought of using social engineering to gain access to confidential information about previous renters."

"Thanks for the compliment," said Shu, panting to catch his breath.

"Maiko-senpai..." said Girl A. The previous blow had been a critical hit. She wasn't sure how much more Shu could take. And the rest of the team had cowered back behind him! "Senpai, maybe it's better if we retreat for now. You're in no state to continue fighti-"

"Sorry...but I can't do that," said Shu, looking forward. "I don't get many chances to show off my manly side, you know?"

Looking at his eyes that were filled with determination...

Girl A couldn't muster the strength to reject his stance. Her heart squeezed as she realized that she had never expected him to back down anyways.

"Don't worry," said Shu, giving her a reassuring smile. "Even if it looks like this, there's one thing that you can count on."

His hands turned into a blur and a spread of photographs appeared between his fingers.

"Every man has his price!" said Shu, eyes blazing. A photograph went flying at the manager, the store's lights revealing in the photograph the form of a busty, fair-skinned girl in a tight pink bikini-

"NAIVE!"

The photograph was repelled by sheer willpower from the manager.

"What was that!? He rejected the great *izuki Hoshina!?"

"That bastard! And you call yourself a man!?"

"Heh...so that wasn't to his taste then, huh? Then how about this!"

Shu threw three photographs at the manager, each depicting a different cute, slender girl with vibrant patterns on their clothing that accentuated the gentle S-curves of their bodies-

Shu and his team took an involuntary step back as a scorching wave buffeted against them. The three photographs had been incinerated into ash.

"Maiko Shu...it is with honest regret that I admit that we do not know each other very well. There was no reason for us to maintain close contact as you are just as knowledgeable in the treasured media of our country as I am," said the manager with a solemn expression. "However, even then, you have still disappointed me..."

Shu answered with a questioning look. The manager stretched out his hand towards the burnt remains of the prized photographs.

"YOU THINK THAT I, THE OWNER OF A VIDEO RENTAL STORE THAT HAS STOOD IN BONYARI FOR YEARS, WOULD FALL FOR PHOTOS OF MERE GRAVURE IDOLS!?"

The declaration cut through Shu like a knife. Of course...this man wasn't just a normal employee. He was the one that checked and approved for every piece of media in the store. Even if he didn't want to, he would surely be exposed to more material than the average person.

Yes...to be constantly bombarded by females of the highest quality through big budget movies, adult videos, gravure DVDs, idol pinups, and fashion magazines-

A thought came to Shu. Perhaps...it was almost impossible, but perhaps this manager, after being exposed to such a flood of incredible girls day-in and day-out...

Perhaps this man had...

"Answer me one question..." said Shu, his expression hidden in shadow. "Manager...are you married?"

"Hoho. It seems that you understand now," said the manager. "And my answer to you is this...NO, I AM NOT! IN FACT, I HAVE NEVER PINED FOR A SINGLE GIRL SINCE MY DAYS IN UNIVERSITY! There's no way that I'll ever settle for anything less than perfect C-cup breasts that look like they've been sculpted by God himself! Dyed hair!? Forget it! And she better have a high-paying job that can support me financially while not caring about having kids and being open to various sexual activities. In fact, it'd be best if she's callous to everyone else, but has a warm, doting personality just for me! And of course, she has to be a virgin as well!"

Shu and his comrades were overwhelmed by the manager's declaration. To think that such a man existed...it was something that they had never imagined seeing in Bonyari...

But yes. The manager had achieved this level...this worldview that only the most herbivore and reality-disconnected males attained-

**Incredibly high standards.**

"It's Shu's only weakness! A guy that has no intentions of settling for a girl with even a semblance of a flaw! Someone who just spends all their time daydreaming about perfect 2D and pseudo-3D girls that only exist in fantasy!"

"Maiko, you have to stop! You can't fight against a monster like that! Even with Photoshop, you can't compete with someone's own imagination!"

"Ahh...gross..." said Girl A, involuntarily speaking her true thoughts. "So gross..."

"But you know...there's still hope in all of this," said one of Shu's comrades.

"Yeah...the one good thing about having a guy like that," said another.

**"At least we know that we'll never get as bad as him,"** said Shu's team, striking contemplative poses.

"Even if it's true, there's nothing good about that! It just means we're all delusional!" said the straight man.

"Men...don't falter."

Everyone looked up as Shu spoke, still looking straight on at the monster they were facing.

"I'll say it again. Every man has his price," said Shu, taking a photograph out from his shirt pocket. "Even men that are no longer men..."

"What did you say!? I'm still a man! There just aren't any girls good enough for me!" said the manager.

"If girls don't interest you anymore, then can you really call yourself a man!?" said Shu. "But don't worry...even for someone like you...I have the perfect product!"

"Heh...DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH, MAIKO SHU!" said the manager, flames bursting from his body. "THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOU CAN OFFER ME THAT I HAVEN'T ALREADY SEEN A THOUSAND TIMES IN MY STORE'S INVENTORY!"

"A photographer's job is to amaze his audience with different perspectives of the same-old world," said Shu, holding the photograph between two fingers. "I'll show you right now...the true power of Maiko Shu!"

The photograph flew through the air, slicing through the manager's flames.

"USELESS! No matter what you show me, I'll never CONSIDER BUYING IT!" said the manager, another wave of willpower blasting from him. "THAT PHOTOGRAPH OF YOURS IS JUST SUBSTANDARD TRASH THAT'LL NEVER EVEN GET PAST THE MAIL DESK!"

"Look closely..." said Shu, struggling to stand against the manager's aura. "I guarantee you, this isn't just your regular naughty photograph!"

"Hah! Is that so!?" said the manager, his eyes focusing in on the photograph. As the light caught its surface, he saw the figure captured by Shu's camera. "I see...very shrewd, Maiko Shu! But you've underestimated me if you think that sort of photograph will faze me!"

On the ultimate weapon of Maiko Shu-

A picture of a little girl wearing a labcoat.

"Even if there are no girls that are worthy of my affections, I'm still an honorable human being! I'm sorry, but CHILD PORN IS STILL A NO FOR ME!"

Grin.

Shu's glasses flashed.

"That's your mistake, manager."

"What...?"

"I too haven't descended to the depths of sexualizing children," said Shu, reviving Girl A who had fainted from seeing that Shu had taken indecent pictures of a little girl. "What that photograph contains isn't just a little girl! That's a loli...a real-life, flesh and bone, LEGAL LOLI!"

_Wha..._

_WHHHHAAAAATTTT!?_

"Not just baby-faced! Not just petite in body! But having the true physical form of a young, innocent girl! Yet, her birth records will show that she is over the age of 25! Yes, this is a **TRUE LEGAL LOLI!** A perfect female that can incite both feelings of moe and sexual arousal without skirting around any legal grey areas! The black and white is that this is _burriko_ at its most pure, natural form! That is, not a performance, but EXISTENCE!"

Shu flashed more pictures from his arsenal, all depicting the Boss in a variety of compromising, but strangely wholesome poses.

"Something that will never be found in any of your fantasies...this is a product that could only be created from the interference of reality on the feelings of men!"

A TRUE LEGAL LOLI.

The idea of true lolis and legal lolis come from the taboo of sexualizing children! Yet, modern society has gradually embraced, sometimes covertly, sometimes openly, the power of cute, the power of precision infantilizing to create stirring feelings of affection that are not centered around sexuality, but rather, the feeling of pure love at its core! Yes, the feeling of wanting to be with someone, nurturing and being nurtured by, growing together, slowly opening their hearts to each other, fostering trust, companionship, and loyalty, the emotions that push a man to protect his woman-

"This subject is the epitome of moe, the peak of cute, the most radical kind of counterculture! Something that spits in the face of socially accepted rules and behaviors, but embraces it at the same time! A paradoxical idol, an impossible dream come to reality!"

Shu held the photographs out to the manager, the wind of his attack riffling through his clothes-

"This is what I offer to you, manager. Now then, what will it be?"

The manager stared at the photograph blankly.

"...But it's still a little girl?"

"Of course."

...

A stack of credit cards were produced.

"I'll take everything you have."

Everyone watching had their mouths open so wide that they cramped their jaws.

"MAAAAIIKOOOWWWWW!"

"YOU DID IT, MAIKO! YOU OW REALLY DID IT!"

"Senpai! Maiko-senpai! I'm sorry that I doubted you! I knew that you wouldn't really try and sell child porn!"

"As expected of Master, but still! Such a great victory," said Boy A, weeping in awe.

"I see. If something crazy like that exists in real life then maybe I really do have a chance with Maruusha!" said Shakai, also weeping.

"And of course, we'll need access to your customer database," said Shu, transferring the appropriate images to a discreet envelope.

"Shakai has my permission to access the database freely for your cause," said the manager, happily receiving the envelope.

"And that's a sale!"

* * *

"Well, Nakano? What does it say?"

Shu and his team were crowded around Shakai as they went through the information on the last renter of "Netorare Neko-chan!"

"We're in luck! It seems that we have a full profile of this person on our database," said Shakai. "Including an address, phone number, and photograph! It seems that he first came here as a foreigner, so we have a copy of his passport!"

The team cheered at having hit such a gold mine of information.

"Alright then, let's get cracking," said Shu, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Time to find this guy's location."

* * *

"I still can't believe it...the answer was here all along..."

A quick Internet search. Of course, "Netorare Neko-chan!" hadn't been used in the post, likely in order to prevent other hunters from being led to the answer by simple search queries. However, the inscription had been copied in full to the Internet through JPEG files. Technology like this might not have existed in the previous "Netorare Neko-chan!" hunts, but in today's digital age, there existed something called Googol Image Search by image-

"Of course 2ch figured it out..." said the labcoat girl, curled up and shaking in frustration.

"But we know where it is now, isn't that what matters?" said Kosaki. Ruri and the labcoat girl stared daggers back at her. "Ah...I mean...um...I'm sorry..."

"Well, in any case...we got the answer just in time," said the labcoat girl. They were already starting to make their descent through some clouds to hide their trajectory. "If this cloud cover keeps up, we should be able to just fly right over to the spot."

"Oh, that's good. I should tell Chitoge-chan then so she can meet up with us there..."

"Use my phone, Onodera. This information is crucial, so we need to make sure it'll be on a clean call," said the labcoat girl, handing her the phone. Ruri nodded in agreement and Kosaki took the phone.

_Ring. Ring._

_Click._

"Ah, Chitoge-chan? It's me, Kosaki. We found 'Netorare Neko-chan!'"

* * *

Back in the Bonyari shopping district, as Kirisaki Chitoge and Tsugumi Seishirou talk on their cell phone-

"I see...so that's where it is..."

The figure listening in the crowd chuckles and slips away to get more fried chicken in a cup.

* * *

"Hey, Ryuu..."

"Yes, Bocchan! What can I do for you?"

"Have you ever heard of 'Netorare Neko-chan!'?"

"No...I can't say I have. Is it an enemy alias?"

"I don't think so..." said Raku as the Shuei-gumi sped to downtown Bonyari inside a sleek black limousine. Raku scratched his head. Was he overthinking things? But...no matter how he thought about it, that sort of questionable title...

Raku turned on his phone and opened up a browser page. Well, not like a Googol search couldn't hurt.

"Let's see...oh, there's some results..."

_Hmm?_

_HMMM?_

"Bocchan? Bocchan, is there something wrong?" asked Ryuu as he noticed Raku's face turning extremely pale.

_Chitoge..._

_Why do you know the title of a porno!?_

* * *

**A/N:** _As you may have noticed, I posted a pilot for a new Nisekoi story based in an alternate fantasy universe. As plot points have developed, I've been itching to get started on it. However, I don't want the difference in tone to interfere with my writing for this fic, so I'm aiming to finish this arc first at least before starting!_

_On another note, I did manage to have fried chicken in a cup recently. It was tasty, but the price! But so tasty...maybe it was worth it...  
_


	38. HSKC 11 - A Bonyari Situation

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)**

**A Bonyari Situation**

_Part Eleven  
_

* * *

Shortly before the descent of the hot-air balloon-

In downtown Bonyari, at a local cafe that served great ice Dutch coffee-

Black Suit #369 was contemplating matters of great importance.

"...As I thought, it really is my fault."

#369 sighed and sipped some of his coffee through a bendy straw. It had been around two weeks since the Bonyari Invasion. After they had successfully escaped the school, the Black Suits had been treated to WcDonald's ice cream by the labcoat girl for their hard work that day. Although, for some reason, she had made them eat their ice creams as quickly as possible. And she had ordered three tonkatsu burger sets just for herself...

But the point was that they had gotten free ice cream! Yay! It wasn't a treat that happened often, especially for the lower-rank Black Suits. Many of them had been living off ketchup packets for the past several months. It was true that the "Shield of False Love" was a large and successful organization, but most of their money came from the collective wages of all the Black Suits that had part-time jobs. The economy had gotten rough recently, however, so many Black Suits had gotten laid off and the organization's cash flow had stymied.

In any case, after the events of the Invasion, the Black Suits had returned to their headquarters for a debriefing from the labcoat girl.

"Ehem. Testing. Testing. Ah ah ahh. Ahhhhh."

"Man. No matter how many times I hear it, the Boss's loli voice is so cute," said one of the Black Suits, sighing contently. "It makes me feel all happy inside you kno- what the hell!? Are you _recording_ this!?"

"Yeah. Isn't the Boss's loli voice so cute? I uploaded recordings on Youtube and we get 50,000 views a day!"

"What!? You posted recordings of our secret organization meetings on Youtube!?"

"That's right...the online presence of our Boss alone rakes in over 10 million yen in revenue every year!"

"You idiot! I can't believe you just put up super secret meetings online for the whole world to see! What's the point of us being an organization in the shadows if you're going to plaster us on the world's TV screen- wait what. 10 million yen a year!? With only 50,000 views a day!?"

"Fufufu. Yes...50,000 views on Youtube. But we also have a page for the Boss on Niconico, on FC2, mixi, and Facebook! We've got a significant following for her in certain parts of Canada too with the establishment of her new Kik account."

"...What? What the heck is Kik? And why do we have fans of the Boss in Canada!?"

"It's all part of the plan we were given by our new Chief of Brand Consolidation and Social Network Interactions. See, until now, our organization hasn't had a face that we could put our manifesto behind and without a public image, we can't really raise much funding, you know? I mean, even the white masks with the red cross marks got kicked out in the first few chapters!"

"...Are you listening to yourself!?"

"Look, hear me out. Now that the economy's gone downhill, we need to do something to ensure that our organization doesn't end up filing for bankruptcy! I mean, a lot of our Black Suit members are already talking about going into early retirement, since they don't have faith in our country's pension system lasting much longer-"

"Have you talked to the Boss about this? Do you know what's going to happen once this gets out to the higher-ups-"

The Black Suit's outburst halted as his eyes scanned over the financial sheet that he had been passed.

"...Are you serious? _That_ much-"

"Shhh. We're putting it all onto off-shore accounts. You know, kind of like a big surprise. I mean, look. I know it sounds bad, taking secret pictures of our Boss, releasing photobooks with those secret pictures, and creating a massive fanbase of pedophiles and sexual deviants. But you know that we only have good intentions at heart! We love the Boss and she's done so much for us since we joined the organization. We just wanted to show her our appreciation by making sure that the financial side of the organization is all taken care of."

"...Who did this? What kind of monster could have the ability to create such a rising social presence completely in the shadows of the Internet-"

"This Maiko guy's a legend. He's got all sorts of things happening under the wraps that we don't even know half of-"

"HEY! YOU IDIOTS IN THE BACK. SHUT UP!"

And so, the debriefing of the Bonyari Invasion began.

"Ok, so first thing's first. Let's get this out of the way before you guys start talking among yourselves and making up stupid rumors. I _didn't lose. _Circumstances changed and I had to adapt our plans accordingly. Understand?"

"Yes, Boss," said all of the Black Suits.

"But we technically lost, right?" whispered one of the Black Suits.

"We totally lost."

"I heard Kirisaki Chitoge beat up the Boss."

"_No way!_ Seriously? Damn, she's more hardcore than I thought! Who could raise a hand against the Boss when she's such a cute little girl?"

"I know right, I'm not sure if I want to be a Chitoge fan anymore."

"You guys should've been there. I totally saw a panty shot while the Boss was flying around."

"PANTY SHOT!?"

"You lucky bastard!"

"Did you take a picture?"

There was an ear-piercing crack as the table splintered under the labcoat girl's fingers.

"You know...for a while now, I've been hearing some _bullshit_ being muttered by some poor saps that must know better," said the labcoat girl, the entire table starting to shake under the pressure of her fingers. "So, let's hear it. Does anyone here have something they _really_ want to get out there?"

Silence. A cough. A paranoid pile-up on the person who had coughed.

"Alright then," said the labcoat girl. She sniffed and began shuffling papers. "...You jerks."

It was as if spears had flown out and struck everyone in the room.

"...It's not like I want to know or anything," continued the labcoat girl, sniffing more frequently now. "And it's not like...you guys are always whispering among yourselves...always leaving me out of the loop...I'm fine with that. There's no helping it, right! Since...I'm the Boss and you guys are my lackeys...of course, you don't want to talk to me..."

"Boss...no, that's not-"

"Stop it! Stop...I know what you're feeling, but don't do it!" cried one of the Black Suits, also weeping as he tried to hold back his comrade.

"What...What are we doing? How could we do this to the Boss..."

"Shut up...don't...I'm going to cry too. But this is...for the Boss's own good..."

"Damn it...why do we live in a world that requires money!"

For about fifteen minutes, an organization-wide crying session was held. Some members completely broke down and had to be escorted off the premises for dignity's sake.

Ah wait wait-

He was getting off-topic now.

Back to the point he had been trying to make-

Fast-forwarding ››

Stop. Play.

"Moving onto matters of more importance, #369 helped destroy a young girl's love letter and made her cry."

"H-Hold on a second! That's more important than the fact that #5 is fighting against a giant dragon monster that got released in the sewers of Bonyari!?"

"Hah? Of course it's more important, you dolt! You assisted in destroying a priority target! And then broke the heart of a little sister character! Do you know what you've become now? You've become an enemy of all little sister otak- I mean, an enemy of all women in the world!"

"Wait a minute, why am I being hated by women for this!?"

"Well, in any case, you did fulfill the mission I gave you. So I reward you with this coupon for one free drink with a purchase of any regular-priced menu item at WcDonald's."

"Oh wow! Thanks a lot, Boss!"

"But, you made Onodera Haru cry, which wasn't part of the plan, so I need to punish you for that as well. I order you to use that coupon and purchase a chicken sandwich with extra mayo."

There was a gasp from the audience.

"E-Extra mayo...but it already has so much mayo..."

#369 fell onto all fours, devastated by his punishment.

"Also, it seems that Black Suit #163 has something to say to you."

The labcoat girl waved her hand and space was made in the ranks around #163.

"..."

With tears streaming down his eyes, #163 thrust out a uniform hung onto a coat hangar.

"This is a Bonyari High School girl's uniform with a first-year ribbon, specially tailored to match Onodera Haru's uniform down to this tiny fading stain in the corner where she accidentally dripped some red bean paste-"

"But that's not _really_ Onodera Haru's uniform, is it!? That's just a replica, right!?"

"Apologize..."

"Huh?"

"APOLOGIZE TO HARU-CHAN, RIGHT NOW!" shouted #163, crying openly.

"That's not even her uniform!"

"I'm sorry...Haru-chan...I wasn't able to protect you..." said #163, hugging the uniform tightly to his chest.

"#163...look. I'm sorry, ok? I really didn't mean it..."

"Don't apologize to me...apologize to Haru-chan. Apologize...and ask for forgiveness. And she will be lenient. She will be understanding. Praise Haru-chan, may she live forever."

"What is she, a deity now!?"

"Anyways, that's all for you," said the labcoat girl, yawning. "Let's move onto your accomplice in the deed, #10-"

"APOLOGIZE TO HARU-CHAN RIGHT NOW!"

"What the- damn it Satou, get that crap out of my face-!"

"HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF, YAMADA-SAN-"

"STOP RUBBING THAT UNIFORM ON ME, YOU BASTARD!"

And so, going back to the present time at the local Bonyari cafe-

The problem that #369 was having was trying to figure out how he could apologize properly to Onodera Haru.

#10 had told him not to worry about it, but #369 couldn't get it off his mind. Although he hadn't been the one that actually fired the shot, it was cold, hard fact that it had only been due to his supporting efforts that #10 had been able to successfully decimate that letter.

"_If you make this shot #10, you might get a pay raise!"_

"_Heh. Finally, I'll be rich enough that the cheapest thing I eat won't be beef bowls, but Spam!"_

"_#10, have you heard of the "army stew" they have in South Korea? It's like a spicy hotpot...and they put real Spam in there! The Spam soaks up all of that spicy broth and creates this salty, savory flavor that's said to be unrivaled!"_

"_Oh, is that true!? Alright then, I'll definitely get this shot off! Those damn import rates on Spam...I'LL SURPASS THEM AND HAVE DELICIOUS SPICY HOTPOT!"_

And of course, after the Invasion, they had eaten the hotpot at #10's house.

"Damn it...it was so delicious...but it was cooked on the back of a little sister's love..."

There had to be something that #369 could do to make amends. And it was for that reason that he was now at this cafe, jotting down ideas on a notepad.

The first idea had been inviting Onodera Haru to an "army stew" party! However, that idea had quickly been shot down by #10.

"Hah? Why do I have to share my Spam with that brat?"

"YAMMAADAAA!"

The second idea had been helping Onodera Haru with her feelings for Ichijou Raku. However, that idea had been quickly shot down by #163.

"I WON'T GIVE HARU-CHAN TO ANYONE, NOT EVEN THE PERSON THAT'LL MAKE HER THE HAPPIEST IN THE WOR-"

"SATTOUUU!"

And so on. Honestly, it was really tough thinking of a way to make things up to a girl. Not to mention that #369 didn't really have much experience in the matter. After all, he didn't have any experience with girls. In fact, even though it was surprising considering his age, he had never even had something like a "first love" before.

_Is it even possible for someone like me to communicate with a girl...?_

#369 sighed again. True, he was able to talk fine with the Boss. But the Boss was a little girl. Onodera Haru was well on her way to being a woman, even if she was a little sister. Not to mention that he had once considered joining the Haru fanclub. There was just something about that stubborn cowlick on her head...

#369 slurped the last bit of his ice coffee and sprawled out on his table. Maybe he just wasn't cut out for this. Perhaps it was best if he contacted some others for advice. Didn't Onodera Haru have a friend named Fuu-chan? No no...wait. If it was to ask for advice, wouldn't the best person be someone who had known Onodera Haru her entire life? Yes...someone who he wouldn't have any trouble talking to because there was no chance at a relationship in the first place...maybe even an age gap that would ensure that he wouldn't feel flustered at all...

...

...hmm.

Hmmmmmm.

HHHMMMMM.

...Nothing. Perhaps he would have to think about this a little harder.

As #369 began scribbling on his notepad again, a black limousine pulled up to the local Bonyari cafe. The back doors opened and a certain Bonyari high school student stepped out, with a small army of men in tow.

_...He really is just drinking ice coffee._

Ichijou Raku closed the door behind him and scratched his head. Something about this felt really off.

Ok. Recap. Ichijou Raku decided that he would go over everything that he could remember about Chitoge's call.

First off, Onodera Kosaki had been kidnapped. That was one thing that couldn't be denied. He had tried calling Kosaki and also called her house. It seemed that no one knew where she was.

Second, a hot-air balloon was involved. Ryuu and the others had been tracking one in the sky, but it had vanished from sight.

Third, Chitoge had said that Kosaki might be safe and the Black Suits didn't have any bad intentions. Which ran counter to what he remembered about the Bonyari Invasion.

Fourth, Chitoge had told him to _catch up_ to the Black Suits. Not stop them or to fight them. But catch up.

Ok, now that he had all of this information put together, Raku looked over at the Black Suit scribbling hastily on a notepad at a table outside a local cafe.

No matter how he looked at this, he couldn't feel any dangerous intentions here.

_Which means...I'm missing something..._

Raku thought that with a twitching smile. He had been able to get a call through to Chitoge before he left, but he hadn't heard any of her incoming calls because of the rush to the city. And of course, when he tried to call her back just now, her phone had been busy. He had left a text just in case, but still no reply.

And, as if some higher-being in this world had developed a grudge against him, his phone was running out of power. Which meant, in a few minutes, he'd have no way to contact Chitoge at all.

_...So, I guess this is the only way, huh?_

"Ryuu. Tell the guys to stay close, but don't do anything yet. Just try to act normal," said Raku, walking over to the Black Suit's table. "We're going to talk to him and figure out what's going on."

"Understood, Bocchan. Wait for Bocchan's orders! Pass it down!"

"Kuuu! Bocchan's orders, huh!? How long have we been waiting for those words to be said?"

"Bocchan's first mission! We got there too late last time he called for us, so this time, we'll have to work extra hard!"

"Idiots, you guys should be working extra hard all the time for Bocchan!"

"YEAHH!"

_Didn't I tell you guys to act normal!?_

Raku sighed in exasperation as they neared the Black Suit. This was going to be a problem. The Black Suit had noticed their approach. He had started to quiver in fear the moment Ryuu and the guys had come into sight.

"Hold on!" said Raku, holding out his hands in a gesture of peace. "We just want to talk. I mean, I just want to talk. These guys here are uhh...my family. I know they look rough, but they're really nice! Honest!"

Ryuu and the others looked at the Black Suit with murderous glares.

"A Black Suit, huh...? Weren't they the guys that messed up Bocchan's school two weeks ago?"

"Yeah...and chased down Bocchan and his women..."

"Unforgivable...these bastards..."

"WAIT A MINUTE!" said Raku, hastily trying to pacify the Shuei-gumi members. "I told you guys to act normal! Look, I just want to talk to him, ok? We're not here to fight or anyth-"

"Y-You...you're..."

The Black Suit fell off his chair, pointing a trembling finger at Raku.

"Don't freak out! I promise, these guys aren't going to hurt you!" said Raku, trying to cover up the killing intent that was swirling around behind him. "I just want to talk!"

"I-I-I..."

"Huh? I? You mean 'It's fine?'" asked Raku hopefully.

"ICHIJOU RAKUUU!"

The Black Suit howled and hid under his table in complete terror.

"H..HUH!? W-Wait a minute! Why are you scared of me!?"

Raku ran up to the table and ducked down to look at the Black Suit. The Black Suit squeaked at the movement and crawled under another table.

"Hey...Hey!" said Raku, chasing after the Black Suit. "Don't run! I need to talk to you about something important!"

"I don't know! I don't know anything!" said the Black Suit, crawling under legs, skirts, jeans, and empty chair legs. There were cries of surprise and indignation, along with slaps to Raku's face.

"Why am I getting hit!?"

Finally, Raku was able to corner the Black Suit inside the cafe.

"Ah...dear customers, what can we do for yo-"

"Matcha latte!"

"Blend coffee!"

The cafe employees looked momentarily stunned as the Shue-gumi began putting out orders. Raku looked back at them with momentary embarrassment.

"W-What do you want from me...?"

The Black Suit whimpered, curled up against the wall.

"Like I said, I just want to talk," said Raku, turning back to him.

"T-Talk about...?"

"Onodera-san," said Raku, glad that he was starting to make headway. "I need to know if you know anything about Onodera Ko-"

"I knew it..."

"-saki's kidnappin- huh? What did you say?"

"I knew it...so that's why you came here..."

"What..." said Raku, panic suddenly surging through him. "You knew? You...what do you know? What did you guys do to Onodera!?"

"I knew it...I knew it! Onodera Haru sent you, didn't she!? I swear, I was going to apologize! I was going to do a hotpot party with Spam, but they said no, and I had to think of something else, but I couldn't think of anything because I've never interacted with a high school girl before and I didn't know what to do-"

"What? What are you talking about? Haru-chan? What's she got to do with this?" said Raku. But the Black Suit didn't listen, just continued to blubber on and on. "Hey! Get a hold of yourself! Look, I need you tell me if you know anything about where Onodera Kosaki is right no-!"

"Ah, welcome!"

The bell at the door tinkled. Raku stopped talking as he realized how loud his voice had gotten. But he wasn't yelling or anything. He was talking at the same volume at he had been the entire time. Which meant...

The bustling Shue-gumi members had become silent. The employees were bewildered once again, but this time because of the animosity filling the air-

"Oh...? To think that I'd meet you rats here..."

That voice-

Raku twisted around, unable to believe that he could be here-

"Claude?"

* * *

In the Bonyari shopping district-

Chitoge and Tsugumi were still...

Stuck in a line.

"WHAT IS UP WITH THISSSS!? This chicken doesn't even taste that good!"

"Ojou, please...you're already on your tenth cup. You'll ruin your appetite for dinner..."

Chitoge reluctantly handed the cup over to Tsugumi. But jeez! What the hell was with this crowd!? How could an entire shopping district be bottlenecked so completely? The power of desperate local businesses was fierce!

But this was bad. Right now, Kosaki and Ruri were coming down on the hot-air balloon. They had found out the location of "Netorare Neko-chan!". According to the little girl, there was enough cloud cover that they'd only be spotted once they were already in their descent.

But that meant that once they arrived at the location, they were sitting ducks.

The little girl had said that she was calling in reinforcements at the location to fend off any hostile forces, but Chitoge was still worried.

And to make matters worse, she had just received a text a little while ago that had confirmed her worst fears.

Raku had found a Black Suit at a cafe.

The same cafe that Claude had been heading to.

This was bad, bad, bad! Chitoge had told the little girl about the situation and she had said that she would spread the word to keep from engaging against the Beehive members. But the real problem was what'd happen if the Beehive members and the Shuei-gumi met all of a sudden!

She couldn't help but think of the worst-case scenario. And that damn Raku's phone was off too! What the hell was the point of having each others' numbers if you couldn't communicate!

"Ojou..."

"...We have to get out of here, Tsugumi," said Chitoge, clenching at her hair in frustration. "If we don't find a way out soon...Raku might be in danger..."

Not just Raku. Kosaki and Ruri too. They were all in danger and she was here, munching on fried chicken, feeling hopeless because she couldn't do anything!

"Damn it...there has to be a way out..." said Chitoge, nibbling at her thumbnail. Maybe if they went into the buildings and tried to navigate a back path...but she wasn't familiar with the alley ways here and they could easily get lost...

Ok, then how about taking the high ground. Getting onto the roofs and jumping to an open path-

But what if they picked the wrong building? What if one of the jumps were too far for them to make? Then they'd have to backtrack and it'd all be a waste of time-

Push through the crowd with force-

No, it was too dense. And there were seasoned hunters mingled in with the civilians, so things could get ugly. That was why no one else was using force, because they didn't want to make things worse than they already were-

_Think Chitoge-_

_You have to find a solution..._

_A way out of here..._

_Think..._

_THINK!_

"Hmm? Those students..."

"Huh? Students?"

Chitoge glanced distractedly at where Tsugumi was pointing.

"Ah...I thought I saw some Bonyari High School students running down those alleys..."

"Bonyari High Schoo-"

_Ah..._

That girl.

The one with the flower pin on her bangs and the ponytail hung over her shoulder...

Ruri's underclassman...

"O-Ojou!"

Tsugumi cried out as Chitoge broke into a run. Her legs instantly began pumping, as fast as they could, so quickly that she couldn't even feel the burn yet-

"Wait! WAIT! You! Ruri's underclassman!"

Chitoge dashed into the alley with Tsugumi right behind her. She turned the corner, her eyesight adjusting to the sudden darkness, racing through shafts of light that fell from small gaps between the buildings-

"Wait...wait...!"

Chitoge ran. Kept running. Because that girl...

She had been running too. Running with an entire group of people.

People from Bonyari High School. People that might have lived in Bonyari for years. People that might know the back alleys, the secret route to get out of this district-

"Wait..."

She panted for breath. Where was she? Did she lose her? No, no, she couldn't lose her. Not now! Not when there was so much at stake!

"...wait. Wait for me!"

Chitoge's ears pricked. Over there?

"Hurry, hurry! Jeez, you're so sheepy!"

"I can't run that fast! Slow down..."

_There...THERE!_

_Please, wait-_

_Wait right there-_

_PLEASE-_

"WAAAAIIITTTT!"

She cried out as she jumped at the next corner. Cried out as she finally caught up to the group of Bonyari High School students-

"Eh...? Kirisaki-senpai-"

And then headbutted Ruri's underclassman.

"Ow ow ow! Aghh...eh? EEHH!? Ruri's underclassman! No, no, I didn't mean to, I mean...uh...I'm so sorry! Are you ok? Hey, are you ok?"

Chitoge began to panic as she wildly shook Girl A's unconscious body back and forth.

"K-Kirisaki-senpai!?"

"Kirisaki? Did he just say Kirisaki?"

"Kirisaki-san is here!? You're joking, where!?"

"Oh my god, it's true! It's really Kirisaki-san! And glistening in newly-produced sweat too!"

"WHAT!?"

There was an enormous shout as all of Shu's team backpedaled to where Chitoge was.

"Ojou!" said Tsugumi, having doubled her speed upon hearing the noise. "Ojou, are you alrig-"

"TSUGUMIII-CHWAAANN!"

"W-Wh-What!?"

Another joyful cheer as Tsugumi arrived, her breasts bouncing from her speed.

"DID YOU SEE THAT?"

"So rare...I can't believe I was able to see it before my life ended...the Tsugumi Bounce!"

"My blood...I think my blood is having nosebleeds..."

"W-Wh...What are you talking about!?" said Tsugumi, shielding her chest instinctively.

"Ughh...Ki...Kirisaki-senpai?"

Girl A murmured as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey! You're ok! I'm so glad. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to hit you so hard...I mean, I didn't mean to hit you at all!"

"I-It's fine...ehehe...it's just a bump..." said Girl A, rubbing the sore spot on her forehead. "But Kirisaki-senpai, what are you doing here...?"

"Ah, that's right!" said Chitoge, her thoughts snapping back into place. "Hey, you...you guys know the way out of here, right? Please, I need to get out of here quickly-"

"Eh? Ah...yes...I mean, no. I mean, I'm just following these people to a cafe..." said Girl A, pointing at Shu's group.

"Kirisaki-san! I bet you were scared with all of those rough-looking guys back there in the crowd! But no need to worry, we'll protect you," said one of Shu's group, showing her a glittering smile.

"Thanks, but can you just show me how to get out of here?" said Chitoge with a chilling smile that said something like "Stop wasting my time, you idiot!"

"Ah...um...well, we don't really know either..." admitted the male student. "We're just following Maiko actually-"

_Maiko...!?_

"Maiko-kun? Maiko-kun is here?" said Chitoge, standing up abruptly.

"H-Huh? Y-Yeah...he gathered us all up. I mean, we know some of the routes back here, but Maiko's the one that knows it all like the back of his hand..."

"Where? Where is he?" said Chitoge, grabbing the student. "I need to find him! Where's Maiko-kun!?"

"Oh, oh! Kirisaki-san? What are you doing here? Ahaha, did you come here to meet me, maybe~!"

Chitoge looked up. Maiko Shu had appeared right next to her!

"Maiko-kun..." said Chitoge, feeling like she was going to collapse. "Maiko-kun...thank goodness..."

"Kirisaki-san?" said Shu, his cheerful expression vanishing. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Maiko-kun...please. We have to hurry. We have to get out of here now-"

"Kirisaki-san, what are you talking about? Calm down and expla-"

"There's no time to explain! Maiko-kun, we need to get to this address right now! Raku is in danger!"

Shu's eyes widened. "Raku...?"

"What do you mean by that, Kirisaki-san...?"

A new voice came from a short distance away. Chitoge looked away from Maiko and at the person that was walking towards them.

"Eh...you...why are you here...?"

"Well, I was just returning a favor to Maiko-kun here, but depending on what you say next, Kirisaki-san, that might change."

A group of policemen streamed into the alleyway, carefully guarding the person in the center-

"So, Kirisaki-san. Tell me right now. What do you mean by Raku-sama being in danger?"

* * *

"Hm? Ah, if it isn't Ojou's boyfriend..." said Claude, chuckling good-naturedly. "Well, well...all of you here together..."

"Claude..." said Raku, feeling relief for the first time at Claude's appearance. There was no way that Claude would just coincidentally be down at a local cafe like this, right at this moment! He had to have been sent by Chitoge. Which meant that everything would probably be sorted out now. "Claude, Chitoge called you, ri-"

"Bocchan."

"Ryuu! Wait a minute, don't fight! I'm pretty sure that Chitoge sent him to help us out-"

"Bocchan...I'm sorry. But he's not here to help."

The hand that was holding Raku back tightened its grip. Ryuu's eyes narrowed as Beehive members swarmed through the entrance.

Claude's glasses flashed and he stepped forward, air rushing around him as his killing intent rose.

"Shuei-gumi rats...step aside," said Claude, his eyes hidden by the shine in his lenses. "I have business with that bastard in the back..."

"The Black Suit...?" said Raku, glancing back. "What do you want with him?"

"It's none of your concern..." said Claude, continuing his advance. Ryuu stepped in front of Raku, blocking him from harm. "I have direct orders from Ojou herself...don't get in my way if you want to make it out of here in one piece, brat!"

"Ahh? Asshole...are you threatening Bocchan, right now, huuuuhhh!?" said Ryuu, shoving his face in front of Claude.

"Of course not..." said Claude, chuckling again. "I could never harm Ojou's cherished boyfriend...however, I can't speak for the rest of you. And I'm sure the young Bocchan here wouldn't want to engage in any reckless behavior..."

"You son of a-"

"Ryuu! Stop!"

Raku pushed past him and faced Claude.

"Did you say that Chitoge sent you...?" said Raku.

"Yes. I have orders from Ojou to take that scum there for questioning," said Claude, his eyes piercing into Raku's.

"Questioning? What are you doing that for?" said Raku, refusing to look away.

"As I said, none of your concern, Bocchan. So please, step away before you force my hand..."

Claude stopped as Raku put out his arm to block him.

"If you're just going to question him..." said Raku, his free hand tightening into a fist. "Then why do you look like you're going to kill someone?"

Claude smiled, his glasses still hiding his eyes.

"There's a simple answer to that, Bocchan," said Claude, brushing Raku's hand aside. "It's because I am going to kill him. And every single one of his kind."

"What...?"

"Ojou has given the order to eradicate these 'Black Suits'...so that's what I plan to do," said Claude.

"Eradicate...that's impossible," said Raku. "Chitoge would never..."

"But she did. Or are you daring to imply that I would lie about Ojou's orders?" said Claude, his furious eyes cutting through the shine on his lenses.

"...No," said Raku. It was true...for all that Claude was, lying so blatantly about Chitoge was something he'd never do. But this didn't make sense! Chitoge had said that the Black Suits didn't have any bad intentions. And eradicate...he was sure that Chitoge would never order a mass slaughter like this-

"Bocchan, you are Ojou's boyfriend, correct? Then you can surely relate to Ojou's feelings here. These bastards destroyed the school that Ojou had taken such pleasure in attending. They have also taken Ojou's friends hostage..."

_Hostage!_

_Onodera and Miyamoto...?_

"My duty today is to execute Ojou's orders. And that is to crush this 'Black Suits' group and show them what happens when they dare to cross Ojou..." said Claude, veins emerging as his face contorted in anger.

_But Chitoge said they were safe..._

_She didn't think it was a bad thing that the Black Suits took them..._

_There's no way..._

_No way that..._

"I see that you do understand, Bocchan. As expected of Ojou's boyfriend. In that case, please call back your men," said Claude, putting a hand on Raku's shoulder. "I shall tell Ojou that you were very cooperative in this operation."

"You're wrong..."

"Excuse me?"

"You're wrong!" said Raku, louder. His hand grabbed onto Claude's wrist, clamping down on it. For a moment, Claude's expression clouded with pain. _This brat..._

"I don't know what she told you...I don't know what you heard...but you're wrong. You're dead wrong," said Raku, looking at Claude with burning eyes. "Chitoge would never order you to kill someone. She'd never rely...on that sort of method to fix her problems!"

"You...!" Claude's teeth clenched.

"_You_ stand down," said Raku. "I'll deal with the Black Suit."

"Brat...don't get cocky..." said Claude, the arm in Raku's grip shaking. "For the last time...get out of my way."

"No..." said Raku, his fingers sinking deeper into Claude's wrist. "You're not going to get anywhere near him."

Silence enveloped the cafe. The employees stepped back from the counter, feeling the tension in the room pressing against their bodies.

"I've been waiting a long time for this...YOU DAMN BRAT!"

A blur. That was all Raku could see. A blur of white that was racing towards his head-

A deafening crack blasted against Raku's ear. Claude's fist was just inches from Raku's face.

"Bocchan, please move!"

Ryuu pushed Raku out of the way, the butt of his sword still locked with Claude's fist. Raku stumbled back, landing on his butt next to Black Suit #369.

"You bastard...how dare you strike at Bocchan..."

Ryuu and Claude separated, only to vanish under a storm of flashing blades and pistols. The large, spherical Dutch coffee drips exploded as bullets ricocheted through the cafe. The employees screamed and ducked under the counter.

"GET BOCCHAN OUT OF HERE!" shouted Ryuu as the battle began. Beehive and Shuei-gumi clashed in an escalating roar.

"Grab my hand!"

#369 blinked as Raku's hand appeared before him. Raku didn't wait and grabbed him by his suit as Shuei-gumi members dragged him out of the cafe-

"DON'T LET THAT BLACK SUIT GET AWAY!"

Claude crashed through the cafe's windows and snapped into a roll. Several of the members protecting Raku fell, crying out as bullets penetrated their legs and shoulders.

"I won't let you!"

Ryuu jumped out, slashing down at Claude. Claude fired at point-blank range, blasting Ryuu's blade back.

"Bocchan, please let go of that man! We can't protect you both-"

"Then get him to safety! Make sure they don't find him!" said Raku as they temporarily took cover behind a nearby car. "Wait, wait! Not yet, hold on-"

"Please, please don't hurt me! I swear, I'm planning on making amends!" shouted #369 as Raku grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Listen! Listen to me!" said Raku, squeezing tight. "Do you know where Onodera Kosaki is? Or Miyamoto Ruri?"

"N-No...I don't know where they are. I haven't seen them since the Invasion..."

_Shit...! He doesn't look like he's lying...but Chitoge said I had to find a Black Suit. Why would she tell me to find a Black Suit if they don't know where Onodera and Miyamoto are?_

Raku thumped a fist against his head. He was still missing something! What had Chitoge said...he had go back through everything again...

_The Black Suits..._

_Onodera and Miyamoto..._

_Hot-air balloon..._

_No...something else. There was something else before all that! What was it...think Raku...what was it..._

_Ah...!_

"Ok...one more question," said Raku, looking straight into #369's eyes and echoing the question that Chitoge had asked him. "Have you ever heard of 'Netorare Neko-chan!' ?"

He didn't blink. He didn't move even as the Shuei-gumi members began pulling at his sleeves. He just looked straight at #369, listening carefully, taking notice of every little shift in expression-

"...No. I'v...I've never heard of that in my life," said #369.

Raku's hands fell away. His body didn't resist as the Shuei-gumi members lifted him to his feet.

Ichijou Raku couldn't think. His breath had caught in his chest. Because he didn't know what to do anymore. Because he didn't know what was going on.

Because he was 100% sure that #369 had been telling the truth.

* * *

From the sky, a hot-air balloon descended.

"Out! Everyone out now!"

The Black Suits helped Kosaki and Ruri climb out of the basket and onto the ground as the deflating balloon showered down like a colorful fountain behind them. In the distance, a small army of more Black Suits were jogging over.

"Boss!"

"Just you guys for now...?" said the labcoat girl, wiping away her sweaty hair. "Well, it's fine. You got my orders? Get every available member down here, now! Set up a parameter and don't let anyone get past you!"

"Yes, Boss!"

"And you two, follow me," added the labcoat girl, looking at Ruri and Kosaki. "I told you that I'd get you to safety. And that's not here."

"Eh...? What do you mean-"

"This place is about to become a warzone. I can't spare enough men to escort you safely out of here while we're retrieving the porno," said the labcoat girl. "That's why you need to come with me. The safest place, in the upcoming minutes, is going to be up there."

The labcoat girl jabbed a thumb behind her, where a massive Torii gate stood, crimson surrounded by lush, green foliage, hiding a stone stairway-

"Well then. Shall we get going?" said the labcoat girl, turning her head to grin at the gate. "What a joke. Hiding a porno on sacred grounds."

Kosaki and Ruri followed the labcoat girl and the Black Suits as they began heading up to a nearby shrine in Bonyari.

* * *

**A/N: **_(insert something about stuff)._


	39. HSKC 12 - Netorare Neko-chan!

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)**

**Netorare Neko-chan!**

_Part Twelve  
_

* * *

A tinkling tone.

As Raku and #369 separated, the phone in the Black Suit's pocket received a text message.

"Ah...sorry. Can I take this?"

"H-Huh? Oh...yeah..."

"Bocchan, we need to get you out of here. We'll take the Black Suit into custody and meet you at a rendezvous point."

"Yeah...alright..."

Raku replied automatically, his mind still fogged up. Coming here hadn't solved anything. Even though Kosaki and Ruri were kidnapped, he wasn't any closer to finding them. He couldn't even try his best because he had no idea what to do right now.

_Calm down, Raku...take things one step at a time. You need to figure out what to do right now._

The first thing he needed to do was get out of here. The battle between the Beehive and the Shuei-gumi had escalated into an all-out war. This entire street had gone empty as bullets were fired, swords slashed, and fists battered against flesh.

And of course, there was the tank.

Wait. Two tanks.

_Two tanks!?_

"Where did these tanks come from!?"

"Y-You bastards! So you were the ones that stole our tank!"

"Hah, serves you right, Beehive! This tank will be put to better use now that it's in our hands!"

"Well, joke's on you! That tank has no ammunition inside! HAH, it was in the middle of maintenance!"

"What!? You dirty scumbags! Fine then...I guess we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way!"

"AHHHHH? That a challenge I'm hearing!? You've got balls, thinking you can fight us with our own tank and no ammunition!"

"Who needs ammunition when you can just...RAM YOUR TANK!"

"WAAGH! Y...You bastards, what do you think you're doing to our tank!? Do you know how much money we spent on that!?"

There was a loud bang as the Beehive's tank fired a round into the Shue-gumi's tank, which was trying to mount the Beehive's tank. Raku watched the two tanks crash into a nearby bank, then reverse out of the hole they had made and run over a parked sedan. This was a war, right? This was an actual battle against two of the most feared gang organizations in Bonyari, right? It wasn't like a playground feud between a bunch of brats, right!?

"Uh...Ichijou Raku...?"

"Huh?" said Raku, surprised at hearing his full name at a time like this. He turned around and saw that #369 was still standing next to him.

"Um, about that 'Netorare Neko-chan!' you were talking about...I think I might actually have some information on it after all!"

"What!? You do? What is it? Tell me!"

"Well, you see, I did a quick Googol search on my phone just now and, get this...it's actually a porno!"

"..."

"Ichijou Raku? Did you hear me? I said that it was a p-"

"I heard you. Thanks...I'll keep that in mind."

"Ah, and also, I received this text message from my organization. It says that Onodera Kosaki and Miyamoto Ruri are currently with our Boss and that they're all over at a sh-"

"WHAT!? Wait, wait, what did you just say!? They're with your Boss? Are they safe!?"

"Y-Yes. They're safe for now. But it looks like things are going to get a bit ha-"

"Where!? Where are they right now!?"

"...Hold on a second, I'm trying to pull it up on Googol Ma-"

"BOCCHAN, WATCH OUT!"

An explosion. Suddenly, Raku and #369 were thrown off their feet as a flash of heat rammed against their backs. Raku fell onto the ground, shielded by two Shuei-gumi members.

"Agh...! What was...guys? Guys!?"

"We're ok, Bocchan..." said the Shuei-gumi members, flashing a thumbs-up at him.

"The clothes were burned off your backs! You're clearly not ok!"

"I'm fine too..." said #369.

"I'm glad you're fine, but I didn't ask you!"

Raku panted as he struggled to his feet. His eyes were stinging from the smoke and dust swirling around him. He coughed and wiped his face, trying to figure out what had happened.

_Huh...? What's this...sweet scent..._

Too sweet, actually. It was forcing itself up his nose. All of a sudden, he started feeling light-headed. The world was starting to sway under his feet.

"This is..." said Claude, falling onto one knee.

"Bocchan...!" said Ryuu, also falling.

Raku staggered back and forth. A Beehive member bumped into him and then collapsed onto the ground. Something was wrong. Everyone was suddenly losing strength. Raku fell forward, his mouth and nose completely filled with that sickly sweet scent. He coughed again, now noticing that the smoke wasn't smoke...it was too light...too clean...

"Fufufu...fuhuhuhu..."

The entire street was covered in the light smoke. Footsteps were approaching from where the explosion had occurred, the small, flickering sparks being stamped out by hard boots.

"Oh? Oh? Now, look what we have here! The world-famous Beehive gang...completely vulnerable! And if it isn't the Shuei-gumi! Fufufu, this is really how it should be, all of you, bowing down before us."

From the light smoke emerged a blonde man with a gas mask, guarded on both sides by two wide men with shaved heads.

"Who the hell are you...?" said Claude, his teeth grinding as he tried to get back onto his feet.

"Oh come on now, don't be like that, Beehive. It's rude to pretend like we've never met," said the blonde man, laughing. "Even if you are in a particularly shameful position right now..."

"Reinforcements...?" said Ryuu, tearing some of his bandages to cover his mouth. "You dirty bastards...using gas..."

"What was that? Watch your mouth, Shuei-gumi rat! As if anyone in the Beehive would stoop to such methods against...the likes...of you..."

Claude's glasses fell to the ground. He had also covered his mouth with a handkerchief, but it wasn't slowing the effect of the gas. His body was getting heavier and heavier.

"Just for this matter, I'll agree with the Beehive lackey. As if we would team up with low-level insects like them!" said the blonde man, his laughter now containing a sharp edge. He sighed and pinched the snout of his mask with two fingers. "My god, even though I designed the scent to be quite strong, it doesn't seem to be able to stifle your peasant stenches."

"A nobody speaking ill of the Beehive...you must want your ass full of lead, punk!" spat Claude, the pistol in his hand shaking as he tried to raise it.

A vein throbbed in the blonde man's temple.

"A nobody...? You don't know...? Is that what you're saying...?" said the blonde man, his lanky frame quivering. "How dare you...Beehive. Even your damn lackeys are ridiculing me!"

_Who is this guy...?_ thought Raku. The blonde man was now stomping angrily at the ground, mumbling furiously to himself.

"You don't know!? You really don't know!?" said the blonde man abruptly, looking down at Claude.

"Hmph. As if I remember every lowlife out there that I have to deal with..." said Claude. "It is only Ojou and the Boss who stay permanently in my memory-"

"What, what, what is this!? He doesn't know, he doesn't remember! None of you do, is that what you're saying!?" said the blonde man, stamping through piles of unconscious Beehive and Shuei-gumi members. "NOBODY HERE KNOWS WHO WE ARE!?"

"Uh...Boss. I think they're all asleep."

"I-I knew that, you idiot! Don't correct me!" said the blonde man, his face flushing. He marched back up to the front and cleared his throat. "Well, perhaps you just haven't heard of us by name before. As unlikely as it is, I can understand that it could happen with your puny, underdeveloped, plebian minds."

The blonde man raised his arms wide and tilted his head up to the sky.

"We are the great Coccinella Family!"

Nobody said anything. The few who were still awake simply had quizzical looks.

"Ehem. Let me repeat that. _We are the great Coccinella Family!"_

"You know them?" said Ryuu to Claude.

"No. I've never heard of them in my life."

The blonde man's mouth snapped wide open.

"W-What are you saying!? We've worked together! We had a partnership!"

"A partnership? With punks like you? Don't make me laugh," said Claude, chuckling heartily.

"We did, we did, we did!" shouted the blonde man, stamping his feet again. "You constantly had us help you develop those random gadgets that you were going to use for missions!"

_Random gadgets...?_ thought Raku, flashbacking on some painful moments. Wait a minute, then did that mean that these guys were responsible for all those incidents!?

"Gadgets for missions? I don't know what you're speaking of. I have never used anything that wasn't developed by proprietary Beehive research-"

"GGHHHHHH, NO, NO, NO!" said the blonde man, ripping hair out of his head. "WE MADE YOU PROTOTYPES! WE INVESTED ALL OF OUR MONEY INTO THOSE PRODUCTS, BUT YOU NEVER USED ANY OF THEM! We made that lie detector with 96% accuracy, those exploding handcuffs, and those love gummies that work for five minutes-"

"Ah yes, yes. I seem to remember those now," said Claude, laughing again. "In fact, our research team developed better versions for our actual missions, so we merely left those failures in storage. Although, it seems we have disposed of quite a few of them recently."

The blonde man's mouth was gaping again. His entire body seemed to go lifeless from shock.

"You mean...all of our prototypes were just sitting around in storage..."

"Yes, of course."

"And that's why you never paid any of your fees for our development cycles..."

"Hah? Why would we pay for failure inventions?"

"Khh...gguu..." The blonde man slapped his wrist to his face, trying to block the tears that were flooding from his eyes.

_Coccinella guy..._

_I feel so sorry for you, man!_ thought Raku.

_What's going on here...? _thought Ryuu.

_Ah...no, of course not Ojou. There is no one cuter than you in the entire world,_ thought Claude as he finally collapsed and began snoozing.

"Damn it...damn it...DAMN YOU, BEEHIVEEEE!" cried the blonde man, pulling out a canister from inside his brown suit. "You'll pay...YOU'LL DEFINITELY PAY FOR ALL OF OUR DEBT, DAMN IT! The formula in this canister will transform your body into pure 24k gold, so that we can melt you down and make ingots out of you!"

"That's really scary, but oh my god! You guys really made that!? Why the heck are you guys in debt at all!?"

"Silence, you Shuei-gumi brat! Don't interfere with the matters of the great, world-renowned Coccinella Fami-!"

The blonde men and his bodyguards went flying as a police van came skidding into them.

"RAKU-SAMAA!"

The back doors of the van burst open and an orange blur leapt out to Raku.

"T-Tachibana!?"

"Raku-sama, I'm so glad that you're ok!"

"Tachibana, did you just run over-"

"Ehehe, yes, it looks like I did. Are you going to praise me, Raku-sama?"

"I know that they were threatening our lives, but how could you do that when they've gone through so much, Tachibana!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Raku-sama. Ah, but were they threatening you? In that case, I will hurry and retrieve them to give them a suitable punishment~"

"Tachibana? Tachibana, why's your face so dark!?"

"Marika, we don't have time for this!"

Chitoge jumped out of the police van and ran over to Raku.

"Geh! What's this disgusting smell...?"

"Don't breathe it in! It's some kind of sleeping gas," said Raku, his own eyes barely able to stay open. "Chitoge...you were with Tachibana...?"

"It's a long story. But Marika's guys will take care of things here. You need to come with us-"

"Eh? Shu? Ruri's underclassman?" said Raku, seeing more figures in the back of the police van. "And a bunch of guys from school...what's going on?"

"Raku! Raku! Pay attention!" Chitoge slapped him a couple of times to wake him up. "Tsugumi, help me get him into the van."

"Wait..." droned Raku as he was hauled into the back of the van. "The Black Suit...he said he knew where...Onodera and Miyamoto are..."

"We know. We know where they are, Raku," said Chitoge, closing the doors shut as Marika fanned fresh air into Raku's face. "I can't believe it's become like this..."

"What are you talking about...?" said Raku, trying to sit up. "W...Where are we going? Onodera and Miyamoto are ok, right? You said...that they were safe..."

"They're safe, but we don't know for how long," said Chitoge, wiping sweat from her face. "It's a long story, Raku, but basically...there's a mob of gangsters and hunters heading towards Kosaki and Ruri-chan right now."

* * *

Back at the entranceway to the shrine-

A demon-like man with a scar on one eye emerged from a police car. His team followed closely behind as they walked over to a group of men in black suits.

"So, you guys are the Black Suits I've been hearin' about," said Tachibana's father. "One of my men was in your care last time..."

"Ah? Oh right, #469...Who knew that he was an undercover member from the Bonyari police force?" said Yamada, walking up to shake hands. "How's that guy doing? He took quite a beating back then."

"Not bad. He's the one that asked us to help ya guys," said Tachibana's father with a rare smile. 'And if I've got a bone to pick, it'd be with those Shuei-gumi bastards, heh."

"Well, he took out a lot of our guys, so I guess we can call it even," said Yamada. "I'm #10 from the organization. We're still trying to gather all of our forces here, so I'm taking lead right now."

"What's the situation? Dun tell me you guys are the reason for all these shenanigans in the city-"

"No, not at first, but I guess you could say that we're at the center of it now," said Yamada, looking out in the direction of Bonyari's downtown. "Our organization is collecting something from this shrine that's of great importance. But there are quite a few criminal organizations that are also interested and that's the reason for all this ruckus."

"And all of these criminals are headin' over here now, is that it?"

"Yeah. Some two-bit gang called the Coccinella Family just spread the word to every single organization in the area. Something about making sure the Beehives don't win..."

"Beehive? They're a part of this too?"

"Old man, this damn thing's pulling in everyone in this city," said Yamada, smiling wryly. "If my information's correct, even your daughter is in the middle of this..."

"Yeah...I sent my best men with her, but..." said Tachibana's father, his brows knitting.

"I guess that's youth for you. If I was them, I'd think twice before barging into a warzone, but I guess some things are just that important when you're young."

"Heh, ya say some good things, even though you're young yourself."

"Don't treat me like a kid, old man," said Yamada, lighting up a cigarette. He blew out a puff of smoke and offered the pack to Tachibana's father. He declined.

"Well, don't worry too much. Our orders are to take care of your daughter and her friends too, when they arrive," said Yamada. "It's best if we get them all here right now, where we can keep an eye on them until this situation blows over."

"I'll be grateful," said Tachibana's father. "What do you need us to do?"

"We've got a perimeter set up so we can cover all sides. We just need your men to help support us," said Yamada, pointing out the stations of Black Suits all around the shrine's block. "The only thing we might have trouble is with-"

Yamada stopped as he spotted a cluster flying through the air towards the shrine.

"Heh, you thought that you got rid of us! But you should never underestimate the Iron Talons!"

"Boss...do we really have to carry all of these rockets? They're really heavy..."

"Of course we do! Those fools! They pretty much dropped all this free firepower right into our laps! Why shouldn't we take it and make use of it in our counterattack?" said the Iron Talons leader as they closed in on the shrine. "Of course, we'll only be using 20% of the rockets. Remember that! We still need to sell the rest to balance our budget for this month."

"Yes, Boss."

"Hey Boss, I think we got some activity below us..."

"Ah? Oh...it looks like they got the police force wrapped up into this. They've got a nice formation down there, but it can't stop us! We'll just fly right over these trees and bomb that shrine!"

"But Boss, what if we hit the porno?"

"Ah...right," said the Iron Talons leader, faltering for a second. "Well then...we'll just threaten to bomb the shrine and then force them to hand over the porno!"

"Hey Boss, they've got some kind of giant robot down the-"

"And of course, after we get the porno, we'll bomb the offering box and take all the coins inside too!"

"But Boss, isn't that sacrilege! The god might get angry at us if we do that."

"Boss, the giant robot is shooting at u-"

"Hah! You think the leader of the Iron Talons fears something like a god? If this god wanted to stop us, then he'd shoot us right out of the sk-"

In the skies, the sound of a small explosion.

"Oh...I guess we have air covered too," said Yamada as he saw more missiles firing at the fleeing Iron Talons members. He rolled his head a few times and crumbled the cigarette in his palm. "Well, let's just get you guys set up down here first."

* * *

"Oh Raku-sama. I'm so glad that you're ok."

"I really appreciate the concern, Tachibana, but that's the tenth time you've told me that. Also, can you get off my lap...?"

"Nope~"

"So, that's everything that's happened so far," said Chitoge, her eye twitching a little as Marika snuggled with Raku. "Right now, we're going to the shrine where 'Netorare Neko-chan!' is supposed to be."

"Jeez...so you guys were all just on a treasure hunt, huh? You really had me worried, you know," said Raku, pushing Marika off him. "I understand that this DVD is one-of-a-kind, but there were criminal organizations after this too. You guys could've gotten hurt."

"I know that..." said Chitoge, bouncing back onto her seat. "But we didn't expect all this to happen in the first place..."

"And something tells me you already knew about this whole treasure hunt thing too..." said Raku, looking over at Marika. "You were the one that told Chitoge and Tsugumi about the DVD, right?"

"Oh my. Well, it is true that I suggested the title to Kirisaki-san and Tsugumi-san. But of course, I had no idea that things would turn out this way," said Marika, averting her eyes.

"Wait a minute, you knew!?" said Chitoge.

"Kirisaki-san, I understand that you have much in common with a gorilla, but even primates can interpret human speech-"

"I know exactly what you're saying," said Chitoge with a forced smile. "You knew all along, didn't you? Don't try and weasel out of this."

"Ehem. Well, I won't say that I didn't know about its legendary status...but believe me, I never expected entire criminal organizations to be after it as well..."

"Tachibana Marika! Exposing Ojou to such dangers...I can't believe you..." said Tsugumi, glaring at her.

"Even I wouldn't put you two in needless danger like this," said Marika, pouting. "As you can see, I'm already repenting for my miscalculation by enlisting my father's police force."

"I know you're not the kind of person to do that, so I know you're telling the truth," said Raku with an exasperated sigh. "But Tachibana...why did you want a DVD like that in the first place...?"

"Oh my. Raku-sama, you know about the DVD's true nature?"

"True nature...?" said Chitoge, getting a sinking feeling in her chest.

"E-Eh...? Kirisaki-senpai, could it be that you and Tsugumi-senpai didn't know...?" said Girl A.

"Know about what?" said Chitoge cautiously. Tsugumi tilted her head, puzzled,

"Hey now!" cut in Shu, laughing cheerfully. "Raku, isn't it great that we get to spend quality time with the beautiful idols of our school on a nice afternoon like this?"

"Huh...ah yeah..." said Raku, laughing nervously. "I-It's pretty amazing how we all ended up meeting like this."

"Hey, Raku. What's Marika talking about?" said Chitoge, refusing to let the topic slide.

"C-Chitoge...what are _you_ talking about?" said Raku, turning away from Chitoge's intimidating stare. "A...Ahh! Hey guys! Haven't seen you in a while! What have you guys been up to lately?"

"Die, Ichijou."

"Damn full-lifer!"

"You didn't even know about the DVD, but you still came here to grab all the girls!?"

"W-Wait a minute, why are you guys mad at me!?" said Raku as the glares from Shu's group burned holes into him.

"Ah, Kirisaki-senpai! I heard from Miyamoto-senpai that you were trying to learn how to cook before. If you want, I can teach you how to cook myse-"

"No, don't listen to her. She's terrible at cooking. You'll die of starvation after eating her food."

"Jeez, why do you have to put it like that!"

"RAKU! Raku, tell me what Marika was talking about!" said Chitoge, pushing past everyone who was trying to distract her.

"But to think that Marika-chan had that kind of interest too...it really fits your character, doesn't it~" said Shu, smiling at Marika.

"My, my I'm quite sure that whatever that disgusting brain of yours is thinking has nothing to do with me~" said Marika, smiling back.

"W-What if Maruusha-san wants to watch that kind of DVD too!?" said Shakai suddenly, despair painted all over his face.

"Wh...Nakano!? You were here!?"

"RAKU, SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"

"T-That's...I can't..." said Raku, holding his hands up in protest. "Really, Chitoge, it's nothing-"

"Honestly, Raku-sama. It's really not that big of a deal, is it?" said Marika. "It's true that 'Netorare Neko-chan!' is a..._unique_ product, but if Kirisaki-san wants to know so badly-"

"Marika! Are you serious!? There's no way talking about that is ok right now!"

"Yeah, yeah, Marika-chan! This isn't something you talk about in front of everyone-"

"Excuse me? I really don't understand why you are all making such a big deal out of it. After all, it's just a -"

The entire van went silent.

"Hm? This reaction..." said Marika, glancing at all of the surprised faces. "Wait...could it be that none of you knew...?"

"T...Tachibana," said Raku, unable to believe what he had just heard. Across from him, Chitoge and Tsugumi looked like they were similarly shocked. "What did you just say?"

* * *

Kosaki poured water from the ladle into her hand and then rinsed her mouth. After purifying herself at the water station, she walked through the shrine's gate and headed over to Ruri and the little girl.

"The solution to the puzzle leads us here, but there wasn't an exact location," said the labcoat girl, her eyes crawling lazily over the shrine buildings. "Don't tell me we have to comb through this entire place...?"

"Perhaps it's being sold back at the fortunes stall..." said Ruri, glancing back. But then she noticed that the Black Suits were coming over with their arms full of charms, talismans, and wooden plaques.

"I'm going to give this one to my friend's kid. He's going to apply for Bonyari High School soon, you know."

"Make sure you treat him to some katsudon too, then!"

"Are you guys sure about that...I mean, Bonyari High School isn't exactly high-level..."

"Well...yeah...but at least he'll have a fun high school life, right?"

"I don't know...I mean think about it. If he's applying now, then he'll be a first-year next year...so Ichijou Raku and the rest will still be in school..."

"Oh no...you're right! He's going to be overshadowed by Ichijou Raku and his life...he won't be able to star in anything significant until Ichijou Raku graduates!"

"Yeah...I guess those are the kinds of sacrifices we have to live with in our field..."

The labcoat girl went up to the offering box and tossed in a handful of 1 yen coins.

"You can have them, since it's a hassle carrying these around," said the labcoat girl, bowing and clapping her hands twice.

"Hmm...this shrine seems a little familiar..." said Kosaki as they continued wandering through the empty shrine.

"You've been here before, Kosaki?" asked Ruri.

"I think so...but when was it...?" said Kosaki, holding a hand up to her cheek as she tried to remember.

"A little late for a shrine visit, babies...it's almost sunset."

An old lady with angled black glasses and a cigarette was walking towards them.

"Ah!" said Kosaki, the memory rushing back to her. "You're the priestess!"

"Oh, if it isn't the shrine maiden from back then..." said the priestess, smiling.

"You remembered me?" said Kosaki. She bowed to the priestess in a flustered manner. "Thank you again for helping us out back then."

"No need, I only pointed it out to you girls," said the priestess, taking a drag from the cigarette. "How is that boy doing now, anyways?"

"Good...I think," said Kosaki, remembering back to the Invasion and all of the things that had happened since then.

"Kosaki, you know this person?" said Ruri.

"Yeah! I just remembered, on New Year's last year, we were helping Ichijou-kun at this shrine..." said Kosaki. "She's the priestess here and she's really incredible! She was really famous in our grandparents' generation and she even helped us save Ichijou-kun from some vengeful spirits!"

"Ohh. That is amazing," said Ruri.

"Hm? What's this, a priestess?"

The labcoat girl came down from the offering hall and approached the priestess.

"Oh...is this why you came here today?" said the priestess to Kosaki. "Yes, I can definitely see that there's a curse on this girl..."

"Eh!?" said Kosaki and Ruri.

"But there's not much I can do about it..." said the priestess, taking another drag. She blew the smoke out gently into the air. "Why are you keeping that curse on yourself, baby?"

"Oh, so you are the real deal," said the labcoat girl. "But I assume you're not just a medium. You're in charge of this shrine, aren't you?"

"That's right, baby. If you've got any questions, feel free to ask," said the priestess.

"I see. Good, then that'll make things easier," said the labcoat girl, motioning at a Black Suit. He came over and handed her his phone. "Well granny, tell me. Do you know where we can find 'Netorare Neko-chan!' here?"

The priestess looked at the picture on the phone for a solid minute. Her lips pursed over her cigarette and she exhaled smoke through her nostrils.

"Sorry, baby. Never heard of whatever you're looking for."

"So it is here then," said the labcoat girl, tossing the phone back to the Black Suit. "I'm not stupid, granny. Why don't you just make this easy and fork over the porno?"

The priestess rolled the cigarette back and forth in her mouth. Even though it had been burning since the beginning of their conversation, the paper section didn't seem to have shrunk back at all.

"Forget about it, baby. What you came here for doesn't exist," said the priestess, turning around and walking away.

The priestess came to a halt as the Black Suits blocked her way.

"Even if you're a famous medium, that doesn't help you with the physical world," said the labcoat girl, walking up to her. "Granny, I'm trying to keep things civil. Try to cooperate, will you?"

The labcoat girl flicked the priestess's cigarette off with a finger and then crushed it under her foot.

"Heh...cheeky brat," said the priestess.

"Uh...Boss-san..." started Kosaki.

"Stay back there, Onodera Kosaki," said the labcoat girl. "We're just having a conversation."

"I suppose you're looking for this?" said the priestess, taking a black DVD case out from inside her sash.

"Ah!"

Kosaki and Ruri looked at each other. So it did exist after all...

The legendary porno, "Netorare Neko-chan!".

"Oh? But I assume you won't just hand it over to us for free?" said the labcoat girl, eyeing the DVD.

"Heh...so there are still people that believe this is a porno..." said the priestess.

"What?" said the labcoat girl, her eyes narrowing.

"I told you, baby. What you're looking for doesn't exist," said the priestess, waving the DVD. "I know what you've been told, but there's no such thing as a legendary porno called 'Netorare Neko-chan!'"

"Eh...? But then, what is that DVD...?" said Kosaki.

"The name it has now is 'Netorare Neko-chan!'. But it's not a porno...in fact, this DVD doesn't play anything at all," said the priestess.

"What do you mean by that? Why would a blank DVD become so infamous...?" said Ruri.

The priestess smiled and held the DVD out to them. As the three girls huddled closer to look, they realized that something was strange about this DVD case. The surface was black, yes, but too black. Even though the sun was starting to set, there was still a small amount of light in the sky. Yet, not a single reflection was showing on the case's surface. Rather, it was like looking into a pool of ink, that stretched endlessly to a bottom that didn't exist.

"Because, this item can make your love come true."

* * *

**A/N: **_And so, we finally reach the final act of the HSKC bonus arc. _


	40. HSKC 13 - Prelude to the Discourse

He was from a small mobster group that had arrived in Japan just a few days ago. He had never traveled internationally before, so the weapons he had hidden inside his suitcase had caused him to get detained by customs until now.

"This isn't good...what's Leader going to say once he finds out I was late..."

He twisted on the throttle of his motorbike and continued towards the video rental store that supposedly had "Netorare Neko-chan!". It was likely that the DVD had already been acquired by some other group; as far as he knew, there were hundreds of people after the DVD now. Looking at things realistically, he was probably wasting his time going to the store now.

"Maybe I should just tour Japan while I have the chance...I always wanted to try Misses Donut..."

"Hey you!"

Next to him, a black car had pulled up. The driver was shouting at him from the window.

_Huh...? Who the hell is this guy?_

"You...you're after 'Netorare Neko-chan!', aren't you?" said the driver.

_!?_

_S-Shit! This guy knows? Maybe he's..._

The mobster clicked his tongue and quickly reached into his jacket for his pistol.

"Hold on! We don't want to fight!" said the driver, already having his pistol out.

"You sure don't look like it!"

"Get off the bike. Let's talk."

The mobster gritted his teeth. He had no choice. He shoved the pistol back into his jacket and pulled over.

"Damn it...so this is how it ends, huh?" said the mobster as the car also parked. "Ahh...I really wanted to try those ring donuts..."

"So, it looks like you didn't get the message," said the driver, getting out of the car. He waved the pistol at the mobster. "The hunt's over. Get in."

"Huh? The hunt? What are you talking about?"

"The treasure hunt, of course! For 'Netorare Neko-chan!'"

The mobster had questions marks pop up around his head.

"Wait...you...were you not at the store...?"

"No...I was late. Did something happen?" said the mobster, realizing that something was off here.

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah...I mean, the rest of my team will be joining me later..."

"Good. Tell them to meet up with you. We need to get going."

"Going? Where?"

"Someone found 'Netorare Neko-chan!'" said the driver. "Right now's not the time for us to be fighting. There's a ceasefire right now with all the hunters."

"A ceasefire!? No way, why would everyone just suddenly-"

"It's because we've got that big of a problem," said the driver, smirking bitterly. "There's no way we can match them without working together...Those damn Black Suits."

* * *

"'Netorare Neko-chan!'...makes your love come true?"

"Yes. There is a rumor that 'Netorare Neko-chan!' is not a DVD, but an item that guarantees that your love will work out," said Marika.

"What's with that schoolyard sort of rumor...?"

"E-Eh!? Then it's not a DVD about cute cats!?" said Tsugumi. A deep blush grew on her face as she realized what she had just blurted out. "I-I mean...I see. So it was that kind of item..."

_I get it now...so that's why Chitoge and Tsugumi were looking for it..._thought Raku. It made sense; after all, he just couldn't see the two of them working so hard to chase down a porno...

_Wait, if Kirisaki-senpai and Tsugumi-senpai thought this was a cat DVD..._thought Girl A, color rising through her body. _T-Then I was...back then...we were...!?_

"I see...I thought it was weird that so many of those guys were into cute cats..." said Chitoge, nodding understandingly.

_Wait, wait, it's still weird even if they did know the truth about the DVD!_ thought everyone else.

"So it's not a porno after all, then?" whispered one of Shu's comrades.

"Doesn't look like it. But a DVD that guarantees that your love will work out...isn't that amazing too!?"

"Sure, it _sounds_ amazing...but it gives off the same sketchy feeling as horoscopes or like those urban myths for couples..."

"Urban myths huh...if only that was true. Let me tell you something right now; those myths are undoubtedly real."

"Huh!? What are you talking about?"

"Actually, I participated in one of those myths before...I took a girl to a certain cake shop on Valentine's Day and...well..."

"What the hell!? You actually went on a date? With a girl? Wait, you guys are still together!?"

"Of course. Visiting that cake shop ensured that our relationship would last forever. I even have a picture of her, if you guys want to see..."

Shu's group gathered around the photograph he pulled out of his wallet.

"Wait a minute...I know this girl! Yeah...this girl is your little sister, damn it!"

"Hehe...that's right. I went to that cake shop with my little sister and doted on her! All of her friends were at that cake shop and they spread rumors at her school that she's a bro-con! Now, no one will take her except for me!"

"...Man, you're twisted."

"How the hell does that validate the myth!? In fact, you just ruined your sister's chances at love, so that myth is total bullcrap!"

"Guys, guys! You're taking this all wrong..." cut in Shu, shaking his head.

"Wh...Who cares what you think, Shu! You've got a cute underclassman that likes you!"

"Yeah! As far as I'm concerned, you're pretty much on the level of Ichijou, you bastard!"

"I see...so that's how it is now. It seems like you guys have waded for too long in your loneliness," said Shu, putting a hand to his chest. "You really have lost yourselves, haven't you...?"

"W-What was that!?"

"There was a time where I could proudly call you guys my comrades. But right now! Looking at you guys right now...I'm saddened."

"Are you trying to rub in your good life, you bastard!? Someone like you...someone like you wouldn't understand, right!"

"No, it's you guys that don't understand!" said Shu. "Sketchy things like horoscopes and urban myths for couples...you're rejecting them because you feel like it doesn't reflect the world you see at all..."

"That's right...it doesn't! There's no such thing as some kind of god-like item that can make you suddenly popular! There's no such thing as fated meetings or encounters, no such thing as an innocent, pure love that grows slowly over time!"

"I can't deny that...stuff like that is definitely never seen by regular guys like us..." said Shu. "But that's what I mean when I say that you've lost yourselves. Why are you guys looking at yourselves...when the thing that you should looking at is the girl!"

"T-The girl!?"

"That's right. Sketchy things like horoscopes and urban myths! Chance meetings between that perfect partner! A smooth, gradual journey that'll lead to happiness! You guys are looking down on things like that because you think they're just fantasies and baseless rumors...but that's why you can't see what's right in front of you!"

"Right in front of us...? Wha...what are you talking about, Shu?"

"I'm talking about a maiden's heart," said Shu. "What you guys are doing right now is trampling on the core of a maiden's heart! Dismissing the feelings and wishes of wonderful maidens...I'm disappointed in all of you!"

"T-This guy!"

"W-What the heck is he saying!? There's no way that I...I didn't say anything like that..."

"There's nobody who appreciates girls more than I do! In fact, I worship them!"

There were rebuffs to Shu's claim, but they all knew the truth of the matter. The tears flowing yet again from their eyes were marks of their newly-discovered awareness.

"D-Damn it...how many times have we cried today..."

"I-I'm not crying...I just have dust in my eye..."

"Some men we are..."

"Cry all you want..." said Shu, huddling them all together in a big hug. "Right now, we're in a police van...until we get out of here, you guys can be weak for once..."

"S-Shuuu!"

"Maaikooo!"

"What the heck are they talking about over there...?" said Chitoge as Shu's group began bawling loudly.

"No doubt something lecherous," said Tsugumi, glaring at them. Chitoge smiled and looked back down at her cellphone. Kosaki still wasn't answering her calls...

"M-Master is so inspirational," said Boy A, wiping his eyes. "I really have a lot to learn."

"Inspirational, huh..."

Girl A watched as Shu patted shoulders and comforted his comrades.

There it was again...that look on his face...

_A maiden's heart..._

Yes, Maiko Shu was certainly someone who loved girls. There was no denying that. He exuded his feelings for girls as freely and openly as Tachibana Marika did with her love for Ichijou Raku.

That was why it was understandable that Shu wanted "Netorare Neko-chan!". Sought after a legendary porno like that-

_But..._

_Netorare Neko-chan's true nature..._

_If he knew-_

"So that's all you knew about 'Netorare Neko-chan!', Tachibana?"

"Yes...unfortunately, there isn't much more information about the DVD than that..."

"So there's no guarantee that this rumor is even true, then? Why would you go after something like that...?"

"If there's even a slightest chance of becoming closer to you, Raku-sama...I will take it of course~" said Marika, resting her head against him. Raku blushed as he felt her soft cheek press into his shoulder. But when he tried to move away, he felt Marika's fingers grip tightly to his sleeve.

_Ah..._

_That's right..._

Marika had always been serious about her feelings for him. She had always been working 100% to get him to notice her.

Even now, when she had so much competition from Chitoge, Tsugumi, Haru, Yui, and Kosaki, she was still giving it her best.

He smiled wryly and allowed her to cling to him. Chitoge's brow twitched at his surrender, but she sighed and let it go. She understood too, after all.

They all did now.

_I wonder if Onodera knew about these rumors too...?_

Raku shook the thought of his head. No, it didn't seem like she had, based off what he heard from Chitoge and Tsugumi. Perhaps she had also been misled into thinking the DVD was something else...

_Onodera..._

Right now, she and Miyamoto were at the shrine with the Boss of the Black Suits. At the center of an impending war...

_Onodera...please be safe..._

Soon, the police van would arrive at the location of "Netorare Neko-chan!".

* * *

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)**

**Prelude to the Discourse**

_Part Thirteen_

* * *

The origins of "Netorare Neko-chan!" are hazy. Some say that the item had been crafted by the broken-down materials of divine relics. Others say that a god had inhabited the original source media and the lingering effects of its powers had passed onto the replicated DVD.

However the item came into being, there was no question that a strange power existed in "Netorare Neko-chan!". Although, it hadn't been called that when it had first started to crop up in history.

Several decades ago, the priestess had come across the DVD at an open market. Sensing the latent power inside the DVD case, she had purchased it and taken it home, where she came to understand the powers that the DVD held.

In essence, it was a will of love. A wish left behind by whatever force had given birth to this kind of item.

A red string of fate. That was what the DVD granted. It would fasten a red string of fate to the one that the possessor of the DVD loved. And, no matter what obstacles stood in the way of these two and their love, the string would pull tight, warping reality to create the opportunities necessary for their love to succeed.

The string made by "Netorare Neko-chan!" could not be broken. Once it was made, the attraction and culmination of love between those connected became unwritten fact.

For a time, the priestess had kept the DVD secret and hidden in her possession. However, one day, she took pity on a boy's struggling feelings, and allowed him to use the DVD.

With her abilities as a medium, the priestess saw that a red string of fate had already tied the two together. The DVD merely strengthened the pull, allowing their unspoken feelings to finally meet. The two fell in love and, although their life wasn't without bumps, they nevertheless spent the rest of their lives together in happiness.

A fairy tale-like ending. Those who saw these two in such a perfect relationship were curious, jokingly at first. But while drinking with friends, the boy revealed that the key to his success had been the DVD given to him by the priestess.

One of his friends had gone straight to the priestess and begged to use the DVD. The priestess, seeing that his feelings were also sincere, allowed him to use the DVD.

Success after success. Over time, the power of the DVD took shape in urban myths and rumors that spread, quietly, but with great speed. The shrine that the priestess eventually took charge of at the time became widely known for ensuring that one's love would go well. It became a famous spot for couples and even relationship and marriage charms began to be sold at this shrine.

The DVD had yet to become common knowledge. However, there were still many people who came to the shrine, specifically to use its power so that they could succeed in their love. Although she had her own concerns, the priestess rarely refused requests; all of these people were earnest and sincere in their feelings.

But then, that incident had occurred.

A girl visited the shrine and asked to see the priestess. She asked if the DVD truly existed.

The priestess confirmed its existence. Seeing that the girl also seemed to be struggling with love, the priestess offered the DVD to the girl.

She threw the DVD onto the ground and spat in the priestess's face.

_Don't joke with me...someone like you...someone like you should go die!_

It would only be years later, when the girl would return to apologize for what she had done, that the true story came to light.

When she had come to the shrine, it had been after having her boyfriend suddenly end their relationship of three years. She hadn't known why...it hadn't made any sense to her. They had never fought before and they had been very open with each other during their relationship. She had never doubted his feelings for her and believed the same of him.

When asked for a reason, the boy had responded with something vague like "I just don't feel it anymore..." Despite her pleas, the boy had been adamant in his decision and completely removed her from his life.

They had gone to the same high school and had been looking to attend the same university when they graduated. They had already made plans to share an apartment together and had been in the middle of making all the proper arrangements.

It was a strange situation. So she had chosen not to believe it. She investigated on her own, trying to find the real reason behind their break-up-

"It really worked! This DVD is amazing..."

"Good for you! I'm so glad you guys got together. You definitely deserve him more than that slut..."

"Right? Parading him around like some kind of trophy...honestly, they would've broken up anyways. There's no way he would've been happy with someone as arrogant as her..."

While the love between the girl and the boy had been sincere, the red string of fate had pulled them apart. In the years after, the girl had found a new partner and entered a happy marriage. She had come to believe that it had been her fault rather than some mysterious power from a DVD and had come back to the priestess to apologize.

But the priestess knew the truth. She realized that her concerns had started to bloom without her noticing. That she had only heard the stories of success...but not about the price that had been paid in return.

And there were countless stories. Many of the users had lent the DVD out during their possession of it. There were many relationships that the priestess had been completely unaware of.

Stories of lovers being taken away. Stories of people who entered successful relationships, but always doubted whether or not their lover "truly" loved them. Stories of other red strings of fate being stretched and snapped by the strength of the DVD.

Some people were happy. Some kept a wall between them and their lover. Some committed suicide, unable to get away from their love and start anew.

It was then that the name "Netorare Neko-chan!" began to crop up. A thieving cat that ruined relationships, homes, lives-

The DVD that had no owner, that did as it pleased with people's feelings.

And so, the priestess sealed away the DVD. She hunted down and destroyed every single copy of the DVD that had ever been made. Then, with the help of a friend at a video rental store, she was able to spread rumors to distort the truth of "Netorare Neko-chan!", to hide its true nature and instead, replace it with the idea that it was a porno, that the stories of broken relationships merely related to the adulterous scenario in the DVD...

With the disappearance of the DVD, the urban myth stayed exactly that; simply a story for couples and people with pining feelings. Instead, a new urban myth began to take shape, one fueled by the search for a porno called "Netorare Neko-chan!".

However, try as they might, no one was ever successful in obtaining this elusive porno...

"That's the story behind the 'Netorare Neko-chan' you're looking for, babies."

No one said a word as the priestess finished her story. A DVD that could tie red strings of fate between people-

"Idiotic," said the labcoat girl. "Do you really expect us to believe that?"

"This isn't a joke, baby," said the priestess. "I've kept this DVD in my possession for all these years because of the danger it poses to those who are in love."

"What a load of crap. If that's really the case, then why a treasure hunt? Why even have a way to the DVD if you don't want anyone to use it?" said the labcoat girl.

"Feh! Because that owner is a crafty businessman," said the priestess, unable to suppress a grin. "He knows that I'll never let this DVD fall into the wrong hands. But look at what's happened in the meantime. The rumors of this DVD...staging the hunt...he's brought customers from all over the world swarming into his business."

A ripple. The power of trends. Even if no one bought anything, to see a natural crowd visiting a store daily, anyone's curiosity would be piqued. And of course, there was always the option of coercing a sale from these individuals, who were risking their lives by clinging so openly to a single area. In the past month, the Bonyari shopping district's local Mitsuya had seen an extremely sharp increase in visitors and sales.

"That damn manager..." said the labcoat, finding it hard to not admire him.

"S-So...'Netorare Neko-chan!'...it really isn't a porno?" said Kosaki.

"Not at all, baby. It's just a powerful item that has no business in human hands..." said the priestess.

"But a red string of fate..." said Ruri, glancing at Kosaki.

_E-Eh...? Ruri-chan, you can't be thinking-_

_Isn't this even better than a porno? After all Kosaki, you heard her-_

_She said relationships were ruined by the DVD!_

Ruri nearly bit her tongue as she held back an instinctive retort. Since Raku clearly had feelings for Kosaki, there was no chance of some kind of recoil damage!

_Do you think you're in any position to worry about that? Ichijou's been confessed to by everyone! All of your friends are competing with you for Ichijou-kun, Kosaki! If you don't put a foot forward, he'll definitely get taken away!_

_That's..._

Kosaki averted her eyes uncomfortably. She knew that. She knew that if she just stood still, her confession would simply fade away into memory.

But...

But something like this...

"I can't do it after all, Ruri-chan..." said Kosaki. "It wouldn't be fair to Chitoge-chan and the others..."

100% guaranteed to make your love come true.

The greatest handicap one could get in this situation.

It was a cheat. A stacked deck.

For Onodera Kosaki, even if it meant that she would lose, accepting such a thing wasn't possible. Because they were her treasured friends. Because, up until now, they had all been moving forward, in their own way, moving forward down the path of love.

Who Raku finally chose shouldn't be decided by something like fate. Rather, it would be between him and the person he chose, between the feelings that reached each other-

Kosaki felt a pang in her heart. _When Ichijou-kun finally chooses..._

"Hmph. Looks like we came all this way here for nothing," said the labcoat girl. She turned to the Black Suits that had come along and scratched her head awkwardly. "What about you guys? Are you interested...?"

"I'm married, Boss."

"I've got a girlfriend."

"I'm only interested in 2D girls."

"Then why the hell did any of you want this porno!?"

The labcoat girl sighed. What had she been expecting from these idiots?

"Well, if that's the case, then I guess we're done here," said the labcoat girl. "Even though I don't feel satisfied at all..."

"Sorry about that, babies," said the priestess, offering a sympathetic smile. "You must've gone through a lot of trouble to get here, so why don't you have some tea before you leave?"

"No thanks. We kind of started a war out there, so we should be leaving soon," said the labcoat girl, grinning maliciously. "That's not a problem for you, right?"

"Brat..."

"Ready to go, Miyamoto Ruri? Onodera Kosaki?"

"...Well. If that's what Kosaki decided on..." said Ruri. But a small smile was playing across her lips. Although she was still frustrated about Kosaki's lack of progress even after confessing, a part of her was proud that Kosaki had decided to forego the DVD. Onodera Kosaki had grown to the point where she was willing to fight on her own two feet.

"Ok then, let's get out of here," said the labcoat girl, taking a walkie-talkie out of her pocket. "Rear section, we're coming down now. Prepare for extraction."

The walkie-talkie replied with hissing white noise.

"...Still nothing?" said the labcoat girl, a troubled expression showing on her face. _Could it be because of this shrine...?_

"Um...excuse me."

Onodera Kosaki had suddenly walked up to the priestess.

"What is it, baby?" said the priestess, smiling pleasantly at her.

"Um...I wanted to ask you a question about the DVD..."

"Oh? What do you want to know?"

Kosaki licked her lips hesitantly. She didn't know why she had suddenly come up to the priestess. She didn't know why this question was suddenly in her head. But it was pushing against her teeth. Squeezing and struggling to get out.

"Can 'Netorare Neko-chan!' work on multiple people at once...?"

It was like her question had been a gunshot. The air went unnaturally still. Ruri and the labcoat girl were stunned into silence.

"Kosaki-chan..."

"Onodera Kosaki...you can't be thinking..."

Kosaki squeezed the hem of her blouse. Maybe there was a chance...maybe that possibility did exist...even if it didn't, she had to know...she had to know so that she could put the possibility to rest-

"Yes, it can," said the priestess.

Kosaki's breath caught. Her mouth worked furiously to get the next question out.

"Then...is it possible...to have the DVD connect multiple red strings to a single person...?"

Ruri couldn't believe what she was hearing. Kosaki..._her_ Kosaki...the one that had been unable to confess to one guy since middle school, the one that rarely spoke her mind, the herbivore that was as soft and diminutive as mochi-

Was trying to...create a harem.

"Oh...I see," said the priestess, chuckling. "It's about _that_ boy..."

The priestess took a new cigarette and a match out from her sash. She lit the cigarette and let it smolder in her hand, the smoke rising out in a thin cloud. She put it to her lips, the tobacco glowing brightly for a second, then blew smoke out into the air.

"Yes, it can," said the priestess, looking back into Kosaki's eyes. "And? What do you plan on doing?"

Even though her black sunglasses completely covered her eyes, Kosaki still felt like the priestess was staring through her. Piercing into her heart and mind. In front of the priestess, Kosaki felt naked and vulnerable.

"I..."

Her eyes flickered back and forth from the priestess. The words had gotten all jumbled up in her mouth now. The smell of the cigarette was spreading through her head, fogging up her thoughts.

"P...um..."

It was like standing in front of a crowd while making a speech. Feeling like everything she was saying, everything she was thinking, all of it was being scrutinized. Carefully heard, then dissected and criticized. Dozens of words were piling up in her head, but none of them were the right ones, none of them _fit_ for what she needed to say.

She continued to stand there. Stand there and try and think of a way to say this right, a way that would convince the priestess, a way that would allow her to get what she wanted-

But Onodera Kosaki was not a manipulative person. She was not aggressive, she was not forceful; if someone said no to her, there was little she could do. There was little that she was willing to do.

Kosaki realized that there was only one way to say it. One way for _her_ to say it. So, she opened her mouth and with all the force and air she could muster, she shouted in with all of her hopes, her feelings, her expectations-

"P-PLEASE LET ME USE 'NETORARE NEKO-CHAN!'"

Kosaki bowed her head with her plea. She closed her eyes and prayed, prayed for a miracle that she didn't think would happen-

The priestess smiled and took a deep breath. She blew more smoke into the air and considered Kosaki's request.

"The last one to use the DVD was like you..." said the priestess, the end of the cigarette glowing again. "He wanted to use it for someone else's sake, for a friend who had been in love with someone since his childhood..."

The priestess took off her sunglasses and looked at Kosaki with kind eyes.

"You're a good girl, baby. I can tell from just looking at you. And you worked hard on that day when you and your friends helped me out," said the priestess. "But that man before you was a good person too. But even then, I wouldn't let him use it. Because I couldn't trust that he'd keep his word. So, he made me a deal...and it was enough for me to believe that he was truly, truly sincere."

The priestess took the DVD back out from her sash.

"Baby, do you think you have what it takes to do the same?"

"A deal...? What kind of deal...?" said Kosaki, her eyes drifting to the black DVD case.

"A trade," said the priestess, holding the DVD out to her. "The love that will come true because of this DVD's power will be unique. You will never experience a love like this because there will be no love after this. In that case, I think it's fair to ask for something unique to you in return."

"Something unique to me...?" said Kosaki. Ruri and the labcoat girl came up behind her, seeing that the DVD had appeared again.

"Something as simple as that?" said the labcoat girl, snorting. "Just give her a drop of your blood then, Onodera Kosaki."

"No," said the priestess, smiling again. "Don't get smart with me, baby. Just as the red string of fate will define her love and life from now on, this unique something must be something that defines who this girl is, right now, at this moment."

"Her panties."

"B-Boss-san!"

"This then?" said Ruri, flapping the long lock of hair on Kosaki's left side.

"Ruri-chan...is that really all that's unique about me...?"

"How about her horrible cooking skills?" said the labcoat girl.

"J-Jeez! Can you two please take this seriously!"

Ruri and the labcoat girl continued making random suggestions to the priestess. The Black Suits joined in with their own suggestions, like her key to the locket or her picture of Ichijou-kun on her desk. Blushing furiously from all of these weird suggestions, Kosaki thought hard about what unique thing she could trade for the DVD.

_Maybe...my skills with decoration...?_ No, the priestess had said something that defined who she was. Her decorating skills were certainly great and important to her, but she couldn't see it as a defining feature.

_Maybe if I think about what's unique about everyone else, that'll give me a clue..._

If it was Chitoge here, she would probably offer the red ribbon that she always wore. If it was Tsugumi then...the cute bow in her hair? And if it was Marika, the flower ornament that was always on her head...

...

Was Ruri-chan right about her hair being the only unique part of her...?

"Now, now," said the priestess, chuckling at all of their suggestions. "It's really not that difficult...I can tell you, baby, that there's at least one unique thing that definitely defines you right now."

"E-Eh!?" said the three girls.

"W-What is it...?" said Kosaki, feeling a little depressed that she couldn't think of anything herself.

"It's something that a young girl in love like you will surely have...something that has affected your life greatly until now..." said the priestess, putting her glasses back on.

For some reason, Kosaki felt a chill drip down into her stomach. The priestess smiled again, but this time, it was like one of the labcoat girl's smiles...almost mocking...a cold smile that was drawing her in...

"That thing is your first love."

"...Eh?"

Her...first love?

What did she mean by that...?

"You...you bitch..."

The labcoat girl's face had tightened with fury. She walked up to the priestess and seized her by the collar of her kimono.

"What the hell did you just say...?" said the labcoat girl.

"Her first love..." said the priestess, the smoke from her cigarette blowing into the labcoat girl's face. "Like the love from a red string of fate, it's a love that she'll never experience again. A love that changed her as a person..."

"Her first love? How can she trade her first love...?" said Ruri. "Do you mean you want the person? You want her to trade you..."

"No...not the boy," said the priestess with a dry laugh. "Her feelings. Her connections. Her experiences. Her memories. Everything that stemmed from her having fallen in love with this person...that's what she would trade."

Her first love. In short, it would be as if she had never fallen in love, that very first time.

For Onodera Kosaki, her love was a special thing. Ruri knew it. The labcoat girl knew it. That when the priestess talked about a unique thing that truly defined Onodera Kosaki, it would surely be her love for Ichijou Raku.

The love that had made her choose Bonyari High School instead of an all-girl's school-

The love that had made her take steps forward, made her take chances that she never would have taken, make decisions that she never would have made-

The love that she had discussed with friends, that had connected her to friends, the love that had kept her within that circle-

It was no exaggeration to say that love could change your life. Love was enough to make you reconsider yourself, to change yourself, to mold yourself for the sake of another person.

To take someone's first love...it wasn't only the feelings that would be gone. It was the changes and experiences that happened because of those feelings. It was the outlook on love that would come only from having the experience of loving someone. Perhaps...even to an extent...the bodily changes that came from the rushing chemicals and impulses triggered by that heart-squeezing sensation-

"You...do you know what you're saying right now!?" shouted the labcoat girl, shaking the priestess violently. "No...you know exactly what you're saying. You know exactly what you're telling her. You're telling Onodera Kosaki to give up _three years of her life!_"

_No..._thought Ruri, her face turning pale. If Ichijou Raku really was the boy who gave her the key eleven years ago...If he had been her first love back then...then not just three..._all_ those years would be traded away...

All of those memories. All of those experiences. The life that had been directed by her feelings for Raku-

How much would be left?

...Would there be anything left of Onodera Kosaki?

"Don't...you can't!" said Ruri, grabbing Kosaki by the arm. Kosaki flinched at the intensity of her tone. "You can't do it, Kosaki!"

"Ruri-chan..." _But...if everyone is connected with the red string of fate, then..._

"Onodera Kosaki...you'd be sacrificing yourself for the others," said the labcoat girl. "Even if you were ok with that...do you think your friends would want you to make this decision? Didn't you say it wouldn't be fair if you used the DVD for yourself? Why do you think that it's fair if everyone except you gets what they want!?"

Kosaki faltered at those words. It was true...she was being hypocritical right now. She knew that Chitoge and the others wouldn't want her to do something like this. She knew that if the other girls had tried to do this, she would've told them the same thing.

Don't do it!

I'll never forgive you if you do this!

It's too sad...it's too lonely...

She knew that. She could hear them yelling at her.

But...

But even then...

_Ichijou-kun will choose someone..._

_And when that happens...everyone else that wasn't chosen..._

Kosaki clenched her eyes shut. Right now, there was no way for everyone to be happy. Right now, the best path that Raku could take was a path where only one girl had a happy ending. The rest would have to live with the decision, have to live with their broken feelings-

_I don't want that..._

_I don't want to...I don't want Ichijou-kun to have to make that kind of choice..._

She wanted all of her friends to be happy.

She wanted all of them to be as they were now, to stay in these peaceful, warm days.

But that was impossible. Life wasn't that convenient. There was no secret route, there was no special command that'd make things all better-

There was only a cheat. A despicable cheat.

"I..."

Kosaki's words were muffled by the labcoat girl's hand.

"Onodera Kosaki..." said the labcoat girl. "You're too nice. You're not suited for this kind of thing."

She twisted Kosaki around by the shoulders. She kicked her in the butt and made her stagger forward.

"So I'll make the decision for you. We are leaving. End of story," said the labcoat girl.

"But-!"

"Kosaki," said Ruri, pulling her hand. "...Stop. Please."

A lump appeared in Kosaki's throat. Her best friend...behind those glasses of hers...

She had never seen Ruri look so desperate before.

"Ok..." said Kosaki, her bangs covering her eyes. "I won't...I won't do it."

"Good," said the labcoat girl. She turned back to the priestess, who was still standing there with the DVD extended out. "We're leaving. If you try another bullshit stunt like that, I'll crush those glasses into your goddamn skull."

The priestess wordlessly put the DVD back into her sash. Lacking a way to release her frustration, the labcoat girl snorted and turned away with a huff.

"Have more respect for yourself," said the labcoat girl to Kosaki as she passed by. Kosaki wilted a little, feeling the words sink deeply into her heart.

And so, the group departed from the shrine.

* * *

The crunching of leaves under their feet. The soft patter of their soles against stone.

Silently, they walked down the path from the shrine.

"We're deviating here," said the labcoat girl, taking a left into the foliage. "We'll come out at a different place from the main entrance. There'll be a team of Black Suits there ready to escort us to safety."

"You weren't able to get 'Netorare Neko-chan!'," said Ruri, brushing aside a few branches as she followed the labcoat girl. "What's going to happen once we leave the shrine...?"

"If you mean the hunters, they're likely already here and starting a fight," said the labcoat girl. "I wouldn't mind letting this whole damn shrine get blown up...but we have the Bonyari police force cooperating with us right now...I'll just have to continue with my original plan."

"Which was?"

"Separating from you guys, for starters. We'll leave you with the Bonyari police force. If they're timely, you might even meet your friends down there; it's safer to have them under protection from my group and the police than having them be easy targets at their homes. Of course, I have some Black Suits monitoring your homes too, in case there are any assassins that want to play rough..."

_Ah...I see. That's why she chose something flashy like a hot-air balloon...she wanted all of the hunters to come to one spot so she could manage them..._

"The original plan was to separate and then leak info that we have possession of 'Netorare Neko-chan!'" continued the labcoat girl. "That'd get all of them off your backs and onto ours for a bit. Then we could focus on settling our affairs with those small-fry."

The labcoat girl grinned wickedly.

"But since you don't have 'Netorare Neko-chan!' right now..."

"It doesn't matter. We just need them to _think _we have it. And since that priestess has no intention of handing the DVD over to those hunters...they'll probably believe that we do have it."

"I see..." said Ruri, nodding. "So then, everything's settled..."

"I told you, I'd take care of you two," said the labcoat girl, winking. "We're at the endgame right now...we just need to make our escape and everything will be over."

"I'm glad. Today has been...pretty intense," said Ruri, flashing a rare, true smile. The labcoat girl echoed the expression.

"Yeah...it's a shame that you two weren't able to get your porno. I was interested in seeing how that would go," said the labcoat girl. "It would've been fun, don't you think, Onodera Kosaki?"

There was no reply. Ruri and the labcoat girl stopped. It looked like they'd gotten a little ahead of everyone.

"Onodera Kosaki!" said the labcoat girl. "...I know how you're feeling. But you made the right decision. There's no point in regretting it. In the first place, you're just a bunch of regular high school students. It's for the best that you didn't get any of this supernatural shit interfering with your life."

The bushes shook slightly as the others began to catch up.

"You'll need to take care of her when you guys get back, Miyamoto Ruri," said the labcoat girl, resting her hands on her hips. "It was the right decision, but it was still a sacrifice she had to make on her part."

"Yes...I know," said Ruri. Even though the answer seemed so obvious to Ruri, she also knew that it had been hard for Kosaki. The events of today had been crazy, but it didn't change the fact that tomorrow, she would be going back to the days where her friendship would be resting delicately against her love.

The bushes shook again and the Black Suits emerged from the inside them.

"Wooh! Boss! Can we lead after this...it's sort of hard to follow you two when you're both so small..."

Both girls felt their veins throb.

"Sure, you can lead," said the labcoat girl after having punched the Black Suits a few times. Ah, just what she needed. Letting out all that steam from before really made her feel better. "Alright, let's get going. Where's Onodera Kosaki? Is she still back there?"

"Huh? She's not here? We thought she was with you, Boss."

"What are you talking about? Wasn't she with you guys?" said Ruri. She ran back towards the bushes and peeked into them.

"Miyamoto Ruri..."

Ruri whipped around. The labcoat girl was staring off into the distance, sweat trickling down her face.

"No...there's no way..." said Ruri, her eyes widening in realization.

"Damn it...we should've been watching!" said the labcoat girl, rushing into the bushes. "Hurry, we have to stop her!"

They burst out of the foliage and back onto the stone path. Taking the steps three at a time, the two girls pumped their legs as quickly as possible. In seconds, the shrine came back into the view. They passed the water purification fountain, passed the stall where charms were being sold, and towards the entrance into the main grounds-

_BANG!_

Ruri and the labcoat girl toppled back as their heads cracked against something hard.

"What...?" said Ruri, one eye closed in pain. She reached out with her hand to the gate.

An invisible wall. It was blocking the way into the shrine's main grounds.

"No..." breathed the labcoat girl, feeling the wall. It was hard and smooth. Slamming her fist into it made no dent. "No!"

"Kosaki..." said Ruri, pushing up against the wall. "Kosaki!"

"Don't worry. The girl is fine."

The priestess came into view and stood behind the invisible wall.

"What have you done, you goddamn bitch!" screamed the labcoat girl, pounding at the wall.

"The girl seemed to have second thoughts...so I allowed her to come in," said the priestess. She pointed at the invisible wall with her cigarette. "But I wanted her to have some peace of mind while she's making her decision so..."

"Let us in...let us in, right now, or I'll-!" said the labcoat girl, panting with breaths of anger that stymied her words.

"I'm sorry. But she's made her choice," said the priestess. "I can't let you interfere."

"Interfere!? You tricked her! You know what's at stake and you let her in!" shouted the labcoat girl, pounding again at the wall. "Don't fuck with me...let us in. LET US IN, RIGHT NOW!"

"Kosaki! Kosaki!" shouted Ruri, her hands clawing at the wall.

"Shoot it down," said the labcoat girl, pulling Ruri away. The Black Suits nodded and began assembling their rocket launcher.

"She'll come out when she's ready..." said the priestess, walking away. "Although...you may not remember that..."

"SHOOT THIS DAMN WALL DOWN!" screamed the labcoat girl. The rocket launcher fired. The explosion splashed over the entrance, the flames biting at the wall and gate.

But nothing burned. Nothing moved. The flames fell away onto the ground, burning up into smoke, completely ineffective.

"That can't be..." said Ruri, her eyes watering. "Kosaki...no..."

"Fire again!"

"Yes, Boss!"

The rockets burst against the wall again. And again. And again.

Sparks spit past the labcoat girl's face, stinging her cheek, smearing soot on her skin-

But it didn't change anything.

They still couldn't stop Onodera Kosaki.

* * *

**A/N: **_Goodbye Kosaki. Bit tired, so will edit more precisely later.  
_


	41. HSKC 14 -The Arguments of Onodera Kosaki

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)**

**The Arguments of Onodera Kosaki  
**

_Part Fourteen_

* * *

At the moment, I was standing in complete darkness. Just a little while ago, I thought I could hear voices in the distance. But as of right now, they had stopped.

Right now, only I was in this room. Quiet. So quiet that I could hear the echoes of my own breathing. Standing there, in the darkness, I couldn't feel anything. Nothing underneath my feet. Nothing rushing through my hair and fingers. Even the pull of gravity seemed to be absent.

In this silent, empty space, I wanted to believe that I was standing. It felt natural, to imagine my body like that. Because before this darkness, I had been stepping into the main grounds of the shrine...talking to the priestess again...

Even though I shouldn't have-

Even though Ruri-chan and Boss-san didn't want me to-

I ran back. I rushed through the branches, back onto the stone steps, back up to the shrine. The air clung to my throat and lungs, scraping as I panted and gasped. Hurried before they could stop me, the sound of my blood pounding in the back of my head.

Something like that...I think something like that might've happened.

But I wasn't sure. For some reason, it didn't feel like it mattered.

Or probably, it was just not as important. Compared to the thoughts that were in my mind now, compared to the problem that I was currently facing-

That's right...

At this moment, I was...

A spot of light. Then another. Expanding into a flicker, then into strobing bars.

A white square. A screen. Then color, sound, action-

A young boy on the screen. A girl following after. Two girls...one with blonde hair and brown eyes-

Running on a hill. Laughing. One of the girls struggling to keep up, her worried face scrunched up as she tried to run faster-

It's cute, I thought. It's adorable...really.

Even though if you thought about it, the girl must have been anxious. Feeling like she might be left behind...that any second now, she'd be all alone-

It's not like that. I'm sure that they were friends. I'm sure that they wouldn't leave her behind and she knew that.

It was probably more like...

...she didn't want to hold them back.

The sound was garbled. The picture was blurry. For some reason, the rest of this scene was fuzzy.

Mm. Yeah. That was probably...back then.

Eleven years ago...that summer when I was a five...and a boy I had grown close to gave me a key...

Ichijou-kun...

I wanted to think it was him. And with all the pieces we've seen, I really think it was him. I hope it was him.

My first love.

But...thinking about it now...I guess it wasn't really love. I can't remember what he looked like or much of what we did together. I was five years old, but to have forgotten so much-

Maybe I loved him. But I don't think it was love. I don't think I would have been old enough to know what love was really like. Probably that boy...I must have admired him. I must have appreciated him. Because back then, I was shy...really shy. And he took me out that summer...made sure that I had fun even if I was too worried to, too anxious about myself...about other people...

Yeah. I still remember the feelings from back then. I was really grateful to him. I was really happy that he played with me. That he talked with me and that we created memories...

Memories that faded, but left a mark. A shadow of itself, but still vibrant, still warm to the touch.

But...as I thought...

These feelings are different...

Different from what I've been feeling now...

The screen changed. Voices could be heard, the picture was clearer now, the scene depicted unmistakeable-

"W-Waahh!"

"AGGHHH, HOT! HOT HOT!"

A young middle school girl, tripping in a restaurant-

A young middle school boy, scalded by a steaming bowl of chukadon-

A..Ahh...why did I have to meet Ichijou-kun like that...?

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Are you ok, I didn't burn you, did I?"

"N-No...I'm fine. I think..."

_Ahhh, I shouldn't have been rushing...I should've paid attention to where I was going! It's all because the _chukadon _here smelled so good..._

_Eh...?_

_W-Wait...this person..._

_Isn't that my school's uniform...?_

_W-Which means...h-he's...!_

"Ah...huh? W-Wait...aren't you Onodera-san...?"

_!?_

_H-He knows me!? B-But I don't think I've ever met him before..._

"Y-Yes...My name is Onodera Kosaki. Um...sorry, but have we met...?"

"Ah...I don't think we've met personally, but I think we're in the same year..."

"I see. So I was right...we do go to the same scho-"

"Kosaki-chan, are you ok? What happened?"

A short girl with glasses pushed her way through the crowd of people.

"Ah Ruri-chan..."

The middle school girl wiped her eyes, which had teared up a little from worry. The girl with glasses saw the boy and the remains of her friend's rice bowl all over the ground.

"Y-You bastard...Kosaki-chan really wanted to eat that _chukadon_ and you push her down-!"

"E-Eh!? Ruri-chan!?"

"Huh!? W-Wait a minute, you've got it all wrong! I didn't push her do-!"

Commotion in the restaurant. Laughter at the feud between youngsters and a scolding for creating a ruckus.

Really...

Why did I have to meet Ichijou-kun that way...?

The three middle schoolers sat down with their bowls of _chukadon_ and began savoring the taste. The sweetness of the vegetables, lightly kissed with char from the stir-fry. Plump shrimp and juicy mushrooms providing chew and the thin layer of gravy mingling with the hot, piping rice. They sat, chewing in bliss, and then began discussing the flavor together, finding out that they had both come here specifically to try the taste of this restaurant's most popular dish...

The screen slowly moved away, introducing another screen, like a series of slides. The happy conversation about the _chukadon_ faded away and a new one began.

The boy and girl meeting again in the same class. Greetings exchanged and the hope that they would get along well during the year...

An exchange in the hallway as they passed each other during lunch...

Meeting at the shoe lockers, saying goodbye for the day...

Noticing him doing little things...like helping a friend carry papers. Or that flustered expression on his face when people from his house came to pick him up.

Easing into conversation...until it felt so natural that a year passed by so quickly...

Realizing that she was always watching for him...always looking forward to the small exchanges they would make in class or in passing...

The screens continued to pass slowly, the lights casting squares on the dark floor, like a train passing through in the night. Sitting there, with my arms hugging my knees, watching as Ichijou-kun began doing backflips in the snow...so happy that I had succeeded in making it into Bonyari High School...

[Cut]

[Flicker]

[A young girl with dark, chestnut brown hair parted on the right.]

[Please introduce yourself.]

My name is Onodera Kosaki. I am 17 years old, currently in my second-year at Bonyari High School.

[Flicker]

[White noise]

[So, why did you come here today?]

I wanted to use "Netorare Neko-chan!"...to make everyone's love come true...

[Who is everyone?]

Chitoge-chan, Tsugumi-chan, Marika-chan, Haru, Yui-sensei...

[How would their love come true?]

The priestess said that the DVD could tie red strings of fate to someone...so if I used it to tie a string leading from everyone to Ichijou-kun-

[That sort of thing...is impossible.]

[Do you really think such a convenient answer exists?]

[You have no proof that it exists-] [It's just the word of a priestess from a shrine-] [An urban myth, a story that probably won't come true-]

[Even so, you'll chase after it?]

...Yes. That's all I can do.

Because I don't have an answer.

Since middle school...I've loved Ichijou-kun. Over the years, I wondered sometimes if it really was love. Maybe it was like the feelings I had as a kid. I was happy when I talked with him I was happy when we met between classes I was happy that it felt like we were becoming good friends-

Seeing the kindness that he stretched out to others, freely, willingly-

No...nothing like that. It wasn't anything big like that.

Do I love Ichijou-kun?

Yes.

Why? What do I love about him?

I don't know. Everything...I guess.

Isn't that sort of vague? It just sounds like there's nothing that really stands out. Like you never really spent any time to think about it. Are you sure you love him?

I do.

I like how kind he is. I like that he tries to help people sincerely. I like it that he tries so hard to get animals to like him, even though they always end up biting him for some reason. I like his dreams of wanting to become a civil servant, that he's found something he wants to do himself even though he could just take over for his family...

I like the exasperated smile he has when he decides to let things go, but he'll still do his best to make sure nothing bad happens. I like it when he argues with Chitoge-chan, but they always make up afterwards by getting something to eat. I like how he can't handle Marika-chan, but he never pushes her out of his life. I like it when he cooks because he works diligently for the person that'll be tasting his food. I like how he'll drop everything to help someone in trouble, even if it means more trouble for himself.

There are so many things that I like about him. Maybe it seems noncommittal...maybe it seems like I really don't know him and I'm just seeing in him what I want to see.

I'm not smart. Ruri-chan says that I'm dense, that sometimes I can't see what's right in front of me. Maybe that's true. Maybe I just can't understand these things very well...

That's why...it's difficult. I can't express in words what I want to say. I can't figure out what I really love about Ichijou-kun, what my feelings really are.

I think I'm a simple person...

So, all I can say is that I'm in love with him.

If you ask me if I think Maiko-kun is a good guy, I'll say he is. But there will be times where I wonder...maybe Maiko-kun is a little eccentric...

If you ask me if I'm good at cooking, I'll say no. I'm terrible at it...but maybe...I can get better if I practice and work hard...

If you ask me if I want to take over the family business in the future, I'll say that I probably will. That I like making candies and talking with customers, that I like our shop. But...maybe there will be something else I want to do. Maybe...there's something else I haven't found yet that I want to do.

I'm not straightforward. I'm not someone who can stand up straight at all times and walk forward without looking back. I'm timid and shy...I want to get along with others, so I don't want to force anything on them.

If it was someone-

Just anyone-

I will say hello. I will have a normal conversation with them. I will act normally and part on good terms. If I meet them again, then I will say hello and have another normal conversation.

That's all. With anyone else, it's the same. A normal interaction. A normal reaction.

No embarrassment. No flustered panic. No shock at having done something daring...out of character...

It's only with Ichijou-kun...

Only for my feelings for Ichijou-kun...that I'm willing to change...that I _want_ to change...to look forward and sprint as hard as I can, without looking back-

Because that's the one thing that I believe in. Without hesitation, without any doubts.

The only question that you can ask me, where I will answer, with complete confidence, without any intent to back down-

My answer is that I am in love with Ichijou-kun.

**Liar.**

If that's true, then why do you want to use the DVD?

If that's true, then why do you put others' happiness above yours?

I...

That's...

...wrong. It's not a lie...

I want my friends to be happy. I treasure my friends. I love Chitoge-chan, Tsugumi-chan, Yui-sensei, Haru, Marika-chan, Ruri-chan, everyone-

I want them to be happy too. I want them to be as happy as I want to be.

Because...

...they're my friends. Because...

Difficult. Something else that you can't express in words.

Love. Love for someone, in the form of a lover. Love for someone, in the form of marriage. Love for someone, in the form of friendship. Love for someone, in the form of family.

Which is really **love?**

Which is the love that people mean when they talk about love?

[Onodera Kosaki. 17 years old. Currently in love with Ichijou Raku.]

[She also loves her family. Loves her friends.]

[So the question is: Which do you love more?]

No...that's wrong...

Why do you have to choose...why do you have to say one is more important than the other-

[Typical Japanese-]

[Are you fine with that? That noncommittal sort of answer. Then, it would be fine for you, wouldn't it?]

[If Ichijou Raku didn't choose. If Ichijou Raku said that he loved all of you and that all of you were important to him.]

[That would make you happy. That would be the answer to your problems. That's why you want to use "Netorare Neko-chan!"]

[You're satisfied with that.]

[You're satisfied with being in the same position as everyone else.]

That's...

[That's fine. That's how it will be. You will be the same as everyone else. You'll be special, but just as special as the others.]

[There's no need for a choice to be made. There's no need for Ichijou-kun to pick someone as the most important.]

So, tell him. He knows that everyone loves him now. Convince him. Convince everyone. That you can all get through this together. That there's no need for anyone to compete. You all love him the same way, so it's fine like that. Ichijou-kun is the heir to a yakuza organization. He can figure something out. In fact, you can all just be concubines-

No...

That's not...

That's not what I meant-

Everyone's feelings are sincere. I'm sure of it. I know, because I love Ichijou-kun, I can recognize it-

I knew him longer than Chitoge and the others. If Ichijou-kun was the boy from eleven years ago, then I've known him longer than even Marika-chan and Yui-sensei. I'm the one that's stood by Ichijou-kun's side all these years, it should be me-

NO.

Who...who said that?

It wasn't me. I didn't-

I wouldn't-

It's your real feelings.

You're not satisfied.

You're not willing to accept that your love will be the same as others. That you're not special, that all that you worked for will just become part of a compromise.

No, no...I just...I just want us to all be happy...

Happy? What do you mean by happy? Won't they be happy like this? Don't you mean a situation where no one has any hard feelings, where no one _can_ have hard feelings? When all that you _can_ do is enjoy being together?

You don't understand. I see. It's too difficult. You're a simple person.

Ok. So, just look forward then.

Charge through them. Cut them down. Leave their bodies to rot behind you.

You said it, right? You love Ichijou-kun. That's something that can't be shaken. That's something that you can't doubt.

But you can doubt your friends. You can doubt their feelings. So they'll break anyway. They'll crack and crumble.

Don't put your eggs in a ratty basket like that.

You're better than them. You're more deserving than them. If you can't accept that, then accept that you're in love with Ichijou-kun. Accept that it's because you're so confident in your love that you're willing to do anything for it.

So cut. Them. Off.

Get rid of your baggage, Onodera Kosaki.

I should...

I could...

[Use "Netorare Neko-chan!".]

[Just once. Just once is enough.]

No, I can't-

I can't-!

[What's wrong? What's holding you back?]

[YOU LOVE HIM, DON'T YOU? ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR. STOP HOLDING THEIR HANDS AND SLIT THEIR THROATS-]

No, no, NO!

...

...

[Flicker]

[Onodera Kosaki. 17 years old. Currently a second-year in Bonyari High School.]

[Do you really love Ichijou Raku?]

I do.

[Do you want him to love you back?]

I do.

[Do you want your friends to be happy?]

Yes. I do.

[Will they be satisfied with this answer? Will they be fine with a harem?]

I don't know.

[Are you satisfied?]

I don't know.

[Are you willing to use "Netorare Neko-chan!" just for yourself?]

Stop it. Don't...

[Are you afraid? Afraid that it won't be real? That you'll think, because you're tied by the red string of fate, maybe he never actually had any feelings for you-]

No, that's not it...stop. Please. That's not it...

[If you tie them, then it's a fake love.]

[It will turn all of their feelings into fake loves.]

[You will ruin them.]

No, that's not why-!

Stop...stop talking to me...you're lying and you're being cruel and you're-

Making it seem like you're selfish.

You're greedy.

You're callous and cold-hearted.

You're a backstabber and a terrible friend.

You're scum of the worst kind.

[That's true, isn't it?]

All because you love him.

All because you want him to love you.

It's not nice.

It's not innocent and pure.

It's muddy. It's dark. It's suffocating.

You're scared. That's why you're tying them. That's why you're not tying yourself. Because it's easier to be the good guy. It's easier to not have to get your hands dirty, keep them clean-

[You're running away.]

[You're afraid of the choices people make.]

[That's the only reason you're making a choice now.]

[Because you're in a corner. Because you have nowhere else to go.]

You're choosing their happiness for them because that's what's most convenient for you. Because your feelings hurt you, because your feelings changed you, because they're dirtying you-

You want to discard them, so you will.

Get rid of your first love. Ichijou Raku.

Forget him. Forget everything. Forget Chitoge-chan, forget Tsugumi-chan, forget Marika-chan-

All of those people that you only met because you loved Ichijou-kun, because you wanted to stay close to him-

She would lose it all.

She would never remember. Perhaps, if fate was merciful, she may become friends with them. Perhaps they would be in the same class again. Perhaps she would talk to them, chat with them, hang out with them, discuss their love and support them, worry with them, study with them, graduate with them-

But the Onodera Kosaki of now would no longer exist.

Because the Onodera Kosaki of now was one who was in love with Ichijou Raku, who had confessed to Ichijou Raku, who was friends with the girls that were also in love with Ichijou Raku.

Even her character traits were the same. The same as Ichijou Raku. In essence, the Onodera Kosaki of now would not exist, would not even be in the manga if it wasn't for Ichijou Raku.

Onodera Kosaki loved Ichijou Raku. But so did Kirisaki Chitoge. And Tsugumi Seishirou. And Tachibana Marika. And more.

They could not all become happy. Because society and laws wouldn't let them. Because they wouldn't let themselves be happy. They wouldn't be satisfied all being in the same place, compromising-

But Onodera Kosaki loved her friends.

She wanted them to be happy moreso than her own happiness. That was the kindness of Onodera Kosaki, the character that had been created from loving Ichijou Raku.

That was why she would tie the red string of fate, in exchange for her own feelings. It wasn't for ugly reasons like running away. It wasn't because she gave up.

It was because it was the only answer that she had. It was the only way that she knew that their loves would come true. Not forcibly. Not unwillingly. They all loved him. And she knew that Ichijou Raku loved his friends. She knew that the decision was troubling him because he was kind, because he was the kind of person that she loved.

It was not a gamble.

It was just a means to an end. A secret entrance to an impossible treasure.

That was her resolve. That was her feelings for her friends, for Ichijou Raku.

Nothing more. Nothing less. That was why she had come to this decision. No other reason. No matter what she thought. No matter what anyone thought.

I love Ichijou Raku. I love my friends. It might be unfair, it might be selfish, it might be unreasonable of me-

But I want everyone to be happy.

[But don't you think they want that too? Don't you think that they want you to be happy too?]

Yes. I know that. I know, because that's what I would feel if I was in their position.

[Even so, this is your decision? Your answer?]

...

To lose her friends. But she wouldn't remember it. They wouldn't remember it. In fact, there may be a chance that they would become friends again. That she might fall in love with Ichijou-kun again. It wasn't a death sentence, there was still hope for her feelings-

But there was no guarantee.

The worst scenario was that she would merely know them as classmates. Perhaps...although she didn't want to believe it, even Ruri-chan...Ruri who had helped her so much over the years, who had pushed her, who had concerned herself too much with Kosaki's feelings...

The only guarantee was that the life that Onodera Kosaki knew would no longer exist.

I...

I don't...want that...

I'm...scared...

I don't want to lose Ichijou-kun...

I don't want to lose Chitoge-chan, Ruri-chan, everyone...

I want to be with everyone, I want to graduate together, I want to see each other in university, I want these days to keep going...

I don't want to...make a decision.

I don't want to...do this...

I don't...want to...

But she had to.

She had no other choice, right?

She had no other options, right?

This was...

This was the only answer.

This was the only answer that she could come up with, so it had to be the right answer. It had to be the answer that she would have the least regrets about.

...That would hurt them the least.

Because they would never experience the pain. They would never know that a sacrifice had been made.

Everything. Would vanish. Into dust. Into air.

A reset. A better world. A better future.

...

Onodera Kosaki sat in the darkness. She buried her head into her knees. She rubbed her wet eyes into them, shaking sobs forcing themselves past her lips.

Cold. Dark. Suffocating.

For once, Onodera Kosaki was truly all alone.

* * *

[Onodera Kosaki. 17 years old.]

[Please make your decision.]


	42. HSKC 15 - Prelude to the Discourse 2

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)**

**Prelude to the Discourse 2 (Break)  
**

_Part Fifteen  
_

* * *

Down the stairs, past the _torii_ gate, at the front of the shrine's entrance-

Fifteen minutes ago-

The hunters had arrived on the scene.

"Heh. So those guys really beat us to the punch."

On one side, the mish-mash combination of criminal organizations from all over the world. On the other side, the "Shield of False Love" x Bonyari police force.

As numerous as these criminal organizations were, there were no real major players here. Larger criminal organizations had better things to do than chase after a porno and even those that had been interested were only willing to expend a small strike force for the job. As a result, while there were certainly many hunters after "Netorare Neko-chan!", the total number was not much more than the large numbers commanded by the Black Suits/Bonyari Police combo.

Still, the hunters here were not amateurs. The rookies and low-rank organizations were still trapped back at the Bonyari shopping district. The group of hunters that had made it here were an elite core and knew fully well that charging in recklessly would only repeat the chaos that had happened at the shopping district. That would just cause more confusion and lower their chances at snatching away "Netorare Neko-chan!". Therefore, after much deliberation, the hunters had decided on a representative to handle negotiations.

"...Tell me again why I have to do this?"

"It has to be you! Look, ma'am, I've met a lot of people in my life. Good people, scary people, violent people, cowardly people. So you can trust me when I tell you that you're definitely the most fearsome person I've ever met! The aura that you were giving off back there was tremendous! Everyone around you was cowering back like a bunch of beaten dogs."

"Even if you say that...I don't really understand..."

"What's there to understand! All we need is you to handle negotiations with the scary guy over there. I hate to admit it, but the situation we're in is pretty dire. We need a sweeper that'll make this go right in one go! And we've all talked this out and decided that you're the person with the best chances at browbea- I mean coming to acceptable terms with that guy."

"Like I keep saying...I don't get it at all..."

"Ma'am, please! Please do this for us, you're our only ho-"

"I'm sorry, but I really don't understand English. Do you speak any Japanese...?"

At the moment, the mother of Onodera Kosaki, Onodera Nanako, was surrounded by criminals.

"Ah, I see. So that's the problem," said the gangster, nodding understandingly. "Well, I'm really not confident with my speaking skills in Japanese, so I'll turn you over to my brother here."

"Heeellloooo," said the second gangster, speaking in a slow, drawn-out manner. "Weeeee neeedoooo yooouuu heeellppuuuuuuu."

_What is this guy saying...?_ thought Nanako with a （￣^￣；）face.

Well, in any case, Nanako was pretty sure that she had the gist of the situation. After all, seeing a crowd of what looked like hard and seasoned criminals standing across from the Bonyari police force and a bunch of SP-looking people: the only reason they'd want a civilian like her to go over to them would be for some negotiation tactic. Probably the envelope that they had handed her had their demands written inside.

To be honest, Nanako really wanted to just leave. But, as tough as she might look on the outside, Onodera Nanako was still just an innocent mother of two.

She couldn't say no to a bunch of grown-men that were looking at her like desperate little kids. They must really be in a jam if they were willing to shame themselves like that.

"I understand. I'll go talk it out with them," said Nanako, sighing. Onodera Nanako had simply been returning from a meeting with a supplier for her store. To her surprise, Bonyari had descended into complete chaos during her time away. She had even heard from some bystanders that the Shuei-gumi and the Beehive group had had a massive conflict and knocked each other out. Police alerts were being sent out, urging that residents stay off the streets today.

But now she understood why. It must have been these criminals. Just a moment ago, she had been fiercely glaring at them while thinking _because of these idiots, my business for the day is pretty much ruined!_

"O-Ohhh! We did it, guys! We managed to get our feelings across!"

"Who needs foreign languages! That's the power of an international organization, we can communicate just fine without a translator!"

"Do you think those guys really got her to understand what we want her to do?" said one of the Japanese mobsters. "Maybe we should've talked with her..."

"Idiot, do you know who that is? That's the owner of the Onodera confectionery! You felt her killing intent, didn't you!? You'd be murdered if you tried talking to a bigshot like her!"

"Y-You're right...I guess it was a good idea after all...I mean, there's no way she'd kill a foreigner for not knowing the language, right?"

_Really...I just can't seem to get home today..._thought Nanako, sighing again. The meeting with the supplier had gone on for too long too. They had insisted on having her try samples of some new products and she'd been dumped with bags and bags of confectioneries to take home. Holding the envelope of demands in one hand and the bags of confectioneries in the other, Onodera Nanako made her way over to the Bonyari police force.

"Hmm...? Wait a minute, isn't that..."

Yamada tapped his chin as one of the criminals made their way over to the front lines. She looked familiar...perhaps she was a bigshot from a famous organization?

"Negotiations, huh...?" said Tachibana's father, stepping forward. "I'll take this one."

The meeting of Onodera Nanako and Tachibana Marika's father.

_A woman? Damn cowards...trying to lower our guard,_ thought Tachibana's father. _But she's still a criminal...there's no mistaking that murderous aura._

_Damn those bastards...giving me so many samples, _thought Onodera Nanako, her fingers sore from hauling these bags all day.

"Whaddya want, you damn criminal?" said Tachibana's father, glaring down at her.

"Haah? What did you just say to me?" said Onodera Nanako, her irritation tripling in intensity. "Is that really how the police greet people nowadays? And to think I had respect for people like you..."

"Ya got a big mouth for a no-good scoundrel, woman. I'll say it straight so that there ain't any misunderstandings from the beginning. We dun negotiate with criminals."

"Well, isn't that perfect for you, because I'm a civilian!"

"Hah? Look at this criminal, spouting nonsense from her mouth. Ya think cause ya a woman you can fool me? I've never seen anyone who's looked so itching to try and rob a grocery store."

"You must have rocks for eyeballs, you damn idiot. I'm in charge of a traditional sweets store, not some fucking two-bit heist operation."

"What did you just call me, ya bitch!"

"I don't understand a thing you're saying, you shitty cop!"

As the air between the two adults charged with electricity-

"Alright, alright. Knock it off, you two," said Yamada, strolling up. "This isn't the time to be sizing each other up."

"Who the hell are you? You look like a punk that's just got off his mother's tit."

"Shut ya mouth, ya brat. Dun get involved in an adult's fight."

"I said cut it out already. Onodera! Tachibana!" yelled Yamada.

The two adults had opened their mouths to retort back when Yamada's words finished processing in their heads.

"Onodera...?"

"Tachibana...?"

"That's your name, right?" said Yamada. "I remembered just now because you said traditional sweets store...you're Onodera Kosaki's mother, aren't you?"

"Onodera Kosaki? Then...she's the owner of the Onodera confectionery?"

"Tachibana...if I remember correctly, that's Kosaki's classmate...?"

The two adults looked at each other blankly for a second.

"Ahaha, oh my! How could I not recognize you, I'm so sorry!" said Nanako, smiling brightly. "Ahahaha, the Bonyari police chief. How silly of me to confuse you with some _other_ shitty cop."

"Hahaha, no, no. I'm at fault too. I sometimes speak a little too roughly when I'm on the job...but that's no excuse for doing so in front of the mother of one of Mari's friends."

"Ahahaha."

"Hahaha."

_He wouldn't arrest me, right...?_

_This woman wouldn't tell Mari, would she...?_

The two adults continued laughing energetically.

"Well, if we've got that all settled..." said Yamada with a wry smile. "Let's get to business then. I think you have something for us, Mamadera."

"Excuse me?" said Nanako, her smile turning frigid.

"...I meant Onodera-san."

"Well, I do have something. But it's just a letter of demands, I think," said Nanako.

"Tell us their demands then. Since we're supposed to look like we're negotiating, we might as well do it properly," said Yamada.

"What a pain..." said Nanako, dropping her bags on the ground. "But I guess there's no helping it. Let's see here..."

Nanako tore the envelope open and took out the folded paper inside.

"Oh...it's in Japanese. Why didn't those idiots just write down what they were saying then...?" said Nanako. She cleared her throat and skimmed the pleasantries. "Alright so...'Our current proposal is singular in demand. We offer to leave your city peacefully and refrain from any more conflict in exchange for the legendary porno, 'Netorare Neko-chan!'. If our demands are not met, then we will lay waste to this entire city. Please seriously consider our offer.'"

Nanako finished reading the letter and let her hands drop back to her side. She looked over at Tachibana's father. Tachibana's father looked back at her.

"I see, so that's how they want to play," said Yamada, nodding. "In that case, let's make a counter-offer-"

"Hold on a second," said Nanako, rubbing her forehead with her fingers and taking a deep breath. "...Are you guys serious?"

"Huh? What? You sound like you have a problem with this," said Yamada, raising an eyebrow.

Suddenly, chilling wisps of black washed over Yamada's skin.

"Ya bastard...are ya telling me that this entire city is being put at risk for a goddamn obscene piece of trash?" said Tachibana's father, looming over Yamada.

"You've scared off my business for the day for a fucking porno?" said Nanako, looming on his other side.

"What's your guys' problem? Didn't I tell you that we were retrieving something important?" said Yamada, eying them exasperatedly. "Look, this isn't just some regular porno. You heard the letter. It's a legendary one. One-of-a-kind. Thought to have never existed. This is a porno that can take control of the world-"

"You bastard, WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR BLOOD!?" roared the two adults, jumping at Yamada.

"Holy shit, I think that scary lady just turned the Bonyari police chief against the Black Suits!" said one of the mobsters, watching the scene with a pair of binoculars.

"Goddamn! I knew we were making the right choice. What a pro."

"Ah, now that guy's begging for his life. I think the negotiations are going well."

"Oh, she's coming back. Great, she looks happy! It must be good news."

"Maaan, it felt so good beating up that idiot," said Nanako, swinging her bags happily. "Ah, also. Your offer was rejected."

"Huh!?"

"Wait a minute, didn't you turn the Bonyari police force against them!?"

"Weren't you going to negotiate free katsudon at the station too!?"

"Huh? No, of course not. My daughter is friends with the police chief's daughter. There's no way I can request something like that."

"WHAT!?"

"A mole!? Is she a mole!?"

"Or a rat...she must be a rat!"

Killing intent began to exude out of the crowd of criminals.

"Now, now. It looks like negotiations failed. That's a shame for you guys," said Nanako, rummaging around in her bags. "But...you guys are good kids, right? You don't just give up at the first signs of defeat, right?"

"W-Well...yeah..."

"W-Who said anything about giving up?"

"If negotiations failed then we just have to keep our end of the deal! And that means destroying this whole town!"

"Right, right. Good kids always keep their promises," said Nanako, nodding. "But you guys can't expect to fight in your state, right? I mean, you've spent all day chasing after this porno, so you guys must be hungry and tired."

"Come to think of it..."

"I _was_ expecting to get katsudon..."

"Darn it, now you guys reminded me of my empty stomach...and that airplane food was terrible!"

An evil grin appeared on Nanako's face.

"Well then...I've got the perfect solution for all of your problems!"

Nanako's hand whipped out an enormous ichigo daifuku from her bag.

"Take a look! I have emergency rations!"

"O-Ohhh! Is that the famous mochi I've heard about!?"

"Look at that juicy strawberry poking out of the top! Such a deep red, it's a strawberry whose sweetness has fully developed with age!"

_Groowwll~_

The sound of hungry stomachs rumbling.

"That's no good! An empty stomach will mean you have no energy," said Nanako, wagging a finger at them. "Here, take this daifuku! The refreshing flavor will wake you up and its said that mochi will reenergize your body and increase your physical strength! It's rich in calories but low-fat, so you'll get plenty of steam with just one daifuku! W-Wait, what did you say? It can't possibly be that convenient? It has to be a trick? No, there is no trick here, customers! In fact, today, I will give you a special service. This miracle sweet can be had for only 1000 yen a piece!"

"O-One thousand yen a piece!? Just a single paper bill!? Japan is cheap! Too cheap!"

"That's amazing! The power of Japanese sweets is amazing! I'll take one!"

"I'll take one too!"

One thousand yen bills were being flagged into the air as Onodera Nanako began handing out the confectionery samples.

"Yes, thank you for your business! Please try some! Yes, yes, thank you for your business!" said Nanako, collecting bills by the handful.

"Hey...do ichigo daifukus really cost that much now...?"

"I don't know...it's been a while since I had it cause...you know. It's not really manly..."

"...Well. All the stores are closed because of the police alerts...I guess we can't really eat anything else."

And so, the Onodera confectionery continued its business that day.

"Alright, that should keep them occupied for a bit," said Yamada, stretching his neck.

"Stalling for time while also giving the Onodera woman a chance to reclaim her business for today...you're a formidable one," said Tachibana's father, directing a small smile at Yamada.

"Yeah, I guess so," said Yamada, tapping a number on his cellphone. _If I hadn't done that, you both would've killed me..._

The phone rang a few times then connected.

"They're here? Yeah, let them through. We've got things settled right now, so this is the best time."

Yamada hung up the phone and motioned to Tachibana's father.

"Your daughter's here. I'm going to go debrief them and get them somewhere safe. Do you want to...?"

"No. I have to oversee my men here," said Tachibana's father, turning away. "...I'll leave it up to you to make sure Mari and her friends are safe."

"Heh. Got it," said Yamada, walking off. As much as Tachibana's father wanted to meet with his daughter, his duty as police chief came first. Being a doting parent in this situation would only serve as a distraction.

Tachibana's father took a moment to compose himself.

"Alright, men! Let's fortify our defenses!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the police van was being directed into the back of the shrine.

"Welcome. Nice to see you guys made it here safely," said Yamada as Raku and the others arrived.

"Hello. You are...?" said Raku, although the black suit he was wearing gave it away.

"Don't worry about me. I'm sure you want to go check on your friends," said Yamada. He pointed back at the foliage around the shrine. "This is the rear section of the shrine. If you go through that path there, it'll cut into the stairs to the front entrance. Your friends are up there. I'll get a guy to lead you up."

"Thank you," said Raku, climbing out of the van.

"Kosaki-chan and Ruri-chan are up there?" said Chitoge, being helped out by Tsugumi.

"That's right," said Yamada. "We've been stalling the hunters and none of our guys have reported anything wrong up in the shrine. So they're probably in search of 'Netorare Neko-chan!' right now. If you want, it might be safer to wait here for them to finish retrieving the DVD-"

"No, we're going up," said Chitoge. "No offense, but I want to make sure that Kosaki-chan and Ruri-chan are ok."

"Well, that's understandable. But you can't have everyone go up with you. Something unexpected could happen and the guys we have up there can't cover for more than a few people."

"Raku. We'll stay behind."

"Shu? Are you sure...?" said Raku, a bit worried about leaving his classmates in the hands of complete strangers. Even if they didn't seem like they had bad intentions this time around, it was still a fact that this group had caused complete mayhem in the school two weeks ago.

"Yeah. The guy is right, we can't manage with everyone going up. I'm pretty sure we'll be better off down here," said Shu. Behind him, some of the Black Suits and Shu's team seemed to be having a conversation.

"Ahh! You guys! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, if it isn't the newest member of the Haru fanclub, Satou! Fancy meeting you here. Were you after 'Netorare Neko-chan!' too?"

"Yeah, at least, my group was. Not that I'm betraying Haru-chan or anything. Of course, my loyalty is unwavering!"

"That's good to hear. The Valencia Orange is surely grateful for your devotion."

Raku pointed at the scene, his mouth struggling to find the right words.

"...You guys know each other?"

"Kind of," said Shu, clapping his hand on Raku's shoulder. "You could say we have common interests."

"Shu..."

"Anyways, so you can rest easy Raku. We'll be fine. But Onodera's up there," said Shu, grinning at him. "You can't keep a lady waiting."

"But Shu, didn't you and your guys come all this way for the DV-"

Raku stumbled forward as Shu gave him a push from the back. He turned around, confused, only to see that good-natured cat-faced smile again.

"That kind of thing doesn't matter right now. We'll do what we can here, but right now, you have to go up," said Shu. "Come on, Raku~! You know me, don't you? I know when enough is enough. It's just reckless to risk the well-being of our classmates for a single porno~."

"Then you'd risk it for more than one...?" said Raku, smiling back.

"Well..." said Shu, his glasses glinting. Raku couldn't help but laugh.

"Ok. Then I'll leave it up to you. Make sure everyone gets out of here safely," said Raku, starting off. "Including you!"

"Don't worry about that~" said Shu, waving at him. "I'm not someone that looks for trouble after all~!"

Raku waved back without turning around, soon far enough so that he could no longer hear Shu anymore. Shu's hand dropped back to his side and the cat-faced smile wavered slightly.

"Are you sure about this? Maiko-senpai..."

With Raku now gone, Girl A had separated from the rest of the group. She voiced her question as she approached Shu tentatively.

"Hmm? Now what do you mean by that?" said Shu, looking casually off to the distance. "Of course I'm fine with it. As I said, I'm not one to go looking for trouble. Besides, it's just a porno. I'd really much rather spend my time with beautiful girls like you~!"

"But...you never came here for the porno, did you...?" said Girl A. For a moment, Shu's lips parted slightly in reaction, but then resumed his easygoing smile.

"...Why would you say that?"

"Because...I've always watched you, Maiko-senpai. Even though you're mischievous and sneaky sometimes, you're always determined. And definitely reckless. If you have something in mind, you always go after it with as much as you can."

"Netorare Neko-chan!". A legendary porno. But that was not Maiko Shu had been after. If it had been, then Maiko Shu would have not given up so easily, even for his best friend, Ichijou Raku.

Even though from the outside, it always looked like Maiko Shu gave way to his best friend, the truth was that Shu always tried his best. Always tried to beat Raku when it counted. It was because they were friends that he had to do so. It was because he respected Raku that he did so.

That was why Maiko Shu would never have given up like this, especially when his teammates had been counting on him.

Unless there was a more important reason to do so. Unless giving up was the best choice right now.

"You always try to help Ichijou-senpai...it's one of the reasons I really like you. Because you really care about your friends. That's why you brought him in...this whole time, you were planning on involving Ichijou-senpai..."

Shu didn't respond. He merely continued staring absentmindedly into space. The sun was starting to set and orange day was bleeding into inky night.

"So maybe...this whole time, you were trying to help Ichijou-senpai again...somehow. But I don't think that was the end of it. I think...maybe it wasn't your goal, but you still had something else in mind."

A hope. A small wish.

Just a glimmer of expectations.

"Maiko-senpai...was it for that person that you liked...?"

His expression faltered. For a split-second, Maiko Shu's facade vanished completely. He looked back at Girl A, the expression on his face causing her heart to squeeze, squeeze so tightly that she wanted to cry.

Then he was smiling again. An understanding, mature smile.

"You came here for some closure too...I'm sorry I couldn't help."

"No...I mean. Yes...that's what I wanted but..."

Like Maiko, Girl A looked up with a strong, beaming smile.

"We're still just high school students. It's ok...to linger...isn't it?"

But try as she might, she couldn't hold it. Couldn't hold back the feelings she felt, for herself, for Shu. The bittersweet mixture that was pulling her heart back and forth.

Shu patted her on the head. His hand, strong and smooth against her silky hair-

"We're too young to have these kind of expressions, I guess," said Shu. "It's difficult...really too difficult."

Girl A rested her head on Shu's chest and nodded. She tried to hold back her tears, but they flowed anyway. She nodded and nodded, her hands grabbing onto his shirt desperately.

"Huh? Is that Maiko over there? What's he doing?"

"Looks like she fell and hurt herself. He's comforting her right now."

"Khhh! Damn bastard. Seriously, what happened! When did he get so far ahead? Which god's ass did he kiss to get so much luck!"

"Who knows..." said Boy A, turning from the scene.

"Hm? Do you have allergies or something? Your eyes are kind of red."

"Oh, really? Thanks for telling me...I guess it's acting up again..." said Boy A, rubbing his eyes. "Anyways, we have more important things to look at!"

"Damn straight! That Black Suit has never-before-seen candid photos of Haru-tan! I think Maiko has some serious competition."

"No..." said Boy A, blinking until his vision stopped blurring. "I don't think they're even on the same playing field."

* * *

Raku went back to the police van to meet with everyone.

"Chitoge. Are you going to come too?"

"Of course! Like I could just sit here and wait," said Chitoge, standing up.

"And I guess I shouldn't ask..." said Raku, looking at Tsugumi. She was already standing at Chitoge's side. "Then that leaves..."

Everyone looked over at Marika.

"Oh my. Of course, I'm going too~" said Marika.

"...Sorry, Tachibana. But I think it might be best if you stay behind..." said Raku. He could see that her face was a little pale. Gathering everyone up and rushing down here must have put a lot of strain on her.

"I refuse~. I shall be accompanying you, Raku-sama."

"I appreciate it, Tachibana, but I really don't think you should-"

"I will have Honda coming with me, so there is no reason for you to worry," said Marika. Right on cue, Honda exited from the driver's seat in the police van.

"Even so..."

"I'm sorry, Raku-sama, but that's the end of the matter," said Marika, walking up and grabbing Raku's arm. "I would much rather spend my time with you than down here with my father's men. In any case..."

She tilted her head slightly down, her bangs covering the expression on her face.

"I suppose if we are seeing Onodera-san on the way, it can't be helped."

Chitoge was about to go pull Marika off Raku's arm, her eye twitching with irritation, but she stopped as she heard Marika's almost whispered words.

"...Jeez," said Chitoge, sighing exasperatedly. "...You really can't be honest."

"Oh my. I can't believe I'm hearing that from you, Kirisaki-san," said Marika, clutching hard to Raku. "Raku-sama, they say that people who call the kettle black are more likely to be unfaithful in a relationship~"

"Why you...!"

"Ok, Tachibana," said Raku, relenting. "But tell us immediately if you're not feeling well. Don't try and bear through it. In the worst-case, we might not be able to get you any help if we delay it too long."

"I understand."

"Alright then," said Raku, stepping towards the foliage. "Let's get going."

* * *

"This way, please."

A Black Suit led the way through the dense brush. They had been walking for about twenty minutes. Although the shrine was not that far away, the rear path curved and winded, with plenty of criss-crossing branches serving as obstacles. Tsugumi and Honda helped clear the way with swift cuts from their knives.

"But really...today's been a long day," said Chitoge as they trudged through dry leaves and dirt. She had tied her hair up into a bun so that it wouldn't get caught by the branches, but there were still scraps of leaves on her golden head.

"Indeed. To think that a single DVD has made a mess out of the whole town..."

"Hold on a second, isn't it partially your guys' fault that this whole thing got so out of proportion?" said Raku, having heard the entire story in the police van. "What were you guys thinking...getting into a scavenger hunt with a bunch of criminals?"

"Well...I mean, that Coccinella guy...plus it sounded fun and we didn't expect any of this to happen," said Chitoge, pouting.

"I guess you're right about that..." said Raku. No one could have possibly predicted how things had gone today. In fact, this kind of craziness was probably going to put them all at the center of attention again tomorrow at school.

"Ah..."

"Hm? What's wrong, Chitoge?"

"...I didn't do my homework."

"..."

If Chitoge hadn't, that meant Tsugumi hadn't. And Marika...well, it would be a good assumption to say she hadn't.

And of course, Raku hadn't been able to either.

"...I'll ask Yui-nee if she'll give us a break."

She'd be lenient, right? She'd understand, right?

"Heh...hehe..."

"...? What's with that creepy giggling, beansprout...?"

"Because..." said Raku, struggling to hold back his laughter. "We're talking about homework...at a time like this..."

"Woow...it doesn't take much to set you off, huh?" said Chitoge although she also couldn't resist smiling a little.

"Onodera...probably didn't get to do her homework either, huh?" said Raku, taking a couple of breaths to calm himself down.

"Stop it...you're going to...make me laugh too..." said Chitoge, covering her mouth. Tsugumi was merely looking on with a bemused expression while Marika's face was similar to that of a complying mother.

_What am I doing?_ thought Raku as he and Chitoge chuckled lightly. Maybe it was because they were nearing the end. Because after all the worry and fretting, they were just an arm's reach away from Kosaki and Ruri now. Considering that much worse things could have happened by this point...was it something like relief? He didn't know, but the laughter kept leaking out.

"Over here, please. We are coming onto the stairs now."

"Finally!" said Chitoge, bounding out onto the stairs. She stretched her stiff limbs, having had to crouch a bit to get past all of the branches.

"How far are we from the shrine?" said Raku as he helped Marika, who was holding her cheek in an exaggerated fashion, out of the brush.

"It shouldn't be very far from here. In fact, you might be able to see the top..."

"Ah, I think I see it," said Chitoge, a hand held up to her forehead to hold back her bangs. "Mmm...but it's a little dark. I can't really make out anything..."

"Dark? We should have a little light left though..." said Raku, peering up at the top. "Yeah...I can see the light. So what's with that dark spot over the-"

They realized it at the same time. Chitoge and Raku's eyes met for a split-second, then they were dashing up the steps.

"Ojou!"

"Raku-sama!"

But Chitoge and Raku didn't look back. Because what they had just seen...what they had just realized was happening at the top of the shrine-

"Kosaki-chan! Ruri-chan!" cried Chitoge as they reached the top.

"No...Onodera..." said Raku, his arm held out to block the intense heat was billowing towards them. "ONODERA! MIYAMOTO!"

Fire. A scorching blaze that was spitting black smoke into the sky.

The shrine had been set on fire.


	43. HSKC 16 -The Conclusions of Ichijou Raku

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)**

**The Conclusions of Ichijou Raku**

_Part Sixteen  
_

* * *

The air before him shimmered with heat. Sparks were flying as wood crackled and the flames spread, chewing through the grass, clawing their way up trees. Even the water purification well was burning, the blackened wood dropping into the bubbling water, steam and clouds of ash spraying out into a fine mist.

"What's going on...?" said Raku. This was the shrine, right? The one where "Netorare Neko-chan!" was supposed to be.

So why...was it on fire?

"Kosaki-chan! Ruri-chan!" called out Chitoge.

"Chitoge-chan!"

Miyamoto Ruri was standing near the main entrance.

"Ruri-chan!" said Chitoge, relieved that Ruri didn't seem harmed by the fire.

"Chitoge-chan, don't come here!"

"Huh?"

"I'll ask you one more time. Bring out Onodera Kosaki or I'll burn your shrine down!"

A loud shout from where Ruri was standing. Chitoge narrowed her eyes, trying to see through the smoke and haze.

The little girl. The leader of the Black Suits.

She was shouting at the entrance for some reason. Was she talking to someone there?

"Ruri-chan, are you ok?" said Chitoge. "Where's Kosaki-chan?"

Ruri didn't reply. Her eyes closed tightly behind her smudged glasses, her messy hair splayed out across her wet face.

"Ruri-chan...?" said Chitoge, stepping closer. "Ruri-chan, what..."

"Tch!"

The labcoat girl slammed a burning stick at the ground, scattering sparks everywhere.

"H-Hey! What are you doing!" said Raku, running over and stamping the stick out. "Are you the one that started this fire?"

"Ah. If it isn't Ichijou Raku," said the labcoat girl, sneering at him. "Well, well! You made it just in time, didn't you!?"

"What?" said Raku, taken aback by the girl's fierce tone.

"And Kirisaki Chitoge too. Tsugumi Seishirou and Tachibana Marika. The entire team's here!" said the labcoat girl, laughing bitterly. "But you're too late...too damn late..."

"What are you talking about?" said Raku, feeling a sharp sense of dread. "What happened here?"

"Ichijou-kun..."

Ruri approached Raku with small steps, as if heavy chains were attached to her legs. Tears fell from her eyes, clinging and dripping from her glasses.

"Kosaki...Ichijou-kun, please..."

"Onodera...?" said Raku, his eyes widening. "Miyamoto, where's Onodera?"

"I don't know...what to do..." Miyamoto Ruri. Someone who rarely showed any emotion. The girl that had always spoke to Raku with a sense of distance, the girl that had always seemed to hold a sense of maturity-

She was crying in front of Raku, weakly, hopelessly. This sight, something that Raku had never seen before, frightened him more than anything else. It made his heart shiver, forced his mind into a state of racing panic.

"Miyamoto...Miyamoto!" said Raku, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Where's Onodera? What happened to her!?"

"Khh! It hurts..." said Ruri, her words strangled by her sobs. Raku tore his hands away from her, as if he had been burned.

"S-Sorry...Miyamoto," said Raku. "I'm sorry..."

"Ruri-chan! Raku!"

Chitoge came over with Tsugumi and Marika.

"What's going on? Where's Kosaki-chan?" said Chitoge. Again, Ruri couldn't say anything. She didn't know how to tell them.

"Your friend, Onodera Kosaki, is about to disappear," said the labcoat girl solemnly.

"Disappear? What are you talking about?" said Chitoge, her eyes hardening. "What are you planning? What did you do to Kosaki-chan!?"

"Chitoge-chan...she didn't do anything," said Ruri. "Kosaki...she..."

"Kirisaki Chitoge. Ichijou Raku. And the rest of you," said the labcoat girl, her eyes downcast. "You need to listen carefully."

The soft roar of the fire continued in the background. The whole story was told in turns by the labcoat girl and Miyamoto Ruri. The history behind "Netorare Neko-chan!". The offer that had been made by the priestess. The decision that Onodera Kosaki had made.

And now, the impossible situation they were in.

Onodera Kosaki had willingly let herself be sealed inside this shrine. Willingly walked into a deal that would dissolve her current life and create a new one.

One where the Onodera Kosaki of now did not exist. One where the relationships of Onodera Kosaki and her friends did not exist.

As they finished their recounting, the air was still. No one could find the right words to say. Only taut faces of disbelief; that was all that they could muster to the situation at hand.

"Y...You're joking, right?"

Chitoge spoke first. A wobbly smile appeared on her face as she glanced over at the main entrance. "There's no way..."

She walked to the entrance, slowly, hesitantly, as if dragging herself to an inescapable outcome. And she stopped in front of the entrance, her eyes grazing across the ground, where little tails of flames had stopped, cut off, unable to cross the barrier.

"No way..." said Chitoge, putting her hand out. Her palm flattened against thin air, the invisible wall still as spotless and solid as ever. "No way...no..."

Bang. Two bangs. Three bangs. Chitoge's fist beat uselessly against the wall.

"Kosaki-chan's...inside here? No way...there's no way. Why would she..? No, she can't be in here. Kosaki-chan! Kosaki-chan!"

Pounding. Chitoge started pounding against the wall. She punched it, kicked at it, threw her body against it. But she could make no dent.

"Red strings of fate? Making our loves come true? What is that...What is that? That's not something you can decide on your own, Kosaki-chan!" shouted Chitoge, flailing against the wall. "Didn't we promise...we said...we'd support each others' love. This is cheating...this is unfair...you're the only one that's keeping your promise...!"

Tsugumi pointed her pistols at the barrier. Taking care not to hit Chitoge, she fired, the rapid-fire reports slashing through the silence one at a time. The bullets ricocheted from the wall, bouncing harmlessly into the burning grass.

A hand firmly grasped Tsugumi's wrist. But Tsugumi's finger continued to pull the trigger, the gun clicking uselessly as it spent the last of its ammunition.

"It's useless..." said the labcoat girl, lowering Tsugumi's pistol. "That wall...can't be broken."

"Then we have to go around!" said Chitoge, jumping onto her feet. "There has to be a way inside-"

"We searched the whole place. There's no gap in the wall..." said Ruri, the words lingering bitterly in her mouth.

"Then from above! If we just jump from the trees-"

"It's covered-"

"Then from below-"

"Don't you think we tried that!?" shouted the labcoat girl. "We tried it all! We've gone through this shrine with a fine comb! We blasted it, we cut it, we tackled it, we went around it, we dug below it, we blasted everything around it, but nothing! There's no goddamn way in there!"

"Don't say that! That's not true!" said Chitoge, her voice starting to crack. "There has to be a way...there has to be! We can't...we can't just...we can't let Kosaki-chan do this!"

"When we first met, I knew that 'plot armor' of yours was unbeatable. That's why I couldn't win, even though I've gathered so much strength," said the labcoat girl, laughing in a mocking tone. "So I know. I know that there's no way to break through. Because this is Onodera Kosaki's 'plot armor.' This is her direction and we can't stop it. The world can't stop it."

A hint of hysteria entered her tone. "Don't you get it, Kirisaki Chitoge? It's here, it's here! The plot we were all waiting for! The end of the series! Finally, finally, finally, finally, finally! It's a happy ending too! It's an ending where everyone got what they wanted and the most boring character gets tossed aside! Really, really, really this is the prime ending! This is the best path we could've taken, the real TRUE ROUTE!"

A ringing smack. The labcoat girl stumbled onto the ground, her cheek stinging from the blow.

"What the hell are you talking about!?" said Chitoge, shaking her head. "I don't get it. I don't understand. A happy ending? What's happy about this, how is this any good!? I won't let this happen. I won't let Kosaki-chan go through something like this all alone! I'll find a way! So if you're not going to help, then shut up!"

Chitoge panted. Her body was exhausted, as if every single muscle in her body had tensed to the max. She shook her head again and tried to think. There had to be a way. There had to be some way to get Kosaki out.

"Tsugumi, we're going to look around again! There has to be a weak point somewhere!"

"Yes, Ojou!"

"Marika-"

"I will stay here, in case Onodera-san comes out," said Marika. Honda threw a receiver over to Tsugumi. "We'll contact you if there's any news."

"Thanks," said Chitoge. She turned to Raku, who was still standing next to Ruri. "Raku. Raku!"

Raku's head snapped up, as if he had been in a daze.

"S-Sorry...what did you say?"

"Raku, come with us," said Chitoge, starting off with Tsugumi. "Hurry!"

"R-Right...I'm coming..." said Raku. But his legs felt like lead. His mind was jelly. He couldn't figure out which foot was right. He stepped forward, but tripped and fell to his knees.

"Raku?" said Chitoge, skidding to a halt.

"I...I'm coming. I'll be there..." said Raku, his hands shaking against the ground. "Just...give me a minute..."

Chitoge paused as Raku struggled on the ground. She opened her mouth to say something, but then simply nodded and turned away.

"Ojou, this way! The flames seem to be extending a bit further here-"

The footsteps of the two girls faded away. Marika and Honda helped Raku to his feet.

"Thanks...Tachibana," said Raku. His mouth felt thick and clumsy. His eyes were sore from the heat and ash. He rubbed them with his shirt, trying to clear his vision.

"Raku-sama, are you alright?" asked Marika.

"I'm fine. I'm ok. I need to...help Chitoge and Tsugumi," said Raku. This time, his legs felt more solid. He was able to break into a jog. "I'll be back, Tachibana, Miyamoto!"

He took off after Chitoge and Tsugumi. Marika watched as Raku's figure vanished into the smoke.

"Ojousama. Please, come away from the flames."

Marika responded with a murmur and they moved back towards Ruri. The labcoat girl was being helped up by a few Black Suits.

"As expected of a main character, she really has no control," said the labcoat girl, rubbing her swollen cheek.

"Is there really no way to rescue Onodera-san?" said Marika quietly.

"I don't know," said the labcoat girl, spitting blood onto the ground. "I'm just a side character. There's nothing I can do here."

She turned her head to the side, staring off with a somber expression.

"It's all up to them now."

* * *

It was dark when they returned. The flames had started to dwindle, but the Black Suits had gone back through the brush to keep the fires going for light.

After nearly an hour of fruitless searching, Chitoge's emotions had calmed down. She sat down with the group to try and discuss things more comprehensively.

"So if Kosaki actually used the DVD, then we wouldn't remember any of this?"

"The exact outcome wasn't specified to us in detail," said the labcoat girl, glancing at Ruri for confirmation. "What we do know is that if Onodera Kosaki accepts the deal, you will all have your loves come true. Which, in this case, should mean that you will have red strings of fate tied to the person you are currently in love with, which would be Ichijou Raku."

"Y-Yeah..." said Chitoge. Even under their current situation, it was still embarrassing to have her feelings for Raku spoken of so frankly. Both Chitoge and Tsugumi couldn't help blushing slightly. Of course, Marika was unfazed by the statement.

The labcoat girl continued without giving notice to their reactions. "In exchange for this 'wish', Onodera Kosaki will give away her 'first love.' Which was explained to us as being the feelings, changes, and experiences that stemmed from her having fallen in love with that person."

"Kosaki's first love was the boy that she met eleven years ago," said Ruri, her eyes still red and puffy from earlier. However, her voice was focused now and her usual countenance had been recovered. "We don't have any proof, but it's likely Ichijou-kun, because that boy was the one that gave Kosaki-chan her key."

"And Yui-san said that Kosaki-chan played with me and Raku in the past," said Chitoge. "Plus she also had the storybook. So it has to be Raku..."

"In either case, it likely doesn't matter," said the labcoat girl. "Whatever Onodera Kosaki said, I highly doubt that we could consider the feelings a little girl made after spending a few months with a boy as 'true love.' If it's her 'first love,' then it's more reasonable to look at her love for Ichijou Raku since middle school to now. But whichever 'love' we're talking about, if the both targets are Ichijou Raku, then the only difference here is how many years Onodera Kosaki loses."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Tsugumi.

"If the deal considers Onodera Kosaki's 'first love' to be the one from her childhood, then she will lose her feelings, experiences, and changes from that point onwards. Now, if the target wasn't Ichijou Raku, this wouldn't be a problem. But considering that Ichijou Raku is the prime candidate, that means that it will connect to her current love. An Onodera Kosaki that has lost what could potentially be eleven years of her life will likely be a very different Onodera Kosaki from what we know today."

"But isn't there a chance that Onodera-sama may fall in love with Ichijou Raku again? If that was the case, then would there be any change at all...?"

"That's a nice thought, Tsugumi Seishirou. Yes, that's certainly a possibility. That is likely part of the reason that Onodera Kosaki was willing to make the risk. In the best-case scenario, Onodera Kosaki will fall in love with Ichijou Raku again and there will be no change. But this is where we get into shaky ground..."

If Ichijou Raku had been Onodera Kosaki's childhood love, then there was a small chance that her feelings for Ichijou Raku stemmed from the shadow of those feelings. That is, she fell in love with Ichijou Raku because Ichijou Raku was reminiscent of her childhood love. But, if her first love was considered to be the Ichijou Raku from middle school, only Miyamoto Ruri would have a chance to be immune from effect as she had become friends with Kosaki before that point.

But even then, it was not absolute. There was a chance that Ruri's friendship with Kosaki had deepened mainly because of Raku. That is, they may not have interacted as much if Ruri hadn't been trying to help Kosaki with her feelings.

In the case of Chitoge, Tsugumi, Marika, and all of the others in their group: it was only because Kosaki was in love with Raku that she had met any of them. If she had not been in love with Raku, then she would never have applied to Bonyari High School. Rather, she would have gone to Otori Girl's School.

"Onodera Haru has complete immunity because she is her sister. Miyamoto Ruri has the chance of immunity due to their friendship," said the labcoat girl, counting off on her fingers. "Ichijou Raku and Maiko Shu also have a small chance of immunity as Onodera Kosaki knew them from middle school. However, the rest of you..."

"So there's a chance, but it's not good..." said Chitoge, biting her thumb. "So that means since we still remember Kosaki-chan, she probably hasn't taken the deal yet?"

"The priestess stated that she wanted Onodera Kosaki to think in peace," said the labcoat girl. "Which likely means that Onodera Kosaki has not made her decision yet."

"Wait a minute! Then that means Kosaki-chan might not use the DVD at all!"

"No. She will likely use the DVD," said the labcoat girl. "The fact that she is still inside does not mean that she's having difficulty making her choice. Rather, it means that she's already made her choice, but is having difficulty going through with it."

Ruri smiled a little at this. How ironic. The timid nature that Kosaki had been trying so hard to shed was still her greatest obstacle. And it was the only thing keeping her from disappearing from their lives.

"We can't force our way through the barrier..." mused Chitoge. She crossed her arms as she fell into deep thought. "Maybe if we ask one of the shrine maidens that work here...?"

"Ah."

Marika held a hand up to her mouth as a thought struck her.

"If I remember correctly, did we not meet the sister of this priestess in Kyoto recently...?" said Marika.

"Ahhh! You're right!" said Chitoge, the memory flashing in her mind.

"A sister?" said the labcoat girl, perking up.

"Yeah! She gave us arrows with a marriage charm on them an-"

Chitoge stopped as she recalled the memory.

"And then?"

"N-Nothing..." said Chitoge, coughing a few times. "Anyways, she's also a priestess! If we could contact her, then maybe she could help us."

"The temple in Kyoto..." said Ruri, thinking back. "I believe it was called Awayadaisanji-"

"That's good enough," said the labcoat girl, grinning with renewed vigor. "We have members present in the Kyoto area. It's late, but we may be able to find this sister priestess."

"Alright! We can still stop Kosaki-chan then..." said Chitoge, her eyes glimmering as hope filled her heart again. "Raku! Raku, did you hear-"

Her voice faltered as she realized that Raku was still standing there. Over at the barrier.

"Raku..."

Ever since they had returned, Raku had been standing at the barrier. Even though the flames there had long been extinguished and nothing could be seen past the gate...

Chitoge wanted to go up and talk to him. Tell him that they could still save Kosaki. Hold his hand to give him strength and wait for that clumsy smile to appear on his face again.

But she couldn't. Because she knew exactly what he was feeling right now. Even though they now had hope...even though there was now a chance to save Kosaki-

It wasn't enough to completely shake the dread in Chitoge's heart. Because Kosaki was still inside. And that meant that any moment, Kosaki could still choose to use the DVD. Whether or not she did so before they could contact the priestess' sister was a matter of chance.

Until then, there was still nothing that they could do. Still nothing that they could change.

Ichijou Raku had heard their plan. Like Chitoge, he also felt his heart warm a bit from the news. He wanted to turn around right now and go help.

But there was no way for him to help. Like the others, all he would be able to do was wait until the little girl had contacted her members in Kyoto and started the search.

_Onodera..._

Raku pressed his head against the barrier. It was like touching hard air. There was no sensation that he could identify; the wall wasn't cool or warm. It wasn't rough or textured at all. It was just a force, as if his body would not move any further.

How could you break through something like this? The answer was: you couldn't. So then how could you get someone out of here? The answer was: you couldn't.

Raku had been racking his brains this entire time. Trying to figure out a way to rescue Kosaki.

What had they said? That their connection to Kosaki would be gone. That she would disappear from their lives.

He couldn't accept that. He didn't want that. After all, he was in love with her! No...not just that. Kosaki was special to him. Not just because he loved her. But because she was his friend. Because they had spent so much time together. Because they had grown closer and relied on each other.

_But even then...even after all that...I can't help her,_ thought Raku, his expression twisting. _When she needs my help the most, I can't..._

That was the point.

That was the reason that Ichijou Raku had been standing here all this time.

Because even if there was a way to help her-

Even if they could save Kosaki from this-

...

...

Was that the right thing?

"Oh now, look at that. The shithead is starting to make sense."

Standing behind him, in a casual stance with his hands inside his pockets, there was Ichijou Raku.

"Onodera Kosaki, the cutest and kindest girl in the world. There's nobody that's as sweet and pure as she is. She's the kind of person that can warm you up just from being in the same vicinity as her. It's something like 'you'd be the luckiest man alive' if she had feelings for you, right?"

Raku strolled along aimlessly behind Raku.

"But even though that's true, this shithead never answered her feelings. Even though he says he loves her. What do you think about that?"

"...That's their fault, isn't it?"

A third Raku. This time, hiding slightly behind one of the trees.

"I-I mean...it's cause Chitoge and the others said they love him too. W-What's with that, huh? Why's he popular all of a sudden? I-I mean...why are they all picking him? They all deserve better than him...it's bothersome. They should just go pick some other guys! Y-Yeah...it's not our fault at all. I-It's not like you can expect us to return Onodera's feelings when they just arbitrarily shoved their feelings in our way like that."

"Yeah, sounds right. Hearing confessions from other girls is a good excuse. There's no way he wouldn't be affected by something like that, right? I mean, it's really significant, it's the kind of thing that'll make you completely reconsider your feelings, yeah?"

"Your sarcasm is commendable. But he is making valid points."

A fourth Raku, this one wearing glasses that he was pushing back up with a finger.

"Let us look at this logically. Onodera Kosaki is certainly a girl of high specifications. In terms of feminine charm and physical beauty, she stands out even against the likes of Kirisaki Chitoge and Tachibana Marika. With a gentle personality and beautiful grace in her actions, perhaps her only match would be Kanakura Yui. However, Kanakura Yui is an older woman and we must consider the fact that her position until recently has always been as an elder sister figu-"

"Hey. Glasses. Shut the fuck up! Whether or not Onodera Kosaki is the best girl isn't the goddamn problem now, is it!?"

"Now, now. He was just expressing his opinion on the matter."

A fifth Raku appeared, wearing white clothes.

"But you're right. The problem right now is that Onodera Kosaki is inside the shrine. We should all work together and help Ichijou Raku figure out a solution to this problem-"

"Well, isn't this great. The whole gang's here now," said Raku with a mocking smile. "A meeting of useless guys is a pretty ugly sight, if you ask me..."

"L-Look who's talking...I didn't even want to be here. I-It must be your guys' doing! Yeah, you guys are the ones that brought me into this mess! Take responsibility!"

"Incorrect. It is not possible for any of us to be brought here of our own accord. We are only present due to the inner turmoil of Ichijou Raku and are acting as vehicles for his subconscious proce-"

"Now, now. Let's not argue about this. In a sense, we're all like brothers. We shouldn't be working against each other, right? Ok now, let's all hold hands and focus on what the problem is-"

"We all know what the problem is, you moron," said Raku with a taunting snort. "It's that this guy fucked up, isn't it? What else is the problem here, huh?"

"Inaccurate. We are still in the process of choosing a specific problem to address. There is still the problem of Onodera Kosaki being stuck inside the shrine-"

"And whose fault do you think that is? Come on, come on. Raise your hands if you know. Whose fucking fault is it that we're in this goddamn mess in the first place, huh?"

Raku paced around in the center of the group with his hand held high.

"Was it Miyamoto's fault for dragging Onodera into this whole porno hunt? Huh? Was it Chitoge's fault for letting Onodera get kidnapped? Huh? Come on, come on! Answer me, you fuckfaces! Who's fucking fault is it in that we're in this mess, huh!?"

Raku rolled his head and looked at Raku.

"Hey, Raku. Look over here. Come on."

Raku turned slowly away from the barrier. He didn't look at Raku, but at the ground instead.

"Hey Raku," said Raku, slapping him on the cheek lightly. "Whose fault is it, huh? It must be Tachibana's fault, right? She's the one tricked who Tsugumi and Chitoge. No, not her? What about Shu? If he hadn't called you, you wouldn't even be here, right?"

Raku continued slapping him after every sentence.

"Hey, come on. Who is it? Oh, I know. It must be Haru-chan!" said Raku, slapping him a bit harder. "It's Haru-chan's fault. She confessed to you, right? But this whole time, she was setting you up on dates with Onodera. She was supporting you, but she actually liked you? Isn't that weird? That's confusing, right? It's all her fault, isn't it? Well?"

His slaps turned into a vicious hook that sprayed blood onto the ground.

"I asked you whose fucking fault is it, you bastard!" shouted Raku.

"Stop it!" said Raku, running in front of Raku. "Aren't you being too hard on him? Resorting to physical violence..."

"What?" said Raku, pushing back Raku with a derisive laugh. "Who the hell do you think you are? Talking like this doesn't concern you..."

He walked over and pulled Raku up to his feet. Blood was slowly dripping from his nose down to his chin.

"You see this sorry sack of shit? This is Ichijou Raku. Seventeen. Second-year student at Bonyari High School."

He shook Raku by the collar of his shirt.

"This guy here-"

He enunciated each word clearly and slowly, as if talking to a child.

"Has been _in love_ with-" His mouth formed a surprised "Oh!". "Onodera Kosaki since middle school! That's three years. Three whole years!"

"You know..." said Raku, brushing dust off Raku's shoulder and smoothing down his shirt. "This guy's really lucky. Average brains, looks like a beansprout, and he's heir to a scary yakuza family. I mean, if you really think about it, he must've thrown a '2' dice when he got reincarnated."

"And then there's this girl that he's always going 'Oh, she's so cute!' about. Thinking about her, dreaming about her, even when he's got girls hanging off both arms. And guess what! That girl, that girl that he's been in love with, that cute cute girl, she likes him back! She said she's in love with him! If that's not a lucky guy, then fuck this world, right?"

"And what does he do?" said Raku, nodding with his lips pursed, as if the outcome was not so bad. "He swept her off her feet and gave her a big kiss and they lived happily ever after, right?"

Raku spit at the ground, his lips curled in disgust.

"Nah, he **abandoned** her. When she finally reached out to him with her feelings, he just left them hanging there."

Standing still. Stock still. It was as if they had been in a relay race and he had been handed the baton. But instead of accepting and running to victory, he had dropped it on the ground.

And left it there. Waiting. Contemplating. Ignoring it.

Thinking, _should I really take this baton?_

"But yeah, that's Ichijou Raku, isn't it?" said Raku, putting his hands back in his pocket and stepping back. "The kind guy. The guy that's always trying to make sure no one gets hurt. The guy that puts others' happiness before his own."

"S-So? W-What's wrong with that...we're not troubling anyone. I mean, they're all getting the better end of the deal, they can't complain...we're the ones that are putting up a sacrifice here."

"Inaccurate. It is not that the happiness of others is put before ours. Our happiness is intrinsically linked to that of those around us. Therefore, ensuring that their happiness is achieved also enables our own happiness to come to fruition."

"I understand what you're getting at. But all of their feelings were sincere. It would have been rude and hurtful if we hadn't considered all of them seriously before making a decision-"

"And while things were going around in circles here," said Raku, looking up at the sky. "The world kept turning."

Raku clenched his fist. He wiped the blood from his nose, smearing it across his face and angrily shouted.

"Well, what was I supposed to do!? Was I supposed to just accept Onodera's feelings because that's what I wanted? Just ignored everyone else's feelings like they weren't even there!?"

"So you'd break a couple of eggs, like that fucking matters!" shot back Raku. "Better than what's happening now. Do you understand why Onodera Kosaki is in there? She's making a deal, a deal to fix this shit you caused. You stood back and waited, waited for a convenient exit out of this situation. Waited for something to happen that'd make this all better. And while you were waiting, you pathetic piece of shit, your woman was making the hard choice for you!"

Raku jabbed him hard in the chest with an accusing finger.

"And what? You want to save her now? You want to stop her? So that you can do what? So that everything goes back to normal, right? So that you can sit back again and go back to fantasizing about this girl while you're juggling everyone else's feelings like glass balls."

Raku shoved away the finger, his teeth grinding.

"No...that's wrong. I want to save her because I don't want her to disappear from my life. Our lives. Because she's important to them. Because she's important to me!"

"If she's that important to you, then you should have treasured her, you bastard!"

"That's what I've been doing, that's what I've _always_ been doing, I've always wanted to-!"

Darkness. Ichijou Raku was facing the barrier again. Beyond the gate, there was only darkness.

"That's wrong," said Raku from behind him. "You never treasured her. Because you always kept her at a distance from you. A flower on a mountain. How can you protect something that you've never held with your own hands?"

"That's..." Raku's hand crumpled into a ball against the barrier.

"It's not my fault...I never had a chance...it's just a misunderstanding, if I accept her feelings right now, I won't be able to live up to it-"

"Right now, the situation is unfavorable for a relationship. If things are not sorted out with Chitoge and the others first, then there is a high chance that future consequences will mire any romantic relations that may develo-"

"Chitoge and the rest all told me that they love me. Chitoge's the closest to me...she's like my best friend...Tsugumi struggled with her feelings all this time because she thought that Chitoge and I were dating...Yui and Marika have loved me since we were kids and did so much to be here with me...Haru kept trying to get me together with Onodera even though it hurt her, because she wanted me to be happy..."

_I can't accept her feelings-_

_I can't enter a relationship like this-_

_I have to consider all of their feelings seriously-_

"You messed up. So own up to your failure. The one you love is willing to sacrifice herself for your sake."

_Are you going to drop that pass too?_

_Are you going to deny it..._

_And wait..._

He understood now. Taking that pass...the pass that Onodera Kosaki was trying to hand off right now...

It meant that Kosaki would be sacrificing her feelings for the sake of everyone else's.

For Raku to accept that...

Would mean that he would be doing the same.

Could he do it? Could he take a step back...suppress his feelings...and do what was necessary for everyone to be happy? Do what he had been trying to do all along...stick with his guns to the very end...even if it was hard-

"I can't."

Raku spun him around and pulled him up by his shirt.

"What do you mean you can't, you fucking shit! This is what you've been doing all along! This is the crap that you've been spewing all along! You're going to back away from this now? You're going to run from this now that something's actually at stake? You pathetic coward! You goddamn hypocrite!"

"I know...I know, but I can't..." said Raku, his eyes shut tight. "I can't...give up Onodera."

He couldn't. Even when he and Chitoge had been pretending to date. Even when he had been about to lose his pendant. Even when all of the girls had confessed to him.

He hadn't been able to give up his feelings.

Because it was only for Onodera Kosaki-

Only for his love-

That he would rather be selfish. That he would rather be happy on his own than care about other people.

"Fucking hypocrite...if that's what you wanted all along, then why didn't you do it from the beginning?"

"...I don't know."

"Hmph. Typical. Well...at least you're not pussyfooting around this time. So? How are you going to do this then?"

"...I don't know. I still don't know...but I'll find a way. I have to...I'll definitely figure out how to save Onodera! I swear!"

"Then figure it out, Raku."

That voice. It was no longer the voice of Ichijou Raku. Raku raised his head and saw that the other Rakus had disappeared. Now, there was only one person standing before him-

His father.

"Old man...why are you...?"

"I didn't die, if that's what you're thinking," said Raku's father, looking around as he walked up to him. "Your friends are pretty reckless, burning down sacred grounds."

"Y-You're not really here, are you?" said Raku, peering at his father.

"Heh, hanging around a burning shrine with the Bonyari police right next-door? Raku, do you think your old man is an idiot?" said Raku's father. He sighed and sat down on a nearby log. "Phew. You must be tired. My feet are aching."

Raku's father took a moment to take off his sandals before continuing. "So, you must really be in a pinch. How can I help?"

"Help...I don't really know..." said Raku, scratching his head. What were these things anyways? Hallucinations? Self-reflections? He could understand the other Rakus, but why his old man...?

"Well, even though I say help, I probably can't do anything myself," said Raku's father, massaging the balls of his feet. "Whatever happens, it's going to be you who has to do it."

"I know that, but...I can't figure out what I can do. We're already trying to get help from someone in Kyoto..."

"That's no good," said Raku's father, rolling his foot on its ankle now. "I told you before, Raku. There are going to be times where other people can't help you. And those are usually the times where the most important things are at stake."

"But then...what do you do if there's nothing you can do? I keep thinking and thinking, but..."

"Then you give up on it."

"Huh!?"

"What? If it's something you can't figure out, then don't waste your time on it," said Raku's father. "Look at it this way. I haven't figured out a way to live forever. Someday, I'm going to die. So I don't worry about it."

"Old man, don't say stuff like that..."

"Raku, people only struggle to find an answer to a problem if that problem has one. Why did you go along with that fake dating of yours?"

"The fake dating? That's...because our guys would've gone to war..."

"So? Wasn't there any other way to stop it?"

"...If there was, then I wouldn't have...I mean..."

"Hoho, what was that? You hesitated there, didn't you? You really did. Hooo, being young is nice, huh?"

"T-That's not what I meant! Come on, old man..."

"Hehe. But well, that's it. You went along with it because there was nothing else you could do. There was no other solution for that problem at the time, so you didn't look for one."

"Yeah, but...this time..."

"You said there's nothing you can do. But you're still looking for a solution. Raku, that just means you're not looking at the right problem."

"Not the right problem...? But I have to get past this barrier if I want to save Onodera..."

"That's wrong, isn't it, beansprout?"

Chitoge was standing before him. But not the Chitoge that had been with him earlier, with leaves in her tied-up hair and dirt on her clothes. This was the Chitoge he saw at school, in her dazzling white uniform, her blonde hair falling behind her in long, graceful ribbons.

"W-What...why am I hallucinating you!? You're right over there!"

"L-Like I know, idiot! It's your messed up head!"

Raku rubbed his eyes and looked back. Nope, still there. This was really getting out of hand...

"Anyways, listen up. The problem isn't that you have to get past this barrier, right? It's that you want to save Kosaki-chan."

"Y-Yeah. But the only way is to get this barrier down..."

"No, no, no. There's an easier way, isn't there?" said Chitoge, shaking her head at him. "Think, beansprout! It's not that hard!"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this from you...but..." said Raku, sighing at himself. But it was true that Chitoge was smarter than him. He was missing something...something that was right in his face...

"I need to rescue Onodera..."

And the only way to do that was to get rid of the barrier. And the reason they had to do that was because the barrier was stopping them from retrieving Onodera. But...that wasn't the problem at all. The problem they were trying to solve...was how to get Onodera away from the shrine. No...that wasn't it. Getting her away from the shrine was just a means to an end.

And the end was to stop Onodera Kosaki from using "Netorare Neko-chan!".

"The barrier's up just to let Onodera think in peace..." said Raku, the pieces starting to fall together. "So, I just need Onodera to leave on her own...!"

"But how are you going to do that, shitface?" said Raku, standing to his left.

"Make sure you're looking at the right problem, Raku," said his father from the right.

"Why does Kosaki-chan want to use 'Netorare Neko-chan!' ?" said Chitoge.

_Because..._

_Because...she wants everyone to be happy._

_Because...I didn't make a decision._

_Because right now...we're all just waiting..._

_Waiting for an answer that won't hurt anyone..._

Raku opened his eyes. The darkness was still in front of him. The crackling of the fires was still behind him. Chitoge and the others were still trying to contact the sister priestess in Kyoto.

Nothing had changed.

But that meant-

There was still a chance.

Raku took a deep breath. He filled his lungs with cool air, the scent of smoke flooding his nose-

And he shouted, at the top of his lungs-

"ONODERAAAAAAAAA!"

"W-Wha!?"

Chitoge and the others jumped at Raku's outburst.

"ONOODERAAA!" continued Raku, straining his throat to push out as much volume as he could. "YOU CAN HEAR THIS, CAN'T YOU? LISTEN TO ME, ONODERAAA!"

He paused for a second, panting hard as he gathered his thoughts. His words. His weapon against "Netorare Neko-chan!".

His courage.

"Onodera, I...! I...! ..."

Raku pressed his head against the barrier, blushing. Daaamnn iittt! Why was he getting tongue-tied now!? He licked his dry lips and swallowed saliva for his dry throat.

"I...I've always..."

_Damn it...I can't do it..._

Raku leaned against the barrier with his fists. He tried again to force the words out, but they continued to freeze up in his mouth. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get the final push through.

_You stupid beansprout. This time it's not the wrong problem. It's the wrong solution!_

Raku smiled as he heard her voice. No matter how he actually felt, it seemed like Chitoge would always be there to give him a kick.

"Onodera..." said Raku, still loudly enough that everyone could hear his voice. "Two weeks ago...after the Bonyari Invasion...you, Chitoge, and everyone else...all of you confessed to me. And to be honest, it made me confused. Because...I didn't know about any of your feelings...I never noticed it even though I was always with you guys. I didn't know how to respond because...I had never thought about it..."

"Boss? Boss, are you there? Boss, I think we found that priestess you were looking fo-"

The labcoat girl lowered the phone from her ear. Everyone's eyes were on Raku.

_Next...what do I say next...?_

He only had this chance. He only had this time to tell Kosaki. Tell her everything that he wanted to say.

"But I was happy!" said Raku, knowing from the bottom of his heart that everything he was saying was true. Not half-hearted, not evasive, but exactly as it was. "It made me happy...your guys' feelings. I thought...I even thought that it was too good. Too good for someone like me..."

A drop rolled down Chitoge's cheek. She put a hand up to her mouth to keep her voice down.

He said it had made him happy. Her feelings...he hadn't said that they were a bother. He hadn't said that they were wrong or that he didn't want them. He said he was happy...

Tsugumi didn't know how to respond. She simply buried her glowing face back into her hands. Marika smiled happily, although her tempered eyes showed that she knew what Raku really meant.

"I was happy. And I really thought I was lucky," continued Raku. He looked into the darkness, hoping, praying, _wishing_ that Kosaki could hear him. "But...as happy as I was...as lucky as I felt..."

_One more push, beansprout._

_I know..._

_You can do it._

_...Chitoge. I'm sorry..._

_You better not say that to me in real life. I know that I'll punch you out for that._

_I won't. I definitely won't..._

Because all of their feelings were real.

Because-

They had been sincere, as serious as his own feelings were.

So he knew how they felt. He knew how worried they had been, how happy they had been, how disappointed they had been, how embarrassed they had been, how brave they had been.

It was that thought that gave him courage. That thought that felt as if everyone was pushing him forward-

_You're a man, aren't you?_

'...I felt the happiest, the luckiest, and the most confused!" said Raku, his voice strengthening, louder, louder, louder! "When you said you loved me. Because I couldn't believe it. Because it was the thing that I wanted the most, the thing that I thought was completely, utterly, absolutely impossible!"

He panted. He shook. His hands tightened until they felt like they'd burst.

"Because..."

_Go._

"Because..."

_GO!_

"Because...!"

**GO!**

"Because I love you, Onodera! I've always, I've always, always, always loved you!" shouted Raku, shouting until all the air in his lungs rushed out, until he couldn't breathe, until every last drop of the feelings that had been inside him for three years was squeezed into the words-

"I love you...I love you, so don't go. Come back. COME BACK AND STAY HERE WITH ME!"

Footsteps. A blonde blur came flying next to him.

"That's right...so come back, Kosaki-chan!" said Chitoge, pushing against the barrier. "Come back to us and this stupid beansprout!"

"Onodera-sama, please come back!"

"Come back, Kosaki!"

"Onodera-san, running away with a victory is shameful and cowardly!"

"Don't leave us with this shitty ending, Onodera Kosaki!"

"Kosaki-tan, please!"

The barrier was crowded. Everyone was pushing against Raku. He was squashed against it, struggling to get the last of his words out.

"Don't take the deal. Don't erase everything! Come back...come back and live! Live with us! Live with me! Come back so that I don't have to fall in love with you again. Come back so that I can keep loving you, Onodera!"

_Onodera._

_Onodera!_

_ONODERA!_

"COME BACK, KOSAAAAAKI!"

Raku's final cry faded slowly. It was swallowed by the darkness. Raku breathed against the barrier, his heart beating louder and louder as he waited. Waited.

And waited.

But there was no answer.

There was no sound.

Just the air. Cool air floating through Raku's fingers.

"Eh?" said Chitoge as she fell forward. "W-Waaahh!"

All of them crashed into a heap under the gate.

"The barrier...!" said the labcoat girl, waving her arm around. "The barrier's gone!"

"Kosaki-chan-!" said Chitoge, trying to squeeze out from under a leg. "Then Kosaki-chan is-!"

He passed by her in a blur. He had already been moving when the barrier had disappeared. Chitoge watched as Raku dashed off into the darkness.

"You better bring her back, beansprout," said Chitoge, her eyes wet. She rubbed them against her wrist and smiled. "If you make me cry again...I won't forgive you."

* * *

Raku was surrounded by shrine buildings. His shoes padded softly against the stone-layered paths.

"Onodera...where are you?" said Raku, breathing hard. "Onodera..."

Where would she be? It couldn't be the offering hall...right?

He ran up the steps and looked around. Nothing. He couldn't hear anything either. The place was completely silent.

But she had to be in the shrine...The barrier had disappeared. That meant Kosaki had made a choice. But he could still remember her so...

_Somewhere..._

_She has to be here somewhere...!_

_If I just keep looking-!_

"Ichijou-kun."

Raku's heart stopped. He turned around so quickly that he slipped and banged his knee on the floor.

"Ichijou-kun! Are you ok?"

Raku looked up. It was dark and she was covered in shadow from the offering hall's roofing but-

It was her. She was there.

Onodera Kosaki was still here.

"Onodera...Onodera!"

Raku ran up and swung his arms around her.

"Onodera...you're still here..." said Raku, sobbing into her hair. "You're still here..."

"Ichijou-kun..." said Kosaki, her voice watery. "I heard it...I heard everything..."

"I-I see..." said Raku, his lips twisting into an embarrassed smile. "I...I sounded stupid, didn't I?"

Kosaki shook her head into his shoulder.

"No...no you didn't. You were really cool, Ichijou-kun. I was really happy," said Kosaki, hugging him back.

"I see..." said Raku, unable to think of anything else to say. He tightened his hug around Kosaki. "I'm glad...I don't think I could do that again..."

Kosaki laughed a little. She pressed her face into his shoulder, resting her body against his.

"I'm sorry, Onodera...for letting it get to this point..."

"No. Don't be sorry, Ichijou-kun. Please."

"If only I had told you sooner..."

"No...it's not your fault..."

Raku sniffed and pulled her even closer to him. Just a moment ago, he had felt so cold and hopeless. But now...with Kosaki in his arms...right here...with him...he felt like he was melting wth happiness.

"Onodera...?"

"...Yeah? What is it, Ichijou-kun?"

"...I love you."

He could feel her face growing warmer against his shoulder.

"...Me too," said Kosaki, after a long pause. "I love you too, Ichijou-kun."

"So...it was mutual, huh?" said Raku with a short laugh.

"Yeah..." said Kosaki, the giddy smile refusing to leave her face. "All this time...we loved each other and didn't know."

"But now we do," said Raku. "I got your pass, Onodera."

"Huh?"

"...Never mind."

They laughed and pulled away slightly. But Raku didn't let her go. After all this, he couldn't let her go. He felt like she might disappear still...might still leave...

"Onodera?"

"Hm?"

"I love you...so..."

"S-So...?"

"...Don't ever leave me," said Raku, his voice stilted as he said those embarrassing, cliched words. "Stay by my side forever..."

"..."

Kosaki just pressed her face into his chest. Hugged him tightly again.

"Onodera...?"

"..."

_Clatter._

Raku looked down at the sound. Something had fallen from Kosaki's hands.

A DVD case. Completely black.

Raku looked at it questioningly, a hint of something gnawing at the back of his head.

"Onodera...that's..."

"...Ichijou-kun," said Kosaki, her voice quiet and muffled. "...I'm sorry."

Raku's eyes widened. His mind went into overdrive, blasting into a cold, stark blank.

"...I'm sorry. But it's too late..."

She looked up and smiled at him, a warm, lonely smile.

A small dot appeared on the DVD. And it grew larger and larger. Until the entire case was covered in white. Until the white began to leak out, shining, blinding light spreading outwards, forcing Raku's eyes shut-

"Onodera? Onodera!"

The light bled through the darkness, bled through his eyes, covering everything, suffocating everything-

He felt Kosaki separate from him. He grabbed blindly at the air, trying to catch Onodera's hand in his.

But nothing. His hand grabbed onto nothing.

All he received were her last words, in a small, soft voice.

"...Goodbye, Ichijou-kun."

And then, there was only white.

* * *

**A/N: **_And so, we reach the end. Epilogue incoming._


	44. HSKC Epilogue - Hello Again

_Come back, Kosaki-chan!_

_Please come back!_

_Come back, Kosaki!_

_Come back...come back and live! Live with us! Live with me! Come back so that I can keep loving you, Onodera!_

Echoing. Echoing all around her. The disembodied voices. The desperate pleas.

Onodera Kosaki looked up, her hands wrapped around her shivering body. She stood up in the darkness, looking for the source of those voices.

"Ichijou-kun..."

Hot tears splashed on the ground. She couldn't control it, the updraft of warmth racing through her. The calls continued, the words of her friends kept flying at her, embracing her, pulling her back.

Back to the real world.

Back to their easygoing, everyday, normal life.

Back to their friendships, to their loves, to their cherished connections.

Kosaki's hand clenched against her chest. She gasped, her fingers loosening over the DVD.

_I cant..._

_I can't let them go..._

A better world. A better future.

The world that "Netorare Neko-chan!" offered to her, one where her friends would be happy, where they'd have forgotten even this blemish in their life-

[Please make your decision.]

I can't.

[Yes, you can. Do it.]

I can't!

The DVD rattled in her hands.

[You can do it. I know that you can do it. It's because you're you that you can do it. It's because you're Onodera Kosaki, it's because you're someone who cares for her friends, cares for them more than herself, that you can do it.]

But...

But...

It was at this point that Onodera Kosaki fully understood what she was about to lose. Her fingers were caught tightly in the hands of her friends. They stubbornly clung to her, desperately pulling her back.

_Don't go._

I...

_Don't go._

But...

_DON'T GO!_

"I love you."

Like a breath of spring, the words gently blew through her. They caressed her face and held her cheek softly.

"Ichijou-kun..."

She reached up and held that hand. Nuzzled her cheek against it.

"Me too...I love you too, Ichijou-ku-"

"I love you, Chitoge."

Her heart burst. A spear pierced through it, punching a hole through her chest. Blood was spurting from the wound, filling her lungs, her throat, spilling out of her mouth.

"Ahh...ahh..."

The tender hands holding her, the warm touch pulling at her, all of it turned into sludge. Heavy, thick sludge that made her sink to her knees. Sink into the darkness again, sticking to her limbs, her hair, her lips-

"Ghh...!"

The fabric of her uniform twisted as she clenched her chest. Tried to suppress the pulsing pain that was chewing her from the inside-out.

That's right...

That's why...

**I'm here.**

Kindness. To be kind is to be unselfish. To be able to suppress one's desires, to be able to restrain one's self, for the sake of someone else. To be kind is to have strength, to be kind is to be superhuman.

That is why kindness is valued in human society.

That is why human society is trash.

Because human society hides in its lies. What was that? Kindness is strong? Kindness is lenient? Selfless?

Can a person be inherently kind?

No, it's impossible. Kindness does not equate to survival. That is because survival is a selfish concept, it is the preservation of one's self.

No, kindness continues to exist because it aids in survival. Because the kindness of humans is inherently selfish.

To garner favor from others. To pacify others. To instill a sense of empathy, a sense of camaraderie.

To chain them with debts. To get that extra card in your hand. To drop their guard.

Kindness impresses people. Kindness amazes people.

Because kindness seems so wrong. Seems so out of place.

And it is. That is why true kindness does not exist. Only human kindness, a pale imitation, a manipulative tool tossed down for people to squabble over-

That is why Onodera Kosaki was the worst kind of human being. Because her kindness, her efforts for the sake of others-

Was simply self-indulgence. Self-satisfaction. To do to others what you would want them to do to you.

It was not that Onodera Kosaki was strong. It was that Onodera Kosaki was weak. So weak that when victory was at hand, she could only feel the pain of her enemies. So weak that she faltered at that pain, cowered from it.

She couldn't endure it, so she would run away.

That was why Onodera Kosaki had come here. That was why Onodera Kosaki had made the decision to use "Netorare Neko-chan!".

Not for the happiness of her friends. Not for her own happiness.

But to escape from unhappiness. She was utterly terrified by it, terrified by its proximity.

If Chitoge-chan was in my position...

If Tsugumi-chan was in my position...

If Marika-chan was in my position, if Haru was in my position, if Yui-san was in my position-

If Ichijou-kun loved any of them instead of me-

I don't know...

I don't know if I could...

**Live with it.**

**Endure it.**

**Accept it.**

[Do it. Onodera Kosaki. There is no happy ending here. There are only two bad ends.]

The lesser of two evils.

Because at least, in the other future, Onodera Kosaki wouldn't remember the pain. Wouldn't have any suffering.

In all likelihood, she would be happy. In that future, they would all be happy.

Being together wasn't necessary, right?

It was just an issue of spatial distance.

It wasn't like they weren't going to part ways in the future anyways. They would all go their separate paths. They would get married to different people, they would have families and have their own lives to manage. The illusion of their friendship would break and the true loneliness of human life would become as real as the DVD in her hand.

It was simple math. Utilitarian at its core. It was better to have happiness for all than for one.

[That's right. That's why you came here. That's why you suffered until now, that's why you kept looking forward until now, that's why you've stayed here, alone, struggling, even though your friends are calling you.]

**That's why you're turning your back on them.**

**Now do it.**

[Do it.]

I have to do it.

[You must do it.]

I need to do it.

[Use me-]

And...

Be happy.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Onodera...for letting it get to this point..."

_No...it's not your fault..._

"If only I had told you sooner..."

_No, no. It's fine, Ichijou-kun. It's fine...I'm glad that you told me now. I'm so happy-_

"Onodera...?"

...

"I love you."

...

_Me too._

_I love you too, Ichijou-kun._

_I love you so much..._

_I've always loved you..._

But.

But...

_...It's too late._

_I'm sorry...Ichijou-kun._

_Goodbye..._

I've already...

Let go of you guys...

A white landscape. In it, Onodera Kosaki.

And standing across from her, Ichijou Raku and her friends.

Laughing. Shouting. Pouting. Hitting. Hugging. Smiling.

An invisible line separating them. A line that Onodera Kosaki could no longer cross.

They were at different stations. They were boarding different trains.

Kosaki smiled bitterly. There was no point in regretting now. She had made her decision...

Even if she kept wondering if it had been right-

Even if the doubts refused to fade away-

Even if the sight was tormenting her, pricking holes in her heart-

...

...

It'd all disappear soon.

It'd all be gone...

Soon...

* * *

**Bonus Arc (HSKC)**

* * *

"Onodera?"

A third-year in middle school, Onodera Kosaki. Sitting at a bench in a park, one cold afternoon.

Holding a bag of groceries in one hand, her classmate, Ichijou Raku, called out while passing by.

"Ichijou-kun? What are you doing here...?"

"I was going to ask too...what are you doing here, Onodera?"

"...Huh? Oh...I...I'm not sure..."

Why was she sitting here? It _was_ kind of strange to sit alone on a park bench like this...

"I was just on my way back from the store..." continued Ichijou, walking over to her. "B-But...it's really a coincidence meeting up like this, huh? Ahaha..."

"Yeah..." said Kosaki, smiling. For some reason, Ichijou looked a little stiff. If she remembered correctly, he was always cooking for his yakuza family...maybe he was tired from the shopping? "Are you ok, Ichijou-kun?"

"H-Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. W-Why do you ask?" said Ichijou, his voice still a little shaky from nerves.

"No reason..." said Kosaki, slightly bemused. She scooted over to make space for Ichijou. "Want to sit down?"

"Is it ok...? I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"Of course not! You're not bothering me at all," said Kosaki, waving her hand. "Thinking about it now, I was probably just getting some fresh air..."

"I see. Well, then..."

He put his bags on the ground and then sat down next to her.

"You can sit a little closer, if you want."

"H-Huh? Oh...yeah..."

Ichijou's face turned a little red and he scooted over an inch. Kosaki put a hand up to cover her smile. Like always, he was being so weird.

They sat there, on the bench, in silence. It wasn't yet winter, but it was still quite chilly. Kosaki wrapped her scarf a bit more tightly around her neck.

"Are you cold, Onodera?"

"Ah...yeah. A little bit. The weather's been really cold lately, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, it's kinda weird considering how far winter is still..."

"Winter, huh...?" said Kosaki, her sigh coming out in a small white puff.

"Most people would be excited for winter because of the holidays, but..." said Ichijou, sharing Kosaki's feelings. Soon after, they'd have to take entrance exams for their respective high schools. Even though there was still a good amount of time left, the pressure was already starting to sink in.

"Which school are you going for, Ichijou-kun?"

"Bonyari High School. It's close by, so..."

"Bonyari...well, you'll probably be fine with your grades, Ichijou-kun."

"I hope so. I've been trying to study, but..."

"Ahaha...I know what you mean," said Kosaki with a slightly depressed smile. "I'm trying for Otori's Girl School and I think it'll be ok, but..."

"Otori's Girl School...huh?" said Ichijou. Perhaps she was reading too much into it, but Ichijou sounded a little disappointed for some reason. "Sounds like a good match."

"Yeah. And they have some really nice cake shops near th- ahaha I mean...it's a good area..." said Kosaki, laughing to cover up her embarrassment. She didn't want Ichijou to think that she was picking her school so casually...even though she really was...

_Bonyari High School...huh?_

"...Ichijou-kun?"

"Hm?"

"...What are you planning on doing after high school?"

"Huh?" said Ichijou, startled by the sudden question. "I...I don't know. I mean, I know that I want to be a civil servant, but I haven't really thought that far ahead..."

"A civil servant? You're not going to take over as the head of the yak-"

"No. No way."

His response was so flat and direct that Kosaki couldn't help but laugh. So Ichijou hadn't really thought about it either...

"W-What about you, Onodera?"

"Huh?"

"Are you going to take over your family's sweets store...?"

"Ah..." said Kosaki, looking down at her hands. "I don't know...I mean, I wouldn't mind. I like helping out at the store. But I haven't thought about it that much either..."

"I see..." said Ichijou, scratching his cheek. Neither of them knew what to say after, so the conversation stalled. Kosaki looked at all of the bags that Ichijou had been carrying. She wondered what he was cooking today...Since all of her cooking endeavors had been disastrous, Kosaki was feeling a little envious of Ichijou at the moment.

"O-Onodera...!"

"Hm?" Maybe if she asked, Ichijou could give her some pointers on cooking...But then again, Haru was good at cooking too, but she hadn't been able to learn from her at all...

"Um...well..." said Ichijou, looking extremely flustered for some reason. "Uh...about high school..."

"?"

"...This is probably the last time we'll see each other in class, huh?" said Ichijou.

"Yeah...since we'll be going to different schools..." She felt a little lonely saying that. They had been in the same class for two years after all and to be honest, she had enjoyed talking to him. She wasn't sure if she could say that they had become friends, but she felt like that their relationship was pretty close to that...

"But...I mean..." Ichijou was shifting back and forth on the bench, like he was really struggling with something. "I...I have a lot of fun talking with you, Onodera. At school."

"Me too..." said Kosaki, smiling. So she wasn't the only one that had felt that way. That made her feel a little happy. "It's nice talking to you too, Ichijou-kun. I really enjoy it."

"I...I see..." said Ichijou, a wobbly smile appearing on his face. Hm? Was he happy because of what she had said? Kosaki felt the same wobbly smile appearing on her own face. Even though it was true, it was kind of embarrassing to say it, now that she thought about it.

"...It'd be nice if we could keep talking after middle school," said Kosaki. _Eh? Wait...did I just say that out loud?_

"M-Me too!" said Ichijou. He blushed as he realized how loud his voice had gotten. "I mean...I think it'd be great too..."

Kosaki felt her face grow a little warm. Even though it was chilly...it was because Ichijou had said something like that...

Now that it was her final year in middle school, the thought that she would separate from her classmates and her friends made her heart pang a little. Kosaki wasn't a very outgoing person, so she didn't have a lot of friends. But the ones that she had made...like Ruri and Ichijou...

_..._

_What I'm going to do in the future...huh?_

She didn't know. She had some idea, but it wasn't fully defined. She hadn't really given much thought to it because it was so far away. But...in the future...she'd have to go through something like this again, wouldn't she? Would high school pass by in a flash...like middle school had?

Kosaki's fingers clutched her skirt. If it was like that...if it ended up like that...

She'd really like to be with her friends...to make good memories with her friends...

A future like that...

Maybe that's what she really wanted...

"Maybe I should apply to Bonyari High School too..."

"H-Huh!?" said Ichijou, his eyes snapping over to her. "W-What are you saying all of a sudden, Onodera...?"

"Ah...that's..." said Kosaki, feeling her face redden for some reason. "Well...like you said, it's pretty close...and it's a higher level school than Otori, so it might be better for college..."

_And..._

Kosaki lowered her chin into her scarf.

"...And, Ichijou-kun will be there too...right?"

"E-Eh? W..What do you mean by that, Onodera?"

"Ah...n-not like that! I mean...like before...it'd be nice if we could keep talking after we graduate..."

Raku felt like he was about to burst with happiness.

"B-But, Otori's your first choice, right? Won't it be tough to switch tracks like that all of a sudden...?"

"I think it'll be fine...studying for Bonyari's exam will help me for Otori too, so..."

"I see..." said Raku. _Again? Is that all I can say!? _"Well, if you want...we could study together..."

_I said it. I really said it! Holy crap, I'm on fire today!_

Kosaki blinked at his response. ...It really was like him, wasn't it? Even though she mainly saw him at school, she had noticed it...That Ichijou Raku was really a good guy.

"Yeah. If that's ok with you..." said Kosaki.

"OF COURSE! I-I mean...yeah. L-Let's both do our best..."

"But are you sure, Ichijou-kun? Since my grades are kind of...I mean, I don't want to slow you down..."

"N-No! No way! My grades aren't that good either! A-Anyways, if we get stuck on something, working together can help us understand it better...I think."

"Yeah...you're probably right. Maybe Ruri-chan will study with us too..."

"Miyamoto, huh? She has good grades. Ah...then maybe if we ask Shu too...I hate to admit, but that guy's good at studying too..."

Sitting there on the bench...on that chilly day...

Talking together until their time meandered away...

...It really was nice.

Maybe...

Maybe that was her happiness...

* * *

_...Eh?_

_Why..._

_Why am I still..._

The scene from middle school faded away. The white landscape had returned, Onodera Kosaki on one side and Ichijou Raku on the other.

She could see it. The red string of fate that had been tied to her hand and his.

Snapping. Falling away.

It had been mutual. Her first love. But now, she was giving it up. Giving it up so that those other red strings, the ones that would be tightly bound to Raku's little finger-

So that those strings could be given life. So that they would pull tight and never let go.

Become unbreakable, no matter what happened.

Drift away. With the others. Together. They were supposed to drift away.

So why...

_Why..._

Ichijou Raku was still standing in front of her.

"Why...?"

Behind him, Chitoge and the others. Red strings floating out from them, tying onto Raku's.

Pulling him back. Pulling him away from her.

But he didn't get any further from her. They didn't disappear into the white, away from her, far away-

Because one more string...one more string had been attached. Replacing the string from Onodera Kosaki to Ichijou Raku.

It was the string from Ichijou Raku to Onodera Kosaki.

"Why...? Why am I tied too...?"

"Because I love you, Kosaki."

Raku's hand reached out and grabbed hers. Grabbed her and pulled her forward, speeding through the white, all of them, traveling together, down this hurtling path-

"I love you, Kosaki!"

"Me too...I love you too, Ichijou-kun!"

She cried out. She cried out, with her tears sparkling like crystals, bouncing light back into her eyes, blinding her-

_Onodera-_

_ONODERA!_

In the bright light, his hand extended. Extended out and touched hers. Their fingers interlocked, as if they were lovers, embracing-

"Ichijou-kun!"

And then, the white burst. Burst into small, glowing, white orbs, falling down gently like fresh snow. As each one fell, it cast away a small section of the night, exposing what was right in front of her-

The sweaty, panting face of Ichijou Raku. His warm hand tightly holding hers.

"Onodera!"

"Ichijou-kun...Ichijou-kun!" said Kosaki, her eyes brimming. She looked at their hands, as if she couldn't believe they were real. But she could feel it. She could definitely feel it.

...It was Raku. It was the Raku that she knew, the Raku that she loved.

"Onodera...you're ok..." said Raku, his voice trembling.

"Yeah...I'm ok..." said Kosaki, eyes shutting tight as she tried to control her voice. "I'm ok..."

"KOOOSAAAKII-CHAAAN!"

In the distance, racing through the gently falling orbs, Kirisaki Chitoge and the others were running towards them.

"Kosaki-chan, you're alright!" said Chitoge, leaping and embracing Kosaki in a big bear hug.

"Kosaki!" Ruri rushed over, a relieved smile blooming on her face.

"Onodera-sama!" "Onodera-san!"

There were more shouts as everyone came rushing over.

"Everyone..."

"Jeez, Kosaki-chan!" said Chitoge, looking at her with angry, tearful eyes. "What were you thinking!? You idiot! Dummy Kosaki! Don't...Don't scare us like that!"

"I'm glad...I'm so glad..." said Ruri, joining the hug.

"Sorry..." said Kosaki, sniffing as liquid started to drip from her nose. "I'm sorry...everyone..."

"Stupid...dummy..." said Chitoge, crying into Kosaki's hair. Tsugumi came over, unable to stop the waterfall flowing down her face, and cried into Kosaki's shoulder. Marika also came over, her calm, wry smile slowly shifting as she bit her lip to keep composed.

"She's...back..." said the labcoat girl, falling to her knees. "She's...back..."

"Kosaki-tan!" cried the Black Suits, rubbing their eyes into their wrists. "T-Thank goodness!"

"The DVD didn't work...?" said the labcoat girl, wiping her own eyes. She looked up at the snow-like orbs and reached her hand out to touch them.

Warm. They were warm and soft, fading once she touched them, like they had never been real. And when she touched them, the warmth and tenderness spread, settling all the way into her heart.

"...No. The price was definitely paid..." said the labcoat girl with a cozy smile as the bittersweet feelings rushed through her. So...why? Why hadn't anything changed...?

"Onodera..." said Raku, still holding her hand through the embrace of all of the other girls.

"Hmm...?" said Kosaki, hugging her friends back with her other hand.

"...You won't leave, right? You're...really here."

"...Yeah. I won't leave. I won't leave...ever again," said Kosaki, her voice breaking down. "Never..."

_I'll never let you guys go again..._

* * *

**Hello Again**

_Epilogue_

* * *

"Alright...after eating that ichigo daifuku, I'm all fired up! That scary lady was right, it's given me so much energy!"

"You're feeling it too? I'm not even scared anymore that we're up against the police!"

"Everyone, get your asses ready! We're going to blast right through this ring and go get our porno!"

"YEAAHH!"

As the hunters released a booming battle cry-

A bright, harsh light lit up the top of the shrine.

"W-Wait a minute! What's that!?"

In the distance, rising into the dark night-

A second hot-air balloon.

"T-Those bastards! They're getting away!"

"They must've found 'Netorare Neko-chan!'"

"Shit, is that why they were stalling for time!? So that they could set up another hot-air ballon to escape with!?"

"W-What the hell! There's no way I can catch up to a hot-air balloon from here!"

"Hehehe...well, well. Looks like someone's out of luck!" said the leader of the Iron Talons. He switched off the safety in his jet pack and blasted into the air. "In that case, we, the Iron Talons, will be going ahead! HAHAHA!"

"Damn it! They got the lead on us!"

"Screw you guys, I'm done with this ceasefire! It's every man for himself now!"

"Oh yeah? Well then...I guess you won't mind if I bring out my ultimate weapon, THE BLOODY ARES OF DE-Waggghh!"

"Let's go, Newbie! This time, we'll get that porno for sure!"

"And how do you expect to do that on an electric scooter!?"

As the hot-air balloon floated away from the shrine, the hunters chased after it in a wild, chaotic mass.

"Running, are ya!?" said Tachibana's father, raising a megaphone to his lips. "GET EVERY ONE OF THOSE GODDAMN CRIMINALS!"

And so, the Bonyari police also joined in the chase.

* * *

"Ahhh...I'm so tired!"

Chitoge stretched her arms and laid down on the wooden walkway.

"Thank you for your hard work today, Ojou," said Tsugumi, sitting down next to her.

"Well, that should settle it," said the labcoat girl, walking back over to them. "They'll probably chase that empty balloon long enough for us to get away."

"I'm sorry everyone...for all the trouble I caused you today..." said Kosaki, downcast.

"Kosaki-chan, it's fine! We're just glad that you're o-"

"You should be sorry, Onodera-san," cut in Marika, sitting with her arms crossed. "You caused quite the fuss today and put Raku-sama through an immense amount of stress. Really, things only got this bad because of your actions today."

"Marika! That's going too far!" said Chitoge, glaring at her. "Kosaki only had good intentions!"

"Whatever her intentions may have been, it doesn't change the fact that she caused problems for everybody involved," said Marika in a matter-of-fact tone. "Apologizing was the_ least_ she could do."

"Marika..." said Chitoge with gritted teeth.

"Chitoge-chan, don't!" said Kosaki, holding Chitoge back. "She's right...I really caused a lot of problems today..."

"Don't talk like that, Kosaki-chan!" said Chitoge. "No one's blaming you for what happened!"

"Hmph. That may be your take on the situation. But I am not so lenient," said Marika. "There are events today that are solely the responsibility of Onodera-san. She needs to be aware of this."

"Cut it out already, Marika! She already apologized, didn't sh-"

Chitoge was interrupted by a hand from Raku. Her glowering eyes turned to him, but stopped as she saw him hold a finger up for silence.

"Do you understand, Onodera-san? What you did today is not something that can be easily forgiven," said Marika, looking sternly at her. "It seems that everyone is willing to let and forget, but that is a mark of their sincerity and kindness, not a mark of friendship."

"...Yes," said Kosaki, looking like a scolded child.

Marika huffed and looked away. "Therefore, do not do something like this again, Onodera-san. The others may be kind enough, but I am certainly not. Neither am I willing to be patient for this kind of thing."

"Yes. I won't, Marika-chan," said Kosaki, smiling.

"She really can't be honest..." said Raku, exchanging looks with Chitoge.

"Yeah...really," said Chitoge with an exasperated smile. However, her smile faltered a little as her eyes strayed down to the wooden walkway. Kosaki and Raku were still holding hands.

"S-So..." said Chitoge, coughing to clear her throat. "...You guys are together now, huh?"

"Eh?" said Raku and Kosaki. They looked at each other and then down at their hands.

"Ah! S-Sorry!" said Kosaki, quickly letting go.

"N-No...I mean...it's ok..." said Raku, also snatching his hand away.

"...What are you guys doing?" said Chitoge.

"That's...um...Chitoge-chan..." said Kosaki, her hands fidgeting nervously. "I know what Ichijou-kun said, but...he probably only said that because of the situation...I mean, I-I don't think that was a proper answer..."

"R-Right..." said Raku, laughing awkwardly. "It wasn't...I mean, that was kind of..."

Raku trailed away. No, this wasn't what he wanted to say. This wasn't what he wanted to do...right?

"...No. It was a proper answer," said Raku, sighing. He looked at Kosaki firmly in the eyes. "I love _you_, Onodera."

Kosaki's mouth flapped up and down wordlessly. She ducked her head down, face steaming red.

"T-Thank you..." said Kosaki, not sure what to say. "W-Wait, no, that's not what I wanted to say!"

"You guys are hopeless..." said Chitoge, grinning. She reached over and slapped Raku on the back. "But Kosaki-chan, huh? You're so out of your league, beansprout."

"S-Shut up," said Raku. "...That's who I like."

"I see," said Chitoge. A sweet smile with a sorrowful hint. "I'm happy for you two. Really."

"Chitoge-chan..."

"As am I," said Tsugumi, offering a similar smile. "Onodera-sama is a wonderful person. O-Of course, Ichijou Raku will have to shape up to deserve her..."

"Come on, what's with you guys..." said Raku in a light tone. But he knew what they really meant. Like Marika had said, it wasn't just because of friendship. It was because they were kind and sincere. That was why they were able to talk like this. "...Thanks. I'll try to keep that in mind."

"As I thought," said Marika with a strangely triumphant grin. "You two have stepped down rather easily."

"Huh? Isn't that obvious? Kosaki-chan won..." said Chitoge, annoyed at Marika's tone.

"Perhaps," said Marika, grabbing hold on Raku's arm. "However, I don't think this changes anything. She'll likely be a greater obstacle than someone like you, Kirisaki-san, but I have not given up on Raku-sama yet."

"Marika, you...!"

"Tachibana Marika, do you know what you are saying!?"

"Of course. I won't back down if it's concerning Raku-sama," said Marika, snuggling up to Raku. Her eyes shifted to meet Kosaki's. "So, I hope that you'll do the same, Onodera-san."

Kosaki glanced down for a moment, avoiding Marika's eyes. But then she looked back at her, resolutely, with as much strength as any of them.

"Sorry. But I won't let him go, Marika-chan," said Kosaki.

"Oh my. I know from experience that Raku-sama doesn't particularly care for clingy girls..."

"E-Eh!? Ah...um...I mean...I didn't mean to sound clingy...s-sorry..."

"What are you doing, Kosaki...?" said Ruri, sitting down next to her. "Don't back down so quickly after making your stand..."

"Ruri-chan..."

Ruri smiled at her best friend. "You finally did it, Kosaki. Congratulations."

Kosaki swelled up, her lip trembling with emotion. She reached over and hugged her best friend. "Thanks, Ruri-chan! Thank you..."

"K-Kosaki...you're crushing me..."

"Marika, would you get off Raku already? He's Kosaki's boyfriend now!"

"It doesn't matter to me, my heart belongs to Raku-sama regardless~"

"Tachibana Marika, stop being so shameless!"

"C-Chitoge-chan, Tsugumi-chan. You don't have to..."

"Kosaki-chan, you can't give an inch to someone like her!"

"You say that Kirisaki-san, but aren't you touching Raku-sama a little too familiarly right now?"

"T-That's! I'm just trying to get you off him!"

"G-Guys...my arm. You're going to break my arm!" said Raku, as the girls wrestled over him.

"Man, the guys are going to love this when we get back," said one of the Black Suits, recording the scene with his 20-megapixel cellphone camera.

"Really...nothing changes around here, does it?" said the labcoat girl, sitting down on the walkway.

"Well...I guess that's not a bad thing."

* * *

After that, Raku and the girls were escorted down the shrine to Tachibana's father, where they were all given safe rides home. Once he got home, Raku saw that the Shuei-gumi members had come back peacefully to his house.

"Bocchan! Welcome back!"

"Ryuu! You guys! Are you alright?"

"We're fine, Bocchan! Well...I mean...we had to do a little negotiating with the police, but we got back just fine."

"I'm sorry I got you guys involved in all that..."

"Hahaha, it's no problem, Bocchan! In fact, it should be us apologizing! We left you there defenseless because of a little gas..."

"No, no, that wasn't a little gas at all..."

The Shuei-gumi and the Beehive members had been kept at the police station until Raku's father and Chitoge's father had gone down to clear up matters.

"We'll settle this next time, Shuei-gumi rats," said Claude, pushing up his glasses.

"Heh! Come at us anytime, damn Beehive bastard," said Ryuu, looking down at him.

"Claude, don't tell me that you're still intending to fight after the mess you caused," said Adelt Kirisaki Wagner, dragging Claude away by the ear.

"Agh ow ow, no...that's certainly not what I meant, Bos-aaghh...Please forgive my misunderstaandgg-aaghh!"

"Let's get out of here, Ryuu," said Raku's father, waving as the Beehive members left the scene. "I don't want to meet up with that Tachibana...he's definitely going to grill me for this later."

"Yes, Boss!"

As for Onodera Kosaki and Miyamoto Ruri, they had been taken home by Kosaki's mother.

"M-Mom...what's with all these bags?"

"Hmmm?" said Nanako, humming a happy tune. "Ah that! Well, there was a good business opportunity, Kosaki! Ahaha, such good luck today~"

"Wow..." said Ruri, peeking into the bags. "This is all money..."

"That's right, Ruri-chan! We'll have the easy life for a while~"

"...Hmm? But these are 1000 Vietnamese dong bills..."

"Huh? What's that?"

As for Shu and his team-

"Good work today, you guys! And, since I made a good amount of money from my picture sales today, I'll be treating! Cheers!"

"Even though it's just Yoshinoya!"

Nevertheless, the group cheered and clinked their water glasses. At one corner, Nakano Shakai was in animate discussion with several of Shu's group over a couple photographs.

"I'm telling you, Nakano. You should join the Kirisaki Chitoge fanclub. She looks exactly like the Nonbeeri princess!"

"Hmm...I'm not seeing it. They don't look anything alike...I mean, look at the eyelashes! Kirisaki-san's eyebrows are dark, but Maruusha-san's is light!"

"He's right..."

"Holy crap. Maybe he really can start a Maruusha fanclub..."

And at a corner opposite of them-

"Haah..." said Girl A, poking at her beef bowl.

"Got rejected again?" said Boy A, adding pickled ginger into his bowl.

"I didn't! Jeez, stop saying that!"

"Well then, I guess it's back to square one," said Boy A, taking a bite of rice. "We should try a new plan."

"...Yeah? What's that?" said Girl A, sighing. "An eroge this time?"

"Nah, nothing like that. Let's go out this weekend."

"...Huh? Go out...?"

"Yeah. Hmm...maybe to Akiba."

"...When you say go out-"

"Mmhmm. Like a date. To Akiba."

"W-Why do I have to go on a date with you!?"

"To practice! Master's way too high-level for you right now..." said Boy A.

"Don't look at me like you're pitying me!"

"So we'll go during the weekend, ok? To Akiba."

"I-I don't have points on my card though..."

"That's what you're concerned about? Wait, what!? You have a point card!?"

As for Yamada and Satou-

"Hey #369. Where are you right now?" said Yamada, speaking into his cell phone.

"I'm...not really sure. I woke up in the middle of the street..."

"What? Well figure out where you are and we'll come pick you up. We've got some things to talk about."

"Huh? Like what?"

"You know about the Onodera Haru situation? I think I've got someone we could use..."

"Who?"

Yamada looked at the phone that he had filched from Onodera Nanako while she had been beating him up. Scrolling through the contacts casually, he responded with a grin. "Depends. You're good with housewives, right?"

Tachibana Marika and her attendant, Honda, headed home with her father. She had many plans to draw up now that the situation had changed...the Harem Plan would have to be reorganized...

As for Chitoge and Tsugumi, back at the Beehive mansion-

Chitoge was sprawled out on her bed, head hanging over the edge.

"Hey Tsugumi?"

"Yes, Ojou?"

"Only some people knew about that rumor for 'Netorare Neko-chan!', right? So, if the DVD wasn't about cute cats...then why were so many people after it?"

"...That is a good question, Ojou. Perhaps we should check on the Internet for more information about it."

"Ah! That's good! Let's go check it out right now!"

And what they saw that night was forever a mystery...

* * *

It was morning at the nearby Bonyari shrine. The reconstruction unit that had fixed up Bonyari High School after the invasion was now in the process of clearing and replanting the shrine grounds.

"This fulfills my end of the bargain, right?" said the labcoat girl, picking at her teeth with a nail.

"Well, it's looking better," said the priestess, nodding approvingly at the renovations. "And I take it that you understand it all now, baby?"

"Hmph. Compensating for the destruction of your shrine in return for a cheap explanation like that..." said the labcoat girl, simmering. "Don't you think it's a little unfair? You could've said something before I burned everything down, you know?"

"Would you have believed me?"

"Yes."

"Well..." said the priestess, clearing her throat. "That's beside the point. I'm just a medium, not a fortune-teller. I only had an inkling that it would happen this way."

"Hmph. Don't sell yourself short," said the labcoat girl. "You're saying a loophole like that was just an occurrence of random chance?"

The conditions of the deal made with "Netorare Neko-chan!".

That is, that the love of Onodera Kosaki's friends would come true in exchange for her "first love".

As a result, Onodera Kosaki's memories, emotions, and experiences that stemmed from her "first love" were taken away. The red string of fate that had created mutual love between her and Ichijou Raku had been cut.

And then, red strings of fate had been tied between Ichijou Raku and all of Onodera Kosaki's friends.

And it was there that the loophole was found.

Because Ichijou Raku had become Onodera Kosaki's friend-

Because Ichijou Raku had finally admitted and accepted his love for Onodera Kosaki-

A red string of fate had been tied between him and Onodera Kosaki. And once again, their lives had intertwined.

Meaning that nothing had changed at all.

"You're a scary one after all," said the labcoat girl. "So tell me. If you were afraid of the suffering that this DVD could cause, why did you keep it intact all these years? Why not destroy it?"

"I was intending to destroy it. But, even though the strings are tied, its end of the deal isn't finished until their loves come true."

"What do you mean? Didn't you say that it's been years since the DVD's been used...?"

"That's right. The strings that were tied today haven't been fulfilled yet. So they'll add up to the last one that was tied. That love too still isn't fulfilled yet..." said the priestess, grinning at her. "That one...tied to your finger."

"...Huh?"

"Hehehe...it looks like you've got more than your curse to worry about, baby," said the priestess, chuckling as she walked away.

"W-What...?" A hot blush started to creep its way up the labcoat girl's face. She looked down at her trembling little finger. A r-red string of fate? Tied to her!?

"D-Don't...mess with me, you damn hag!"

* * *

On her first day at Bonyari High School-

The scent of spring fresh in the air-

Breathing it in and stepping lightly through the doors-

Onodera Kosaki turned at the call of her name. Smiled with a content, cheerful expression. And said as usual-

"Good morning, Ichijou-kun."

A year of memories. A year of experiences. A year of emotions.

Packed together, into her heart-

Her friends. Her family. Her love.

Holding hands with him now-

A little more than a year after-

They were standing at the doors to their school again.

"L-Let's have a good day today too...Onodera."

"Y-Yes. Ichijou-kun."

They smiled at each other, their fingers just lightly brushing, close enough to know that they were there, close enough that perhaps...someday...they'd be held together with something more than an invisible string.

"Kosaki-chan! Rakuu!"

From inside the school, their friends waving at them-

And they shared a look with each other. Knew what each other was thinking and simply turned forward again.

Maybe someday...they'd be able to give voice to those words.

But for now...just for now...

They would simply say-

* * *

**Hello Again**

**Bonus Arc**

**Netorare Kosaki-chan!**

**END**

* * *

**Afterword**

_And so, that brings us to the end of this Bonus Arc, Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!. There are many things I want to say about this arc, but I'll just try and stick to the main points.  
_

_To begin with, this arc was originally intended to be just a few chapters long! The initial premise, which was that Kosaki and Ruri would watch a porno, didn't even have Tsugumi or Chitoge included at all! It was to be similar to the special "erotic" chapter, where Kosaki and Ruri would have agonizingly inched their way into the world of adults. _

_However, after finishing the Haru bonus arc, I wanted to do something with a little more meat to it. Hence the scavenger hunt for the porno! The new premise was to have a crazy competition between various groups of Nisekoi characters! And so, Shu and his team was formed, including a romantic subplot with Girl A. _

_But, as the plot continued, the pages lengthened. And I started realizing that properly fleshing out all of the teams and the various conflicts going on would make this bonus arc way too damn long. Even longer than the main plot! So I realized that I had to downsize. A lot of plot points were simplified and most of the subplots were discarded, making things bumpy once more...But nevertheless, the intent was to narrow down on the final conflict._

_The Kosaki dilemma. I've always felt that Kosaki and Raku are mirror images of each other, with gender traits added on. Reading chapters where those two spend time together alone and you'll see tons of copycat dialogue and thought processes. The conflict that popped up because of the harem situation interested me. Both Raku and Kosaki are definitely people that would sacrifice themselves for the sake of their friends. But what happens when the similar intentions of these two collide?_

_Whereas we could see the main plot being a "Chitoge-driven" story, this was definitely a "Kosaki-driven" story. And because Kosaki's actions and personality are so influenced by her feelings for Raku, there was already a conflict naturally brewing there. That is, Kosaki's romantic feelings, something inherently selfish, and that of her kindness. My intention here was to achieve synthesis, taking come from this conflict and deriving the answer that we have yet to see in the actual series and that was dodged in the main plot. While some may say that this ultimately means Kosaki is the winner, my own interpretation of this answer, summarized, is that "The race has just begun."  
_

_As for inconsistencies with the "past" spoken of in the Haru bonus arc...the feelings and conflicts in this arc were really supposed to be during a summer vacation arc...but I guess that's caput now. ( __(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ swimsuits!)._

_Lastly, on the topic of Yui. Looking back at this fic, which is supposedly supposed to have showcased all of the girls in equal treatment..._

_Yui really hasn't made much of an appearance, has she? Or even much of an impact. I wondered why I seemed unconsciously reluctant to get Yui involved in any of these events and I think it's because of her role as a teacher, rather than a student or classmate. It's just much easier and more natural to keep her left out of the main loop...Sorry for all the Yui fans out there..._

_Anyways, moving onto more important things~_

_For all those that reviewed and read up until now, thank you again! Especially for those who have consistently kept up with each chapter (you know who you are __＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／ ), I hope you've been kept entertained. I'm also sorry for misleading you sometimes (not really). I also think that this fanfic is now the longest Nisekoi fanfic on the site (although I don't think it will be for long...). Sorry I've bloated this community with so many useless puns!  
_

_As for those that favorited and alerted, I'm honored to be on your list! And for my fellow authors in the community, let's write more together! Like an RPG party! I'll bring the EXP pots._

* * *

**_Random Stuff  
_**

_Some interesting stats about the fic so far!  
_

_The longest arc by chapter for "The Plan" is the first arc, "Bonyari Invasion," with 18 chapters total. "Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!" comes at a second by chapter count with 17 chapters total._

_"Bonyari Invasion" has **49,607 words** while "Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!" has **76,807 words,** give or take due to horizontal lines and special characters. The other bonus arc, "Haru's Christmas" has **16,382 words.**_

_Based off a word counter tool online, the most frequent significant word in "Bonyari Invasion" is **her** followed by **said,** **Raku,** and **Chitoge.** For "Hot! Steamy! Kosaki-chan!" it is **said, her, Kosaki,** and **Raku. Like** was also a very common word. For "Haru's Christmas" it is **Haru, her, Yamada,** and **said. **Estimated reading level for this story is 9-10th grade._

_"The Plan" has so far been written in Microsoft WordPad 1999 with spell-check and editing in FF editor.  
_

_Lastly, the combined file sizes in .RTF format for "The Plan" is 980KB on disc._


	45. Bonus Arc - Magical Night 1

A crunch on frozen grass.

A solid thump on worn stone.

Instead of the usual labcoat, it was the ends of a cream-colored coat that bounced lightly to her pace. Underneath the open collar, there was a soft pink sweater peeking out, wrinkled and faded enough to suggest that it was casualwear that had been hastily selected.

Back and forth. Her boots continued tapping from the stone pathway to the weeds that grew on the side.

At that moment, a figure that could only be described as a little girl was shivering pitifully in the middle of Bonyari Shrine.

"Hey granny! I finally give myself a day-off and you call me over here so I can freeze outside!?"

Her indignation came out as a puff of white mist that passed through chattering teeth. Just a few moments ago, she had gotten a call from the head priestess of this shrine. There had been no reason or explanation, just a hurried request for her to come down as soon as possible. But having finally arrived at the shrine, there was no sight of the old hag.

"I can't believe this...making me play hide-and-seek. What is she, trying to relive her youth?"

The little girl muttered darkly to herself as she continued searching the shrine grounds. Normally, this kind of thing wouldn't really concern her. After all, it wasn't like she was some impatient brat. Waiting wasn't something that bothered her and in fact, was usually her default response to these situations. Why bother wasting energy when you could just sit back and take a na—enjoy nature and contemplate the meaning of life and stuff?

But there were several factors today that contributed to her more active approach.

First was that it was cold.

Second was that it was cold.

Actually, it was pretty much all because it was cold!

You could even say that she wasn't actually searching for the sake of searching, but just to generate more body heat. Her limbs were already rattling so much that it was throwing off her footing. If she could spot a single warm spot in this godforsaken shrine, then she'd be more than happy to plop down and forget about the hag.

"Granny! Hey granny! For crying out loud, would you stop messing around and come out already!"

She shouted with as much volume as she could muster. Her voice echoed in the quiet, empty shrine.

There was nobody around. The administrative office wasn't even open. Even the sounds of wildlife had been completely absent on her way up the steps.

...

The little girl exhaled deeply. Her hand slowly formed a fist as her body tensed up.

Of course. The signs had been there from the start. That priestess wasn't just someone who cleaned up and managed the shrine. She was a powerful medium that had generations of reputation confirming her abilities.

For someone like her to be late to a meeting that she herself had initiated...

"Are you the one that was called by the priestess?"

No, rather than the priestess being late—

It was that the climax had already started.

"So, it's you, huh?" said the little girl, turning to the source of the voice. "You're the one that set up this trap—"

Frozen.

Whereas her body had been on the brink of freezing this entire time, it was her mind that froze first upon seeing the face of her enemy.

_That..._

_That can't be..._

A bead of sweat appearing in this weather was out-of-place. But so was the presence of the person before her.

A person that she had just confirmed the location of before arriving at the shrine.

A person that didn't have any possible means of reaching this location in the span of time that had passed.

So the cold sweat continued to trickle down the side of the little girl's face. A drop of unease washing over her skin.

"Who the hell are you...?"

"Please. We don't have much time. I need you to lend me your strength."

Until then, the possibility hadn't occurred to her. In the months that had passed since the last incident at this shrine, things had been relatively peaceful. There had been no hint that anything was going to happen, that some sort of calamity would strike or some kind of villain would appear.

Perhaps that was why the little girl suddenly felt overwhelmed with dread. Was so shaken that she couldn't even think of a response.

Because whatever this entity was—

Whatever problem this entity was about to reveal to her—

It had slipped into Bonyari right under her nose.

* * *

**Bonus Arc ****— Magical Night**

**And the Snow has Yet to Melt  
**

_Part One_

* * *

"Sorry Onee-chan...I can't. I...I'm going to be doing something with Fuu-chan for Christmas."

"Oh, I see. You already have plans then..."

"I'm really sorry, Onee-chan."

"No, I understand, Haru. Chitoge-chan was hoping you'd come, but I'll tell her that you're busy today."

"Thanks...Don't worry about me and have fun at the party, okay?"

"Yeah. I hope you have a good time with Fuu-chan, Haru. I'll see you later then, alright?"

"Say hi to Kirisaki-senpai for me."

And so, the conversation between the two Onodera sisters ended with a curt click. Having heard snatches of her best friend's replies, Miyamoto Ruri was fairly certain of how the invitation had gone.

"So, she can't come then?"

"Yeah...it seems she's going to be with Fuu-chan for Christmas."

"I guess it can't be helped. Chitoge-chan will be disappointed, but it was short notice after all. It is Christmas, so of course_ some_ people would have plans—"

Onodera Kosaki jumped a little at the intensity that had leaked out of her friend. She didn't dare cross eyes with her, knowing that she was being targeted right now by a sharp, intimidating glare.

It was Christmas Eve in Bonyari that day. Even though it was early evening, the streets were already filled with couples laughing and tugging at each other as they sauntered under the sparkling lights. Others were hurrying to purchase last-minute gifts for their friends and family, sometimes stopping for a moment to take a flier from a Santa part-timer.

For Kirisaki Chitoge, it was the time of the year when her mother, Kirisaki Hana, would be returning home for a break from her busy schedule. With her mother being the CEO for one of the largest corporations in the world, it wasn't often that Chitoge had a chance to spend some quality time with her mother. Having reconnected with her last year due to a certain nosy beansprout's help, Chitoge had been looking forward to her mother's annual Christmas visit.

However, this year it seemed that business demands would delay Kirisaki Hana's visit until New Year's. Even without her mother's sincere apologies, Kirisaki Chitoge understood that these kinds of situations happened. It was not deliberate or malicious on anyone's part, just a case of bad timing.

Still, the Kirisaki household had already made preparations for Hana's arrival. With the usual Beehive zeal, the entire mansion had been decked out with food, decorations, and entertainment. Unfortunately, it looked as if those extravagant arrangements would be going to waste this year.

That is, until a proposal had been made by one Maiko Shu...

"Honestly, that Maiko...how arrogant can you get, trying to host a Christmas party at someone else's home?"

"Ahaha...well, Chitoge really liked the idea. And she invited everyone from class too, so I'm sure we'll all have a lot of fun together. I think that's what Maiko-kun was hoping for when he said that..."

"Hmph, hardly. I bet he and his goons just wanted a chance to play around with girls on Christmas..."

Having made that scathing reply with such confidence, Miyamoto Ruri pulled her scarf up a little, allowing her breath to reflect back and warm her cold face. As usual, she made no effort to hide her harsh opinion of Maiko Shu. It was no secret that Miyamoto Ruri saw him as nothing more than a perverted scumbag that wasted this planet's precious air supply, not to mention time and space.

But as normal as this sort of response was from her best friend, Kosaki couldn't help but think that it was a little different this time. Rather than twitching with irritation, Miyamoto Ruri's expression was flat, as if it was not a negative trait, but just an accepted fact about Maiko Shu that she was stating.

"What is it?"

Ruri questioned her friend's warm expression with an edge of suspicion.

"Nothing. I mean...I was just thinking that you and Maiko-kun have been getting along well lately—"

**"What."**

Again, a reply with a flat expression. But for some reason, Kosaki's entire body started to quiver.

"Ah...I mean...that's just what it seemed like..."

**"Seemed like, you say?"**

E-Eh? What was this? Why did things seem to be getting worse now?

"Y-Yeah. Because...you know! You guys are glasses buddies or something, right?"

A crack.

It as if a fissure had suddenly formed, shaking the ground underneath her. Kosaki was forced to a halt, partially because Ruri had stopped moving, and partially because of the oppressive atmosphere that had wrapped around her in a threatening ring.

"Kosaki..."

Was there regret in Onodera Kosaki's heart? That was something only an idiot would ask. Kosaki was currently overflowing with the emotion.

"This talk we're having...**let's stop, okay?**"

"Y-Yeah...okay..."

Little by little, the relentless pressure that had been creeping over Onodera Kosaki began to retreat. Miyamoto Ruri let out a short exasperated sigh and began walking again.

"Instead of that useless bastard, isn't there something more important you want to talk about, Kosaki?"

Still disorientated by the frightening pressure that she had just felt, it took Kosaki several seconds to process what her friend had asked.

"Huh...? Like what?"

"About the situation you've put yourself in right now."

What exactly was her best friend getting at? Onodera Kosaki wasn't quite sure, so her recovering brain started sprinting to figure out what was going on.

Once Shu had finished relaying all the necessary details to Chitoge, both Ruri and Kosaki had been promptly invited to attend the party. Since the two of them hadn't made any plans for Christmas, there wasn't any reason to decline, and besides, it was great that they could spend Christmas together with all their friends.

So Ruri and Kosaki had gone to the shopping district to find some gifts for the gift exchange that would be happening at the party. In the process, they had also made some last-minute changes on their outfits after seeing some great sales.

_...Was that what she meant?_

While at the store, Kosaki had picked a black one-piece dress with a rounded white collar and ribbon. Not too prim, but not childish either. She had thought it was a good choice since the party was informal, but still being hosted at a mansion. Perhaps Ruri wasn't satisfied with what she was wearing...

No, it couldn't be that. Otherwise, Ruri would've just commented on it earlier.

Then perhaps the gift that she had bought? But it was such a cute dog...you could even put your hand inside and make him talk like bow-wow, bow-wow—

...

A sudden chill down her spine.

Even though the temperature was low enough that the two girls had wrapped themselves up snugly with coats, scarves, and hats, Onodera Kosaki's skin began to expel moisture at an alarming rate. Her throat dried up and she suddenly found an intense interest in how her boots looked at the moment.

"Kosaki. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

Kosaki began walking faster. It wasn't a conscious effort, but the natural instinct of a harmless critter when faced with a merciless predator.

"W-What do you mean, Ruri-chan? W-We're just going to a Christmas party at Chitoge-chan's house, right? W-What is there that we would possibly need to talk kaboot—"

A cute squeak leaked out of Onodera Kosaki as her face scrunched up and her hands pressed against her mouth.

She had just bitten her tongue...

"Oh? It doesn't seem like nothing—"

Ruri chased after her friend with a furious walking pace that turned her legs into a blur.

"Ifh huttin, ifh huthing! Ee hon't hafe hoo halk ahout hanytheen!"

Kosaki ran away while clinging to her throbbing tongue.

"Kosaki!"

"Hhy woo we hafe hoo halk ahout his anwhay, Huhi-han!?"

"So you do know what I mean then!"

"!"

The cat was out of the bag. There was no choice now. Kosaki would have to take drastic measures—

"A-Ahh! Ruri-chan, it looks like I'm getting a phone call! I'm really sorry, but it looks important so we'll have to talk about this later—"

**"We can talk about it now."**

E...Eh?

The phone that Kosaki had just put to her ear so that she could pretend to answer—

W...Why was Ruri's voice on the other end...

"You're a good friend Kosaki, answering so quickly."

"Y-Yeah..."

Onodera Kosaki's phone dropped down feebly to her side. She had been cornered effortlessly. Her best friend knew her too well...

And so, the incident ended with unconditional surrender.

* * *

Towards the end of their second-year, a crisis had happened in Bonyari that had nearly ended the world.

That crisis had been the "Netorare Neko-chan!" incident. And that world had been the everyday lives of Ichijou Raku and his friends.

But even though Bonyari had been plunged into chaos, with droves of mobsters, gangsters, and hunters fighting to claim a legendary porno—

Even though the Onodera Kosaki of this world had given up her "first love" and nearly disappeared from existence—

And yes, even though Onodera Kosaki and Ichijou Raku had finally confessed their true feelings for each other in front of all their friends—

Nothing had changed.

Ichijou Raku and his friends had finished their second year, started their third year, enjoyed their summer break, and were now entering their winter break—

With no difference at all.

To the rest of the school, Ichijou Raku and Kirisaki Chitoge were still dating. Tachibana Marika still professed her love for Raku daily. Tsugumi Seishirou still stood by Chitoge's side and berated Tachibana Marika. Kanakura Yui still taught their homeroom class. Maiko Shu and Miyamoto Ruri still fought, Onodera Haru still wondered why her best friend Fuu-chan wanted to take so many photos of her, and Paula McCoy still threw a tantrum over candy.

It was true though that to stop Chitoge's move, the Beehive members had promised to keep peace with the Shuei-gumi. And the Bonyari shrine _had_ been burnt down and rebuilt...along with Bonyari High School...

But the fundamental stuff hadn't changed. In fact, it was like a miracle how much things had stayed the same with everyone preparing to go down their own paths come graduation. For some, like the "Shield of False Love" organization, this was a good thing. It meant that things were going well and that serialization didn't seem to be in any danger of ending soon.

But for others like Kirisaki Chitoge—

_"WHY HAVEN'T YOU ASKED KOSAKI-CHAN OUT YET, YOU STUPID BEANSPROUT!?"_

The question resounded in Ichijou Raku's mind as he walked down the streets leading to Chitoge's mansion. It was a question that he had been asked before...by others and even by himself. It had been almost rhetorical then...because he had to continue the fake relationship with Chitoge, because he hadn't steeled his heart for it, because he was afraid that Kosaki might not feel the same way—

But now—

Now...

"Why can't I do it...?"

With his hands shoved into his pockets and chin tucked warmly into his scarf, Raku reviewed the situation.

It was true that he and Chitoge were still fake lovers. But the threat behind it, the fact that the Beehive and Shuei-gumi would go to war if it was revealed that they had been pretending, no longer existed because of the promise the Beehive had made. And while his schoolmates would probably make some gossip, as long as the situation was explained...or maybe even it wasn't explained, things would blow over...

He had already confessed his feelings to Kosaki. Chosen her in front of all the others, made it an absolute decision. S-Sure it hadn't been sealed with a k-kiss or anything, but...but that wasn't even necessary for starting a relationship, right!? That was the kind of thing you did _after_, wasn't it!?

And Kosaki had chosen him back. Had confessed her feelings again and made a resolution to stay with Raku, to fight for him even against Marika. Raku felt truly blessed, to have heard words like that from the one he had loved since middle school...

So why, then?

Why had they gone back to school the next day and returned to their usual daily lives?

Why did they still refer to each other on a last-name basis?

Why was he going on more dates with Chitoge than the actual girl he loved!?

_Ghhh..._

That last one especially was kicking him hard. Maybe he had just assumed that confessing and confirming their feelings was enough. That they'd naturally fall into a relationship like how they had naturally become friends.

But that's all they were right now...

Just friends...

"You still haven't asked Onodera out?"

Even his best friend, Maiko Shu, had asked him about it.

"No...I haven't."

"Hey, hey Raku...it's been over half a year, you know?"

"I know...I get that, but—"

A situation so ridiculous that Raku couldn't even think of a reason to justify it. He groaned and wilted over the rails on their usual meeting spot, the school's roof.

"I love Onodera...and I know that she loves me back. But when I try to make it official, I just..."

Not the right time or something?

That was the feeling he kept getting. But that didn't make sense! Everything was lined up! This was the kind of scenario that he had only dreamed about! Not being able to find the right time over the past year wasn't a problem, it was a tragedy!

"Is there something wrong with me...?"

"I don't know. Maybe you've got some post-confession jitters. Like you've liked her for so long that it doesn't feel real or something?"

"Well, it does feel like that, but I'm pretty sure that's not it..." said Raku with a short chuckle. Because there had been plenty of time for him to accept reality. Although he had only confessed to Kosaki during the "Netorare Neko-chan!" incident, Kosaki had confessed to him weeks before that. In fact, all of the girls had confessed to him, so he knew that he had been considering things seriously when he gave her his answer.

"Maybe it just wasn't the right time for you to confess then."

"Huh? What are you saying?"

"I mean, the only reason you confessed to Onodera was because you thought she was going to disappear, wasn't it? If that whole thing with 'Netorare Neko-chan!' hadn't happened, you probably wouldn't have confessed that day, right?"

"That's...true. But that shouldn't matter, should it? Since I was going to confess to her anyways..."

"I wonder about that...did you really want to _confess_ to Onodera?"

"That again...what are you trying to get at, Shu?"

"Just...maybe confessing wasn't really what you were going for."

Raku didn't understand what his friend meant. They both knew that he had been harboring feelings for Kosaki for a long time. And now they knew that Kosaki had been holding those very same feelings for Raku.

So wasn't confirming those feelings and getting together just...the way it should've gone? Even if it hadn't been exactly as planned, the end result was what mattered, right?

"Is that how it is?"

Shu murmured mysteriously as he smiled at the sky above them. He didn't say anything for a few moments, as if his next words were difficult to form.

"Say Raku...do you mind if I talk about myself for a little bit?"

"H...Huh?"

This was a surprise, and not just because the suggestion had come out suddenly. Even though they had been best friends since childhood, it was rare to hear Shu freely share personal things about himself. He was always helping Raku out when he needed it, but Raku felt like he was never exactly sure what was going on with Shu. "Yeah...go ahead, man."

"Do you remember that day when Kyoko-chan retired from teaching?"

"Of course. Since it was Kyoko-sensei, I can't forget..."

"And you gave me a good kick in the ass right here too."

"Yeah...sorry about that. I guess I did step over the line that time?"

"Nah. I'm glad you did that back then...since I would've regretted it if you hadn't."

The announcement of their homeroom teacher's marriage.

The feelings of Maiko Shu's unrequited love.

Underneath the rain at the boarding stop, facing her as she was about to leave with the taxi—

"I'm glad I was able to meet her then. Even if I couldn't tell her any of the things I wanted to say...even if I still can't be sure that my feelings got across to her..."

There was no other way that things could have gone for Maiko Shu. Because it wouldn't have mattered in the end. It hadn't been a forced marriage or anything, but one that Kyoko had sought for herself, for her own happiness.

A storybook love.

A bitter failed love.

It hadn't been any of those things. The two of them had just been players coincidentally acting on the same stage, but doing nothing more than passing each other by under the spotlight.

"I still think that it was for the best. That ending it like that...was how it should've been. Since anything more would've been..."

Shu trailed off and finished with another smile. Perhaps he didn't exactly know what he meant himself. Or perhaps he thought that even for Raku, the meaning should've been obvious.

Whatever the intent behind it, Shu's words had remained clear in Raku's mind, even months after the conversation. For some reason, they stuck to him...as if it was the piece to something he was missing...

_Anything more...huh?_

Being in love with Kosaki—

Having Kosaki love him back—

That was...what he had always wanted, right?

The outcome that he had been working for, struggling for, worrying for all this time...

But when it had finally appeared before him—

When Onodera Kosaki had hugged him from behind, confessing her true feelings—

Happiness. He had felt such happiness that he couldn't believe he was alive.

But even with that happiness—

Even with his dream right at the edge of his fingertips—

He hadn't taken it.

He hadn't confessed back to Kosaki then. He had avoided a reply, avoided...making things clear.

Just like now. Just like he had always been doing.

But...why?

What was he so afraid of...?

What was holding him back?

Those were the thoughts that had been plaguing Ichijou Raku since turning into a third-year. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't think of an answer. And he couldn't muster the willpower to move forward without knowing. It was an insurmountable wall, a barrier that was like a force of nature. And at the root of it, fear! Fear of making a mistake that warped into doubt. Fear of losing something that warped into caution. Scared! In the end, Ichijou Raku was just a big scaredy-cat—!

"GAHH! What the hell is wrong with me!?"

At one end of the street leading to Kirisaki Chitoge's home, Ichijou Raku furiously scratching at his hair and shouting in frustration.

On the other end of the street, the continuing conversation between Kosaki and Ruri.

"I can't believe you, Kosaki. The feelings you've had all this time were finally answered, but you spend half of your third-year just pretending like it never happened!"

"T-That's...I'm not ignoring it. It's just kind of hard when Ichijou-kun and Chitoge-chan are still pretending to date—"

"And _that_! You still can't call Ichijou-kun by his given name! Even if you _didn't_ like each other, you guys are close enough that it shouldn't matter. Why can't you even do a simple thing like that!?"

"T-That's because...it's embarrassing..."

_**HUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH!?**_

Miyamoto Ruri's head dropped a full 90 degrees to one side, every line in her face reeking exasperation.

"R-Ruri-chan...the way you're looking at me hurts..."

"Honestly, do you know what the real problem here is? Your attitude, Kosaki! If you were really serious about this, then you'd have already made plans with your man for Christmas Eve instead of just sitting at home and getting fat from eating sweets—"

"I-I'm not getting fat!"

Back to Ichijou Raku who had decided to just put all these thoughts away and get to Chitoge's party.

"That's right...I'm thinking too much about this. I haven't asked Onodera out officially yet because it's not the right time. Yeah...I still have something to do before that. I don't know what it is, but it's better if I figure it out first instead of regretting it later."

Slow and steady. That was how a real relationship was supposed to be anyways, right? Besides, it wasn't like he was that close to Kosaki yet. Wouldn't it actually put her off if he started coming onto her aggressively just because they were in love with each other? There were still lines he couldn't cross and things that they had to prepare themselves for—

_Yeah...there's no hurry. I mean...we love each other. That's what's important, right? As long as we love each other, we don't need to go on dates or hold hands or talk to each other deep into the night—_

Raku slumped lifelessly against the wall. What had he been doing all this time...? He was just wasting his life...

Not to mention that it was unfair for Kosaki. After all, she had been holding feelings for him all this time too. Maybe she wanted to do those lovey-dovey things as much as he did. Wasn't it cruel to make her hold back for something he didn't even understand?

_What if...Onodera gets tired of me..._

What if, even before they started going out, Kosaki's feelings for him started to fade away...

_NOOOO!_

_WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!?_

He couldn't let this happen. He had to do something. Even if he didn't feel right about it, he had to do something to put his heart at ease. To put Kosaki's heart at ease! For the sake of their happy future together!

"But Raku-sama, the answer is already there...inside of you."

_H...Huh?_

_That voice..._

Raku turned to the speaker of those words, the figure standing on his left shoulder.

"It's obvious whachu gotta do, Rakkun! Yer body already knows what it really wants!"

The same voice again, this time from his right shoulder.

What...

A shoulder angel and devil...?

Why would they even appear in a situation like this...?

"Or actually...why are you both Tachibana!?"

"Lissen up, Rakkun. Dat Onodera gurl dun understand who you really are. You think you can let loose yer inner animal with dat kinda gurl? Norway! You wouldn't even get past her knee socks, you know that? Whachu need is a real woman, someone thas ready to let you sink inta some real meat when it's fresh and rarin' ta go!"

"Raku-sama, you have to be careful with Onodera-san. She's a fragile and delicate girl while you're a masculine ladykiller. It's only inevitable that she won't be able to handle your overwhelming manliness, so you should be kind to her and let her down easy for a more suitable partner..."

"Aren't you two supposed to be _helping _me fix my relationship with Onodera!?"

A few meters away, the voices of Ruri and Kosaki—

"Do you understand, Kosaki? Ichijou-kun is YOUR man now. It's your job as the girlfriend to keep your man in line! You have to take action and lead this relationship!"

"E-Ehh? D-Do I really have to do that? Shouldn't we just...take it slow...get to know each other more..."

"My god, this girl is hopeless...I need to do something quickly—"

"Listen, Raku-sama. Haven't you heard of the saying 'she who interferes with someone's romance needs to be kicked to death by a horse?'"

"Aren't you supposed to be the Angel Marika!?"

"Kosaki, do you actually still _love_ Ichijou-kun? Because it's starting to seem like you don't really care about having a relationship with him—"

"I do love him, Ruri-chan! I do, but I just think that the way things are right now isn't too bad—"

"Ah'm tellin' you Rakkun, you need ta ferget 'bout yer troubles with dat gurl or else you'll never move on—"

"Why are you referring to Onodera like she's a clingy ex!"

"Really, Kosaki? Are you REALLY sure that you love him?"

"But Raku-sama, what else would you call this desperate girl that you have no intention of forming a relationship with—"

"Like I said, Ruri-chan—!"

"Look, I'm telling you that's not what it's like—!"

In front of the gates to the Beehive mansion—

On one side, Onodera Kosaki hurrying forward as she tried to convince her best friend—

On the other side, Ichijou Raku who was arguing with his shoulders—

"I—"

"Love—"

As the two gathered their voices to shout their final word on the matter—

Their eyes met. Their feet stopped as their faces came to a halt just inches away from each other.

"I-Ichijou-kun..."

"O...Onodera..."

Nothing else escaped past their lips. Their valiant declarations shriveled up in their throats and their minds became completely blank.

"Hold me back, Mari! Hold me back! Yer lucky dat dis goodie-two-shoes is stopping me!"

"MOVE RAKU-SAMA, ELSE I CAN'T KILL THIS GIRL!"

The two mini Marikas chattered away on his shoulders. But Raku couldn't hear them at all. He didn't even know what to think right now. Wait, who was this 'Raku' guy?

_This is hard to watch..._

It took all of Ruri's willpower to resist facepalming. Even when they weren't near each other, their feelings were synced up to this level. What was the deal, why couldn't they just make the final leap already?

Irritating.

It was vexing.

But...

Ruri sighed. In the end, this was what her friends were like. Maybe she had expected too much. Just because they had finally found out about each others' feelings didn't mean they'd changed.

And to be honest...

Maybe that was how things were supposed to be.

"Nice to see you, Ichijou-kun. Kosaki, I'll be going ahead, okay?"

"Wait, Ruri-cha—"

Kosaki's rejections were completely drowned out by the lightning that sparked from Miyamoto Ruri's back.

_Uu...that's cold, Ruri-chan..._

"O-Onodera..."

A few seconds after Ruri's departure, Raku tried to get control of the conversation again. He swatted away the mini Marikas and tried to think of something to say.

"S-So...you guys came pretty early..."

"Y-Yeah...Ruri-chan and I were shopping for our gifts, but we finished sooner than we expected so..."

...

Raku coughed and scratched his head.

Kosaki looked down at her feet and fiddled with the strap on her bag.

_Crap...the mood is so awkward right now..._

_W-What should I do...? I don't know what to say to Ichijou-kun..._

The silence stretched on. By now, Miyamoto Ruri had probably already reached the mansion's front door. Pretty soon, Chitoge and Tsugumi would come down, wondering why they were taking so long...

_Damn it..._

_Why can't I ever get things to go smoothly...?_

_...No._

_That's wrong..._

_This time...it's different..._

It was not like the fumbling silences that they usually had. The moments when they had been cautious about revealing their feelings, lacking the confidence to show even a hint of the truth.

At least...for Raku, it wasn't anymore...

Raku knew what he was struggling with. Even though Kosaki couldn't have possibly heard any of his previous thoughts. Even though bringing up this topic right before they were about to attend a Christmas party was the worst timing anyone could imagine—

He wanted to talk about it. He wanted to clear things up.

It felt like he owed Kosaki an explanation.

Not just for why he had blurted out his feelings for her in the middle of the street, but also the reason why...

Why he hadn't fully responded to her feelings...

Why he hadn't...taken responsibility...

Had kept her waiting all this time...

But he still didn't know the answer. He still didn't know what he was supposed to say.

He looked up at Kosaki. Saw her warm eyes slowly meet his, the connection sending a jolt through his heart.

This was the person he loved.

This was the person he had been in love with all this time.

That much, he was sure of. At least that was one thing that he knew without a single doubt.

"Kosaki."

"H-Huh? Yeah...what is it, Ichijou-kun?"

"I...I love you."

"E-Ehh!? I-Ichijou-kun, w-wh-what are you saying so suddenly..."

Kosaki's hands went up to hide her crimson face. A sneak attack that she hadn't been ready for. Her heart had taken so much damage from that out-of-the-blue bullseye.

"M...me too. I love you too, Ichijou-kun..."

She said it again. No matter how many times she said it, it felt like a dream.

Raku grabbed her hand. Held it tightly between his fingers.

"Sorry. I'm sorry, Onodera. I know it's weird...that I haven't done anything to prove I mean it...but—"

Shu's words flashed through his mind again. Shu hadn't been able to say anything back then. Because he hadn't known what to say. He had nothing he could say. But he had still ran out there. Still met the person he had loved so that something could be conveyed—

The part that was important.

"I love you, Kosaki. No matter what I do or...what I don't do, you can always believe that part about me."

"Yeah. I know."

She smiled and squeezed his hand back. And then, as the sound of footsteps from the street reached their ears, their hands separated.

Not now...

He couldn't right now.

But someday...no matter what...

"Oh, Chitoge-chan is waving at us. Shall we get going?"

"Ah..."

"Hm? What's wrong?"

"I forgot to buy a gift..."

* * *

The night of Christmas Eve in Bonyari.

Underneath the darkening sky, the lights glimmered into life. According to the weather, it looked like they would be facing a White Christmas this year.

In the busy Bonyari shopping district, Maiko Shu was tagging along with some classmates to make preparations for the Christmas party.

"I told you guys...there's nothing better to get for a party than a King Game set."

"You're kidding me. You might as well paste a sign on your head that says desperate. We finally get a chance to hang out with the girls, at Kirisaki-san's place during Christmas no less, and that's how you want your first impression to be? What you really need to get are these whiskey bonbons—"

"Oh, you're right. Look at these! It says the taste is so smooth that they won't even notice...we could repackage them in some plastic bags and share them out—"

"Wow...even as a fellow guy, the creep factor here is like over nine thousand."

"Maiko, you brought your camera, right? You better not let us down with the Christmas album!"

"What are you saying? Taking candid photos of everyone during a Christmas party...that would just be rude, wouldn't it?"

"Huh!?"

"That's right...after all, this is going to be the last Christmas we'll all have as classmates...even the girls are really like comrades to us, you know?"

"Maiko...have you gone insane?"

"You guys just don't get it, huh...? It's at times like these that we have to show proper dignity as men that are living at the height of their youth. Capturing such a moment in a single photograph...that just won't do it justice," said Shu, raising up a 4K UHD camcorder.

"Holy crap, you're bringing out the big guns for this!"

"ALRIGHHTT! Maiko, just you watch! I'm definitely going to get someone under this mistletoe this year, so you better document every second of it!"

"Don't do it, Maiko. He won't be able to survive the rest of the year if you record him kissing a dude."

"Shut up!"

They all laughed as they moved out of the store and into the street. In every direction, you could see the crowds merging into each other, like ebbs and waves from the sea. Christmas-themed music was playing from nearby stores and the walls were dotted with colorful decorations and signs.

"Man...over here and over there, everywhere you look is just couples, couples, couples..."

"Come on, don't worry about that. Look at it this way, we're going to a Christmas party, guys! And since all the couples are out here, everyone at the party is going to be single for sure!"

"Well, it's not like it matters for you since all the girls think you're weird already."

"W-What. Are you for real? Why!?"

"Ahh...what the heck is with our school? We've got beauties like Kirisaki-san and Onodera-san, not to mention even our teacher is beautiful, but they're all out of our league..."

"Onodera? You mean Tsugumi-san, right?"

"Wow, I knew you guys had terrible taste. The only cute one is Tachibana—"

"No, no it's gotta be Ayakaji-san—"

"That girl's not even in our year!"

"Hoho, you guys are really having fun today, h—Oh! Sorry!"

Shu stumbled back as he felt an impact on his shoulder. Turning around quickly to apologize, his eyes still nearly missed the figure that had already started melting into the crowd.

"Raku? Hey! Raku! Rakuu!"

"Ah? Ichijou?"

"Oh damn it. Ichijou is coming to the party, isn't he?"

"Relax, he's dating Kirisaki-san, isn't he?"

"That's...how it is, but that good-luck bastard still somehow manages to always hang around the 'Seven Heroines of Bonyari'..."

No answer. Shu blinked as the figure disappeared from view. He had yelled quite loudly...had it really not been Raku? But there was no way he could have mistaken him...

"Oh man! Look at the time! We're going to be late to the party."

"Why's it matter if we're late—"

"Are you kidding me? If we get there early, we have a chance to talk it up before things get too rowdy—"

"Hey, Maiko! Maiko, you coming?"

"Yeah..." said Shu, glancing back one last time. Even with his trained photographer's eye, he'd lost track of the person that looked so similar to his best friend...

It was as if that guy had vanished into thin air, like he had been nothing more than a shadow...

* * *

**A/N**

_The start of a new arc. I was actually working on another arc before this, but I don't think I'll have it finished for quite some time. I wanted to put together something for the holidays though, so this will be coming first! This arc is set at the same time as the _Haru's Christmas_ arc.  
_

_It's been a while since I last worked on this fic, so the Shu bonus chapter was quite sloppily done. In this chapter, I took more care in the continuity (both for this fic's canon and manga canon) so it is better to trust whatever happens in the arcs moreso than the bonus chapters. The manga has also made some big developments lately, but they likely won't be addressed in this arc (especially since it screws my own timeline!). Being honest, it was difficult getting back into the swing of things with this chapter, so I can't promise how consistent the updates will be. But I do hope to progress through the holiday season at least..._

_But in case I don't, I hope everyone has a good time during the holidays!  
_


	46. Bonus Arc - Magical Night 2

The familiar tune of the "Wedding March" being played by the pianist.

An outside ceremony, surrounded by full, blossoming trees and the clean scent of spring. The sun cast a healthy glow on the site, as if imparting its own blessing to the happy couple standing at the altar.

On one side, a handsome man dressed in a crisp, black suit and wearing a content smile.

On the other side, the unveiled bride, adorned beautifully in a white wedding dress, her silky blonde hair tied up elegantly to allow her pristine face to be in full view.

Before them, a congregation of their close friends and family, some beaming with pride and happiness, others wiping little tears from the corners of their eyes.

Looking out and seeing everyone important to her present for this special moment...

Kirisaki Chitoge felt a lump forming in her throat. She couldn't control the happiness that was fueling the loopy smile on her face.

Yes, that was exactly the word. Happiness.

All of these years that they had been together—

All of the experiences they had shared—

The feelings that had fought, cried, laughed, touched, comforted, supported—

The moments that had passed like a violent storm or lazily like a drifting cloud—

They streamed through Chitoge's mind. Overflowed inside her, stifling her nervousness with a flood of warmth and sweet calm.

Because it was finally _the_ moment.

No more preparing, no more worrying, no more thinking it over—

There was no going back. There was no reason to go back.

Because Kirisaki Chitoge was finally going to be married.

"Chitoge. Are you alright?"

A concerned whisper snuck past the minister as he started his speech to the audience. Chitoge looked into the eyes of the person standing across from her.

The man she loved.

"I'm fine. Why are you asking me that right now?"

"You looked like you were thinking hard about something."

"Isn't that obvious, considering the situation...?"

As the minister droned on between them, the two communicated with hushed whispers, their faces frozen into pleasant smiles.

"I get it. You're hungry, aren't you? We'll have the reception right after, so just endure it for a little longer, okay?"

"Hah!? What are you saying!? Why would that even be the first thing that comes to your mind!?"

"Because...I noticed that you skipped breakfast this morning. I know you must be in a lot of stress to skip a meal, but you really shouldn't have done that on an important day like this, who knows how it'll affect you—"

"Are you being serious right now? I didn't eat breakfast in consideration for _you_, you know!? Since we'll have to do _that_ soon...I brushed my teeth too, but you can't be quite sure..."

"Are you an idiot? Who thinks about that kind of stuff when they're getting married?"

"What is your problem!? You're always telling me that I should think more about my actions and now you're giving me an earful about this when we're standing at the altar—"

"That's my point! You weren't thinking. We both know someone like you can't possibly skip a meal—"

"I can skip a meal whenever I want! Who do you think you are, saying that I can't even do a simple thing like that—"

"Ehem!"

The furious back-and-forth was interrupted by a sound from the minister. Chitoge jumped as she realized that the audience had been listening intently to their conversation.

"S-Sorry..."

"Please continue..."

The minister raised an eyebrow, but smiled understandingly before continuing his speech. Chitoge straightened her posture and locked eyes again with the person across from her.

"Fucking beansprout."

"Crazy gorilla."

The conversation continued through their eyes.

_This is what pisses me off about you. You're always nitpicking on small things that don't even matter!_

_Maybe they'd matter if you didn't try and brute force your way through everything like an animal!_

_I really can't stand you!_

_That should be my line!_

The bright aura radiating around them was occasionally punctured by crackles of lightning. The minister finished his speech and glanced at the two to see if they were prepared.

_Alright. Let's get this over with. I don't even know why I'm going through this with you anymore._

_I agree completely. The sooner we get this done, the more relaxed I'll be._

The reveal of the rings. The minister decided to take this chance to extend his spiel as he offered the rings to the participants on either side of him.

_Seriously..._

Chitoge threw Raku a dirty look as she grabbed her ring.

_Do you really want to keep dwelling on this...?_

Raku returned her look with an exasperated sigh.

_Of course I do! You're irritating, you're so whiny, you're always acting like you have to take care of me_—

The minister began reciting the vows that they would have to repeat. The words reflected from Chitoge's mouth mechanically as she fiddled with the ring in her hand.

_But..._

Chitoge tentatively put out her hand towards Raku. He accepted it gently between his fingers and poised the ring over her fingertip.

His eyes lifted to meet hers. That clueless face...even after all these years, that part of him never changed.

Her hand trembled in his. But Raku kept the ring frozen in place. He didn't look at the audience or meet the minister's questioning stare.

Just at Chitoge. At this moment, because of this moment, he only looked at her.

_...As I thought, you're still the only person I want standing here with me._

A smile peeked from Chitoge's lips. Raku grinned back and finished sliding the ring onto Chitoge's finger. In the crowd, several started dabbing at their eyes as the ceremony drew closer to its climax.

The consent for marriage. The minister turned to Raku and asked him the question in a clear voice.

"I do."

Without any hesitation, Raku responded. He still held Chitoge's hand firmly in his. Hearing those words, feeling the encouraging squeeze in her fingers, Chitoge's own answer came just as promptly when she was asked.

"I do."

The minister nodded happily and declared to the audience that this couple would now be wed. A shifting in the seats as friends and family prepared for the final words. A slight disturbance as one silver-haired glasses bawled in the corner in objection.

But none of it mattered to Chitoge. Because right now, her attention was solely fixated on the person before her.

Waiting for _his_ answer.

"Sheesh...you know already, don't you?"

Holding her hand so intimately, but still managing to look sheepish. But it didn't take him long to recover and return her gaze.

"I feel the same way. Maybe things aren't perfect, but right now...I don't want to imagine anyone else being up here with you for this, Chitoge."

That was all she needed. The spark that lit her whole body into flame.

Eyes brimming with tears, she could only nod back in reply.

"Chitoge..."

He pulled her hand slightly and stepped forward. She tilted her head up and closed her eyes as they came closer, ready to signal the start of their new lives together—

"Hoo hoo hoo hoo."

A cloud of hot, putrid air. A huge, leathery face smirking at her like a suave, stoic gentleman.

_S-Shabani!?_

_Oh no, I got it wrong, haha..._

"WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS GORILLA!?"

Out of pure reflex, Chitoge jumped back with a shout at the enormous, well-dressed primate that had appeared in front of her.

"Hey, Chitoge! What are you doing? That's a pretty rude way to act in front of the groom!"

"HUH!? THE GROOM? What are you talking about!?"

"What...hey, hey Chitoge. Don't tell me you're still freaking out about the wedding? You already made it this far, you guys just have to kiss now—"

"Why do I have to kiss a gorilla!? Or more like, why is there a gorilla at my wedding in the first place!?"

"Come on, don't be so shy Chitoge," said Raku, patting the gorilla on the back. "You understand, don't you? She's just really nervous about this whole thing."

"Hoo hoo hoo."

_What the hell is going on...Raku is talking to that gorilla..._

"Anyways, don't worry about it! I've already stood in for all the human stuff, so now you can get married without worrying about issues between woman and animal," said Raku, giving her a big wink.

"Are you kidding me right now—!?"

"Raku honeey~"

"Eh?"

From the side came waltzing in a shining Onodera Kosaki.

"Ahh Kosaki! What are you doing here?"

"I came to pick you up."

"Oh, you didn't have to go through the trouble..."

"It's fine, honey~ I really wanted to be with you for every second today."

"Man...what am I going to do with you?"

Raku and Kosaki nuzzled noses as Chitoge stood there, her mouth gaping.

"Chitoge-chan! Congratulations! It's finally happening, huh?"

"Oh honey. They haven't gotten married yet."

"Ah! Sorry, did I interrupt?"

"It's fine. I finished up here, so we can go off now to our own wedding!"

_What._

_WHAT?_

_WHHAAATT!?_

"S-Sniff. I'm sorry, Raku. But just thinking about it right now is getting me so..."

"It's okay, Kosaki. It's fine to feel like that. After all, today's the beginning of our happy new lives together."

"Oh Raku!"

"Kosaki!"

"Hoo hoo hoo!"

Death.

At that moment, Kirisaki Chitoge felt like her soul was escaping from her lifeless body.

"Now, Chitoge! This is your chance!" said Raku, whisking his arm out towards the bride. "Yeah...today, with this relationship you and I have had all these years supporting us, let's achieve happiness together!"

Chitoge started frothing in the mouth.

"Hoo hoo hoo."

The gorilla dashed across the field and swept her up into his gigantic arms. He looked down at her with that confident smile, his eyebrow bouncing as he drew her into his chest.

"Wait...wait hold on!"

Chitoge frantically tried to get out of the gorilla's grip. Her wedding dress flailed this way and that as the gorilla's rugged face slowly descended towards her—

"No, no! This isn't what I signed up for! This is all wrong! I don't want to marry a gorilla!"

Her hands scrambled up to keep the gorilla's leathery face at bay—

"Someone help me! Tsugumi? Tsugumi, get me out of here!"

Tsugumi Seishirou had broken down into happy tears and was being escorted out of the room.

"Claude! Claude, I need your help right now!"

"Uhuu...Ojou, I'm sorry. To think that I was about to stop your beautiful growth into a splendid woman..."

"STOP IT, PLEASE!"

"Hohoho. Do not worry, Kirisaki-san. Today, I am willing to set our differences aside and carefully record your momentous occasion, as my gift to you on this happy day."

Tachibana Marika and the Bonyari police force were in the front rows with an army of cameras.

"MARIKA, YOUUU—!"

"Well then, Kosaki. Shall we go then?"

"Eh? But Raku, Chitoge-chan is still..."

"If we don't hurry, we'll be late to our own wedding."

A glance her way. The smile that Ichijou Raku flashed at her was one full of support and goodwill.

"I know Chitoge. She'll be fine."

_What are you saying...?_

"GWAUH!"

The gorilla's face was slammed down to the ground, as if decked by a sledgehammer.

"The groom!"

"Oh no, Shabani!"

_What are you saying?_

Chitoge ran off the altar, her hands tightly gripping the edges of her wedding dress.

_How could I be fine with this?_

_How could I..._

"Raku! Wait, Raku!"

_When I still haven't..._

They were leaving the hall. Dancing away merrily into the blinding light.

Her hand stretched out for him. A distance between them that seemed impossible to cross.

Growing and growing.

_I still haven't...done anything..._

_I never had a chance to..._

"Raku! RAKU!"

_Make you look my way._

"Don't leave, Raku!"

_Not yet_—

_Not yet_—

_Not yet__—!_

A white flash.

The blue eyes of Kirisaki Chitoge blinked once. Above her, the light from the ceiling of her bedroom shone softly.

And her mouth opened to breathe in air again.

"Ojou? Ojou, did you call me?"

From the hallway, she could hear Tsugumi approaching her room. Chitoge sat up, her blanket slipping from her body and puddling around her waist. Her hand went up and roughly wiped away her sweaty bangs.

"What kind of dream was that...?"

A foolish dream. An impossible dream. Like a delusion, a fantasy, not even worth calling a nightmare.

But...

"Ojou, you should get up from bed now. The Christmas party is just a few hours away and—Ojou? What's the matter, Ojou?"

"Huh? Wh-what? Oh..."

Chitoge rubbed her eyes wearily with her palm.

"I'm just a little tired still, I guess..."

When her palm pulled away, the surface was slightly moist, as if she had just emerged from a cold fog.

* * *

**Bonus Arc - Magical Night**

**The Curtains Fall**

_Part Two  
_

* * *

A quick shower to refresh herself. Then picking and changing into her clothes for the party.

As Kirisaki Chitoge finished tying her ribbon into her hair, she finally started feeling like her old self.

"Perfect!"

Chitoge smiled at her image in the mirror as she made some last adjustments. No sign of the messy hair and sweaty face that had plagued her after waking up from that near-miss with the gorilla. Just thinking back to it made Chitoge's smile twitch. But it was over now and she could move onto more important things.

Like the Christmas party that she was hosting.

"Ah...I feel a little nervous about this after all."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Ojou. You've invested a lot of time in making preparations for this party."

"Of course. You know, this is probably going to be the last party like this we'll have with our classmates. We're third-years after all..."

Exam periods were coming up. And then after that would just be the final stretch to their graduation. Thinking about it now, there were really only a few months left before the daily life that they had gotten so used to would come to an end.

Their time as high school students—

Their friendships and bonds—

The experiences that they shared with their classmates and teachers—

Even something like a fake relationship—

Something that seemed timeless, that seemed like it could go on forever...

Was destined to be cut next spring.

A little pang in the chest. Sadness? Regret? Maybe even bitterness.

There was a mixture of those feelings in Chitoge's heart. But not so much. Her time in Bonyari, her time with her friends and family, and yes, even that idiot beansprout...

That was really what filled up her heart. That was where the pang came from, the fact that those times would become just memories soon. It was an unstoppable process, a by-product of happiness perhaps.

The process of those memories turning into a cherished piece of herself.

"That's why we have to do our best today and make sure everyone has a good time."

"Of course, Ojou."

"Putting that aside...Tsugumi—"

It wasn't like the Christmas party was a formal engagement. Raku had even took it on himself to emphasize to their classmates that they didn't have to wear suits or elegant gowns. Although Chitoge wasn't sure why they would think to wear stuff like that in the first place...

Still, even if that was the case, a party with all your classmates didn't happen everyday. It didn't hurt anyone to dress up a little for the occasion; maybe in a way, it was even expected.

Just a little thing. Maybe a slightly fancier outfit. A nice hairpin that you didn't usually wear. Some stylish heels.

It was fine to do something like that...to take the chance to emphasize your feminine grace.

But as for her best friend, Tsugumi Seishirou—

"...Are you really fine with wearing that to the party?"

"Hm? Yes...does it not suit me, Ojou?"

"No, it does...or rather, it suits you too well..."

A dark blue tuxedo. Somehow, the sharp, slimming suit had erased even the most distinctive of her feminine features. Perhaps even more so than when she had first arrived at Bonyari High School, Tsugumi Seishirou's appearance was like that of a dashing pretty boy.

"You know Tsugumi, you could wear something a bit cuter. Since it's a party after all..."

"No. This is fine for me, Ojou. It looks proper and it is also easy to move in, on the chance that you require protection..."

"You don't need to worry about that, we have Claude and the others here today—"

"That's...I mean, yes, of course. But...I um...I feel more relaxed in this attire..." said Tsugumi, fidgeting a little under Chitoge's stare. "It's very comfortable actually..."

"Hmmm..."

Chitoge's eyes narrowed slightly. Tsugumi felt a bead of sweat crawl down the side of her face.

"Well, if that's how you feel Tsugumi..."

_Phew..._

Inside her mind, Tsugumi Seishirou dropped to her knees in relief.

She had gotten through it. Lately, Chitoge had been more aggressive about Tsugumi's appearance and choice of clothing. Her usual wardrobe had started to fill up with frilly dresses and cute skirts. It was like having a very determined girlfriend trying to move in.

_Well, it's not like I don't understand her intentions..._

The thought had crossed her mind. That perhaps it'd be a waste of an opportunity if she just wore one of her usual outfits. Chitoge looked absolutely beautiful in her new dress and she was sure that Kosaki and Ruri would also look pretty. Perhaps even Tachibana Marika...

And as Chitoge had said, this was probably the last big celebration with their classmates before graduation...

Just trying a dress...maybe she could just check it out. It wasn't like she had expectations for something to come out of it. Compared to someone like Chitoge or Kosaki, she probably wouldn't be spared a second glance.

But...she could imagine Chitoge complimenting her, saying that she was cute. Imagine all of them having fun at the party, dressed like how high school girls should be...

Maybe also...Ichijou Raku would...

_Amazing...you look absolutely amazing, Tsugumi! _

_Y-You! What are you saying! That's something you should be telling Onodera-sama..._

_What are you talking about? Right now, there's no gem shining brighter than you. My eyes are filled with your glowing beauty, my darling Tsugumi._

_W-Wait! Where do you think you're touching me_—

_Tsugumi...I can't restrain myself...not when you're like this_—

_Ah...no, we can't. Not here..._

_Oh Tsugumi!_

_Ahhhhnnnn~_

"GYAAHHHH!"

An explosion. Tsugumi Seishirou had erupted like a volcano.

The end result had seen her prepared dress torn up to irrecoverable shreds.

_I can't tell Ojou that it was for a reason like that..._

All Tsugumi Seishirou could do was hold back her tears as she tried to dodge Chitoge's questioning.

The tuxedo was comfortable anyways. Yeah, it was made of high-quality material that felt like silk on the skin!

Also, it provided far more protection than a flimsy dress would. Not to mention the fighting hazards! What if her skirt flipped up mid-jump? Or her accessories got caught on a coat hangar or something? There were dangers everywhere!

Dressing herself in an unfamiliar way, she was just asking Chitoge to get killed! It was for the best that she had torn up that dress! It was for the best that she was tying down her breasts with tape so that she could fit her chest into this button-down shirt—

_I'm an idiot...why am I like this, stupid me!_

"Okay! If we're all set, then let's do final checks on the ho—Tsugumi!? Tsugumi, what's wrong?"

"A-Ah...nothing! It's nothing, Ojou. I just had some dust in my eye."

Yes, this was for the best. She didn't need something like a pretty dress to enjoy herself at this party. She had all her friends and classmates with her.

Besides...it probably wouldn't even have looked good on her...a cute-looking dress like that...

...

Sniff.

"I-I'm sorry, Ojou. T-There's just dust everywhere..."

And so Tsugumi took five minutes to wash her face in the bathroom.

"Now then. As you requested, Ojou, we will now commence with final checks for the party."

"Alright! Let's get at it!"

First, the decorations in the main hall.

"Mmhmm! Pass!"

Then the state of the courtyard outside.

"Pass!"

The orchestra that would be performing live music during the party.

"Check!"

And of course, the food and drinks that would be served throughout the night.

"Mmm! Hass!" said Chitoge, gnawing on a fried chicken leg. As they made their way out of the kitchen, their sweep through the Beehive mansion was nearly complete. It seemed like everything was going quite smoothly.

"And you've got your present for the gift exchange, right Tsugumi?"

"Yes. As you requested, I've replaced my earlier gift of a Beretta M9 with this phone charm instead," said Tsugumi, holding up a slim box wrapped with a green ribbon.

"Good. I've got my present ready as well," said Chitoge, flashing a gift certificate for a year's worth of ramen from a specialty shop. Because Raku had whipped her away from the last Christmas party they had, she hadn't been able to participate in the gift exchange then. It was going to be a different story this time, however.

"Everything looks good so far."

"Yes. It seems that all that's left to do now is a once-over with the shift schedule for security tonight. Claude-sama should be in charge of that, I'll just need a minute to inquire of his current location..."

"Oh yeah. Where is Claude anyways? I don't think we saw him anywhere in the house toda—"

Hm?

Chitoge stopped in her tracks as the sound reached her ears. Her head turned this way and that as she tried to pinpoint the location of the noise.

"Ojou? Is there something wrong?"

"...Did you just hear something, Tsugumi?"

"Hear?" Tsugumi put away the radio that she had been speaking into and perked her ears to listen. "...No. I don't hear anything unusual."

"Huh...? I could've sworn..."

It had been a trumpet-like sound...

Chitoge looked suspiciously down the hall. For some reason, the movie 'Tarzan' came to mind when she reviewed the sound in her head.

It couldn't be...right?

"Yeah...why would something like that be here..."

"Ojou, it seems that Claude is receiving guests that have arrived early at the front door. Shall we go down and meet with him?"

"Yeah. Let's go..."

Chitoge took one last look over her shoulder and saw nothing. Deciding that it must've just been her imagination, she turned back around to catch up with Tsugumi.

* * *

"Wooow...so this is Kirisaki-san's home?"

"Well according to this address, it is."

"Amazing...so that's the power of America."

Three classmates from Chitoge's class at Bonyari High School. A shy-looking busty girl, a short stoic-type girl, and a girl that could only be described as "average."

And looming before them, the expansive estate of the Beehive Gang.

Just the gate alone with its towering height, gold embellishments, and decorative angel sculptures probably cost more than a house. Beyond the gate, the massive castle-like mansion and the exquisite horticulture made it seem as if they were looking through a window to another dimension. The average girl wasn't exactly sure what expression to make at this home that seemed to be worth more than the whole neighborhood combined.

"Crap, what should I do? I feel really underdressed now..."

"Well they said we didn't need to dress formally, so it should be fine. But if you're really that worried about it, let's just stick together. Since your chest is so flat, it'll be like you're invisible when you're with us."

"Your chest is flatter than mine is, you know!"

"I'd heard the rumors, but Kirisaki-san really is a rich girl, huh..."

"Yes. It seems like Kirisaki-san's family is head of a large gang from America."

"Ehh...so like Ichijou then. That explains things. I always wondered why Kirisaki-san would get together with a flakey guy like him."

"Don't say that...I'm sure Ichijou-san has his good points. They're so lovey-dovey at school, it can't just be because of their families."

"Well...yeah. I guess you're right about that. But I don't know, Ichijou's never really stood out to me or anything..."

"Isn't that because only flashy pretty boys get your attention?"

"That's not all I look for, you know! Besides, Ichijou's got some problems even if you ignore his looks...like, what kind of guy wears a hairpin..."

"Ah, I think his hairpin is really distinctive. It gives him kind of a cute image."

"Guys shouldn't be described as 'cute', you know..."

"Maybe we should save this discussion for after we're inside? It's pretty cold out here."

"Ah yeah..."

Unexpectedly, or perhaps expected for such extravagant decor, the gate swung smoothly at their touch, as if the metal entrance was inviting them in. The three girls shuffled onto Beehive property, their movements showing some nervousness as they made their way across the ornate walkway.

"It's nice of Kirisaki-san to host this Christmas party for the class. I remember the one we had in our first-year was really fun."

"Yeah, especially since 'that' event happened with Kirisaki-san and Ichijou...really, what a hot couple! Going off on their own so passionately."

"Scandalous."

"Ahaha...it turned out to be a misunderstanding though."

"By the way, you guys all got your presents for the gift exchange, right?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't sure what to get, so I don't know if I picked a good present..."

"What did you get?"

"Just a parka...but it's unisex and really warm."

"Hmm, it's a pretty normal present, isn't it?"

"Well, it also has twenty different pockets that you can use..."

"Uwah...nevermind. What is that, a Doraemon parka?"

"I prepared a copy of Monster Girl Hunter for the exchange."

"Oh, is that a game?"

"Yes. It's the special, limited-edition, X-rated version."

"Hold on, all of sudden this game seems dangerous!"

"What kind of present did you buy?"

"Me? Uh...well..."

The average girl sheepishly pulled out a small pouch from her coat pocket in response to the busty girl. She pulled off the ribbon tied to it to let them examine the contents.

"They're just some gummies I found at a street sale..."

"Ohh wow! Those look really tasty for some reason..."

"I know, right!? It's a little lame bringing gummies for a white elephant exchange but they looked so good, I thought it'd be okay..."

"It's true...in terms of taste, they must have something like an SSS-rank flavor."

The stoic girl stared at the gummies with a drooling mouth. The average girl hastily closed up the bag and tied it back up with the ribbon.

"No samples. If you want to try them, you'll have to ask whoever gets them in the exchange."

"Ehh...stingy..."

"It's rude to eat someone else's gift, you know?" said the average girl as they came near to the front door of the Beehive mansion. "Wow...this place looks even more ritzy up close..."

"I wonder if it's fine to just knock..."

"That is true. Since it is the home of American gangsters, maybe the next time we wake up, we will see Samuel K. Jackson and John Tavola from inside the trunk of a car..."

"It feels like you're trying to scare us, so stop it," said the average girl, rapping a fist nervously on the door. "I'm sure Kirisaki-san's family are all just normal people on the inside—"

Against the approaching darkness of evening, a shaft of light was cast on the three Bonyari High School girls. The double doors leading into the Beehive mansion creaked open, revealing silver hair and square-framed glasses.

And an automatic rifle.

"Uwaah!"

"Well, good evening. Three young ladies at our door...Could it be that you are classmates from Ojou's school?"

The ever loyal member of the Beehive Gang, Claude, greeted the three girls with an amicable smile.

"Eh? Wait a minute..." said the average girl, her eyes blinking rapidly. "Where did the..."

"Hm? Is there something wrong, miss?"

"Huh...? Wasn't there a rifle just now..." whispered the average girl to her friends.

"Eh? What are you saying, that'd be really scary!"

"Are you okay? Have you been playing too many FPS at night again?"

"You're the only one that does that!" snapped the average girl, rubbing her eyes. Nope, still nothing. Had it just been her imagination...?

"So then. To what do I owe this pleasure of having Ojou's classmates visit during this late hour?"

"Ah...well, we were invited to a Christmas party by Kirisaki-san..." said the average girl, taking out the invitation cards that Chitoge had given them.

"Is that so? If I may take a look at those invitations..."

The average girl blushed as Claude's hand brushed against hers while reaching for the cards.

A smooth, confident voice. Cool, striking eyes and a well-defined jawline. Even underneath his smart suit, it was clear that his body was toned and firm. Not to mention the sexy way his silver bangs framed his face...

"Wow...now that I look closely, this guy is a total hottie! Could he be Kirisaki-san's brother...? Ahh, this isn't good...I'm getting shivers from just staring into those dreamy glasses—"

The average girl stomped on the stoic girl's foot, ending her narration.

"I wasn't thinking anything like that, you know!"

"Oh? But I didn't say that you were..."

"T-That's right! So we agree on that! Yeah, I was actually thinking about this cake I had for dessert last night that had some yummy chocolate sauce on top—"

"I mean chocolate sauce all over his body...dripping onto those perfect lips...his tongue running slowly down a chocolate-covered finger—"

"Uwah...stop it, that's so damn ho—NO, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SAY!?"

"Well, this all seems to be in order," said Claude, oblivious to the conversation that had just taken place. He motioned to another Beehive member and handed him the cards. "My apologies if this seems a bit excessive. I'm sure you understand that due to Ojou's position, we must take certain precautions to ensure her safety."

"Y-Yeah...sure. I get it," said the average girl nervously. _So this is the life of rich people!_

"That said, I'm happy that Ojou has seemed to make good friends at school instead of just spending time with some spineless, sorry piece of scum that doesn't even deserve to be stepped on by her shoe," said Claude, chuckling heartily.

"Ahaha...right..." _He's kinda weird, but still...He really is my type!_

"Now then, since we have verified the purpose of your visit, if you would just go ahead and provide us with some identification."

"Huh? Identification?"

"Yes, your student ID will be adequate for now."

"Uh..." said the average girl, glancing back at her friends. "We didn't think we would need them so..."

"Ah, but I brought mine just in c—BHH!"

The busty girl was silenced by the average girl's hand.

"Oh? Is that right?" said Claude. Even though a relaxed smile was still present on his face, it seemed like his expression had darkened suddenly. "Meaning you girls believed that you would be thoughtlessly allowed inside the safe haven where Ojou and her family reside without a single shred of proof for your identity...hoho, that's quite bold of you..."

"H-Huh? No, no, we weren't trying to be bold! It's just this is a Christmas party so we though it'd be okay if—"

"No, of course! I completely understand. Yes, yes, just because you are women, you believed that slipping past our guard would be as easy as strolling through the yard."

"That's not it! We're really just here for Kirisaki-san's party! If you ask her to come down, I'm sure she'll clear this whole thing up—"

"HAHAHAHA! Bring Ojou down to meet with unidentified solicitors at our door," said Claude, shaking his head. Behind the shine of his glasses, the sharp glare of a top-ranking Beehive member appeared in a piercing flash. "Are you looking down on the Beehive, young lady?"

From both sides of the door, two Beehive members stepped out and sneered at the girls in a threatening manner. The average girl took an involuntary step back, her face sweating.

"C-crap...What do we do? These guys really think that we're trying to target Kirisaki-san or something!" whispered the average girl to her friends.

"I'm sure if we just e-explain things to them properly—"

"We can't run. If we run, we won't get any EXP and lose all our loot—"

"This isn't the time for your gamer illusions, you know!"

A step forward. The strip of light from the door was overcast by Claude's foreboding shadow. Swallowing the lump that had appeared in her throat, the average girl looked helplessly up at the Beehive member, thinking that no amount of chocolate sauce could possibly make this situation seem any better.

"Now, now. There's no need to panic about being found out. Fortunately for you, Ojou has been working hard to make sure everything goes smoothly today. I have no intention of ruining those preparations by taking out some lowlifes right at our front door. Therefore, as a special case for the holidays, I'll be giving you three a chance to make it off this property safe and sound."

"_Take out? _He just said he was going to take us out, right!?"

"We'll play a game involving this coin," said Claude, fishing out a 500 yen piece from his pocket. "I will shuffle the coin between my hands and once I have finished, you simply need to pick the hand that possesses the coin."

"What is this game that sounds like it's ripped from a famous manga!?"

"How about it? Will you participate in this game?"

"...What happens if we lose?"

A menacing grin from the glasses.

"Of course, we'll escort you to an appropriate location where you can be **dispos-**-I mean, _handled_ properly."

"W-What do we do? I'm not allowed to stay out really late tonight," said the busty girl tearfully.

"And I have to sign for the packages that are coming to my house in the morning..."

"You guys have some really trivial reasons for wanting to go home, you know!?"

"B-But my mom said we're having sukiyaki for dinner..."

"You're going to eat dinner after going to a Christmas party!? Is eating like that the reason your boobs are so big!?"

The average girl bit her lip as she thought through the situation. However, it didn't seem like there were any alternatives she could take. Even escape was no longer an option...

If that was the case...then...

"Jeez! We just have to win the game then, right!?"

The average girl stomped down with her foot and stared defiantly back at Claude.

"Oho? You have guts, young lady, I'll give you that," said Claude, flipping the coin. "However, we'll see whether or not you can live up to your boasting."

The coin disappeared as Claude and the other two Beehive members shuffled their hands through the air, their movement so quick that even their afterimages were blurred.

"Why is this going to the highest difficulty right from the start!?"

A hand came up and patted the average girl on the shoulder.

"Don't worry," said the stoic girl, stepping forward. "You can just leave this to me."

"What? You can see where the coin is?"

"Mm! For these eyes that have had their dynamic visual acuity trained through long hours of Touhou, even something like this is slow motion!"

"I don't understand any of what you just said, but you sound really reliable right now!"

The stoic girl focused her sight on the blur of hands before her. It wasn't just enough to be able to track the coin. Rather, focusing too narrowly on the coin made it easier for you to be distracted. That's because there would inevitably be times where a hand obscured the coin from view. You had to keep a wide view of the scene, to map the trajectory of each hand, matching it with the coin's appearance and disappearance. Through this way, you could pick out any visual trickery by verifying the coin's intended location.

Faster and faster. Claude and the Beehive members were starting to shuffle so quickly that it was a wonder the coin didn't catch fire from the friction.

The average girl and the busty girl could only cheer their friend on silently as her eyes zipped back and forth.

"..."

Back and forth. Up, down, left, right, 360 flip.

"..."

A violent cyclone of movement, it was like a heat haze had started to form around their hands.

"...Yeah. I give up."

"HUH!?"

"Sorry," said the stoic girl, pouting pitifully. "My monitor is just a 15" CRT at 1024x768 resolution...I underestimated how much peripheral vision you need for real world FOV..."

"Don't give me an excuse that I can't even understand!"

"Now then—!"

With a loud clap, the final pass for the coin was made. Claude and the two Beehive members held closed fists out, giving the girls six options to choose from.

"Which hand holds the coin?"

_Oh my god, we're screwed._

The average girl buried her face into her hands. It was over. They were going to be "disposed of" by a hot guy and his moderately hot lackeys. And they'd miss Chitoge's Christmas party too. Not to mention the last few months of their high school life!

"Ahh...it has to be because I was thinking such shameless thoughts earlier...darn me and my fantasies about chocolate-covered hunks..."

"You're still keeping that up in this situation!?"

So in the end, it'd just have to come down to guessing?

No...there was still an option she could take. That's right, for this game ripped straight from a famous manga—

"The hand that has the coin..."

Leaving their fate to the answer from her dubious trump card, the average girl jabbed a thumb over her shoulder and said:

"Is the one behind me, isn't it?"

_Ah..._

_But there was never anyone behind us!_

"E-Eh!?"

"Huh?"

The average girl turned around at the busty girl's squeak.

Resting on her open palm was the 500 yen coin.

"..."

"Ahaha...you did it..."

They were safe now. Her risky gamble had paid off!

So why did she feel such a sense of defeat?

"Ughh...I can't take this anymore..."

"Well, well. Congratulations!" said Claude, clapping loudly in applause. "To think that you caught even a trick like that...I'm very impressed."

"So...do you believe us now? That we're just here for Kirisaki-san's party and don't have any bad intentions..."

"Yes, of course. I think this experience has shed light on the whole situation," said Claude, grinning again. "Yes..._I believe_ that you girls are far more dangerous than I had imagined."

"What!?"

"As I had thought, you three are not normal girls after all! To keep track of a coin during a high speed exchange like that...I see that we're dealing with trained professionals."

"IT WAS JUST A GUESS! I JUST GUESSED, OKAY!?"

"You've done well in getting this far. However, it was your mistake in thinking that I would allow anyone to get close enough to harm even a single hair on Ojou's beautiful head!" said Claude, whipping out the automatic rifle again.

"WAAHH!"

The average girl thrust her hands into the air out of reflex.

"U-Um...I'm sorry, but I think that I might be allergic to bullets...do they have nickel in them?" said the busty girl, shaking at the sight of the gun.

"Oh, could it be that you're using the famed 'Tommy Gun' to take us down? Amazing, I never thought that I'd be able to see it perform in real life—"

"Could you guys be serious about this for one second!?"

"So, you scampering mice! Do you have any last words to say before we throw you in the trunk of our Maybach?"

"Maybach!? Seriously, how rich are you guys to use that for 'disposing'!?"

"Get them! Make sure that you gag them as well so that we don't disturb Ojou!"

"Wait! Wait, hold on—!" shouted the average girl as the Beehive members started to close in on them.

"Wahh! P-Please be more careful about where you touch..." said the busty girl as they were hoisted into the air.

"Perhaps after they 'dispose' us, they'll clean up the evidence with a helicopter like in *etal Gear Solid V!"

"Ah jeez...I don't even have the will to say a comeback anymore..."

Rapid pounding. As the three girls were in the process of being carried away, a rumbling sound was coming from inside the mansion. In response to that sound, Claude turned his head, his eyes widening as he identified the approaching figure—

"Ah Ojou! Do not worry, we have already apprehended these insolent intrude—"

His sentence was interrupted as a flying knee bashed into his face.

"CLAAAAUUUUUUUUUDDEEE!"

The top-ranking Beehive member blasted onto the walkway, rolling through the bushes until he came to a stop upside-down, his immaculate suit mottled with leaves and branches.

"What are you doing to my friends!? Put them down right now!"

By tearing the hemline of her dress, breaking the heels on her shoes and forgetting about the careful arrangements to her radiant blonde hair—

Kirisaki Chitoge managed to arrive in time to save her classmates from being stuffed into the back of a Maybach.

* * *

"So something like that actually happened...That's kind of incredible..."

"No, it was the worst. Tsugumi had to take care of the final preparations all by herself while I got changed...plus those guys caused even more problems for our other classmates..."

"We're really sorry, Kirisaki-san. That you had to go through all that trouble...and thank you so much for saving us back then," said the average girl, bowing in gratitude.

"What are you talking about, that's what I should be saying! I'm really sorry about what my guys did to you earlier," said Chitoge, waving her hands in a flustered manner. "Actually, I was wondering if there was anything I could do to make up for it...that was a horrible thing to happen on Christmas..."

"No, it's fine Kirisaki-san! We know that you weren't responsible for any of this. Besides, it was our fault for underestimating the lifestyle of rich people..."

"Huh? Sorry, I couldn't really hear that last part. Also, you can just call me Chitoge instead of Kirisaki-san. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Kirisak...I mean, Chitoge-chan..."

It was true that they were classmates, but up to that point, the average girl had never really interacted very closely with Kirisaki Chitoge. But after seeing her gallant figure swooping into the rescue...not to mention a generous, kind heart that seemed to shine even more brightly than the chandeliers that had been hung on the ceiling...all of a sudden, something strange began to well up inside her chest. A feeling that she had never felt before...blooming like a flower, spreading warmth all the way down to her toes and fingertips.

_Ah...could it be...?_

_This wave of emotion..._

_Could it be that for the very first time...with Chitoge-chan, I've..._

"Would you give it a rest, already!?"

The punchline came accompanied with a knock to the head, once again ending the stoic girl's narration.

"Well, don't worry about the guards anymore. I told them off so that nothing like that will happen again, so go ahead and enjoy yourselves."

"Thank you very much. Ah also...we didn't get to tell you earlier, but we brought some gifts for the gift exchange..." said the busty girl while her two friends were busy scuffling in the background.

"Yes, we have a place where you can leave the gifts. If you would please follow me..."

"It's good that you were able to reach them in time, Chitoge-chan," said Kosaki after Tsugumi led the three classmates away to deposit their gifts. "I didn't know that Claude-san could get so...enthusiastic about his job."

"Yeah...I mean, I know he has good intentions, but that was really going too far this time."

"Speaking of which, what happened to Claude-san?" said Ruri after scanning the room. "It doesn't look like he's here anymore..."

"Ah, since he caused so much trouble, I sent him away on an errand for the rest of the night. I'm having him pick up a limited-time item from a bakery in Singapore."

"Singapore!? Chitoge-chan, even if he did cause trouble, isn't that a little too much..."

"You think so? But I heard this salted caramel swiss roll cake is really good, Kosaki-chan."

"Salted caramel swiss roll cake? Ah, I heard about that! It's supposed to be really delicious, right Ruri-chan?"

"That's what I've read online...But I wonder if its freshness will keep if you're having it flown over all the way from Singapore..."

"Well, Claude's using one of our private jets, so it shouldn't take too long for him to come back with it. But I heard the line for it is really long and they usually sell out in the morning—"

"Wow, that's amazing. I really want to try it now..."

As the girls began to shift into a discussion about specialty desserts from other countries, their talk merged into the general chatter and noise of the party attendants. Most of the class had now arrived at Chitoge's place, specifically escorted into a large dining hall that had been cleared up for the party. Near the walls, there were long tables bending underneath the weight of colorful appetizers and marble fountains holding punch that sparkled like melted jewels. The light in the hall, fueled by the glistening shine of chandeliers and the soft, warm glow of candlelight, created a grandiose atmosphere that was oddly cozy as well.

"I know that this was all supposed to be for Kirisaki-san's mother...or maybe it's exactly because of that fact...but man. This is really quite the party."

"Yeah...I've kind of gotten used to it, but even then, she really went all out with this party."

Off to the side of the main crowd, Maiko Shuu and Ichijou Raku sipped on some punch while commenting. When they had first arrived at the party, many of their classmates had been a bit overwhelmed...after all, Chitoge's elite-like status had more or less become common knowledge among the students, but seeing it in the flesh was still a different story.

However...perhaps it was because everyone here knew each other from class and it was something like being in the same boat, but the initial awkwardness had dissolved quickly into a more festive mood. The students that had been hesitant to walk around freely in such a glamorous mansion were now crowding excitedly and expressing their amazement at things like the swan sculpture made of European-imported ice or the massive antique paintings that stretched all the way up to the ceiling.

"It's really different, isn't it?"

"Huh? What is?"

"Kirisaki-san," said Shuu, looking out into the crowd. Some of the girls from class had just joined Chitoge and the others in a lively conversation. "Compared to how it was when she first came here, things have really changed."

"Yeah, you're right," said Raku, smiling a little. Just a few years ago, Chitoge had been hunched over a desk all by herself in an empty classroom, scribbling down notes to help her make friends. But now, she was able to talk and laugh happily with everyone, even inside the headquarters of a gang family...

"Actually, now that I think about it...isn't our class kind of _too _accepting about stuff like this?"

"What are you talking about, Raku? We're all classmates, aren't we? Having been with each other through thick and thin all this time...isn't that how you'd expect things to be?"

"Yeah, but considering what happened to those three girls earlier...Chitoge's really lucky that our class has some open-minded people."

"Raku, come on...you're making me blush."

"No, you're someone that makes me wonder if you're really a good guy or not."

"Ah...that's cruel, man."

Raku moved a bit to dodge Shu's playful punch, but he kept his eyes on Chitoge.

They really had been through a lot. Ever since that first day they had met, when Chitoge had come down and kneed him in the face. As painful as that memory was, Raku couldn't feel any animosity towards it anymore. After all, that had been just like Chitoge...the girl that he had been in a fake relationship with, the girl that he had become best friends with, the girl that fallen in love with him—

His gaze shifted a little to the left.

He couldn't help it. Onodera Kosaki came into view.

And as if she felt his eyes on her, she turned her head suddenly and looked back.

"Ah..."

Raku felt his heart jolt at the contact, but he fought against the urge to look away. Kosaki smiled and raised her hand to give a little wave. Feeling the pressure on his heart increase, Raku waved back, but let his gaze fall.

...

Once again, guilt was consuming him. That he had turned away the feelings of someone close and dear to him like Chitoge...no, not just her, but Marika and Yui as well...even Haru and Tsugumi...

Rejected those feelings because he loved someone else. But he hadn't acted on his love yet...hadn't embraced it even though there was nothing stopping him...

Then wasn't it like...he had needlessly stepped on their feelings? That he had turned them away...for nothing in the end.

"So, I heard you came to the party with Onodera?"

Shu grinned knowingly at Raku as he and Kosaki finished their long-distance greeting. "Could it be that you actually got together with her finall—"

Shu stopped mid-sentence at Raku's reaction, which was like someone getting stabbed in the back by a spear.

"—I guess not. Sorry, did I hit a sore spot?"

"No...it's alright. It's my fault anyways," said Raku, smiling awkwardly. He sighed and scratched the back of his head distractedly. "We just met in front of Chitoge's house by coincidence. Actually, I think that's the first time I've talked to Onodera outside of school this whole year..."

"What? Seriously?"

"Yeah...I mean, I'm not trying to avoid her or anything. It's just...been kind of hard to face her..."

"Hey now. Raku, don't you think you're making too big a deal about this? I don't know your reasons for why you don't want to get with Onodera right now, but is it really worth messing up your current relationship?"

"It's not. I know it's not," said Raku, his brow furrowing. "I don't want to mess things up with Onodera. I've liked her all this time...screwing up now would be the stupidest thing I've ever done! But...but still..."

Shu's expression became hidden behind the glare of his glasses. Their conversation came to a halt as the two mulled over the thoughts that were occupying them now.

It was true that the situation was only difficult because Raku made it that way. It was likely that the actual solution was simple...maybe even something like a one-line answer. But it was because it was simple that Raku was hesitant to rush. Because once he took a step towards one direction, he wouldn't be able to turn back.

"Well...whatever the reason, I'm sure you'll figure it out," said Shu, patting Raku on the back. "But for now, how about you just put it aside? Just for tonight at least. It'd be depressing if you just spent the whole night beating yourself up."

"Yeah...I guess so," said Raku. Shu was right. It was best if he didn't dwell on it for now. At the very least, he'd try and have some fun. He still had that awkward, guilty feeling in his chest, but he wasn't going to let it ruin the party. Chitoge had worked hard for tonight and he owed at least this much to Kosaki for his indecisiveness.

"Good. Looks like you're getting back to your old self," said Shu, grinning at him. "By the way, Raku. Did you bring a gift with you for the gift exchange?"

"No. I was thinking so much about seeing Onodera today that I forgot..."

"Come on, man...it's fine if it's someone else, but you're Kirisaki-san's boyfriend. People would expect you to at least bring something for her."

"Crap...you're right. Do you think I should go out and buy something real quick?"

"Nah, that won't be necessary. I thought something like this would happen, so I've got you covered!" said Shu, passing a wrapped gift into Raku's hands.

"For some reason, I have a bad feeling about this..." said Raku, looking at the gift suspiciously. "There's nothing messed up in here or anything, right?"

"Raku, do you think your best friend would give you something devious like that? It hurts that you don't trust me, bro."

"..."

"Seriously, don't worry about it! It's really nothing weird. I wouldn't do that to you on Christmas."

Raku didn't want to let his guard down, but the smile Shu gave him seemed pretty sincere.

_Well, I don't have a gift anyways, so I guess I don't have much choice..._

"Alright. Thanks a lot, man."

"It's cool. You should probably put it away with the other gifts. Carrying that around with you is going to be a pain. I put mine away earlier, they're over on that table—"

"Ah, I see it. Then, I'll be right back..."

"Oh Raku. One more thing."

Just as Raku was about to leave, Shu called after him with a hand raised. Raku turned around and looked at him questioningly.

"Hm? What is it?"

"You said you forgot to get a gift...Did you come here straight from home?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Why?"

"Well because..." said Shu, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "...Nevermind. Forget about it."

"Huh? What's this about?"

"Sorry. I was thinking about something else...it's nothing, really. You should hurry and put the gift away. You're going to miss out on all the fun stuff, man!"

"Yeah, yeah I'm going..."

Shu watched as Raku went off to maneuver his way through the crowd of people, Shu's gift held tightly under his arm for protection.

Seeing his friend's back from a distance again...

There was no mistaking it. The silhouette was exactly the same. It had to have been Raku who he had seen earlier.

But Raku said that he hadn't been there...and there was no reason for him to lie about something like that...

So then...what exactly had he seen at the shopping district earlier...?

* * *

Flutter, flutter.

Sparkle, sparkle.

Wavy. Straightened. Tied up.

Long coats were put away, revealing slender dresses and soft, luxurious sweaters. Lips shining with a bit of gloss, cheeks rosy from having been in the cold outside. A variety of fragrances that blew past, subtle and light, teasingly cloy.

Perhaps it was because of the room's atmosphere or maybe because they weren't used to seeing some of their classmates outside of their uniforms—

But...

"Have the girls in our class always looked this pretty?"

"No way man...some kind of Christmas magic is happening right now..."

Or maybe it was more accurate to say a transformation. Even though Chitoge and Raku had assured them that they didn't need to wear formal clothing, just the fact that the party would be held at the Kirisaki mansion had set some expectations. Several of the guys from Raku's class simply stood to the side, taking in the wonderful sights.

"Man, the girls got really excited about this, huh..."

"You're telling me. It's kind of getting my hopes up..."

"Getting your hopes up? Really man? It's true that most of the girls here are the ones that didn't have plans for Christmas because they're single...but we're third-years already, you know? A party's not going to change things if you didn't stand a chance up till now."

"Well that's because I haven't actually _tried_ yet...But I mean, even a guy like Ichijou got a gorgeous girlfriend like Kirisaki-san. I'm pretty sure I have a shot since I'm looking really good today."

"This guy, where the heck are you getting all that hot air from?"

"That's the spirit. We can't let that lucky bastard Ichijou be the only fortunate guy in our year."

Another voice chimed into the conversation, coming from a tall figure that had come up next to them.

"Oh Gorisawa, huh? So you came to the party t—PFFTTTT! W-Wha...Wait a minute! Who the hell are you!?"

"Huh? You said it just now, didn't you? It's me, Gorisawa."

"Holy shit Gorisawa, you clean up way too well, dude!"

"It's like I'm looking at a young Russell Crowe!"

"Really? Haha, thanks guys. I don't know who that is, but I was going for a Johnny Depp look...see, I even grew the mustache here."

...

The guys each put a comforting hand on Gorisawa's shoulders.

"Hey man. Don't let anyone tell you not to have dreams."

"Yeah, sometimes there are just some things that are beyond our reach...but that doesn't mean you have to give up, bro."

"Uh...right. Thanks guys."

"But you know, I really have to give Maiko props this time around. If it wasn't for him suggesting this to Kirisaki-san, we wouldn't be looking at this Christmas fantasy right now..."

"Yeah, you're right. Not to mention 4K UHD later...damn it, I have to start saving my allowance again."

"But don't you think it's kind of going to waste if we're all just standing here next to the punch fountain..."

"You think so, tough guy? Well, why don't you go and talk to one of them then?"

"M-Me? P-Please. If I go out there right now, none of the girls will be able to tear their eyes off me for the rest of the night. It's too risky to send me out first."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Alright, how about Gorisawa then?"

"Hm? Oh sorry. Actually, I'm just waiting here until my girlfriend arrives."

The nuclear implosion that set off within the group of boys at that moment.

"YOUR WHAAAAT!?"

"Are you freaking serious right now!? When, who, SERIOUSLY WHO!?"

"God, even Gorisawa!? What the fuck is wrong with the girls at our school, man!"

"Beautiful..."

"Huh? Are you kidding me? Dude, even if he does look like Russell Crowe, what the heck are you saying to another gu..."

The boys stopped their roughing up of Gorisawa as they noticed that one of their friends was looking off into the distance with a dreamy look. Following the direction of his eyes, they turned their heads towards a group of girls that were talking just a few meters away.

"Iwashita-san looks really nice tonight..."

A secondary assault even after they had taken critical damage. The boys couldn't even muster another reaction of outrage.

"What the hell is going on..."

"This party is dangerous, man. I knew that things were going too well..."

"I...I think I'm going to go try and talk with her."

"HEY MAN, STOP ACTING LIKE A FREAKING HAVE-LIFER!"

"Actually...I was thinking of doing the same...but with Suzuki-san—"

"Don't be so freaking hasty! You're just going to get turned down on the spot! God, have you guys gone crazy in the head or something!?"

"I'm going to talk to Kirisaki-san! Don't try and stop me, I've already made up my mind!"

"Dude, she already has a boyfriend! You're not even thinking clearly anymore!"

"I know I don't have a chance! But I've had my eye on Iwashita-san since we were first-years, you know! And she's going on a sports recommendation to a nice university after graduation...I won't ever have another opportunity like this."

"Don't be so desperate! If you don't stand a chance, at least put an end to your high school crush with some dignity, man!"

"Dammit! If only I wasn't such a coward all this time...then maybe I could've...with Iwashita-san..."

"What about me?"

For the third time that night, the interjection of an outsider stunned the group of boys into silence.

At the moment, the group of girls that had been meters away had somehow made their way to the punch fountain. And leading them was a slender girl with her hair up in a ponytail—

"I-Iwashita-san!?"

"W-Wh-Why are all the girls coming over here now!?"

"Why, you ask..." said Iwashita, looking confused. "Kirisaki-san's guards said that they're really thirsty but they're not allowed to leave their posts. So they asked if we could go get some punch for them."

The boys looked over at the gangsters that were standing guard on the opposite wall. Noticing their questioning looks, the gangsters grinned back and gave them a thumbs-up.

"GWWWOOOOHHHHH!"

"W-What the heck!? What's with you guys all of a sudden!?"

"What kind of gangsters are they supposed to be...they're all good guys, aren't they!?"

"Dammit, they created an opening for us and I'm still..." said one of the boys, frustration twisting his face. "Screw it! Iwashita-san, please hear me out! The truth is that ever since I saw you in class when we were first-years, I've always had feelings for you!"

"W...Wh...HUH!? W-Wait a minute, what is this!?"

"Me too! Suzuki-san! I've had feelings for you all this time!"

"E-Ehhh!?" said Suzuki, turning red immediately. "I-I'm sorry! I'm actually going out with Gorisawa-kun right now—"

**"—!?"**

As Raku started his way back from depositing his gift at the table, an enormous explosion of noise had just come from the other side of the dining hall. All of a sudden, he could see a mob of his classmates chasing after someone who looked like Russell Crowe...

"What the heck is going on over there...?"

It seemed like there was some trouble, but Raku wasn't sure if he wanted to get involved. Deciding that it didn't look like anything serious, he continued his way aimlessly through the throngs of people until a familiar red ribbon came into view.

"Yo. Chitoge!"

"Huh? Oh...it's just you, Beansprout."

"What's with that disappointed reaction...?"

"Well since it's a party, I was expecting to talk to other people besides you..."

"Sorry that I'm not other people."

"Relax, I'm just joking," said Chitoge, smiling at him. "So how is it so far? You think everyone's having fun?"

"Seems like it," said Raku as they watched the Gorisawa mob continue its rampage through the hall. "I was a little worried since you were doing all the planning, but it looks like you pulled it off."

"What, you thought this was going to be a big disaster or something?"

"That's not it...it's just since you were doing everything by yourself, I thought it might've been tough on you."

"O-Oh..." said Chitoge, feeling a bit chagrined. "Well, Tsugumi and the others helped a lot, so it wasn't that bad..."

"Still, this is all pretty amazing. I'm sure everyone else thinks so too...you really did a great job, Chitoge."

"...Stop trying to flatter me. It feels weird hearing that sort of stuff from you."

"Why can't you just take the compliment..."

And just like that they sunk into their usual mood. A calm, comforting air where they didn't have to worry about what each other said, didn't have to worry about misunderstandings, didn't have to try and pretend to be something they weren't. It was a reflection of how long they'd known each other now, how close they had gotten, that they could just stand there and chat about trivial things.

"By the way, didn't you say that you forgot to bring a gift for the exchange earlier?"

"Ah...yeah. But I sort of took care of it already."

"Oh okay. I was going to say that you should talk to Maiko-kun about it. I forgot to tell you earlier, but I wanted to make sure that everyone got to participate in the exchange even if they didn't bring a gift. So Maiko-kun said that he'd bring a few extra just in case."

"I see, so that's why he had that with him..."

"Huh?"

"Uh...it's nothing. I got it sorted out, so don't worry about it."

"I guess that's good then," said Chitoge, peeking at him from the corner of her eye. Dressed in slacks and a mahogany patterened sweater vest, there was nothing remarkable about the way Raku looked right now. He was sporting that regular dumb look on his face as they continued to just stand there and watch their classmates.

It was a normal situation, but Chitoge's chest felt tight. She glanced down at her hands, out of reflex, and felt her face grow warm.

It didn't make sense, these random bursts of emotion that happened to her. Where she would look at something mundane, like the exasperated smile that appeared often when he was with her or the way he'd avert his eyes and try to act cool when he was flustered. Or even something small like some new clothes that she hadn't seen him wear before or the scent of a new shampoo. Whatever it was, her heart would give a little bump when she realized it, that these things that she would normally overlook in other people seemed so obvious to her when it came to Raku.

And then the tight feeling would turn into a little prickle. She'd remember that there was no point in her feeling this way...because right now, Raku was in love with Kosaki...

The memory flashed in her mind. The wedding altar. The Beansprout standing across from her, slipping the ring onto her finger with a gentle touch—

"Chitoge? Are you alright?"

"Huh?" said Chitoge, realizing that Raku was staring at her.

"You look a little pale. Say...you've been resting properly while you were working on this party, right?"

"Y-Yeah...I actually took a nap this afternoon. It's nothing, I'm probably just hungry or something."

"I...I see," said Raku, a bit surprised that Chitoge would admit that so easily. _She must have really pushed herself for tonight..._

"More importantly...how's it been going? You know...with Kosaki-chan."

"Huh? Where'd that come from?"

"Ah...well, that's..." said Chitoge, trying to think of a way to cover up her intentions. "It's just...you know, since it's Christmas and all, I thought you'd be hanging all over her and being a bother or something."

"Is that really how you see me?" said Raku with a twitching smile. But then his eyes lowered and a more serious look came across his face. "About me and Onodera...I don't really know how it's going."

"What do you mean?"

"Well...I haven't...really talked to her that much outside of class lately..."

"Eh?" said Chitoge, a hint of worry in her voice. "Why, what's wrong? Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

"No, nothing like that," said Raku, feeling like he was being interrogated for some reason. He reached up and massaged the back of his neck, trying to figure out what exactly he was trying to say. "I just don't...don't know how to approach her right now..."

"Huh? What the heck are you talking about? Why are you even thinking about something stupid like that?"

"You don't understand...The reason is kind of complicated..."

"Hmph, you're probably right about that," said Chitoge, sounding a little annoyed with his answer. "I don't know what goes on in that thick head of yours."

"That's not what I meant—"

"But," continued Chitoge over Raku's objection. "What I do know is that if I had to choose between you avoiding me or having to deal with whatever problem you're having...I'd rather take on some trouble. I'm pretty sure that's how Kosaki-chan feels too."

Raku didn't know how to answer that. Because they was no way for him to deny what Chitoge said. It was probably all right on the mark.

After all, Chitoge had also confessed to him, like Kosaki had.

"Honestly...you really are acting like a useless beansprout, huh?"

"I just don't want to mess things up..."

"Don't you think Kosaki-chan deserves a say in that too?"

A frustrated expression as he tried to think of something to respond with. But eventually, Raku sighed and admitted defeat. Chitoge grinned in victory and elbowed him in the arm.

"Well. I guess your chance is here," said Chitoge, straightening up and turning to leave.

"Huh? Wait, Chitoge. Where are you going?"

"Learn to read between the lines, Beansprout," said Chitoge, pointing casually at him as she left. Still confused by what Chitoge meant, Raku followed the direction of her finger over his shoulder, turning around and immediately bumping into another person.

"Ah, sorry! I didn't mean realize that someone was behind m—"

"Hrm?"

Onodera Kosaki looked back at him, an appetizer toothpick poised over her bulging mouth.

"O-Onodera!?"

"Ihiho-hun!?" said Kosaki, crumbs spraying from her lips. "Hhoohh! Hm ho horry, Ihiho-hun!"

Having put some distance between them, Chitoge took a glance back to observe the situation. Not exactly how she had expected them to start talking, but at least it was a start. Seeing Raku's face turn red while Kosaki hastily wiped at his sweater with a napkin...the flustered expressions on both their faces as they awkwardly apologized to each other...

It struck Chitoge how nicely they fit together. That the look on Raku's face seemed softer, more tender than when he was with her...

The wedding altar flashed in her mind again. But this time, standing across from Raku and wearing the beautiful wedding dress was...

_Stab._

The sting in her chest deepened. She turned away from the scene, her hand clutching at the front of her dress.

The two of them were the closest friends she had made in Japan. And seeing them happy together...she was sure that it was something she wanted to happen.

So why?

Why did all of this feel so painful still...?

* * *

"..."

"..."

Two minutes.

Five minutes.

Fifteen minutes.

And still, the silence between the two had yet to be broken.

_Damn it, that Chitoge...she set me up! I was wondering why she was being so considerate all of a sudden...Man, I underestimated her. This is almost like something Shu would come up with!_

_Just now...Ichijou-kun was talking with Chitoge-chan, wasn't he? I wonder if I interrupted something..._

The two of them turned their heads to look at each other and jumped when they made eye contact. Averting their eyes quickly, both of their faces started glowing like Christmas lights.

_What am I doing...? Even though I told her all that stuff when we met in front of Chitoge's house, I'm still making things awkward between us! Maybe Shu and Chitoge were right...I'm being way too conscious about this..._

_Ichijou-kun looks like something's troubling him...as I thought, maybe it's not a good idea being too close with him when we're with all of our classmates. People might misunderstand since he and Chitoge are still pretending to date..._

Raku crossed his arms and raised his head up to the ceiling in frustration. Kosaki chewed on her lip as she fidgeted with the fabric of her dress.

They looked at each other again, their mouths already open to say something—

But they couldn't think of anything to say...

"What are we doing...?"

"Hehe...yeah, it's silly, huh?"

"Sorry Onodera..."

"Hm? Sorry for what?"

"Ah...well...I still don't know..."

"I see..."

The silence stretched a little while longer as they tried to hold it back. But still, the laughter leaked out into the open. They laughed together for a good while, as if their bodies were trying to make up for lost time. When they were finally able to gain control of themselves, panting for air, the two were able to meet eyes without feeling like something was between them.

"Do you feel better, Ichijou-kun?"

"Yeah...I don't know why, but suddenly all the stuff I was worrying about feels so trivial..."

"I guess that means you figured something out?"

"Well...no. I'm still wondering about some things..." said Raku, scratching at his cheek with a finger. "But I think I can put it off till later. Spending time with you is more important to me right now."

"—!"

Kosaki's face exploded at Raku's brazen statement. Her eyes went downcast as her hands came up to cover her burning cheeks.

"Ahh sorry! I was thinking about something Shu and Chitoge said, so I just said that out of the blue..."

"No...it's okay. I was just a little surprised..."

Blushing silence. Now that Raku thought about it, somehow all their conversations usually ended up like this. Unlike with Chitoge or Haru, he was keenly aware of every word he said to Kosaki. It was a strange feeling, being both comforted and made restless by her presence. It was only with Kosaki where his heart couldn't seem to settle down...

"Me too..."

"Huh!?"

Raku exclaimed involuntarily, his pulse skyrocketing at Kosaki's words. Hold on, had Kosaki just read his mind somehow? Or...had he been saying all of his thoughts out loud!?

"Me too...I've been thinking too. About you and Chitoge pretending to date. I didn't want to make any trouble for you guys, so I've been a little awkward around you I think..."

_Huh...?_

_Onodera...was worrying about something like that?_

"But I want to stop thinking about it too. Because I have the same feelings as you, Ichijou-kun. I want to keep spending time with you and having fun together more than anything else."

"I see..." said Raku, brightening up. Even after all this time, they still felt the same way about each other. Even though their situation was complicated, even though things had changed and were going to continue to change...

_Spending time and having fun together...huh?_

It was like a sharp knife had cut through the fog. Raku felt like something had just clicked...that all the pieces were there and now just waiting to be seen...

_Could it be..._

_That what I've been worrying about all this time was..._

"Ah..."

A ringtone version of "Recovery Decoration" began playing from Kosaki's pocket.

"Sorry, Ichijou-kun...my phone is..."

"Uhh, yeah. It's okay," said Raku, turning away to give her some space.

Kosaki took out her phone with a troubled expression. The mood had just started to get better between them too...she wondered who could be calling her at this time.

"Huh...?"

"Is something wrong?" said Raku, glancing back.

"Uh...no. It's just I don't recognize this number..."

The ringtone continued cheerfully. Kosaki stopped it with a push of a button and put the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?"

"..."

Dead air. The only response was one of varying static. She looked at her phone screen to make sure that she had actually picked up.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Still no answer. For some reason, the hairs on the back of Kosaki's neck stood on end. There was a faint sound in the background...like muffled voices...

"Um...hello? Hello, is anyone there? ...If no one is there, I'll be hanging up now."

Just as Kosaki was about to pull the phone away from her ear, someone answered.

**"Am I speaking to Magical Patissier?"**

The voice was distorted and deep. It came so abruptly that Kosaki jerked a little bit upon hearing it.

But it was familiar too...There was something in that voice that reminded her of someone...

"Magical...Magic...huh? I'm sorry, but what did you say again?"

"..."

The static returned. But now she could pick out the breathing of the person on the other end. It seemed so close...as if the person was just over her shoulder, lips just barely floating above her ear...

"Are you sure that's what you want your answer to be? It's fine, there's no danger of pond snails here..."

"H...Huh? Pond snails? What do you mean by that?"

"..."

A small chuckle. Kosaki jolted again at the sound, this time feeling as if something had just touched her skin. The static in the phone grew louder and louder, until it was a roaring wave that was making her eyes shut with pain—

"I'm sorry. I seem to have called the wrong number. Please forgive me for taking up your time."

"Ah...no, that's oka—"

"Well then, I'll hang up now. It was nice talking to you, Onodera Kosaki."

**Behind her.**

Kosaki whipped around in a panic.

But only Raku was standing there, looking startled.

"Onodera? What's wrong?"

"Ah...sorry, Ichijou-kun. I thought someone was..."

So clear. The voice on the phone had sounded so clear at the end, it was like the person had been standing right next to her.

Her throat was dry. Her skin felt cold and clammy. Kosaki looked down and realized that her hand was shaking slightly.

"Are you sure you're alright? Who was that on the phone?" said Raku, looking worried.

"Um...it was...it was a wrong number," said Kosaki, forcing a smile onto her face. "Don't worry about it."

But even as she said that, Kosaki scrolled through her phone to the call records. She didn't know why, but something about that phone call made her feel uneasy...

What had that person said? Magical Patissier? What was that supposed to be about...?

"It's nothing. It's really nothing, Ichijou-kun," said Kosaki, trying to wipe the worry on his face. Now that the call was over, she started to feel a bit foolish. It had just been a mistaken phone call...what was she getting so jumpy about? "It might've even just been a prank call or something...I was just a little confused because I didn't know what they were talking abo—"

_Eh...?_

Kosaki's thumb froze in place above the button on her phone.

_No way..._

_How...?_

"Really? Are you sure it was nothing?"

"Y...Yeah. I...I'm sure..."

But she had no confidence in her words. In fact, she felt more shaken up than before, filled with a chilling sensation that was creeping its way through her body—

Because on the phone that Onodera Kosaki had just been talking on—

In the call logs that she had just been looking through—

There was no record of the call that had just been made.

* * *

**A/N: **_And here ends part two. It's been almost two months since the last chapter. For those who are still reading, I'm sorry for the long downtime and am grateful that you're still sticking with this story. For those readers that have favorited, followed, and reviewed in the past months, thank you very much! It really made things easier while writing to see that there was still interest in the fic. _

_So, what was the reason for this long gap between updates? Actually, the source of my troubles stems back to the holidays. Shortly after posting the last chapter, I was asked by a friend to accompany him on a venture for the last half of December. Thinking that it wouldn't be much trouble, I agreed and made preparations for whatever we were going to be doing during that time._

_Summarizing the details, the best comparison I can make for this venture was like grinding a 1 trillion HP mob in an RPG, only for it to respawn right after, preventing you from picking up the loot or even running away. At the end of this venture, I was just a dusty shell of my former self...my brain turned to complete mush from this soul-sucking endeavor. I actually started writing this chapter at the beginning of January, but it was difficult for me to focus or even decipher what I was writing. As a result, I ended up...binge-watching a lot of TV to recover..._

_I'm sorry...perhaps if I had a Senzu bean or something, I would have come out with this chapter more quickly..._

_Anyways, so what does our schedule look like for the future? Once again, I can't provide a good estimate. This arc is proving to be a lot more difficult to write than I expected...unlike the other two arcs, it has a more directed focus that forces me to be more careful with how I develop the story. That said, I think there are some interesting turns coming up...so hope you'll look forward to that when we come to the next update!  
_


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